#Like despite all the bullshit he's put Edward through there's still trust and love in there

[leadandblood]

"i need to ask the four of you for a favour that will likely be a great imposition"

edward: this whole past year's been a fucking imposition

[p---ink]

Stark Contrasts Chapter Five

Author’s Note: This is the last installment, in my Tony Stark Fan-fiction. I loved writing this, but I am also happy to see it come to an end. Please, tell me what you think of this. I can only get better. It means the world to me when I get comments, so let me know how this makes you feel. Also, to my artists out there...I promise I don’t know jackshit about art, so please dont come for my throat. Everything is purely fictional. German speakers, I used google translate, please tell me if anything is off. I love you guys! Thanks for reading!

Summary: Y/N tries to adjust to her life away from Tony. 

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Smut. In that order. 

Song: I had the song I saw you in a dream by the Japanese House, in mind while writing this. 

Word Count: 11.2k

Parts: one | two | three | four | five 

Chapter Title: The Ends of the Universe

Disclaimer: Picture is not mine. 

Berlin, Germany. Pepper Potts sent you to Berlin. Fucking. Germany. While Berlin was breathtakingly beautiful, and to your surprise very diverse, you knew nothing about it. Nothing about the way of life there. Nothing about the people. To say you were nervous would be an understatement. Scared, would still not do your emotions justice. You were in a place you had made no preparations for, as well as no thoughts of ever visiting. But you guessed that was the point. 

Tony would never look for you here. 

Six months. That’s how long you would be here. Pepper had taken care of everything. The rest of the semester and classes that you were enrolled in before you left, were now moved online. It was that or completing them the next semester. Usually, your university required students complete all prerequisite courses before they took on any internships within their respected fields. So how Ms. Potts got your Dean to agree to such an outlandish change of pace for one of her students, you would never know. What she achieved was unprecedented. That was when you learned quickly to never underestimate her. 

Six months. That’s how long you would be away from Tony. Well actually, the idea, as Pepper calls it, is that you two will have moved on from each other by the end of it all. You weren’t even supposed to contact him when your time was up here. In fact, as long as you were in Germany, you were not to contact anyone you knew. 

Pepper had assured your family and friends of your well-being ahead of time. No they could not know of your location, nor contact you, but they were ensured that you were safe. It took some heavy convincing on her part to get your family to agree, but ultimately they did. In their eyes, they were supporting what was best for you. 

Nao, on the other hand, was not keen on just letting you leave the country. Though your friendship had less than a few days to develop, she became very protective over you. She felt that your leaving was downright bullshit as well as unfair. “Why should Edward fucking Stark, get his happy ending?” She spat. She was also not as willing to trust Pepper as you were. But because you had already made your decision to leave, you entrusted her with the secret of your hidden twitter account. No one, save yourself, knew about it. You agreed that you would regularly tweet from it, as your way of letting her know you were okay. That was the only reason, she didn’t blow the whistle to Tony right away.

Unlike Nao, you had faith in Pepper. You two weren’t the closest, but you had an unspoken respect and trust for one another. Pepper, despite every reason you gave her, did not behave in the way that any other woman in her shoes would have. You had broken her son’s heart by sleeping with his dad, her now ex-husband. Yet here she was, going through all of these hoops for you, just to make sure you didn’t ruin yourself. Of course you trusted her. 

There was one thing she was not truthful to you about however. When she told you the internship was all-expense paid, what she really meant was that she was covering all of it. Your school fees, apartment, food, and any and all luxury items, Pepper would be dishing out the money to take care of it all. While you felt you had no control over everything else, you drew the line there. Though you sort of resented her for her speediness to remove you from States, you refused to let her pay for your mistakes. She had already done so much. 

Your entire time living with Tony, he never let you pay for anything. This of course meant, you had money saved up from your previous employments. Enough to live comfortably until you could find a job. While Pepper was more understanding than her ex, she still insisted on covering your school fees as well as the first two months on your apartment so that you could focus on school before money became an issue. She even set you up with some extra spending money to get started. “To have a job, on top of an internship, as well as a full course-load, is too much for any student to bear.” She told you. “I will not set you up for failure, just to prove your smug ass Dean right.” 

Once you were settled in, and she felt confident enough to depart, Pepper left you and Germany, wishing you the best of luck. She was in a hurry to get back home before Tony could catch a whiff of where you were, and where she had been. 

So there you were. In Berlin. All alone, far from home, with no one but yourself to console. That was when the waterworks began. Between Nao’s place and the plane ride here, you didn’t have time to process your emotions. Your life, though not the most morally ideal, went to absolute shit in less than seventy-two hours. You didn’t care who was looking from the outside in calling you ungrateful. You got to experience the world, and your experiences with Tony alone should have satisfied you. 

Still, you didn’t ask for any of this. He was all you wanted. You would give up all the luxury in the world, if it meant just being with him. But alas, you did not have that choice, so you decided to cry. 

And cried you did. Your first three nights consisted of tears, and headaches. You barely even ate. It didn’t help that Tony’s face was plastered every where. He was famous, so what did you expect? “How the fuck am I supposed to get over him, when I can’t even escape him?” In fairness, you also didn’t make it easy on yourself. A t-shirt of his that you stole, covered your pillowcase. You were scared of the day it’s scent would leave. The new phone that Pepper purchased for you, had his wallpaper on the cover. Of course you later willed yourself to change it, but it took time. You even bought books that he begged you to read for months, just because they reminded you of him. Your entire time in Germany, you were a woman of your word to Nao. You tweeted about him constantly your first three nights, just  to feel like your old self again. It was small things that made you feel closer. But small things turned into big ones. You were practically torturing yourself. 

Where nights ended in crying, mornings began with half-hearted reassurements. “This is what’s good for me.” You would chant, to yourself in the mirror. “This is what’s good for Tony.” It was now the weekend, and come Monday you would be starting your internship. “The sooner I get this over with, the sooner I can go home.”

  ººººº

Starting your art internship sounded dreadful to you now. Before, you were more than excited as you planned it with Tony. Your eyes were starry when you fawned over how rich the art and culture was in France. Of course you would be excited, given that Tony had taken you to France on numerous occasions, as well as taught you some of the language. You were even comfortable enough to navigate the streets of Paris alone. That was more than you could say about Germany. 

When Monday came, and you left your apartment, you got lost almost immediately. Luckily to you, in Berlin more people spoke English than you thought. So your day was off to a bad start but you could still turn it around. That was your train of thought before it began to pour down raining. The cute, but simple little outfit that you had put together was now drenched. Not to mention your hair; tight coils retreated to your scalp, and makeup ran down your face. You had tried. You really did. You wanted the outside of your person, to deflect what you were feeling on the inside. Too bad the universe had other plans. 

You were still determined to complete your first day. So you continued on to the location that a kind stranger gave you. 

It sounded right, because soon you were standing in front of the soon-to-be art gallery that you would be interning at for the next 6 months. You were to shadow an art-curator, with the hopes of teaching it one day. Sure becoming an art professor wasn’t very fulfilling financially, but you loved art so you didn’t care. 

You walked into the magnificent glass structure, with high ceilings and tall windows. Your strides made wet squelching sound, as you stepped from the outside concrete pavement onto the wooden linoleum.

Immediately, a man who seemed to be directing others about the room, turned his attention to you. He almost dropped the clear clipboard he was holding, upon seeing the soaking wet brown girl before him. All he could think of was the damage to the floors you had probably caused. 

“Wie kann ich Dir helfen?” He asked you with a grimace painting his features.

If your confidence wasn’t shot before, it was now at a zero as you realized how stupid you must of looked. “I’m sorry I don’t speak German.” You apologized.

The man huffed as he switched languages. “I said, how can I help you?” Now you genuinely felt like an entitled American, in someone else’s country forcing them to accommodate you by speaking your native tongue. 

“I’m Y/N, and I am here for the Schmidt Internship.” You said lowly. You watched him bring his attention back to the clipboard in hand, flipping harshly through the paper. 

“You’re late. On your first day at that. How could you come in here like this?” His words were harsh, but he was right. You were late, and even if you weren’t your appearance would have sent off red flags in his head. 

You had to blink back the water that was forming in your eyes. This was something that you had become an expert at. “I apologize, but I had trouble finding my way here.”

He scoffed “So not only are you coming up with excuses already, but you’re telling me you haven’t even prepared yourself. How are you supposed to retain the necessary knowledge for this job?”

“Again, I’m sorry, but I can assure you that this won’t happen again. ”

“You’re right. So go home.” 

Your brows jumped to meet each other. “I’m sorry, what?”

“You clearly don’t have what it takes. My clients will eat you up and spit you out within seconds.” He looked you up and down before adding, “And if they don’t, I will. So go home.” He turned his back to you as if you were nothing, and began redirecting men on where to put certain paintings. Not sparing you a second glance.

Something told you that he was used to making people cry. You almost did, until you realized that you had been crying for the past week, and now you were just angry. 

“You can place that Delegado by the window.” You heard him say to two men. You walked up to them to interrupt their conversation.

“Actually place it as far away from the light as possible.” You ordered the men who were holding the piece.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” The curator asked. 

You could feel his scowl on your face so instead of spinning to address him, you furthered your explanation. “The choice of medium Delgado used is not compatible with the sun. It will certainly drain its vibrancy. But anyone who attended secondary school art would know that.” You sneered, side-eyeing him. Your insult did not fall on deaf ears. His scowl turned into an almost pained expression. You ignored it, and moved on. 

You walked around the room, as the curator silently, but obviously followed you. “I assume you intend to place a light fixture over this.” You asked him, looking over your shoulder. “If not, this is the painting you should place next to the window. It will not thrive in the shadows. The artist intended for light to cast on certain areas to reveal hidden figures.” You took your phone out to flash its light against the frame to prove your theory, and almost immediately new elements appeared in the work. 

You could almost hear the change in features on the curator’s face. Still you continued your dance around the room, explaining to him pieces of art that worked well with others, and ones that did not. 

Going up to your next piece, you inspected it closely. “When did you purchase this” You asked him.

“A few days ago. Why?” He questioned, his tone was now different, almost inviting you to say more. He was now curious about your every word. 

“Bankole, the artist this is inspired by has not sold a painting in years.” You informed him.

“I bought it from a secondhand distributor. So what’s your point?” 

“You were scammed. The original piece only has seven hooded men. A reoccurring theme in Bankole’s art. This painting only has six.”

“Well maybe Bankole miscounted.” He suggested, chuckling. It was like he was amused, and it was vastly different from his earlier cold demeanor. 

“It also has too many etchings along the border.” You continued. “And the signature is misspelled.”

He stayed silent for a minute. He was awestruck. His assistant who had been standing near him, looked up everything you said to fact check you. She whispered a “she passed, sir” in his ear, when she could validate your arguments. And that’s when you realized it was a test. 

Upon realizing the whole thing was a set up, you relaxed your bewildered eyebrows, and looked down at your feet to smile a smile that screamed ‘I’ve been tricked’. 

The curator, as if scared to take his eyes off of you leaned his head to the side to ask his assistant, “Could you please get Ms.?”

“L/N” You sheepishly smiled, bringing your eyes back up to meet his. 

“Yes, could you please get Ms. L/N something to dry off with, Hanna?” He asked the girl, returning a smile back. 

“Right away sir.” Hanna spoke, scampering away to search the building’s custodial closet. 

He offered his hand to you, and broke the silence. “I’m Finn. Finn Schmidt.”

You took his hand, and shook it gently. “Wait Schmidt? Does that mean you’re—”

“Yes, my family owns this gallery.” He replied as a matter of fact. 

You mouthed an inaudible ‘oh’, as you were now embarrassed about your secondary school comment. Thankfully Hanna was back now with a towel to distract you from your growing shame. Changing the subject you asked, “So is it a German thing to be rude and test your future interns?”

He laughed, eyes lingering on your neck as you dried your hair. “Well its a Schmidt thing to test future interns. As for the rude part, I’m sorry. I was just a bit upset about something from earlier.” He confessed. “I promise I would have called you back later to apologize.”

“It’s fine. I did show up late and track your floors with rainwater.” You glanced outside, noticing the sky was now as clear as day. Just my fucking luck, you thought. But at least the new found light gave you a chance to properly examine Finn. The events from earlier, blinded you from realizing how handsome he was. 

He was much taller than you. At least more than half a foot. Chestnut brown locks, thrown up into a messy bun, graced the top of his head. He had honey brown eyes upon first glance, but when the sunlight hit them, they were a brilliant amber. He looked to be close in age to you, but still more experienced; so maybe late 20’s early 30’s you concluded. He was built. Not too muscular, but far from skinny. His beard was immaculate. In fact it looked as if he took better care of it, than he did his hair. Both made him look majestic. He had skin of olive, and it was dewy and radiant; you just knew his skin-care routine was more rigorous than yours. When he spoke, it was gruff. His accent was thick, but he spoke English like he lived in a native-english speaking country for years. He was definitely a man who prided himself in his looks as well as his knowledge. 

“So tell me, is it an American thing to ogle at complete strangers.” He smirked at you. You immediately thanked God for blessing you with darker skin, for you felt your blood pool to the apples of your cheeks. 

“I’m sorry.” You apologized, embarrassed and suddenly intrigued by the ground.

“Don’t be. It’s definitely a Schmidt thing.” He informed you, raking his eyes down your figure. Is he flirting with me? You asked yourself. 

Now desperate for air, you took in a deep breath to overcome the fluster. “So, um. I’m sorry, just to make sure I’m not getting ahead of myself: your assistant said I passed?”

He cleared his throat, and began rapidly blinking away his daze before speaking. “Yes with flying colors.”

“Does this mean I still have the internship?”

“Yes. I’d be honored to have you. ”

You beamed a bright smile. “Great. Well I hope we enjoy working together.” You stretched your hand out again for him to shake. 

“As do I.” He said, grasping your outstretched limb, before bringing your hand to his lips. 

Oh boy. 

ººººº

It turns out, you two did enjoy working together. Finn, despite your first impression of him, was a major sweetheart, at least to you that is. You didn’t know if that reigned true in other aspects of his life, or if it was just because he wanted to sleep with you. Either way, you welcomed his charming nature.

He became your best friend whilst you were in Germany. He was proud of his country, and very eager to show you why. You were dragged from museum to museum soaking in beautiful art. Landmark to landmark, reveling in famous architecture. Restaurant to restaurant, engorging yourselves with famous German cuisines and desserts. He was elated to finally have someone to boast to about his culture. And you were happy to have someone take your mind off of Tony. Temporarily.

As months passed, you still found your mind drifting off as you wondered about him. You dreamed about him at least every other night. But you would still tell yourself,  He’s over me by now. He’s probably happy I’m gone. At least I didn’t ruin his life.

Finn could only do so much. You were close now, so you informed him of a man who had taken over your dreams. He didn’t know who your mystery man was, but he wanted to be him. He wanted to be the one who occupied your mind. He made it clear on numerous occasions too. Spouting to you German phrases that he taught you before hand, revealing his feelings. 

‘Ich steh’ auf dich’. I’m into you. ‘Ich bete dich an’, I adore you. The words were beautiful flowing from his lips. But you always feigned ignorance, acting like you forgot what they meant. He could scream his feelings to the sky in your mother tongue, and you would still say something along the lines of “Quit joking around.” Or “You’re so silly.”

You would be a liar if you said you hadn’t thought about Finn in that way. He was sexy, and more than willing to replace Tony. And Pepper, if she were there, as well as your friends and your better sense, would have begged for you to fuck him…but alas, you just couldn’t do it.

You two were currently planning the grand opening of his family’s second art gallery. It was tomorrow night, and it took all of five months, most of your internship to get the museum ready for the public. It would be a formal event, where renowned guests were invited to partake in a cultured but light-hearted social gathering. It was going to be grand, which meant Finn was bugging out. 

“Lydia, have Hanna approve the guest list for me. I need her to make sure, no strays show up.” He said to one of his staff members. He had a group of people following close beside him as he took long strides to his office. 

“Again?” She asked. 

“Yes! Again.” He shouted.

She rolled her eyes, before skittering off to find Hanna.

“Luka, have you checked with the caterers to make sure the hors d’oeuvres will arrive by 17:30?”

“Yes sir.” The boy squeaked. 

“Check again.” Finn ordered. 

“Right away sir.”

“Oliver—” Finn Started. 

“The wine has already arrived, sir.” Oliver interjected, feeling quite sure of himself. 

“So the Chambertin Grand Cru is here? Great!” Finn began smiling and relaxing a bit. 

Confusion took the place of certainty on Oliver’s face. “Actually sir, I thought you told me to get Richebourg Grand Cru.” 

“Fuck!” Finn yelled in his native tongue, about to tear a new hole in the smaller boy. That is before you stepped in. You were waiting for him by his door. 

“Your guests are coming in for the art Finn. Not the wine, nor the food.”

His expression softened when he heard your voice. “Our guests.” He corrected, smiling at you. “I feel you worked harder than me, so they are our guests.”

“Fine. Our guests do not care about the damn wine.” You smiled. 

He chuckled at your playful chide. “You know you keep me sane right? You’re my savior.” 

“I thought Jesus was your savior.”

“Well you’re a close second.” He smirked, as he let you enter the room before him. You both sat down in close seats, and ran down a list of things he needed to confirm for tomorrow nights events. 

As you two worked, he decided to start a separate conversation. “Have you decided on whether or not you’re coming yet.” His voice was hopeful.

You sighed, knowing you were about to shatter that hope. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. I think I’ll pass.”

“Why?” He cried, abandoning his previous tasks. 

“I have nothing to wear.” You informed him. “Besides I’m a bit beat. I should relax before my exams come up.”

“But, it’s just one night. And anything you put on will be amazing. It’s the girl in the dress that makes it beautiful.” As he said the last part, he placed a hand on your knee and caressed it.

You stood to your feet to avoid his lingering touches as well as ignore the look of disappointment on his face. “I can’t just show up in any thing. There are way too many important people coming. I would have to make a good impression, and I’m just not up for it.” 

Finn abruptly raised now hovering over you and turning your body to face him. “What is this really about?”

“What do you mean?” You asked looking at him through an inquisitive lens. 

“We both worked so hard on this. This gallery is practically your baby, don’t you want to see other people enjoy it?” The pads of his thumbs massaged your shoulders. The act was innocent, but to you it burned to have another man touch you in the way that only Tony should. 

You shrugged your shoulders to make his arms fall and took a stroll around his desk, placing space between you. “Of course I want to see her success, Finn.”

“Then what’s stopping you?” He asked, slowly meeting you on the other side, unsure about his actions now. 

You knew what was stopping you. Finn had to practically beg you to go out with him on regular days, and you would eventually do it to rid your mind of Tony; but this was different. Attending this event reminded you of the ones you, Tony, and Edward would participate in. 

While you were Edward’s plus one on paper, it was really Tony who you would move through a room with. He would introduce you to some of his friends in high places. You two would have riveting conversations about the world and art. By the end of it all, you would ditch Edward (which wasn’t hard, because he was usually the one to ditch you guys) to sip expensive ass champagne until you passed out the next day in some hotel room you had no memory of entering. This event screamed reminders of your past life. And your past love.

“I don’t know.” You lied. But Finn knew you were lying. He also knew what, or rather who, was stopping you.

He sighed, and gazed at you before speaking again. “Is this about your ex?”

You were curious as to why he asked about Tony when the conversation had nothing to do with him. “Why do you ask me that?”

“Because it always seems to be.” He came to stand directly before you, now more sure of himself. 

You could admit your tone of voice changed as you said your next line. “Well it’s not.”

“When are you gonna get over him?” Finn asked, ignoring your words as well as ignoring the defensive tone they were laced in. 

“I am over him.” He made you feel small, so you straightened your posture to appear more intimidating, a sharp scowl now decorating your face. 

“No you’re not. You’re still depressed about him.” He sounded a bit annoyed now. 

“I wouldn’t say I’m depressed…” You cooed, trailing off a bit with your thoughts. Am I depressed? And if I am, do I really wear it for the world to see?

Worry etched itself into your expression, which made Finn say, “You’re too young for this. And you’re too beautiful. You shouldn’t be worried about a guy who isn’t even here.” Finn stated. You thought that what he was saying wasn’t fair, because he didn’t even know the full story. “I can help you get over him.”

He made you blink rapidly at his words. “Woah Finn,” Finn continued his case. 

“Just let me take your mind off of him. I promise i’ll be worth it.” he was always forward, but never this forward. 

“Finn stop.” He was now closer to you, cornering you between himself and his wall. His office felt much smaller now. 

“I like you Y/N, and not just as a friend.” He was now just a breath away, so you threw your arms in between the two of you, only for him to lightly grip your wrists. 

“Finn—” You were cut off by his lips, as they stole a soft kiss from yours. You immediately broke the connection by looking down, brushing the area he just touched with your fingertips. Finn looked at you expectantly, face flushing as he realized what he just did. He dropped his hands from their positions on your wrists and stepped back.

“Y/N, I-I’m so, sorr—”

“I’m late for my other job now. I’ll see you Monday.” You hurried out, as you circled around him to leave the room before he could say another word. 

ººººº

Your entire shift at your neighborhood cafe, felt like a blur.  You chose to work at a cafe for similar reasons to the ones at home: the rustle and bustle of the world made you feel calm, and like your problems were small. But now all you could think about was Finn.

He was right, you were still hung up on Tony. In your defense, five months didn’t seem like enough time for you to move on from a relationship that shifted your entire being. But they did say, to get over one man, you should get under another one. And Finn, was a man that you would have been attracted to under normal circumstances. 

He was handsome. Articulate. Cultured. Kind. He was the type of man, who could move a room just by walking in it. But he wasn’t Tony. That fact alone was how you knew you were beat. If you could pass up an amazing man, for one you couldn’t even have, then you were crazy. 

He smelled of ginger, and he tasted like cinnamon for those fleeting moments that he held you. You thought to yourself that you could do worse. You weren’t supposed to be with Tony anyway, so what was the harm in being with a man who was begging for you to use him?

The harm was, that you weren’t that kind of a girl. And you didn’t wanna hurt him. 

I am making this harder than it needs to be. You thought to yourself, as you walked into your apartment building. Your decision to go to the gallery’s opening became a hell of a lot easier, when your doorman greeted you with a package. You hesitantly thanked him and took the elegant box, before walking up to your flat. 

Setting it down on your counter to rid it of its satin pink bow, you freed the top cover and unraveled the tissue paper. Underneath all of the wrapping was a sparkly rose gold material. You pulled it out to reveal a ball gown, that looked as if it was made specifically with a princess in mind. The puffy skirt of the gown had a large slit in it and it was made of a sheer, almost see-through fabric. Glitter ran throughout the entire dress, but where it was most prominent was the bodice. The straps were off the shoulder, and they connected to a deep plunge a few inches below the neckline. It was beautiful.

Your first thought was to anger. The dress looked like it cost him a fortune.  You felt obligated to thank him, but you were also mad that he spent money on you as a form of apology. You hated when people just gave you things. It instantly made you feel like a burden.

But then your second thought was one of guilt. Leaving him so quickly, must of made him feel terrible, and that fact helped you swallow your anger. He really liked you, and you could at least show up to the gallery to support him. After all, you were still friends. 

You just silently prayed you wouldn’t regret going. 

      ººººº

Cool air nipped at your bear arms and chest as you made your way through the night. The wind caused cold tears to fall from your eyes, and your fingers felt like icicles. You knew it would be cold tonight as winter transitioned into spring, but you didn’t anticipate it this much. You didn’t have a proper shawl to sit across your shoulders that matched your dress, so you sucked it up and power-walked to the gallery.  It definitely felt nice to step into the building’s warm and inviting embrace.You instantly felt your cheeks warm up as you stood in the middle of the entryway.

The event was in full swing by the time you arrived. You were instantly surrounded by laughter, and chatter, as rich people debated amongst themselves about the intent of certain pieces of art. Beautiful melodies filled the air, as classical music played softly in the background. The ambience was warm despite the cold night air peering through the high glass ceilings. You thought it was nice, how even though the building was so well lit, you could still make out the faint glow of stars above you. 

Being an observant person who could easily meld into the background, you thought the sight before you was beautiful, and you immediately felt regret grow smaller in the pit of your stomach. 

You searched the crowd, trying to seek out Finn and thank him for urging you to come, as well as for the dress. You found him at the top of a balcony, chatting up one of his guests. You swallowed your uneasiness as you made it up in your mind to confront his and your feelings. Maybe I could give him a try because he really is a nice guy. That was your train of thought as you made your way up to him. I could learn to love him. You thought. If it doesn’t work out, I still have home in just a month. 

As you got closer, and closer to him, you thought of Tony, and immediately froze in your tracks. You felt guilty for even thinking about someone else before you were over him. You were disappointed in yourself, for your readiness to use one man, in order to get over another one.

You were about to turn around and forget about the entire event, before Finn caught your gaze. He stopped his chat with the man in front of him and excused himself to walk over to you. 

You looked like a gapping fish out of water as he approached you. Finn was always so well put together. Seeing him in a tux, only made him appear more intimidating. He somehow made you, with your dress, naturally done makeup, and beautifully pinned up hair, feel small. Little did you know, he felt smaller.  

“Y/N” He started, almost at a loss for words. “You look beautiful.”

To save face you forced yourself to speak, opting for the playful banter he had come to love. “Why are you acting so surprised?”  You sheepishly smirked. 

“Well I didn’t think you were coming.” He beamed. He was relieved to know you weren’t still mad at him.

“I couldn’t just waste this.” You said referring to your dress, grabbing a fistful in each hand to lift it and emphasize your point. 

Finn bought his eyes over you, basking in your beauty. “You look darling in that. But I thought you said you didn’t have anything to wear.”

You furrowed your brows at his words, smile faltering. “I didn’t, until you—”

“Finn! Over here darling, I want you to meet someone.” His mother called to him in english, gesturing to a well-dressed attractive woman. 

“Okay.” He replied to her before bringing his attention back to you. “Stay right here. Don’t move I mean it.” He floated off, abandoning you and your confusion.

Why was he acting so oblivious? 

You felt moments pass as Finn worked himself around the room. You watched him as he drifted from person to person, seemingly forgetting about you. He was in his element, and you were happy to see him happy. 

Leaving him to do his own thing, you walked down the stairs deciding to occupy yourself by people watching. That was when your emotions began to overwhelm you again. You leaned against a wall, newfound glass of wine in hand, trying to drown out the noise around you. Everything seemed to remind you of Tony Stark. The rich men in their suits. The stimulating discussions. Even the drink between your fingers, reminded you of him. Now too encapsulated with your thoughts once again, you turned to the wall behind you, immersing yourself into the art. The sad girl in the painting, derided you, as you met her eyes. She was pretty, and like you she felt alone. At least we can be lonely together you thought, scoffing at the idea. 

“Why that frown, everyone in here knows you’re prettier than her.” Your heart sank, as you turned to the side meeting the face of the familiar voice. 

“Tony?” You exhaled, blinking rapidly as if your eyes were playing tricks on you.

“In the flesh.” He smirked down at you. You threw yourself into his open arms, as he wrapped himself around you. You felt him kiss the top of your head, then your temple, as you inhaled his scent; it had been such a long time since you had even done that. Your drink spilled on the floor behind you, and the look of shock you received from a nearby stranger made you feel deranged. It didn’t matter, how crazy you looked, Tony was here and that was all you could care about. 

Pulling back from his embrace, you felt your words form at the back of your throat unable to bring them out. “What are you doing here?” You managed to ask. 

“You know I could ask you the same. Berlin? Was all that French I taught you, for nothing?” He joked, holding you in place. 

You were becoming blurry-eyed. You terribly missed his wittiness. “How did you find me?” Though you were happy, you couldn’t help the tears that streamed down your face. 

Tony wiped them away with the pads of his thumb, “First. Dance with me.” He reached a hand between the two of you, willing you to take it. 

“This isn’t that kind of an event Tony.” You chuckled.

“Who cares? I need to hold you.” His words made you tear up again. You soon became a sobbing mess, and those around you shot him dirty looks for making you cry. 

“Princess.” Tony cooed, sending apologetic nods to random people as he tried to comfort you. “You’re making a scene.” 

You ignored him, and kept silently whimpering, gradually growing a bit louder, as your face contorted further into a frown. “You’ll ruin your makeup.” 

Still crying you began dry-heaving as you chocked between sobs. “Alles ist gut.” Tony assured strangers, informing them that all was well. 

“You know German?” You squeaked between sobs.

“When I found out you were in Germany, I learned a bit on the plane ride here.” He grabbed a napkin from a passing by waiter, as he told you this. 

“So you learned German for me?” You sobbed louder, causing more people to look over.

“Y/N, baby please stop crying.” Tony pleaded. “Please stop."

You sniffled and began wiping your eyes, smearing your mascara in the process. He used his napkin to wipe away the excess mess on your face. “Now can we please try this again?” He asked holding his hand out. You took it, and he lead you to the center of the room. 

Now the attention was as a result of the spectacle in front of them. First a girl practically pours her expensive wine on the ground. Then starts crying. And now she and her beaux are dancing in the middle of the gallery. How unhinged you must of looked in the eyes of a stranger. 

Tony couldn’t be more in love with you. He held you close, one hand clasped with yours, the other resting on your lower back as he gazed into your eyes, mesmerized by your existence. You two swayed back and forth, ignoring the judgmental stares and whispers. Eventually others gained the courage to join in, inspired by the silly Americans of the room. 

He broke the comfortable silence first. “I see you like the dress. You make it look beautiful.”

“You bought this for me?” You exclaimed smiling. It made sense now, how else would the measurements be so perfect?

“Of course I did. Who else would?” He asked with a single raised brow, his signature “you better tell me, or you’re in trouble” expression.

“Mmh, hmm, Mmh.” You mumbled shrugging your shoulders upwards. Of course that was a lie, but you would tell him later. 

He decided to address your lie later as well. He changed the subject for now. “So why Berlin? Why not London, or Italy? Italy was you second choice, you loved Italy!”  

You giggled at the amount of times he said Italy. He bathed in the sound. “Germany was the first place Pepper could arrange on such short notice. Besides, we thought you would never think of looking here.”

“I would search the ends of the universe for you.” He said, face and tone all of a sudden serious. You inspected him for a minute, heat rising to your cheeks, before you both cracked a smile. 

“You’re so fucking cheesy.” You laughed. 

“I thought you loved it when I act cheesy.” He expressed, mocking fake hurt. 

You smiled and kissed his chin, ignoring his dramatics, opting to be enveloped by the silence. You were calmed as he rocked you in his arms, pulling you as close as he could. His large warm hand on your exposed lower back felt like home. You two fit together like puzzle pieces, and you were happier now than you were the first time you kissed. Now you weren’t in secret. You were out in the open, as you experienced a new first in your relationship. 

You broke the silence this time, as you laid your head on his chest. “So how did you find me?”

“Tonysbitch99 Y/N? Come on, I’m a fucking genius, and I’m not exaggerating.  Your last tweet led me here”

Your head shot up so you could question him. “Wait. So you went out on a fucking whim?”

He laughed at your outburst. "Well actually a blue-haired girl encouraged me to check your twitter account. I found your hidden one on your old phone. That led me to your apartment.”

“Nao.” You said in a low menacing tone. You had some words for her as soon as you got back home. But when you thought of home, your mind wandered back to the obstacles in your way. Being so happy to see him, you forgot about Edward. “Tony” You sighed. “You can’t be here. Edward will find out. And you could lose everything you worked for. Your dreams have to mean something to you.”

“They do. You’re one of them Y/N.” He always had a way with words, and just as you were about to protest he cut you off. “I won’t go into details about it, but everything is fine. You can even contact both Edward and Pepper if you don’t believe me.” 

You believed him. The fact that he involved Pepper’s name encouraged you to. “Enough  about me though. You seem to have been keeping yourself busy.” He whispered against the shell of your ear.

“What do you mean?” You asked, flustered by his action. He suddenly, but slowly dipped you so that you could focus on where his line of sight was. Your eyes met Finn, who was busying himself with guests, as well as stealing glances at the two of you. As you focused on him, Tony peppered kisses along the heart of your exposed bosom. The gesture forced you to shoot up out of embarrassment. You knew he was marking his territory, but you immediately scolded him. 

“Who is he?” He asked you, ignoring your tiny hits and reprimands. Once you calmed down, you told him about Finn.  “He hasn’t taken his eyes off of us, or should I say you, since my being here.”

You averted your gaze from Tony, and he immediately knew you were hiding something from him. He pestered you, until you told him about Finn’s crush, as well as the shared kiss. By the end of it all, he was sending death glares his way.

“You should introduce us.” Tony suggested, gravitating towards Finn, before you held him taught. 

“Calm yourself.”

“What did you say his name was again? Finn?” He asked, but he already knew the answer to his own question. “Finn. Finn. Finn.” He repeats, as if the name felt like a bad aftertaste on his tongue. “You know what? I like it. No, I really do, it fits him, because he looks like a fucking fish.” He spat.

You grinned and asked, “You’re not jealous are you Tony?”

“And what would I have to be jealous of? Did you not hear me say fish?” He questioned. 

“He’s a sweetheart. Come on, let me introduce you.” You were about to take his hand to meet Finn, but were surprised to see that he was already making his way over to the two of you. 

“Y/N, who might this be?” Finn asked reaching out to shake his hand. He knew who Tony was, most people did, but this was Finn’s way of acting as if he himself was more important. 

“Tony Stark” Tony interjected, acknowledging the outreached hand, but blatantly refusing to shake it. 

  Finn dropped his hand, before speaking again, smile now twitching. “Nice to meet you Mr. Stark. I’m Finn Schmidt.”

“Well that’s rather unfortunate.” Tony mumbled, loud enough for the both of you to hear. 

“Tony!” You chided, slapping his arm. 

“What?!” Tony cried. “You heard him say his last name was Shit, right?”

“He said Schmidt.” He knew that. Tony ignored the glare on your face that demanded he apologize.

The sound of laughter rang in your ears, as you both snapped your necks towards it. Finn must of  thought he was funny. “Y/N, your grandfather is hilarious.” Finn said, now deadpanning at Tony. 

Tony looked down at his hands, then at your brown ones, then back up to question the handsome boy. “Do I look like her fuc—”

“You’re right Finn. My boyfriend is pretty funny.” You say, examining his face with a small smile. Your comment shocked both him and Tony. He was happy that you could finally call him that. 

“Now,” you continued. “I’m a bit tired from these past few weeks. I think I’m going to call it a night. Enjoy your evening Finn. I’ll see you Monday.” You smiled, as you tugged Tony away.

“Goodnight Fish Shit,” Tony smirked over his shoulder, as you dragged him towards the door.  

“It’s Finn Schmidt, you idiot.” You corrected, sending an apologetic nod back to your friend. 

“What did I say?”

ººººº

Pushing the door open to your apartment, you unstrapped your shoes to place them next to the door, urging Tony to do the same. You threw your keys in a dish, and turned to him to whisper your intentions to go and slip into something more comfortable. He stared at you with a small smile as his response, dark eyes searching yours, while his remained unreadable. The dim light from the kitchen, illuminated his face, making it look intimidatingly beautiful. Or was hauntingly the word?

You suddenly felt nervous, realizing that this was the first time in months since you had been alone together. Handing him back the coat he let you borrow for the walk here,  you cleared your throat, and averted your gaze before excusing yourself from the room. Tony relished in the fact that he had reverted you back to your first stage of innocence. 

Upon your exit, he took a slow stroll around the room. He was careful to take in all that he had missed. Curious of how much you had changed, and how much you stayed the same. 

Accents of your favorite color were spread throughout the room. You had an open kitchen, and the living room was right across from it. They were both tidied to perfection. You had sleek wooden floors, that looked like they had never been stepped on. Furniture, that looked like it had never been sat on. A stove, that looked like it had never been turned on. Your place was nice, but he could tell you were rarely home. 

The walk here, you told him of your job on top of your internship, and school.You didn’t complain about it. In fact, you appreciated the chaos, and constant busyness. But he hated that you worked like a dog just to make ends meet. There was now all this time he would have to make up for, by spoiling you. 

He bent over to examine the books on your shelves. Some were new. Some that he had suggested. But what he searched for were the ones you would spend your summers rereading, as if the words would leave the page; desperate to memorize every letter. 

He moved on, now curious about your smart TV. What new shows were you watching? Did you still love the ones he remembered to be your favorite, or did new ones take their place? 

He picked up the candle on your coffee table. The scent of honeysuckle assaulted his senses. It was much different from your usual vanilla. He sat it down to continue his journey to your kitchen. 

He raided your pantry, your cupboards, and your fridge to see if you had been taking care of yourself. The contents were scarce, and he had to remind himself to scold you later.

“Are you hungry?” You asked smiling, grasping the hallway’s entry frame. You were wearing an oversized ash gray shirt whose front was tucked into a pair of frilly pink shorts. Your previously pinned hair now fallen was framing your cheeks, as stray pieces were pushed behind your ears. You removed all of your ruined makeup, and the result left a sheen of dew on the surface of your skin. If he thought you looked surreal at the gallery, ethereal was the word he’d use now due to your natural glowing state. 

“Yes” He replied. But he was getting full off of your appearance alone. There was no need for useless human sustenance. The way you looked was enough. 

You came into full view, grabbing a glass from your cupboards to pour yourself some water. “Well I’m afraid you’re not gonna find anything here.” You took a sip, offering him some. “But it’s not too late. There are still restaurants open.”

He reached for the glass in your hand, but instead of taking it, he placed his hand over yours to make you feed him sips of water. He eyed you over the rim of the glass before setting it down to say, “I’m full now.”

You swallowed hard, walking to sit on a stool on the other side of the island. Tony fell backwards directly in front of you, letting the cabinets behind him catch him. He drank you in with his eyes, as you felt yourself shrinking under his scrutiny.

“What?” You questioned, shy from his gaze. He said nothing, and just watched you. 

After a moment of playing the staring game, you tried to break the silence again. You looked down at the shirt you were wearing to spark a conversation. “I’m sorry I stole your shirt. I needed something to remind me of you. I hope you didn’t miss it too much.”

“The only thing that I missed, was you.” He said after minutes of deafening silence. Is he mad?

Looking down out of guilt you told him, “Well I’m here now. Tell me how you’ve been.”

He felt like your question was a loaded one. Not once did he think about himself while you were gone. He was constantly thinking of you. I’ve been lost. He wanted to say. I’ve been hopeless. I felt helpless not knowing where you were. Not knowing if you were okay. So many things were on the tip of his tongue, but instead he settled for “Let’s just say, I’ve missed you.” 

“That’s not what I asked.” You were genuinely curious about how his life was without you. But Tony looked like he didn’t want to explore the subject further. 

“That’s how I feel.” He declared, drifting slowly towards you. 

You decided to continue talking in order to fill the awkwardness. “Well its obviously how I feel too, but I wanna know how you’ve been holding up.” You ignored his sudden closeness. “Could you at least tell me how every one is? You mentioned Nao had blue hair? It was pink when we met.” Tony stood silent by your side as you asked your questions. “How’s Samuel? And Pepper?”As you rambled on and on, he traveled behind your stool, placing his hands on the chairs bars. His scent began to envelope you, and thats when your rambles became incoherent. If you weren’t already nervous before, you definitely were now. 

He picked up on it, like he usually does, and asked  “Am I making you uncomfortable?” in a hushed tone. You felt his breath fan the back of your neck, goosebumps formed on the little parts that were exposed. Your thighs clenched together, as you were suddenly turned on by how he made you feel both small and secure at the same time. 

He grabbed your chin, lifting your neck upwards and to the side, just before he placed a soft kiss on your lips, the first kiss since your reunion. It was so soft, you felt that he was afraid you might break; or as if you were only a part to a vivid dream. Deepening his touch, he let the fingers that were lifting your chin,  trail down the line of your neck. Soft fingertips brushed against your skin, until they collectively found a loose position around your throat. He let his thumb explore your jaw, while his tongue explored your mouth. Soft lips quickly turned into rough ones, as they fought to release every frustration and emotion he felt for the past five months.

When he pulled away, he had the nerve to place a chaste kiss on your cheek, as if he hadn’t just tongue-fucked your face a moment ago. “Sorry.” He apologized, “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now.” He then walked back to his position by the counter, as if nothing happened, turned to you and asked “So what was your question again?” Innocence and genuine curiosity etched his features, like the lust, from a moment ago, never existed. 

Quickly overcoming your fit of fluster, you hesitantly stood to your feet. Tony never took his almond brown eyes off of you, as you seductively sauntered over to him. You had an idea. It was one you rarely thought of. One you never acted on; but if your time in Germany taught you something, it was to go for what you wanted. 

Now standing directly in front of him, doe eyes boring into his, he shut them as you placed your hands against his chest, leaning in for a kiss. Much like his, it was soft. A feather like touch against his mouth. You barely pulled back to whisper, “follow me” against his lips. His eyes fluttered open just in time to see you retreating down the hall. 

It was now his turn to become flustered, as he felt himself growing hot. He gave himself a moment to cool down, before taking his time walking down the hallway. As he poked his head in every room, just before he came to the last one, he found you sitting comfortably on your bed, stripped down to nothing but your bra and panties. Your elbows were propped up holding your weight, and your leg was crossed against your other as you patiently waited for him to enter the room. Your head was tilted as a seductive smile played on your features. 

Tony returned the expression, and he was about to dive into you, until you raised your hand to halt his actions. “Take off your shirt.” You ordered.

“Excuse me?” He asked, eyebrows furrowing in amusement. 

“You heard me.” You dared. Though your tone was soft, he knew you meant business. He searched your eyes for a moment, not finding his usual hint of submissiveness. So he decided to humor you. He leisurely unbuttoned his cuffs, glancing up at you every now and then. Then he took his time loosening his bowtie, dragging it off of his collar. He went painfully slow as he unbuttoned his bib, leering in your direction as he did so. Making you wait is what would usually break your spirit, and it was his favorite game. But you had learned patience while in Germany, so tonight was your night. You uncrossed your legs and raised to your feet, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt to roughly pull him into a kiss. This one was more feverish than the one shared in your kitchen, and it caught him by surprise since he was usually the one to take control. 

You switched your standing positions with him so that you were now the one facing the bed. As you deepened your kiss, he got pushed further back, until his knees collided with the mattress. You stood between his legs surveying his cherry swollen lips, before you reconnected your mouthes.

You laced your fingers in his hair, breaking your kiss, to harshly tug his head upwards. The guttural groan that escaped his throat, left an ache between your legs, while liquid pooled to the center of your panties. 

With the newly exposed skin of his neck, you stuck your tongue out to lick a slow stripe from his adam’s apple to his jaw, eliciting a string of curses from Tony. You then placed wet kisses down from there to his abs, kneeling to face his crotch. 

The prominent bulge, made your eyes widen with anticipation, and mouth salivate from thirst. You fell to your knees, licking your lips, fingers now fumbling with the buckle of his belt. Tony grasped your chin, lifting it to meet your eyes. “Y/N, I don’t want you to think you have to do this.”

You smiled at him, assuring him that you wanted to, kissing his fingers before going back to your previous tasks. He tensed up when you placed your hand on his thigh, just as the other worked to release his cock. The veiny appendage sprung free, and its size still intimidated you as you struggled to fit it in your tiny hands. Still, you were determined to make him feel good. 

You wrapped your hand around it, holding his drunken gaze, before stroking him up and down. You placed chaste kisses along the base, until you reached his crown. When you swirled your tongue around his head, Tony’s dick bucked in your hands, and his large palm shot up to tangle in your hair, urging you to suck. You swatted his hands away, and fixed him with a stare, silently telling him you’d stop if he didn’t let you have this. When confident that he learned his place, you wrapped your lips around his tip, lowering yourself further down his shaft, twisting the parts you couldn’t fit (which was still a lot.) He was a moaning mess, when his dick hit the back of your throat. You bobbed your head up and down his length, mewling when you made him groan. The vibrations from your moans, sent jolts of electricity up his spine, and he struggled to contain himself. 

Gagging against him, you shot back gasping for air, only a string of spit connecting you. After six more motions like that, Tony shot three thick ropes of cum down your throat. The sound he let out as he came, made the area between your thighs slick.

He usually spewed words of encouragement when you gave him head. “Just like that” or “Suck daddy’s cock” filled your ears as you worked him through his orgasm. But to see him come completely undone, unable to form a sentence, let alone control the situation, had you feeling more than satisfied. His head was thrown back surveying the ceiling before he bought his attention back to you. His face was a soft shade of pink, and sweat covered his forehead; it worked like glue, as pieces of disheveled hair stuck to it. “Who taught you how to do that?” He asked between breaths. 

“Finn.” You joked, but as soon as you said it, Tony grabbed your arm to yank you to your feet. He grabbed the nape of your neck to pull you closer to his face. 

“I know you’re just kidding sweetheart, but I don’t find that funny.” He rasped in a low tone. The grip he had on your  neck caused you to whimper, but you didn’t mind the sting. It only riled you up. 

You stepped back from his embrace, to undo your bra, just for him to yank you back in once it was off. He began kissing between your sternum, dangerously close to the mounds of your breasts. You chuckled at the feeling of his facial hair tickling your skin, but then your giggles turned into moans as his beard created delicious burns across your surface. He reached his hands down to your waist ridding you of your panties. Once you stepped out of them, you pushed him backwards on the bed, to crawl over him placing both thighs on each side of his. 

He bit his bottom lip at the sight of you, eyes burning with desire, and hands trailing from your thighs to your waist. You grabbed his dick, brushing it against your lips, before slowly guiding it to your entrance. As you sunk down on him, he sucked in air harshly, while you yourself let out a gasp of pain. 

“You still fit like a glove, baby.” He moaned out, glowered at you through hooded eyes. His hands tightened their grips around your waist to help you ease yourself onto him. 

A pained gasp erupted through your chest; the farther you sunk down on him, the further you stretched out. Pleasure began to burn in your loins when you met his end. You threw your head back and planted your palms against his chest,  rocking and grinding on his cock at a painfully slow pace. Your clit grazed his base as you did so, encouraging you to pick up your speed. His hands that were previously on your waist, crept up your front to fondle your breasts. You grabbed his wrists to help lift yourself up and down his shaft. 

The faster you bucked against him, the closer you came to meet your edge. He found his words of encouragement, when he heard your lusty pants of pleasure. “Such a pretty girl.” He praised. “Look at you go.” He whispered. He watched sweat form against your cupids bow, and your expression contort further into one of pleasure.

Your pace began to falter which is when he placed an arm around your back to sit the two of you up. Using the edge of the bed, he met your hips with his own, fucking into you at a new angle. His pace was faster, and more accurate than your own, which meant with each thrust he his your g-spot head on. His grunts and your pants echoed off of the walls as he sent you barreling towards your orgasm. You shut your eyes, letting the ecstasy hit, as you panted his name, over and over again. 

Letting the pleasure wash over you, you came to a complete stop, your moans sending vibrations through Tony’s chest. He didn’t stop though, his thrusts were relentless, as he tried his hardest to bury into you. “Keep going.” He ordered you. 

“I can’t daddy.” You whimpered, already fucked out, when you barely even started. 

“Yes you can.” He simply said, forcing you to sit up straight. You straddled his lap, met his eyes, and placed your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself, trying to will yourself up and down, but your hips just wouldn’t let you. By this time, he stopped completely as well, to catch his breath. 

You laid your head in the crook of his neck, defeated. “I’m sorry.” You exhaled into his skin. 

He lifted your head to cup your chin. When his eyes met yours, he pecked your lips before saying, “It’s okay princess. You did so well…but now it’s daddy’s turn.”

With that, he picked you up and wrapped your legs around him to place you at the top of the bed. He got rid of the rest of his clothes before he crawled back into bed, sinking into you again. You both let out groans at the feeling of his fullness.

Tony threw nice and slow out the window, and immediately began drilling into you. Your moans turned into deafening screams as his hips bruised your pelvis. He pried your legs open, placing quick kisses along your neck as he did so, knowing it would drive you up the wall as well as comfort you. He bit and sucked harshly along your collar bone, sending your mind into a blissful haze. Your hands shot up to his back, clawing at the flesh. You left blood in your wake, as you raked your hands down the skin. He let out a growl at the feeling, thrusting harder into you as a result. 

Your second orgasm arrived quicker than your first, but the feeling was more intense. He left you writhing, and shaking on him, as ripples of pleasure coursed through your body. Giving you a minute to collect yourself he flipped you over, before saying, “I’m not done with you yet, princess.” 

A look of alarm spread on your features, when you looked behind you to see him lining himself up yet again. “Tony I don’t think I can cum again.” You whimpered. 

“Awe, I thought you were a big girl.” He teased, smirking as revenge for earlier. While he loved the way you look on top, it obviously hurt his dominating spirit when you took his control. He leaned down, grabbing the side of your face to better access your ear. You felt his hot breath fan the side of your cheek as he whispered, “You’re gonna take all of me, until I fill you up with my cum.” Then he let you go, causing you to fall forward. 

You were so turned on it didn’t make sense. You just had three orgasms rip through you, yet your pussy was begging for more. 

He slammed into you for a final time, this position trumping them all. He gripped your hips, locking in on you, giving you no chance of escape. That didn’t mean you wouldn’t try. You climbed to the top of the bed, trying to put a bit of space between yourself and Tony’s strokes, but he just pulled you back in, fucking you harder than before. 

Tears welled up in your eyes. The intensity was becoming entirely too much. Your nipples brushed your bedsheets the harder he fucked you into them. His balls slapped against your clit, every time he met your hips. And his grunts of pleasure from using you, sent you toppling over the edge for a third time. The stimulation sending you into a convulsing fit. You squirted against him, covering his member with your sticky wet cream. Luckily for you, he followed shortly after, coating your walls with his thick white seed. 

When you collapsed, he rolled to the other side of you, both of you breathing heavier than before.  When he caught his breath, you turned over to drape your naked body onto his. 

“Was I too rough” He asked, suddenly feeling like he went overboard.

“Absolutely not.” You giggled. “Please do that to me all the time.”

He smiled in response burying his nose in your hair. The smell of coconut immediately comforting him. “I love you Y/N.” He cooed.

You lifted your head from his chest to kiss him sweetly. “I love you too, Tony.” That was the last thing you both said, before drifting off into a peaceful slumber. 

Whether your relationship lasted a lifetime, or ended in a year, in this moment you were happy. Happy that you no longer had to hide from the world. Happy that he was finally in your arms again. Happy to want someone, who wanted you even more. 

Happy to exist at the same time as him. 

A/N: Please do not repost my work as your own. Comments, likes, and reblogs are encouraged. I love you all, and really hope you enjoyed this! Thank you for reading :)

[fortunatelylori]

This is a long one: having read all of the sympathetic and convincing Sidney Parker posts here, I am wonder if you’re letting Sidney off a little too easily? It seems to me that no matter how much he may want to find love (as has been so eloquently argued here), he has not yet learned true selfless love imo. His half proposal is a point in case. Consider the comparison with Babbers.

Sidney: “What a brute I was… I hope that I am a different man now… If I have changed at all it is in no small part to you. I have never wanted to put myself in someone else’s power before. I have never wanted to care for anyone but myself.”Lord B: “My dear girl don’t you know that I am in love with you… It’s enough that you like me and that you trust me…I have no wish to own you…i want to make you happy. I could never try to lead or constrain you, Esther. All I ask is to walk through life by you

I know he was just getting warmed up, but Sidney’s expression of love is still very firmly about his own development and his own realisation, while Babs’s expression of love is very much about what he hopes to give, and what it means to love. Sidney’s growth arc is incomplete and he still hasn’t fully earned Charlotte, whom Rose Williams has made so generous, brave and loveable. You have already pointed out that this is the midway point in the story, and I completely agree.

But I would love to hear your thoughts on how this circle can be squared: Are we supposed to think that Sidney has done something noble by pimping himself out to Eliza Campion for the sake of his feckless brother and disappointing and destroying his own happiness and, more importantly by JA rules, that of a young inexperienced woman whom he has publicly shouted at, exposed himself to, felt up, kissed, and half proposed to?

Andrew Davies has put Sidney in a hell of a bind: If he breaks it off with Eliza now, he’s a dishonourable cad. If Eliza breaks it off with him, Charlotte looks like second prize to his first great love in the world’s eyes. If he marries Eliza and she dies and he runs back to Charlotte, how can we expect Char to enter that “river” again?

The only comparable situation in JA is Elinor Dashwood and Edward Ferrars, and Edward’s honour was completely intact throughout: his secret engagement occurred when he was young and naïve; he retreated from Elinor once he realised he loved her before more damage was done; he stuck by the loathsome Miss Steele once their engagement was public despite wanting Elinor; Miss Steele throws him over for his brother making clear that she was only ever interested in money and feelings were not at stake.

By contrast, Sidney has broken the heart of an intelligent and worthy young woman for a venal and loveless marriage, though the cynical “bargain” seems to be that he try to love Eliza. Ugh. Badly done, Sidney! How can we redeem Sidney to the point of making him worthy of St. Charlotte? How can he be extricated from this mess without losing his honour and without making Charlotte suffer any further?I would love to see Charlotte released from the passivity she has been forced into here.

She has been robbed of any agency after being established as an active character – a toiler and a spinner. Perhaps she will concoct a way to save Sidney’s soul behind the scenes, showing him in the process what true selfless love looks and feels like. I have a weird feeling that in one episode someone said something like “Men need to be helped without ever knowing they’re being helped…” or something similar. That’s coming back to me now – maybe that’s the only direction this can take:

Charlotte orchestrates Sidney’s rescue with the help of Lady S and the Prince Regent and then retreats back to Heraclitus and rabbit hunting in Willingden, where Sidney comes to find her. After a spot of grovelling and sexy scything in the fields to show that he is not just a dandy city boy but a man of substance, he will win back our Charlotte. Whew! sorry forth long one, had to get it off my chest. Now, about that GOT ending…

Hey there!

Whew … that was INTENSE! Lol … I hope you really meant it when you said you wanted my thoughts on this take because you’re going to get them and …. I don’t think you’re going to like them.

So here goes nothing … I’m going to break this down into topics because your messages covers a lot of ground.

Firstly, the issue of selfless love:

When I was much, much, MUCH younger that I am now, I watched a little movie called Love Story (1970). This film was essentially The Notebook of my mother’s generation. And the most famous line in that film is:

Jenny: Love means never having to say you're sorry

The main female character is standing in the freezing cold with no way to enter her apartment because her husband got pissed off at her and bolted. And that’s what comes out of her mouth … Because love is selfless, right? You don’t need to apologize for anything EVER because love means never having to say you’re sorry.

Let me tell you something: THAT IS COMPLETE AND UTTER BULLSHIT! Anyone who believes romantic love should be selfless needs to reevaluate. The belief in selfless romantic love will not help anyone find that kind of love (because it doesn’t exist). What it will do is that it will allow that person to be prayed on by fuck bois/fuck girls everywhere because you are going to continually excuse their behavior … because you have to love them unconditionally, right? WRONG!

Selfless love is acceptable only in a parent-child dynamic. That’s it! As Cersei would put it:

Cersei: On that front, a mother has no choice

Romantic love is very much conditional on treatment, involvement and attraction. When it isn’t, that’s fertile ground for abuse.

You think this is romantic?

Babington: My dear girl, don’t you know that I am in love with you?

Esther: And what is that to me since I do not love you?

Babington: I don’t care. It’s enough that you like me and that you trust me.

What happens six months down the line when Babs catches Esther having sex with Edward in their marital bed? Do you think he’s still not going to care she doesn’t love him back? What Babington is doing in his proposal is lying to himself. No person who has ever been in love ever genuinely does not care if the object of his affection loves him back. We all want to be loved back. We pretend we don’t because we’re so desperate to have that person that we think we’re able to live without it or, most likely, because we think we can talk them round into loving us.

To be clear, I don’t think Esther will cheat on Babington with Edward. But you can bet your bottom dollar Edward will be coming back into her life in season 2 and that she won’t be over him. Guess who will get his heart put through the ringer?

Sidney’s proposal, on the other hand, is very much how an adult should suggest a lifelong commitment to another adult.

Sidney: If I have changed at all, it’s in no small part down to you. I have never wanted to put myself in someone else’s power before. I’ve never wanted to care for anyone but myself.

In his speech what Sidney is laying out is the following: I am well aware I have issues and that we’ve clashed around those issues time and time again. I am committing myself to fixing them because you make me want to do better. I have trust issues but you make me want to hand you my heart because I know you won’t hurt me. I want to share my life with you and make your needs a priority in my life because you make me less selfish.

I’m sorry … but I’ll take Sidney’s proposal over Babington’s any day of the week because Sidney has a plan for our future (lol) while Babington knows I don’t love him but he is so blinded by infatuation that he can’t see he’s promising something he can’t deliver on … and most crucially no one should deliver on.  

Sidney’s growth arc is incomplete and he still hasn’t fully earned Charlotte, whom Rose Williams has made so generous, brave and loveable.

I agree that Sidney’s arc is incomplete but so is Charlotte’s. She’s not fully come into her own either and this isn’t a matter of one character being flawless while the other has to work his way to her perfection.

Sidney doesn’t need to earn Charlotte because Charlotte is not a possession, she’s a person and Sidney is not some lecherous monster that needs to go through the 7 circles of hell in order to “earn” anything. Sidney and Charlotte are two people that have had some conflicts but nothing truly disastrous (until Sidney proposes to Eliza, that is) and in which they both have had their share of blame. It’s not like Sidney has been the sole aggressor in all of this. Charlotte has insulted him and mocked him in an assortment of ways.

In the end they have chosen to put those differences aside and have come together with a new understanding of who the other person is. They’ve chosen to love each other and accept each other’s flaws. There is no discrepancy in worth between the two of them that needs to be addressed by Sidney.

What should happen in a potential season 2 is that he will need to rebuild Charlotte’s trust after breaking it with his engagement to Eliza. But that discussion is separate since his initial proposal comes before the Tom Parker realizes he doesn’t have insurance debacle.

Are we supposed to think that Sidney has done something noble by pimping himself out to Eliza Campion for the sake of his feckless brother and disappointing and destroying his own happiness and, more importantly by JA rules, that of a young inexperienced woman whom he has publicly shouted at, exposed himself to, felt up, kissed, and half proposed to?

I think what we’re supposed to take from Sidney’s decision to sacrifice his happiness to help his brother is that his “outlier” facade was just that … a façade. Beneath all that is a man who is willing to go to extremes for the people he cares about. I also think that it shows Sidney, despite his outward confidence, doesn’t really love himself that much.

You’re making the mistake of assuming Sidney’s decision to marry Eliza is a rejection of Charlotte. I wouldn’t blame Charlotte for thinking it but we have a 360 view of the story that she doesn’t have the luxury of having.

We know Sidney loves her. We know he is heartbroken at having to let her go. But he doesn’t want his brother to go to jail and he has only 1 week to figure out a way out of the hole Tom has dug himself into. I’m pretty sure Eliza was the last option on the list of things Sidney tried to do in order to help his brother.

As for your implication that Sidney somehow dishonored Charlotte, it’s pretty obvious from the tone of the show that the whole “there always has to be a chaperone” and “no kissing before marriage” etc. are not rules they are choosing to include in their version of the regency. Charlotte leaves Sanditon with her reputation intact. It is her heart that is broken and I’d be willing to bet that in Sidney’s mind, he has already convinced himself that she will recover very quickly while he will be in pain for the rest of his life. Because … as I’ve said … he doesn’t love himself enough to realize just how much Charlotte loves him.

If he breaks it off with Eliza now, he’s a dishonourable cad. If Eliza breaks it off with him, Charlotte looks like second prize to his first great love in the world’s eyes. If he marries Eliza and she dies and he runs back to Charlotte, how can we expect Char to enter that “river” again? The only comparable situation in JA is Elinor Dashwood and Edward Ferrars, and Edward’s honour was completely intact throughout

I’m not sure what your point is here? For starters, who cares what “the world” thinks? Charlotte will know that Sidney loves her and only her and that his engagement with Eliza was an act of desperation on his part. And so will we, the viewers, because and I quote:

Sidney: I don’t love her, you know.

Charlotte and Sidney’s situation is exactly the same as Eleanor and Edward’s, with the exception that Sidney didn’t flirt with Charlotte and almost proposed to her while being engaged to someone else the way Edward does.

And if we are going to take “the world’s” opinion into account, I’m pretty sure people very much speculated that Edward was nursing a broken heart over the woman for whom he risked everything, was disinherited and that abandoned him to marry his brother. After all why else would he retreat to the countryside and marry the almost old maid with no fortune, Eleanor Dashwood? See how you can spin anything into something negative if you want to?

How can we redeem Sidney to the point of making him worthy of St. Charlotte?

Sigh … Sidney has always been worthy of Charlotte. He is a good man ... with great AAAABBBSSSS. And while Charlotte getting her heart broken is deeply sad, I think it’s safe to say it’s Sidney that has gotten the truly shitty end of the stick. He has tied himself to a woman whom he does not love and who treats him like he’s her dog.

I don’t think people realize just how hopeless his situation is. It’s not like if he marries Eliza, he can get a divorce a few years down the line. He is stuck with the woman who betrayed him 10 years ago for the rest of his life. And he’s in this situation not even because of his own venal desires or greed. He’s in it to save his brother … a brother that will probably ruin himself regardless. That kind of thing eats at a person.

Charlotte’s state, on the other hand, is not permanent. I’m not trying to minimize her pain. Heartbreak is horrible and deeply traumatizing. But as everyone who has gone through it can tell you, it eventually goes away. You recover, you move on.

I don’t think she will need to go through the entire letting go process because she and Sidney will be reunited and everything will work out for the best but if she had to, she would go through it and come out the other side even stronger than she is now.

I would love to see Charlotte released from the passivity she has been forced into here. She has been robbed of any agency after being established as an active character – a toiler and a spinner. Perhaps she will concoct a way to save Sidney’s soul behind the scenes, showing him in the process what true selfless love looks and feels like.

See … this is confusing to me. On the one hand you think Sidney isn’t worthy of Charlotte, on the other you want her to save him. I would suggest it’s not Charlotte’s job to extract Sidney from the shitty situation he’s in. He has to do that for himself.

As for Charlotte being robbed of agency … what’s that even based on? What was she supposed to do in that situation? It’s not like there’s 80.000 pounds hidden under the Heywood family tree that Lassie can dig up …

After a spot of grovelling and sexy scything in the fields to show that he is not just a dandy city boy but a man of substance, he will win back our Charlotte

And this is the part where you truly lost me … As a born and bred city girl, with a generational line of city dwellers dating back centuries, I will have you know I have SUBSTANCE, ok?!?! I have many, many substances … I’m oh so substantiated and stuff.

All joking aside, why does Sidney need to prove that he is a man of substance? What the hell has he done to make anyone assume he isn’t?

I guess in the end our conflicting views come from our perceptions of Sidney as a person. I don’t think Sidney is a bad boy that needs to be redeemed through his love for Charlotte. I think he has always been a good man who is trying to do his best for those around him, who has had to deal with some pretty shitty situations in his life and who is involved in at least one toxic relationship (with his brother). In addition to that, he has a self-destructive streak (people who get dumped don’t necessarily react to it by setting fire to their whole lives and almost dying in the process) which makes it easy for him to prioritize Tom’s well-fare over his own life.

The reason why he falls so deeply in love with Charlotte is because she offers him a real chance of breaking out of those patterns and being able to be seen and loved for who he is. The problem is that toxic past relationships are still very much encroaching on his ability to move on with his life in a healthy way.

In order to break free, what Sidney needs isn’t to be saved. What he needs is to put a stop to the negative patterns that exist at the core of his relationship with Tom (and Mary by extension) and to put the whole Eliza relationship to rest.  

[quatschmachen]

Sparks

Continuation of Jasper pt 4

Masterpost

Hapo finally is allowing me to post this after being incredibly mean and forcing me to rewrite it like at least five (5) times.

Happy Monmonton day!

XXXXXX

The trees leant in around them and Edward was not sure whether they were trying to protect or simply listen in. Hand warm, fingers twined like roots with the other man’s; his heart in between beats, holding pieces of disbelief that this was actually happening. Irrationally he wondered if the trees would have the answers if he asked, if by opening his mouth the rustling of the branches, the fresh pine needles would form answers to the surge of worries that seemed released from the pit of his stomach in a herd of butterflies. He knew that to fully listen to what they had to say would involve complete alone time. He did not want to be alone, he was too enamoured with the warmth, where it felt like that part of him that he thought he had laid to rest, the part that had never rested easy, was exploding into new life again, where the possibilities were surging from his toes to the tips of his hair. He kept looking at the man beside him, the small smile, the sparkle in his eye, his mind internally screaming that there was no way this was real. That this was in fact a complete stranger next to him holding his hand, a stranger inhabiting the body of the man he had loved for so long, the man he thought he could never truly have.

The scent of the other man clung to his skin, lips plump from kissing, as the words kept wanting to pour out, he had over a decade to fully catch up, a decade to…  the words spoken on the mountain like the early spring torrents which turns the bank of the rivers soft and messy, where if you’re not careful your foot can sink up to your knee into the churned mud, the water once a trickle raging down flowing over the banks and flooding. The once sure path of the river broken, the water moving amongst the trees, depositing silt on the bike path, blocking the once true ways forcing one to turn back. It wasn’t simply flowers budding, or the birds swooping, it was the absolute mess of spring, where the potential screamed from the lilacs, but the winter mold still lurked in the shadows of the bushes with the not yet entirely melted snow.

When something good happened something worse would occur. That hollow pit in his stomach which he had gotten used to like a bad tooth, the one that he had assumed would be his eternal rock, when the words between them failed, it was uncomfortably blossoming, the hollows taking root through their twined fingers, and he was unsure if he was ready to change. The change so desperately desired was suddenly happening too fast, all his thoughts stuttering if the man he loved was the person or the memory, where the torrents of doubt eddied in his heart and mind. The uncomfortable gnawing at the bottom of his gut like the eternal serpent ready to spread in a conflagration of the soul, a soft guilt which had immediately settled down in the post orgasmic haze, the realization that he had crossed a line which could not be uncrossed – which he would not want to uncross ever. Unconsciously his grip slightly tightened as the slow burning panic began to set in, the panic which he absolutely could not fucking show because he knew it was unreasonable, unfounded. There had been discussions, it was not as if Calvin would not know about this. Perhaps… he hadn’t expected things to move so fast. Part of him could not believe that Calvin would actually be ok with it. He knew how insecure the other man was, how the veneer of confidence was only skin deep, where despite how much trust and growth in their relationship Edward still worried that beneath them instead of firm roots curling together it was the weakest of concrete easily battered away by the pounding waves of stress. He knew how Calvin cracked under stress, knew how despite the ever-present smile, that the slightest push would crack him like lightning.

His concern only grew as they approached the campsite. Thud. He was not sure if it was simply his heart or something else. Thud. It was not just his heart, Étienne seemed to notice it too. Thud. Glance shared, Étienne letting out a soft nervous chuckle. Thud.

The echo of rhythmic chopping surrounded them. It would pause, as the wood was changed and then start up again, as if whoever was chopping was getting ready for winter, the thud of the axe biting into the wood, splitting the log and as they got closer, the thunk as the wood hit the soft earth. It was a focused rhythm as if the person doing it was doing it for true survival and not pleasure.

His heart settled somewhere in his throat as the campsite came into view, his suspicions correct as he saw Calvin, t-shirt soaked through with sweat, in a steady stance, a pile of wood beside him, splitting the logs. Giving Étienne’s hand a reassuring squeeze, he let go, stepping apart self-consciously as if trying to pretend that nothing between them had happened. No major change. That he was not internally panicking, where the fears of once more losing everything appeared inside of him as he looked at the red face of Calvin, the sweat on his brow, his chest moving heavy as he breathed, shirt sticking to his chest in uneven wrinkles.

Taking in a slightly nervous breath and ignoring the quizzical look Étienne was giving him, Edward gathered what remained of his courage and strode forward,  his confident voice ringing forward like  a spoon hitting tin, “Goldilocks, you look as if we’re going to be buildin’ a cabin here with how much wood you’re chopping.”

Calvin carefully placed a wedge of wood into a split gently gave it a knock, the log splitting beautifully. Neatly he set the axe down on the ground, wiped his forehead and turned towards Edward, his eyes moving from Edward to Étienne, and back to Edward again, clearly searching for some sort of answer, worried brown eyes too easy to read, where the momentary hesitation was quickly covered by a brilliant smile, specifically to put everyone at ease. The bullshit smile Edward knew so well from the tense business negotiations, the one that after when in private Calvin would mention how he never thought he would pull that off ever, and then laugh nervously, asking whether the other party was a fucking idiot for even agreeing.

“Y’know how Mac likes his fires,” Calvin lightly joked, his voice rasping slightly.

Edward was already digging out his water bottle from his small backpack and offered it to Calvin who thankfully took it and messily swallowed large gulps of water which leaked from the corners of his mouth and hit his already wet shirt. Wiping his mouth on his arm, Calvin handed the nearly empty bottle back. Fingers brushing, Edward impulsively leant forward and placed a soft kiss upon his cheek, which flushed redder.

“Edward?” Calvin asked, the single word holding an eternity of questions.

“C’mon we need to talk.” He looked towards Étienne, giving a reassuring smile, “I just gotta fill him in.” Getting a nod from Étienne, who even if he was somewhat an idiot when it came to big important emotional things (perhaps Edward was still salty over certain scenarios), he was at least reasonable about it.

He guided Calvin away from the camp, to a place where they had more privacy, his fingers twining reassuringly with Calvin’s, standing amongst the pines.

Calvin seemed to be looking everywhere but him, the words timidly escaping clenched lips, “S-so how’d it go?”

Taking a deep breath, Edward said, “Well, you could say good,” he realized that there was going to be no pussy footing about this, that it was probably better to tear the band-aid off and get down to business, “We most definitely made up, enough to, uhm,” just saying the word suddenly felt embarrassing, but he knew that if he wanted to be open and honest with Calvin, he would have to say it, “have sex.”

Calvin stared at him in shock his entire face turning bright crimson, “You – you – you – and he – did it!??”

“Yeah.”

“But --- I thought that would come later – you mean you did it --- out in the open --- where people could see you!?”

“Well sort of, we were alone and y’know making up and stuff…” Edward shrugged, somewhat endeared by how embarrassed on their behalf Calvin was acting. Endeared but also worried as Calvin’s eyes filled with tears.

Calvin stared down at the ground, shoulders slumping, “Sex, huh? So… what does that mean for us?”

Rolling his eyes, Edward huffed, “I KNEW you were going to react this way even after the ten thousand assurances.”

His head snapped up as he looked Edward straight in the eye for the first time, “Act in what way?” came the heated childish defense as he furiously wiped at his eyes.

“Act like I’m going to run away and join the circus leaving you heavily pregnant with seven children,” Edward snapped. He knew his words hit home from the shocked expression on Calvin’s face and he decided to press on while he had the opportunity, “Which I’m not – Calvin.” He took in a breath, shifted so that they were closer, taking advantage of the fact that he had refused to let go of the other man’s hand the entire time, leaning up and placing a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. “I’m just gonna do what you suggested. The suggestion that I had outright refused at first…” settling back onto his heels, Edward looked away but realized he ought to be looking him in the eyes for this, said firmly, “I’m going to be with both of you.”  

“B-both?” Calvin sniffled, looking confused.

Gently, Edward reached up to brush away a tear, “I was hesitant because I knew you would react badly, that you seem to be under the impression that the minute I touch Étienne’s dick it’s over between us… Calvin… I love you for a multitude of reasons, I love you in ways I could never love Étienne, and I suppose it’s the same with him. You’re both unique individuals whom enrich my life and who I would terribly miss if you were gone from it.”

Surprise, then, “Oh.” Calvin was blushing furiously.

“Cal, look, you may be able to fool the others with your self-assured man-of-the-world act, but you’re not fooling me and I know you’ve been worried sick about this the entire time, even when you’ve been acting like some sort of strange matchmaker,” Edward slipped his arms around Calvin’s waist, and leant his head upon the taller man’s chest, “Which is why I took so long to make up my goddam mind, and honestly I hadn’t even made it up when you did your over-dramatic act about napping in the tent-”

“Actually I did nap I’d like to have you know-”

“-over dramatic still.” Edward murmured as he placed a soft kiss on Calvin’s neck, and then cheek, chin, nose, and finally his mouth. “I love you, even if you are stupid and insecure.”

“Thanks,” Calvin grumped, but a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, “Am I really that obvious?”

“To me you are. I’ve been watching you fake it ‘til you make it ever since you were a kid trying to be Chicago,” Edward grinned, “In my opinion you became even better than Chicago, a lot hotter as well.”

Calvin squirmed slightly, and finally, returned the embrace, his arms encircling the smaller man, hands rather proprietarily resting on his butt.  “You sure know what to say to put a man at ease there, pardner. Maybe I should be worried you’re going to be out there seducing every man that crosses your path.”

“I could if I wanted to,” Edward seriously responded, but it was given away by the small smile he couldn’t quite contain, “But between you and Étienne I have my hands full, you two are grade-A drama queens.”

“D-drama queens?” Calvin choked in mock outrage, “I’ll have you know my dramatic performances have sealed many a deal for my company - which helped build your swanky eco house I might add.”

“Our swanky eco house,” Edward corrected.

“Our swanky eco house,” Calvin repeated slowly, and then softly smiled, “so you’re not ditching me to move to Morial to live with your no-good man who drinks too much and sleeps with anyone but you?”

“Hey that’s pretty damning,” Edward joked, “No, I’m not ditching you, I promise. Hell, I’ll even seal the deal with a high-speed train on it.”

Snorting, Calvin murmured, “That’s a real sweet promise but that’s been in talks for ages, I’m not so sure about the follow through.”

“Looks like you’ll have to keep me accountable then,” Edward teased, “keep checking up on me to keep that promise.”

“I suppose I will…” Calvin paused, “Hey so uhm, changing topic but how the hell is this supposed to work, us sharing a tent and all if you two are gonna be all mushy and stuff, because while I will accept you being in a relationship with another man, I swear to god if you’re going to be having sex right beside me I will break both your legs.”

Edward rolled his eyes, “Oh my god Calvin, we’re not idiots, I just figured I would sleep between ya and we will be a snuggle pile. We’ll obviously fuck in the showers or something, y’know, more private,” he winked as he said this, enjoying the shocked expression on Calvin’s face, “ In the tent though… Maybe some stolen kisses?”

“Only if I also get some stolen kisses will I approve of this plan.” Calvin firmly stated.

“Please, you’ll end up in your usual position spooning my back, kissing my neck,” Edward teased.

“You complaining about that position now?”

“Not complaining, just stating fact…” Edward paused looking deeply into Calvin’s brown eyes, thinking how lucky he was to be with this man. This understanding man who kept him by not chaining him to his side, a relationship of choice and consent, where each day waking up next to him was a considered decision, a sense of safety and peace. “So… if you could please not kill Étienne…”

Calvin raised an eyebrow, “Well I dunno… I think red might be his colour.”

Edward rolled his eyes.

“But seriously – uhm so if you and Étienne are boyfriends… what am I to him?”

“Shit, I didn’t think that far – whatever you want it to be?” Edward frowned, “You could be his boyfriend or just friend. We have time to figure that stuff out, don’t we? I mean – we can all grow together and whatever settles into place is it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Ed….”

“Mmm?”

“Why are you walking so weird…”

Edward sighed, “I threw my back out fucking…”

A loud peal of laughter came from Calvin, “Oh my god, you literally injured your back fucking in the woods?!”

“Sh-shut up!”

“Never!” Calvin teased as he bear-hugged Edward and lifted him, giving him a slight twirl.

“C-calvin—” Edward laughed, “Put me down!”

Calvin squeezed hard and then gently put him down. “Alright… so basically you can’t get wood or chop wood or anything because you’re too old to fuck?”

“Hey, excuse me,” Edward lightly slapped Calvin.

“Fine I’ll get your new boy toy to help me, unless he also is crippled? Geez I guess he is older than you… so perhaps… he managed to break something? “

“No… he’s fine I think…” Edward grumbled as they returned to the camp. Étienne was sitting on a log smoking, his face slightly worried, but the expression shifted as they came to view, quickly covering up whatever it was he may have been thinking.

“Yooo Etsy,” Calvin grinned as he picked up the axe, “I’m gonna have to take you out into the woods for a bit and use your body since Eddy here is an old man.”

Étienne’s eyes slowly moved from the glistening blade of the axe, over to Edward who didn’t seem worried that Calvin just invited him into some unknown woods with an axe and stood up.

“Sure.” He stretched like a cat, then walked over to Edward, “Hey do you have your thing?”

Edward frowned, “Thing?”

“The little cigarette thing you keep using.”

“Oh right.” Edward sheepishly glanced at Calvin as he dug out the container and opened it so that Étienne could safely deposit it. While he was focused on that Étienne leant in and snuck a kiss, which he murmured was ‘for luck.’ Edward blushed a deep crimson as he fumbled with the container as he placed it back into his pocket.

Étienne had smoothly moved away, gently mussing Calvin’s hair. “What do you need me to do?”

Calvin frowned at Étienne, as he attempted to pat his hair back into some sort of order, as he began to walk away from the camp, “Carry wood.”

“I’ve been known to do that,” Étienne joked feeling slightly disappointed when Calvin didn’t even crack a smile.  There was still a tense set to the other man’s shoulders, and logically he knew nothing much should happen, but he still had issues reading him. Calvin was like a sunshower to him, smiling brightly while still projecting the opposite of his claims.

What had Edward had told Calvin? What he should or shouldn’t say? The once sure lines between them had become blurred, and there was a part of him, the one that had been slowly warming up to the man, enjoying his company as a friend, that wondered with the lines changing, if he had lost even that.

The ground beneath them was soft, the pine needles scattered across the dirt track, as Étienne followed, with only the vaguest ideas of where the woodpile might be.

Calvin’s pace slowed, allowing Étienne to catch up easier, and Calvin shot him a sly look, his cheeks slightly flushed as if he was still trying to find words to fit his meanings, until finally he managed to shyly say, “Edward told me you two uh fuh--… really made up.”

Étienne frowned trying to interpret it, then asked for clarification, “You mean he said we had sex?”

Calvin brightly coloured, “Yes. But! But – I –I meant more that you two finally confessed undying love and uhm stuff.”  He was firmly looking away, but his ears were burning that bright red that Étienne had associated with Calvin being massively uncomfortable.

Feeling lightheaded and not sure what to respond, the words on the mountaintop suddenly feeling thousands of years away, a dreamlike quality settling over them, Étienne tried to root himself, figure out where to grasp onto from here.

“Yeah… what…what are you trying to say?” He asked warily.

Calvin abruptly stopped, Étienne nearly crashing into him, his nose smushing into Calvin’s warm arm, giving him that strong scent of natural salty odour mixed with the fresh mountain air and something sweet he could not quite name.

Rubbing his nose as he regained his balance, Étienne looked at the other man’s pensive face, his gaze dropping to Calvin’s fingers fidgeting along the smooth wooden handle of the axe, fingers which rubbed with the thumb moving in wide circles.

Realizing what Étienne was looking at, Calvin hefted the axe onto his shoulder, the better to hide his hand behind his head, as he looked at Étienne, carefully choosing the words. The words not coming, and the arm tiring, Calvin once more lowered the axe, this time, the head tumping onto the ground lightly by his foot as he let it stand upright between them, his hand releasing the handle as it balanced upon its heavy head.

Soft brown eyes finally focused on him, and finally, quietly, he began. “For a long time you two have been unhappy. No matter what I did, even though I knew Edward loved me, there was a part of him that was consistently unhappy because of how things went between you two.” He paused to draw in a shaky breath, as if the words were being pulled out of him like taffy, “I’m only allowing this because I want Edward to be truly happy, and while, I would have preferred to have him all to myself… I don’t own him.” A small sigh, his gaze wavering as if he was still not entirely sure how to continue, but once the words started to come they just didn’t seem to stop, reluctantly leaving him one molasses word at a time, “I would rather share him with you than accidentally come upon him in the middle of the night crying as he crouches in front of the wood heated oven trying to cook bagels.” As Étienne started in surprise, Calvin raised an eyebrow, as if to silently confirm that had in fact actually happened. His voice took on a slight urgency, as he tried to express how important it was that Étienne really listen to what he was saying, his hand reached out and grasped the man’s shoulder tightly,  “You are part of him that I probably will never truly know and… I’ve had time to become ok with that, in fact I’ve had to become ok with that. However…” his gaze flickered down to the axe between them, then back up at him, his once expressive face hardening, his thumb uncomfortably pressing into Étienne’s fleshy shoulder, “If you fuck around with this, especially now you two have managed to get your heads out of your asses, if you… decide to back out and not take Edward up on his offer…” He took a heavy breath his lower lip trembling, the next words coming out in that strange even tone of someone trying not to cry, “I am not going to give you a second chance.”

To say the words hit him heavy would be understating the impact. Étienne knew that Calvin was dead serious, and after swallowing and attempting to get his heart beat under control (he was at this point not sure if it was fear, or attraction to a man who would so fiercely protect Edward he would wordlessly threaten death), that Étienne gave a nod of understanding.

“I would have you know that I plan to be a very irritating part of your life from here on in,” Étienne smoothly purred, still conscious of the man’s tight grip on his shoulder. “You’ll regret even giving me one chance.”

Calvin’s grip slightly loosened as he quietly asked, “And why would I regret that, Maisonneuve?”

The words slipped out before he could even think them through, “I’m better left behind, all I do is create pain—” his eyes widened, as he realized the words, and he tried to save it, his smile cocky, “-since I’m gonna fuck your boyfriend raw.”

Calvin’s eyes narrowed, his hand shifting from the shoulder to grip Étienne’s chin lightly, inspecting the other man intently, as if he could see through the slips, go through the cracks that Étienne so tightly held together with twine, “Bucko boy, y’aint got nothing on my youthful vigor. While you’re recovering in a chair after round one, Eddy’s gonna be wanting the younger stallion.”

“You wish.” Étienne challenged.

Releasing him, Calvin picked up the axe, turned, and gave a shrug, “We’ll see if you can actually keep your promises then.”

“There’s only two things I’m good at, I’ll have you know, Fucking people and fucking up.” Étienne proudly announced.

“Guess I’ll just have to hope you live up to your name and fuck up fucking then!” Calvin teased.

There was a somewhat less tense silence as they reached to wood pile, Calvin piling the logs up into Étienne’s bag and then arms.

“Uhm how much wood do we need, fairly certain Edward was right about the log cabin?”

Rolling his eyes, Calvin said, “Fine, we do have enough… I’m just enjoying weighing you down to ensure you don’t run away… I guess we better get back to the camp before Edward thinks I’ve murdered you with an axe.”

“There are worse ways to go, but I’m not sure its safe to roast weenies over bloodsoaked logs.”

“It could be interesting?”

“Interesting?” Étienne huffed as he shifted the logs, trying to keep pace with Calvin’s longer strides.

“Maybe that could be made into a candle scent too…” Calvin mused.

“I swear to god if you are going to use my blood soaked logs to be the next goddam Canuck candle, it better be maple wood logs.”

“I promise,” Calvin glanced back his grin wide, his wink not reassuring.

“You say that with a smile of a liar!” Étienne accused, “You need to fully promise!”

“Oh my god, I promise on Edward Augustus Murphy’s Sasakatoon Rhubarb Pie I will proactively soak some maple logs with your blood and then convert that into a candle smell.”

“Good! Also… that pie sounds good, when does he make it?”

“Oh, now? Well we’re camping, but he makes pies whenever… it’s sort of really great living with him,” Calvin modestly stated.

“Yeah no shit.”

“Mm enough to move out west for?”

“Hmmm, too bad I live in the best city, so therefore… no.” Étienne responded.

Rolling his eyes, Calvin looked forward again, and then exclaimed, “Oh hey! Camp!”

A loud bark informed him that the others were back from the walk, and as the sky started to streak with the purples and pinks of the slowly setting sun, he realized that despite all his wondering about Calvin he actually felt rather relaxed about everything. For the first time in a very long time, he had the slightest of hopes that things would work out as they should.

“Jaysus almighty, how much wood we needs eh?” Mac exclaimed as he walked into view with a tray of steaks. “Didn’ think we’s moved ta here!”

Calvin rolled his eyes, “You know how it is! It’s better to stock up and be prepared!”

As the food cooked, Étienne found himself employed in keeping the fire burning, finding himself not exactly participating into the conversation, but more of an observer. Sitting on the log he watched the others take up the various roles in preparing the food, his mind turning blank and fuzzy, unable to really think too much at the moment, simply being in the moment, content. His mind kept wanting to focus on the conversation with Calvin, but whenever he thought too hard about it, his focus would slip, or the dog would bark, or Caroline would tell a particularly funny joke. Sitting back to let Mac move the grill over the fire, Étienne let out a sigh, realizing that the tension he had been carrying for the past few weeks had mostly gone. Perhaps… things were actually going to be ok.

Not perfect… he glanced over to Edward who was surreptitiously sitting near him on the log, his preparation duties done. Moving his fire stick to his other hand, Étienne casually moved his hand closer to Edward’s, fingers barely touching, simply waiting, watching from the corner of his eye as Edward shifted, his hand conveniently overlapping his… but enough.

The sparks flew up into the darkening sky, the trees around them tall soldiers, the fire turning more brilliant as the steaks hissed and sizzled.

[archivedmusesbyr1x1]

YOU’RE MY WHAT…? <> ASHANTI & EDWARD

Ashanti’s head was pounding when she woke up the next morning. It took a while for her to open her eyes and when she did, she was immediately reminded of what happened the night before. Edward was still sleeping. Poor guy must be exhausted after all that sex. Not wanting to disturb his slumber, she tried to get up as quietly as she could, but of course she couldn’t, he was already stirring awake, his arms immediately tightening around her waist. “I guess you’re awake…” She said and flinched when her head began hurting again. “God, why did we drink so much last night?”

Edward was sleeping very soundly after the night he just had with Ashanti, but he wouldn’t change anything at all about that night. Well maybe he wouldn’t have drank so much, but everything after that, was amazing. He felt Ashanti starting to stir, he pulled her back to him, “Where do you think you’re going? It’s too early for us to get up.” He heard her talking about her headache, “Let me get you some aspirins, and we can order breakfast.”

Ashanti forgot about her headache for a moment and laughed, “I had to pee. You really think I was going to sneak out of here without saying something?” She shook her head because she knew she wouldn’t be able to sneak out even if she tried. They ran in the same circles, it would be awkward to have to face him again if she did. “Aspirin would be good, but I don’t think I can eat anything. My stomach don’t feel so good.”

Edward smiled, “I’m glad that you wouldn’t sneak out and leave me all alone.” He was actually relieved that she wouldn’t do that. He wanted her to know that he was really feeling her, and wanted to see what could happen between them. But it could be too soon after what they had just went through, so he was going to leave it alone for now. He nodded, “Okay, you go to the bathroom, and I will get you some aspirin, but you should eat something, even if it’s just some toast and juice.”

“I’m not going to. Trust me.” Ashanti stated and then began teasing him, “Besides, I’m not even close to being done with you yet.” Although she knew that it was a bad idea to keep a sexual relationship with Edward, she couldn’t stop herself from wanting more. Aside from that, he was kind to her and never once made her feel like she was lacking. How could she not want him again? “Yeah, I should definitely do that. I can’t promise I will eat a lot but for you, I’ll try.” She dragged the cover from the bed then, her gaze immediately making contact with the mark on his thigh. It was a soulmark, which matched hers. “You’ve got to be kidding me…” She muttered as she looked down at her own soulmark and just like she thought, it matched his.

Edward smiled, “That’s good to know, because I am not done with you either my dear.” He winked at her, and sat up to grab some aspirin out of the nightstand. He was glad that Ashanti was agreeing to eat something for him, “Thank you, I’m looking out for you,” He was opening the bottle, and looked up, when he felt her eyes staring at him, “What?” He stood up and made his way over to her, “What’s wrong? You act like you just seen a ghost.” He was starting to get concerned, because her entire mood just shifted, “Ashanti….baby, talk to me.”

Ashanti felt like she was being pranked. How could it be possible that the man she was in love with was her friend’s soulmate and she was the other princess’ fiance’s soulmate? That just shouldn’t happen, right? Someone had to be fucking with her…with them. “Your thigh. Look at your thigh.” She pointed and then continued, “You have the same soulmark as me.” Her pointer finger pointed to her mark under her belly button. “This has got to be a joke! You’re not my…my soulmate…” The word soulmate was said softly because she didn’t want it to be true. It just couldn’t be…

It felt like forever before Ashanti started to speak, and when she did he was shocked at the words coming out of her mouth. He was fully aware of the soulmark on his thigh, and when she told him to look at it, he was confused. But then she told him to look at her belly button, and sure enough, right underneath, it was the matching soulmark. “What the…” He blinked his eyes a few more times, and looked again, “This is a joke….somebody is pranking us. Because if this is real, the irony of it all is insane!” He shook his head in disbelief.

Ashanti wanted to kick something, preferably whatever deity who thought that it would be a good idea to give her a soulmate. She always thought that the mark was a birthmark because she honestly didn’t believe that there would be a man who was made just to complete her, despite knowing of soulmates. It didn’t look like Edward was amuzed either. Not that she could blame him. They were engaged in sex the night before only to wake up and find out that they were destined to be with each other. “It’s bullshit! I don’t believe in it.” She said referring to soulmates. “So if you feel like you have to marry me or whatever chilvarious thing that you think you have to do, don’t worry, you’re off the hook.”

This was unreal the irony of all this was just too much to handle. They had just been dumped by people who were soulmates, and the only reason they hooked up was because they were trying to get over their exes. But now they both find out that they were soulmates. He shook his head and started laughing. He wasn’t upset that they were soulmates, he just thought it was rather amusing that this was how they found out. He was brought out of his own musings, by Ashanti’s words, and he shook his head, “What are you talking about? Not that I am trying to get married right away, but we are soulmates, and this is happening whether we like it or not. I mean we have touched, and activated the mark, there is no going back now. We can try to fight it, but is it so bad that we are soulmates? I mean, we definitely have chemistry already.” He smirked, and pulled her in his arms, and kissed her deeply.

Ashanti didn’t want Edward to think that he owed her something. She was being sincere about her words. The whole concept of soulmates creeped her out anyway. Although, it had a hint of sweetness to it when it didn’t involve her–two people born for each other–she never wanted one. And after the whole debacle with Andrew and Charlotte, she definitely was even more turned off by it. He should really be thanking her for letting him off the hook, instead what came out of his mouth had her jaw dropping and before she could even get a word in, he was already kissing her. Everything in her body and soul told her that this was right, that she belonged to him, but her mind was screaming her for to push him away and somehow, she was able to abide its call. “No!” She shook her head and retreated. “I don’t want this. Don’t you see, it’s unnatural. What happened to people meeting and falling for each other naturally, huh? Have you forgotten what just happened with Charlotte and Andrew?”

Edward didn’t expect any of this, but her reaction was not exactly what he thought she would do. And of course what just happened with Andrew and Charlotte, put a sour taste in her mouth, but this reaction still shocked him. “Not natural? What is so unnatural about it? I mean we didn’t just see the mark and assume that we needed to be together. We made a connection, and although a slight drunken one, I still remember it, and I know we have a strong connection. Now I am not saying we have to get married tomorrow, or even start dating, but I just don’t want you to push me away.” He looked down at her, “We can go as slow as you like, and it can still be natural.”

Ashanti didn’t even like bringing up Charlotte and Andrew, but she had to make Edward see reason. This–whatever it was they shared–could never happen. She wasn’t going to allow it. He was a kind man, he deserved better than to be with someone like her. She was broken after what Andrew did to her, and not only that, she was also bitter. She didn’t want him to have to feel like the had no choice but to be with her, just because some stupid deity deemed that she was his. She wanted him to have a choice. “I don’t believe in it, Edward… I don’t believe in soulmates. Just because we have the marks, it doesn’t mean that I want it. I don’t want you to be bound to me because of it.” She stated with a sigh, “It’s not that I want to push you away. I just can’t forget that I was in love…still am in love with Andrew. And I know you’re still in love with Charlotte too.”

Well this was not how he thought this morning was going to start, he was hoping for maybe a little morning sex, some breakfast, with plans to see each other later, for more hot sex. But this was the complete opposite of that, and it sucked. He believed in soulmates, and the marks, but hearing that Ashanti didn’t threw him, “You don’t believe in it? Wow, I never heard that before. But if you don’t believe in it, then don’t, I can respect that. But does that mean we have to stop hanging out? I mean, I never said we have to be glued at the hip, or wait for each other, but we should be able to hang out.” He rolled his eyes at the mention of Andrew and Charlotte, “Love…I am starting to wonder if that was even real….if love is real. But I am not going to walk away from a good person that I like hanging around. We don’t have to date, just hang out.”

Ashanti hated the fact that she still loved Andrew. One would think that she would be able to forget him right away, especially seeing as her soulmate was standing right in front of her. Well, apparently she was wrong. Her feelings for the King hadn’t changed, she still loved him and her heart still ached. To make things even more complicated, she could feel the pull towards Edward. “No, I don’t.” Ashanti stated, sighing. She didn’t want to hurt him when he’d already gone through enough. “Hangout? You really think we could do that?” She didn’t think it was a good idea at all. When he said that he didn’t know if he believed in love, that piqued her interest. “Alright then, we’ll hangout. But we need some ground rules. We’re friends, so no kissing and definitely no sex.” There, at least now she could feel a little better.

Edward wasn’t trying to rush anything with Ashanti, but he knew that if he let her push him away, she would be gone out of his life forever. So he was going to make sure that he at least keep her in his life, so he could slowly but surely get her to see him, and want to be with him. “Yes, hangout, I know we could do it. I mean unless you think you couldn’t handle being around me, and not touching me.” He smirked, and licked his lips at her, trying to lighten the mood a little. He sighed when she mentioned ground rules, “Are you serious? You want us to not have sex after we just had some amazing sex? Do you not think that every time I see you looking amazing, that I am not going to think about you naked? And I know you are going to think about me naked.” He smirked.

Ashanti knew that she sounded ridiculous, but if she wanted things to stay platonic, she had to set some ground rules. Sex was definitely out of the picture. It was going to be hard, but she had self control, so she knew that she could do it–she hope… “Oh please, don’t flatter yourself. I have self control.” She rolled her eyes, but as soon as the words left her, she started to doubt herself. ‘No, I definitely can do this. I didn’t want to jump on Andrew all the time before. So why should Edward be any different? But he’s so sexy. Especially without a shirt on. Fuck… I’m so screwed,’ she thought. She cleared her throat then and nodded, “Yes, no sex. You’ll just have to learn self control and I definitely am not thinking about you naked.” ‘Yes, I am. Shut up!’ The battle in her mind waged on, leaving her frowning.

Edward didn’t like this no sex rule, because it was not something that he was interested in at all. But Ashanti was adamant about not having sex, and he knew he couldn’t fight her on that, or she would run. “I’m not flattering myself, but I know the way you responded to me, and I just don’t think it would be an easy task for either of us to just stop now.” He knew that it would be hard for him, but he didn’t have a choice in the matter did he? He sighed that she doubled down on the no sex rule, “Fine, if you say so…no sex it is.” He sighed and shook his head.

Ashanti didn’t know why her mind wouldn’t shut up. She knew herself, she wasn’t one who would throw herself at a man. She wasn’t that way with Andrew and she was certain she would be the same way with Edward. Well, at least she thought that she would be. Apparently her mind wanted to prove her wrong and it was getting on her nerves. “Maybe you’re thinking about other women? I’m not that way at all… I can resist you.” The words that came out obviously sounded like a lie and it tasted bitter coming out. “Good.” She stated, noticing how disappointed he sounded but choosing to ignore it. “Now, why don’t you put some clothes on?” She clutched at the sheet and draped her body in it because she didn’t want to be naked around him, but when she did that, she’d also revealed his nakedness, fully. Suddenly, her breath grew shallow, her mouth went dry and her gaze seemed stuck on the very naked and very sexy Crown Prince. ‘Look away! Look away!’ And she did just that after a while. “Uhm… I need to use the bathroom.” She said, looking down at her feet.

Edward rolled his eyes at Ashanti, she was being ridiculous, but he was going to let her. “Yeah, that’s it, I am thinking about the other women I had amazing sex with last night. But if you say you can resist me, then I believe you.” He laid back on the bed, and put his hands behind his head. He didn’t believe a word she was saying, but he wasn’t going to fight her on it. He shook his head, “Nah, I am good, I’m not ready to get up just yet, but you go right ahead.” He smiled, and looked down as she pulled the covers off him, and he didn’t even attempt to move, and apparently she wasn’t ready to stop looking at him, because she was definitely staring. He bit his bottom lip, and smirked, and chuckled when she announced that she had to go to the bathroom, “Oh, okay…you do know where it is right? I mean I could show you if you need me too?”

‘Sweet Jesus, why did he have to be so fine? It’s gonna be hard hanging out with him when he’s all naked.’ Ashanti thought as she kept on staring at her feet. Edward didn’t even seem to care that he was naked, he just laid on the bed like she wasn’t even there, getting all hot and bothered over his nakedness. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom. When I get back you better have some clothes on.” She scampered off, stumbling over the sheet on the way to the bathroom. After relieving herself, she washed her hands and stared at herself in the mirror. “You can do this, Ashanti. You just have to make sure you keep your hands to yourself.” When she returned, she noticed that he was still in bed and completely naked, “Edward! I asked you to put on some clothes. Why are you still naked?!” She screamed at him when she had her back to him.

Edward smiled, and shook his head, as Ashanti scampered away to the bathroom, but not before ordering him to put on clothes. That was not happening, because even if she wasn’t there, this was how he relaxed, he didn’t put on clothes, until he had too, and right now, he didn’t have too. He didn’t eat breakfast yet, so he was not going to put on any clothes. When she came back out, he just laughed at her reaction, “Because I am not ready to put on clothes, I have breakfast in the nude every morning, and I haven’t eaten yet, so I am not going to start now.” He shook his head, at her turning her back on him, “You could always join me if you want.” He smirked.

Ashanti had a feeling that Edward wasn’t going to comply with her wishes, but she thought at least he would try. Nope, he was being stubborn. Not even giving a damn about what she wanted. Or maybe he did? Because as much as she tried to make this relationship platonic, she wanted him, all the time and he was just giving her what she wanted. “You are such a dick…” She muttered, feeling the need to pull the sheet even closer to her body. Letting out a sigh of defeat, she said, “Is that how you dress for breakfast with your family? I doubt it, but fine, you want to play games, then let’s just do it your way.” She let go of the sheet–even though she didn’t want to–and decided to join him in being naked. If he thought that she would just cower away, he had another thing coming. “Now, go order breakfast, so I can eat. Unless you would rather I leave…” She said, rolling her eyes in annoyance.

Edward shrugged his shoulders, “I am just doing what I normally do, and if that makes me a dick, then so be it.” He could tell that Ashanti was having an inner battle, but that was because they were soulmates, and no matter how hard they fought, they were going to end up being drawn together, and he understood that. He just needed to wait for her to get that in her head, but that didn’t mean he was going to make it easy for her. He laughed when she brought up his family, “My family knows not to have breakfast with me, we usually meet for lunch instead.” He knew he was being a asshole, but it was funny to see her reactions. But he was shocked when she dropped her towel, and said she was going to play by his rules, “I’ll order, and you know I would never ask you to leave.” He went to pick up his cell phone, to let his assistant know what he wanted for breakfast, “So, what are you in the mood for, pancakes?” He smirked.

Ashanti was completely annoyed by the whole situation. She hated being naked like this. It wasn’t that she was ashamed of her body, far from it, she just didn’t want to have to do this with Edward around. He was her soulmate and if she wanted him all the time, then the pull he had towards her should be just as strong, right? That was the biggest problem here. She couldn’t stop herself from wanting him. “Whatever…” She stated with an eyeroll when he started explaining himself. It wasn’t like she believed anything that he said anyway. ‘Cocky bastard.’ It took all of her will power not to salivate as she watched him, but thankfully, she was able to do just that. “Pancakes sounds good.” She stated, folding her arms and waited for him to make his phone call. Once he was done, she asked, “So do you walk around naked when your staff is around? They must be used to seeing your ding-dong by now.” She laughed, not knowing why she found that funny, but it was.

Edward nodded, and shot off a text to his assistant, to make their order and have it delivered to his suite. He walked back over to her, just as cool like he was fully clothed, and sat on the edge of the bed. He smirked, “You know, if you keep rolling your eyes at me, they might get stuck that way.” He laughed at the silly saying his mother used to tell him when he was a little boy. He nodded to her question, “I sure do my assistant sees me naked everyday, and then my stylist is privies to all this all the time.” He ran his hand down his body. “Do you not have people that see you naked on a regular basis?”

“I’ll do what I want, you’re not the boss of me.” Just to spite him, Ashanti rolled her eyes again. She was born stubborn, so if he thought that she would just roll over and let him get what he wanted, he was dead wrong. It wasn’t like her at all. In fact, she was the type of person who would do the complete opposite just because she could. Being a Princess did have its advantages. “Wow… And that’s normal to you?” She asked, wondering what kind of crazy people would agree to look at him naked on a daily basis. Then again, he was a sexy man… No one could ever get tired of seeing him naked. His question had her looking at him like he’d grown horns. “Why in the world would someone look at me naked on a regular basis? I’m not a perv…like you.” She added the last part under her breath.

Edward chuckled, “You are feisty one…I like that.” He blew a kiss at her. He liked getting her all riled up, she was super sexy that way. He liked women to be in charge of themselves, and not let anyone tell them what to do. He saw how some men treated their women, like their opinion didn’t matter, and he would never do that. He smiled, “Well we came into this world naked, so I think we were never meant to wear clothes. so the real question should be is wearing clothes normal?” He chuckled to himself, seeing how she was looking at him. “Because you aren’t ashamed of your body, and if your stylist is going to dress you you are going to have to get naked to changed. Do you not have a stylist everyday?” He was very serious about that question. “Also, it is freeing to walk around naked, you should try it.”

“I’m sure you do.” Ashanti huffed, flashing him a sarcastic smile. The man was relentless. One would think that he would have given up by now. But no, not Edward apparently. He seemed to enjoy taunting her. Thankfully, she wasn’t easily deterred as well. She had a retort for every single one of his remarks. “Only you would think that way… I’m going to pray for your country because their future King is a weirdo.” She laughed, not because of what she said, but actually finding the way he think funny. But at least he wasn’t boring. Talking to him gave her a thrill, not that she was going to tell him that. “My dear Prince, I’m a fully capable woman. Why would I need someone to dress me everyday? I only do that when I have a function to go to.” She shook her head, “It’s okay, I’ll leave that to you. Besides, I can walk outside naked, so what’s the point?”

Edward smiled, and nodded, “Of course I do.” He laughed as Ashanti called him a weirdo, “Oh I think they already know that, they all had a front row seat of all my shenanigans during my teenage years in the tabloids. So I am sure they know I am a little weird, but I think they accept me, and know I will be on my best behavior when it counts.” She was so cute, and he couldn’t stop staring at her, and he found it scary how fast he was moving on from Charlotte, because he hadn’t thought about her since he saw her mark. This was the woman he was supposed to be with, and no matter if she was going to fight it, he knew, someday she was going to be his for real, so he was going to patiently wait. He smiled, “Because it’s one of the perks of being a royal, sure we can do things on our own, but why would we?” He laughed, knowing it was plenty that he did on his own, because he liked doing it, but picking out his clothes was not one of them. He shrugged, “Suit yourself. But you walk outside naked? And you call me weird…that is a hypocritical statement, don’t you think?”

Ashanti knew that she was supposed to keep being annoyed with Edward, but his smart remarks was making it hard for her to stay that way. She couldn’t stop herself from laughing even if she tried. “I think I remember those teenage shenanigans. I’m surprised your parents didn’t try to stop you. You were such a hellion.” She had to remark on it because yeah, she had a crush on him back then and she’d read articles about him. Who knew that the crush would turn out to be her soulmate? It still unnerved her when she thought about it. But in a way, she understood now why her path had crossed with Andrew. It was so she would be thrown together with Edward. Oddly enough, as her thoughts linger on Andrew, her heart didn’t ache as much as it did. Could she even call her feelings love? She shook her head and focus on Edward. “Because we’re capable of taking care of ourselves. It’s not hard to dress yourself.” Her brows furrowed at his remark, she must’ve misspoke. “I didn’t mean that. I meant, I CAN’T walk outside naked. Sorry…”

Edward actually blushed hearing that Ashanti recalled his crazy, wild times. He was really embarrassed by his behavior. “Oh they tried to stop me several, but I was a knucklehead kid, who thought I knew everything, but I learned very quickly that I knew nothing.” He laughed and shook his head, “I have calmed down a lot from those days, but it is a bit surprising that you remember that.” He smiled, and wanted to shift the conversation a bit. He smiled as she talked about them being capable of things, “Yeah we are, I never disputed that fact, but if there were a few tedious things that I don’t have to do, I won’t.” He smiled as she backtracked a little, it made him laugh, “I figured that was what you meant, but I had to tease you a little. But you could walk outside naked, but people would definitely stare, and some would think you lost your mind, so I wouldn’t suggest that either.”

As soon as Ashanti started teasing Edward about his wayward teenage years, she could see his cheeks reddened. It was adorable and she couldn’t stop herself from teasing him. A little more. “Are you blushing? Oh my God, I never thought I’d see the day…” She laughed. “Weren’t we all hellions in some way though? Don’t tell anyone, but when I was in my teens, I got to meet Justin Timberlake and I swore I was going to run off and marry him.” It was now her turn to blush, she couldn’t believe that she was sharing the secret with him. It just felt easy for her to do it. “In other words, you just want to be lazy, right?” She challenged, shaking her head. When she heard what he said next, she scowled at him. “You knew but you just wanted to be a dick about it, huh?” A laugh left her after, simply because she couldn’t stay mad at him. “I wasn’t planning on walking around naked. So don’t worry, no one’s going to think that I’m crazy.”

Edward blushed more when Ashanti called him out on it, “No!” He lied, “Okay, maybe a little, but I am not too proud of those days, I was a mess, but the people of England forgave me, and now I owe them to be the best King I could be when the time comes.” He was a little shocked to hear that she was a little hellion too, but laughed when she said she was going to run off and marry Justin Timberlake, “Wait, did you guys make out or something? I mean was this just a childhood crush, or was it possible for you to run off with him?” He was curious, because if this was just something in her head, he would think it was cute, but if this was something that could happen, he was going to be impressed. He was happy that she was willing to share things with him that she hadn’t told anyone, that was cool. He shrugged, “I have my lazy moments, but I am never lazy when it counts.” He smiled and moved closer into her personal space, “FYI, you can always walk around naked around me, I would actually appreciate that.” He shot her a wink, and smiled.

Ashanti quirked a brow when Edward tried to deny the fact that he was blushing, but didn’t even get a word in before he admitted the fact. “It’s not all that bad. They understand that you were young and I’m sure you will make a great king some day.” She replied politely, fully believing in his ability to lead his country. “No. It was just a crush. I was so young at the time and he was funny. I like funny guys, okay… Don’t judge me.” She retorted with a shake of her head. She couldn’t believe she actually wanted to run off to marry Justin Timberlake. “Mhmm… Sure you’re not.” A brow rose again when she suddenly found him moving towards her. ‘What is he doing? Trying to kill me?!’ she wondered. It took all a lot for her not to cower away and answer him. “I’m already naked now. How many more times do you want me to do that?” He was being cheeky, the wink and the wicked smiled she flashed at her was evidence enough.

Edward shook his head, “It was bad, but like I said, I am a changed man now.” He really wanted to hear that she had the opportunity to run off with Justin Timberlake, and she turned him down because of her royal duties, but that wasn’t the case, and he was a little bummed. He shook his head, “No judgement here, we all had celebrity crushes.” He laughed when she basically called him lazy, “Oh I think you can attest to the fact that I am not lazy when it comes to the important things.” He smirked, and licked his lips, “There is no such thing as seeing you naked too many times Ashanti, I can see you naked all day if you let me.” He smiled.

Ashanti hated the effects Edward had on her. When he was anywhere remotely close, it felt like her whole body would go weak and she could just melt. It didn’t help that he was determined to prove her wrong by constantly being in her face. ‘Sweet, Jesus. Why is he licking his lips now?’ Her memories from the night before came barrelling back and she found herself wet again. 'Fuck! I’m so screwed…’ She thought but then just as quickly, she straightened her spine and cleared her throat before she made her response. “I don’t know what important thing you’re talking about… And can you stop being such a perv?” She treated a little then and folded her arms as she looked at the door. “Where’s the food anyway? I’m starving…”

Edward smirked, and moved even closer to Ashanti, he was hell bent on teasing her relentless, until she just gives up, and gives in to him and what he knew was their fate. He smiled, “I would be happy to remind you of all the important things I do.” He ran his fingers down her shoulder, “And I am not being a perv, just being me. But I think you might like it…” He smiled and picked up his phone and shot a text to his assistant. “I was thinking that too…” He looked at his phone when it buzzed, “He said he is bringing it up now.” He heard the door, ‘Here it is!” He went and answered the door, without any clothes on, and let him bring the food in. “You can just leave it here, I’ll take it in.” He didn’t want Ashanti to be seen naked, that she is not used to that.

Ashanti’s breath hitched when Edward moved even closer to her, her skin tingling where his fingers grazed. She froze for a bit before her conscience reminded her that she needed to stay strong. “I’m sure you do… But I’m not here for that.” She croaked, her voice suddenly sounding lower than it should. “Sure you’re not.” She rolled her eyes. Thankfully, the thick air between them quickly evaporated as he made himself busy with his phone and than later when he got their food. She still couldn’t believe that he was walking around naked though. The man was brazen that was for sure. Not knowing what to do, she sat on the bed and waited for him to come back.

Edward smiled, feeling Ashanti jump a little, “Suit yourself, but I know you’ll like it.” He knew he was pushing her a bit, but he didn’t want to push too hard, and risk her running away. He went to go get the food, and soon he was rolling the cart inside the bedroom, “You breakfast has arrived Princess, and I hope it is to your liking.” He opened the dome, and revealed pancakes, eggs, bacn, sausage. Then he pulled off another one to reveal toast and fruit. There was coffee and juice there for them as well. “Bon Appetit.”

Ashanti sat quietly and contemplated her next move. She really should have run off, but instead, here she was naked as the day she was born, about to have breakfast with her soulmate. The word still freaked her out, even though being in his company comforted her. That was her biggest conundrum now, what to do next… Before she could delve even deeper to her thoughts, he’d come back, rolling their breakfast with him. Her stomach rolled seeing all that food. ‘Stupid hangover…’ She thought. “Thanks.” She commented kindly before reaching for a toast and nibbling on it. “How are you still able to eat after last night?” She asked, scrunching her brows.

Edward grabbed a plate and started piling on the food, he always needed to eat after a night of drinking. “I guess I have an iron stomach, but I always need lots of food to get over my hangover.” He took a bite of bacon. “But you should drink something, it will settle your stomach.” He poured her a glass of juice, “Here, drink this.” He knew a thing or two about curing hangovers. “And I always have aspirins for you.”

Ashanti continued to nibble on her toast and watched as Edward pile on food on his plate. She didn’t understand how he wasn’t feeling like he was standing on death’s door. Because she sure as hell felt that way. “I can’t eat. Just watching you eat is making my stomach roll.” She stated and took the glass of juice from him, sipping on it slowly. “Thanks.” She said, feeling a bit better. There was so much she didn’t understand about him. The one question that stood out was his kindness towards her. “Why are you being so nice to me? You don’t have to, you know…” The question came out before she could stop herself.

Edward ate his food, and he hated that Ashanti was having such a hard time with this hangover. “I can turn away if it’s going to make you sick.” He didn’t want her to feel worse. He smiled when she took the juice, but her question surprised him, “Why wouldn’t I be nice to you. I know I don’t have to, but I want to. You’re a great person to hang around, and not to mention, you are sexy to look at when I’m eating breakfast.”

Ashanti really wanted to know the answer. Edward should have kicked her out of the room with how sour she was towards him when they each found out that they were soulmates, but instead of doing that, he did the complete opposite. He was sweet to her. “I thought you’d tell me to leave…” She simply answered and shook her head at his last comment. “Oh, so you do have an ulterior motive. You just want to see me naked, is that it?” She couldn’t help but chuckle a little. He sounded crass, yet there was humor in his statement. How could she not laugh?

“Why would I ask you to leave? You would never have to worry about that, I like you here, and not just because you look hot naked.” Edward smiled and put a piece of pancake in his mouth. He laughed at her comment, “I always have ulterior motives, but I never kept that a secret.” He winked at her.

“Isn’t that how one night stands are supposed to work? You have sex and the next morning, the girl leaves?” Ashanti questioned Although she knew that she could never be his one night stand, seeing as they were soulmates. It still felt proper to ask. She laughed a little harder and shook her head at his antics. “I’m starting to figure that out now.” She stated and took another bite of her toast.

Edward put his fork down, and looked at Ashanti like she was crazy, “Are you being serious right now? You really think you are a one night stand?” He was waiting for her to laugh, or give him some indication that she was joking, but none came, and that disappointed him a little. “Ashanti, you are my soulmate, and no matter what we decide to do with this bond we have, there is no one night stands for us. We might not be a couple officially, but we will always find our way back to each other, no matter what.” He needed her to know that he wasn’t trying to run from their mark, but he wasn’t going to push her either.

Stunned by his sudden outburst, Ashanti simply looked at Edward as he chided her. When he was done however, it was her turn to say her piece. “Don’t you get it, this was supposed to be a one night stand. I’m not ready for anything more. I know you keep insisting that you’re not going to push me, but I don’t want this mark. What we share is simply physical. I think that’s what this mark is. We’re attracted to each other physically. Getting my heart broken once was enough, Edward. All I want out of you is friendship.” And his dick… Her conscience taunted, but she brushed it away. With her appetite lost, her looked at her hands and wring them together in frustration. “I don’t want to give you hope when there’s none. It’s not fair to you…” She added in a whisper.

Edward sighed, “I get it Ashanti, I know we were supposed to be a one night stand, but that’s not happening and no matter how hard you fight it, or not want it, we are soulmates.” He grabbed her hand and put it on his mark, and he felt the heat instantly. He then put his hand on her mark, “I know you feel that, I do too, and we will never be able to get rid of that feeling, or the mark. We can fight it all we want, but it’s not going to change anything.” He let her hand go, “Now I’m not asking for you to give me hope, I don’t need it. What I am asking for is that you take all the time you need to figure out whatever it is you need, and then when you are finally done fighting, you come back to where you belong, and that’s with me.”

“How can you be so calm about this? Don’t you want the choice to be with someone you really love? This mark is making the choice for us. It’s crazy!” Ashanti was getting frustrated with the situation. Although Edward was a kind man, she didn’t want to feel like she was only drawn to him because of their marks. It felt generic, fake. Her body buzzed with electricity when they each touched the other’s soul mark. “I’m not denying that I want you physically. I just don’t think I can give you anything else.” She knew then that this was real, there was no denying that, but it didn’t mean that she couldn’t freak out about it. She didn’t want to belong to anyone, not now when she was still nursing a broken heart. She could say anything for a while, she simply stared at her hands. When she was ready, all she said was, “What if I never come back to you? What if I run away and never look back?”

“I’m calm because I know how this story ends, and deep down so do you. But you are so blinded by hurt, that’s all you see right now, and that’s fine. You need time to heal, I get it. But are you going to tell me that you don’t even want to see if you could love me? Am I that repulsive that you don’t want to even think that you could possibly love me?” Edward knew that Ashanti was his one, but she needed to figure it out. One thing he wasn’t going to do was beg, or wait around for her. He shrugged, “If you run and don’t come back, then you prove me wrong, and I will live my life without you.”

As selfish as Ashanti wanted to be, she couldn’t bring herself to hurt Edward. He’d gone through just as much heart break as she did. Probably more seeing as he was engaged to Charlotte. “Of course you’re not repulsive… Don’t ever say that. You will never be repulsive to me.” She raised her head so that she could look him in the eyes when she told him that. “I’m just confused. I don’t know what to make of all this. The first time I gave my heart away, it got stomped on. I don’t know how to heal from that.” She sighed. “You know I could never run. I’m a Princess. Where would I even run to?” She laughed, trying to lift the mood a little.

Edward felt better knowing that Ashanti didn’t find him repulsive, that would have to devastating to hear that. So if that was the case, then he seriously just had to give her time, but show her that he was someone who she could love if she just gave him a chance. “I’m not trying to make you love me now, or even date me, I just don’t want you to totally push me away.” He was going to show her, how good he could be to her, without pushing her. “Time heals all wounds, so just take your time.” He smiled, “I don’t know, you could avoid me if you wanted to. But I am not going to pressure you, live your life Ashanti, and you will always know where to find me if you need me.”

Ashanti nodded her head, finally understanding what Edward was asking of her. They had no choice in the matter, no matter what, they were destined for each other and she couldn’t fight it no matter how much she tried. “Let’s just be friends.” She reached for his hand and gave it squeeze. “I promise I won’t push you away…” She sighed, letting his hand go. “It’s easy to say that when you weren’t in love with her. I love Andrew and it still hurts…” She stated, looking down at her plate. “Well, like I said, I can’t run and I’m pretty sure I can’t avoid you forever. We’re always going to run in the same circles.”

Ashanti gave Edward a little hope letting him know she wouldn’t push him away. “I can accept being friends…for now.” He wasn’t going to hide his intentions for her, there was no need for that. They were adults, and they needed to be honest about their feelings. He shook his head, “I did love Charlotte, but the difference is, I knew she didn’t love me back. So your hurt is different from my hurt, but I just had longer to process it.” He moved a piece of hair from her face, “Okay then, as long as I see you then we’re okay.” He smiled and ate another piece of bacon.

Ashanti shouldn’t have felt as excited at hearing Edward’s response, she should have balked. Yet, a thrill fell over her. She liked knowing that he wasn’t going to just accept her decision. He was assertive and she found that completely sexy. “You’re relentless.” She chuckled, scrunching up her nose at him. At the mention of their previous partners, she dropped her smile. She didn’t know what to think about the two. It still hurt knowing that Andrew had changed his tune so quickly. He’d told her that he loved, that’s why it was tough for her to swallow the bitter pill of rejection. “I suppose you’re right. I wish I could be more like you. You’re handling this situation with grace.” She wanted to melt when he tucked her hair away, the act of tenderness melting her even more. “There’s no getting rid of you, is there?” She asked, biting her bottom lip and staring at him like he was her next meal..

Edward smiled, “Yes I am…and that’s the only way I know how to be.” He smirked, and shook his head, “I was not always handling it with grace, I mean I had my moments when I went a little nuts because she wouldn’t reciprocate my feelings, but now I just had to accept it, she was not the one. But now I know for sure she was not my one.” He winked at her, and sipped on his juice. He smiled and shook his head, “Definitely not, so get used to seeing me around.”

Ashanti might not want to admit it, but she liked his cockiness. It added to his charm. Plus, she always found a man’s brazenness to be sexy as hell. “We all have our moments, I suppose.” Hearing him talk was making her hot all of a sudden, especially when he said that Charlotte was not him and that someone else was. She didn’t need him to say it outright to know that he was talking about her. What’s wrong with me? Why am I so turned on by him? She gulped down her juice to help tamp down the temptation of jumping on him. “I will…” was the last thing she said before she stood up. “I think I should go-” before I jump on your dick. “Thank you for breakfast.” She continued as she looked around for her items of clothing.

Edward nodded, “Yeah we do, and I’m sure you will have yours too. But one day you are going to have an ah ha moment, and you will realize that the love you had for Andrew was good, but not true love.” He remembered when he realized that about Charlotte, it was a tough thing to realize, but so necessary. He got up when she did, “Okay, if you really have too…do you really have to?” He picked up her dress and handed it to her.

“I hope I get there someday…” Ashanti needed to leave before she did something stupid and jump on Edward. She couldn’t deny the pull she had to him. It was magnetic and the longer she stayed in his presence, the more she wanted him. She was still looking for her item of clothing when she heard his remark. Letting out a sigh, she reached for the dress that he handed her and said, “It’s not a good idea for me to stay. I’ll just end up all over you again…”

Edward could feel the pull happening right now, and he really wanted to feel Ashanti one more time, but he wondered if she felt the same way. “You will, I’m sure of it.” He held onto the dress, not letting go, pulling her closer to him, “Is that such a bad thing?” He said in a low, sensual voice. The pull between them was so strong, he wanted her more than ever.

Ashanti couldn’t stay, she couldn’t allow herself to have sex with Edward again. He wasn’t her sex toy, and she refused to use him. But the pull was there, she could feel whenever he was near. “Edward, please…” She pleaded, her breath hitching in her throat as he drew her close. “We shouldn’t do this…” All the while, she didn’t attempt to escape. It was like her body knew that this was where she belonged and she couldn’t fight it.

Edward could see the fight that was going on inside her, and he could continue to seduce her, and find themselves in bed again. But he knew if he did that, she would feel bad about it later. And he told her that he wasn’t going to pressure her, so he had to prove it. He let go of the dress, “We shouldn’t, so go ahead and get dressed.” That was the hardest thing he ever had to say, because he really didn’t want to let her go, but he knew for now….he had too.

Ashanti felt like she was under a spell, her mind might be screaming to leave, but her body was frozen. She knew that it was their soul mark’s doing, no matter what she did, she couldn’t bring herself to go. She wanted Edward near, craved it even. Something snapped in her when he released the hold he had on her dress and told her to get dressed. “No…” The words were spoken confidently and before she could stop to think, she’d moved into his personal space and kissed him hungrily.

Edward was surprised by Ashanti’s decision to not leave, but her actions were even more shocking. But he wasn’t going to stop her either. He did his part, he gave her an out, but she didn’t want it, and that made him so happy. He pulled her closer, and kissed her back with everything he had. He picked her up and carried her to the bed. He kissed her the whole way there, and laid her down gently. He quickly climbed on top of her, wrapping her legs around him. He quickly reached over to the nightstand and grabbed a condom, and put it on. He didn’t want to waste any time, and have her change her mind, so he slid inside her, “Fuck baby! So tight!”

The moment their lips met, Ashanti knew she was screwed–figuritively and physically. She couldn’t fight the bond that she had with Edward. It was impossible, so for now at least, she was surrendering to her bodily needs. As their lips and tongues battled, she’d been swept up and laid down on the bed. She watched with hungry eyes as he reached for a condom and then swiftly entered her. “Fuck… Edward…” She hissed, her arms immediately looping around his shoulders and she bucked her hips. Pulling him close, she claimed his mouth, allowing their tongues to duel.

It was no doubt in Edward’s mind that he wanted to be with Ashanti forever, but he had to play it cool, and let her come to that conclusion herself. He felt the bond, and he truly believed in soulmates, so he just needed to let nature take its course. Right now he was only going to focus on giving Ashanti pleasure beyond belief. He picked up the pace of his movements, and started slamming inside her with reckless abandon. “God you feel so good.” He kissed her deeply, lacing their fingers together.

Ashanti had no doubt that she belonged to Edward, everything with him felt natural. Even when she wasn’t as graceful as she should have been, he’d been understanding. She should’ve just given up and allow things to develop naturally, but after what happened with Andrew, she was afraid to give her heart away. Maybe this would be enough. Sex couldn’t heal her broken heart, but it might help her to forget her pain. Plus, there was no denying that Edward wanted her. If she gave him her body, it should be okay, right? “Edward…” She moaned again, feeling wanted and beautiful in his embrace. Her climax approached as his thrust increased, and she curled her fingers that were entwined with his. Seconds later, her resistance snapped and she came, screaming out his name loudly. “Edward!”

The feeling of having Ashanti wrapped around his body, and his dick deep inside her warm, slick pussy, was everything Edward could hope for. He knew this was going to be a long journey to get her to see that they belonged together, not just for sex, but for everything. But he was willing to make it work, and if he had to use his dick to get her there, then so be it. She was screaming out, and it added fuel to his fire, and he kept slamming inside her. Soon she was cumming, and he loved seeing her cum. She made the sexiest face when she did cum. He was far from done though, he pulled out, turned her to the side, lifted her leg, and slammed back inside her. “Oh fuck!” He screamed out.

Sparks danced before her eyes as her body shook. Ashanti couldn’t even move then, she needed a reprieve from…everything, but it never came. Instead, Edward filled her again, even though the position was different now. Heat crept up her body and because she was still so sensitive, the familiar tingling sensation came back in full force. She couldn’t think or say anything other than his name and beg. “Edward… Please, baby…” The term of endearment slipped out without her knowledge. Her body was his for the taking then, just like everything else that she held, even if she wasn’t ready to admit that yet.

Edward liked this new position, it allowed him to go deeper inside Ashanti, and being connected to her, was all he wanted. Her response to what he was doing, only made him want to do more. He smiled hearing her call him baby, but he knew better not to say anything right then. He wanted to enjoy the moment with her, and he knew saying anything would ruin it. He took her in his arms, and continued his movements inside her. “You feel so amazing baby…fuck!” He was so close to losing it, but he needed her to cum again. So he slid his fingers inside her pussy, and started rubbing her clit. “Cum for me baby.”

The familiar tingling came back in full force and Ashanti was powerless to stop it. She didn’t know if she was just horny or maybe it was the bond she had with Edward that was pushing her over the edge, but when she heard his request and felt his fingers on her clit, she found herself falling over the edge. Stars exploded behind her closed lids and she screamed out, “Edward,” like it was the easiest thing for her to do. Too exhausted to get up, she laid in his arms, feeling contented for the moment. She still had a thousand doubts in her mind, but for now, she wasn’t going to think about it.

Edward was more than content with having Ashanti in his arms, and he loved when she would scream out his name. The way she felt so close to him was something he couldn’t describe. Their bodies melded together like they belonged to one another. He knew they were bonded, but for now he wanted to focus on the here and now. Feeling her cum, catapulted him to his end, and he was screaming out her name, as he shot his load deep inside her, “Ashanti!” He collapsed on top of her.

When her breathing came back to her, Ashanti’s senses came back in full force–her denial that was… She felt uncomfortable being there, but at the same time, she couldn’t bring herself to hurt Edward either, so she knew that she was stuck. “Is sex always this good between…uhmm…soulmates?” She wondered out loud, because one, she was truly curious and two, she needed to make small talk in order not to freak out.

Edward needed a moment to catch his breath, after that amazing session with Ashanti, he wanted to be closer to her more than ever. The pull was still so strong, and he rolled off her, but pulled her right in his arms, not giving her a chance to leave him just yet. He chuckled at her question, “I don’t know, since you are my one and only soulmate, but our sex have been amazing every time.” Even their drunken sex was amazing, so it had to be this good every time. “If it is, would you be more inclined to see where this leads us?”

Ashanti should have turned purple when she got a response, instead, a brow rose and she sassed, “I don’t think you could handle having more than one… Aren’t I enough of a headache?” Just the thought of him touching someone like he did her made her see red. She didn’t understand why she was feeling this way. It wasn’t like she was in love with him. He could have sex with any woman he chose, yet the jealousy gnawed at her. “I don’t know… Sex could complicate things, right? I wouldn’t want you to feel like I’m just using you.” Of course, she wanted to have sex with him again, but this wasn’t just about her. It was about what he wanted too.

Edward smiled and nodded at Ashanti’s comment, “You are definitely enough for me Ashanti.” He answered with no hesitation, and very sincerely. She was enough for him, “But you’re not a headache in any shape, form, or fashion.” He smiled at the fact that he could sense her feelings right now, and he couldn’t help but smile a little. Their bond was so strong, it actually scared him a little. He put his hand on her cheek, “Do you want to see other people? I mean if you are not willing to just be with me, then I will have to learn to accept that.” But it would kill him to see her with anyone else. “If you want just a sexual relationship, then we can do that. As long as I get to see you.” He was serious about that, he would take what he could get right now from her.

Ashanti couldn’t help but melt at Edward’s words. Try as she might, she couldn’t deny how charming he was and his kindness made her feel warm and most importantly wanted. He was different from Andrew, freer with his feelings and never once did he conceal what he truly wanted. There was no need for her to guess his intentions, because he was open with her. “I am a headache, you have to admit that…” She stated gently, a smile curling her lips when his hand found her cheek. “No, I’m not interested in other people.” was the answer she gave him. I only want you… She had no inclination to see or be with anyone else, she only wanted him… Which was what scared her half to death. Their bond was strong, even she would admit that, and she knew that she was putty in the Crown Prince’s hand. “You’re okay with just that?” She had to ask again, “I do want to see you again. Believe it or not, I find you ridiculously charming and sexy…” And good in bed…

Edward laughed and shook his head, “No, I would never admit that, because I don’t think you are a headache, I just think you have a lot of things to process, but you are not a headache.” He smiled hearing Ashanti say she was not interested in seeing other people, “That’s good to know, I don’t know how I would handle seeing you with other people.” He knew that rushing her would be a problem, she was going to let her take control of the pace. “I would be okay with that, as long as you’re okay with it.” He smiled, hoping that she would eventually want more. He gave her a charming smile, “Do you now? Well then I guess I can tell you that I find you super sexy, and hot as fuck.” He smirked.

“You’re too kind…” Ashanti, smiled bashfully, glad that Edward didn’t take her actions seriously. She knew that she was a headache, she admitted that willingly, yet he never once tried to use that against her. It was endearing to say the least. “Ooh… Are you going to go all caveman on me if I dated someone else.” She teased, her heart beating a little faster at the thought of her soulmate being consumed with jealousy. She wouldn’t want to share him either, so she completely understood where he was coming from. “I’m more than okay with it.” She wasn’t going to lie about wanting to jump his bones. What would be the point? She nodded her head at his question, again feeling heat creep up her cheeks. “You know you’re sexy. Don’t even act like you don’t.” She rolled her eyes and laughed. “Good to know someone finds me hot and sexy as fuck…” She threw his words back at him, just because she felt like it.

“Just being honest, but I like that you think I’m kind.” Edward smiled, and shrugged his shoulders at her next comment, “Would that turn you on Ashanti?? Seeing me enraged over you being with some other guy?” He was teasing, but he knew he would be very much enraged if he saw her with someone else, because he knew she belonged to him, and he wanted her for himself. “But to answer your question, I would be very upset if I saw you with someone else. I know what my heart wants, I am just waiting for yours to catch up.” He smirked, and liked hearing her be more open about her feelings, he only thought that would led to her discovering her feelings for him. “Good, then it’s settled, we will continue having amazing sex with one another, until you realize that I am the love of your life.” He chuckled, “Oh you are definitely sexy s fuck, and it’s good that you are, because two sexy fucking people belong together.” He smirked, and pulled her in for another kiss.

A brow rose and once again, Ashanti’s heart began racing. The question Edward had posed, had her smiling. “Yeah… Maybe?” She responded in a gravelly tone. Of course she would be turned on. This was her sexy soulmate they were talking about… “You don’t have to worry about that. I won’t be looking for anyone else.” She stated, sighing at his next words. He was still adamant that she would fall in love with him one day. She wanted to give him what he wanted, but right now, she simply couldn’t. Not wanting to hurt him, she decided not to comment. “I would definitely like to have more amazing sex with your sexy as fuck self…” She simply said, her cheeks flaming at her use of vulgarity. When he kissed her and pulled her close, she didn’t bother to fight, she melted and allowed what was to follow to come true. Her head might be messed up, but at least for now, she’d come to the realization that she belonged with Edward, even if it was just for physical reasons.

[inappropriatefangirlneeds]

Gotham s3ep18 “Light the Wick” Personal Review

“I can't stop you. But it will not help.”

Warning spoilers below

„I´m a fan“ JERVIS TETCH is narrating NATHANIEL BARNES´ escape, who can easily deal with the guards but not the Court´s what was his name Talon .. almost like theatre, almost. KATHRYN tells Barns she wants the same as he does. Judgment and Punishment. “Well then release me”  But the Court wants to things on a larger scale they don´t need Barnes but the Virus in him. HUGO STRANGE is back with the Court. “This might sting.” Strange is there against his will and not amused by Kathryn watching him work. (( He´s listening to some opera and I feel like I should recognize it .. )) Fish Mooney is alive. “Previously” (( Okay can we get him for previously on Gotham .. )) There is a poor frightened guy behind glass. Mean. The virus used to spread by contact to blood now through air as well and obviously changes people quicker “You´ve done it, You´ve weaponized the Virus.”

“Nobody told me what for.” JIM GORDON looks horribly ridiculous with that Owl mask. Oh and they need to turn in homework. Some list. Jim is being a detective and takes evidence from Kathryn´s mask. He gets caught and lies that he has some questions about the homework.  It´s a list of loved ones that should be spared. (( Ugh, the hypocrisy .. like either you judge or you don´t, just because your newest member fancies his secretary or something you get them out of the loop, geez either commit to the cause or not )) Harvey ran the prints, Kathryn´s last name is Monroe and gives him her address. Jim couldn´t find anything about the weapon in the Court´s files. If there is something it´s got to be in her house. ((Or like anywhere else .. )) HARVEY BULLOCK worries, if he´s caught Game Over. He also warns him about Lee. She is in a pretty dark place: LESLIE THOMPKINS brought the report on Frank Gordon´s death: Homicide. HARVEY was like, I know you´re upset but Lee claimed it´s not about Mario. Lee just wanted Harvey to do his job. “I think Jim should be questioned” Harvey was like why would Jim be the murder, but Lee thinks he´s at least involved. She wanted to know who else. Harvey took it personally and made it personally. “You´re not crazy Lee, you are hurt and there is nothing going on” Lee canceled their friendship. Lee knows Harvey covers Jim, she´ll find out because of what. JIM barely recognized Harvey´s short warning about Lee it he´s more worried when he hears that Barnes got transferred to wherever.

“Hello, Jim” OSWALD COBBLEPOT visits Jim, he´s “quite hard to kill” BRIDGIT is with him. Oswald looks for Ed, Jim is the last one who saw him. Unfinished business, not a social call. Oswald doubts anyone could escape form the great Jim Gordon. ((boy..)) Jim claims him knowing about the Court was a ruse, but Oswald is suspicious. ((That´s the right spirit murder bird .. )) “””escapes custody.”” ((I love him)) Jim is like, drop it you don´t know anything. Trust me, let it go. ((I´m fainting))  Oswald threatens the Court with publicity. He hands Jim a phone with his number and expects a call until the end of the day. “Why do I get the sense of being threatened” ((More like seduced ..)) Oswald´s face drops in slow motion. “This is a favour, Jim, after all, we are old friends, right” ((His face, I love it so much, the gloves, the hair, the outfit) ((But oh boy did Jim always have those eye rings .. almost match mine .. ))

“And if you don't like what you hear?” JIM searches KATHRYN´s house. There is a  hidden Access Card for Wayne Enterprises. Trapped between Butler and Owl Jim faces Kathryn.  He tells her that Oswald is alive and back and has suspicions. Kathryn is like what that´s all ((pls tell me we are back with having people underestimate the Bird and then the Bird destroying them .. )) “I'm tired of being kept in the dark. I want a seat at the table.” How ambitious. Jim says they wanted him and he has done everything now he wants the goodies.  “Crime and violence are so common the people have become numb to it. To heal the city, we have to force them to take notice.” “Force them how?” “By showing the people of Gotham their darkest selves.”

Jim tells Harvey and LUCIUS FOX that it´s the Virus. Fox is “happy” to be in, he says it´s possible. But Alice´s blood was destroyed but they only need a Virus sample: Barnes. Handing Lucius the WayneEnterprises Card Lucius gets an idea where they have taken Barnes. Harvey and Jim go there, no guards, no security. Experiment guy is bloody and claims he did not want to kill those people. (( I still feel so bad for him .. )) “I´m the good guy here” he says and quickly labels those people pointing guns at him as the bad ones. He attacks them. HUGO STRANGE stops him. Jim interrogates. “A woman, named Kathryn” has the virus but he doesn´t know more. Harvey tries to arrest him, hell he knows why .. but Strange is like nope. The delivery mechanism to release the Virus only arrived recently (Dock C9) which means they still got time to stop that. But only if they don´t find their lab compromised. “My research. And a vial of my virus compound which I secreted away, unbeknownst to my captors. A token of goodwill, which I hope will be remembered when the time comes.” Jim sees him playing both sides. Strange just tries to cover himself for every possible outcome. “You logical bastard” Bad thing is that KATHRYN later notices the entrance card missing ((and of course who else could it have been than the uninvited sudden guest))  The material is on the way to Lucius who should try to work on the cure maybe find someone he can trust. ((pls let Lee and Lucius work together in the lab ))

It´s not LESLIE THOMPKINS. ((damn it)) Who is like what you, I did not expect you to help Jim. ”How many people does he have to kill - before you all see what I see?” “ You got it wrong. Jim's trying to make sure that what happened to Mario never happens to anyone again.” But Lucius can´t tell her what actually this is about. ((FFS just give this woman some credit and tell her ..  she could even help, I´m convinced she would and she wants to know so why “protect” her or whatever everyone is trying to do, guess Jim can´t proof her accusations right by putting her in danger but still argh.. )) Lee says Fox is like everyone else. She wants to resign and leave.  JIM GORDON claims she belongs here. Lee thought she did but then Jim infected this place and everyone around him. She is done. With Jim, GCPD, Gotham. Jim took everything from her. She would ask for the truth but Jim probably doesn´t know it himself. Jim tells her that he killed Mario to save her and would do again. He was infected. “Yes, because Jervis Tetch wanted to punish you.” It´s all because of Jim. ((Dear, I get it Lee, but that´s the same bullshit Jervis tried to pull with Jim, claim it´s Jim´s fault that people died, despite him being the one setting up the whole scenario and making the deaths happen, I´m glad Jim´s not having any of it, he could be a tad bit nicer to Lee though .. )) Jim´s like fine blame me for the death, he can´t stop her from leaving but it will not help. “Believe me” “The other day, you asked me at Mario's grave how I could walk away. Move on. I guess you know how.”

“Let´s see if you are worthy of the light” KATHRYN tells JIM he is in “glad you could make it”. “Not sure if I had a choice.” They take his gun and phone. (( Okay I do know that classical piece in the background why can´t I think of the name)) “The daughters of Gotham. Socialites who believe they hold the power in this city, when really what they really are is window dressing. My family was one of the first in Gotham. We've been on the Court since its founding, making the difficult decisions to ensure its long-term survival.” There´s an aerosol dispersal bomb. Jim plays dumb and asks for what. There is talk about radius n stuff. 15 min timer. Jim has to proof himself further, he needs to make difficult decision when time comes. That´s why he is here he claims but looks miserable. If he interferes Talon will execute him on spot.  There is no chatting with Talon ((I do miss Zsasz .. )) Jim calls Oswald who has been running the soles of his shoes flat while waiting for it. (( Isn´t he precious)) Still talking to Talon Jim let´s Oswald know about the bomb. Time flies and Jim is like “screw it” ((For once I absolutely and unapologetically love that side of him)) and attacks Talon. BRIDGIT FIREFLY PYKE fries the bad guy. Jim needs to get the people out OSWALD only cares about Court and Ed. Jim tells him about the bomb Oswald looks scared, disgusted annoyed and worried all at once. “What about our deal.” Jim guesses since Oswald torched their assassin they´ll come to him.  ((I´m not even mad that Jim kinda used Oswald, utilizing him that way was so clever, and he´s not wrong about the established Court contact. )) Jim saves a child last minute. ((Like that was so not necessary and cheesy .. ))

OSWALD is mad.  Court did not contact him, Ivy and human Popsicle are gone. Hello, anyone listening? Yes Court guy is. They cage the bird. Bird is back to “My name is Oswald Cobblepot” .. Bitch do you have any idea who I am, you better do. He “demands” again. (( Good old time oh who I missed thee)) “Oswald” EDWARD NYGMA says. “You´re alive” They got cells next to each other. (( I wonder if that is because someone knew their history, and is sitting somewhere with popcorn and watching)) Oswald turns slowly, walks slowly, stares and suddenly reaches out to Edward. ((This is intense , and .. somewhere under all that emotion Oswald is having a oh well, I got what I want, Ed, but .. that´s just not quite like how I meant it ffs moment. ))

“and then go back to where I found you.” The Sirens: IVY PEPPER is looking for (bossy) Selina. TABITHA who gets to hear half their story and that they were kinda close, because she made the mistake to ask looks bored while counting money but tells Ivy to look in the Hospital. She fell out of a window and is pretty bad in shape.  ((How does this kind of information travel in Gotham?! In her current state I doubt Barbara was keeping half an eye on Selina and told Tabs about it .. )) Ivy just walks into the restricted hospital area like she owns it, I love her. Her perfume makes a nurse tell her that Selina fell. “That´s impossible”  The tell me scene is so sweet. (( Honestly .. why did they start NewIvy with all that men give her stuff nonsense, there would be absolutely nothing missing if they just had skipped that and went straight for what we got now))  “They don´t know what I know, they can´t do what I can do.” ((Nice now make everyone there healthy)) Ivy let´s people carry her plants. She introduces Selina to Nepeta cataria, (( omg it´s catnip)) “Or, rather, a very specialized strain of a plant that I've been cultivating. This guy is a "break in case of emergency" type of deal. You've always been there for me. Even when I screwed things up. Which was most of the time.” There is more plants. Ivy waits. Selina moves. “Are you okay? Say something so that I know you're okay.” Selina tires to get up. Ivy is like no you need rest (( probably having a Déjà-vu)) This can´t wait. Selina got to kill someone at Wayne Manor.

“Gotham needs a protector, and you need a purpose.” BRUCE WAYNE is training. “You win and you go free” Bruce sees manipulation in those words. “All that pain and anger you think it's strength. It's not. You think can harness it you can't. You think it's part of you, but it doesn't have to be. Do you know why you were so easily defeated? ..Your rage, Bruce. It blinds you. You seek to control it, and yet it controls you and has ever since that night. Rage and pain are two sides of the same coin.” .. “The events themselves will remain. I'm only talking about releasing you from the destructive emotions connected with them.“ “And if I don't want to be released?” “You have chosen your prison, Bruce. I'm offering you a way out.” Bruce asks why he should be the protector of Gotham. “Because you  need each other” Protector and Purpose. Needle time again but it has to be Bruce´s choice. It´s painful. No one was angry, just concerned about him. Bruce could not let go of his father´s cuff links. If he does, he can in general let go. He locks them away in a safe. ((Eh as simple as that .. right .. if only)) The guy says he waited long for this. Together they will make Gotham pay. Uhoh.. More fighting, now Bruce wins. This time fighting Bruce felt “nothing.” “Does that mean I can leave” “Is that what you want? The pain to go away? I can take it away, Bruce. I can take it away and you can return to Gotham with a power you never thought possible. It's your choice.” Bruce continues the fight. (( All the training with Alfred and now 5 min with that guy should like change everything .. and that with useless advice)) (( Purpose, Protector, Pain, Possibility .. looks like that guy likes alliterations as much as I do)) Guy and KATHRYN are in contact, confirming that the promised destiny and life free from his pain of the past is bullshit ((Ha, I knew this was too easy, even with ulterior motives..))

KATHRYN having found her card missing apologizes to BARNES ((Hannibal Barnes.. )) They both want the same, she found out someone she thought loyal deceived her.Gordon threatens to undo what both of them seek. Barnes is ready to kill him, he´s guilty after all. Restraints don´t stop him. ((Oh those looks .. did I just start shipping Barnes and Kathryn .. no like not really.. but there was something there, mutual judgment boner .. ))

It´s about relationships. Personal ones. Past ones. Painful ones. The Court has a list where the members can note loved ones who will be spared. Ivy has great knowledge and only applies it to help people she likes (Okay not saying it should be her sole responsibility to save everyone who is sick, but maybe spreading her knowledge about plants could do some good but of course endanger her so nothing I´d blame her for) Leslie´s investigation certainly is motivated by things that are personal as well as factual. Harvey dismissing that roots in his trust in Jim. Would he put the same trust in someone he doesn´t know that well?  Of course this is a guide for judgment but usually we all apply some different rules of judgment on people we like than others. Jim gets all the blast form past relationships. Leslie, Barnes, Oswald. What´s Barbara doing, she should get in on with the party. It´s about credibility and trust again. “Believe me” Jim says to Lee, “Trust me” to Oswald.   How can everyone when he is keeping things secret? Jim Gordon is like an allegory to religion. Harvey the disciple, who knows, everyone else who just hast to believe the promise is valid. .. Okay .. maybe I should sleep..

Aside .. everyone got such a special melody in their speech patterns, Fox, Strange, Kathryn this week as well ..