#Like I constantly hear ppl say say shit about how we should just cut off all the southern states because everyone is racist and uneducated

[haitanisbug]

An one more thing bc I’m a hater tonight, I cannot stand CANNOT STAND ppl who were born in the south lived a great part of their life here and then move to a northern state. Y’all have the worst opinions, have this weird sense of superiority and ultimately you’re just dumb as fuck.

[3-frogs-in-a-trenchcoat]

//tw cancer, scroll if you can't handle it please

im sure we've all heard by now that Techno has cancer and many of us are upset, its a horrible illness that no one (emphasis on no one) deserves.

First off, lets look at the positive side of things and calm down a bit: by the sound of things it was caught early or, at the very least, in time. Its in his arm so its less likely to spread to rest of his body. He has the money to afford good treatment, which he's already getting. And, most importantly, hes shown he has positive attitude (I mean he plugged his merch). Us freaking out and getting real upset won't help him or us. I don't think we should be more nervous about it than the guy who has it. I feel we've already moved past the freaking out phase a bit but there are ppl who need to hear it. breathe. calm down. he's receiving positive support from many sides so lets keep it going.

now, for a list of things that I have seen or that if I see, every second you're not running I'm getting closer and its on sight (under the cut)

1. "I don't like him but..." " I don't watch him but..." but shhhh. then you'll say that he doesn't deserve it, or that you hope he gets better, which is good, but we can make that statement even better by eliminating that first part. the fact that you don't consume his content should have no impact in if you wish him well or you think he deserves it.

2. on that note, NO he doesn't deserve it. no one deserves to have a life threatening illness. I sincerely don't care who you stan or any other reason why you think he "deserves" it. lets not even get into how fcked up that is and just keep it to yourself. no one wants to know.

3. anything about the smp. I should think it goes without saying that it isn't his focus rn? if you can't understand the why then consider: you've survived months on tiny scraps of lore, I think you can keep going. another thing, if for some reason you still care: the smp isn't "falling apart", if you want smp content, watch vods or, how about the other streamers that still play on it often? same applies for other content: he will upload when and if he can and feels up to it.

4. speaking on the smp, cc!techno has cancer, not c!techno. I can't believe I had to include this but I saw a tweet and apparently its a thing?? NO fanart, NO fanfics. I do not, and I repeat, I do NOT want to see a drawing of c!techno in prison with cancer on any tl. Thats weird. Don't make it weird. snap out of it, separate real life and the smp, cancer is a serious thing with actual consequences, not smth you can add to a character for angst or bc the cc that play them has it. I think I speak for most of us when I say it makes everybody uncomfortable, to say the very least.

5. just generally don't make it about you. and I don't mean sharing your experiences with cancer, that's ok (in the proper setting). I mean constantly and repeteadly going "oh IM so upset about this" "this affected ME so much", you know? this includes "but technoblade never dies 🥺"

6. also keep in mind many can't handle the news all that well, because of whatever reason or trigger so NO ONE give anyone shit if they need to step away from everything. be decent.

to be clear, I haven't seen most of this stuff on Tumblr yet. I write it here bc 1. I can reach more people that I can on twitter and 2. I don't have to write a snooty sounding thread on twitter. feel free to add on or, more importantly, spread it so we can stop it earlier than later. I really hope techno gets better and I know he's strong enough to do so, so we just need to be there for him in the best way possible.

[squeege-chomp]

character hcs for craig and kyle perhaps?? 👀👀

okay so hcs under cut cause i dont wanna spam my ppl who arent here for sp

starting off with craig because i may or may not have favorites ( im rlly just more familiar with his character )

1: mans is gay,, like i hear some ppl say hes bi or something but,, no,, thats a gay dude if ive ever seen one

2: otp: creek- ( we get so many great interactions with them its hard to not get attached ) they bring out the best in one another tweek helped craig to open up with how he feels and craig helps tweek deal with stress and anxiety but also in highschool they were defiantly on-and-off and it drove everyone crazy

3: brotp: cryde- they are besties,, you get catg together and craig an clyde are gonna be so attatched at the hip people question if craig and tweek are together or if craig and clyde are together also clyde helped craig deal with the whole on-and-off thing and helped him decide to stay with tweek and craig is v thankful for it

4: notp- pretty much craig shipped with anyone else ( im chill with crenny cause we get some good interactions with them ) like some people really stick craig with anyone that breates even if it makes no since but you do you boo

5: first headcanon that pops into my head: he chose to drop out of college [ he wants to work at nasa dont @ me okay ] to help tweek with coffee shop,, not a phenomenal hc but off the top of my head

6: one way in which I relate to this character: as a craig kinne lets not get into all that- but uhhh were both deemed the trouble maker kids by peoples parents,, like damn bro okay

7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: every time a teacher or adult is like "craig the gay one,, did we mention that hes gay" because it is mad embarrassing to be "the gay kid" and nothing more but ayy what do i know 8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave? problematic fave for sure,, mans has a criminal record,, beat the shit outta his now boyfriend,, and flips absolutely everyone off,, also hello?? hes gay.. what are we supposed to tell the children when they see a gay character??

okay so now for kyle:

1: bi,, in the closet but the door is open

2: otp: i actually dont really have one for him,, idc who hes with as long as he finally gets some good things going for him

3: brotp: style- alright look man,, stan know how to help a friend out and constantly helps him out with cartmans crusty ass and kyle has stayed up countless times with a drunken stan just listening to him rant and in highschool he even got stan to cut back on the alcohol

4: notp: kyman- alright look,, no hate i just cant see it,, i love enemys to lovers but no matter what way i turn it,, it just seems doomed

5: first headcanon that pops into my head: hes pretty average height but wears platform boots to make himself taller,, i dont make the rules its just fax

6: one way in which I relate to this character: we both got that complicated relationship with religion ayyy but we wont go deeper into that can of worms

7: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character: the fact that hes a ginger he should just do what i do and dye that shit /hj

8: cinnamon roll or problematic fave? everyone in south park is a problematic fave but im giving him the cinnamon roll stamp because hes a good kid

[6ad6ro]

there's a lot of posts about piracy going around rn. so here's mine:

anti-piracy arguments are almost always classist. you shouldn't need to be rich to be happy. we were all born into capitalism. it's not voluntary. many of us don't have parents or other support networks keeping us afloat. poor people still deserve to have nice things. i could care less about keeping a system running smoothly that keeps most people poor and only few people rich.

if you work a shitty, low-paying job, then a simple monthly streaming service fee is YES actually too much to ask. no i don't care if your fav big company loses "potential" money from people who couldn't afford to buy them to begin with.

if there wasn't such a thing as "poverty"? if people could generally AFFORD to go out and easily get the things they want and need? obviously piracy wouldn’t be much of an issue at all. it's always frustrating to hear anti-piracy arguments from people who ignore how CRAZY expensive cost of living has become. again, usually the biggest anti-piracy peeps are either naive rich kids (who have things paid for), rich ppl who STAY rich by keeping things broken like they are, and the poor people they’ve brainwashed into being submissive hosts to their parasitic behavior.

in a world like this, where people are overworked and tired? with very few tangible goals available in their future? people NEED entertainment to stay sane. it's literally a mental health issue. yes, in a way, you NEED that funny show to inspire yourself to keep going. that game you can't afford otherwise? will help you relax after a hard day. don't let some disney mouthpiece tell you shouldn't download lion king if it'd help calm you down, especially when the people running that company could probably afford to have a private zoo in their backyard.

there's ALSO the big issue of control. as companies move further and further into streaming and cloud technologies? ownership has become a huge issue. greedy companies are finding more and more ways to nickel and dime people over long periods of time rather than get a one-time fee. it makes them more money, they don't have to actually GIVE customers anything (copies of data are free to them). and customers are left with nothing to show for it after-the-fact. this means that even though entertainment is being produced way more than the past? i’d argue people have LESS access to the entertainment they want for how much they’re paying. because it’s all temporary.

drm and limited use is becoming a norm. meaning? it's harder and harder for people to "own" their favorite things even if they COULD afford it. your favorite movie might simply cease to exist in 20 years. your favorite game might become nothing but a fragmented memory.

"piracy" solves this. backups. ownership. it takes control away from companies who abused that power. and puts it back in your hands. when nintendo stopped making their back catalogue available? and went around shutting down all the emulation sites? i was thankfully in the clear. because i download and archived many of my favorite things. in many cases i own cartridges of my favorite games already? but those can break, or in my case, get caught in a flood. but due to piracy, i can still play "mario 64" to pull myself away from suicidal thoughts. and i'm not limited by nintendo randomly deciding to remove it from the switch store and take the cartridges off of store shelves? in order to drive up their yearly profit via copycatting the methods used for the "disney vault" scam (look it up).

i am someone who tends to enjoy things from other countries. but it can be INCREDIBLY restrictive to try to go through "official" channels attempting to pay for them. if i want that old, relatively unpopular 80s japanese prog rock album? i'm just stuck. i HAVE to hope someone is sharing it online. but this often applies to new things as well. "licensing" is generally INCREDIBLY stupid, especially when it comes to other regions. do you REALLY want simple licensing issues to stand between you and your potential new favorite anime? and in many cases, the distributors just don't care enough to make the thing available globally. and no, i don't think this should mean we all just "miss out".

one of the biggest issues we are experiencing online at the moment? is one of censorship. governmental censorship, religious censorship, and maybe worst of all? corporate censorship. i'm not talking about "bring back racist imagery" etc (but that DOES play a part). i'm more talking... rewriting history. edits. removal. for example, it shouldn't be left to some corporation to decide whether or not a sex scene in a movie is deemed "too racy" for today's audience. if somebody creates an amazing album, but then commits some awful unrelated act later, that shouldn't mean that album should be made unavailable. in many cases, old media can even TEACH us what NOT to do. we gain nothing by erasing history. and corporations are never doing it to be moral. they're only following required guidelines in order to maximize profit. “fake showings of morality” to keep up appearances and keep all potential buyers buying. piracy can give you the OPTION of access to unedited works, or things that have been removed from circulation.

piracy can negate corporate control and artificial-scarcity. create opportunities for absorbing other culture's art without having to deal with availability issues in your country. it circumvents corporate and governmental censorship. and helps you archive the art that makes your life worth living.

finally... the "but it's stealing and stealing is wrong" argument is invalidated by the fact that, by ANY moral compass? these companies are STEALING from US. constantly. by a LOT. look at the way any big company is run. the way it leeches off of it's customer base. the offshore tax havens... does THAT seem okay to YOU?! if someone went around stealing all the food and locking it up, would you REALLY consider "breaking in" to get some so that u didn't starve as "stealing"? don't pretend that you don't NEED escapism and entertainment to get by. you know that you do.

the only people that piracy COULD hurt? is small, independent artists. who, if you actually listen to them, would rather you send them money directly? or buy merch. etc. because companies usually take SUCH an awful cut that it’s better to find alternate ways of supporting them. if you use reasonable context with what you decide to download and share? it’s fine! like i might buy a depeche mode vinyl or two? or a shirt. or go to a concert. but i’ll pirate that $1000 rare box set. because i just can’t AFFORD that kind of excess. and my income doesn’t dictate how big of a fan i am of their music. as long as you chip in when you can to your favorite creators? it’s actually fine. if i didn’t pirate, i wouldn’t be into 95% of the artists i’m currently into. i’ve spent so much on media that it’s almost embarrassing... my argument might not be entirely black and white? but i can safely say that piracy’s positives GREATLY outweigh it’s negatives. most research done has shown time and time again that it doesn’t really hurt creators. if anything, it’s the way greedy companies REACT to the idea of file sharing that hurts those creators. it really is an argument of big corporations trying to make sure they keep ALL the money. and it has almost nothing to do with art or artist’s rights. so please keep sharing everything. download away. for the sake of your own sanity, and generations down the line. because corporations don’t care about you. they don’t care about artists. and they don’t care about maintaining easy access to the art. they just want money, regardless of the cost to everyone else’s happiness. and if you can afford to PAY for it regularly? you should consider yourself very lucky. so maybe stop shitting all over poor people who unfairly have less access to what you already have. everybody deserves to be happy.

[smallestclowninthecircus]

Season 3 notes popping off

due to my desire to not completely fail all my classes this year i made myself slow down significantly while listening to this season, and the fact that the other person i'm listening along with had to catch up. We've managed to convert several other people to start listening and its pretty great.

ep 81: what does it even mean to be chosen by one of them? And if he was chosen by the eye. we know Gertrude wasnt? Because she cut the eyes out of the magazines?

ep 82: elias lmao. I understand why people like him so much bahshdhdk i thought he was gonna snitch on Jon but he didnt so he's fine. Ok but how do we think he knew all that stuff. Idk probably just institute connections. I love the fact that the recorder just wants to record stuff randomly bjahsjdhd. Elias feels a lot like Michael in the sense that he knows more than he should and talks in a way that implies he just wants to wait and see how things play out for his own benefit. I understand him knowing the things that happened but his description of her emotions implies something paranormal. Maybe he's connected to one of the entities. Which one I cannot guess.

ep 83: did a file get delivered randomly to the place he's staying at? Probably elias lmao. He thinks the mannequin is related to the stranger. Idk I would believe it.

ep 84: worms? I know he says earth worms but idk. Again? Is she making gordon golems out of trash? Martin popping off. You can tell the statements get to him more that they get to Jon. How come martin is so mad about it? I want to assume he just doesnt want her to get stuck there but idk. Jude Perry. The calliope organ. Jon heard a circus in one of the last episodes

ep 89: he's talking to perry? Like jude Perry? He says ... God? Is that what it is? Lmao. The Desolation. Jon is tired of ppl being vague and not telling him stuff lmao. Oh God Jon is so confused. Compel her? Is she assuming he has some kind of power? Does he have powers? Hmm. im agreeing with jon here please jesus christ why does everyone have to be so cryptic. Just say what you mean. "maybe you get an itchy eye" bahasjkdfklsjdf girl what. Agnes saved her? Oh this is the girl from the cafe story? So theres the Cult of the Lightless Flame? They worship whatever entity this is? The Desolation? Why do they all seem like they sorta worship her then? Is Gretchen gonna die oh god. fuckin michael. a different michael aaah. i see. dont do it shes gonna burn you. sir. please. sir dont you dare do- WHAT DID I SAY what did you think was gonna happen hhh.

ep 90: try to make it less obvious you're trying to get fired big T. Elias that doesnt sound like the most healthy thing to do. oh dear is this gonna be triggering for me. uuuuuh. uuuuuuuuuh. doesnt seem like it ok gonna keep listening. Jared. hmmmmm. Ok we've seen Keay and hotner or whatever his name was.

ep 91: Michael Crew. Oh is this the lightning scar guy. Mister jon sir did you just die. No? God everyone is so fuckin cryptic. Say normal things please. They all just like to go on about pain and agony and j e s u s c h r i s t we get it you got hurted by whatever thing. So theyre avatars? question mark? Jude Perry is an avatar of The Desolation? hhhh fractals. thats a spiral thing innit. Yup. messing with your perceptions. God they all talk about feeding their god and feeding that which feeds them and. hh what does that meann. Leave big J. please. uh oh. is it daisy? how come he has the web lighter still? the tape recorder just turns on sometimes you know how it is. So he can compel people? not that he knows it obviously but. a bit wack. powers go brr i guess? If the eye just wants knowledge i guess he feeds it by getting the statements? b/c i doubt it wants him to murder ppl or whatever.

ep 92: elias you all knowing fuck what do you know. (i guess all given what i just said) Lukas. Heard of them before. Mordecai Lukas. Loneliness. The lonely even. Jonah Magnus. Elias ur sounding like a bit of a dickhead rn. lmao jon's just like "i dont care" elias what is ur deal. Why does he want to tie her in. ohh i see. lmao theyre all just like "elias why" The Unknowing lol seems very much like something the eye wouldnt like. lol elias is gettin all philosophical. what does it really mean to be human. this still doesnt answer why gertrude wanted to destroy the archives tho.

ep 93: bahsjdfh he seems so dead inside rip. awww admiral. i love him already. ghh breacon and hope. purple mold. doesnt sound like anything we've seen so far. I think the funniest explanation for breacon and hope is that they dont actually serve the stranger they just kinda happen to be a random neutral party that cart around random spooky entity related stuff. ooooh. when we hear the slight static of the tape recorder it's cuz he's compelling ppl.

ep 94: the end! listen man they were all just grayed up for 4/13.

ep 95: the end also? death but also savagery/ animalistic shit. aww martin. lmao becerra. she's just been chillin in the corner.

ep 96: return to sender. haha minecraft go brr. prediction: breacon and hope? yup there we go. jon why is there an echo. are you in a stairwell? is he gonna eat it- yup. how did i call it. unsure abt what theyre talking about but ok. they kidnapped someone? Sarah Baldwin. ooooh that guy.

ok im just putting this here so i have notes for when nicholas gets to this part. It seems like (from jon's conversation with jude perry) that the desolation and the eye are kinda at odds with eachother? like i guess not directly but it seems like they dont really vibe? so how could be with both. Cuz if he has the heat powers and shit then we know he's an avatar of the desolation. but then why does he have so much eye imagery. also he got burned intentionally? like jude did when she went on her monologue about the feeling of burning? but then why did he wear the eye pendant. it stops him from being burned all the way which seems like he's not fully accepting the fire or whatever.

Nooooo I lost like a bunch of my notes rip. I keep forgetting to save.

Ep 104: tim gives a coherent statement without jon even being there. Ugh. Fucking robert smirk. Dont like him. Joey. Dont recognize the name. The show must go on. Clown. The spooky circus?

ep 105: total war... shogun 2? jon is just understanding languages again. "if i understood mandarin or cantonese" are you sure you dont big man?

ep 106: havent we heard this one already? mans in space? oh no this is just another episode in space. fairchild... uuuh. cant remember. oh! this is related to that! this is one of the ppl from the other side. sounds like a Vast thing. oh he's the one that the dude saw? but that guy didnt have a face... she's sorta like jon. wanting to dismiss the statements. lmao i love the workplace gossip. ace jon for the win! oh cmon elias dont be a dick. sunny meadows or whatever. thats the place we heard about.

ep 107: oh great is it jude perry again. Third Degree. bahahsdkfj she was arrested. sorry but imagining this old british lady getting arrested is funny. she was trying to resurrect him. using the skin book. he's not feeling well. jon take a nap. i wonder if this is what happens when he uses his powers too much. He gets into The Zone when he reads statements lol. didn't we have a burning train car in anothre statement? is it julia fairchild? bahahahs "kidnapped. Again." poor jon honestly. julia... about her dad. daughter of the murder shed guy? hunting like your dad liked to hunt or normal people hunting. oh hunting vampires!

ep 108: melanie has been suffering. poor martin peter lukas why do you have to be like this. can he not just use the front door? does he have to bother the ppl doing statements?

ep 109: how come he cut her off? kinda rude tbh. its either jon's influence or there was smth he didnt want her saying. is it gerard on the table? this sounds kinda like smth from one of the university episodes. is it the closed eye on the hand? yup. he's like one of the students! if the thing listening in is elias then... he can do that without the tape recorder yknow. plus who's to say it wont just turn itself on again

110: who wants to bet its a leitner?

111: Lukas related to The Lonely. I used to not like Gerard that much but i like him more now. but i thought there were 15? ohhh thats right isnt flesh newer? gerry for the win honestly. finally telling jon things.

112: lol "again" no one ever tells any of these ppl anything. tim and basira are just out of the loop constantly. music, like the war episodes. The hunt or the slaughter? probably the hunt. so Daisy is related to the hunt right? basira likes the reading, she's doing fine at the institute. daisy's getting worried...

113: it just turned on randomly. what is it lol. explossives! oh boy. why do they always assume he turned it on intentionally. melanie youre not making me like you that much. which entity is this about i cant tell. lol he was disappointed it was just the end. The title Breathing Room made me think it was gonna be about the buried but i guess not. So many of these entities deal with death but the end is one that deals in just death. it has no need for fancy deaths, just death is enough

114: more hilltop road statements? the tree. oh boy. ok the tree has 8 arms obviously theres the spider parallels. was she taken into an alternate universe? oh no. jon tries to phrase things so he's not asking questions. thats honestly good. "sometimes i was kidnapped" oh dear. they got gertrude. daisy ur so odd lmao. who wants to bet they dont know the tape recorder's running?

115: silaca? or whatever? antique man? meat grinder... related to the meat is meat episode? oh wow. they buy antiques from him. maybe dont antagonize this creature which can kill you?

116: lol theyre all just so done with elias. music? is it like the one band that if you hear them you die or wtvr. oh its chess? i am very much confused. mmm stranger go brr. gorilla skin? oh shit the dance. woah. this is so good. this is so gender. the words are wonderful. "you can just say tim" lmao trying to fool elias never feels like a good idea.

117: except elias lmaoo. oh shit. leitner getting some use for once idk. bruuh poor melanie she has been thru so much shit. martin you can just say youre worried about jon. lol he's so accurate in his jon impression. lol who was that. was that daisy? lmaoo. oop hi tim. oh god i hope tim doesnt die. i feel like i wouldve heard about that? but im not sure. destroying the source of knowledge is gonna be hard for jon. yay jon! you did a good thing. let him rest.

118: go off martin lmao. awww poor martin. oh god the tape gets that squealy quality and its awful.

119: woah. lots of things happening. uhh. POP OFF TIM!!

120: lmao elias giving a statement about jon's dreams lol. damn jon doesnt even get his own dreams? has to stay Watching even when he's asleep? f in the chat this man goes thru so much shit. oh boy its peter. lol martin my beloved. idk i dont trust peter.

[dastardlydandelion]

Max Mayfield and Tory Nichols in a horror film, what would be the plot/monster and would they survive?

this is it. this is the tumblr ask. the ask i've been waiting for my whole life. my time to shine, here we go!

filming begins under the cut:

tried and true creature feature, this is a werewolf movie. let's go with a werewolf between the van helsing (2004) and trick r treat (2007) variety. the beast once transformed is fucking huge, clearly both lupine and human, head almost entirely wolf, body primarily bipedal in shape, but robust, sinew shredding claws and big ass bone tearing teeth. also tails!! bc tails are cute!!! powers include monstrous strength, accelerated speed, healing factor. weaknesses silver and decapitation.

okay, so van helsing (2004) werewolves are mindless rage monsters and trick r treat (2007) werewolves are cognizant. for our max & tory creature feature, they're gonna of the in between variety. i chose a werewolf movie for these two specifically bc they both have their anger problems and the werewolf has long been a symbol of anger unleashed in the horror genre, even tho common gray wolves are just like. i mean, yk, animals, they hunt and howl and pee on trees and most of the time would rather avoid humans. but obvi horror genre werewolves are not common gray wolves, they need to be scary, and like, the remnants of traditional folklore influenced by rabies and discourse in the middle ages...wait, where was i going with this? anger, yes, max and tory both have anger problems and i think this works for what i'm gonna do with this theoretical movie.

who's the werewolf in town? terry fucking silver. bc terry is evil and dramatic and also, i think it's rly funny for a werewolf to have silver as a surname. he's fully cognizant in his transformation and he's purposefully biting kids and teenagers bc he wants more talented karate students. and like. yk, with the enhanced strength, speed, and regenerative recovery of lycanthropy, well. there u have it, more talented karate students.

do max and tory know each other, if so, how? okay, so in this 'verse tory is a lil older than max. that reflects their canon ages, i think. let's say max is 13 and tory is 16. billy has tory in some of his classes and he more or less makes a deal to spilt his allowance with her if she'll babysit max bc he's tired of neil riding his ass to babysit max. tory needs money so she's like, 'sure, why not.' max finds it rly stupid that she's 13 and neil thinks she needs a fucking babysitter but as far as babysitters go, tory is fun. she likes to show max what she's learning in cobra kai and they spar together a lot. max would actually like to join cobra kai but 1) neil would throw a fit on various fronts and 2) lucas is in miyagi-do. max knows there's some rly intense beef between cobra kai and miyagi-do. ofc tory's filled her in on the karate war, how could she not?

well one day tory takes max to the playground to watch a plane fly like she does with miggy in ck, and it's nighttime, ofc, and lo, the full moon is out. shining up in the sky. they hear a howl. they both look at each other. max is kinda curious but tory's like nah, nah, we gotta go. she grabs her, starts pulling her along. but the next howl is a lot closer and they can hear smth running and it just sounds fuckin big. they're running too now, legs pumping hard, but there's no escape once the beast is right behind them, hot, rancid breath blasting the backs of their necks and harvest gold eyes glowing in the dark.

max gets bitten first. tory tries to kick the big ass beast off of her and then it rounds and bites her too. the terror is real now. and then shockingly, as fast as it'd come, it leaves. neither girl has an explanation for wtaf just happened but tory takes max home. billy gripes at her for being out late but helps her patch up. when susan learns what happens she decides to take max to get rabies shots right away. loads her up in the car, runs her off to the emergency room-- but when the bandages come off, they are no wounds.

tory's bby bro tries to help patch her up too. but he's like 4 yrs old and his idea of "help" is sticking bandaids with cartoon characters up and down the wounds in haphazard fashion. tory plans to redo it all properly once she's put him to bed. sure enough after he's asleep, and she peels the bandaids off from every open mouthed pac-man to every green teenage mutant ninja turtle, the wounds are gone.

meanwhile there's missing ppl err day on the news. terry turns kids and teens but kills adults for the lulz.

tory and max know what happened to them was an event that tangibly, definitely happened but neither have any explanation for their wounds just disappearing. max, our resident horror fan, is the first to propose a real life werewolf as an explanation. she cites the missing ppl on the news. tory thinks she's tripping balls but reluctantly gives an inch when she acknowledges no, she can't think of any other explanation.

life goes on. max tells lucas what happened only she leaves out the part abt tory bc she's not gonna tell a miyagi-do student she's kickin it w the enemy. he doesn't rly believe her, like how she didn't rly believe him about the upside-down in their canon. he thinks the horror movies are rotting her brain.

tory almost tells her dojo but she gets distracted being pissed off by sam and that should be her priority, right? sensei kreese is always going on abt getting back at the enemy. she spends her shifts daydreaming abt revenge bc it's more comforting than worrying abt past due bills and her mother looking paler by the day.

full moon next month comes around. neither tory nor max are cognizant of or during their first respective transformations. max's first kill is neil. she's seven feet of fur and fury, tears his ribcage open with claws like daggers and sinks her teeth into his putrid, maggoty heart. susan isn't home. billy is, but he doesn't hear any of the fracas. he's unconscious on the living room floor, crisscrossing impressions of neil's belt buckle blaring red on his back.

tory's first kill is sam. sam larusso wants to think she's a bully?? fine, tory will show her a bully. she hops the miyagi-do fence after hours. she just wants a fight. just a fight, they always fight. but then she's sprouting fur and tory as tory gives way to smth else. she'd not aware of being a person when she doesn't have fur. not really, all she knows is rage and ravenousness and the morsel below her has bunny rabbit wide eyes.

neither of them remember what they did the next day. not vividly, anyway. it's there but it's cloudy and hard to discern, like a groggy fever dream more than a memory. but max burps up neil's wedding band and tory finds señor octopus (sam's stuffed animal) bloodied in her bed. it's apparent what happened. max accepts this more easily than tory bc 1) she always kind of suspected she'd turn, since she sincerely considered what attacked them was a werewolf and 2) max isn't terribly upset abt killing neil while tory is acutely horrified she killed sam.

max kinda had some smidgen of attachment to neil bc like, he's the only father figure in her life and here and there they've had their moments. but his abuse (psychological/physical toward billy, sexual/financial/psychological/emotional toward susan, psychological/emotional toward herself) outweighed any and all of those moments. she is genuinely concerned that she tore a human being to pieces and only vaguely remembers it but like, if she had to kill anyone, she figures neil was the best to kill. max is mostly concerned bc she can't kill neil a second time. she's worried the next time she turns it could be an innocent person, or one of her friends, or her mom, or billy.

tory is blindsided and scarcely able to comprehend the reality, holy shit, max was right, she's a fuckin werewolf. and she's sick to her stomach bc she hated sam but she never wanted to do anything like that. she didn't want to kill, she just wanted to break her face. scare her. rough her up. she didn't want to eat her. she just killed someone. she's a literal horror movie monster and she just killed sam. what's miguel going to think?

tory and max talk. they decide they need to find the werewolf who turned them. we get montages of them going over the news articles with a fine-toothed *ba dum tss* comb and searching areas where it seems like a werewolf would be. the woods. some caves. max all of a sudden has a freakishly tall man constantly hounding her to join cobra kai. neil's gone but she still hesitates bc of lucas being in miyagi-do. also he believes max now and with the proff, she's decided to let the rest of the party in as well. they also exist in this 'verse. she showed them the crime scene and the wedding band she burped up. billy isn't a roid rage racist in this 'verse bc that would be a giant buzzkill. he doesn't believe the werewolf shit either. he thinks max saw neil get attacked by some animal and that the carnage was so traumatizing for her, she subconsciously created a werewolf fantasy to cope.

tory meanwhile spirals downward. bc she passes sam's memorialized locker in the hall everyday. her memorial table in the other hall, full of sticky note condolences and mournful teddy bears, and a picture of sam right in the center always, always accusing her. miggy is heartbroken and distraught. hawk didn't care for sam but even he's freaked out by what happened, how the news said there were only torn up chunks and bones picked clean found in her bedroom. tory is terrified of herself. she's desperate to find whoever did this bc she wants to make them pay. if sensei silver has been asking her extra questions lately and presenting her performance to the class more than normal, she doesn't notice at all. aisha notices tory's fucked up but tory can't exactly tell aisha that she *ate* sam. aisha is also mourning, she and sam used to be bffs. so she doesn't say a word.

max has a theory that if u can learn to control ur anger, u can learn to control urself when u shift. she is, after all, v familiar with angry horror movie werewolves. and she's savvy enough to know it's smth she and tory have in common. neil is dead but that doesn't mean max isn't angry anymore. she's still angry at the damage already done and tbh also angry that there's some werewolf around turning ppl willy nilly bc she recognizes the danger in that and it wasn't smth she consented to. but controlling ur anger is an easier feat for max than tory insofar that max has a support system w her friends, and better relationships with the remainder of her fam. tory has two mentors actively, adamantly teaching her and her friends to be ruthless, view the world as ur enemy, use violence as ur go-to solution, and that mercy is weakness not to be tolerated.

when the next full moon rolls around, they decide to spend it together under the correct inference that they will transform. they think it's better to be together. they're hoping they'll be able to control each other, if not themselves. or that if they are both mindless rage monsters again, that rage will be turned on each other. this would be a better outcome operating on the presumption that one werewolf will be able to take what another can dish out, at the v least more so than a regular human being.

max is successfully able to maintain enough of her consciousness to control her actions once transformed. she feels aggressive and hungry, but not enraged and ravenous. she can keep it in check. tory, on the other hand, uh...tory can't do it. she throws her wolf head back in the most bloodcurdling howl ever and takes off like a bat outta hell. max goes loping after her. they can't speak like human speak in this form, but max tries to communicate with her. whimpers plaintively. tackles tory at one point, not out of anger but just tryna subdue her, licks at her ears and tries to get her to settle. tory bucks her off.

tory runs off again, max in pursuit. they wind up at the skate park where billy n robby are prolly up to some fuckery or another. i could easily see pre miyagi-do robby n billy getting up to all kinds of mischief. ooh, actually, they're prolly arguing abt that. now that robby's in miyagi-do he has another outlet for all his energy and he's getting the positive attention he craves so he's not participating in hooligan activity or shenanigans w billy anymore and billy is like. offended. except suddenly there's werewolves. fucking. snarling, gigantic, toothy, hairy ass werewolves.

let's say robby kicked miguel down two stories in this 'verse too and tory recognizes him in her werewolf form even if she isn't exactly cognizant of herself. she tears straight for him, jaws open. billy doesn't exactly *mean* to protect him but it's kinda an automatic reaction from putting himself in between whenever he thought neil was getting too aggressive w susan or max. and like, sure, robby's the better fighter (not that billy would ever acknowledge this) but it's not like he's gonna karate kick the motherfuckin werewolf anyway-- billy is bigger, he's bigger and it's instinct and the next thing he knows, he's in between robby and the thing w sharp teeth (tory).

and that's when max gets serious. she bowls tory over, away from billy before she can bite. they're rolling, tearing at each other with teeth and claws. lo and behold, terry silver is lurking in the background like the evil mastermind he is, just watching them shred each other and evaluating his experiment. it's a p close match and tory is the more aggressive of the two but she's also been going, going, going since she shifted and she's burning herself out. she's also fighting with the blind instinct of a threatened animal while max maintains more precision bc she has better control of herself. max also isn't wasting energy unnecessarily. max gets her jaws around tory's throat and tory just goes slack. but she can think and she doesn't want to hurt tory, so she opens her mouth and relaxes her maw, teeth grazing harmlessly thru tory's fur.

tory's being shown mercy. possibly for the first time. it's so unlike her conception of others' ruthlessness, so unlike the worldview that's been instilled into her that it startles her enough to crack thru to her cognizance. she does the wolfy deference thing where they tuck their tails and lick at the dominant pack member's muzzle. max responds in kind and lets tory up.

this is when they notice terry lurking (billy's already worked out the werewolf that came to his defense is max so he's just dumbfounded watching all this shit, and robby's not abt to leave someone who just saved his ass, so he's stuck unsuccessfully tryna pull billy away and inevitably watching too). terry calmly slinks over, sizing up his charges. he's pleased with the performance. but tory and max are anything but, another werewolf fight ensues.

so while they all get huge after transforming sheerly on the basis of being werewolves, i'm gonna guess the size is proportionate to their human forms. so tory is a little larger than max and terry significantly outsizes them both. terry is also the more experienced werewolf. it's two against one but it's not the curbstop it would be if this was some weaksauce werewolf, it's dramatic evil karate werewolf terry fuckin silver. terry's shredding tf outta these two. their healing factor can't keep up, he's dishing out faster than either of them can recover and tbh they were already winded from fighting each other first.

but it'd be a major buzzkill if our movie had a downer ending. and also, the power of determination and friendship and shit. terry's got his jaws around max's throat now. he's a millisecond away from tearing it open. tory's pinned under him but she thinks fast, frees a hind leg, and rips her claws down his soft underbelly as deep as she can and doesn't stop ripping, like pedal kicking almost for a human, but with her hind claws. his intestines shoot out like paper snakes from a gag candy can!! okay, well, maybe they don't shoot out w that much gusto, but still. the bowels are free, the bowels are hanging low and tory's tearing 'em tf up, fluids n fecal matter errywhere. on tory. i'm sorry tory. ur under him, that's just how gravity works.

terry dies. healing factor can't keep up with the damage done, it's too critical. but nobody knows it's terry until the dawn breaks and he reverts back to his human shape.

max is v much 'i told u so,' in billy's face. robby promises not to tell. he doesn't want to get mauled or killed or anything. tory's able to cope better with what she did to sam knowing that it won't happen again, that she won't hurt anyone else she doesn't want to be she can control herself now. tory believes in mercy now bc max spared her, she trashes kreese's philosophy and joins eagle fang when johnny and daniel join forces in this 'verse too. max also joins eagle fang, takes her place in the front row right between tory and lucas at her v first practice.

credits roll.

after the credits we see tory considering turning her mother in the hopes that having the healing factor would help her mom's condition improve.

is that a teaser for the sequel?

idfk.

[girls-scenarios]

Do Something

Idol: JiU (Dreamcatcher)

Prompt: Dreamcatcher highschool au where JiU is a nerd and shy kid and sometimes gets pushed around and fem reader is the popular girl but they kind of keep their relationship lowkey but one day fem reader overhears from her friends that JiU was getting bullied cos they saw JiU hanging out with f/reader and basically being mean, so one day fem reader shows up outside JiU’s class to walk her home and kisses JiU in front of the whole student body and basically tells ppl not to bully her gf or else

Writer: Admin Kiwi

A/N: It has been a while since I was in high school, so I’ll admit that I had some trouble remembering what high school is like. Also, I used Jiu’s real name Minji for this scenario. I hope you all enjoy though!

♡ Tip Jar♡

You liked to think that your school was one of the good ones. On of the few where most of the students got along and there wasn’t much bullying. But the reality was that, as a popular student, you just didn’t see things the same as the other kids. Soon after you began dating Minji, you started to realize that not everything was as you seemed.

“I’m used to it,” she’d said, shrugging and giving you an amused smile when you were surprised by the pushing around she received on the daily. “It doesn’t bother me anymore. Did you really not know that bullying was happening every day?”

“No,” you said, frowning. “I mean, I knew it was happening, but I never expected it to be so much....”

“It’s not like they’re beating me up or putting flour in my hair,” she pointed out. “Honestly, it’s mostly just the occasional verbal insult with bumping into me or pushing me away and excluding me. It’s not that bad.”

“It sounds bad!” Your heart hurt as you crossed your arms. You and Minji were a strange couple, you knew: the two of you only knew each other and started dating because she lived in the same neighborhood and the two of you saw each other before and after school every day. Had she lived elsewhere, the two of you would have probably never met. But still, you were surprised to see just how different her world was from hers. “You should let me teach them a lesson.”

“That’ll just make it worse. But thank you for being worried about me.” She smiled and touched your leg affectionately. “I really appreciate it. But just like you’ve become used to being popular, I’ve become used to being the nerd. It’s just how high school works.”

She was right. High school was like that, no matter how much anyone tried to stop it. But the knowledge that she was being treated this way still made your stomach turn. With a sigh, you leaned your head on her shoulder and took her hand. “I don’t like not being able to do anything.”

“I know.”

-

You hardly had any classes with Minji, so you didn’t see her much at school. The two of you would usually meet up outside and walk home together after classes ended, but otherwise, the two of you never interacted, always on different sides of the school at different times. So you had no idea what had been happening until a few of your friends approached you before your last class on a Friday.

“Hey, (Y/N)?” Bora looked serious, which either meant she was about to drop a terrible joke, or that something was going on. Behind her, Handong was biting her lip, and Siyeon was shaking her head, her arms crossed, which told you that something was definitely going on.

“What’s up?”

“Siyeon was just in class with Minji, and-.” Bora was cut off as Siyeon huffed and stepped forward.

“Some kids were making fun of her, saying mean shit. Apparently they saw you with her the other day, so they were telling her that she was too ugly to be around you, and asking how much she paid you to talk to her, or if you just pitied her that much. Then, when she didn’t react, one of them decided to trip her when she got up to answer a question on the board. She fell and got a bloody nose because she hit her face against the desk in front of her.”

You clenched your fist as anger and worry flowed through your veins, making you shake from the intensity. “I-is she okay?” You got out through your clenched teeth, and Siyeon nodded, rubbing her hand over her face.

“Yeah, the teacher let me walk her to the nurse’s office and it wasn’t broken or anything. But she nose have a bruise on her nose, and when class got out, one of the kids had the audacity to tell her that she looked better like that. I would have punched them, but the teacher was there.”

“Did the teacher not do anything about the trip?”

“Minji didn’t tell her that someone tripped her, so the teacher didn’t know, she just told the kids to stop laughing.”

“Of course she didn’t, she’s too nice.” You took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. As much as you wanted to track the kids down and find them, you knew you couldn’t do that. Your status as a popular kid wouldn’t protect you from suspension. However.... There was something you could do and get away with when everyone knew you and your friends. It helped that Sua and Siyeon were known for being intimidating, and Handong, well....

“Want me to hit them?” Handong looked so sweet as she said it but there was malice in her eyes, making you laugh and shake your head.

“Nah. I’m not going to stoop to their level. Yet. But we should show them that we aren’t going to put up with this anymore. I have an idea.”

-

You could hardly sit through class, constantly fiddling with your fingers and looking at the clock. When the bell finally rang, you jumped out of your chair like a bullet, leaving faster than you’d ever left before. The usual people who turned around to try and talk to you watched in shock as you left without so much as a wave, only one thing on your mind.

Thankfully, Minji’s class always got out a little bit later. You arrived at the door to the classroom just as the class ended and everyone started packing up. A few students stood up and startled, surprised to see you standing by the door, your arms crossed and your shoulder pressed against the door frame. Whispers rippled through the class and students turned one by one to look back at you, but your eyes were only on one.

As Minji turned around, you felt the anger build up again. Sure enough, she had a small bruise on her nose. Her eyes, though, were wide, before her shocked expression melted into a soft smile. She picked up her things and walked to the door as the rest of the class watched.

“What are you doing here, (Y/N)?”

“I came to pick you up. That’s more romantic, isn’t it?” You frowned as you brought your hand up, your thumb gently touching the bruise.

“Siyeon told you what happened,” she said, leaning into your touch ever so slightly.

“She did. Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Better now that you’re here.” Her smile didn’t falter and, at her words, you smiled affectionately as well, moving your hand up to tuck her soft, now purple hair behind her ear.

“I wanted to make sure you were okay. Let me take your books.” As you dropped your hands to take her textbooks, you could hear the whispers in the classroom.

“What’s going on?”

“There’s no way they’re dating, right?”

“I mean, they look pretty close right now.”

“How did that happen?”

With a sigh, you put your arm around your girlfriend’s shoulders and smiled slightly when she blushed. “Can I ask you something crazy?”

“Sure,” she said, standing her own against your charming gaze.

“Can I kiss you?”

“To make a point?” She was teasing you, biting at her lip, and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Well, that too, but also because I want to kiss you right now.”

“Go ahead, then.”

It was weird, kissing at school. But you could get used to it. Her lips were just as soft as always, and she tasted like the smoothies the two of you had gotten for lunch. It wasn’t a long kiss, but enough to make a point and give you butterflies, and as you pulled away, you smiled at her.

“By the way, I think you’re way out of my league. I think you’re beautiful.”

She flushed again, pleased by your praise. Even if she said the words didn’t get to her, you wanted to make sure she knew that you loved every part of her. “Oh. Thank you.”

You kissed her forehead, just because she was so cute and it felt right, before you turned to the rest of the class and put on a fake smile. “What, you’ve never seen a couple before? I hope you’re all treating my girlfriend well. She’s part of us now, you know.” The thinly veiled threat made a couple kids clear their throats awkwardly, and you made a mental note of the ones who did. “Have a great weekend, then,” you said in a fake cheerful voice as you took your arm away only to grab Minji’s hand instead and lead her away.

As the two of you walked down the hallway towards her locker, she turned and looked at you. “Thank you for what you did, back there. I don’t know if it’ll make them stop, but I appreciate you sticking up for me.”

“I had to do something,” you said, squeezing her hand and shaking your head. “It made me so mad to hear that you were being treated like that. But even if those kids are stupid enough to risk becoming social outcasts, I doubt they’d want to face off with an angry Siyeon. Or any of the other girls, for that matter.”

“True.” She laughed softly and leaned into your arm. “You know, I could get used to this. I like walking through the halls with you. Even if a lot of people are looking. I like being with you.”

Your heart skipped a beat and you grinned, looking over at your beautiful girlfriend. You really loved her so, so much. “I could get used to this too.”

[backseatsiren]

My First Shift in the New Normal of the Pandemic

Last night, I did a full shift on my ambulance for the first time since the pandemic was in full effect. The last time I went out was early March, when things had just started to get pretty scary - I had a patient then with a bad cough - and we were relieved when we got to the ER and we confirmed she had no fever. We had no special PPE, but also, life was still borderline “normal.” People were still going to restaurants and gyms. I was still training grappling with my teammates. 

Things obviously changed pretty rapidly.

For the last month, I’d been terrified, but also itching to get out there. It’s probably dominated a few therapy sessions (therapy is great, friends, I highly recommend it): my own terror of this virus, and the stories we’re hearing of people - even, occasionally, young and healthy folks - dying. Drowning. It’s an ugly, ugly death, and I was scared. I’m still scared, honestly, but my need to get the fuck back out there was quite a bit stronger.

You see, I do this for selfish as well as selfless reasons. I genuinely want to help people and serve in my community. I want that, and I love that. It means the world to me to have the opportunity to give back a little. But it’s also a vital need that I have personally - I need to work with my hands and do tangible things. 

I love my job. I’m the luckiest chick in the universe as far as I’m concerned - and hell, I just got promoted. I’m an Editor in Chief now, doing what I love!

But I do feel a disconnect on some level, in my very online job. Again, this is not a complaint - I love what I do and actually really love working from home, being here with my pets. I like making my own schedule, especially because, in normal life, I get to train in the evenings.

But I am such a little... woman of action, I guess. I love grappling and competing and getting my hands dirty, getting my body fully and completely activated and immersed in activity. I simply do not feel right, or feel like myself, without... action. Some Adrenalin. I’m not an adrenalin junkie, per se (idk, I’ve never jumped out of a plane or anything like that?), but it’s an important part of my life. It might make me a slight jock or meathead, and I don’t care. I love it and I need it.

Speaking of Need...

Frankly, the EMTs around me, in my city, in my community, have been utterly swamped in this crisis. Have been working their asses off. NYC had over 7,000 911 calls in a single day this month (the usual busy day is in the 5K range I believe). And here I am, sitting on my ass, doing my nice comfortable job. I felt like a massive, massive asshole and basically... a fraud.

I’m not a fucking EMT cosplayer. I don’t put on a uniform to take selfies, I want to go out there and help.

For a bit, it was hard to get a crew together. At first, we didn’t have enough PPE, so we didn’t send crews out. Then we got equipment, but it was hard to pin sown scheduling. This is understandable - we’re an all-volunteer organization, some ppl are underwater in all this, others have medical conditions that would mean exposure could very possibly kill them or put them in extreme risk. Tons of folks were helping in crucial ways - doing training or coordinating, seeking donations of PPE, etc. And some folks were able to go out on a special 911 service. I’m incredibly proud to be a part of this organization, where people are valued for many different types of service.

I, myself, had spent the last couple of weekends doing driver training with a really rad volunteer who couldn’t go out, but she still wanted to do her part to help. Hey, I drove on the Jackie Robinson in an ambulance for the first time last weekend! It was exciting! But eventually things aligned and I had a crew for Tuesday night. I practiced with my N95 mask and reviewed all our new PPE rules. We had a little demo of the new equipment before going out. And here’s the best part: last night, I got to guide my two other crew members through their first-ever 911 call.

That’s right, I had two (excellent), brand new crew members. That means I had to run all aspects of the call, and give instructions in a pretty wild situation. I’m thrilled and proud to say it went really well.

We turned up to a “fever, cough, difficulty breathing” - almost certainly COVID - for an elderly patient. The family were outside, and I told them we’d be right up, we just needed to suit up. So, on went our special tyvek suits, respirators, face shields and gloves. We went up, accompanied by the FDNY crew chief, who stayed outside the room, and had a very sleepy, confused, and sick patient. I let FDNY know we could take this one - and he was super thankful about it (he even said “God bless,” and i know some people don’t like that, but I think it’s very sincere and kind). We got info and prepped our patient. Based on everything going on (which I won’t go into detail on), I made the decision she should be seen by a doctor (one thing I will say - she found a family member dead, from COVID, in her house a few days before. So this family had already been through hell). She was an incredibly sweet person, and I made sure to keep telling her she was doing a really good job as we got her ready and down to the bus. She was a little scared as we carried her down the stairs, but very, very sweet and compliant as we took care of her. I may have sweated my body weight in that suit. But I will say that in a hazmat suit and shield, I felt safe and confident enough to do my job properly. That, honestly, was a godsend, and something I was pretty scared about before going out. This is a hands-on job. We lift and carry our patients, we have to touch people to care for them. This patient went to the bathroom in front of me and was confused and sleepy and feverish, and it was necessary to keep waking her (gently), and reassure her. We got her to the ER and spent a solid twenty minutes on very careful doffing (taking off the gear) and sanitation. I was deliberately slow and careful with this, since doffing is actually the part that supposedly poses the biggest exposure risk if done improperly. We bleached the crap out of our suits and shields and all surfaces, then used our UV light at base to kill everything else on the truck. I did my paperwork. It was a slow night after that. And yeah, we took our time on that call, ensuring everything was done properly and deliberately. One thing I’m really proud of on the call is my patient communication. My driver told me a couple of times that I had really good bedside manner - and I’ve heard that before. I care very deeply for my patients (yes, even the ones that could be considered annoying or troublesome, though this circumstance was far from that). It’s partially because, as a volunteer, I have plenty of time to work and give reassurance and comfort. I’m not on the clock, and I’m not an overworked, underpaid EMT (this job is brutal, EMTs should be paid frankly double what they are).

A medical emergency is terrifying for people - it’s a bad day when they call us. I like to build rapport and trust with my patients (obviously, in a case where we aren’t rushing, and really, even then I do my absolute best to be comforting and reassuring while moving fast). I think we made this person feel cared for, and she and her family seemed very grateful for the extra attention.

On that note, I am proud of myself. And I’m proud that I felt confident directing my brand new crew members. It was a relatively big job for a first call (with new, extensive PPE, lifting and moving our patient downstairs, transport, vitals and assessment in a pretty intense situation), so I feel good about that. My driver and attendant did an amazing job, stayed cool under pressure, and had a great attitude throughout.

Thank you

One thing that was positively wild was the gratitude, not just from the patient’s family, but... the people across the street from our base waving and clapping for us. The people at the grocery store/deli, thanking us and then letting us cut in line (I was so embarrassed and I probably made it worse by thanking them twenty times). People treated me differently in that uniform where... in the past, it’s more like “oh, an EMT” - and I have complex feelings on that.  I don’t want to steal a single ounce of valor here - I’m not out in the shit every day, I do this a few times a month because I love it. Does it feel super, super fucking nice to be thanked for volunteer service? It sure does! But I also don’t want to take away from folks who live in this shit - so I just want to be clear on that. 

I love that I get to do this, and yes, I love being thanked when I do a good job. I’ll admit that right now. But I also want to be aboveboard about it, and not take attention away from folks who are in this constantly. 

Wrapping up, and dealing with fear

I had a few decontamination procedures to do at home once I got back too. Uniform off at the door, into a tied-off bag. Shower right away, lukewarm water before hot water to avoid opening my pores too much at first. Wiping down a few items, even if I didn’t use them in service, just because they were on the bus. Simple stuff.

But I felt great, mainly that I was able to get out there and help, that I was able to manage the situation well with two rookies, and able to feel confident in the PPE and decontamination procedures.

Is it entirely possible that I was still exposed, despite doing everything? Yes, absolutely. I could get sick. I could get sick just from grabbing that snack from the grocery store (of course, I sanitized my hands twice before eating, but still!) But I tried to go into this with my eyes open, both extremely careful with PPE and fully knowing the risks. And knowing how I’d feel if I didn’t go out, given that I’ve been an EMT in this city for close to four years. Knowing that my skills and experience were valuable and needed at this time. That I can actually help, even if it’s just a little. I’d like to go out again soon. I’m actually volunteering with citymeals this week as well, so hopefully I can be a bit helpful there too. Carefully, of course, so as not to risk any exposure either way! (Gloves and masks and six foot rule in place for safety). But I feel proud, I feel good, and fuck, I just feel more like myself. And I can’t wait to go out again soon.

[seraphcna-blog]

hi  <3  i’m  diana,  i’m  nineteen   (   twenty  in  a  week......no  one  talk  2  me   ),   i  use  she/her  pronouns  n  reside  in  the  est  time  zone   !!    quick  facts  abt  me...i’m  a  libra   (   so  yes,  i’m  a  little  dumb   ),   i  am  a  lana  del  rey  and  girl  group  stan  FIRST  and  human  second....and  that  is  all   !!    now  onto  seraphina,  u  can  read  abt  this  baby  below  the  cut.  also  u  should  plot  with  me  because  u  make  me  ~  𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍   ~

(   NEPTUNE, JANG YEEUN, CIS FEMALE, SHE/HER   ) guess what, SERAPHINA WANG has just landed in cannes with their private jet. they are a TWENTY year old socialite, who spends much of their time & money DAY-DREAMING. i think their family is in the BEAUTY INDUSTRY and their net worth is around 2 BILLION USD.    

(    𝑩𝑨𝑪𝑲𝑮𝑹𝑶𝑼𝑵𝑫.   )

seraphina was born on the 4th of march, 1999. she was born in paris, france because her parents were in town for fashion week. creating and leading one of the biggest beauty companies in the world, her mother was expected to attend

her father protested, due to how close she was to her due date, but despite her pregnancy, her mother never really stopped working and continued to work even after seraphina was born

the story behind her parents marriage was not especially romantic. her mother came from old money, and her father was a soccer player, also heir to his parents fortune. it was a match made in heaven--or hell, depending on who you ask

they were quick to marry, but her father actually fell madly in love. her mother enjoyed his devotion, but when it came down to it, she was married to her career and all she really strove for was success

they were married for around 8 long years when her mother got pregnant. of course, it wasn’t planned in the slightest, and she wasn’t too thrilled but her parent’s (sera’s granparent’s) had been pushing for grandchildren for years

her father was happy. he thought a child was the perfect way to get her mother to step down from work for a bit and for them to actually be a happy family

unfortunately for seraphina and her father, that was never the case. her mother put her career before anyone else. she never wanted to get married or have kids in the first place

so, when seraphina was born, she was handed off to a nanny and her mother went straight to work

her father attempted to be there at the start, and he was for a few years, but it became increasingly difficult to be around seraphina who resembled her mother so much. he felt it was a constant reminder of his failed marriage and miserable life

seraphina was left to the nannies again. luckily for her, she was raised by two wonderful women who loved her dearly. they taught her the importance of kindness and let her know it was okay to be sensitive. admittedly, they coddled her a bit too much and it would make her vulnerable in the future

she grew up with both her parental figures mostly absent. her father popped in once in a while, but he had succumbed to alcoholism and was too busy wrapped up in a string of affairs to really care. 

her mother was away on business most of the time, but there were some nights when she’d return from a business trip and pay her daughter a visit. she would tell her stories about her travels, tales of extravagant parties and experimental fashion. seraphina ate it up. she craved for her mother’s attention desperately, so when she received it, she dreamed of the stories she told her for months until she’d see her again and hear new stories

despite her situation, she didn’t feel any resentment toward her parents. in fact, she wanted their love and validation more than anything. but she figured as long as they were happy doing whatever they were doing, she shouldn’t be so selfish in wanting them to spend time with her. besides, all the kids like her experienced the same thing. neglect was just part of the package

she spent all of her free time with her head in a novel or watching obscure cinema. she enjoyed getting lost in the stories, pretending she was part of them. she also became increasingly fascinated with the idea of love, especially as she grew older, though she had no idea what it was supposed to look like. her only examples were the things she saw in movies or read in her favorite books

when it came to schooling, seraphina switched around a lot between new york city, australia and france. it made it difficult to make long term friends, but she liked not being in one place for too long

she had boyfriends and girlfriends here and there, but nothing truly stuck. it was easy for her to fall for someone, but once they got together, she realized maybe she didn’t actually like them all that much

still, she believed in love as strongly as ever and believes one day she’ll find it, the real kind

it was always easy for seraphina to make friends. she was kind to everyone, but being a wang came with certain perks. no one would dare say a bad word about her. how could they?

all she wanted in a friend was someone that was willing to try new things with her. she was a good girl, but she would do or try almost anything for the experience

only in recent years has seraphina started to realized the way the world truly works. after years of hiding it, she found out her father had another child. it wasn’t intentional, but it happened with some woman he had an affair with

the worst part was, he was actually there for that child. it wasn’t hard for him to lead a secret life with another family while seraphina was away at school and her mother off on business

this discovery broke her heart. for the first time in her life, she understood what it was like to have your heart broken. she’s done her best to pick up the pieces and move forward, but it isn’t as simple as she hoped it’d be

she tries to maintain her optimistic outlook, but she finds that some of her beliefs are changing

(    𝑷𝑬𝑹𝑺𝑶𝑵𝑨𝑳𝑰𝑻𝒀.   )

seraphina is a dreamer at heart. you can always find her lost in one of her daydreams. her attention span can be pretty short, only because her mind is constantly lingering on some fantasy

she is a very friendly, a softie u could say. she tries to be friends with everyone, partially because she is a bit of a people pleaser, but obviously not everyone will like u and she has trouble accepting this.

she also tends to be a bit of an optimist, so it’s easy for her to be manipulated or like taken advantage of. she’s a glass half full kind of girl

she is a pisces sun libra moon, so yes, a softie. falls in and out of “love” very quickly but it isn’t actually love most of the time.

she can be pretty naive at times because she was never rly exposed to anything that CRAZY and even when she is she’s just akdjhsjkhd dumb idk so she’s like :O most of the time when anything happens

ok she loves to have fun and make memories and live life. she refuses to waste any of her precious time being bored so she’s always off doing something to keep herself entertained

she loves to try new things and will try ANYTHING once

with her mom being such a prominent leader of the beauty industry, seraphina grew to love all things related to fashion and makeup. she uses both as the ultimate form of self expression and can often be seen in some weird looks (euphoria makeup lolzzz). she doesn’t really have a set aesthetic fashion wise because she dresses however she’s feeling in the moment and her interests are often changing, but her fav color is blue so you’ll catch her in blue a whole lot

she clings desperately to her fantasies despite how easily they can be torn down. she tries to remain in her little bubble and dream world because things are better there, or are they rly? lowkey she’s just running from her true feelings which she’s kinda bottled for years n years whew,,,,

she is a social butterfly she loves to be around people but can get bored easily so she likes when ppl keep things spicy

she is bi bi bi babey !

(    𝑾𝑨𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑫 𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑵𝑬𝑪𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵𝑺.   )

adventure buddy - someone who is down to do some fun shit with her !!! someone who explores with her and tries new things with her 

ex-fling/gf/bf - there could b a few of these !! they could have ended on bad terms or good terms still have lingering feels or sexual tension or something of the sort but we can plot out the details however

unrequited crush -  maybe seraphina has a crush on ur muse. she is constantly falling for people so it would not be unlikely !! OR ur muse could have a crush on her and she’s oblivious to it 

current fling/friends w benefits - someone she is currently seeing/sleeping with. could be no strings attached, or there could b some feelings there. maybe they don’t want to make it anything serious, or maybe they’re ready to take it to the next level. maybe one person is ready to go further, and the other isn’t.

enemies w benefits - imagine the tension !!! they started out not getting along, but ended up hooking up. maybe it was a one time thing, or maybe they can’t stop going back to each other. i think it would b cool if they kept it a secret, they don’t want anyone else to know. this could develop in soooo many ways ! pls i want this it’s so sexy and she doesn’t dislike/not get along w that many people i’d say so it will be so interesting

ex-friends - someone she used to consider a best friend, but they had a falling out for whatever reason n maybe they hate each other now. maybe they want to re-kindle their friendship but don’t know how

sibling-like friendship - someone she sees like a sibling. they’re there for each other and look out for one another, always have each other’s backs. being an only child (minus her new sibling that she does not even know) and not really close to her parents, she would love a friend that she could basically call family !

dynamic duo - basically like her current best friend. this person is prob one of the closest people to her and knows her very well ! they could b a power duo, always looking out for each other

take care - someone who kind of looks after her ?? maybe when she parties a lil too hard and drinks a lil too much, someone who kind of takes care of her n makes sure shes ok ! they would be someone she trusts a lottttt and also seraphina is a lightweight so like,, sis needs the help

confidant - someone who confides in her or someone she confides in, or they confide in each other. they don’t necessarily have to be the closest friends ever, but they get along, trust each other, and maybe they talk more in private

rivals - they don’t like each other for whatever reason. maybe it’s jealousy or their personalities just clash, but for whatever reason they do not get along. maybe they bring out a bad side to seraphina that most ppl dont see

bad influence - seraphina is a mostly good girl, so i’d luvvvvv for a bad influence plot !! she drinks and does drugs here n there but other than that she’s pretty much a good girl so someone fuck her up and change that pls

good influence - someone she can be a good influence on, someone she brings out the best in, maybe someone she rly cares about and wants to look after to make sure they’re ok !!

these are all the plot ideas i can think of for now, but i’ll prob make a plots page later on and add more stuff !

[lovedeluxe92]

okay so i started working at jimmy johns in early febuary of this year. i needed a job rlly bad and money desperately, just something to keep me afloat and to afford food. what i experienced...i was not at all prepared for lmao. i was sexually harassed, verbally harassed, had my hours fucked with, had management and even the owners of the company who could give a fuck less about their employees, had to deal with my fellow coworkers AND managers being on k2 and other drugs, and the final fucking straw which was getting my tip money stolen from me OUT OF THE SAFE BY A MANAGER. i started working as a delivery driver. which was INCREDIBLY stress inducing at first bc i worked at the one right downtown. i had to deal with

i started working as a delivery driver. which was INCREDIBLY stress inducing at first bc i worked at the one right downtown. i had to deal with

traffic, pedestrians NOT LOOKING WHERE THE FUCK THEY WERE GOING DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY PPL I ALMOST KILLED CAUSE /THEY/ DID NOT LOOK, we have ‘parking police’ and i legit got about 15-20 tickets during my time there bc that asshole was out for blood and anytime he saw my car, even if i wasnt parked illegally (oh did i mention we had like 3 parking spots all on the street and all with a 2 hour limit (: ) or hadnt been parked in a spot for the full 2 hours. so there was that. 

see when i first started everything was fine. we had good employees who worked hard and did what they had to do. they were all stoners, but whatever i could care less about that. SO. our assistant manager, he was a mess. racist, homophobic, rude, loud. the worst. we would do dabs out in his car (yeah i know but i worked at a fucking jimmy johns) and he would just say the most questionable shit. i remember this one time he saw my phone background was a pic of me and my bf and was like ‘oh you like black guys? what’s your sex like? i bet it’s really good’ and im not gonna go into too much detail here, bc it upset me and its racist,  but he kept going and said some REALLY creepy shit i was like wtf and told him to never speak to me like that again or i would report him for sexual harassment (side note: one time he thought i did report him for sexual harassment and was like “who are you gonna buy weed from now?” LITERALLY ANYONE YOU PIECE OF SHIT.) he would always be like “DAMN THICK’ whenever i would bend over and do everything. I TOLD MY MANAGER AT THE TIME. she  didn’t do anything. AND the owners of the franchise definitely knew bc like...there’s cameras and they can hear everything we say? but no one did fucking anything. and i needed the money bad so i had to stay. of course i told him off constantly. he was white and always saying the n word. just a piece of fucking shit. 

i think the happiest day of my life was when he FINALLY got fired. my manager had to go to another city for a week and help out that jimmy johns bc i guess ALL the employees and managers did a walk out (yeah this happens at all the jimmy johns owned locally in my area i wish i was kidding) and left his inept ass in charge. it took him 5 mins to make sandwiches (FREAKY FAST hello????) he was just a poor manager. but THEN he started using k2 again. and he was a zombie. there was no point of him even being there bc like he would just go to the back of the store and just stand in front of the freezer door staring for like 10-15 mins at a time.i was a driver and didnt know how to make sandwiches yet and this bitch seriously was just standing there cracked out of his mind on k2 in FRONT of customers (and i will say our customers were SO nice at least) takking phone calls slurring his words. it was embarrassing. i rememeber i had 2 customers who had waited almost a HALF HOUR for ONE sandwich bc i was having a panic attack and losing my fucking mind trying to make their sandwiches while he was in his truck getting high and refusing to come in. one of the customers actually gave me a tip and told me i was doing great and the other one was like ‘im so sorry this is happening to you, that guy is  fucked up’. anyway, he passed out on k2 in his truck one night and got the cops called on him and got banned from the property :) i still saw him from time to time and he looked disgusting & miserable and it made me so happy. 

mostly we just had grown ass employees, fucking 30 year olds, just acting like children. always on drugs. i had one coworker pretend to slap my ass and i called him out and he was like ‘it’s a joke im not apologizing’. people would try to take deliveries from me. AND LET ME JUST SAY, not even to fucking brag even slighly but i was the best worker there my entire time there bc regardless of where im working i am giving my 100% every day and no one else there would. but ppl always tried to step over me and did not respect me. we had one coworker who had 3 felonies and one day like 4-5 cops came to our store to tell us to call the cops the next time he showed up for work (surprise surprise he fled bc they took an hour to get to the store despite the fact we were literally like not even 4 blocks from the police station) and he was always high on k2. forever late. day after day no call no show. he had his friend get hired on who would go down to subway and talk shit about subway in his uniform??? lmao and subway called us one day and was like ‘can yall not?’ he also threatened to burn down the store and then my manager (who was always on a power trip if we’re being honest) purposefully withheld his paycheck to fuck with him, because he was fucking with her, so we dealt with him WAY longer than we should have? 

then this one bitch that became manager, SOMEHOW, we were seriously always that desperate for staff and we hire anyone bc the managers are overworked af and just want to take the load off. anyway, SHE was always high on k2 as well. and she would always overshare rlly traumatic personal things from her life to me and all the customers and its like....girl we dont wanna hear that pls try and get some help. she was not currently being abused, i wanna specify. she was talking about things from her past. i sympathized with her but like im a victim of dv too lmao i dont wanna see your bruises without being asked first. and then i remember one day i left my money bag there (i kept my tips in it and had like $37 in there or something) and this bitch who was making MORE MONEY THAN ME seriously fucking went into the safe (we caught her on camera lmao) and stole that money out of my bag and left a few bills to make it seem less suspicious i guess??? lied about it to my face? then quit bc she ‘wasnt gonna sit there and be accused of something i didnt do’ like ok lmao

then to top it all off at one point my old manager just stopped giving a fuck and the store went to shit and we got complaint after complaint and she started being so rude to all of her staff, including myself (and we were like besties so i was devastated) and she cut my hours when she was submitting our work times for the checks because i would clock in early to help out....LIKE SHE ASKED? and it was just everything i said to her...her response was just the most rude and hateful voice and just....it was so rude. i cried every single day after work. she eventually got replaced and then quit 

but then this new manager, whom i loved, was very depressed and just had a lot wrong with him mentally but he was still very....drama starting and attention seeking. he would talk about suicide nonstop 24/7 and not to be callous but it just made me so uncomfortable and triggered me so much? they did overwork him and i will attest and agree to that and he had a lot on his shoulders but he couldve gone to mcdonalds literally any day and gotten a job with better hours, better pay, and better benefits. i kept telling him over and over to leave bc he had so much managerial experience he couldve been hired anywhere! all resteraunts down here are perpetually hiring, especially for managers! i would know bc i was looking for another job lmao. but he’d text me every night saying things like ‘well lets hope i drink myself to death’ ‘suicide is painless’ etc. and it was just......VERY uncomfortable for me, as someone who has attempted suicide and still struggles with ideation from time to time lmao it was just the most triggering environment ever 

like idk how i lasted that long but i worked my ass off, saved up my money, have a good paying job and im trying my best to forget this entire experience (honestly i did have some good times) but i really dont....think i can lmao 

ON A POSTIVE NOTE: we had some of the kindest and most caring customers ive ever had in my life. i was shocked. but the amount of times i had a shitty customer in my entire time there i can count on one hand lmao like....even when they were shitty they were like ‘im sorry i know yall work hard and everything’ like i miss my customers SO MUCH because we actually had relationships with them and shit and ugh god. if the customers were shitty tho i would never have kept this job lmfao 

i stayed at this job simply bc i made enough money for rent and my bills perfectly and it was one of the few jobs where i was paid an hourly wage + tips. and i wanted my next job to be a job in my field. that’s why i stuck around so long, it took some time to do that.

so yeah theres my mess i love anyone who read this and you can have my first born and be the beneficiary to my life insurance when i die

[crowned-ladybug]

I was gonna just reblog my post from last night with this but then it turned into a half-assed, not really good 1.4k word fic. So imma just drop it under the cut here

(In other words, Rivals AU Marvin has pet names he only ever calls ppl when something is very, very wrong. And here’s an example for that)

Warning for potential character death or how do you say it nicely.

Jackie and Marvin are out on a mission again, trying to track down Anti, that elusive little shit. It’s kinda hard to do when you have some damn dedicated monsters chasing you, too. So they do the stupid thing every horror movie protagonist does - they split up. They need to cover more ground and split the attention of their pursuers. Not having to constantly stay near each other might make them faster, too.

They talk through dollar store walkie-talkies that Marvin had enchanted to be a little bit more than just “barely functional”. They all wish they had a decent tech guy on the team.

Of course splitting up wasn’t a good idea. Marvin takes a wrong turn somehow and runs into a dead end, and he’s cornered. No windows to jump through, no fences to climb. He’d be shot out of the sky the moment he tried to fly. There’s nothing but solid walls and a tight group of monsters closing in on him, and his frozen mind high on adrenaline that might just not let him teleport at all.

But teleporting is his only option, and so teleport he will. Maybe. Possibly. And if it doesn’t work, he might as well make it count for more than just weakly falling into the hands of the enemy.

His gaze never leaves the slowly approaching pack of monsters, clearly sure that they’ve already won, as he raises the walkie-talkie to his mouth and presses down the button on its side. “Hey, Jackie,” he says, and he tries not to think about how, if things don’t go his way, this could be the last time he says that name out loud. “Sup?”

Jackie sounds downright cheery when he responds. Marvin is glad. He loves hearing he’s happy. “I’m all good! No sign of Anti yet, but I think I managed to lose most of these assholes,” he sounds a little out of breath, but otherwise he doesn’t seem to be lying about being okay. Good. “I pushed two into a pool and they just exploded! I think they might not be great fans of swimming.”

There’s an odd tension building inside Marvin. There’s a lump growing in his throat, but he swallows it and talks over it. His hands feel numb. “That’s great, sweetheart.”

Jackie feels like his heart stops then and there. Sweetheart. He recognises that word, it’s like an alarm blaring in his ears. Marvin never calls him “sweetheart” unless something is very, very wrong. And in their current situation...very, very wrong could mean the worst.

“Marv-...”

“I love you.”

The walkie-talkie clatters on the ground, but the noise is drowned out by Jackie’s terrified screams coming through the cheap speaker, distorted and too high-pitched. Marvin is already running towards the monsters cornering him - either a great, heroic act, or his demise. Or both.

He discharges his magic in an explosion of fire and lightning and deadly power, and he desperately grasps for that feeling of being nowhere that means he’s teleporting. That his plan ended with the less unfortunate alternative.

From somehow still only a couple streets away, Jackie hears the crash all too clearly.

Jackie’s legs feel weak as he takes off towards the slowly ascending cloud of smoke that’s left after the explosion. God, please let it be not the only thing left. Please.

Rationally, he knows that an explosion of that magnitude, a discharge of magic with so much power could never leave someone right in the middle of it intact. But his heart hopes. And he’s always been one to listen to his heart.

He stops dead in his tracks when he feels something - the faintest static in the air that he’s learned to pick out from all of his other senses. It means someone has teleported near him. Part of him knows he shouldn’t hope, that his high-strung senses could easily be mistaken or that it might just as well be Anti coming to kill him. But he still hopes.

His knees almost give out as he turns around, searching. And even though he feels like he’s about to pass out and the world around him is blurry seen through his tears, he instantly recognises the figure standing near the end of the roof he’s been running across, clad in the pitiful, singed remains of some fancy outfit, swaying slightly with exhaustion.

His shout of pain and relief only makes it out as a weak sob.

He crashes into Marvin, and poor guy would just fall right over were Jackie not already holding him so tight. He finally starts crying properly, with gross, loud sobs that sound almost like muffled screams, his face pressing into Marvin’s shoulder, not caring that he can barely breathe. He doesn’t have time to care about air right now.

Marvin is shaking. His adrenaline rush has worn off, and the realisation that he almost died is slowly setting in. It’s terrifying. More terrifying than running at a pack of monsters with all his magic at the ready, with the possibility that he might go down with them. Because then he didn’t have time to think, and now he does.

He finally starts crying. It starts with a high whine in the back of his throat, and once it does, it just doesn’t seem to want to end. He would collapse and curl in on himself were it not for Jackie holding him up with ease, and so he just holds onto him like he’s his lifeline. He wants to tell Jackie that he’s sorry for scaring him, he’s so sorry, he wants to swear that he didn’t want to hurt him, that he loves him so much. He’s scared, so scared, he wasn’t as scared as he should have been back there and he’s sure as Hell making up for it now. He just wants to go home.

He extends a bit of what little magic he still has to hang onto Jackie’s vitals – his fast heartbeat, his erratic but slowly calming breathing, a steady stream of input that reads alive. It helps calm him down.

Jackie is the one calm enough to talk first. His painfully tight grip on Marvin loosens to be, well, not as painful. He’s still crying, tiny hiccups shake his shoulders every now and again, and Marvin can feel the wetness of his tears against his neck when Jackie turns his head.

“It’s okay,” his lips brush against the skin of Marvin neck as he talks, and normally Marvin would laugh. Not this time. No matter how soft and sweet his words are, they seem to have the opposite effect than intended, because Marvin’s whining sobs don’t cease and his arms only tighten around him. “We’re okay.”

They really aren’t, though.

But eventually, through Jackie’s steady stream of reassurance and “I love you”s and his fingers tracing infinite patterns into his back, Marvin runs out of tears to cry. He’s left with nothing but a headache, a dull pain in his chest, and seemingly never-ending hiccups. He looks like as much of a mess as he’s feeling – his clothes singed, burns and scratches lining his skin, his hair completely loose and dangling around his face in annoying, messy strands.

And Jackie still looks at him like he’s the greatest treasure in the world, the greatest treasure he’d almost just lost.

“C’mon, we should go home,” he whispers gently, waiting patiently until Marvin lets him leave his embrace on his own. “Anti can wait.”

Marvin nods, feeling numb and strange, but then he shakes his head to another thought. “I’m sorry...”

Those are the first words he’s managed to say since the explosion, and Jackie feels like he might just start crying again. He’s still holding one of Marvin’s hands, and now he raises it to his lips to kiss his knuckles. “I don’t know what happened or why, but I trust you. Whatever made you do what you did, we can talk about it later. You don’t have to apologise,” he takes a step back and gives Marvin’s hand a gentle tug. “Come on. Let’s go home.”

And they do. Shakily and leaning onto each other, tired senses still sharp searching for danger, but stopping every once in a while to hug each other properly or share a few kisses, they do.

[sorikkung]

i asked @softbams to ramble about bambam just bc i love seeing other ppl love bambam as much as i do and now its my turn so here we go,,, warning i get soft easily,, , dont hurt me,,,,

hnggnhkgsnj so like BAMBAM right,,, he’s,,, a DORK there is literally no other word i could use to better describe him and ill have you know i may seem to throw around the word dork online, specifically here on my blog but in actuality i use it extremely sparingly for those people that are so dfjklshjkf dUmb but i love them so much??? like ill only call my closest few friends dorks, i just use it a lot here bc i post about what i love and i love!!! bambam!!!! idk ppl express their love in different ways and “i love you” just seems so overused and meaningless and calling people a dork is just more me and honestly its the most endearing thing i could say about someone ANYWAYS so like why is he a dork??? he’s so wild in like every way my first impression of this kid was literally him spazzing on the floor and dabbing while got6 hyped him on and i was like??? THAT ONE. I WANT TO STAN THAT ONE I- I WANT THE TRASH CHILD thats literally how it went down and as you can clearly see i haven’t changed lanes since,, honestly to me the most attractive trait in any person ever is stupidity, and i dont mean shitty grades i mean like their sense of humour!! someone who isn’t afraid to make fun of themselves and be loud and wild and random and is just a little (or a lot) drunk on life every now and then, its just so,,, refreshing??? maybe its bc im like that and i find it hard to find people who can keep up with me in a sense but honestly with bambam its like im the one trying to keep up with him. it’s just so endearing to watch him screaming and roll on the floor and??? to watch him bambam around the place. he’s just so funny and it always makes me smile like an idiot??? and it seems like its not just me bc!! the rest of got7 seems the same!! his happiness and silliness is honestly so contagious like they call jackson the moodmaker and yeah he is (i LOVE HIM TO PIECeS hes a dork too) but like have you ever realised that like 90% of the time yugyeom is being a crackhead, bambam is like within a leg’s distance away?? and i say leg bc DAMN have you seen bambam’s legs, he prides himself in his legs WITH GOOD REASON TOO and he always has to show them off with those tight ass leather pants like calm down you’re killing me here. but ofc he’ll never calm down the boy has no control and i LIVE FOR IT bc its always unpredictable??? like you get bored of the same thing after a while but bambam is always so new and wild and!! keeps you on your toes!!! hes just so exciting??? and like omg i mentioned yugyeom before hE REALLY LOVES YUGYEOM (me too man, me too,,,) AND!!! ALL OF HIS MEMBERS!! like whenever the situation is tense he’d do something stupid to make them all laugh and the way he talks about his members??? its SO heartwarming to see him love them all so much?? i mean they practically raised the kid, like jackson and mark especially bc foreign line stuck together as trainees as TRAINEES do you hear this shit they have stuck together for YEARS before got7 debuted and they still love each other to death AMERITHAIKONG IS FRIENDSHIP GOALS IM SOBBING I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH like you know they’re soulmates when one gets a laptop thrown at him but he still looks up to him as a hyung alkjhlkgahsdfgs ill never live that down sorry its too funny,,, also like he may be a fucking idiot at times but i dont think enough people take him seriously?? like he has this mature side to him and its so nice to see that even though we all joke that he has no chill, he does actually have it when necessary?? like!! in that recent thai interview and he talked about his mum oh my god he loves his family sO MUCH I AM SOFT literally like he bought his mum who biases jaebum lmfAO a house bc they grew up under a tin roof WHAT AN UPGRADE and he bought his sister a car and like hes so modest about his achievements too like in that one hard carry episode where he and jackson in the back of a taxi at 4am had to take turns boasting and trying not to be modest, he had to brag about his achievements, this episode was so memorable to me bc only one of them was actually about him??? he mentioned that something along the lines of 8,000 fans went to the airport in thailand to greet him but then he mentioned about the concert tickets that sold out but it was GOT7′S concert like he had to mention his group bc they achieved that TOGETHER and like he then said he bought a house for his mum and a car for his sister like he was meant to brag about how much money he had but instead he said the good things he did so generously for his family im??? so soft??? his love for his family is SO SO SO precious (like him) and when he talked in that thai interview i was talking about earlier (i apologise that i keep changing subjects so quickly this entire thing is so messy) he talked about how his mum is the reason for his dreams to be a performer and how he wanted to provide for his family and dAMN HE DID!!! but like omfg hes so passionate about what he does??? its so so so inspiring to see, he went to korea at age FOURTEEN without knowing the language, the culture or really anything bc he went to rain’s concert and was so inspired and learned all his dances and songs and like it kinda reaches out to me bc like??? he started off as nothing but a random international fanboy and LOOK HOW FAR HES COME IT GETS ME SO EMOTIONAL!! and his mum kept on telling him that its ok if he didnt make it, that he could come home if it didnt work out, she’d welcome him with open arms but he kept going!!! bc he loves music!!! and hes so talented!!! and hes just so passionate,,, and so determined too!! such a hard worker!! like i dont think most of you realise just how intensive trainee programs are??? like he was fourteen and training 12 hours a day, he said it was from 10am to 10pm every day, and now he gets even LESS sleep like hes constantly talking about how tired it is like let the poor baby sleep oh my god he deserves rest but apparently thats too much to ask for in the kpop industry,, but no matter how tired he is he always has tons of energy on stage and off stage to make everyone laugh and keep everyone in high spirits and like he’s actually a ray of sunshine, a precious angel, a blessing to this world oml im rambling but thats fine that was the point of this lmfao i just!! MY HEART IS SWELLING FOR HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM!! and everything he does gets me so soft like i literally have an instagram saved collection of his smile that makes me smile and not like his smirk (which is,,, whew,,, REALLY attractice im weak for smirks) but like his full teeth, face wrinkled and eyes scrunched up smiles where he looks so happy and cute and i wanna pinch his cheeks hes just SO CUTE and whenever i see him smile like that i swear 7 years are added to my lifespan and it just MAKES ME SMILE SO MUCH bambam always makes me so happy like i think my parents i convinced i have a boyfriend at the amount of random smiling i do at my phone but like 90% of the time its just bambam,, hes just so aesthetically pleasing like we all know he is the fashion KING, like his style is so stunning but like i think his visuals are highly underrated tbh he had THE most iconic glo-up of all time, i remember during early realgot7 episodes he’d talk about how he wanted to no longer be the cute/aegyo type member and he wanted to be sexy and charismatic and oH bOy iS hE sExY aNd ChArIsMaTiC,,, if only the members that kept telling him he couldnt and that he was adorable would see him now, still just as cute and squishy as before but also a fucKIGNF BEAST????? like i think every time he does that prrah in never ever a part of my soul leaves my body. idk if thats even related. but like WOW HES SO PRETTY EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM IS JUST SO ATTRACTIVE PHYSICALLY like he has rlly pretty eyes, esp w/ contacts they really just make you notice them so much more and his lips?? everyone talks about his lips but NOT ENOUGH like theyre so plump and kissable and honestly i could kiss them all day if hed let me omg is that a bruno mars lyric ANYWAYS if you do era killed us all, dont deny it, even jinyoung noticed his lips i just LOVE BAMBAMS LIPS and like his JAWLINE is so sharp it could cut a bitch it just defines his face so well and his makeup too like bambam’s makeup is always so on point, kudos to the stylist noona like its not that he needs makeup, makeup needs HIM like it compliments him so well  and adds to his,, aura?? idk about you but he owns the stage, like he has this aura to him he has made the stage his bitch, he’s not on the stage he owns it do you HEAR ME???? HE!!! IOWNS!! THE STAGE!! his dancing is so mesmerising?? and his voice??? he has every ahgase wrapped around his long ass legs finger whether you like it or not. and what i was saying about makeup like without makeup he transforms into the cutest, squishiest bean that i just want to PROTECC like his dUaLiTy you can hear that about any kpop idol but still, bambams duality is so crazy, he’s just....so sOFT AND FLUFFY offstage (when he isnt screaming like a maniac, but even then,) his laugh. is so cute, and so contagious i feel like ive said that already but its not any less true and like barefaced bambam just being barefaced and wholesome and cute and????? im??? adjhgjkahkldghalkj,,,, he just,, just him smiling makes my day fUCK ive said that already but as you can see i am whipped asf for his smile i,, and also how hes so bad at aegyo when he needs to do it but he has natural aegyo when hes not?? ??? ? HES SO CONFUSING i love it honestly i love him i just ugghhhhhhh. and hes so talented too!! SUCH AN UNDERRATED DANCER GOSH he has been dancing since he was a really smol bean and HES SO SHARP AND FLUID AT THE SAME TIME like nobody appreciates his dancing as much as they should and that makes me really sad bc its so enthralling to watch him dance, he really puts his all into it you can see it, but nOBODY TALKS ABOUT IT ENOUGH???? WHERE are your fuckign eYES YALL ARE BLIND AND MISSING OUT and his voice oh my lord his voice makes me fEeL thInGs especially when he does that thing when he talks all low and raspy and his accent is attractive too and like i would pay good money just for bambam to just talk to me like that all day like sure he isnt the best rapper in the industry, jyp never really had impressive rappers until stray kids but like he does his job as a performer well and UGH HIS VOICE IM WEAK IN THE KNEES like i die on the inside every time he says baby or honey or smth like that and usually i hate those specific pet names, but have yall seen that video of him saying “goodbye honey! awh, im your honey?” or just him saying honey in whos that or jsut AJAKLKAJKJKGFJ HIS!! VOICE!! and when he says double b i just FEEL his confidence and that aura i was talking about before now i have the habit of yelling out or at least mouthing double b along with him its actually everything??? omg and his meme game like i know i already rambled about how dumb he was but like specifically his meme game and his TWITTER OML like the whole dabbing thing, idk who started it but he made dabbing his bitch like he gave zero shits what other people thought, dAB ON THEM HATERS AMIRITE, and even on that one vlive where he claimed that dab was history he ended up saying he IS the history of dab and then dabbed in the next japan promotions with yugyeom anyways. the dab is not dead. the dab will never die. and his twitter holy fuck did you guys see the whole steven deng fiasco where he agreed to his petition to rename bambam to dabdab bc he couldnt be stopped then he INTRODUCED HIMSELF AS AKA DABDAB ON LIVE TV WHAT AN IDIOT IM SO IN LOVE and like in the video where everyone was saying you dont pick your bias, your bias picks you (bambam didnt “pick” me, he grabbed my hair and yanked me down into hell) he fucking said “i pick you” like hES THE KING OF FANSERVICE FOR A REASON OMG hes always flirting with his fans on twitter and calling them baby or babygirl and like at fansigns and concerts whenever a fan goes on stage with him he just flirts with them so much and calls them his queen, his everything etc, just i cant even begin to list all the times where he flirts with ahgases idk if hes naturally flirty or he just likes to give the fans what they want but BOTH IS GOOD TBH bc flirty ppl are attractive and like if its just for fanservice then that just proves how much he appreciates and cares for his fans like wow he really loves ahgase?? REMEMBER THAT CONCERT WHERE HE TEARED UP AND CALLED AHGASE “THE BEST GIRLFRIENDS EVER” I GOT SO SOFT HES SO GENUINE aKDFJLSJFLgdfklgjalfk and back to how stupid he is like he is also a petty ass bitch like he casually exposes his members a lot i LIVE FOR IT like the whole mark throwing a laptop thing or like other shit i cant remember off the top of my head and hes just so sassy and petty all the time like i love it so much oh my gosh sassy bam is an underrated concept bc savage jinyoung steals all the spotlight rip :(( nothing against jinyoung i love him to bits too but!! sassy!bam is just, my will to live tbh oh also can we talk about how hes literally a model like he made the camera his bitch too not just is his face gorgeous and his makeup stunning and his hair on fleek and his style amazing but like you can feel his aura through the camera too, he just stares with this LOOK its like hes actually looking at you his visuals are SO POWERFUL again not talked about enough bambam in general isnt talked about enoguh outside of being a meme and :((( it makes me sad esp when people still baby him like no hes a grown ass man hes had his glo up like have you seen him??? sure he can be effortlessly cute but also effortlessly sexy like he really is the entire package and oh my fuckign god he LOVES CATS HE REALLY IS THE ULTIMATE PACKAGE like everyone knows about pudding and latte but even before then he loved jb’s cat nora and apparently nora liked bambam more than jb and would wake him up at 9am every day and bambam would play with her for a while then go back to sleep and nora would sneak into his bed and omfg bambam and cats, two of my favourite things wow what a concept?? i just DIED when i saw his insta story updates calling his cats his babies or his sons and its just so precious i want to cry. speaking of social media again can we just appreciate that he runs most of his social media in ENGLISH, not hhe language he usually speaks (korean) or his first language (thai), but ENGLISH, just to accommodate for the international fans, hes going outside of his comfort zone and its so considerate of him and that once again proves how hes the sweetest person ever and loves ahgase so much and i feel so honoured to be an ahgase and i love BAMBAM, kunpimook bhuwakul, dabdab, double b, lil’ shit whatever you wanna call him, so much, and this got way too fucking long and random and the subjects changed too much lmao its rlly messy but like its a ramble so there you go i like bambam im out

[mywaywardcupcake]

is this a meme?? why must you... like Jounouchi so much? (... *whispers* i just wanna hear ppl talk about how terri-wonderful my fave is srry thx)

You have come to the right place, my friend. (Psssst thats me, swinging in to provide all Jounouchi loving needs)

Now, where do I start with Jounouchi and how he is just the greatest. 

(Everything is going to be under a cut, because apparently I can’t just give a brief summary of all the ways I love Jounouchi. Actually this is a brief summary, it could’ve been longer. I have problems, it’s ok.)

First things first, lets talk about how this boy never gives up, shall we?

Ok, lets talk about the Marik vs Jounouchi duel, since it is the one that is freshest on my mind. First off, lets talk about the first image. Atem/Yugi (whatever) is talking about Jounouchi and his road through battle city and his path to become a “True Duelist.” And I just want to talk about how friggin true all this is. While we have been shown the “duelist pride” of Atem, Kaiba, and even Mai, I think it should be pointed out how much Jounouchi really encompasses the other two that are stated. He has so much spirit. This boy is a damn fighter. He gets excited, he actually true LOVES dueling! He has so much passion and spirit that just shows through his dueling, its beautiful. Also, his strength! This boy can take a hit (metaphorically and actually physically) and just keep going. He will NOT stay down. If he has someone or something worth fighting, nothing will keep him out. I mean this fantastic boy made it to the semi-finals as the only duelist who was not wielding a God card!! This leads into  the other two pictures. 

The next one is him being in a really horrible situation. He is surrounded by Lava, every single on of his monsters has a torture device on it that he can feel, he’s trapped in a cage, things are just not looking up for him. His friends are trying so damn hard to stay encouraging, but even they aren’t sure there is a way out. Anyone would lose faith in winning, you can’t blame them. Especially if they had been getting consistently tortured throughout the entire thing. But this boy, this friggin fantastic boy, just thinks “I made a promise to Yugi” and doesn’t give up! He puts all of his faith into his cards and what he knows he can do! His stubbornness and will power is just so damn amazing. Now, to the last picture.

Jounouchi has just been attacked by the Winged Dragon Ra! He should be dead. There should be nothing left of him. But here he is, standing (he’s on his knees but I’m counting this as standing) and ready for his turn. Everyone is so shocked and happy! Atem calls Jounouchi a Hero. Kaiba is so damn shocked, he says “Did he beat God?” The best part of all of this though is Dark Marik’s reaction. He is straight up scared. This boy, who has no connection to Ancient Egypt, who doesn’t own a millennium item, or a Egyptian God card. This amazing, amazing boy had more willpower, more strength than God. He wasn’t going to die, not here. Not while Mai and Yugi were counting on him. I know in one page he does actually die (#stillnotoverit) but even then, he has the defiance and willpower to bring himself back. This boy will not give up!

Man, this right here is the #1 reason Jounouchi friggin Katsuya is my favorite character out of every single show, book, movie, etc that I have ever gotten into. I remember when I was a kid and just loving this character because he was so damn excited about things. He had so much determination. He had so many, many things that could bring him down, but he didn’t let it get to him. He always stood back up, ready to fight. I think its great to see a character that will fight against all odds, not always win, but never let that keep him down. Maybe its not realistic, but damn if that isn’t the type of thing you need to see every now and again. As a kid (and even now as a full fledged adult) I love seeing this, this not being the best at something, but seeing a character work their ass off to get better. To actually see that improvement, as opposed to Kaiba and Atem, who are just great from the start. I just aaaaaahh, I just love it. 

Now lets dive into why he is the best because Holy Hell does he love and care for his friends!!

(Warning, theres a ton of examples because of course I couldn’t just choose one or two!!)

Ok, first off. Apologies for the fact that I obviously couldn’t just choose two examples, and also the fact that I couldn’t choose smaller images. This is going to be so friggin long. 

This fantastic boy just really, really cares about his friends (note the examples of aggressively caring about what’s going on with Yugi). He was willing to be expelled from school for Honda (Yugi was too, I should probably note that). He was willing to take a hit from Ra because he could not stand there and watch Mai get killed. He was not going to let that happen. Even though he’s known as a rumor spreader at the school, there was no way in hell he would jeopardize Anzu’s chances of becoming a dancer. This boy uses himself as bait to help his friends escape zombie Professor. Then, after almost falling to his death, Jounouchi climbs up and uses himself as a balance to save Anzu, without question. He still has the zombie professor after him. He doesn’t even consider first trying to get himself to safety. This boy sees his friends and danger and there is absolutely nothing else on his mind. Though, I can totally see this as an issue because this boy seems to think very little of self preservation, but thats a whole different essay to write.

Jounouchi loves his friends, he would literally die for them. You mess with any of them and you’re looking for a beating. Jounouchi can’t bare to see anyone in pain or feeling down on themselves. Hell, he’s helped complete strangers before because he doesn’t want to see them upset or hurt. This way of thinking has kicked him in the butt a few times, but what I love is that he doesn’t let this change this about himself. Yes, he’s trusted people he shouldn’t have (the duel disk kid), he’s gotten severely injured because some did something to someone he cares about (for example, getting electrocuted almost to death because some dick punched Yugi in the face and he wouldn’t stand for that). Does he ever change this about himself though? No, because he truly believes in people and also in his friends. He knows his friends will always have his back, they have helped him in so many ways (getting out of a gang, loving himself, etc) that he is going to return that love ten fold. Honestly, when I think of Jounouchi I think of a very specific quote.

“There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people in halves. It is not my nature” - Jane Austen.

Now onward to other reasons to love Jounouchi!!!! (before I get stuck on this specific one)

Reason 800,000 on why I love Jounouchi. This boy has a past and has done bad things.

Wait what? Is this a reason to love someone? Yes, yes it is. For me anyway. The reason I love this part of him is because, just look at the series. Look at how much he has moved past the truly bad parts of him but, also in a way embraced them. 

Jounouchi was in a gang. This is one of the things that the anime leaves out, but its such an important part of him I think. Jounouchi was in a friggin gang. He can easily break into places. He used to fight all of the time, and was so good at it that people were actually scared of him. He had a record, he was almost sent to juvie. This boy wasn’t a sweetheart. He wasn’t a “good guy.” He’s made mistakes, most of which we never even hear about. He did not like himself or the things he has done.

But then you see this boy just owning that shit. Yeah he used to fight in gangs, but look at him using this and turning his passion into something good. He helps others out. He defends anyone that needs help. He uses this anger he feels on the inside and puts it into his dueling abilities. He will not be kept down because of his past. Its there, its bloody, its dark, but its his. It is his past and he’s ok with it. He’s accepted the things he can’t change and used them as a way to build his own future. 

Also, I feel like showing this part of him really puts him into a more real light. It shows how nobody is perfect and that’s ok. People due bad things, its sad, it can be ugly, but this is a part of life and growing up. Sometimes you can’t always get away from your choices in life, you just have to learn to live with them and try to find a way to grow from them. I feel like Jounouchi does just that. 

Final Reason(s) (Though not the last reason but this is getting long) I love this boy because he is funny, a great big brother, perverted, and terrified of the supernatural.

Ok so the final reason is actually four reasons that could’ve been entire paragraphs on their own. I’m also going to try really hard not to include pictures because you know, lets try to stay simple on this ask shall we? (ha!!!)

So ok, we all know this boy is one of the funniest characters in the series. Anime Dub Joey has the best jokes (Honestly I think he’s up their with Kaiba with the best sass in the dub.) He makes me laugh so much. 

He’s an amazing big brother. He worked his ass off to get that prize money for his sister’s surgery. He constantly worked to make sure he was someone that his sister could look up to and admire. He would do anything for his sister. I could go one, but again, this is getting ridiculously long.

He’s perverted. I honestly have a specific moment I’m thinking of but couldn’t find the example. Long story short, its the one where when Yugi says that he was busy last night, Jounouchi automatically takes it the wrong way. This is why I love him because he has a dirty mind and it stems back to him being hilarious (plus I have a dirty mind, I always take things the wrong way so I can relate).

This boy is absolutely terrified of the supernatural. He has played shadow games. He has been almost killed more times than I can count. He has been trapped with a serial killer. He is a gangster. But, show him anything to do with ghosts or the occult and he will started screaming (and has passed out at least twice because of these things). Give him knife fights any day. I think the best part of this is, one of his best friends is a ghost. Again, these last few things are just little things that makes him great and honestly relatable.

Well, theres that! This is just a small portion of my unyielding love for Jounouchi Katsuya. I could honestly write more. I could write entire papers on the greatness of him being scared of the supernatural, what the best parts of him being funny, his amazing love for his friends and sister. But, I think this has gone on long enough. I just really love this character. I think he’s relatable, he’s good, he brings the show/manga to life and i just aaaaagghhh I just really love him, ok?!?!