#Like only after calling it like old people tennis would they get the gist
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Can someone explain to me the meteoric rise in popularity of pickleball???
like it went from being a more unknown/unpopular version of tennis to being pretty widely played.
#Pickleball#tennis#sports#line at first I thought it was kind of like a new fad bc how quickly it became popular but it’s still pretty big#Like before like 2 years ago I feel like when I’d talk to people about it they wouldn’t have any idea what I meant#Like only after calling it like old people tennis would they get the gist#My one friend from like 4 years ago who also knew it would call it baby tennis#So like what shifted the culture lol
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Benedict head canons? How does he mingle with the rest of the gang
Benedict is an incredibly odd mix of “Polite and socially adept by nature” and “the world’s most awkward man due to the fact he’s stuck almost 200 years after he lived.” He’s fairly adaptable, and learned a lot from other survivors as the cycled in and out of the realm, and worked hard to be able to keep up to date, but he’s also been punched on many occasions in the realm for saying or doing something he had no idea was going to get that kind of reaction. This is left him uhhhhhhhh extremely cautious saying things, and it’s not unusual for him to pause mid sentence and check facial expressions with sudden concern, afraid he’s fucked up again, but it’s super funny the kinds of things that lead him to do this. For example: was afraid that he might be suckerpunched for saying “Things really have changed a lot. I would have thought four unwed adults of different sexes sharing an apartment to attend college together would be looked on as a little scandalous, since no one could know the situation.” (About Claudette, Quentin, Nancy, and Philip all sharing an apartment to go to college) and was also deeply afraid after he said it that saying “Wow! The idea of standard middle class transportation has changed so drastically. To think an automobile like this is considered average,” might be some kind of class-offensive statement, and stopped right after both with a horrified look on his face waiting to see what the damage was. Which, in both cases, was none, but a lot of amusement from the person he was talking to. He does have a tendency in past of accidentally putting his foot in his mouth, but honestly, he’s gotten pretty good at adapting to the times and was never that bad. Alex Lin really just liked putting him in a world of hurt for everything he ever did because she thought it was hilarious, and Benedict could never tell which things were partially jokes and which were sincere, coming from her. Got beat up the first time he met her, because he told her to stay behind a rock and let him run a distraction for her since she was a lady and it was his duty to protect her if he could. She broke his nose with one hit and told him she’d break his fingers with her platform boots if he ever called her a “lady” again, and to stick the sanctimonious crap up his ass, she could take care of herself better than he could, and he instantly fell in love. Has Alex to thank for his paranoia, but probably also for how little he actually does put his foot in his mouth anymore.
Benedict is very proper, and still kind of dresses like he’s from the wrong century. He thinks tech is fascinating, but he’s also kind of a grandpa at learning it. Kate and Jane both give him lessons on tech and just society and things that have changed, and it helps a lot. He is super intimidated by the American highway system and taking a tin can hurdling around at 80 miles an hour while other drivers shoot past you, and afraid of driving, but Kate gives him slow lessons until while still afraid to drive on highways, he’s okay with taking residential roads and driving a bit, despite the way American drivers can get in big cities even just on their way to the drugstore. Kate knew him a little in-realm, so she’s one of the ones closest to him, and enjoys him a lot. She thinks it’s kind of sweet how gentlemanly and polite he is, and how he’s so fascinated by like, cigarette lighters in cars and automatic supermarket doors, and her ancient handheld tennis ball sized electronic 20 questions game. Jane likes him too, and they’re research buddies a lot. He can focus for hours and hours over the dustiest old times, and actually, he can read a lot of the ancient handwriting on old historical documents before common spellings developed, and it’s kind of a godsend. She also greatly enjoys how casually (and often) he drifts into ethical discussions while he does even the most mundane shit like washing dishes.
While no one but Kate met Benedict in-realm, and he spends the most time with her, and with Jane, who he lives and works with, all of them feel like they know him or like he’s a living legend or both, since they’ve been reading and hanging on his writing for years in-realm. He’s accepted immediately, and has so many common experiences—even if not of the exact same trials—that he kinda just fits like a glove, and is extremely welcomed and a natural addition to the group. Philip and Sally are especially close to him, and it kind of helps bridge the intial, slightly awkward gap. After icebreakers, he drifts from house to house like everyone else, and is like, the weird great uncle to most of the younger survivors. Min loves absolutely bombarding him with tech stuff to watch his eyes glaze over while he drowns trying to keep up with her discussions of bitrate and solid state drives, becuase she’s a little cruel, but she does also help him figure out his first decent phone, so she can be your devil or your only slightly sadistic angel. Claudette loves discussing realm stuff with him, and helping each other on research. Also the only one with any experience with falconing, so he kind of helped Jake get some of his initial setup and gear for Alex the crow figured out.
Benedict collects things from the 21st century, especially simple electronics, and everyone thinks that’s kind of endearing, and start picking out simple gifts to get him when they know they’re gonna see him soon. Singing birthday cards, an old gameboy SP, boom boxes, a record player, laser pointers, magic 8 ball (this actually freaked him out, but he didn’t tell anyone because he was afraid of being made fun of), a Bop It, and all kinds of little lights and decorations that make sound or light or move. He has an ever expanding self of these gifts he calls his “Little Marvels” stand, and he really enjoys it. Has tried taking them apart to understand them better, but is usually overwhelmed. Jake took pity on him and helped him get the extreme basic gist of a circuit board once though, and since then, he has been fascinated. Jane soemtimes comes to the table for breakfast to find Benedict with one of those Kid Science kits on the table and potatoes hooked into wires powering a mini fan going, “Jane! Would you look at this. Isn’t that fascinating? Who knew the PH could have this kind of ability?” She finds this endearing and also weirdly relaxing to wake up to.
Benedict takes notes all the time. On literally everything. Is extremely poetic and writes poetry occasionally when he is overcome by the beauty of something like his first time seeing a park lit up with Christmas lights in fancy sculpture arrays on a crisp December night. Gets book recommendations from Adam and Jane and loves talking shop with them. Is constantly horrified by the news. He’s not used to global news being so all at once or so much. He has a really really hard time adjusting and not being thrown into wild bouts of depression. Jane talks him into giving himself more healthy doses of time away from news so he doesn’t kill his 1860s adjusted brain, and he finally takes the advice and is very grateful for the improved quality of his life.
Loves dogs so much. Not a fan of small dogs though. Not like he hates them, just thinks they’re kind of depressing and bug-eyed usually and feels bad for them. Wants a hound. Ends up getting a Yorkshire Terrier mutt instead because it’s the whimpering thing that follows him down a New Jersey street in a rainstorm after a long day of research with Jane. Doesn’t mean to get a pet period but it’s so pathetic and its foot has been injured by something, maybe a car, so he picks it up and takes it home to warm up and give food to before dropping off at a shelter or vet. It’s so wildly affectionate and has so much love in its disproportionately big eyes he keeps being like “...It can stay a little longer,” until he was wrong and it just lives there now. Names it Missy and gave her a little hairbow. Calls her his research assistant. Jane loves this dog. Benedict was already well accepted and friends with the other survivors, but bringing a pet to a party makes people like you more in this family.
Mostly, Benedict is kind of an old man of a professor. He enjoys chatting, but is hard to drag into the more physical activities, except hikes, which he quite enjoys. He mingled quite a bit more than he expected though, and is deeply happy about how accepted he’s become, and how much he cares about these people and they seem to truly care about him.
#ask#anonymous#Benedict baker#headcanons#in living memory (fic)#in living memory#ilm spoilers#dead by daylight
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( KIM DOYEON , CIS FEMALE , SHE/HER ) did you just see LIANNE RYU pull up on campus for the new semester ? they’re the TWENTY ONE year old in DELTA ZETA ALPHA right ? i heard they’re a TREASURER . it makes perfect sense because they’re RANCOROUS , but at the same time BEGUILING . i wonder when the black sheep is going to drop the big secret that they PAID OF THE PEOPLE SHE USED TO BULLY TO KEEP HER REPUTATION INTACT . anyway , i constantly hear them blasting SPICE GIRL BY AMINÉ , tell them to keep it down , it’s quiet hours .
whew , miss doyeon could step on my neck ! hello angels and gems , i’m koa and i’m super excited to be here . i love a good greek life rp , so i was happy to come across this in the tags ! i’m not gonna lie , lianne is a pretty brand new muse but kind of a mosh of characters that i’ve played in the past , so let’s cross our fingers that all goes well . my discord can be shared dependent on request as sometimes it doesn’t want to let people add me , but if you’re down to plot in the dm’s i’m fine with that too . i have a link to some connections that can be found here , and at the bottom of this intro you can find some more ! without further ado , here is miss lianne ryu !
BIRTH NAME : ryu do - hee . PREFERRED NAME : lianne ryu . NICKNAME(S) : lia , exclusively . BIRTHDATE / AGE : january 17th , 1999 / 21 . ZODIAC : capricorn . HOMETOWN : sherman oaks , california ( take a peek ) . GENDER : cis female . NATIONALITY : korean - american . ETHNICITY : korean . HEIGHT : five foot , eight inches ( 5′8″ ) . LABEL(S) : the sovereign , the million dollar baby , and the amaranth . ROMANTIC ORIENTATION : biromantic . SEXUAL ORIENTATION : bisexual . OCCUPATION : international relations major at ucla , treasurer of delta zeta alpha , and outsider hitter for the women’s volleyball team . LANGUAGES SPOKEN : english , korean , and conversational french ( as a major requirement ) . POSITIVES : beguiling , candid , ebullient , intelligent , and cosmopolitan . NEGATIVES : rancorous , haughty , bull - headed , unscrupulous , and sanctimonious .
background .
bang ji - eun and ryu tae - ho were students at the university of southern california when they met one another . tae - ho was a human rights student with intent on becoming a lawyer , and he encountered the beautiful romance language and literature major that was ji - eun when they both attended a peaceful protest . the two wound up next to one another and sparked a conversation from there , and once their protesting was over , they decided to go on a date that very same night . their relationship was something of a whirlwind , and within a year , the two were eloping at the courthouse .
their families thought they were crazy , especially since their rings consisted of little cheap ones from macy’s ( and tae - ho proposed with her favorite food ) but it was that shared weirdness that kept the couple together . as tae - ho worked his way through law school following their graduation from usc , ji - eun jumped right into working for a publishing firm . the couple didn’t come from a wealthy background by any means , but they were living comfortably . after a couple of years of marriage , tae - ho graduated from law school and went to work as a defense attorney . it wasn’t an easy job , but he loved what he did and made that evident in the work that he did .
fast forward a few more years , and ji - eun has moved up in her company as has tae - ho . they’re making more money , and they make their move to the beautiful suburbs of sherman oaks . they work hard for more years , and just as they enter into their mid - thirties , they’re welcoming their first and only baby girl into the world . they decide to name the big brown eyed baby do - hee , and she’s showered in their love . her parents began calling her lianne from the time she was a baby , often switching between korean ( where they called her do - hee ) and english ( where they called her lianne , but sometimes the lines blurred ) . as lianne grew older , her parents made even more money with her mom becoming the editor - in - chief of the publishing house and her father becoming one of the most sought after defense attorneys in the los angeles area .
for lianne , that meant growing up with whatever she wanted . however , her parents were still quite hands - on with her , so she was never left in the care of nannies . she grew up doing everything she could imagine , but that didn’t stop her parents from putting her in different week long camps over the summers . she tried her hand at tennis camp , basketball camp , ballet camp , and even a stem camp , but when she was in middle school she attended a volleyball camp right before her seventh grade year . she’s been hooked ever since . lianne always made sure to keep up her grades while playing because she never wanted to miss a game , so it was no surprise when she obtained a partial athletic scholarship to ucla !
during her high school years , though , it was no secret that lianne was at the top of the social ladder . she played a sport , was whip smart , and was student body president so it wasn’t all that shocking for her to be mean to the students around her . it wasn’t necessarily on purpose , but she can be quite domineering at times . she didn’t know how to take no for an answer despite not being ridiculously spoiled as she grew up , but she was also in the mentality of being an only child so she ultimately did get what she wanted . she definitely wasn’t the bully that got onto people about their lack of money , but she was definitely going to get in your face about voting for her for something she was running for until you stuffed the ballot with her name .
lianne is an international relations major at ucla and she joined delta zeta alpha during her sophomore year , and worked her way to becoming the treasurer of the srat . she’s super into her major and will probably go off to work in politics as a political analyst , or she might pull a meghan markle ( also an international relations major ) and dismantle a royal house . you know , icons only . that being said , she’s still relatively new so i’m still working out some kinks , but that’s the gist of my daughter !
headcanons .
she cruises around los angeles in a white volvo xc60 . we love a practical queen .
she’s been playing volleyball since she was in middle school , and has stuck with it ever since . she does club during the summers to remain in shape , but she’s sad that it’s coming to an end .
some people don’t think she’s an international relations major because she wants to be , but she does !
that being said , she doesn’t dress as conservatively as most business majors but she’s very serious about her major .
she’s 100% based on red head doyeon at this current moment but black haired doyeon is gonna make an appearance once i get tired of it lmao .
a tennis skirt enthusiast .
she uses way too many emojis in her texts and that’s never going to change .
she’s most comfortable in her own space , but she likes being around other people as well . her favorite thing to get food from is leo’s taco truck and that’s probably never going to change .
personality .
overall , lia is a girl who knows her worth and isn’t going to let you forget it . she’s really smart , but not in an annoying way , and she definitely won’t dumb herself down for anyone . she likes to have fun and when she’s out for the night she definitely won’t be thinking about school , but if she’s studying ... don’t even ASK her to go out . you gotta have a solid work / life balance , y’know ? very headstrong and it takes a lot to admit that she’s wrong , but she’s also the worst person to cross , so be careful ! she’s fun - loving and she isn’t an outright bitch for no reason , but she’s not gonna take that and just sit back with it . she barks back .
desired relationships .
as for some connections , i’d genuinely love just about everything ! i’ve listed some specifics down below , but if you’d rather work based on chemistry or if you want to simply brainstorm we can do that ! also , if you had anything that you wanted to do , please let me know !
a best friend ! they don’t necessarily have to be from delta , but honestly someone who she gets along with the best and who she can really be herself around .
i’d die for an enemy / rival ? someone who she genuinely does not vibe with or like at all , and there’s really no way of them ever becoming friends . they probably subtweet each other or be really shady on instagram , but they feed into their dislike for one another and probs let their friends hype them up sometimes ? i don’t want to godmod the plot , but it could it could be fun !
some generic things like friends with benefits , gym buddies , high school friends , confidant(s) , good or bad influence , one night stand(s) , ex(es) , enemies with benefits , and frenemies .
ooo , a squad from high school ! maybe they’ve since drifted a part or they’re still as close as ever , but omg reliving high school memories 🥺 .
alright i am a lover of any and everything written in angst , so please give me an angsty exes thing so i can hand you my heart on a silver platter !
a slow burn / will they , won’t they would be so much fun too ESPECIALLY if there are extenuating factors on why they can’t be together and ugh . please rip my heart out i’m actually begging you to .
#rushqs:intro#bullying tw#bully tw#just to be safe !#i still need to make snap icons ... [ ninki minjaj vc ] yikes !
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5 Tips for Creating a Customer-Attracting, Dynamic Brand
Recently, a colleague walked into my office looking refreshed. He had a great tan, relaxed physical demeanor, and big smile—but he hadn’t gone on vacation.
I asked him, somewhat enviously, why he seemed so at ease. “I started playing baseball in ‘an old man’s league’,” he said with a grin.
“When we were kids, we had many activities that we enjoyed,” he continued. “As you get older, you have more commitments. Work, travel, kids’ school and athletics and activities, time with your spouse, and so on. You lose sight of yourself because you are focused on everyone else.”
This struck a chord. A while ago, I created something called “Brand You,” which helps individuals build their confidence in the value that they bring, while aligning their walk and talk. This methodology is always on my mind, so I couldn’t help but reflect on whether my colleague had a really important lesson to share with brand-builders.
His story begged the question: Have our lives become only two-dimensional—work on the one hand, family on the other, and never the twain shall meet? What kind of un-dynamic people does that make us?
I began to wonder if our professional lives—perhaps even our entire personal brand—might have greater dimension if we spent more time doing the relaxing activities we genuinely enjoy.
So I launched an informal study of colleagues and friends. I asked each of them if the status quo of work and family (each relegated to its own sphere) was enough to bring their personal brands to life—to differentiate them from others in the same field.
I heard things like this:
“I get a lot of personal enjoyment from my job and my family. Being a parent and spouse is still work , though.”
“Constantly being the ‘mom’ at work and at home is exhausting. Trying to make everyone else’s lives easier leaves nothing for you.”
“Being with the kids and having fun is great, and it adds dimension. But doing something for myself to continue learning, developing, and evolving is important.”
“Having an escape from responsibility and feeling like a kid again is refreshing and it gives me a way to let go of the stress of work and family.”
Which of these people would YOU engage with because of their electric dynamism? More than likely, the ones with a sense of exploration and personal growth.
Unfortunately, though, many of us miss the boat on this. We get sucked into routines that never give us room for enrichment.
That’s why I put together these 5 ideas for how you can add dimension to your personal brand—not only to improve your storytelling and build a following, but to give yourself new perspective on life, business, and success.
1. Develop a hobby
Consider what you loved to do as a child. Were you a big soccer head? A baseball nut? A tennis fanatic? Or, think about an activity you’ve always dreamed of doing.
Do it. Don’t feel guilty spending an hour away from your family or from work. Trust me; it will add dimension, enjoyment, and satisfaction to your world.
In fact, my daughter and I started taking a sign language class so that we can working with the hearing impaired. This has always been a dream of mine, and she wants to befriend hearing-impaired children. The class is 60 minutes, one day a week—a minimal time commitment and the perfect opportunity to spend time with my daughter learning something new. Not surprisingly, this often becomes the topic of business conversations (adding to my brand as a kind, empathetic professional).
2. Don’t be an adventure-shy traveler
Raise your hand if you’re one of those peripatetic business travelers who jockeys between hotel rooms and conferences rooms—and never explores their destinations.
Too many of my friends and colleagues are exactly like this. Sure, business trips are for business, but you’re likely not working the ENTIRE trip, so take time in the evenings or off hours to explore your new locale. Get out with employees and coworkers, and experience the native culture. Doing so expands your experiences and gives you more inspiration for storytelling. That storytelling is what hooks in an audience you’ve never met—prospects eager to connect with you, relate to you, and live vicariously through your adventures.
Case in point: A colleague of mine was in Chile for two days for an internal meeting. As luck would have it, she had three hours at the end of the day and went to a super market to understand the region’s typical foods and spices, then trekked to the home of Pablo Neruda, the Nobel Prize-winning Chilean poet. Imagine the stories (and photos) she was able to share after that adventure!
3. Enjoy fiction
Temporarily put down the business or self-help books that usually pile up on your nightstand and start reading or listening to fiction from the cities, states, and countries you visit—or from authors who share similar backgrounds with the people you meet. It is a wonderful way to build perspective, understand others, and deepen your brand as someone well-read and empathetic to other cultures.
Thankfully, there are countless phenomenal titles to choose from these days. If you want to understand Chinese culture, for example, consider digging into something light like “Crazy Rich Asians” by Kevin Kwan. For something more historical, “China Dolls” by Lisa See is a great pick.
4. Play a role in your community
Community activism offers an opportunity to make an immediate difference in your neighborhood while giving you a sense of purpose, value, and belonging.
There are always plenty of needs in your community, too. Libraries almost always need volunteers, community races need organizers, local political organizations need leaders, etc.
Try a number of activities, but be sure you don’t give up if your first choice isn’t the right one for you.
One sales leader I know tried getting involved in local politics, only to find it slow-moving, bureaucratic, and unsatisfying. Instead of quitting, though, he moved onto being a Boy Scouts pack leader and found his true community calling.
Sometimes, these activities can lead you to your next career move. An attorney friend I once worked with decided to volunteer for the environmental committee in her town years ago; this ultimately led to her run for mayor.
5. Make real friends
A while back, I stumbled across a 2012 Forbes article titled, “7 pillars of connecting with absolutely anyone.” In resonated so much, I keep it on my desk for easy reference.
Here’s the gist: In all of your relationships, be human, be vulnerable, be genuinely interested, and be real. Spend time listening and learning from your friends; hear their points of view even if they differ from yours.
Having real friends offers personal enjoyment and new perspectives that will inherently add dimension to your life and brand.
One of my closest friends has views that are the polar opposite of mine. When we are in a group setting, she will share her thoughts and others will debate with her. I always tell myself, “Seek to understand her; don’t debate. You won’t win.”
But I don’t need to win the debate; I automatically “win” by learning and experiencing her culture, speaking her language, and appreciating her views on policy and government.
#
Whatever your specialty or industry, your personal brand is at the heart of what attracts people to you—both customers and potential friends. If you want to engage people with rich stories, compelling perspectives, and nuanced ideas, then there’s only one thing to do: Step away from work and family routines to build YOURSELF as a well-rounded, curious human being.
Start with one (or more) of the 5 tips above, and you’ll be well on your way to dynamic success.
To help you build in time for your enriching activities, implement this vetted Morning Routine…
Sign up now to get our FREE Morning Routine guide—the #1 way to increase productivity, energy, and focus for profitable days. Used by thousands of fitness, business, and finance industry leaders to leapfrog the competition while making time for the people who really matter. Learn more here.
The post 5 Tips for Creating a Customer-Attracting, Dynamic Brand appeared first on Early To Rise.
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Regrets, Confessions, Guilt and Secrets: Part 1
Regrets. I, like most, have many regrets. For others regrets are about things you wanted to do or the book you should have bought or the username you wished was different.
For me regrets are hard truths. I shouldn’t have done [blank] because of [blank]. I wish i hadn’t done the things that i did. I wish i could have done something else or said something else. Regrets haunt you and they certainly haunt me. Quite often regrets are towards people and most of mine are.
I regret not making this post sooner because it’s painful holding things inside, it’s hard not having a friend close enough to say this to. I had the idea to do this a couple of weeks ago but i think i procrastinated because i was scared of the idea of these things coming to light…so here it goes - my lifetime of regrets:
1. My grandma. My mum’s mum died i think in 2005 when i was either 3 or 4. I wish i had known her like my sister had known her, i wish i had done things differently because the only memory i have of her i was a dumb litte kid who obviously didn’t know anything. I didn’t know she was dying, i hardly knew she was my grandma because i couldn’t remember seeing her before (i think because she was in hospital for a long time). When we got to the hospital or care home or whatever it was i almost immediately went to the tv to find something to watch. I didn’t really talk to her and I was a little grumpy because i don’t think they had cbbc or cbeebies on the television, it was pretty much just bbc one.
I wish i saw her more, i wish i hadn’t been so young, i wish that when we see a robin and say it’s grandma Barbara that i could put a face to her name.
2. Luke Carl. Now and again i go to church and sometimes Luke does too. When we were kids and junior church was actually good we went a lot more often. When we were between the ages of 4 and 6, i think, we were both in beavers (like pre cubs which if you don’t know is pre scouts) and we did this walk down a canal. We were so close to where everyone had ended up that we really wanted to run over but it was on the other side of the canal. I say i couldn’t see th bridge but i can’t remember if i couldn’t. I know what the bridge looks like now I’m older and i remember seeing it after being told off. We had been told that we shouldn’t cross over the locks or whatever they’re called because we could fall in but i couldn’t remember seeing the bridge so when i asked if we could cross i meant the lock not the bridge. I knew it was dangerous and i think i asked multiple times because i couldn’t remember or doubted that i heard correctly but the person looking after us said yes and we crossed. I’m pretty sure it was my idea or luke tried to tell me there was a bridge but nonetheless we both got seriously told off because if we had fallen in we could have died. Now when i see him i often remember and feel guilty.
I regret crossing the canal when i knew it was dangerous. I regret being so impatient that i couldn’t wait for the old guy leading us to reach the bridge. I regret getting Luke in trouble.
3. Matthew Riley. There’s not really much to this one and it’s pretty dumb but basically i said to his mum he was hyperactive because we went on a camp as a part of cubs and he kept us up for ages when we were trying to sleep. I had to apologise and i did but for some reason i still feel kinda bad about it. We weren’t really friends to begin with and he was younger than me. We only saw each other now and again because our mums were friends and my sister babysat him and his little brother from time to time.
4. Ben. Another weird little one. Basically before he moved to another part of Hemel and had to change schools we were friends. We were only in year 2 and i think he was one of my first few friends. I kinda feel like i peer pressured him into getting pokemon diamond/pearl because i had recently discovered it. He liked it but I’m pretty sure he moved on from it pretty quick. It’s silly but i feel guilty because i shouldn’t have done that. Sure i was like 6 or 7 but some blame has to be put on me even if it hasn’t affected his life at all.
5. James Batchelor. Towards my last year of primary school i started to become closer friends with a couple of people. James was one. We talked about moshi monsters (yeah i know, what a loser) and also our hate for a couple of people in our year. We both didn’t like popular people because they were usually annoying and we just weren’t like them. There were a few nice popular people but there were about two nasty ones in his class. Anyway, he came over to my house once and i can’t remember what happened but i think he was kinda rude, i kinda remember him saying “oh, i saw your password” and saying he could go on my account and stuff. It’s a bit hazier than the others but the gist of it was we fell out and i said some mean stuff about him. I regret whatever it was between us especially since I’ve seen him a couple of times in game in the last few years and we never said hello once or waved in acknowledgement.
6. Scout Summer Camp. I was sorta bullied in year 7 because i had a really high pitched voice, I’m fairly camp and I only really had 1 friend from primary school in secondary school. I was asked by these two assholes whether i was gay about a thousand times a day even when i said no. Today I’d have to say it’s complicated but back then i was 11 and was as sexually attracted to other people as a doorknob is so of course i said no because the way they asked all the time was in a way that suggested it was a bad thing.
When i went to summer camp maybe a year later i got into a bit of a fight. The day before this kid was annoying me and being a bit of an ass. He spoiled something in the movie that we watched although it wasn’t really a spoiler because it had nothing to do with the plot or ending and he kept saying stuff and being annoying all through it. The next day or whenever it was we were in the the foresty bit near our tents and he was being annoying. I’m sure i said some mean things too though. He had a bit of this thin blue rope thing he was messing about with and i stepped on it. I wouldn’t let go so he threw a tennis ball. I think i told him to try again or something and he did. I hit him with the rope and he still has a scar i think. I chased him and tried to apologise or something but he kicked and punched me away. I was told off and when spoken to one to one about it something came up about that i had been under some stress or was having a rough time because of what happened in year 7 so i kinda blamed it on that. I wasn’t really punished at all but i should have been.
I regret that i didn’t take the responsibility properly and that i didn’t get punished properly. I felt so guilty and everybody else made me feel so bad. I hate what i did and regret even going to scouts. I didn’t like it that much, people were mean to me and I was mean to them.
7. Carl Allen. This is one i really regret. I was volunteering for our scout summer go karting thingy and i was doing the lap signs with Carl in the middle of the field. He was nice and funny but he was popular so at times it felt like he thought he was better than me because he knew more stuff and was into cool things and was far more social than me. He was a bit of a joker and i was used to people lying to me just to see my reaction because “it’s funny” and to see if “I’m gullible”.
I said something about mums like why don’t you ask your mum or something and he told me his mum had died a few months or a year ago from cancer. Being the shitbag that is me i either thought or told him that i wasn’t sure whether to believe him. I knew it was horrible to think he would lie about something like that but i did. He doesn’t go to my school, we’ve never been friends, we’ve never really talked or seen each other but i still feel guilty. I’m sure he probably doesn’t remember me but i feel guilty because what if he hates me and he remembers it and if i ever meet him again. Plus atm I’m kinda questioning and on his Facebook status it says complicated and recently or a while ago he changed his profile picture to one with him and this guy and also he posted a pick showing he got his ears pierced which i view as something kinda gay mostly because it is usually only gay giys can pull off. I feel really bad and guilty about what i did and all i can think is what of i were friends with him. Maybe I’d know if he was gay and maybe I’d know if i was gay.
There’s so much i regret about this and there’s so many emotions but i can’t really put them all into words.
And that’s all that i can think of for now but I’m happy that I’m doing this because whenever you regret something your mind keeps making stuff up to make you feel less bad like “I’m sure i didn’t do that” or “i can’t be blamed - i was only a kid” and every time that happens i feel guiltier and doubt the lies we tell ourselves.
I made this mostly because I would like to apologise to all these people but i can’t, at least not in person or through social media because i don’t know what to say and i don’t want to feel bad or guilty anymore. I don’t want to think about them but i feel that i should for the things I’ve done.
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