#Like I've stopped watching cape shit for a few years at this point (with only a couple very specific exceptions)

[msvorderofoperations]

Dream journal time!

Had a few different dreams, all of which were benign, and very fun and interesting.

One involved me guesting on a comedy podcast (that doesn't exist) because I happened to be around when they started recording and they thought I was funny. The only wrinkle came when it was time to record intros, and I couldn't come up with a suitably funny non-sequitur on the spot. The odd thing was, the reason I happened to be around at time of recording was because the host and I worked on other sides of the same desk. For one, that is not really a thing that happens even in shared co-working spaces. And two, if we were working in such close proximity the host should have been familiar enough with me to know whether I'd be a good fit or not for his show.

Following that, the dream shifted to me playing a video game where I was doing co-op to kill the final boss. It was this huge, hulking, purple rage monster that needed infusions of this mutagen whenever it had had sufficient damage done to it. The difficulty was that while it was active and chasing us down, it moved impossibly fast, was very clever, and would shrug off any small amounts of damage. The fight could be made simpler if not necessarily easier by having one person post up next to the next infusion site was and waiting to unload on him as soon as he injected himself. The problem was that ammo was very scarce, and if the boss turned his attention toward the person waiting at the ambush spot, the whole plan had to be abandoned and it was all down to being able to improvise on the fly. Eventually though, we ended up beating the boss and the whole cliffhanger ending is that enough of the mutagen survives to be used by other nefarious parties, but interestingly it was a story in a wholly different medium. Which brings me to the next part of the dream.

I was watching a movie that continued the story, and it was an MCU-styled superhero flick. The protagonist was a speedster that used a pair of handguns and a basically indestructible pool cue to fight baddies. The interesting thing was that while he had a secret identity, it was that of an old butler complete with age makeup and prosthetics. But the secret identity was not to protect his personal life or those close to him, but to allow his employer to covertly gain hidden information or cheat outright at games. The employer is a mega-rich shithead in the style of Miles Bron from Glass Onion, who is mildly obsessed with old and obscure games that he likes foisting on his friends and hangers on. Instead of actually being good at these games he so enjoys, he just has to cheat because even in the nonsense narratives my brain comes up with I know that the mega-wealthy cannot ever actually be creative. Apart from the cheating aspect, the "butler" uses their powerset to act as a bodyguard and protector, but they only ever unmask and let others on to their capabilities when in the presence of the closest inner circle of their boss.

This is demonstrated early on when some braindead stunt the shithead boss pulls goes awry, and a large piece of wood basically explodes in mid-air. And the scene plays out very much like that one scene from X-Men, complete with languidly grabbing splinters and large chunks as they fly apart at ballistic speeds. Unfortunately, they miss a tiny bit of it, which hit the face of this one woman in the crowd of people present. She's ostensibly the trophy wife of one of the other rich assholes and I think it was supposed to be Charlize Theron playing her. It's a small enough thing that it only causes superficial damage, but the superpowered butler feels terrible for having let something slip. She ends up excusing herself to tend to the scratch. As a response to this lacklustre show of power, the husband lets on that he has recently acquired a small amount of the mutagen from the last dream, and plans to use it on himself. He takes a very small dose so he can stay at least visibly human, though the change has very palpable effects. He wears an eye patch owing to a missing eye, but as the change manifests, the muscles of his furrowed brows grow and snap off the strap and reveal that his eye has grown back. And just as his body begins to explosively grow in muscle mass, his wife stabs him through his back, through his heart with her bare hand, and grasps the container of the mutagen.

It turns out that she was already a super powered individual herself, but didn't have any resilience to go with her super strength. So couldn't really make any use of her powers because she would just hurt herself and would have to heal like a normal person, as also evidenced by the fact that the splinter affected her like any normal person. Her hand was messed up quite a lot, but now that she has her hands on the stuff, that is no longer going to be an issue. She had to strike now, because no one had been paying attention to her and if the change had been fully allowed to take place her husbands ongoing abuse to her would have reached inhuman levels. And now that she has the resilience to make use of her strength, she can act out any way that she wants because she knows no one can stop her.

She starts by attempting to butcher all of the hapless rich idiots around her because she had always hated all of them. But despite being woefully outclassed in terms of physical power, the butler tries taking her down anyways. Knowing that a single hit from her will absolutely put him down for good, he has to use his weapons to maintain distance from her. The guns seem to only serve to annoy her, and as time goes on she seems to be growing in strength. He then switches to the pool cue which he uses to deflect blows and once he has gained sufficient spacing, he throws it like a javelin. In the time it takes to reach her however, she is already beginning to redirect the strike. Going into super slow motion, he goes up to the cue and changes the trajectory so that it hits her in the skull, which at this speed still pierces it like a hot knife through butter. When real time resumes, she staggers, but doesn't actually go down. She takes a moment to push the cue all the way through and out the other side, and her body instantly heals, and then she looks up at him and smiles.

As the fight continues, it becomes clear that she is starting to be able to match his speed at least in her reactions if not being able to move like him. Knowing that he can't keep this up forever and she will eventually gain the upper hand if the fight keeps going, he realizes that he has to go completely chaotic otherwise she'll just keep reading his movements and parrying accordingly. This results in him spinning around like the Tasmanian Devil from Looney Tunes, before coming to a dead stop in a very specific spot where he fires both guns. One goes above him, and the other below. Both ricochet off their surroundings, before arcing back towards her. She is able to bat away the one that was in front of her, but the shot that went up hits her from behind, right in the heart. The one place she showed at the very start of this that could put her down permanently. She staggers again, but does not get back up. She falters, and as she begins to bleed out, he empties the last rounds of his ammunition into heart just to make sure.

He sees what remains of the mutagen, and grabs a ludicrously expensive bottle of whisky, smashes it into the container of mutagen and then lights the whole thing on fire. In the chaos of the fight, there have been a few injuries among the rich sycophants, but most of them are still alive including the butler's boss. Instead of assessing the situation and getting help, he just sighs and says "Fuck this noise. I'm sure you'll figure it out" and takes off at supersonic speeds. Credits roll.

And the thing of it is, I know this was a movie because I looked up what the plan was for what was assuredly a new franchise. Because having an R rated cape flick about an anti-hero speedster would actually kinda fun. But it turned out that in the immediate aftermath of the success of the film, the actor got drunk and went on social media and started shouting slurs at people of colour. So. Y'know. Obviously that didn't go forward.

[spellbook-gayboy]

20 with whoever you'd like :)

20.

"Y'know, there are a lot of situations that that phrase can be applied to, dear brother," Ian grumbled, "but one of the very few exceptions is the fact that you only managed to half-cut the rope that's still wrapped around the bloated corpse's neck."

"Okay, that's fair." Rex murmured in response. The corpse in question still dangled limply from its spot on the bare poplar tree, the thick yellow cord that served as a noose digging into swollen and purple flesh. A gentle wind set it in sway, the shiny white footwear attached to its feet occasionally clicking against each other. "Maybe we could find someone to help, or...?" The hero starts, his voice trailing into silence as something dawns upon him. His eyes, from behind the thick goggles, sweep the small backyard they find themselves in. "...where are we? Why are we doing this? This isn't a superhero thing, it's not even a 'Rex and Ian do crimes for fun' thing! Wha- why are we tryna cut down a body?! What the hell is going on?!"

Ian looks his brother over, recognising the expression that was currently stuck to his features. "Honestly, I'd ask the writer. Some of these prompts have been low-effort before, but this?" he declares, throwing his hands up in a display of useless frustration. "Thi-this is just a scene from Disco Elysium! Like a straight rip-off!"

"Disco... Elysium?" Rex questions. The specific combination of words rings empty in his mind, the two nouns sounding almost absurd next to one another. The gears within turn: could he be referring to some obscure police procedural from decades past, or a novel in his house's vast library? Perhaps something more current, like a film that just released in theatres, or even, God forbid, a trending topic on social media? Despite the absurdity, there is a pang of familiarity at the name, scratching at the edges of that pink wet sponge between his ears. He focuses, and focuses, until...

ENCYCLOPEDIA [Challenging: Success] - Disco Elysium is a video game, written and designed by the Estonian novelist Robert Kurvitz and a collective of fellow artists, musicians and creators, and is currently published by the games publishing company ZA/UM. It styles itself as a 'detective RPG', and features a distinctive painterly art direction, the brainchild of oil painter Aleksander Rostov. From what you've been able to recollect, there is also an apparent ongoing legal dispute between Kurvitz and shareholders of ZA/UM, and you have been advised several times to not the game legitimately, lest you contribute further to the practices of ZA/UM. The advice seems sound, and you already have the perfect method of pirating it on your games console. You will do it, once your curiosity tips you into morally justified piracy.

"Woah woah woah, stop that!"

I'm sorry?

"You! Yes, you! Listen here, Harry, putting us in a different setting is one thing, but subjecting my little brother to the game mechanics? Oh, you should be thanking your ancestors that I'm a fictional character, or I'd have ripped your fucking balls off by now!"

Okay, first of all, it's the new year, and I'm trying to spice up my writing a little. I'm sorry that being out of your comfort zone scares you, Ian, but you need to understand-

"I don't need to understand shit! Listen, Cape-Watch, the old man, everything up until now, completely fine! It's in-universe, so I don't have a problem with any of it! But this?! What's even the point? A funny reference? A fourth-wall break? Like, at least plan these out first!"

How am I supposed to plan these out? They're meant to be short little snippets where people can point and yell 'there's my little guy!' Nothing more than a little serotonin boost before the weekend. Were you expecting Shakespeare?

"Don't give me that! I've seen you write better than this, Harry! Don't you want to be... I don't know, a great writer? One of the greats of AO3, or whatever?"

Not really. Sometimes I write prose, and sometimes I write pigshit. At the end of the day, as long as I can still write, I'm happy. It's all words to me, Ian.

Ian sighs. He rubs exhaustedly at his brow, already tired of debating his creators' reasons for writing. "Fine, whatever makes you happy. Just take us home so I can wipe my own memory."

Rex was very confused by what he had just heard. "What the fuck."