#Like how I think he’s a people pleaser based off one single thing: him hiding the fact that he’s rude.

[arobraindead]

I have two fics planned that are in the simpliest way; henry comforting ralph. I am addicted, and I will write so many fics with that idea. C:

It's the role reversal. The idea of putting the both of them into the opposite roles that they usual fit themselves into. Ralph is the one always comforting Henry and Henry is used to being comforted by Ralph that making them do the opposite is fun to write.

Henry isn't used to comforting somebody all that often, sure he's had times where he's comforted Peter but not enough to stick a landing when it comes to it.

On the otherhand, Ralph has this... interesting guilt in his head that venting about his issues or even having issues in the first place is a bad thing for him to have.

I will say that the both of them do semi have a hard time being comforted but still... Henry is more used to it. A bit stiff when he is but eventually gets used to it. While Ralph would tilt his head in confusion if Henry even pulled that on him.. it's weird.

Secondly; Ralph (in canon) doesn't have much to work with (ik i've said this 200 times but it's true) so I gave him lore and issues (and a bit is due to his parents) but besides the point. I wanna expand on the lore I gave him lol. Make that boy angsty!!!

[mekorausada]

Amnesia:Memories Game Review

Spoilers Ahead..

This will be more simpler than my other reviews since I won't be discussing every single thing that happens in the routes. Honestly this shit is really long, for me it took 2 days to finish each route.

I personally really like Amnesia: Memories. This is one of the games where I refused to look at any spoilers despite my curious self and it was confusing and nerve-wracking. For the routes, I did Spades-Heart-Clover-Diamond-Joker. The usual recommendation I see is the one I played with Heart and Spades switched out. For the most spoiler free, I would maybe recommend Spades/Clover-Heart-Diamond-Joker. It doesn't really matter since the route and MCs past and personality can really change vastly between routes but I don't recommend Diamomd first since its really offputting and Heart spoils a bit of Diamond (Or makes you a bit curious). Joker is always last since you need to play all routes to unlock him. Now, time for route reviews.

Ikki Route (Spades)

i want to start with, I don't like Ikki. Ikki is a playboy who has the power of making any woman fall in love with him just by looking at his eyes but because of our main characterness, we are able to resist.

Let me just say that Ikki is a people-pleaser and frankly a coward. Hes far too afraid of hurting people even when these people are pyscho. Plus, he keeps switching between 'Oh woe me. I have this condition that makes girls obsessed with me.' and 'Look into my eyes.' Hes really confusing and his fanclub is overbearing. Honestly its really overwhelming to play this route because almost everyone hates you plus you have to hide your amnesia.

I think the good ending was good enough but it was a bit underwhelming however the fangirls get them comeuppance since trying to kill you. The normal ending was you moving away but (i assume) still in contact. There are 3 bad endings. One is him being angry that you hide your amnesia and not trust him even though hes your boyfriend which pisses me off. He knows himself that this is just a 3 month thing and its not like we're THAT close. The other is you being attacked by the fanclub and you're broken? mute I think then Ikki goes off to break those who broke you. Then the angst ending where you ultimately don't fall in love with Ikki and hes heartbroken (considers drowning himself). Hes fine I guess on his own but with his fangirls, hes irritating. (One thing that piques my interest is the terms of his condition. He displays when Sawa shows up that if they aren't looking at his eyes, they fall out of love with him. I'm just trying to figure out how these fangirls are still in love with him. Do they actually like him?)

Shin Route (Hearts)

Shin.. Honestly Shin is a great character and I love his route. Above all else, the MC's safety is the most important and he doesn't try to twist it like someone else ahem.. However his route is a whodunnit that starts as a quest to show Shin's innocence to revealing the ugly parts of some of our friends. As far as I know all of the characters are here in this route and Ikki hasn't wished upon a shooting star but Rika is still in love with him. I like the difference of Toma and Shin and the way they treat the MC to how they execute it (More about that later) and the use of memories in this route.

In the good ending, Toma confesses to his crime and turns himself in, MC and Shin live happy lives. In the normal ending, Shin breaks up with MC telling her that he'll have to make her fall in love with him again and compete with Toma again. Shin has 2 bad endings. Both of which, she dies. In one, before you can learn the truth, Toma puts poison in your drink and kills you. In another, you stay with Ukyo for the night (Or interact with Ukyo in any form during the night) and he kills you.

Kent Route (Cloves)

My biggest complaint is that the worlds are based on cards and there aren't any cards with clovers. I think they should name his route King because hes a fucking Chad holy shit. I loved Kent and his route, I liked him in the other routes and I was really excited to see him. He was absolutely lovely.

In his good ending, he gets accepted to study abroad and he takes the mc with him to London. I was so suprised in the ending when he was like 'Sorry to keep you waiting'. I was confused why until I realized it was because he was speaking English. In his normal ending, he still gets accepted but he doesnt bring the mc with him and they have to deal with long distance. Kent has 2 bad endings. One is him finding out you have amnesia and him bringing you to the hospital where your mind gets duller and you slowly forget everything. The other one is him not going to you after you've gotten into an accident, leaving you vulnerable to be practically kidnapped by Ukyo and you two jump of a building together (Or Ukyo pushes you off and jumps right after). How romantic.

Toma Route (Diamond)

Ugh.. Hey I like Yanderes just as much as the next guy but man. If you've heard of Amnesia: Memories in the past, you'll probably know just this one thing. That Toma is a yandere and/or locks you up in a cage. I came into Amnesia only knowing that and I thought 'Hey it can't be that bad, I've gotten through Boyfriend to Death' but I don't know what it is. I suspect its the mc lmao. The mcs attitude for this route is really irritating. Not that she has much of it anyways.

I mentioned this before about the difference between Shin and Toma. Its obvious that both of them want to protect and ensure the Mcs safety and both of them have very different ways of showing it that doesn't correspond with their personality. Shin is very cold, he insults the mc and its basically a tsundere however his methods of keeping the mc safe are very careful and he usually makes sure that its the best for her. Toma however is very warm, if you take a look at him at the other routes or even read the first parts of his route, you'll instantly feel safe with him but his methods of keeping you safe... questionable.

His good ending didn't feel like one. Toma takes down Ikki's fanclub and stop them from bullying the mc and Toma realizes that the mc has liked him this whole time and she forgives him. Im sorry but no?? Maybe the reason I was more pissed at this than I was at Boyfriend to Death despite it being more aggresive was because the mc never forgives or gives in to the li with consent as she should and the lis don't try to be sympathized with. The normal ending was good, Shin finds the mc in the house and he takes her with him and Toma disappears. I really like this one, but apparently the mc doesn't because she keeps talking about never being truly happy without Toma and I just wanna smack her in the face. Toma has 2 endings like everyone else except Ikkyu. One is him upgrading his defenses and keeping you in chains as basically a doll and you forgetting everything and the other is you running with Ukyo before he pushes you in a well where you die, peachy.

Ukyo Route (Joker)

From the past routes, the name Ukyo either leaves a bitter taste in your mouth or piques your interest. Which is understandable because Ukyo has done nothing but act strange and murder you. Honestly, I like Ukyo's character alot but I don't really like his route, its pretty boring ngl. Ukyo's route is really meta and focuses more on the lore plus halfway through you realize the whole world thing and you're just waiting for the action to start, there isn't much exciting interactions between Ukyo and the mc because Ukyo always runs away (Understandable). When he does spend a long time with the mc, its very fun. Its nice to spot the references to the past routes. (Ukyo telling you not to go near the well referencing one of Toma's bad endings, telling you not to go to the cabin Ikki's fanclub invites you to, reference obviously to Ikki's route).

Ukyo has 9 endings. 1 good, 1 normal and 7 bad. I liked his good ending alot, You go back to the normal world and both of you don't die plus usually the saddest part is Orion saying their farewell to the mc but we were able to see them and Nhil which made me very happy. In the normal ending, Ukyo disappears from the face of the earth and the mc doesn't know who Ukyo is. The mc is reunited with their friends but just can't shake this feeling that they're missing something.. someone. In all of the bad endings except one, you die because of Ukyo himself or because you didn't listen to Ukyo's warnings. In the one ending you don't die, you tell Toma that Ikki's fangirls were bullying you n' stuff. I was scared when Toma's eyes darkened. Obviously, if you haven't gotten the hint, Toma goes batshit again. I almost cried when I heard the cage creak.

Others

So I think a thing I really love are the dynamics and the side characters. The interactions between them are really the best. We've got Waka the absolute Chad and the best manager ever, he fucking carried the humor ngl. We've got the always tardy Sawa who never isn't our friend. We've got Mine who crosses between being a jealous boy-obssesed rival to one of our girlfriends and of course Orion, ever loyal and always tries to have our back. These guys carried it when the li themselves couldn't and for that they deserve a special wow.

Overall, Amneisa Memories is a nervewracking, suspenseful game and I totally recommend it.

[erlenmeyertrash]

Once you get this, you have to say five things you like about yourself, publicly. Then you have to send this to ten of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool).

positivity IS cool my dude. and i’m going to extremely challenge myself by finding the time i did this MONTHS ago (e o n s) and making myself do five OTHER things. because self positivity is hella cool. oh queso

…now i’m mad because i already used two of the ones i thought of uGH

alsO get ready for the ramblies under the cut because :) i :) like :) to :) talk :) it’s just me fleshing out each one for literally no other reason that the aforementioned/extremely obvious love of the ramblies

the shortened version is: 1. i like that i want to fill spaces; 2. i like that i have an independent self from other people or ideas; 3. i like that i can both talk and listen; 4. i like that i’m not afraid to speak in public; and 5. i like that i have a life plan

1. i like that i want to fill spaces. i like that i have this section of my bedroom wall covered in sticky notes and notecards of quotes that i like; i like that i have this burning desire to decorate my new bedroom/living room when i move (in august i caNT WAIT) with a tapestry and pretty curtains and throw pillows and little plant bowls. i like that when i get my first house i already know i want nice-smelling candles in like every room and shelves full of books and mementos and pictures lining a hall or a shelf or two. i love designing or rearranging or making a space feel clean yet lived-in, and i love that i love it. 

2. i like that i have an independent self from other people. in the past, i’ve been the type of person to mold my personality to certain groups- from like second or third grade all the way up to last year, i remember doing it. it’s happened in past relationships, too. it’s like ‘oh, this person seems to like when i showcase X aspect of my personality, better Do That All The Time Forever Around Them.’ it’s negatively affected me at times, whether it’s been changing my personality/viewpoint on things to something i now regret (the whole Being Mean And Eternally Sarcastic/Aloof Is Cool in middle/early high school deal) or simply exhausting me from trying to be something that i am, but not totally am (pretending to always be happy when that’s physically impossible to do, thereby ignoring negative emotions and never properly dealing with them). i’m forever clingy and an incessant people-pleaser, but it morphed into attempting to change or hide parts of who i was in order to keep people around. i’ve only recently been strongly attempting to change this part of me by forcing myself first to realize it’s okay to be who i am, even if parts can seem contradictory (being social one day and wanting to be a recluse the next). i’m in a relationship rn (for those of you who remember That God-Awful Drama With Snow White, yes, it’s still the jo bro, he’s p darn cool), and i decided right off the bat to throw caution to the wind and totally be my weird self around him with changing moods and steadfast ideas. sometimes it makes me uncomfortable when our opinions clash, or self-conscious when my brain tells me “oh, he’s going to get tired of you being like X, you need to not do that/not tell him when you feel like this,” but i think it’s helped me grow as a person and made us closer. i’ve realized people who care about you will understand you can’t always or never be/feel a certain way and they’re totally fine with it. b a s i c a l l y i like that i ‘found’ who i was and have learned to be more accepting of it. and yes i could keep going with this :)))))

3. i like that i can talk (woahhh never woulda guessed right) and listen. i used to always feel like (and was told by some people) i talked Too Much™ and never listened to people. it made me feel ridiculously self-centered and try and shut myself up or exclude myself from conversations for fear of shutting others out. the issue was that i did enjoy listening to people; i think, looking back, part of it was just my age/maturity level!! and wanting to say the Perfect thing to be accepted and fit in to whatever group. now, i think i’ve found a more healthy balance. i’m more aware of when it is and isn’t a good time to have a longer discussion; i’m more capable of not interrupting (or if i do, apologizing and holding my tongue, and knowing they’re not crucifying me for it). i’m also able (and love) to sit back and listen to someone ramble about something they feel strongly about or have a unique opinion on. i think i like this about me because i like being heard- so much to where i realize others probably also like it, and i appreciate that i’m able to accommodate it from both perspectives.

4. (a continuation of 3 but still its own thing) i like that i’m not afraid (or. well. no longer completely terrified) to speak in public. sure it can freak me out sometimes; but i was in a high school organization (mock trail anyone? yeah r i p) that forced you to basically perform an hour-long improv show that combined acting with wits and being able to think on the fly (all while wearing a gross suit. like. cmon.). i was in charge of freak fracking closing arguments, which- if you’ve ever watched a Lawyer Show- is the one at the end where they have to make a persuasive speech to the jury entirely based on what transpired in the case. since the events of the case always changed based on your opponent/judge/etc., i had to prepare this five-minute speech as the case was going (while being involved in the case itself as an attorney) and then, once the case was over, immediately present it to the jury of (Real Actual Adult) attorneys. the first few times i did it, i was so scared. but when you’re forced to do something outside of your comfort zone enough times, your comfort zone can morph to accept it (note!!! that this is not me telling you to force yourself far outside of your comfort zone. you don’t see me signing up for Cliff Diving Camp here). it helped me learn how to better carry myself; i can tell it helped my conversational and debating skills, especially with superiors or adults who are More Adultish than me. it helped me learn how to cope better with the jumble of nerves i (still) get before speaking to multiple people or crowds. 

5. i like that i have a life plan. i especially like that i can modify parts of said plan and still believe that i can reach my goals and be happy and content with my life. the current plan is survive these next two years of college, apply to pharmacy school, get into pharmacy school, kick pharmacy school’s butt, and then get a rockin, well-paying permanent job with decent hours so i can play with Oggo and buy him Every Single Toy That Exists In The Universe.

3 and 4 combined have helped me learn how to be more assertive with my thoughts and self(™) and know how to get what i want- which in turn forced me to learn what the heck i wanted, therefore leading into 2 and 5 and discovering 1. and writing all this has made me realize that while i do still have issues with self-confidence, i actually really do like parts of who i am. so thank you anon for this lil burst of confidence on this fine saturday morning ily ♡♡♡

[marjaystuff]

Elise Cooper’s Interview with Maisey Yates

Cowboy to the Core and Lone Wolf Cowboy by Maisey Yates are the latest in the “Gold Valley series.”  What these novels have in common, a Yates specialty, is showing how individuals make their own choices and can choose love over being broken. Both books delve into the lives of the Dalton brothers and how their father’s imperfection affected them regarding relationships.

Jamie Dodge is the heroine in Cowboy to the Core. She is the only girl in a male dominated life. During delivery, her mother dies leaving Jamie, her brothers, and father to be without a mother and wife. No one ever made her feel that it was her fault but she is guilt ridden. Because of that, she has worked harder than anyone to not be thought of as poor Jamie who lost her mother. Jamie built a real tough outer skin and sky-high walls around her heart, and hides her vulnerability with a streak of stubbornness that includes a sassy mouth. Feeling she always had to be “one of the boys,” she tried to ignore the feelings of loss for not having a female role model.

Deciding it is time to go out on her own, she accepts a job with Gabe Dalton to take care of his horses. Jamie has been around cowboys like Gabe her whole life. She won’t be fooled by his words or ways. She wants this job to prove herself and to save up to start barrel racing. As long as he listens to her ideas about the horses and their needs she thinks their relationship can be tolerable. As they work side-by-side, rivalry turns to friendship that turns to a blossoming relationship. Because of his father’s infidelities and the fact that his father sold Gabe’s horses out from under him, he is a very wounded hero.  Yet, when around Jamie his restlessness seems to be soothed. The story takes readers on a journey with Jamie and Gabe to see if they can find happiness with each other.

The other novel, Lone Wolf Cowboy, is in some ways a departure from the usual Yates’ storyline in that the heroine is broken.  Vanessa Logan is a recovering addict who once had a miscarriage and now finds herself pregnant, after a one night stand with Jacob Dalton. He has become a recluse since his friend’s tragic death, in which Jacob blames himself.

As a former EMT and a wildland firefighter, there’s no one Jacob Dalton can’t rescue, except himself. While working one night many years ago, he saved Vanessa’s life during a medical emergency, and they have never forgotten each other. But after Vanessa’s return to work as an art therapist to troubled youths Jacob feels a strong connection with her.  After finding out that she is pregnant from a lustful night, he does the right thing and asks her to marry him.  The problem is, will these two people allow their troubles to be put to pasture, or will they decide to remain isolated.

Both these books have very likeable characters that take the reader on a roller coaster ride with them.  Will they allow themselves to overcome defects and instead have a thriving relationship?

Elise Cooper: You seem to have a recurring theme about choices?

Maisey Yates: You can choose to be defined by what wounded you or to choose to grab hold to a new feeling. It comes down to love versus staying with something bad that happened.

EC:  Why did you write Jamie as a tomboy?

MY:  I have a soft spot for them as a type of heroine.  Probably because when I was younger I was that tough girl, the one who had friends who were boys. Jamie is the tough country girl type who is confident in what she is very good at.  She thinks she can handle almost everything.

EC:  You have an Annie Oakley quote at the beginning of the book?

MY: You are referring to the one, “I ain’t afraid to love a man.  But I ain’t afraid to shoot him either.” I came across it many times and had it in my mind. I put it in because this is what I was thinking about Jamie. The quote cemented for me the picture of Jamie.  She is practical, direct, tough, a straight talker, not apologetic, and sometimes a bit cocky.  She wants to realize her dreams.

EC:  How would you describe the hero, Gabe?

MY:  He is an older hero who knows his flaws. He is a little more emotionally aware than Jamie is.  I think he is at a different stage than she is.  Interestingly, he is making a move back home, while she is making a move away from home. In the beginning, they are in very different emotional spaces.

EC:  Horses seem to play an important role in a lot of your books?

MY:  Horses have personalities, much like dogs do.  My life long best friend is a phenomenal horse person, a professional who trains and sells horses.  Something I observed is that each horse has a different temperament.  It is important to match the personality of the horse with the personality of the person.  Some people cannot handle a high-spirited horse.

EC:  Each of the main characters has had family issues? First, talk about Jamie, please.

MY: She was raised by her dad and four brothers.  My mom was also raised by a single dad and brothers.  I remember my mom telling me she loved Mary Poppins so much because there was a woman who had influence over a family. Jamie, although she is not willing to admit it, is profoundly affected by the loss of her mom and never wanted to be a burden.  I enjoyed writing that she thinks she is OK but eventually lets herself decide to have some femininity.

EC: Gabe had a dysfunctional family?

MY:  There was a lot of emotion in his house as he was growing up, and a lot of it was toxic. His father, Hank, is so flawed, nice but selfish.  He was someone who wanted to live his life for that moment of happiness and never thought outside of himself. Gabe was the protector of his mother because his dad did not do it.

EC:  What about the relationship?

MY:  Both of them were profoundly affected by their childhood, which influenced the relationship.  Maybe they see themselves in the other person.  I do like stories like this with the age gap romance because they can learn from each other.  He watched her let down walls and be brave, while Gabe learned how to show vulnerability.

EC:  Lone Wolf Cowboy was a deviation from other stories in that the heroine is a dysfunctional character having to overcome addiction and a miscarriage and now a pregnancy?

MY: It is not the first time I have written a heroine getting pregnant out of wedlock.  I short changed my readers because I did not think anyone would want me to write Vanessa’s story.  She was a drug addict in a previous book and I thought people would not care if she got a happy ending. She had to make a lot of tough choices for herself.

EC:  Interestingly, Vanessa got pregnant because there was no safe sex?

MY:  I think if the guy doesn’t use a condom assume the girl will get pregnant.  I was told by an author friend of mine that during the 1980s this genre never had a conversation of safe sex.  I think compared to other mediums safe sex is included a lot in the romance genre. The first time I wrote an accidental pregnancy my editor said ‘I don’t know if we can have this because it is so irresponsible.’ My response, ‘people do a lot of stupid stuff when it comes to sex.’ When it comes to sex there are bad decisions made when it feels good in the moment. The editor I am working with now didn’t even blink.  Sometimes irresponsible behavior does occur because as adults we are not perfect.

EC:  What about the addiction?

MY:  I thought a lot about how I was going to write this. It is important to me to have an honest view of addiction so I talked to people that went through it. I wanted to write her story with compassion and made sure I never put her sobriety at risk. After all, romance is about hope and that everybody deserves love. I never wanted to be disrespectful to her struggles.

EC:  There is a powerful quote about death?

MY:  The quote is based on a firefighter I knew who passed away fighting a fire. I think a lot about him, off and on. The quote, “It leaves people who love that person behind. And it leaves a hole inside them that can’t be filled. It’s love that makes it matter… The tragedy of death was in the hearts that were left behind, and in the possibilities of life missed by those who were taken too soon.” I wrote this thinking of the repercussions of the people left behind.  I read a quote recently, ‘grief is terrible because the person you need to talk to about it isn’t here.” The more you care about that person the greater the loss.  

EC:  Please describe Jacob?

MY:  He is the middle child who is looking for his own purpose.  He wanted to fix everything.  I think he is a frustrated protector.  He is a wounded person, like Vanessa, who went through a lot.  

EC:  Vanessa’s sister Olivia was an interesting character?

MY:  She is totally me.  She and I have a tendency to hold everything together. Just as Olivia, I am a perfectionist, people pleaser, sometimes judgmental and inflexible.

EC:  You introduced a new character Aiden, who is a troubled youth?

MY:  I have plans for him, Dallas, and Violet, and will visit these younger characters as they grow up. Readers will also be able to see the other characters in the background and how they progressed.  I think Aiden learned something through the manual labor and realizes he can build something.  He has the chance to make different choices and I am pretty sure he will grow into a hero who becomes a cowboy.  

EC: Your next book?

MY: It is titled, Cowboy Christmas Redemption and will be out in September. It is the last book in the series.  The reason for the Christmas time setting is that not everyone is happy around the holidays.  I examined what is it like for someone who lost a husband, and a child who lost a father. When someone dies the tragedy is not theirs, but the person left behind.  I saved Caleb and Ellie’s story for last because they have the greatest journey to go.

THANK YOU!!