#Like only after calling it like old people tennis would they get the gist

[cassandralexxx]

Can someone explain to me the meteoric rise in popularity of pickleball???

like it went from being a more unknown/unpopular version of tennis to being pretty widely played.

[ziracona]

Benedict head canons? How does he mingle with the rest of the gang

Benedict is an incredibly odd mix of “Polite and socially adept by nature” and “the world’s most awkward man due to the fact he’s stuck almost 200 years after he lived.” He’s fairly adaptable, and learned a lot from other survivors as the cycled in and out of the realm, and worked hard to be able to keep up to date, but he’s also been punched on many occasions in the realm for saying or doing something he had no idea was going to get that kind of reaction. This is left him uhhhhhhhh extremely cautious saying things, and it’s not unusual for him to pause mid sentence and check facial expressions with sudden concern, afraid he’s fucked up again, but it’s super funny the kinds of things that lead him to do this. For example: was afraid that he might be suckerpunched for saying “Things really have changed a lot. I would have thought four unwed adults of different sexes sharing an apartment to attend college together would be looked on as a little scandalous, since no one could know the situation.” (About Claudette, Quentin, Nancy, and Philip all sharing an apartment to go to college) and was also deeply afraid after he said it that saying “Wow! The idea of standard middle class transportation has changed so drastically. To think an automobile like this is considered average,” might be some kind of class-offensive statement, and stopped right after both with a horrified look on his face waiting to see what the damage was. Which, in both cases, was none, but a lot of amusement from the person he was talking to. He does have a tendency in past of accidentally putting his foot in his mouth, but honestly, he’s gotten pretty good at adapting to the times and was never that bad. Alex Lin really just liked putting him in a world of hurt for everything he ever did because she thought it was hilarious, and Benedict could never tell which things were partially jokes and which were sincere, coming from her. Got beat up the first time he met her, because he told her to stay behind a rock and let him run a distraction for her since she was a lady and it was his duty to protect her if he could. She broke his nose with one hit and told him she’d break his fingers with her platform boots if he ever called her a “lady” again, and to stick the sanctimonious crap up his ass, she could take care of herself better than he could, and he instantly fell in love. Has Alex to thank for his paranoia, but probably also for how little he actually does put his foot in his mouth anymore.

Benedict is very proper, and still kind of dresses like he’s from the wrong century. He thinks tech is fascinating, but he’s also kind of a grandpa at learning it. Kate and Jane both give him lessons on tech and just society and things that have changed, and it helps a lot. He is super intimidated by the American highway system and taking a tin can hurdling around at 80 miles an hour while other drivers shoot past you, and afraid of driving, but Kate gives him slow lessons until while still afraid to drive on highways, he’s okay with taking residential roads and driving a bit, despite the way American drivers can get in big cities even just on their way to the drugstore. Kate knew him a little in-realm, so she’s one of the ones closest to him, and enjoys him a lot. She thinks it’s kind of sweet how gentlemanly and polite he is, and how he’s so fascinated by like, cigarette lighters in cars and automatic supermarket doors, and her ancient handheld tennis ball sized electronic 20 questions game. Jane likes him too, and they’re research buddies a lot. He can focus for hours and hours over the dustiest old times, and actually, he can read a lot of the ancient handwriting on old historical documents before common spellings developed, and it’s kind of a godsend. She also greatly enjoys how casually (and often) he drifts into ethical discussions while he does even the most mundane shit like washing dishes.

While no one but Kate met Benedict in-realm, and he spends the most time with her, and with Jane, who he lives and works with, all of them feel like they know him or like he’s a living legend or both, since they’ve been reading and hanging on his writing for years in-realm. He’s accepted immediately, and has so many common experiences—even if not of the exact same trials—that he kinda just fits like a glove, and is extremely welcomed and a natural addition to the group. Philip and Sally are especially close to him, and it kind of helps bridge the intial, slightly awkward gap. After icebreakers, he drifts from house to house like everyone else, and is like, the weird great uncle to most of the younger survivors. Min loves absolutely bombarding him with tech stuff to watch his eyes glaze over while he drowns trying to keep up with her discussions of bitrate and solid state drives, becuase she’s a little cruel, but she does also help him figure out his first decent phone, so she can be your devil or your only slightly sadistic angel. Claudette loves discussing realm stuff with him, and helping each other on research. Also the only one with any experience with falconing, so he kind of helped Jake get some of his initial setup and gear for Alex the crow figured out.

Benedict collects things from the 21st century, especially simple electronics, and everyone thinks that’s kind of endearing, and start picking out simple gifts to get him when they know they’re gonna see him soon. Singing birthday cards, an old gameboy SP, boom boxes, a record player, laser pointers, magic 8 ball (this actually freaked him out, but he didn’t tell anyone because he was afraid of being made fun of), a Bop It, and all kinds of little lights and decorations that make sound or light or move. He has an ever expanding self of these gifts he calls his “Little Marvels” stand, and he really enjoys it. Has tried taking them apart to understand them better, but is usually overwhelmed. Jake took pity on him and helped him get the extreme basic gist of a circuit board once though, and since then, he has been fascinated. Jane soemtimes comes to the table for breakfast to find Benedict with one of those Kid Science kits on the table and potatoes hooked into wires powering a mini fan going, “Jane! Would you look at this. Isn’t that fascinating? Who knew the PH could have this kind of ability?” She finds this endearing and also weirdly relaxing to wake up to.

Benedict takes notes all the time. On literally everything. Is extremely poetic and writes poetry occasionally when he is overcome by the beauty of something like his first time seeing a park lit up with Christmas lights in fancy sculpture arrays on a crisp December night. Gets book recommendations from Adam and Jane and loves talking shop with them. Is constantly horrified by the news. He’s not used to global news being so all at once or so much. He has a really really hard time adjusting and not being thrown into wild bouts of depression. Jane talks him into giving himself more healthy doses of time away from news so he doesn’t kill his 1860s adjusted brain, and he finally takes the advice and is very grateful for the improved quality of his life.

Loves dogs so much. Not a fan of small dogs though. Not like he hates them, just thinks they’re kind of depressing and bug-eyed usually and feels bad for them. Wants a hound. Ends up getting a Yorkshire Terrier mutt instead because it’s the whimpering thing that follows him down a New Jersey street in a rainstorm after a long day of research with Jane. Doesn’t mean to get a pet period but it’s so pathetic and its foot has been injured by something, maybe a car, so he picks it up and takes it home to warm up and give food to before dropping off at a shelter or vet. It’s so wildly affectionate and has so much love in its disproportionately big eyes he keeps being like “...It can stay a little longer,” until he was wrong and it just lives there now. Names it Missy and gave her a little hairbow. Calls her his research assistant. Jane loves this dog. Benedict was already well accepted and friends with the other survivors, but bringing a pet to a party makes people like you more in this family.

Mostly, Benedict is kind of an old man of a professor. He enjoys chatting, but is hard to drag into the more physical activities, except hikes, which he quite enjoys. He mingled quite a bit more than he expected though, and is deeply happy about how accepted he’s become, and how much he cares about these people and they seem to truly care about him.

[ftslianne-blog]

            (  KIM  DOYEON  ,  CIS  FEMALE  ,  SHE/HER  )  did  you  just  see  LIANNE  RYU  pull  up  on  campus  for  the  new  semester  ?  they’re  the  TWENTY  ONE  year  old  in  DELTA  ZETA  ALPHA  right  ?  i  heard  they’re  a  TREASURER  .  it  makes  perfect  sense  because  they’re  RANCOROUS  ,  but  at  the  same  time  BEGUILING  .  i  wonder  when  the  black  sheep  is  going  to  drop  the  big  secret  that  they  PAID  OF  THE  PEOPLE  SHE  USED  TO  BULLY  TO  KEEP  HER  REPUTATION  INTACT  .  anyway  ,  i  constantly  hear  them  blasting  SPICE  GIRL  BY  AMINÉ  ,  tell  them  to  keep  it  down  ,  it’s  quiet  hours  .

            whew  ,  miss  doyeon  could  step  on  my  neck  !  hello  angels  and  gems  ,  i’m  koa  and  i’m  super  excited  to  be  here  .  i  love  a  good  greek  life  rp  ,  so  i  was  happy  to  come  across  this  in  the  tags  !  i’m  not  gonna  lie  ,  lianne  is  a  pretty  brand  new  muse  but  kind  of  a  mosh  of  characters  that  i’ve  played  in  the  past  ,  so  let’s  cross  our  fingers  that  all  goes  well  .  my  discord  can  be  shared  dependent  on  request  as  sometimes  it  doesn’t  want  to  let  people  add  me  ,  but  if  you’re  down  to  plot  in  the  dm’s  i’m  fine  with  that  too  .  i  have  a  link  to  some  connections  that  can  be  found  here  ,  and  at  the  bottom  of  this  intro  you  can  find  some  more  !  without  further  ado  ,  here  is  miss  lianne  ryu  !

BIRTH  NAME  :  ryu  do - hee  .  PREFERRED  NAME  : lianne  ryu  .   NICKNAME(S)  :  lia  ,  exclusively  . BIRTHDATE  /  AGE  : january  17th  ,  1999  /  21  . ZODIAC  :  capricorn  .   HOMETOWN  :  sherman  oaks  ,  california  (  take  a  peek  )  . GENDER  : cis  female  . NATIONALITY  : korean  -  american  . ETHNICITY  : korean  . HEIGHT  : five  foot  ,  eight  inches  (  5′8″  )  . LABEL(S)  : the  sovereign  ,  the  million  dollar  baby  ,  and  the  amaranth  . ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION  : biromantic  . SEXUAL  ORIENTATION  : bisexual  . OCCUPATION  : international  relations  major  at  ucla  ,  treasurer  of  delta  zeta  alpha  ,  and  outsider  hitter  for  the  women’s  volleyball  team  . LANGUAGES  SPOKEN  : english  ,  korean  ,  and  conversational  french  (  as  a  major  requirement  )  . POSITIVES  :  beguiling  ,  candid  ,  ebullient  ,  intelligent  ,  and  cosmopolitan  . NEGATIVES  :  rancorous  ,  haughty  ,  bull - headed  ,  unscrupulous  ,  and  sanctimonious  .

background  .

            bang  ji - eun  and  ryu  tae - ho  were  students  at  the  university  of  southern  california  when  they  met  one  another  .  tae - ho  was  a  human  rights  student  with  intent  on  becoming  a  lawyer  ,  and  he  encountered  the  beautiful  romance  language  and  literature  major  that  was  ji - eun  when  they  both  attended  a  peaceful  protest  .  the  two  wound  up  next  to  one  another  and  sparked  a  conversation  from  there  ,  and  once  their  protesting  was  over  ,  they  decided  to  go  on  a  date  that  very  same  night  .  their  relationship  was  something  of  a  whirlwind  ,  and  within  a  year  ,  the  two  were  eloping  at  the  courthouse  .  

            their  families thought  they  were  crazy  ,  especially  since  their  rings  consisted  of  little  cheap  ones  from  macy’s  (  and  tae - ho  proposed  with  her  favorite  food  )  but  it  was  that  shared  weirdness  that  kept  the  couple  together  .  as  tae - ho  worked  his  way  through  law  school  following  their  graduation  from  usc  ,  ji - eun  jumped  right  into  working  for  a  publishing  firm  .  the  couple  didn’t  come  from  a  wealthy  background  by  any  means  ,  but  they  were  living  comfortably  .  after  a  couple  of  years  of  marriage  ,  tae - ho  graduated  from  law  school  and  went  to  work  as  a  defense  attorney  .  it  wasn’t  an  easy  job  ,  but  he  loved  what  he  did  and  made  that  evident  in  the  work  that  he  did  .

            fast  forward  a  few  more  years  ,  and  ji - eun  has  moved  up  in  her  company  as  has  tae - ho  .  they’re  making  more  money  ,  and  they  make  their  move  to  the  beautiful  suburbs  of  sherman  oaks  .  they  work  hard  for  more  years  ,  and  just  as  they  enter   into  their  mid - thirties  ,  they’re  welcoming  their  first  and  only  baby  girl  into  the  world  .  they  decide  to  name  the  big  brown  eyed  baby  do - hee  ,  and  she’s  showered  in  their  love  .  her  parents  began  calling  her  lianne  from  the  time  she  was  a  baby  ,  often  switching  between  korean  (  where  they  called  her  do - hee  )  and  english  (  where  they  called  her  lianne  ,  but  sometimes  the  lines  blurred  )  .  as  lianne  grew  older  ,  her  parents  made  even  more  money  with  her  mom  becoming  the  editor - in - chief  of  the  publishing  house  and  her  father  becoming  one  of  the  most  sought  after  defense  attorneys in  the  los  angeles  area  .  

            for  lianne  ,  that  meant  growing  up  with  whatever  she  wanted  .  however  ,  her  parents  were  still  quite  hands - on  with  her  ,  so  she  was  never  left  in  the  care  of  nannies  .  she  grew  up  doing  everything  she  could  imagine  ,  but  that  didn’t  stop  her  parents  from  putting  her  in  different  week  long  camps  over  the  summers  .  she  tried  her  hand  at  tennis  camp  ,  basketball  camp  ,  ballet  camp  ,  and  even  a  stem  camp  ,  but  when  she  was  in  middle  school  she  attended  a  volleyball camp  right  before  her  seventh  grade  year  .  she’s  been  hooked  ever  since  .  lianne  always  made  sure  to  keep  up  her  grades  while  playing  because  she  never  wanted  to  miss  a  game  ,  so  it  was  no  surprise  when  she  obtained  a  partial  athletic  scholarship  to  ucla  !

            during  her  high  school  years  ,  though  ,  it  was  no  secret  that  lianne  was  at  the  top  of  the  social  ladder  .  she  played  a  sport  ,  was  whip  smart  ,  and  was  student  body  president  so  it  wasn’t  all  that  shocking  for  her  to  be  mean  to  the  students  around  her  .  it  wasn’t  necessarily  on  purpose  ,  but  she  can  be  quite  domineering  at  times  .  she  didn’t  know  how  to  take  no  for  an  answer  despite  not  being  ridiculously  spoiled  as  she  grew  up  ,  but  she  was  also  in  the  mentality  of  being  an  only  child  so  she  ultimately  did  get  what  she  wanted  .  she  definitely  wasn’t  the  bully  that  got  onto  people  about  their  lack  of  money  ,  but  she  was  definitely  going  to  get  in  your  face  about  voting  for  her  for  something  she  was  running  for  until  you  stuffed  the  ballot  with  her  name  .

            lianne  is  an  international  relations  major  at  ucla  and  she  joined  delta  zeta  alpha  during  her  sophomore  year  ,  and  worked  her  way  to  becoming  the  treasurer  of  the  srat  .  she’s  super  into  her  major  and  will  probably  go  off  to  work  in  politics  as  a  political  analyst  ,  or  she  might  pull  a  meghan  markle  (  also  an  international  relations  major  )  and  dismantle  a  royal  house  .  you  know  ,  icons  only  .  that  being  said  ,  she’s  still  relatively  new  so  i’m  still  working  out  some  kinks  ,  but  that’s  the  gist  of  my  daughter  !

headcanons  .

she  cruises  around  los  angeles  in  a  white  volvo  xc60  .  we  love  a  practical  queen  .

she’s  been  playing  volleyball  since  she  was  in  middle  school  ,  and  has  stuck  with  it  ever  since  .  she  does  club  during  the  summers  to  remain  in  shape  ,  but  she’s  sad  that  it’s  coming  to  an  end  .  

some  people  don’t  think  she’s  an  international  relations  major  because  she  wants  to  be  ,  but  she  does !  

that  being  said  ,  she  doesn’t  dress  as  conservatively  as  most  business  majors  but  she’s  very  serious  about  her  major  .

she’s  100%  based  on  red  head  doyeon  at  this  current  moment  but  black  haired  doyeon  is  gonna  make  an  appearance  once  i  get  tired  of  it  lmao  .  

a  tennis  skirt  enthusiast  .

she  uses  way  too  many  emojis  in  her  texts  and  that’s  never  going  to  change  .

she’s  most  comfortable  in  her  own  space  ,  but  she  likes  being  around  other  people  as  well  .  her  favorite  thing  to  get  food  from  is  leo’s  taco  truck  and  that’s  probably  never  going  to  change  .

personality  .

overall  ,  lia  is  a  girl  who  knows  her  worth  and  isn’t  going  to  let  you  forget  it  .  she’s  really  smart  ,  but  not  in  an  annoying  way  ,  and  she  definitely  won’t  dumb  herself  down  for  anyone  .  she  likes  to  have  fun  and  when  she’s  out  for  the  night  she  definitely  won’t  be  thinking  about  school  ,  but  if  she’s  studying  ...  don’t  even  ASK  her  to  go  out  .  you  gotta  have  a  solid  work  /  life  balance  ,  y’know  ?  very  headstrong  and  it  takes  a  lot  to  admit  that  she’s  wrong  ,  but  she’s  also  the  worst  person  to  cross  ,  so  be  careful  !  she’s  fun - loving  and  she  isn’t  an  outright  bitch  for  no  reason  ,  but  she’s  not  gonna  take  that  and  just  sit  back  with  it  .  she  barks  back  .

desired  relationships  .

            as  for  some  connections  ,  i’d  genuinely  love  just  about  everything  !  i’ve  listed  some  specifics  down  below  ,  but  if  you’d  rather  work  based  on  chemistry  or  if  you  want  to  simply  brainstorm  we  can  do  that  !  also  ,  if  you  had  anything  that  you  wanted  to  do  ,  please  let  me  know  !

a  best  friend  !  they  don’t  necessarily  have  to  be  from  delta  ,  but  honestly  someone  who  she  gets  along  with  the  best  and  who  she  can  really  be  herself  around  .

i’d  die  for  an  enemy  /  rival  ?  someone  who  she  genuinely  does  not  vibe  with  or  like  at  all  ,  and  there’s  really  no  way  of  them  ever  becoming  friends  .  they  probably  subtweet  each  other  or  be  really  shady  on  instagram  ,  but  they  feed  into  their  dislike  for  one  another  and  probs  let  their  friends  hype  them  up  sometimes  ?  i  don’t  want  to  godmod  the  plot  ,  but  it  could  it  could  be  fun  !

some  generic  things  like  friends  with  benefits  ,  gym  buddies  ,  high  school  friends  ,  confidant(s)  ,  good  or  bad  influence  ,  one  night  stand(s)  ,  ex(es)  ,  enemies  with  benefits  ,  and  frenemies  .

ooo  ,  a  squad  from  high  school  !  maybe  they’ve  since  drifted  a  part  or  they’re  still  as  close  as  ever  ,  but  omg  reliving  high  school  memories  🥺  .

alright  i  am  a  lover  of  any  and  everything  written  in  angst  ,  so  please  give  me  an  angsty  exes  thing  so  i  can  hand  you  my  heart  on  a  silver  platter  !  

a  slow  burn  /  will  they  ,  won’t  they  would  be  so  much  fun  too   ESPECIALLY  if  there  are  extenuating  factors  on  why  they  can’t  be  together  and  ugh  .  please  rip  my  heart  out  i’m  actually  begging  you  to  .

[disc-golf]

5 Tips for Creating a Customer-Attracting, Dynamic Brand

Recently, a colleague walked into my office looking refreshed. He had a great tan, relaxed physical demeanor, and big smile—but he hadn’t gone on vacation.

I asked him, somewhat enviously, why he seemed so at ease. “I started playing baseball in ‘an old man’s league’,” he said with a grin.

“When we were kids, we had many activities that we enjoyed,” he continued. “As you get older, you have more commitments. Work, travel, kids’ school and athletics and activities, time with your spouse, and so on. You lose sight of yourself because you are focused on everyone else.”

This struck a chord. A while ago, I created something called “Brand You,” which helps individuals build their confidence in the value that they bring, while aligning their walk and talk. This methodology is always on my mind, so I couldn’t help but reflect on whether my colleague had a really important lesson to share with brand-builders.

His story begged the question: Have our lives become only two-dimensional—work on the one hand, family on the other, and never the twain shall meet? What kind of un-dynamic people does that make us?

I began to wonder if our professional lives—perhaps even our entire personal brand—might have greater dimension if we spent more time doing the relaxing activities we genuinely enjoy.

So I launched an informal study of colleagues and friends. I asked each of them if the status quo of work and family (each relegated to its own sphere) was enough to bring their personal brands to life—to differentiate them from others in the same field.

I heard things like this:

“I get a lot of personal enjoyment from my job and my family. Being a parent and spouse is still work , though.”

“Constantly being the ‘mom’ at work and at home is exhausting. Trying to make everyone else’s lives easier leaves nothing for you.”

“Being with the kids and having fun is great, and it adds dimension. But doing something for myself to continue learning, developing, and evolving is important.”

“Having an escape from responsibility and feeling like a kid again is refreshing and it gives me a way to let go of the stress of work and family.”

Which of these people would YOU engage with because of their electric dynamism? More than likely, the ones with a sense of exploration and personal growth.

Unfortunately, though, many of us miss the boat on this. We get sucked into routines that never give us room for enrichment.

That’s why I put together these 5 ideas for how you can add dimension to your personal brand—not only to improve your storytelling and build a following, but to give yourself new perspective on life, business, and success.

1. Develop a hobby

Consider what you loved to do as a child. Were you a big soccer head? A baseball nut? A tennis fanatic?  Or, think about an activity you’ve always dreamed of doing.

Do it. Don’t feel guilty spending an hour away from your family or from work. Trust me; it will add dimension, enjoyment, and satisfaction to your world.

In fact, my daughter and I started taking a sign language class so that we can working with the hearing impaired. This has always been a dream of mine, and she wants to befriend hearing-impaired children. The class is 60 minutes, one day a week—a minimal time commitment and the perfect opportunity to spend time with my daughter learning something new. Not surprisingly, this often becomes the topic of business conversations (adding to my brand as a kind, empathetic professional).

2. Don’t be an adventure-shy traveler

Raise your hand if you’re one of those peripatetic business travelers who jockeys between hotel rooms and conferences rooms—and never explores their destinations.

Too many of my friends and colleagues are exactly like this. Sure, business trips are for business, but you’re likely not working the ENTIRE trip, so take time in the evenings or off hours to explore your new locale. Get out with employees and coworkers, and experience the native culture. Doing so expands your experiences and gives you more inspiration for storytelling. That storytelling is what hooks in an audience you’ve never met—prospects eager to connect with you, relate to you, and live vicariously through your adventures.

Case in point: A colleague of mine was in Chile for two days for an internal meeting. As luck would have it, she had three hours at the end of the day and went to a super market to understand the region’s typical foods and spices, then trekked to the home of Pablo Neruda, the Nobel Prize-winning Chilean poet. Imagine the stories (and photos) she was able to share after that adventure!

3. Enjoy fiction

Temporarily put down the business or self-help books that usually pile up on your nightstand and start reading or listening to fiction from the cities, states, and countries you visit—or from authors who share similar backgrounds with the people you meet. It is a wonderful way to build perspective, understand others, and deepen your brand as someone well-read and empathetic to other cultures.

Thankfully, there are countless phenomenal titles to choose from these days. If you want to understand Chinese culture, for example, consider digging into something light like “Crazy Rich Asians” by Kevin Kwan. For something more historical, “China Dolls” by Lisa See is a great pick.

4. Play a role in your community

Community activism offers an opportunity to make an immediate difference in your neighborhood while giving you a sense of purpose, value, and belonging.

There are always plenty of needs in your community, too. Libraries almost always need volunteers, community races need organizers, local political organizations need leaders, etc.

Try a number of activities, but be sure you don’t give up if your first choice isn’t the right one for you.

One sales leader I know tried getting involved in local politics, only to find it slow-moving, bureaucratic, and unsatisfying. Instead of quitting, though, he moved onto being a Boy Scouts pack leader and found his true community calling.

Sometimes, these activities can lead you to your next career move. An attorney friend I once worked with decided to volunteer for the environmental committee in her town years ago; this ultimately led to her run for mayor.

5. Make real friends

A while back, I stumbled across a 2012 Forbes article titled, “7 pillars of connecting with absolutely anyone.” In resonated so much, I keep it on my desk for easy reference.

Here’s the gist: In all of your relationships, be human, be vulnerable, be genuinely interested, and be real. Spend time listening and learning from your friends; hear their points of view even if they differ from yours.

Having real friends offers personal enjoyment and new perspectives that will inherently add dimension to your life and brand.

One of my closest friends has views that are the polar opposite of mine. When we are in a group setting, she will share her thoughts and others will debate with her. I always tell myself, “Seek to understand her; don’t debate. You won’t win.”

But I don’t need to win the debate; I automatically “win” by learning and experiencing her culture, speaking her language, and appreciating her views on policy and government.

#

Whatever your specialty or industry, your personal brand is at the heart of what attracts people to you—both customers and potential friends. If you want to engage people with rich stories, compelling perspectives, and nuanced ideas, then there’s only one thing to do: Step away from work and family routines to build YOURSELF as a well-rounded, curious human being.

Start with one (or more) of the 5 tips above, and you’ll be well on your way to dynamic success.

To help you build in time for your enriching activities, implement this vetted Morning Routine…

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[traitoronlytohimself]

Regrets, Confessions, Guilt and Secrets: Part 1

Regrets. I, like most, have many regrets. For others regrets are about things you wanted to do or the book you should have bought or the username you wished was different.

For me regrets are hard truths. I shouldn’t have done [blank] because of [blank]. I wish i hadn’t done the things that i did. I wish i could have done something else or said something else. Regrets haunt you and they certainly haunt me. Quite often regrets are towards people and most of mine are.

I regret not making this post sooner because it’s painful holding things inside, it’s hard not having a friend close enough to say this to. I had the idea to do this a couple of weeks ago but i think i procrastinated because i was scared of the idea of these things coming to light…so here it goes - my lifetime of regrets:

1. My grandma. My mum’s mum died i think in 2005 when i was either 3 or 4. I wish i had known her like my sister had known her, i wish i had done things differently because the only memory i have of her i was a dumb litte kid who obviously didn’t know anything. I didn’t know she was dying, i hardly knew she was my grandma because i couldn’t remember seeing her before (i think because she was in hospital for a long time). When we got to the hospital or care home or whatever it was i almost immediately went to the tv to find something to watch. I didn’t really talk to her and I was a little grumpy because i don’t think they had cbbc or cbeebies on the television, it was pretty much just bbc one.

I wish i saw her more, i wish i hadn’t been so young, i wish that when we see a robin and say it’s grandma Barbara that i could put a face to her name.

2. Luke Carl. Now and again i go to church and sometimes Luke does too. When we were kids and junior church was actually good we went a lot more often. When we were between the ages of 4 and 6, i think, we were both in beavers (like pre cubs which if you don’t know is pre scouts) and we did this walk down a canal. We were so close to where everyone had ended up that we really wanted to run over but it was on the other side of the canal. I say i couldn’t see th bridge but i can’t remember if i couldn’t. I know what the bridge looks like now I’m older and i remember seeing it after being told off. We had been told that we shouldn’t cross over the locks or whatever they’re called because we could fall in but i couldn’t remember seeing the bridge so when i asked if we could cross i meant the lock not the bridge. I knew it was dangerous and i think i asked multiple times because i couldn’t remember or doubted that i heard correctly but the person looking after us said yes and we crossed. I’m pretty sure it was my idea or luke tried to tell me there was a bridge but nonetheless we both got seriously told off because if we had fallen in we could have died. Now when i see him i often remember and feel guilty.

I regret crossing the canal when i knew it was dangerous. I regret being so impatient that i couldn’t wait for the old guy leading us to reach the bridge. I regret getting Luke in trouble.

3. Matthew Riley. There’s not really much to this one and it’s pretty dumb but basically i said to his mum he was hyperactive because we went on a camp as a part of cubs and he kept us up for ages when we were trying to sleep. I had to apologise and i did but for some reason i still feel kinda bad about it. We weren’t really friends to begin with and he was younger than me. We only saw each other now and again because our mums were friends and my sister babysat him and his little brother from time to time.

4. Ben. Another weird little one. Basically before he moved to another part of Hemel and had to change schools we were friends. We were only in year 2 and i think he was one of my first few friends. I kinda feel like i peer pressured him into getting pokemon diamond/pearl because i had recently discovered it. He liked it but I’m pretty sure he moved on from it pretty quick. It’s silly but i feel guilty because i shouldn’t have done that. Sure i was like 6 or 7 but some blame has to be put on me even if it hasn’t affected his life at all.

5. James Batchelor. Towards my last year of primary school i started to become closer friends with a couple of people. James was one. We talked about moshi monsters (yeah i know, what a loser) and also our hate for a couple of people in our year. We both didn’t like popular people because they were usually annoying and we just weren’t like them. There were a few nice popular people but there were about two nasty ones in his class. Anyway, he came over to my house once and i can’t remember what happened but i think he was kinda rude, i kinda remember him saying “oh, i saw your password” and saying he could go on my account and stuff. It’s a bit hazier than the others but the gist of it was we fell out and i said some mean stuff about him. I regret whatever it was between us especially since I’ve seen him a couple of times in game in the last few years and we never said hello once or waved in acknowledgement.

6. Scout Summer Camp. I was sorta bullied in year 7 because i had a really high pitched voice, I’m fairly camp and I only really had 1 friend from primary school in secondary school. I was asked by these two assholes whether i was gay about a thousand times a day even when i said no. Today I’d have to say it’s complicated but back then i was 11 and was as sexually attracted to other people as a doorknob is so of course i said no because the way they asked all the time was in a way that suggested it was a bad thing.

When i went to summer camp maybe a year later i got into a bit of a fight. The day before this kid was annoying me and being a bit of an ass. He spoiled something in the movie that we watched although it wasn’t really a spoiler because it had nothing to do with the plot or ending and he kept saying stuff and being annoying all through it. The next day or whenever it was we were in the the foresty bit near our tents and he was being annoying. I’m sure i said some mean things too though. He had a bit of this thin blue rope thing he was messing about with and i stepped on it. I wouldn’t let go so he threw a tennis ball. I think i told him to try again or something and he did. I hit him with the rope and he still has a scar i think. I chased him and tried to apologise or something but he kicked and punched me away. I was told off and when spoken to one to one about it something came up about that i had been under some stress or was having a rough time because of what happened in year 7 so i kinda blamed it on that. I wasn’t really punished at all but i should have been.

I regret that i didn’t take the responsibility properly and that i didn’t get punished properly. I felt so guilty and everybody else made me feel so bad. I hate what i did and regret even going to scouts. I didn’t like it that much, people were mean to me and I was mean to them.

7. Carl Allen. This is one i really regret. I was volunteering for our scout summer go karting thingy and i was doing the lap signs with Carl in the middle of the field. He was nice and funny but he was popular so at times it felt like he thought he was better than me because he knew more stuff and was into cool things and was far more social than me. He was a bit of a joker and i was used to people lying to me just to see my reaction because “it’s funny” and to see if “I’m gullible”.

I said something about mums like why don’t you ask your mum or something and he told me his mum had died a few months or a year ago from cancer. Being the shitbag that is me i either thought or told him that i wasn’t sure whether to believe him. I knew it was horrible to think he would lie about something like that but i did. He doesn’t go to my school, we’ve never been friends, we’ve never really talked or seen each other but i still feel guilty. I’m sure he probably doesn’t remember me but i feel guilty because what if he hates me and he remembers it and if i ever meet him again. Plus atm I’m kinda questioning and on his Facebook status it says complicated and recently or a while ago he changed his profile picture to one with him and this guy and also he posted a pick showing he got his ears pierced which i view as something kinda gay mostly because it is usually only gay giys can pull off. I feel really bad and guilty about what i did and all i can think is what of i were friends with him. Maybe I’d know if he was gay and maybe I’d know if i was gay.

There’s so much i regret about this and there’s so many emotions but i can’t really put them all into words.

And that’s all that i can think of for now but I’m happy that I’m doing this because whenever you regret something your mind keeps making stuff up to make you feel less bad like “I’m sure i didn’t do that” or “i can’t be blamed - i was only a kid” and every time that happens i feel guiltier and doubt the lies we tell ourselves.

I made this mostly because I would like to apologise to all these people but i can’t, at least not in person or through social media because i don’t know what to say and i don’t want to feel bad or guilty anymore. I don’t want to think about them but i feel that i should for the things I’ve done.