#Like how horrified must she have been when Luke told her the truth in rotj

[agirlunderarock]

Spoilers for Episode 3 of Obi-Wan Kenobi under the cut

I'm just having a lot of thoughts about Leia tonight guys

I-

I watched it early in the morning and I was not okay. I wanted to SCREAM several times. I almost cried when Leia asked Obi-Wan if he was her real dad- and thats really what I want to talk about in this post. I know it was visually and emotionally upsetting to see Anakin dragging Obi-Wan through the fire (even if before he got dragged, I had to pause it the moment Anakin started the fire to fucking laugh because Anakin literally just never stops being a fucking petty drama queen- then I was screaming into a pillow in horror), but I want to talk about how all of this is going to look to Leia.

Leia doesn't know who her real parents are. She straight up asked Obi-Wan if he was her father. She's probably vaguely heard of Vader at this point, he's the right hand to the Emperor, how could she not. She doesn't think much of it, until she's with Obi-Wan, until she sees the absolute fear and anxiety in this tired old man's eyes. She sees fear in a jedi, a jedi who she probably heard a few stories about from her father, a jedi who the galaxy seems to agree is untouchable. This larger than life jedi who is so broken and twisted by circumstances she can't even imagine at this point, but the moment she sees that fear, sees that anxiety whenever Vader or his inquisitors are brought up, she knows it has something to do with them. Her first impression about her biological father is that he is a MONSTER. Of course Leia doesn't know that Vader is her father, how could she? But over 10 years later, her twin brother is going to end up telling her, the truth. I just- The first time she really encounters Vader is in this episode. She knows he's after a man who has protected her and done everything he possibly could to keep her safe and know she understands why Obi-Wan was so afraid, and hesitant. She sees Vader dragging people out of their homes just to kill them to get to Obi-Wan. Reva kiddnapped her to get to Obi-Wan, she has no doubts that Vader would kill her to get to Obi-Wan. When she eventually sees Obi-Wan again, sees the burns and scars, she's going to know Vader did it. He won't have to say it, she knows. Who else could have done it but someone who has no value for any kind of life. Vader becomes the monster that would haunt her through out her life. He might never recognize her, might not ever see her, but she's going to feel that same twist of fear and maybe even anger whenever she hears about him for the next 9 years. Theres no doubt in my mind that seeing this, adds fuel to her fire when she gets older, when she actively takes part in the rebellion.

I just- I have to wonder if part of why Leia didn't complete her jedi training is because she could also feel Anakin still in the force. Like we're just uncovering some child trauma for her involving Vader in this series, but then she's taken captive 9 years later, watches her crew get slaughtered by Vader, they interrogated/tortured her (I assume given that the same probe was used on Rex in rebels and it sounded like he was being tortured), held her back to force her to watch the destruction of her planet, killed the only other person who made her feel loved and safe aside from her family in front of her, tortured a man she was falling in love with and again made her watch while afore mentioned man was frozen and sold to bounty hunters, saw the after math of him fighting he man she'd realize is her twin brother- only to list the things in the movies. But like, I know the reason she stopped her training or something had to do with seeing the death of her son at the end of her journey or something right- and that was a lot to deal with. But I also imagine Anakin tried to communicate with Leia a lot in the force, she could still feel him when she drew on the force. How could she want a connection to man who's haunted her nightmares for so long, the man who caused her so much pain over the course of her life? For nearly all her life she's known him to be a monster.

I like to imagine hat Anakin, maybe even Luke try to get her to soften up, but Leia can't let go of that. LIke if you've heard Requiem from dear evan handson- the ending part all feels like Leia's attitude

Why should I play the grieving girl and lie Saying that I miss you And that my world has gone dark without your light?

Who the hell was Anakin Skywalker to her? She never knew him. She might have heard stories about him every once in a while, but I guaranee he was a secondary character to Padme Amidala.

'Cause when the villains fall, the kingdoms never weep No one lights a candle to remember No, no one mourns at all When they lay them down to sleep

So, don't tell me that I didn't have it right Don't tell me that it wasn't black and white After all you put me through Don't say it wasn't true That you were not the monster That I knew

Literally the only thing Leia has ever known Vader to be, is a monster. Even if he saved Luke, that doesn't mean she can forget the shit she went through because of Vader, all he destruction she witnessed because of Vader, all the pain she endured because of Vader. From the moment Vader walked into that town and started dragging people out of their homes, Leia was going to view him as a monster. Always.