#Like im sorry I have exposed you raw and bleeding to the world

[the-cooler-king]

Feeling something over rgu right now...........

[intellijuice]

Malfixation

A malicious fixation on a person animal or object that damages the relationship with that particular person, animal or object.

What started as a quick jot down so I would not forget the details of a regular life lesson that I repetitively fail at spawned a poem writing sesh with no food substance or breaks par a few sips of water 👍 at which point I could not remember what started the whole thing which is generally a good cue to break. Time flys when your cheating doves hey? (If you don't get that ask me it will be on the tip of your tongue I swear)

Often I am afraid to address some of the themes inside my poems that concern and investigate the war on drugs. The war on drugs is the worlds longest global conflict and the most deadly conflict of the 21st century and it continues everyday across the globe with no cease fire on a battlefield where the lines between chemistry and humanity are blurred and the victims and enemies share the same title. No matter who you are if you live on planet earth the war on drugs affects you either through psychological or physical addiction and dependancy based issues that have a wide reaching effect across the entire spectrum of society or because our most trusted public and private health providers are in oblivious to the notion that they might not only be ripping us off... but they could also be slowly killing us while we pay for the luxery. I am not an advocate for drugs but i am an advocate for harm minimisation and education. I have seen and experienced an overwhelming amount if pain caused not just these substances but the restrictions and poor regulation that has proven itself as ineffective and causing greater harm while ignoring the deeper issues that connect this problem to the rest of the problems the world faces this very instant. And so I am further inspired to continue my journey to stable sobriety and allow these experiences to serve as lessons to help others on their journey as well.

Right now we have this raw as fuck piece and I have to let it go for at least a day otherwise I might go insane perfecting this bad boy (im going to take some time with this one) So enjoy it in its raw infancy (i honestly cant stand it) before I cull the cheesy bits leaving only the finest mature vintage cheese for your ears to enjoy (that is also an original line and i am claiming it if no one else has). That and the flow needs heaps of tuning because it pops once it gets going and i want it to roll the whole way through but i keep making small edits and yeh I need that break haha. I really like where this is heading but maybe I am just giddy to have some words coming back into my life after and during a time of darkness. I was worried a part of myself was about to be lost and its a great relief to have that feeling come back strong.

And to my close friend and favourite fan who knows who they are. Please also know that I am very sorry and I miss you dearly. I hope you enjoy this poem in progress

Drug malfixiation creates a paradoxical relationship with the truth

Unfortunately the law doesn't always reflect the truth

Some lawful truths are built on a foundation of criminal misunderstandings

And some truths are so wrong they can not possibly be right

So what happens to people when their relationship with a particular truth threatens to expose them in an unforgiving world

How can we accept the phantom of an honest life while we are lead by the faults of our misgivings towards dishonoured hand shakes

Sculpting delusions to sleep inside these delusions we sculpted somewhere out of touch

As we press each other for so much for truth we fall under our weight of of our chests as they break

Forgotten is a beauty found entangled in the pearling of white lies and honest tests of faith

Blackened with protection and providing for redemption covered up with labels for conceptions

A journey started early will find no comfort if its late

Feeding rot stained paint into finite graves and turning powder into cakes

Left to learn from our mistakes and find safety in misdirection

Spinning up he stories told to find the pride we lost in honour and rejection

We find so much fault in failing because we succeed so much at decaying

We created extremes so separated we rarely see the child inside the adult or the human inside the crime

Following poisoned code written by the rot of skeletons who found taste in twisting adolescent minds

Who paid more for the gifts and curses of flesh and bone then keeping the words they scribbled on notes

Leaving the bitter taste of sitting on a throne when we gave up a priceless stream for the price of dams and because sometimes we only listen to what we think know

Strangling mountains for throw away vouchers to a life built by choices we mistook for power

Giving gifts to ill made saints we cry for pity and shed no tears for

Without proper education or dignified incentive

With little sense and heavy dollars

We are rewarded for chocking oceans

From a lifestyle that leaves a trail of orphans

Brought economy is a game that turns men into mouses and women into closets

People do drugs

To swim in the feelings that where stolen

In ways that make my heart sing

In ways that make mt heart weep

And in ways that make my heart bleed

Amplified by a scale so large we can no longer read the details that we need

Stolen by the wants we did not breed

The birthing if our choices is a fantasy that must fail to be conceived

Detailed by the extent of deceit and decency

And met by the breadth of charity when life mistakes our curse for our misery

To make cures we have to balance the toxicity

From the greed that burns through knowledge and turns suffering to mystery

So we cannot see

Only we could

Speak the ghost that haunts truths we lay for paths to foiled treachery

And fly without the boats we sail in births with ideal tendencies

Blind to brittle brutes who fight for empty souls

Masked by fractured glass we are freed by misplaced fools and fractured entities

The carless tracks we paint behind we hope might haunt they who gave more truth to pennies

While we drown in lost gold turning fire into frozen electricity

Atoms into farms and symbols into tools for blood tied by rope dripped in kerosene

Leaving scars on mastered tempered brass so large our warmth lost the moment we let the cold in

Shivering in denial when the mind drys up from being buried by a breaths so heavy it turns the tide

Where matter matters most is when it can be a ladder that we can climb

Before we forget we forgot how to die

[machin3gir1]

u void lyrics

the blood inside the fortress dancer still at home  living with the ashes spent her last paycheck getting  blasted stealing cigarettes and fake  lashes local singles looking for some action fragile hes an ex cop without a saddle always so polite and tactful true intentions hidden like a  phantom the beginning of the end of this cancer the blood inside the fortress vicous at her place getting down to business left hand rubbing on his pigskin everything goes black in an instant waking up in his own sweat and sickness morning got a scalpel underneath your foreskin goldilocks is making you some porridge summoning your insides to the surface lilith born in the blood inside the  fortress  the blood in the fortress having sex in  your dissected corpse the forces i do it for the children i do if for the thrill i do it cuz i like it cuz i was born to kill pigs

a ring of fire this must be hell a coiled scorpion stung by its tail fetal position poisoning myself my corpse is lying in a roach motel self destruction or self defense teach me the method perforate my head self destruction or self defense isolation the creature I’ve become centipede circling serpentine part of me forcibly surfacing part of me sobering sorcery artery murdering therapy blood let save me dried up fading away give me the womb give me the cure losing my vision mental cataracts almost feeling than my mind attacks psychic leeches tell me im a hack cut me open while im on my back self destruction or self defense teach me the method perforate my head self destruction or self defense isolation the creature ive become  blood let save me dried up fading away give me the womb give me the cure give me death

im a deer in the headlights im a deer  in the sheets im the deer and the headlights im the rotting corpse in the street smoking bed bugs then we fuck out of focus i can’t wake up i die in wet dreams i hate your love so i ate your soul like a succubus fight or flight sexlife do or be did we fuck like were being held hostage im fucking exhausted we fuck like were being held hostage im fucking exhausted we fuck like were being held hostage the neighbors are watching we fuck like were being held hostage the neighbors are  killing me im a thorn in your pocket i am dread summon my demons under your breath i see two paths and choose the left when im in love i break my neck fight or flight sexlife do or be did we fuck like were being held hostage im fucking exhausted we fuck like were being held hostage the neighbors are watching we fuck like were being held hostage im fucking exhausted we fuck like were being held  hostage the neighbors are  killing me touching me pleasing me heresy enemies feeding me secretly part of me never seen all i need fantasy killing me im a deer in the headlights im a deer  in the sheets im the deer and the headlights im the rotting corpse in the street im a deer

our tyrants suffocate what’s in your lungs nazi scum suffocate what’s in your lungs nazi scum ugly fucker karma  suffer reign is ending fortress destroyer get on your knees fortress destroyer i want to watch you bleed fortress destroyer kill pigs plant seeds suffocate what’s in your lungs nazi scum

my ugliness is not my  fault i know god just made me wrong bang my head against the wall i hate myself the more you talk wear me out  turn me on grab the knife grab the salt fuck my head until its raw youre taking over all my thoughts fake it online make It offline is it all just smoke and mirrors am i victim of your theater retribution for your bliss i consumed it all just like a tick youre me improved it makes me sick you turn my heart into a fist you need to know how i have felt ill drag you down with me to hell fake it online make it offline you thrive while i die ill thrive when you die  i can’t look away go ahead call the police i stayed within the policies study social alchemy manifest imposter dreams more of you is all I need a fix of your reality ill get mine you will see  and climax leaving you on seen  fake it online make it offline you thrive while i die ill thrive when you die  i can’t look away

i see your guts but see no passion your inside out viscera fashion shibuya meltdown tokyo plastered 7 am still huffing plasma system purge stop smoking dirt in the synapse the terror lurks juggle poison and fireworks dance with the devil and die with a smirk ill rot and fuck up my life but i thrive inside thie terror i am a wasted universe i am not a lost cause watch me splatter life is a dream i spit out teeth south of the border im at peace in the pit the fire breather solders the nexus of global freaks system purge stop smoking dirt in the synapse the terror lurks juggle poison and fireworks dance with the devil and die with a smirk

ill rot and fuck up my life but i thrive inside the terror i am a wasted universe i am not a lost cause watch me splatter cannon fodder going harder its my calling sorry father ill rot drunk broke and happily living like im cannon fodder

let them in kill all borders imperial demise 2020 worldwide fucker kill all borders all nations must die

i light my wick in bondage laying in the pit i stay haunted the perfect fix the essence feel wax drip momentary heaven im slipping through the cracks so far down the rabbit hole another lantern comes crashing crashing down strike a match cover me with kerosene playing with fire i become the effigy suspended animation secret acts of desecration recursive immolation autoerotic decapitation scratching my skin until i bleed a tormenting itch that never leaves burn the temple down and  I’ll be free strike a match cover me with kerosene playing with fire i become the effigy i can hear the devil the speak why dont you run away with me

cut out
my eyes bleed out offline i talk to the mirror i communicate with the dead grave digging my psyche plunging the depths of my head abysslicker im never finished licking deeper the well is leaking conscious-sickness the void is creeping growing deeper so i shit meaning im fully in it now im fully in it i reach down my throat and remove the world and the planet reveals itself in its dying breath says i am hell fortress fucker eldritch shit kill em all be the nemesis shapeshifter the lord flayer a new religion the astral killer im fully in it now im fully in it im feeding off it im leeching off it im reeling off it im living off it out of nothing i shit meaning im fully in it now im fully in it

crushing your skull underneath my foot im finally free i take back my time, my soul and everything you stole from me find salvation underneath my golden shower i hereby banish you to the nether regions of this realm my world will forget the age you made it a living hell find salvation underneath my golden shower keep my my name out of your mouth you fucking coward suck my shit i removed your head and spine with a psionic blade cut you to pieces and left you in an unmarked grave find salvation underneath my golden shower keep my my name out of your mouth you fucking coward i don’t want  you on my dick so suck my shit suck my shit

what lies beneath like shit and bile only comes out when im alone i disappear step out of time come back with a little less of my soul silent forces psychic warfare my skin is flush and feels so warm temptations such a fucking war i numb myself so ill ignore thoughts that cut through me like a sword silent forces psychic warfare cut throat exposed hidden voices speak your mind for the first tim there’s a panic in my bones the horrors coming back i feel it in the cold  hammered golem sober collar in the street face downwhile the mountains getting taller howling like a gibbon headshot through the brick fracture in the forehead i self destruct in bliss batsu punished ill pretend till I’m dead sell out cash checks get mine before it ends all jelly limbs and no benefits self control my mortal enemy its getting hyperreal and time is catching up my enemies are moving in and i don’t give a fuck batsu punished ill pretend till I’m dead burn out tailspin my dreams are full of shit murder natural patterns bad habits pass through my bladder i spilled your blood nothing happened where’s my ticket up the ladder murder natural patterns bad habits pass through my bladder i spilled your blood nothing happened where’s my ticket up the ladder batsu punished ill pretend till I’m dead sell out cash checks get mine before it endsm batsu punished ill pretend till I’m dead burn out tailspin my dreams are full of shit

[spidony-starker]

Exposed.

How Tony and Peter’s sexual desires (and more) came out in the last way Peter expected. But he isn't complaining ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

A bit of angst, alcoholism, and toxicity, with lots of lust, humiliation, and a tiny bit of weird realism end fluff.

It was finally evening after a long day of working in Tony’s workshop. On days like this, Peter stayed the night in his own room, and he couldn’t be happier to flop onto his computer chair. He had one little problem, a problem that disturbed him for hours. As he sat there he wasted no time in sliding his hand down his pants.

   Throughout the day he attempted to sneak away every chance he had, he only needed a minute, just a damn minute, but Tony wouldn’t let him. He always needed something right as he pulled away, something magically urgent when it didn’t seem like a big deal to the boy.

   He would find himself pushing against the table corner, struggling to keep desperate whines from escaping his lips. The perplexed look Stark gave him every time he groaned made his heart skip with fear.

   “Nnnn..” Peter’s breath hitched as he gripped himself with his fingers. It was typical for Tony to drink after long days, Peter figured he’d be passed out soon enough. “Ahhh, shit..”

   Peter pushed at his pants till they slid down his strained thighs, his hand frantically working at his leaking cock. “Ohh god, god, g-god! S-shit, Mmm-! Mr. Stark!” Peter slapped a hand over his mouth, praying his shout wasn’t heard. “Fuck…”

   Peter froze in horror at the sound of creaking floorboards, flipping his body as he yanked his pants. After a few moments, the doorknob of his door twisted. Petrified, Peter swiveled the chair, still gripping onto the waist of his jeans.

  As the door opened, Tony stood there, a slight frown on his otherwise nonchalant face. One hand rested in his pocket while the other held a glass of whiskey. Peter remained frozen, his chest heaving. How long was he out there!?  “U-uhhh, hey, Mr..uh..uh.”  Tony leaned against the frame and tilted his head. “Really?” Peter’s lip quivered. “Mr. Star-”

   “Really? You scream Mr. Stark when you jack yourself to me? Really?” Peter swallowed nervously and recoiled as if he were being hit. “Uh..”

   “Why don’t you just say Tony for fucks sake?” Peter’s expression changed to a confused frown as he tilted his head. “W-wait, what?”

   “You’re always so formal, I just thought every time you touched yourself you’d actually say my name.” Tony’s words slurred drunkenly.

   Peter’s face burned red with extreme embarrassment. “Uh Mr- I-I don’t know what to do here. Y..you knew!?”

   “You think I don’t see your little pants tighten whenever we’re together, and how you run off for a good two minutes and come back like you just took opioids? Of course I knew. And I was sick of it.

   Yeah, I was just waiting till you couldn’t contain yourself, I was gonna wait till you tried to slip away and force you to hand me a wrench or some shit, anything to keep you waiting till you damn near jizzed yourself.”

   Peter was speechless. “It’s not like you had it easy and I wanted to make it harder for you, you’re not the only one with a problem kid. It’s not the best thing in the world that I want to rip the clothes off of, throw on a table, and fuck and ravage a sixteen year old kid raw till he’s nearly bleeding.”

   “O-oh my god…” Peter fidgeted uncontrollably, clasping his hands over his ever growing member. “I have morals kid and they’re micro sized when put next to this shit. But it must be so easy for you, oh, getting your dick wet over you’re “hot af mentor”, yeah I saw that golden little line in that journal of yours

   Oh no, that’s perfectly okay, being a little slut for a fifty-two year man.” While he spoke he walked into the room till he was nearly looming over Peter. As his voice got louder Peter could see a large protrusion forming in his pants.

   The mixture of fear, excitement, and not knowing what the fuck was going on made him tremble uncontrollably. It was like he was thrown headfirst into a suffocating dream. This allowed him to be able to even look at Tony, his eyes half lidded as his heart thumped wildly. It even allowed him to speak regardless of the complete shame.

   “You knew...um..this entire time? You..read my writing? Morals? Really? That’s a joke, Mr. Stark. And...and maybe I call you Mr. Stark because it reminds me how much of an old man you are, considering I’m a “slut” for one and all.”

   Tony’s eyes widened slightly as his jaw visibly tightened. Peter felt like he was gonna pass out, but continued anyway. “And, to be fair, if you have enough morals to want to fuck an innocent sixteen year old boy who you happen to mentor and get really close to on a day to day basis, and to read his own journal..

   How come you’ve never..swept them away and...and fucked me already? If you knew I wanted it so bad? Why not do it? It should be like swatting a fly, right? It…” Peter stopped. Tony gripped his glass so hard his fingers turned white, his eyes dark like black fire.

   Oh shit...I really fucked up. He’s gonna kill me, he’s really gonna kill me. Tony nearly lunged at Peter, his glass shattering on the floor as he grabbed him like he weighed nothing, roughly holding onto his small body.

   Peter yelped in surprise as his limbs went completely stiff. “M-mr. Stark, please, I’m sorry, what are you-” Tony took a few steps before tossing the body onto the bed. Peter crumpled before pushing himself against the wall, looking up at Tony with giant doe eyes filled with sexual desire strangled by fear.

   The scent of alcohol emanated off the angry man. As Tony looked down at him, a smirk had formed on his lips while he crossed his arms. “Innocent? Really? Innocent boy? I think not, I think that’s horse shit. If your so innocent why did I find what I found?

   Why do you sneak away to fuck yourself? Why do you spend every waking minute you can with me, why do you breathe so deeply, and why do you want to be destroyed by an old man? To have any shred of dignity after asking why I haven’t fucked you yet? You may as well be begging me on your knees!

   You’re already doing it in your head, and with that little body of yours as you stick your ass out after “dropping” something, yeah, I saw that too. This entire time. You should just take a pen and write “fuck me” on your forehead, it’d be damn near as apparent as what you’ve already shown me.”

   Before Peter could speak, Tony leaned forwards and gripped his jaw, making him jolt. The roughness of it ached while the whiskey on the man’s breath stung his nose.  “Nnn, please! Tony, y-you’re drunk.” Tony laughed harshly and shook his head.

   “Don’t be stupid. I’m not doing this because I’m drunk, Peter. I drink because of how I feel for a kid. It kills the guilt, until it doesn’t, and then I drink more. Problem solved, right?” A terrible feeling washed over Peter. “You’ve been drinking again..because of me?”

   “Don’t give yourself all the credit.” Peter frowned. “No but- but..I’m sorry.” Tony gritted his teeth. “Don’t pity me Parker.”

   “I’m not! I-I just.” Tony covered his mouth. “Enough.” Peter whimpered and twisted his head. “T-tony…” Tony bared his teeth.

   “There it is, there’s my name. Say it again.” Peter’s brows furrowed pitifully. “Tony…” Tony snickered. “You’d do anything for me, I can see it. Anything, except be truthful. Calling yourself innocent, ha! Fucking hilarious, that’s a joke. Just like my morals, just like you said, hm?”

   Peter shook, his entire body icy cold and heated like fire at the same time. “I-I would, I’m sorry! Im-”

   “Ah ah ah.” Tony tilted Peter’s chin up with his fingers while his other hand pushed him against the wall. “No more lies. Tell you what, we can end this now. If you tell the truth this time, right now, then maybe your little degenerate wishes will come true. And older men don’t lie right? Not like little boys do?

   Sneaky little boys who think they’re as slick as their wet dicks?” Peter felt tears in his eyes, making them shine with fear. In his pants his cock hardened and swelled so painfully the slightest touch would send him over the edge screaming. All he could do was nod.

“Okay sweetheart. Just answer these questions truthfully, understand? I want you to speak clearly, no bullshit. Any lie, anything you hide, and you’ll regret it.”

    He let his hand slide onto Peter’s neck where he gripped it firmly. “I’ll touch you with my fingertips but you won’t be cumming for a week, got it?” Peter nodded again, brisker this time.

   Tony smiled devilishly. “Okay. First off, you wrote all about how desirable I was, yes? All the things you’d let me do to you? In the little book you’d carelessly or purposely leave open on the workshop table?” Peter grimaced and tightened his lips, nodding slowly.  “Remember the rules, say it.” Peter hesitated. “Y-yes…”

   “Good, now, did you touch yourself all those times you’d run away with a hardon? Because you’re little libido couldn’t handle standing next to me?”

   “Nnn, y...yes.” A small tear fell from the corner of his eye. “And did you really try to tempt me and lure me like some kind of whore?” Peter shook and struggled not to recoil. Within seconds of silence Tony took his hand and jabbed between Peter’s legs, causing him to nearly wail.

   “Yes! Yes I did! I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I just wanted you to see me...I wanted to make you feel things like I did, I was desperate, I-”

   Tony cut him off. “Next question. Are you a sneaky little slut?” Peter whined as the tears kept falling. “Yes…”

   Tony pressed his hand against Peter as his volume raised. “Who wants me to fuck the life out of you?”

   “Nn- yes!” Tony inched closer. “To submit  like I own you? To repay me for what you’ve done while you lived your fantasy?”

   “Yes, Yes! Please, Tony, yes!” Tony tilted his head and grinned. “Last one. You’re being a really good boy right now, even though I’m basically wrenching it out of you.” He paused a moment.

   “Do you want me to fuck you right now? Actually, heh, wait, don’t answer. I already know the answer, it’s a bit of a reoccuring theme. I want you to ask me, no, I wanna hear you beg for it.”

   Tony began to roughly massage Peter’s throbbing erection. “A-ah! God..nn, Tony please-”

   “Please whattt?” Peter squeezed his eyes shut. “P-please! F-f…” Tony used his free hand to point at the door. “I just remembered, I have some work left to do that’s pretty important, maybe I should do it, do you think so~?”

   “Fuck! Dammit! Fuck me, Fuck me Tony! God, please...” Tony’s eyes lit up as his cock twitched in his pants. Animalistic, he grabbed Peter by the shoulders and pushed him against the mattress, gripping onto his wrists so his arms stretched out.

   “You made me wait so fucking long, Peter. It took every ounce of my consciousness not to slam you onto my fucking work table!” Peter twisted, wanting so badly to cover his red face. As he looked at Tony his eyes were half lidded and cloudy.

   “Nn..I... wish you would have. You made me wait too.” With that Peter lifted his head and roughly pushed his lip’s into Tony’s, the sweet taste of scotch coating his tongue.

   Tony’s hands slid away from Peter’s wrists so they could grip his face, the older man pushing the boy’s head down with the pure force of his lips as his tongue slid right into his mouth.

   Peter moaned, Tony’s taste was driving him crazy. While Tony’s hands began to wander down his shirt, Peter’s hips bucked as he desperately tried to push himself into Tony.  

   “Mmmff-Tony, please, mmm-! Mm-want you!” Tony pulled away and looked down at him as he roughly thrust against his groin. “Yeah?”

   “Mm-hmm!” Tony pushed himself upwards, stopping a moment to admire the absolute mess beneath him. As he straddled the boy, he ripped his shirt off, throwing it aside. Peter’s nipples were completely hardened, his pale skin pink.

   As he pulled Peter’s pants, Tony bit sharply at his nipple, causing him to whine. He then trailed his tongue all the way down Peter’s torso, stopping as he yanked his jeans down.

   “My, my, look at this.” Tony slid his fingers under the waistband of Peter’s boxers. “Did I really do this to you?” The man licked his lips. “I could breath on it and you’d cum. Hopefully you don’t pass out after what I do to you.”

  Peter’s dick bobbed at the throaty growl of his voice. The older man really meant it. Tony slowly slid the fabric down inch by inch until finally Peter’s cock bounced into sight. The deep pinkness of it glistened with moisture while precum leaked heavily and dripped down the length.

   As Tony took his shirt off, Peter’s breathing quickened. “Oh fuck…” The boy couldn’t help himself as he slid his hands up Tony’s muscular figure, gripping tightly with his fingers. Tony smirked and grabbed his hands.

   “I’ll be nice enough to ask for this, you’ll thank me later. Grab lube.” Peter tilted his head, barely able to hear Tony’s words through his haze. “What?” Tony motioned to the bedside drawer. “Lube, now, or you’ll be torn in half.”

   “O-oh, right.” Peter twisted his body, ignoring Tony’s knowledge of the contents of his drawer, and grabbed a sleek silver bottle. Tony grabbed it from him, wasting no time in squirting the liquid onto his fingers. He then positioned himself so he crouched below Peter.

   “I take it you’ve never been fucked up the ass before, besides doing it yourself?” Peter tightened his lips. “Y-yeah…”

   “Alright, well I’ll go slow for you, at first. You’ll warm up quickly.” With that Tony took a slicked finger and pressed the tip against Peter’s tensed entrance. “Nn..” Peter gripped tightly onto the sheets.

   Slowly, Tony allowed his finger to slide in. His demeanor became a bit softer and more diligent. “How’s that, good?” Peter shivered and nodded in response. Once the full length of his finger was in, he curled the tip before sliding out.

   With rhythm he continued these movements as Peter squirmed, his opening becoming slicker and less tight. “Alright, now two.” Tony pressed his fingers together and pushed them in, stretching Peter as he thrashed about. Tony was becoming slightly impatient. “Three…”

   “Nnngh shit-!” Peter’s skin burned with the repeated rubbing, pushing his lower body upwards into Tony’s large, rough fingers. The pain, the stinging, it caused his vision to blur. When Tony finally took them out, he wiped them off and grinned at Peter.

   “Okay, I think you’re nice and ready.” Tony leaned back and fiddled with his belt, sliding it out and tossing it before unbuttoning his pants. Once those were off, all he had left was his thin boxers, the front of them soaked.

   Peter whimpered in anticipation, realizing he hadn’t seen the man’s dick before, regardless of wanting it so bad.The boy lifted his head to see as subtlety as he could. Tony smirked and gripped the fabric and peeled it down, allowing his cock to be fully exposed.

   Peter’s heart leaped as he dropped his head back onto the mattress and squeezed his eyes shut. God, he was huge. Tony beamed as he could see what he could do to the boy. It was definitely boosting his ego.

   The man bit his lip, adjusting his position so he laid against Peter. One hand grabbed the boy’s hip, while the other reached down to grip his length so it lined up to Peter’s opening.

   As the warmth of his tip prodded, Peter mewled and clasped his hands over his mouth. Tony rose his eyebrows and grinned. “It’s funny how it all worked out, we both got what we wanted in the end.” The man laughed as he dug his nails into Peter’s soft flesh.

   “Tony...please for the love of-” Tony took the boy’s hands from his mouth, leaning down so he was only inches away. “What? I can’t hear you.”

   “S-stop stalling! I’m not the only one being tortured here, y-you said it yourself, you want it! Come on!” Tony tilted his head, still gripping Peter’s hands in only one of his. “Ah, but ‘torturing’ you is a luxury.” Tony pushed against him.

   “Nngg- Tony! I already asked, please. F-fuck...” Tony released the boy’s hands so he could firmly grab both of his hips. “So demanding…”

   “Tony!” The man bared his teeth. “That’s Mr. Stark to you you little slut.”

    Before Peter could retort, Tony thrust forwards with pure animosity. Peter’s breath hitched as he gasped. “A-ah, h-holy shit!” The painful sensation quickly bled and ignited into pleasure.

   Tony couldn’t hold back anymore. As he finally entered the boy he couldn’t tease, couldn’t go “slow”, all he could do was relentlessly pound the life out of him. Peter arched his back, a moaning, babbling mess.

   “Ngh, jesus T-tony!” Tony looked down with dark eyes as he slammed into him. “What did I say?”

   Peter whined and scratched at the sheets. “B-but-! You wanted me to say your- nnng..name!” Tony leaned down and gripped Peter’s face in his hands. “Mmm..I don’t know what’s better, fucking you or fucking with you.”

   Peter frowned and stuck his lip out. “Y-y-you’re an ass..!” The boy sloppily pushed his lips into the man’s, moaning in his mouth as his tongue slipped in. Tony grabbed his soft lower lip between his teeth, his fingers entangled in Peter’s hair, thrusts becoming more frenzied. “Ngh..Fuck..Peter..”

   Tony slid a hand down and gripped the boy’s cock in his hand, roughly massaging it in his fingers. Peter threw his head back. “F-fuck..so good, Ah-! Yes, Tony, yes!”

   The kid’s mewling, needy moans were driving the man crazy as he pounded right against Peter’s sweet-spot. “Nn, right there! Tony Tonyyy.” Peter wrapped his legs around the man.

   An electric warmth sped through his body. “Tony-! Close…!” Tony groaned. “Hah..hmm..?” Peter tightened his grip. “I’m..gonna, ngh!” Tony’s frantic pace indicated he was too. The man removed his hand and dragged the wetness up Peter’s body so it was back in his hair, tugging it.

   As Peter felt complete ecstasy wash over him he grabbed the man’s face in his hands, his eyes wide and hazy as he locked them with Tony’s. “Ah ah ah! I-I’m cum-nnh! I..I love you~!”

   Peter kissed the man, his cum squirting onto his stomach, it’s sticky warmth smearing between their bodies. Tony’s pace quickened furiously, his breath heating Peter’s neck as he squeezed him in his arms.

   “F..fuck, fuck!” The man hissed and gritted his teeth as he came, filling Peter’s throbbing body. “A-ah..Tony..!” Peter whimpered, the prolonged sensations suffocating his convulsing body. Tony collapsed, both their breathing heavy and bodies hot.

                                                                  ***

    Moments passed before Tony lifted himself and pulled out, groaning as his cum poured from the boy.

   Rather than cleaning the mess, he rolled over so he laid next to Peter. For a few minutes neither spoke, till finally Tony turned on his side so he could eye the satisfied mess that was Peter.

   “Wow…” Tony grinned. “Hmph, I’ll say. You might be a little sore.” The boy groaned. “Oh man…” Tony laughed and shook his head. He then leaned forward and scraped up some of the mess from Peter’s stomach, rubbing it between his fingers.

    “So how was it, as ‘awesome’ as you imagined?” The man’s tone was teasing. Peter’s skin turned red once more as he covered his face. “Uh, yeah. There was no way I could have even..that was..I, um, good. It was good.”

   Tony scoffed. “Hah, loss for words? But you were so out of your shell just minutes ago, what happened? Shouting lots of pretty words.. Well, parts of them.” Peter frowned. “But, there is one thing you said..”

   Peter grumbled. “Nnnnh….” Tony leaned forwards, sweeping Peter’s hands away before tilting his head so the boy looked at at him. Peter squeezed his eyes shut.

   “Peter, look at me.” Reluctantly, Peter slowly opened his eyes. “Why’d you say that?” Peter frowned as his heartbeat quickened. Why did I say that, I’m such an idiot.

   “Say what..? Please don’t make me talk about it..” Tony rolled his eyes. “That you love me.” Peter winced. “Um…b-because…”

   “Is it true?” Peter recoiled, pulling away from the man’s hand. “I..yeah..ugh, I’m sorry.” The boy rubbed his face. “I shouldn’t have said that. I thought it was obvious..I know it’s dumb..”

   Tony furrowed his eyebrows. “What, so you think you’re some kind of fucktoy now?” Peter’s eyes widened, filled with glassy hurt. 

     Tony’s face softened. “Kid, don’t look at me like that. I’m not some playboy.” Peter frowned. “Tony…”

   At times like this, the boy couldn’t handle the older man’s wry sarcasm. “Okay okay, look, how long have we been working together? Months? How often are you here? Kid, you got your own room.”

   “Yeah, but..I’m just…” Tony tilted his head. “Hmm?” Peter shook his head. “How does that matter? Just cause you wanna fuck me doesn’t mean…”

    The man sat up. “Pete...okay, I’m sorry. I know I was drinking, I know I’ve been drinking, I got carried away earlier, the alcohol didn’t help. That’s something I need to figure out. Sorry for probably scarring you, reading your shit, invading your privacy, everything. But, it’s not like I’d take a kid’s virginity if..” He rubbed the bridge of his nose.

   “This entire time I’ve wanted to do this just as badly as you. The rest...it’s a bit harder for me to admit, I know. It should be. But It’s all wrong. Look, sexual feelings can be closed off for a responsible adult. Even if the other gives blatant evidence they feel the same, even if they are constantly around you. The fact that you are literally a kid, underage, illegal, that puts a damper on things.

   That was more reason to shut it off. But, that’s not all there was. And that made it ten times worse. But I really put myself under when I followed you after working today, I knew what you were gonna do as soon as you got here, and fuck, you did it. I heard you for the first time. And, well, you know what happened from there.

     I’d like to say I have dignity and any sort of self control. Besides every terrible thought to now, I’ve held it together, with booze and muted insanity as my glue. But It doesn't matter now.”

   Peter tilted his head. “So...y-you…” Tony sighed. “Just..come here.” Tony stretched his arms and pulled Peter into his grasp so the boy laid his head against his lap. “God, Pete, do I need to spell it out?

   I would never have done this if I didn’t.. feel this way. Who do you think I am? But, it’s still an issue. A gigantic issue. You want me to scream it from the rooftops? Get arrested?”

   Peter pouted slightly as he looked up at the man. “Yes…” Tony rolled his eyes before taking Peter’s face in his hands, kissing the boy. “You...are an amazing kid. And I enjoy your company..more than I have anyone else’s in a long time. And it’s fucked up, and you’re so fucking smart, and perceptive, and you control me when you don’t even know it. And sometimes when you do know it. The fact that a sixteen year old impresses me, and does this to me, it doesn’t make any damn sense. None of it does and yet here I am.”

    Tony rubbed his face and sighed. “I’m in love with a kid. Jesus..happy? You realize how bad this is right?” Peter’s heart fluttered as his lips curled into a smile. “Yes.”

    “Pff. Who would have thought it’d end like this, hmm? Not too long ago you looked like you were gonna piss yourself. Again, I’ll admit, I got a little carried away.”

     The boy lifted himself and flopped down onto the man’s lap. “A little? Yeah right. You went crazy.” Tony smirked. “How can you blame me? Watch it, it might happen again. But I bet you wouldn’t mind.” Peter glared at him as his skin flushed.

    “So..what would have happened if I didn’t say what I did?” Tony shrugged. “Who knows, don’t think about it.”

    “Well...what are we gonna do now?” Tony sighed. “I don’t know kid. But what I do know...” He traced his hand down the boy’s spine before grabbing onto his hip. “..Is that I can get used to this.”

    Peter shivered. “Tony..!” He grumbled and pushed his head against the older man’s chest, holding onto him with tight arms. “Me too...”

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I’m a bit obsessed with doing Tony’s dialogue.

Also I wrote this from like 2-4 AM, so I apologize for any mistakes.