#Like 250 Chapters in the making

[captainkurosolaire]

Perish.

Dark, null, coldness… Familiarity set, was this his beyond?   …Nay, it felt like the ocean's depths.   Communion from an unseen fathom called out to his submersion. Do you know how a soul becomes fragmented?       When it gives away, pieces of themselves carelessly. You have wronged six, My Captain.           Not counting the surface who needs you Whole. Boy of Dream             Beast left Tameless,                                            Grim Shadow’s without Guiding Light                                                             Savage devoid Solace,                                                                            Power left Satisfied                                                                               …And a door left turn. Six wronged, heinously left in absence. Judgment demands, you navigate these lost fragments into reunion, Stands you’ve conjured this colorless realm, by such turmoil, everything becomes unclear. Water left unnatural.       Skies upside down.               Loved memories, all scattered. Chaos to disarray is your trade, Being overly lawless can lead to Insanity. "You are not Alone."                    "I am Perish." "I’ve accompanied you awhile now, meeting the same ordeals.           "Anguished, I hurt."               "Your emotions serve my own." The Seeker paused, gasping and shaking trying to absorb his rational sense. “Ye b’ my spirit-guide that butterfly? …Why do you still elude me?”  Silence befell a spell. Feminine mystical chimed, “I do not. You’ve made yourself blind, sinking into obscurity. As I said, you’ve forged this terrible gray. Abandon everything and Search. When you merely question, it forms a maze tormented for misery.”

Wretched and troublesome the sailor split calmed his astral essence, a flashing memory of recent transpired, Judas preaching a helpful suggestion before fallout, <“If you took a second and THOUGHT instead of allowing your emotions to think for you. That is your worst design, always has been.”> Baffled by his guiding truth, unconventionally these were a wind. Phenomenon the butterfly essence further elaborated, “You’re beginning to understand and as so, you can now perceive what’s real.” Golden eyes pried open to see a fellowmen. “...You’re me…” With a peer to a ravine reflection, “I am you. A singular part. Five others reside amongst us.” Overwhelmed by devastating sorrow, Captain dropped to repenting knees onto a solid-layer within the water’s depths of phantom nonsense. Tears scattering themselves how the guilty, feel, “How did I fuck up this bad?! I thought, I really got rid of my doubts and quelled them last time, I saw that Undesirable side of me… That inferior side, ‘Un’, I was drawn t’ lash against!” He felt unbridled internal pain within himself that she had suffered. Entire senses were becoming aware of this formless realm. She swam up with stride, before kicking him in his unbecoming sorrow, sending him reeling back from tremendous power. “Enough! You cannot allow pity here! Man yourself together! You’ve answered without realizing. You struck against a side you believed, lesser? However, by doing so you forced a new side of that to be created. An endless cycle, when you defeat a dementor of doubt, another will arise in replacement even more foul. THIS is uncontrollable, you’re attempting to alter nature, beyond yourself. You have taken in a dangerous soul-crystal thought lost out of necessity to survive, but that magick inside yourself warps the fabric of existence, in your situation it’s been internalized, whatever perceives, BECOMES. This is not like ordinary dreams or nightmares, it will follow you even outside and continuously haunt you with misfortune… Noble told you once, that Order is necessary for Reality.” Captain’s memory instantly rushed, Shiro’s own imparted intelligible insight, these former connections… Resurfacing in a place known for suppression, repression, drowning. “...Then.” Preventing himself from an actual quizzical tone, adapting to his environment. “I have t’ acquire balance to manage this place.” Finding words previously that were obviously ominous, now became trivial.

“Correct, now you’re turning on! You cannot shape anymore, you’ve given all your power, dream, alongside importance's anchored to burial, even from your own. Though, you may recuperate and establish color again, Free yourself to mend like you were on the path to doing-before this Tumultuous Year Began, you made a crucial error by removing trust for yourself for any moment at-all, you gave a specter here that dominion. — Lies are scary, you’ve committed so easily. Before they were uttered, you had to register them here in this dangerous place... Telling worried loved ones, you’d stay, yet, improperly forgetting those branding pain and selfishly abandoning proper mistakes, you instead acted overly callous. For a sinner, this place is deserving, befitting perhaps. Although what’s only clipped, can fly again. – As you heard by the loud Hellsguard with his trembling sorrow.” Continuing to try educating how this wondrous place functioned, psyche incomprehensible to measure. “...Aye, right. Gark said, I deserved to be alone, wait no, Perish…’” Upon that exchange, her namesake was given dawn. Anything said from outside that weighed against his compassion, drew haunting creation from this inner reside. A foolish hardass lacking control. The Hellsguard seemed overly enraged but why does one get that way at-all? When a soul is mourning! It confesses itself almost spontaneously. There was no mistake, Gark felt strongly moved. And Captain never explained himself beforehand why he was disbanding, not everyone was like Zieton who can just magically perceive his intent… Damn it. Some, Captain… “Perish, please navigate me. I want to… No, us t’ b’ complete, I WANT TO HEAL!” A powerful declaration brought a shake throughout the mystique stratum.   Breaking a coy smile, “My pleasure is yours... Your first-fragment to recover is the Boy who became Dreamless, as the Child grew older and began suffering countless loss, or time-ushered passed, he began distancing himself from his initial ambition which left him within a fog. Find and locate this answer..” She looked above. “Our time must be cut short, your advisory on the plane is approaching. I will distract him momentarily! Wake up, utmost haste the serum on your last desperation, should be taking effect otherwise, we wouldn’t be here. Our next encounter will occur after you speak to your Father, about who your Mother really was and only then, will you figure out how to walk here again.” She dissipated into the spiritual realm as bubbles formed, and popped on his visage in departure. Remembrance came.

♫Butterfly♫ - Reference - Last Chapter

[thickenmyblood]

hi maca :) do u already know when you can post chapter 20? im so sad about hiuh ending but also so excited for some happiness :( also, will it really only be 20 chapters or will you add one or two more? in any case, thanks so much for all the time and effort you put into this! I loved every second I spent reading this fic <3

hello!!! well, i was supposed to post ch20 on feb 1st . . . but that obviously did not happen. this month is the month though!!!! I'll try to make it happen before march.

about the chapter: yes, it's the last chapter ever. there will be no more. ever. honestly, I don't think you'll want another chapter after this considering the rough draft I'm working with is 250 PAGES

[ratherhavehopewithyou]

A new addition to the “just finished reading the latest akayona chapter” mood board

[purble-gaymer]

actually having everything i write in one big monster document is great because i can see my improvement so clearly as i go through it

[lit-in-thy-heart]

two hundred pages of slow action was worth it for this chapter

[blkkizzat]

❛ MY SHORTY ALWAYS ON SOME BULLSHIT LIKE CHICAGO ❜

part of the 420 'We Be Burnin' dispensary series

⋙ MENU ITEM: PLUG!CHOSO x SORORITYBRAT!READER ⋙ PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 (completed)

⋙ product description (summary): you can't stop fucking your drug dealer with the big dick but you can't let your reputation be ruined by actually dating him—he'll just have to deal with it—or is it that he will end up dealing with you? ⋙ side effects (tw): cunnilingus, car sex, backshots, riding, dick sucking, sex for drugs, slut reader, reader being a huge bitch lmfao. slightly black girl coded but no descriptors. this is just p1 tw, p2 will have its own lol. ⋙ thc levels (wc): 3.9k of 22.1k ⋙ inventory notes (a/n): best viewed in dark mode. had to split it up into two parts because i wanted to post on time for 420. barely made it lol!

Plug!Choso who you walked all the way across campus to meet, nervously waiting in the almost always empty parking garage underground level. You don’t even really smoke weed but sorority elections are coming up soon and if you can be the “cool one” to get everyone lit on 420 (as your last plug recently got busted) you could secure a lot more votes. Sure, you were going to an extreme length to win but the last 4 generations of your family have been president of this chapter at your university. You didn't think your mother would even let you back in the house this summer if you didn’t win. So reluctantly, here you are. 

Plug!Choso who when he finally pulls up intimidates you with his looks when he rolls down his window as he’s all dark hair, piercings and tattoos. You want to just do the transaction through the window but he tells you to “get in”. You were a new customer and he had to vet you first to make sure you “weren’t 12.”

Plug!Choso who laughs in your face when you angrily slam the door taking offense and yelling at him if he ‘that regardless of your baby face he was fucking blind if he really thought you looked like a 12 year old.’ You turn up your nose at him but quickly are made to feel like an idiot when he clarifies he meant 12 as in the cops. You blush even harder when he says ‘he’d never mistake anyone with tits like yours for being that young.’

Plug!Choso who you only end up hooking up with because your sorority sisters short changed you. How the hell were you supposed to know an ounce was $250!? You ask if he could let you have a deal at $150 as that's what your old dealer Mahito sold it for before he got busted.

“S’cause his shit was weak, princess. Shouldn’ve even been payin’ that much to be real with you. This is that dank shit and if you want it you gotta pay. I ain’t running a charity.”

You ask if you can pay via venmo, cash app, anything but Choso only takes cash.

Panicking as you did not have $100 extra bucks in cash it’s you who suggests if you could you pay it off in a different way. 

Plug!Choso isn’t one to get sexual favors for weed as he had bills to pay and a baby brother to take care of, but your cute prissy ass reminds him so much of girls from his high school. The ones who’d only ever looked at him back then with disdain. Who came from stable families, were spoiled rotten and thought anyone who didn’t live their perfect cookie cutter life was trash. Choso wasn’t a virgin but he’d lived a damn near celibate life for the last few years, he could use a little stress release from a lil’ snobby thing like you.

Plug!Choso who you only agreed to give a handjob to and you unbuckled the belt on his tattered black jeans as he sits back and lights a joint. You roll your eyes and steel your nerves with a breath as you pull down his boxers. However the sight of his freed cock immediately has your inner slut going crazy. 

How is it that you can’t fit your pink manicured nails completely around his thick shaft?  

Why did his dick have to be so pretty fully erect, red tip throbbing as he pusles in your hand when you tease his frenulum with the pad of your finger? 

And just what's gotten into you now? It's shameful how you're rubbing your thighs together just from seeing him throw his head back while biting his lip to keep from whimpering. You have his sculpted hard abs trembling from you flicking over the bent barbell of his prince albert piercing. 

The silver reflected even in the dim garage lighting as his thick pre collected in drops on the ball of the piercing before dribbling down your hand. You unconsciously wet your lips. You know you only said a hand job but you wanted a taste—badly.

It isn’t long before you are giving into your cravings and talking him fully into your mouth needing a taste of him and forcibly gagging around his girth curious to see how much his cock could have you choking. 

Plug!Choso’s eyes flew open and he almost dropped his joint once he felt the hot n’ slick wetness of your velvety tongue slurping up the pre leaking off his piercing and taking him fully into your throat until he was hitting tonsils. 

Yet it’s because you are the massive slut that you are, it’s an even shorter amount of time before you pop him out of your mouth, lift your skirt and slide your panties to the side in order to bounce on him raw in the driver's seat. He makes you cum so hard your squirt splashes to drench his pants and even hits his dashboard and steering wheel. He reluctantly has to lift you off him at the last minute so he doesn’t come inside, further soiling you and his car. Choso doesn’t mind though as seeing you getting that messy for him made him hard all over again— and he pulls you into the backseat for round 2 which consists of you face-down ass-up getting the backshots of your fucking life.

Plug!Choso who you quickly start secretly hooking up with on the regular. Seeing as everyone loves how hard his shit hits they send you more frequently to pick it up. You pretend like it's a minor inconvenience but your stomach clinches in anticipation thinking of his fat cock inside of you. Of course, you aren’t disclosing to your sorority sisters how his dick hits even harder than his than his weed. You shiver just thinking of it carving through your guts ruthlessly every time you fuck. 

Plug!Choso who you are now secretly texting ‘cowboy’ and ‘eggplant’ emoji whenever you want your doonies beat down— regardless if you are getting weed from him or not that day. However when you are sent to get weed from him, he isn’t even charging you any longer. He tells you to keep it and get a new full set. You always manage to fuck up your acrylics bad when you are with him. Not your fault he fucks you so good you are desperate in the moment to cling to him, the handles, the dashboard— whatever you could get your hands on to grip to keep from loosing your mind as you always end up fucked absolutely dumb. 

Plug!Choso who you end up low-key dating but you are still a huge bitch to him in public. Acting like you don't know who he is when you see him. Tsk, you were just begging for him this morning to meet you in the ‘usual spot’ in the near abandoned campus garage lot so he could fuck you. You treated him like he was dirt beneath your shoe whenever you’d see him even though you’d be crying on his cock beneath him just a few hours prior. Choso thinks it’s disrespectful and annoying as fuck but he just deals with it. It's not like he's caught feelings or anything yet.

Plug!Choso who puts up with your shitty attitude and being your dirty little secret as you are the best— and only pussy— he’s had in a while. Not to mention you are always super sweet to his brother Yuji, who adores you. Choso didn’t intend to ever have you meet him but he ended up having Yuji with him one day. He had to pick him up out of the blue as an emergency near the same time he was supposed to pick you up from the nail salon. 

Although you had even got a fresh wax at the salon and were ready to show it off, finding Yuji, all of 7 years old, in the backseat was an immediate buzz kill. Initially expecting Choso to tell you that’s his kid, a pang of guilt ran through you when he explained his little brother who he takes care of got sick at school and needed to be picked up right away. You weren’t answering his calls or texts and he didn’t want to leave you hanging without a ride. 

You don’t tell Choso you’ve silenced notifications from him (in case one of your sisters were to see his name popup). Instead, you offer to cook Yuji soup when you learn it's only Choso solely taking care of Yuji. Especially after Choso confesses he was just going to pick up a can of chicken noodle and some crackers from the store. 

Heart fluttering at how gentle you are with Yuji in contrast to your usual demanding and bitchy nature, Choso curses at himself that he might be falling in love with you. Although he is well aware his feelings would never be reciprocated by you. Nevertheless, as a ‘thank you’ for dinner, after putting Yuji to bed Choso eats you out for 2-hours straight on the sofa. You end up having to stuff your soggy panties in your mouth to keep your cries in and not wake up Yuji. The way Choso is sloppily munching on your pussy has you cumming deliciously back to back to back on his thick pliable tongue. 

Plug!Choso who after you end up fucking more at his house, a mile or so away from campus, rather than his car these days. In fact, it isn’t even all about sex anymore as you spend the majority of your time over there helping Yuji with his homework, baking cookies, playing games and movie nights with the two of them. 

Once Yuji would go to bed Choso would bring you to the basement to smoke you out before he fucked you out. It’s during one of these smoke sessions though you learn that Choso actually got a full ride scholarship to go to the same university you do now 5 years ago but one quarter into his first year his parents had both died in a tragic accident. Yuji was only 2 then and the thought of losing the only family he had left to foster care was not an option for Choso. When the time came he stepped up to the plate and didn’t think twice about dropping out. 

However fast food jobs and grocery store shifts weren’t cutting it. He’d have to spend nearly all day and night away from Yuji just to keep a roof over his head to afford his late-parent’s mortgage. Dealing, although dangerous, was the best option and being the actual genius Choso was, he was smart about it. More guilt fills you always assumed anyone slanging drugs on the street was a burnout who couldn’t cut the real responsibilities of life. Yet Choso already had way more responsibility than anyone his age should have had.

You had sorely misjudged him.

Plug!Choso who realizes sooner than you do the closer the two of you become the harder it is for you to juggle Sorority life and Choso and Yuji— it’s almost as if you are living a double life. Truthfully you are, in a way as you are always sneaking off. Choso wonders what lies you tell your sorority sisters to be gone most weeknight evenings and weekend mornings. The lies of ‘labs' or ‘volunteer work’ wouldn’t likely cut it much longer. When you’re not around, Choso reasons he should probably cut things off with you before the inevitable fall out happens. But he always reconsiders when Yuji kept consistently inquiring as to where his ‘pretty lady girlfriend is’.  

Choso doesn’t have the heart to tell Yuji you aren’t his girlfriend yet. 

Plug!Choso who starts inviting you to Yuji’s little league games on weekends once Yuji expresses with abundant enthusiasm he wants you to see him play! The little guy, who is not so little for his age, is actually pretty athletic. Adorably every home run he hits he always makes sure to wave to you and Choso in the stands. Grinning widely Yuji blushes at your praise and cheering for him, which makes you just want to cheer harder. Your high school cheerleading experience finally coming in handy again. You go so often that sometimes other parents mistake the two of you for Yuji’s mom and dad. You always hastily respond “I’m just a family friend!”

A family friend. Not Choso's girlfriend. 

Plug!Choso whose jaw clenches whenever this happens— not that you ever notice. What the fuck were you doing if you weren’t dating? Yet Choso knew he couldn’t be completely mad at you as even after 3 months he still hadn’t technically asked you to be his girlfriend. Still that fact angers Choso too as he knows he hasn’t because he fears— no he knows— you wouldn’t say yes. Choso picks you up and drops you off blocks away from campus. You also managed to deflect every suggestion for going out on an actual date night on the town when Yuji is over his friend's Megumi or Nobara houses. Also you sure as shit don’t invite him to the many greek life parties you attend (not that he even wanted to go— I mean he would for you. If you'd ask him). Hell, you don’t even follow him back on IG and he knows better than to like or comment on anything other than your stories which goes straight to your DMs. 

Plug!Choso knows you have a reputation to protect and how it would look for the tall n’ scary pierced n' tatted emo drug dealer to be the one by your side. Choso eventually resigns himself to live in the shadows of your life for now. Choso would just have to work harder to pay off the house so he could stop dealing and be someone you’d want to show off (even if deep down he feels he will never be good enough).

However this all comes to a boil a few weeks later the morning of the championship game for Yuji’s little league. As their star player Yuji was so excited to be in his first championship and made you pinky promise you would come. 

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world, kiddo!” You lovingly beamed at him. 

But you lied.

You did miss it. 

Finals and the sorority election week had come up fast out of nowhere and hit you like a whirlwind. As a result you saw little of Choso and Yuji in the days leading up to it. Yet at the end of the week you emerged victorious, both in keeping up your 3.8 GPA and winning the election for sorority president. You were so ecstatic on both accounts that you partied hard the night before Yuji’s big game.

Coincidentally forgetting about it entirely as the next morning was the Annual Greek Council Brunch event to officially inaugurate all new Greek council members across all sororities and frats. As newly elected president and since your sorority was hosting this year it was your job to throw it. It was a huge event that even parents and chapter alumni attended. 

Plug!Choso who smoked 3 cigarettes as he waited for you for nearly 40 minutes before he knew he had to leave soon or he’d miss the start of the game too. Deciding to drive by your sorority as a last ditch effort Choso sees red when he spies you on the lawn giggling and flirting with the campus caterers as you direct them to the back of the house. You looked gorgeous, all dolled up, hair done and make-up flawless. The dress you wear looks expensive, something he might even be able to afford to buy you if he wasn’t making triple mortgage payments each month to cut the interest and pay off his home faster. However, he can't deny the baby blue checkered fabric looks great on you. A fact Choso notices the caterer douchebags didn’t miss either as they fall a few steps behind you to check out your plump ass and rib at each other.

Plug!Choso who knows the reasonable thing to do would be to just drive away and avoid any conflict. Although before his mind registers it his body is already flicking his cigarette butt out of the open car door before slamming it shut as he storms across the lawn of your sorority house. Reaching the back of the house Choso was taken back by how grand everything looked. A sea of pristine white tables adorned with arrays of bouquets, fine china and crystal glasses that sparkled divinely in the morning sun. The event was still in setup mode so more flowers, decorations and adornments were being brought in by the second by workers brushing past Choso like he wasn't even there.

In any other scenario a grand display of refinery such as this would have Choso feeling self-conscious and out of place. He is aware as good as anyone else how sorely his dark looks contrast with the peppy and airy vibes of greek life.

However, all that flees out of his mind as soon as he sees you near the DJ booth—now having the nerve to shamelessly flirt with him too. 

“Yo, princess.”

Plug!Choso who seems casual from his tone but the look on his face is anything but. You on the other hand looked as if you had seen a ghost as all the color drains from your face. 

“Choso!”

You squeaked out a greeting as your head whips around to see who all was around.

Phew! Thankfully it was mostly staff and the greek members who were helping with setup were still inside.

But what the fuck was Choso even doing here?

You started to get pissed as he knew better than to roll up on you like this and today of all days!? 

“Come on, let’s go, we're gonna be late.”

He grabs your arm which you quickly snatch back from him giving him an incredulous look as if he just sprouted two more heads.

“What the fuck Choso, you can’t just barge in here like this! Have you lost your mind?! What are you even doing here?!” 

You try to keep your voice hushed as you pull him to the side of the DJ booth trying not to draw attention. 

“Nah princess, the question is what the fuck are you doing here?”

Irritation was dripping from Choso’s words who clearly didn’t give a single fuck about how loud he was being or the boundaries you’d set around your school life and it made your blood boil. He knew this was a busy week for you and you wouldn’t be around as much, he couldn’t wait a few more days!?

What right did he have to be here right now?

Let alone be this upset with you? 

You roll your eyes as you scoff. 

“Well as I am the newly elected president of this sorority it's my job to throw this brunch! I’ve had a really long stressful week and this is a really big event for me. My first event even! I have so much–”

“—Fuck! Are you really this clueless?!”

Choso angrily snaps at you and you are visibly startled into silence as his interruption immediately shuts you up.

He’s towering over you now and you’ve never realized before just how much bigger than you he was. His personality was usually so chill and unassuming that it shrunk his overall presence.

Come to think of it you’ve never even seen him angry before, annoyed sure, but he was clearly mad mad now.

“I– Me– My— Goddamn it, do you really think of no one but yourself?!”

The DJ, who had been overhearing your conversation tries to butt-in to white knight for you but is quickly told off by Choso who tells him ‘walk the fuck on while he still had legs that could walk’. The advice which was expeditiously taken as the DJ quickly left the conversation just as fast as he’d entered it.

“Choso– what the—”

Choso doesn’t let you finish, cutting you off again.

Fed up with this, you and whatever twisted situationship you currently had— he needed to say his piece. 

“—I’ve been waiting for you for almost an hour, princess. Does your self absorbed lil’ brain even remember why?”

Your own anger is quickly dissipating into confusion as you cannot fathom what in the hell Choso was even talking about. It takes you a few good moments but your eyes widen once you realize.

Oh shit…

“Umm…Y-Yuji’s big game, isn’t today– is it?”

You meekly asked but you already knew the answer. 

“Bingo, princess! You’d promised him you’d be there. Do you know how much he’s been looking forward to this? It’s all he’s been talking about. Do you know how crushed he’s going to be if you aren’t there?!”

Shit! Shit! Shit!

You knew balancing seeing Choso and Yuji with your increasingly demanding school life was starting to get more challenging but you didn’t realize you’d fuck up this badly.

You really didn’t want to disappoint Yuji, who at this point felt like your own little brother that you never had —but you’d be prepping for this sorority presidency nearly your entire life! 

Your parents were even coming to this! 

Shit, which reminds you Choso cannot be here when they show up. 

Plug!Choso who knows he’ll have to speed now when he leaves if he wants to make the first pitch of Yuji’s game and makes one last ditch effort to get you to attend, but of course it fails.

“Choso, I– I can’t. I want to... but you know how important this is to me. My family. They will be here soon too I—”

Choso tunes out the rest of your excuses as your mention of ‘my family’ had cut unintentionally deep.

You’d gotten so close to him and Yuji that you did feel like ‘their family’. But you weren’t and it was the foolish hope that you could one day become that Choso selfishly indulged in.

He could deal with the hurt, he was used to life shitting on him but it wasn’t fair to Yuji. 

“There he is! That’s him!”

The pussy ass DJ had gone and gotten back up as a group of frat guys in suits rushed over. The commotion was also drawing a few of your sorority sisters and you curse under your breath as a small crowd forms and all eyes draw to you.

“It’s okay guys, he’s clearly lost and is leaving now, right?”

Your voice is bitchy but your eyes are pleading with Choso.

You're pleading with Choso: Not to ruin the event.

Not to be angry with you.

And not to make this situation any worse than what it was. 

“Wait— this guy? He’s that burnout dealer, yeah?”

One of the frat guys chime-in and there's laughter and giggles around.

“Oh my god, it is! He's like so obsessed with her. I always see him creeping around.”

One of your sisters adds with a sneer.

“Not a stalker! Ew!” 

Another one adds.

“What does this weirdo even want with you!?”

More of your sisters chime in.

Choso doesn’t care though.

He only cares what you think. What you’re going to say.

Your phone dings and you look at it. Shit. Your parent’s just arrived on campus.

You didn’t want to do it this way but you had to end this now.

It was better this way. That’s what you would console yourself with later at least.

“Look—Choso was it? This is a private event and you need to leave.”

You turn to your sisters to explain further. “I tutor his little brother for my volunteer work and he somehow got the crazy idea that I was going to go to some little baseball game with them or whatever.”

You turn back to Choso.

“Well— as you can clearly see. I can’t go. I’m busy and like I said this is a private event so again, you need to leave, understood?”

You turn away not being able to stomach the look on his face like a coward and make up some excuse about checking on the ice sculpture which should have been already placed on one of the center banquet tables. 

You know he’s left from the jeers of ‘bye loser!’ ‘fuck outta here freak!’ echo out from the garden. 

This was for the best after all….

….right? PART 2

⋙ ©blkkizzat 2024. do not steal works or gfx, do not translate.

⋙ lol y/n is a huge bih who doesn't deserve our sweet baby. no worries though she is gonna learn her lesson good in part 2 where she finds out shit ain't so sweet lmfao. lmk if you wanna be tagged in comments/reblogs. eta— omg there were so many errors lmfao see this is what happens when i dont re-read my shit 50x before posting lol. i fixed it! sorry to anyone who read it before lol. ⋙ reblog to smoke on choso's joint but comments and likes are appreciated!

[yourlocalbadgerscales]

So

~

90 notes: I’ll post some random shit I’ve been planning to post forever

160 notes: I’ll post a chapter of a fic I have drafted on Ao3 (y’all if I don’t post it before Oct 2 it’ll automatically delete itself so please save my fic before it’s too late oml)

250 notes: I’ll start going on walks at least once a week (I really need motivation)

370 notes: I’ll tell my best friend some big news about my identity (why am I so scared? Idk)

530 notes: I’ll post an audio of me singing something (you can wish for any song in the comments if you like!)

1660 notes: I’ll post a lot of shit I have in my Tumblr drafts + I’ll gather the courage ask my friends for a little money so I can buy myself my own phone (I need a second one in case anything bad happens to me and I have to run away from home. No, I won’t elaborate.)

1850 notes: I’ll take more time to do the things I love this winter.

2000 notes: I’ll wear my lesbian pin in front of my mum and hope she sees it.

2300 notes: I’ll tell my therapist a lot of things… things she probably needs to know but I’m scared to tell her.

2800 notes: I’ll try to talk to my crush in school. Small talk, okay? Nothing more. I’m so scared don’t make me do it-

3100 notes: I’ll finish reading Art Heist, Baby! (No. Please.)

~

I won’t be tagging anyone because y’all are insane and I’ll be forced to keep my promises… sigh

ONLY TWO NOTES PER PERSON!!! Edit: Yup only 2 notes. Can y’all tell I really don’t wanna do all this lol

DOBT MAKE MUNOIST GET TO 2800 BECAISE I DONT WANT TO DO WHAT MY FROEMD WANST ME TO DO AJSHSJSJSJ

[graveyardfullofteeth]

So I said I was gonna finish the books I'm in the middle of (namely the expanse #1 rn, I have just about 100 pages left but it started dragging for me sigh.) But yesterday I started ninth house lawl. I did finish the fifth mackayla lane book last week which I started in October then promptly never finished

[a11eya]

BAKUGOU KATSUKI: MASTERLIST

MULTI-CHAPTER

lights will guide you home (27.1K) (IN-PROGRESS)

Soul-lights aren’t as common in this day and age as they were in the past, before quirks, but they’re common enough that people do still find their soulmates. At thirteen, you meet Bakugou Katsuki, and he lights up for you in orange and gold. You tell him he's your soulmate. He sneers and tells you that you aren't his. He makes your adolescence miserable until you part ways. You meet again as adults, late at night, in a grocery store, over a pile of bok choy. He apologizes for how he treated you when you were children. (In which you have a choice—to reject Bakugou's apology, reject him, or to let him show you the man he's become, to learn with him what it means to love and forgive.)

do you still think about me? (13.6K) (COMPLETED)

Okay, so you had the biggest, most embarrassing crush on Bakugou when you were both in high school. He was kind of your first love, if you believe in those kinds of things. But you got over it. It's fine. You see Bakugou sometimes at hangouts, at get-togethers. He's in your orbit, or you're in his, because of your mutual friends. You're all adults now, so it's fine. It's a little weird, but fine. You're supposed to be on vacation, at a place that's hours away from Musutafu. You're not sure what you've done to deserve it, but Bakugou's here too. And instead of both of you pretending the other doesn't exist, as usual, he's talking to you. He's everywhere. It's fine. (It's not fine.)

ONESHOTS

unfiltered (2.6K)

Bakugou's hot, smart, a literal hero, and best of all, he's the best roommate you've ever had. Sure he's grumpy a lot of the time and he's a terror if you're too loud after he's gone to bed, but he cooks! He cleans!! Who can blame you for developing a little crush on him? You've managed to keep it under wraps for the better part of a year. It's just your luck that the day you're hit by a quirk that removes your brain to mouth filter is the day Bakugou breaks routine. He comes home a little too early from the gym in a tight black compression shirt that's made its way into several of your fantasies, and instead of saying hello, you blurt out— “Fuck, you’re so hot.”

FICLETS AND IDEAS

cologne (250 words)

you come home smelling like todoroki.

it's you (405 words)

bakugou's never been with anyone before. he asks you to show him how.

in a new light, pt. 2 (374, 124 words)

buying his magazine spread was supposed to be a joke. you didn't intend to catch feelings.

treasure (332 words)

you catch a glimpse of a human warrior in your forest, one with yellow hair and red eyes. he's yours, you decide. he's perfect.

exercise (172 words)

bakugou likes to work out to the sound of your voice.

playful (121 words)

his face fits in the palm of your hand so nicely.

start something (203 words)

bakugou likes to sleep shirtless most nights.

number one fan (196 words)

you're a big fan of pro hero dynamight.

enchanted (204 words)

he's human. you're not. he's off limits.

check me out (188 words)

bakugou is an absolute menace once he catches you checking him out.

sunscreen (227 words)

bakugou takes care of you on vacation.

coffee cake (525 words)

you've had a little crush on the coffee shop owner next door for a while now.

saltwater (418 words)

bakugou doesn't like when people look at you at the beach.

tease (407 words)

bakugou makes you finish what you started.

devotion (318 words)

every day, bakugou shows you how much he loves you.

[lovecla]

TAKE YOUR PAIN AWAY | quinn hughes.

chapter three:

<last chapter> <next chapter>

➴ chapter warnings: drinking.

➴ word count: 4.2k

💌 from me to you: another chapter? clara, don’t you have better things to do with your life? yes guys i do but i spent my entire shift today thinking about publishing this chapter and just when i thought i shouldn’t because i don’t want you guys to get tired of me, tumblr sends me a notification that i’ve reached 250 reblogs today. so yes im taking this as a sign from the universe and im posting this today. also, angst? not here! we want madison and quinn to love each other and we want it NOW! (p.s sorry abt the word count. i got carried away)

౨ৎ

2024, MARCH

CLUBBING IN Vancouver felt like a fever dream, especially with Jack Hughes.

It was already one a.m. and you and Jack were incredibly drunk, dancing around with Luke and laughing. All of you minus Quinn, who had ordered just one beer and was sitting at your table like he was fifty years old.

Fortunately, not many people had recognised you or the brothers, which was good. But if you were to be honest, getting recognised was the least of your problems. Getting extremely shit-faced was your ultimate goal that night.

“These songs are all so fucking lame,” you yelled over some country music, making Jack— who was apparently the biggest country music supporter ever— give you the finger. Luke laughed, sipping on his non-alcoholic drink. Getting Luke inside the club with a fake ID was already enough of a mess so there was no need for any more scandals.

You and Jack on the other hand were drinking for both of them.

“Go complain to them, then!” He yelled, probably kidding, but drunk you wasn’t exactly the sanest person ever.

So you walked until you were side by side with the DJ, tapping her on the shoulder to get her attention. “Hey! Play some fucking good music!”

“What?” She shouted, looking at you with her headphones still on. There were so many people dancing around you both that you had no choice but to glue your body to hers.

“Play something like Rihanna,” you yelled, grabbing her microphone and shouting. “Are y’all tired of this lame ass music too?”

People shouted, apparently agreeing with you.

You looked at her, raising your eyebrow and silently asking for her to change it. She shrugged, not really caring about the fact that you had just called her playlist “lame”, and changed into some other song.

Rihanna’s voice and the customers screams filled the place, making you scream too. You were really out of your mind because not drunk you would never want this much attention.

You walked until you were on top of someone’s table, climbing on it with the help of a random guy, dancing and singing along to Rihanna’s song, Only Girl.

You could faintly see Jack, Quinn and Luke at your table, Jack shouting your name while Luke used his phone to record it. Quinn looked like he was having the worst time of his life, but you were probably just seeing things.

“I want you to love me,” you sang, grabbing someone’s spoon to use as your mic. “Like I’m a hot ride,”

Some girls were singing along with you, and you smiled at them. The club was ringing with the heavy bass of the song, casting vibrant hues of pink and purple through the air.

Even if you were drunk, all of your moves were smooth and effortless, like you’d been born for this. You were having fun and for the first time not thinking of the consequences of your actions— which was probably a bad move.

You looked down, noticing that Luke stood in front of you, offering you his hand so you could get off the table, making sure you didn’t hurt yourself in the process.

“Hey,” he greeted, while you hugged his neck.

“Oh, I’ve missed you so much, Lukey,” you shouted over the music. “You’re so grown up now!”

“You’re so gone.” he laughed, putting his hands on your waist. “We need to go.”

He was absolutely right, you were very much gone. And you were a little tired, but it’d been so long since the last time you went out to dance that you didn’t really care about sleeping or going back to your hotel.

“Dance with me, Lukey,” you smirked. “We can go home after this song.”

He only nodded, moving his body with yours awkwardly, making you laugh really hard. You still loved them a lot, and they’d forever be in your heart, no matter how much time passed.

Someone grabbed your arm midway through going down to the floor, pulling you up. You frowned, looking up and watching Mr. No Fun scowling at you and Luke.

“I told you to come get her and you’re now dancing with her? Let’s go,” he hissed, pulling you with him, so close you could feel the warmth of his body against yours.

“I would love to know what the hell happened to you, because why are you an ass all the time?” You yelled, the need of making him as upset as you was bigger than your common sense. “Or maybe it’s just with me.”

“Be quiet, Madison,” he growled before handing Luke his card and asking him to pay the bill and fetch Jack on his way back, while he dragged you out of the club. “We’re leaving.”

“I can see that,” you scoffed, waving to some of the girls who were dancing with you earlier. “Of course it’d be you to ruin my night.”

“Ruin your night?” He stopped, turning around and staring at you. “You’re drunk, dancing in the middle of people you don’t even know, when you’re well known and when you know anyone could do anything to you.”

“You said know thrice,” you giggled, stopping yourself when you saw that his angry face was still there. “And I was dancing with Luke.”

“Yeah, after you danced on top of a fucking table with I don’t even know how many men around.” He snorted, resuming his walk and dragging you with him again.

“Why are you so angry?” You rolled your eyes. “Is it because you still see me as your little sister? Is that what’s happening here?”

He stares at you, gray-ish eyes making you shiver. Locking his jaw, he only shook his head and didn’t say anything else, making you angrier.

But before you could properly lash out on him, Luke and Jack were standing by Quinn’s side, ready to say their goodbyes.

“I would’ve stayed for way longer but you know, duty calls,” Jack smiled, words coming out of his mouth slurred and slow, hugging you weirdly because he was really drunk too.

“Come see us in Jersey. We miss you.” Luke said, hugging you sideways.

“Yeah,” Jack agreed. “I’ll give you my jersey.”

You nodded, kissing them both on the cheek. “Be safe. You guys keep doing your great work. I’ll miss you.”

“Bye, bro,” they hugged Quinn and you were confused for two seconds before remembering that Quinn lived in Vancouver. “See you soon.”

Quinn hugged them back, asking Luke to drive safely and text when they got to their hotel. As you watched them go, you resumed walking too, removing your heels and reaching for your phone to call an Uber.

“Where are you going?” Quinn shouted behind you, and you didn’t look back when you answered “hotel!”. “You’re barefoot, it’s almost three a.m. and you’re alone in a city you don’t even know.”

“First of all, I was born here. And second of all, I don’t see how that’s any of your business,” you replied, trying to see one phone at a time. “Why do I have two phones?” You mumbled.

“Madison, come on,” his steps were getting closer. “Let me drive you to your hotel.”

“I thought you were a hockey player, not a chauffeur,” you snorted, pretty sure that you spelled the French word wrongly. “Go home, Quinn.”

You felt a hand on your wrist, holding you. You stopped, staring at it before looking up and looking at Quinn’s angry face. “Madison. You’re drunk, and Vancouver isn’t as safe as they made it out to be.”

“Why are you so worried now, H-Hughes?” You raised your brow. “You were just fine ignoring me for the entire night. I don’t understand what changed.”

He sighed, running his hands through his beautiful, perfect hair. “I’m sorry, okay? I know I’ve been an asshole this entire night but— it’s complicated. Just let me take you home, alright?”

You stared at him for a long time, watching as his frame sometimes doubled in quantity and two Quinn’s stood in front of you. Two Quinn Hughes would be a very pleasant sight, indeed.

“Why is it complicated?” You finally said.

“Madison, we’re not having this conversation tonight with you three sheets to the wind. Come on.” He said before pulling you again.

“I’m not leaving with you, and stop using hard words!” You shouted, removing yourself from his grip. “Good night.”

Turning around, you started walking again, one step at a time because apparently you had four left feet.

Only to feel your body being pulled and suddenly your feet were off the ground and you were in Quinn’s arms, with him carrying you bridal style, making you yelp.

“What the fuck are you doing?!”

“Last time I saw you, you weren’t so dirty-mouthed.” he mumbled, his stubble scratching your temple.

“Last time you saw me I was fifteen. I am twenty-two now and very much allowed to say things like fuck.” You squirmed in his arms, tiring yourself even more. Quinn’s arms felt like they were made of iron. “I also fuck now.”

Oh you were so going to regret this.

He frowned. “I don’t want to know about that, Madison.”

“‘Course you don’t,” you mumbled, giving up and resting your head on his shoulder.

“We’re going to talk later.” He said, suddenly stopping and putting you down in front of a fancy black car. Probably his.

“About what? Me having sex?” You chuckled.

“No, God. Not that,” he dropped his key, bending over to pick it up. He opened the door for you and ordered: “Get in.”

“You’re actually pretty annoying.” You mumbled, but did what he said anyway. You were starting to feel sleepy and bickering with Quinn seemed uninteresting now.

Even though it was funny to watch him scowl.

His car’s seat was cold but he turned the heat on as soon as he started the car. He got out of the parking spot and started driving around Vancouver’s almost deserted streets.

You sighed, resting your head against the window and getting comfortable. Even though you were still upset with Quinn and even though you were pretty sure he also was upset with you, there was just something comforting about being around him. You loved it a lot, and hadn’t realized you’d missed it this much.

“Which hotel are you in?” He asked after a while, and you didn’t even open your eyes to answer.

“I don’t know,” you shrugged. “Fancy and big, looks like a shoe b-box, but I don’t know the name of i-it.”

“How do you not know the name of the hotel you’re staying at?” You could hear the amusement in his voice, making you smile sleepily. “How were you even going to call an Uber, then?”

“You ask too many questions, Quinn,” you answered, before lulling yourself into a deep sleep.

You didn’t get to sleep for a long time, because soon you had Quinn opening the door and almost making you fall out of the car. “Oh, sorry. Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

You were amazed by the fact that he’d manage to find out in which hotel you were staying in even without you saying anything, and you found yourself smiling, remembering how you admired him as a kid, when he’d always have the answers to your questions.

“What are you smiling about?” He asked you, placing his hands on your lower back.

“Nothing.” You answered but you weren’t exactly sure if the word had come out right.

Either way you heard his quiet laugh, before taking your heels and purse— that you didn’t even remember you had— out of his car and locking it. He guided you through the small path, stopping in front of the big door and unlocking it.

Funny, this hotel looks a lot different than the one you’d checked in but maybe they’d finally upgraded your room.

“How did you get them to give me a better room?” You asked, looking around.

The room looked a lot like a house to be honest, it even had an open kitchen and a living room.

“What do you mean?” He asked, turning around and looking at you, apparently confused.

“When I checked-in earlier they— they,” you hiccupped, wanting nothing more than a bed. “They gave me a very shitty bedroom and I had to take a cold s-shower because the heater was broken.”

“We’re not at your hotel,” he rolled his eyes. “We’re at my house. I don’t know where your hotel is and I don’t have time to drive around until you remember its name so you’ll sleep here tonight.”

If you weren’t so drunk and ready to sleep for the next century, you might’ve put on a fight. But all you managed to do was walk around the living room and say “Okay, sleep well.” Before laying down on his big, fluffy couch.

“What— Jesus,” he echoed, grabbing your hand. “You’re not sleeping on the couch. I have a spare room.”

He walked you to another spacious room, gently helping you sit on the bed.

“Can you wait here for a second? I’ll go and grab something for you to wear. You’re probably uncomfortable with that… thing,” he said, pointing to your dress and leaving the room, not waiting for your answer.

Not that you would’ve given him one anyway, you were too distracted trying not to sleep. It was a hard job.

He didn’t take long, coming back with a plaid shirt and some blue shorts that looked ginormous. “This probably won’t fit you but it’s fine, it’s just for tonight.”

He placed them on the bed, helping you get up and stand on your feet. He turned you around, unzipping your dress and helping you get out of it. Then, he made you face him again, only that he wasn’t really looking at you. His head was down, his eyes on the floor, and you caught yourself smiling with how cute and respectful Quinn’s always been.

You changed into his clothes taking ten minutes more than you usually would, especially with how you are so used to changing fast during runways, but your limbs were heavy and you were on your final straw.

“This doesn’t fit,” you mumbled, watching as you tried to tie the shorts’ lace around your waist and failing miserably, just for it to fall at your feet, leaving you with just his shirt and your panties. “Quinn. It doesn’t fit.”

“I can see that, Madison,” he chuckled, finally looking you in the eye again. “Go to bed. Tomorrow we will find something else.”

You shrugged, getting on the tip of your toes and giving him a light kiss on the cheek. “Night, Quinny.”

You didn’t watch his reaction, heading to bed immediately and passing out before you even got to hear his answer.

౨ৎ

maddiecarter_updates

liked by cherylwilliams, lucaspotter, melanieg_12 and 12,013 others

maddiecarter_updates Looong night for our girl Mads! She was seen by fans in Vancouver at a night club with Jack, Quinn and Luke Hughes, and some locals said they saw her leaving the club with Quinn Hughes (@_quinnhughes)! We hoped she enjoyed herself! 😊

View all 129 comments

user1 who r these fine men lmfao

maddiecarter_updates user1 They’re NHL players, Quinn plays for the Vancouver Canucks and both Luke and Jack play for the NJ Devils. 🙂

user2 lowkey wish she’d grab my ass too :/

user3 Aren’t they the guys she grew up with? I might be wrong though..

maddiecarter_updates user3 Madison never confirmed nor denied these rumours. The nature of her relationship with the Hughes is still unknown and we must respect that :)

user4 SHE’s SO FINEEEEEE

user5 HUGGY BEAR LOOKING SO DAMN FINE THATS MY CAPTAIN

user6 watch puck bunnies start dragging her in 3. 2. 1….

౨ৎ

WAKING UP the next morning felt like running an entire marathon barefoot and naked, after eating a whole bunch of junk food and drinking two gallons of milk.

In other words, it’d been hard.

It felt like you were emerging from a foggy, oppressive haze. Your eyelids were heavy, struggling to open, and when you finally managed to open them, the light from the window felt painfully bright, stabbing your temple.

Your mouth feels like sandpaper and the lingering taste of alcohol sits on your tongue. Every sound, even the gentle rustle of sheets, seems amplified, reverberating in your throbbing head. A dull, relentless ache pulses behind your eyes, making it hard to focus on anything.

“Holy fuck,” you mumbled, trying to wet your lips with your tongue. “What the hell…”

Your body feels heavy, sluggish, and as you slowly sit up the whole room starts spinning slightly. A wave of nausea hits you, a queasy reminder of the night before. Your stomach churns, and there's an unsettling sensation in your gut, as if everything is on the edge of tipping over. You rub your face, feeling the sweat and the grogginess, struggling to remember what happened, but the memories come in disjointed flashes.

“Oh my God.”

You were mortified with your own actions. Dancing on top of a table? Grabbing the DJ’s ass? Talking with Quinn about your sex life?

“Oh my God,” you cover your mouth with your hand, trying not to throw up.

You got up, looking around, trying to recognise the room you were in. It didn’t have much decoration in it, just a plain wallpaper and a big bed with two nightstands. There was a door to the left which you opened, finding a small bathroom with a shower, a sink and a toilet.

Looking at yourself in the mirror, you actually gasped. Your hair was all over the place, your makeup smudged and Quinn’s shirt had fallen off and your boobs were almost out.

“I need a shower,” you mumbled, getting out of your panties and Quinn’s shirt, turning the shower on. Your head was still pounding and it only got worse when you remembered that you were away from Bella and that you’d have to move to Vancouver in less than two weeks.

Even if you wanted to say no to La Vie en Rose’s deal so bad, you didn’t want to do that with Nicholas. He was a great person, and a great friend too, and you knew he had the purest of intentions. And it would only be for six months.

You scrubbed your body with the liquid soap, feeling the hot water worsening your headache but you weren’t the type of person who enjoyed cold showers.

Ten minutes later, the quickest shower of your life, you stood naked in the middle of the bathroom, looking for a towel inside the cabinets. After you found one, you wrapped your body around it and dried yourself while walking back to the bedroom.

You found a new change of clothes on the bed and a new pair of boxers, chuckling with how Quinn must have looked when he placed these things on your bed.

Oh, right. Quinn. You were at his house.

Thinking of what you’d even say to him, you put on the clothes he left for you, not wearing the shorts again. The shirt covered the boxers anyway.

You left the bedroom, walking around the house until you finally found the kitchen, reading the clock before you stared at Quinn. 7:34a.m.

“How did I wake up this early?” You asked, sitting on a stool and watching as he turned around and smiled at you.

His smile was still the same, just a little bit different. He looked tired, but his eyes still held that softness you adored so much.

“Morning to you,” he says, handing you a cup of coffee. “Your body’s probably still used to your usual routine. It’s normal.”

“That’s bullshit,” you groaned. “I feel like I’m about to die.”

“Don’t say that,” he chuckled. “You’ll be fine.”

You raised your brow at him, watched as he leaned against the counter and stared right back at you. Usually, you’d feel self conscious and nervous, but Quinn looked at you with tenderness, with delicacy. He made you feel safe without even doing anything, even if you were still supposedly mad at each other.

Which reminded you of something.

“Are you still mad at me?”

He scoffed. “I wasn’t mad at you, Madison.”

“You keep calling me that,” you pointed out. “I don’t remember everything that happened last night, but I do remember how upset you were with me, and how you didn’t even look at me for too long. Only when you were frowning.”

“Madison—”

“I get that you’re mad at me because I never talked to you again, or visited you in the US or when I didn’t congratulate you when you got drafted but—” you sighed, running your hands through your hair, frustrated. “You have no right to be upset.”

You watched as he looked at you, incredulous. “I have no right to be upset?” He cocked his head, wavy hair falling freely to the side. “Wanna tell me why?”

“Well, for starters, the phone works both ways,” you pointed out. “And also, you never came back for me either. So we’re even.”

“Are you kidding?” He laughed but you could see that he wasn’t thinking that what you were saying was actually funny. “Madison, tell me you’re kidding.”

“I’m not!” You raised your arms, regretting immediately because your body still hurt. “Why would I joke about that?”

“Because I went to your house.”

You stared at him, waiting for him to tell you he was the one who was joking. Only that he stayed quiet, waiting for you to realize he was being serious.

“What the hell, Quinn? What do you mean?”

“After I called you several times and you didn’t pick up, I went to your parents’ house in Toronto, back in 2018,” he gestured with his hands, eyes never leaving yours. “I told your mom I was in town and I needed to see you, but she told me you were in Los Angeles, training to be a model, whatever that means.”

“I only moved to LA when I turned eighteen,” you frowned, confused. “And I never got any of your calls, not once. So I never called you because I thought— I don’t know, I thought you had gotten tired of me.”

“Why would you even think that?” He asked, voice filled with distress. “Madison, you were my best friend.”

“You were surrounded by gorgeous, beautiful girls who were your age and in the pictures you looked like you were having fun with them, so—”

“I would trade them all for you, Maddie. And you know that.”

You didn’t know which part of his statement hurt you the most. Him calling you by the nickname he gave you for the first time in years or the fact that you knew he was telling the truth.

“I know,” you whispered, choosing to look at the cup in front of you. “Maybe that’s exactly why I didn’t call or text you. You deserved better than some stupid fifteen year old who thought love could change the world.” You laughed, humorlessly.

“Don’t talk about yourself that way,” he complained. “You weren’t stupid. And I’m sorry for all this mess.”

You looked up, frowning. “I’m the one who needs to apologize. My mom lied to you about me moving and she probably blocked your number on my phone.”

“Either way, I shouldn’t have spoken to you the way I did. I just… seeing you after all these years and listening to you talking about Los Angeles like it was heaven on Earth when you hadn’t visited me or my family in a long time made me go crazy, ” he chuckles.

“Well, now we’re both sorry,” you mumbled, drinking the rest of the lukewarm coffee in one go. “What do we do now?”

“We can try keeping in touch with each other even when you’re back in LA,” he suggests, moving his body around the kitchen. “If that’s what you want, of course.”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m not going back to LA. At least not any time soon.”

He cocks his head. “What do you mean?”

“Got a job with a Canadian brand and I have to stay here for the next six months.”

“Stay here as in live here?” He asked, lips curling up. You nodded. “Oh.”

“Yup.”

“You don’t seem too excited.”

“I don’t really love the idea of living in the same city as my mom,” you mumbled, drawing invisible patterns with your fingers on the marble surface. “But I’ve been looking forward to working with them for a long time now.”

You heard Quinn’s steps, and next thing you know he was beside you, resting his elbows on the counter and looking at you with fond, blue eyes. “Don’t let people ruin what’s great for you, Maddie. No one should be more important than your dreams.”

You looked at him, smiling shyly. You didn’t really know how to act around him now that you were both in peace. And you still didn’t know what to do with your heart whenever it beat faster inside of you because of Quinn.

“Thanks, Quinn,” you sighed, getting off the stool. “I’ll go back to my hotel now. I’ll sleep before I decide what I need to do with my life.”

“A good nap is a good nap,” he nods. Then, scratching the back of his neck, he softly adds: “You can nap here if you want. I’ll head to the gym with my team but you’re free to stay.”

You can feel the blush adorning your face and you let out a fake cough, trying to get it back to normal.

“Okay,” you whisper. “Thank you. I’ll be out of your hair as soon as possible.”

He chuckles and stares at you for a while, looking like he was in the middle of a battle with his thoughts. At the end, you’d have to thank whoever won inside of his head, because he walked until he was standing not even an inch away from you and kissed you on your forehead, soft lips making you shiver.

“No need to hurry. I like having you around.”

Oh, boy. This was going to be difficult.

taglist: @ru-kru @alwaysclassyeagle @hischierswhore 🤎

[geoviki]

Mo Guan Shan’s Big Feelings

Mo Guan Shan, resident tsundere of 19 Days, pretends to be tough and hard-hearted.  But he’s easily and frequently reduced to tears, as we soon realize.  In fact, he cries so often in the story that this post is pretty massive.

MGS cries as a child, of course.  He’s in a clinic in his mom’s arms when She Li first becomes obsessed with him (ch 294).

MGS has a bad dream about the day his dad told little Guan Shan he couldn’t come to the school’s robot fair (ch 392).

MGS cries in other dreams too.  Soon after meeting He Tian, he has a sensual dream of being comforted in He Tian’s arms after being bullied.  Look closely – there are little tears falling as He Tian assures him he’s the “most invincible badass.” (ch 250)

True to form, he cries in the Santa fantasy extra when his house is destroyed (ch 345).

MGS cries when he’s frustrated, like in this episode after the play when he can’t untie himself to pee (ch 359).

MGS is a weepy drunk as well.  After accidentally destroying Brother Qiu’s bike (ch 427), he drunkenly sobs in bed as he vows to somehow repay him. 

Later, while MGS is still drunk, He Tian slips and falls while carrying him, ripping Mo’s pants in front of He Cheng (ch 429).  MGS cries from embarrassment.

Unsurprisingly, MGS cries over his dad.  After He Tian unknowingly brings him to dinner at what is probably his father’s former restaurant, we see a young MGS in flashback crying in fear at the chaos around him.  Present-day MGS flees and He Tian finds him crying in the parking lot (ch 217)

One of the more moving chapters shows MGS breaking down as he visits his father in prison for the first time (ch 240).

MGS cries from sheer anger in several chapters.  The earliest is when He Tian forces an unwanted kiss on him as a misplayed joke (ch 174-175).  He Tian is taken aback by Mo’s strong, tearful reaction.  It’s probably the first time someone doesn’t try to placate He Tian when he’s being a jerk, and he begins to take MGS more seriously after this.

MGS tries to end his friendship with He Tian after the school play that indirectly causes him to lose his meager job.  He Tian doesn’t help matters by waving money at him as they quarrel.  MGS weeps with anger and says, “Standing with you makes me feel like a failure.”  (ch 364)

He cries in anger once more as he watches incredulously as She Li incinerates his backpack (ch 368).  (She Li seems to walk around carrying gasoline like it’s no big deal – what’s up with that?)

MGS cries when he’s worried.  When he digs frantically through the mudslide during their ill-fated mountain hike, he thinks He Tian has been buried alive.  When He Tian calls out, MGS throws his teary self into He Tian’s arms (ch 329).

MGS’s worry is clear when the last violent fight with She Li is finally over and He Tian has won (ch 408).  The battle was so fierce that by the end He Tian is crying too, and soon they’re embracing (I sense a pattern here!)

MGS often cries when his emotions overwhelm him.  Early on, after MGS is rescued from the fiasco of agreeing to take the blame for a serious crime, He Tian tells him, “Don’t try to shoulder everything yourself.” (ch 188).  MGS tears up at the thought that someone like He Tian has his back.

MGS ends up full-on sobbing in He Tian’s arms (again) when he finally admits why She Li has a hold over him: because of the homeless man who tried to kill him (ch 319).

In one of the most traumatic scenes (and a personal favorite), both guys shed a lot of tears when He Tian finds him after She Li has tortured and burned him (ch 369-370).  These chapters mark a turning point in their relationship from friends to more.

MGS is shown when he’s happy only once, and that memorable event will happen in their future: that Christmas night when He Tian returns and proposes with matching rings (ch 412).  Cue the waterworks!

Thanks to all of the translators who provide the English versions of the story!

[keystonepublishing]

Dirges in The Dark by WixWrites

Before I start, let me just say: Ranchers! Scarian! Hermits and Life Series and Empires characters! Sheriff Jimmy! Sheriff Scar! Criminal Tango! the Wild West! Treebark and Ethubs!

RANCHERS. THE WILD WEST. CREEPING ELDRITCH HORROR.

Whoo, that was a rush.

I'll be honest; I think this book would have come out much sooner if not for my decision to add-in a whole lot of stuff into the text and pages. It got to the point that the original cover would have been a wanted poster at the front and a sheriff's report at the back!

I had to restrain myself, lest this book would never get finished at all. It's already been 59 days since my last post, and doing the original cover would have stretched the days even further. So I had to follow the mantra: Finished, not perfect. Besides, nothing says I can't make another version in the future...

From the moment I finished this fic, I knew it would become a book. But at 143,412 words, Dirges in The Dark by @twodiamondhoes would stretch my ficbinding skills to the limit and would be the second-ever bind that would reach past 250 pages (the first was an MCYT Sleepy Bois fic that predates this blog that I want to redo).

Eventually, the full typeset took up 520 pages! And as such, I finally decided to use extra support for the entire textblock. From an old pair of pajamas, I backed strips of fabric with glue and paper before cutting it into tapes, forming a crucial support for the various weaves along the spine. I then covered the entire spine in brown wrapping paper for even more strength.

For the title and headings, I scoured for and found several typefaces, dingbats, and vector graphics which really evoked the fic's Western and Gothic vibes. I also took some inspiration from fellow ficbinders in the Renegade Publishing group for the style of layout and formatting throughout the book, such as using faded images in the background of these pre-story pages.

I wanted the reader to be immersed in the Wild West from the get-go, so having such images from the start — before the story even begins — felt very appropriate. I tried to make them thematic to the information presented, like a singing cowboy for the music playlist pages, but I think I made the image too faint to be seen!

As for the chapter openers, I experimented with some layouts before finalizing on what you see: photos taking up one entire page on the left with the chapter titles and opening paragraphs on the right.

Just like my last bind, I want to make the reader feel immersed in the story and also bring out the mood of that particular chapter. This, however, led me to entire days of scouting and scouring stock photo sites just to find the right pictures for 11 different chapters. 4/10 would not recommend for sanity.

Given that the story uses a number of foreign words, old slang, and specific Wild West-era terms, I added a plethora of footnotes at the bottom of some pages for extra context and meaning.

I also wanted to be playful and make certain story parts, such as characters receiving letters and notes, really look like they're a part of the story. So I cropped old paper textures and fished out old fonts from the past to make them look as if they're actually there, pasted against the paragraphs!

More importantly, there were some specific parts of the fic that felt super important and I wanted to highlight these passages, especially the Deals made by the characters throughout their arcs. Given DiTD has a certain affinity with eldritch darkness, I decided to highlight such paragraphs by backlighting them against a band of pure black. Besides being thematic as hell, I made the bands have curved edges and decorative lines to add a certain western-gothic touch!

It was from this that I begin to think "what if I can color entire pages to convey the mood and setting?"

...Which led to the madness in these pages. I can't reveal too much because of spoilers, but there are certain times when the characters end up in situations where the very light turns to dark. Or they end up in hellish situations. Or the eldritch creatures began to speak.

It took some creative brainstorming to figure out how to show the mood of such scenes in printed pages, but I eventually figured out that I need find the right fonts, change their colors from black to white, and then change their backgrounds from white to dark to highlight them all! The power of formatting!

There's a lot more pages where I went wild with such shades and fonts, but I ain't revealing in public because spoilers!

But undoubtedly, this is the biggest experiment I have made with this bind. There is a certain part where Grian and Pearl spoke in eldritch R'lyehian / Cthuvian, and I want to convey the sheer strangeness of the speech and it's meaning. Something outside the box.

Luckily, I have an inspiration in fellow fanbinder @mythrilthread, who made an amazing fanbind that used vellum overlays to showcase the speaking of alien languages and what they mean in English. AND IT LOOKS SICK AS FUCK. When I finished reading Dirges, I knew I had to emulate this form of language translation, so I printed the eldritch speech, cut it, and pasted it onto the spine to give a similar effect of strangeness, and IT LOOKS SO COOL!!!

And lastly, I just had to include some of the amazing fanart made by readers into the book! All of these are placed by their corresponding text and chapters, and they all look so cool!

So I want to give a special thanks to @azzayofchaos, @leafdoodles, @hybbart, and @foxyola for granting their permission for me to include their incredible works into this bind! The dark shades and page formatting is one thing, but these works truly make this book feel so much more alive!

All in all, this bind was an odyssey in the making. I experimented with page formatting, layout wizardry, and bookmaking methods that I haven't tried before. While I know I could do better, I am beyond happy to see this work finished!

And once again, a thousand thanks to @twodiamondhoes / WixWrites for crafting an amazing story!

[when-life-gives-you-lemons-if]

What's the difference between writing for Hosted Games and Hearts of Choice. Because it seems like the latter is more strict? I feel like normally writers get to decide what they want for their IFs when it comes to basically everything but for Spices it seems there are many constraints. So i'm wondering if it's cause it's gonna be published through Hearts of choice rather than hosted games?

So Hosted games basically, you do whatever you want, it's your game, you write it and commission artwork for it, and ask people to beta test it and submit it to HG and they will publish it for you in exchange you get 25% of the revenue. So if your game makes 1,000, you get 250 out of that. That money you only get it when the game is published, 2 months actually after the game is published. And every month if your game makes for example 100 for the month, you get 25.

HC, you're basically contracted to write a game for them, you pitch 3 stories, and they choose which one they want.

So I pitched, the lawyer If, spices of the Heart, and that other one that was like a competition in the tech industry IF, so they chose Spices, so that's why the lawyer IF I'm doing whatever I want with it lol.

But when they choose Spices, they will tell you what they want you to do with that story, so you still get to write it, but they will tell you how many stats they want in it, how many ROs they think are best, how some scenes should be, how the endings should be, so they have a lot of control on the content because it's basically a game they bought from you and you are just writing it for them.

They will provide artwork such as cover, and chapter headers, they will provide beta testing, they will provide editorial guidance like copy editing everything, and most importantly you have deadlines. You have to write a certain amount of chapters in this amount of time.

They also have to approve a chapter before you publish the demo, and they also ask for revisions if some scenes can be changed or extended. It's very strict.

You still get 25% of the revenue, but they give you that 25% in the form of an advance while you are writing the game, so the advance is 5,000 in total so that 5,000 I get it let's say I finish two chapters, I get 1,000, and then I finish another 3 chapters, I get another 1000, and the last amount I get it when the game is released.

So let's say Spices of the Heart is finished and it doesn't make $20,000 in total when the game is published, which means 15,000 for HC and that 5,000 I already got while writing the game. I don't get any more money.

But if the game makes more than that, then I'll get some of the 25% of that revenue monthly.

Personally, I prefer Hosted games, because I get to decide everything about the game, but it's also good to have them taking care of artwork and beta testing and you get the recognition of being an HC writer.

[everythingne]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ ➛ one and two, chapter three (ls2)

heading back home after silverstone is rough, for a number of reasons.

warnings/notes: alcohol mentions, yns dad being kind a dick to logan, me manifesting a logan to prema indycar move in this fr (guys lets see if i was an oracle, i wrote this on july 3rd LMAO)

You're sitting in the William's offices, legs propped up on the couch as the sim work Alex and Logan have been doing slowly wraps up. You've been a ball of anxiety all weekend, this is when Logan is supposed to announce his move to Indycar and you're not sure who he's told about it. Media's been swirling rumors for weeks.

You've been sitting on this secret for so long, it feels like its about to burst out of your mouth.

You turn your head to where Alex and Logan talk in a corner. The two look like they're in deep discussion, murmuring with hands over their mouths as if holding the words in their mouths will make them hurt less.

At the end, they share a tight hug, Alex whacking Logan's shoulder and murmuring something that has Logan tossing his head back in a laugh before they part ways when Alex's trainers come to grab him. Logan makes his way back to you, leaning down to steal a kiss before he takes you by the hands and drags you off down a hall.

"How'd it go?" You ask Logan, his hand intertwined with yours as you follow him to the little room where his bag is sitting. They've pretty much finished for the day, and you know Logan wants nothing more than to get back to the apartment so you can finish packing, so you just follow behind him.

"Sim was fine." Logan shrugs, "that thing does not perform like my car at all. I wish my car was like that."

"I know, baby." You hum, squeezing his hand, and the look you give tells him what he needs to know.

"Now Alex and Oscar know." He presses a kiss to the side of your head before detaching to grab his stuff, "I mean, I think Alex knew as soon as the rumors came out that they were true. He took it well, said he'd miss having me around."

"Well good thing he lives pretty close by," You smile when you notice Logan looks a little lost, reaching out to intertwine your fingers, "we can have him and Lily over during breaks a such, and you can go to races to support him when we aren't busy."

Logan smiles, squeezing your hand, "Yeah... yeah, thanks I just... I don't know. I knew leaving this was gonna be hard, because all of this is my dream... but..."

"But you get treated like a seat warmer. So, it's off to better ventures with Prema, right?" You smile and Logan nods, pecking your lips once again like he can't do it enough.

"Right." He sighs, smiling before he pulls you off and into the main halls. It's time to leave, and with your hand in his, you can tell Logan feels more confident now.

You land in Iowa for the Hy-Vee Homefront 250. It's nice to be back on home soil, but within moments your father is on the phone with you, breathing down your throat about everything. You're set to meet Logan's family on this short trip from Iowa, to Florida, to DC, and then back out to England for Logan to finish up his training before the second leg of the season.

So as Logan stands with some Indy drivers, shaking hands and laughing with them, you're stuck bickering on the phone with your dad. About what? Logan. Apparently, Logan's now not good enough for you.

"This is the stupidest thing ever," You hiss into the phone, glancing to make sure Logan's far enough away to not hear you as you snip back at your father, "I went along with your little arranged marriage, fell in love with the guy, and now you want me to back out?"

"He's a terrible driver, you deserve someone who's able to keep up with your lifestyle of being amazing at your work!" Is your father's response, and you can hear your mother scolding him in the back. Your father is quick to wave her off with a sharp hiss of some choice Italian words that would make your Nonna beat his ass.

"He's in a shit team that hates him," you overdramatize, "He is a good driver, he just needs a chance to show it. That's what IndyCar is gonna do for him. Okay?"

Your father sighs, "I just don't want you to be the only successful one."

"He made it to F1, is that not successful enough for you, Santino?" You huff at your father, leaning against the exterior wall of the Arrow McLaren motorhome that's housing you this weekend (a bit of a gift from Pato and Alex.) You rake a hand through your hair, knowing you're messing it up, but you just swallow and look away from where you can see Logan laughing with Kyle.

Your father comes up with some bullshit excuse that has you telling him to leave you alone for the weekend, since you'll be in DC on Tuesday morning, and you quickly shut off your call before slipping your phone in your pocket and laying your head back against the wall.

You take a slow breath and then push yourself off the wall, quickly making your way back to Logan's side to wrap your hands around the arm he had hidden in his pocket. He looks over, leaning down to peck a kiss to your head.

"Sorry for running off," you apologize, mostly to Kyle, "work calls."

"No worry, I get it." Kyle smiles, peeking over his shoulder at a few of the other drivers to make their way over. Logan and Alex sharing a quick fistbump in greeting as Pato happily gives you a hug, exclaiming how he's been told so much about you. By the end of the conversation, you've been roped into a dinner with the group, and Logan leans over to murmur,

"See, told you they'd be more welcoming."

And you can't help but laugh softly because, yeah, of course they were.

liked by premaracing, patoward, oscarpiastri, and others...

yn.fdotus: a red adventure for the off weekend ❤️ congrats to @ patoward and @ kylekirkwood on their wins this weekend in iowa !

thank you to both @ premaracing and @ arrowmclaren for hosting us this weekend

tagged: logansargeant, kylekirkwood, patoward

user1: they went to the indy race??

patoward: you better come back soon

user2: logan is going to prema. its real. yn said so basically.

kylekirkwood: see you soon !

premaracing: see you both very very soon at hq !

liked by yn.fdotus, logansargeant

Madelyn has been non-stop gushing over you since you and Logan had made it to his parents house in a small oceanside town a bit away from Miami. Between showing you the house and mass amounts of baby Logan (and by extension, Oscar) photos, you've been practically smothered by her love.

It's much later now, having spent most of the afternoon lazily tanning and spending time with the Sargeants poolside. Logan's father, Daniel, had made a fire with Dalton and his wife and kids, and you reap the benefits of their hard work as you braid your hair back in front of the warm fire.

Dalton's youngest watches you, jaw dropped before she wiggles off her chair and quickly runs around the fire to grab at your leg, "excuse me, miss yn..?"

You smile, tying off your braid as you look down at her, "Yes, sweetheart?"

"Can you make my hair look pretty like yours?" She asks, and her older sister gasped, running over too and begging for the same. You laugh and lean over, hoisting both girls into your lap and taking their little ponytails out. You brush your fingers through the youngests hair--Maddie's, quickly braiding back her hair in dutch braids and letting her watch as your braid her sister Dani's hair. Once your done, both girls hop off and run to go show their mother and you smile, shaking some loose pieces of hair off your hands before a blanket is draped over you and Logan pops down next to you on the little swing chair set up.

"You look so perfect here." Logan murmurs, pressing a kiss to your lips, "I love you."

"Love you too," you whisper to Logan, unable to hide the pure love in your smile as he grins and lets you lean your head on him.

liked by oscarpiastri, daltonsargeant, potus, and others...

logansargeant: coolest aunt and uncle award

tagged: daltonsargeant, yn.fdotus

user2: shut UP yn and logans nieces (?) im gonna scream

daltonsargeant: the girls want auntie yn back soon !

user3: crying. they are a fucking FAMILY.

oscarpiastri: how many baby photos were shown?

⤷ yn.fdotus: so many. I have an arsenal.

user4: AWEEE STOPP

user5: their relationship is so random i cant believe they arent arranged

yn.fdotus: best uncle forever <3

Your family is far more stressful than Logan's. You fly out with his parents to DC, knowing its time to prepare for the rest of your relationship with Logan. Apparently, you'd been able to convince your brother Santi to talk your dad off calling off the whole thing.

When you arrive in the White House, your father is in a meeting, so your mother spends her time touring around the Sargeant's and introducing them to the maids and such who will be helping them for the weekend they're in DC. And you and Santi sneak off to a hall while he gives you a tight hug.

"I know I'm normally on your case, but you've got yourself a good guy, and I'm actually happy for you." Santi admits quietly, a maid passing by with a drink cart to bring to one of the main rooms.

"Wow, my brother not being a dick?" You grin, punching his arm, "who would've thought."

Santi scowls, going to say something when the maid reappears, apologizng for interrupting before informing you lunch is served. You and Santi nod, thank her, and make your way into the lavish sitting room your mother has had all set up.

"This is wonderful," Madelyn smiles to your mother who thanks her, and you know your mother is just happy to have guests. Santi kisses his wife as he steps in, and you move to settle down next to Logan who leans over and murmurs,

"I now have baby photos to rival the ones my mom showed you of me." His grin is contagious and you can't help but laugh, punching his thigh as you lean into him with laughter. Your mother sharing a happy expression with Logan's parents, and handing out plates of food to the table.

And finally, your father makes his way into the room.

"I apologize for the delay," your father brushes imaginary crumbs off his suit, "politics wait for no one. But I should have the night clear."

He introduces himself to Logan and his parents formally, and you can tell Logan's a bit nervous about the whole thing. Your hand finds his under the table naturally, your other hand settled on the neck of your wine glass as you take a slow sip of the cool liquid. Logan squeezes your hand, settling into his chair.

You can see the way your father's eyes linger on Logan each chance he gets, and he dances around the topic of racing, instead devoting time to discuss how exactly you and Logan were going to act. It's pretty much just as you had been, the two of you were absolutely infatuated with one another, and were to continue acting like it. Luckily, for both of your sakes, no acting would be needed since you did truly love one another.

And then it comes to the ring. Your father declares he'll buy it, but quickly Logan clears his throat, "Actually I was wondering, uhm.." He falters, glancing to his mother who gives him a smile of encouragement, causing Logan to continue, "I have my mothers original wedding band. And my brother, Dalton, got engaged with my mothers original engagement ring. I... I figured it would be more... symbolic, I guess? To give Yn something from my family. Help to... seal the deal, y'know?"

Your mother awes, immediately exclaiming, "that's a wonderful idea, Logan! Don't you think so, Santino?"

Your father rolls the idea around, before Logan's mother grabs her purse and fusses with it, all eyes drawing to her as she takes out a box and slides it down to the table to Logan. He takes the box and opens it, turning it before you can see the ring. Your fathers eyes soften, gently taking the ring into his hands.

"I..." Your father hums, clicking the box shut and handing it back to Logan before turning to your mother, "I do agree, my dear. It's quite the beautiful ring. And very personal. The story behind it will help solidify the relationship."

"And then when should the engagement happen?" Logan's mother asks, fiddling with her wine glass as she smiles at her son. Your mother hums, tapping her acrylic nails on the counter before waving her glass at you in expression as she asks,

"What is the date you've been telling people you started dating?"

"I haven't been--" You start, but Logan cuts you off, "Ironically, July 4th, 2020. I said it was the last time I was able to spend July 4th home in the states because I wasn't really racing pro yet. And I said we went out with my family, and that night kinda solidified we were dating."

You turn to smile at him, happy the date is actually something with a super sweet meaning--and laughing a little because it's just so American to have your anniversary be the fucking Fourth of July.

"And it will be, what, four years of dating?" Your mother hums, "Four is my lucky number. Seems like a perfect time to me to get engaged."

You nod and Logan smiles, lifting your hand to press a firm kiss to your ring finger and you laugh, leaning into him. The rest of the planning revolves around who's going to help pay for the wedding, where it will be, when it will be, and who will be going. Your mother insists on helping you hire a wedding planner, which is fine with you, and you make a small list of bridesmaids while Logan makes a list of groomsmen. By the time the lunch is over, the plan is set solid, and the next years Fourth of July won't ever be able to come soon enough.

liked by potus, kylekirkwood, alexalbon, and others...

logansargeant: true patriots over here

user1: did they visit yns family???

user2: first logans family and now yns?? gonna CRY

yn.fdotus: imagine losing to the nationals. could be the marlins.

⤷ logansargeant: shut the fuck up?

user3: ur honor they are ENDGAME !!!

oscarpiastri: you couldn't be american enough, you had to date the first daughter

⤷ logansargeant: I am pretty patriotic

santino.fsotus: wow u made yn look tall?

flotus: so nice to have you logan!!

⤷ user4: OMG THEY MET LOGAN??

⤷ santino.fsotus: we've known logan for a while ..

taglist (still open, and thank you!)

@stinkyjax @kroissant-content @samantha-chicago @jpg3 @mickf1loverf2too

@nixisracing @h34rts4maisey @heartsfromtaeyong @a-beaverhausen

@purplephantomwolf @insanedeathwish @llando4norris @formulaonebuff

@vicurious28 @lady1505 @lozzamez3 @kqliie @barbsschumacher

[effetsecndaires]

— 𝐂𝐀𝐌! 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟐

➺ PAIRING | gyutaro shabana x fem!reader.

➺ CONTENT WARNING | modern setting, gyutaro is human, camgirl reader, sex work, mention of sex, oral (male receiving - not from reader), masturbation. wc: 3k

➺ NOTE | this chapter was supposed to be much longer, but I sadly had to split it in two parts. I'm not satisfied with it at all but what's new lol 🧚🏻‍♀️ not proofread (if I read it again i might gauge my eyes out) i'll update AO3 tomorrow :3

He’s fucked. Absolutely, utterly fucked. He’s read the mail approximately fifty times already, blinking many, many times just to make sure he wasn't hallucinating.

His stomach twists and he has to swallow back the nauseous feeling in his throat. Damn it. What the hell was he thinking? He doesn’t have money to throw around like this. That damn donation had been impulsive, a split-second decision fueled by the rush of pleasure he felt on the moment.

Now it’s hitting him. Hard. His bank account is already bleeding dry, his sister depends on him and he’s been stretching their groceries for days already.

Gyutaro runs a hand through his hair and swears under his breath, tugging at the roots.

Maybe it’s not too late. He can always message the site and plead for a refund… right? Surely they can do something about it? His leg bounces anxiously as he stares at the screen, trying to figure things out.

“Onii-chan!”

He slams the laptop shut, startled.

Within the next seconds Ume is storming into his room and throwing herself at him, her arms wrapping tightly around his shoulders.

“Hey, get off me.” he tries to wriggle out of her tight embrace, though not putting much effort into it. His voice holds a note of exasperation as he turns to look at her, her arms still firmly wrapped around his neck. “what's that for?”

“I may or may not have a favor to ask…” Ume drags out.

Gyutaro rolls his eyes, though there's no actual irritation behind the gesture.

“I’m going out with my friends tonight and, well, you know, I can't exactly go out without any money. You promised I could have a little extra cash this month.” Ume announces, her voice soft and innocent, as if the right tone might do the trick. Gyutaro groans, scratching the back of his neck and looking at his lap nervously.

Great. That's exactly what he needs right now. But she’s right—he did promise her extra cash this month. Cash he just blew on some camgirl he’s gotten far too obsessed with.

His cheeks flush in embarrassment, and he tries to keep his tone neutral so as to not let it show.

“...You know we're tight on money, Ume.”

“I know, but I haven’t been out in weeks!” she unwraps her arms from him, moving to sit on his desk instead, her legs dangling off the edge. Gyutaro's heart drops at how close she is to the laptop, afraid that she might grab it and come face to face with the mail. His fingers begin to subconsciously scratch his arm as a distraction.

“I…listen, I get that,” he says, his voice strained and apologetic. “But we really can’t afford any extras right now. We’re barely covering the basics. I’m sorry, Ume.”

“But please?” she interrupts, her eyes widening in that innocent way that always makes it hard for him to refuse. “Just this once? I swear I’ll pay you back as soon as I can! Come on, please!” she interjects, her voice suddenly sharper. “I’m not asking for much! Just enough for a night out with my friends. You act like I’m asking for the world or something.”

He hates saying no to her.

He always does his best to give her everything she needs, even if it means stretching himself thin—taking on extra shifts, sacrificing sleep, and pushing through exhaustion. It’s been this way for as long as he can remember and he's fine with it, as long as it keeps Ume happy. But this time, he can’t give himself the luxury to give in, not when he’s already made a mistake that’s left them $250 deeper in the hole.

“Besides, didn't you get paid this week?” she continues.

He swallows hard, scrambling for an explanation that sounds believable.

“Yeah, I did.” His scratching comes to a halt, his hands balling into fists instead so he doesn’t give into the itch. “But I had to cover some things first. You know…bills… insurance, n’stuff. It all adds up quickly,” he says, hoping the vague answer will be enough to satisfy her. “There just wasn’t much left over this time.”

Ume sighs, muttering a dismissive 'whatever’ as she hops off the desk. Gyutaro’s guilt only intensifies when she dramatically rolls her eyes, but he knows she’ll get over it.

Right?

Fucking hell.

“Ume, wait.”

Ume pokes her head back into the room, her face twisted in a small, disappointed frown as she watches him reach into his pocket. Gyutaro pulls out a crumpled twenty-dollar bill from his wallet and hands it to her.

"That's all I’ve got right now. I’m sorry, okay? I’ll… I’ll make it up to you next month, I swear…"

He was planning on paying their groceries with that money, but he can't afford to disappoint her again and raise her suspicions.

Ume hesitates, then finally takes the money, her fingers brushing his as she snatches it from his hand.

"Fine," Ume mutters, turning on her heel and heading for the exit. Just as she reaches the door, she pauses for a second, her hand on the knob. For a moment, Gyutaro thinks she might say something, maybe even offer some kind of forgiveness. But she doesn’t. Instead, she swings the door open and leaves without another word.

As Ume walks away, her footsteps echoing down the hall, Gyutaro gets up from his chair and starts pacing anxiously around the small room, his mind racing. He can’t stop thinking about this damn mail—the cheery, oblivious gratitude of a stranger who doesn’t know the havoc she’s unwittingly caused.

He pulls out his phone and opens the app once more to stare at your message, a sick feeling rising in his throat again.

There's no going back now. He's given you the money, and you've thanked him for it. Asking you directly for his money back would be… well, that would be a terrible fucking idea, wouldn't it?

You’d probably think he’d sent the money just to taunt you and take it back, and there’s a good chance you'd end up banning him from your streams entirely.

He rakes his brain relentlessly, trying to find a solution, but there truly isn't much he can do. There’s no way he can just ask for it back—not without looking pathetic or like a complete asshole. He'll just have to ask for longer shifts, endure more sleepless nights and get the damn money back by working his ass off. Damn it.

He locks his phone and drops it onto his bed before heading for the bathroom.

Maybe a shower could help clear his mind.

-

The rest of the day goes by excruciatingly slow. Gyutaro drives Ume to school, attends class after class, but his mind is a thousand miles away. Science, history, English—it’s all background noise, none of it sticking. His thoughts keep drifting back to you, your mail, and the stupid, aching frustration that he still hasn’t figured out what to respond to you.

And then there’s the matter of the name. You want to know his name, and he'd be lying if he said this wasn't messing with his head more than the whole money incident itself.

What could he even say to that? His real name is out of the question, too risky, too personal.

Well. It should be, at least.

But the idea of you addressing him directly, calling him by his own name instead of some meaningless nickname… it’s so damn tempting.

He knows that most people wouldn't overthink it so much. If any of the regulars from your chat received an email like this—something he’s sure has happened before— they'd probably get straight to the point and ask for something specific; for you to say their name while you touch yourself or some other nasty request along those lines.

But Gyutaro is terrified—no, mortified—by the idea of speaking to you directly. He’s always been too nervous to even comment regularly in your chat, so how the hell is he supposed to mail you directly and ask you to do something just for him?

This sounds like absolute hell.

He lets out a heavy sigh. He sits slouched in the back row of his math class, barely aware of the teacher droning on about some equation he couldn’t care less about.

His eyes are glued to the screen of his phone under the desk, the cursor of the blank email draft blinking mockingly at him. He isn't even trying to hide his disinterest in the lesson— his teachers have long since given up on getting him to pay attention. He's just another body in the classroom, as long as he’s quiet and doesn’t cause trouble.

He’d much rather save what little energy he has for his part-time job, where at least he gets paid to do something.

He starts typing, then pauses. His thumb hovers over the keyboard as he reads the words back to himself:

"hi, I'm a huge fan. I was wondering if..." He stops, cringes, and immediately hits backspace.

"hey, I've been watching your streams for a while and I don't really know what to ask for..." He lets out a frustrated tut, trying not to make too much of a fuss. He deletes the whole thing, his fingers trembling slightly.

After a long pause, he starts again:

"dear vixen,”‘Dear Vixen’. Seriously? What’s this, some kind of formal letter? He stares at the empty screen, fingers hovering over the keys but unable to move. Finally, he locks his phone and crosses his arms onto the desk, glancing at the clock before burying his head in them.

Still forty minutes to go.

–

If you ask him, he’d love nothing more than to walk home and collapse into his bed to sleep the rest of the day away, but no. He had to promise Tengen that he would show up for his stupid birthday party.

Not that he gives a damn about what Tengen wants nor does he take orders from him, but he's sick and tired of everyone constantly pestering him about staying in all the time. So, to shut everyone up, he’s reluctantly agreed to go to this party he has zero interest in. At least Ume will be delighted to know he's actually made an effort to leave his room, that's a plus.

But now he’s stuck here, not only dealing with Tengen’s larger-than-life personality but also watching him parade around with his three girlfriends, all of them fawning over him like he's some kind of God or something. Just seeing him bask in all that attention, acting like the center of the universe makes Gyutaro’s skin crawl. God really does have his favorites and he sure as hell isn't one of them.

He makes a beeline for the bar and grabs a drink, more to have something in his hands than out of any real desire. The cup feels cool against his skin as he leans back against a wall, scanning the room with detached interest. People are everywhere—dressed to impress, laughing too loud and clinking glasses like this night is the highlight of their year, and he tries not to grimace when a group of Tengen’s friends spot him. Of course it has to be the Hantengu siblings, those loud, arrogant bastards.

“No way! Look who decided to crawl out of his cave!" Karaku’s voice booms from across the room as he makes his way over, a wide grin plastered on his face. "Didn’t think you’d actually show up, man."

Gyutaro grunts in response, taking a sip of his drink. "Yeah, well… here I am."

Kaigaku props an arm against the wall and leans in a little too close for his liking, his voice dropping into something almost conspiratorial. "You planning on getting lucky tonight?"

Gyutaro just rolls his eyes, but Kaigaku isn't done.

“You seen that chick in the red dress? Bet she'd go for a guy who’s been locked away for too long. They love that brooding look, y’know?" Gyutaro’s jaw tightens, but he doesn't answer. He takes another slow sip from his drink instead, the bitterness of the alcohol grounding him. Karaku leans forward and gestures with his drink, pointing toward another girl across the room. "How about the one over there? She’s been eyeing every guy in here. She'd probably be easy to get alone."

“Like I give a damn.” Gyutaro mutters.

"Oh, come on! Why not?" Karaku pushes, throwing an arm around him with a sly grin. "You’re not gonna score standing in the corner all night, man. Gotta put in some effort."

Gyutaro shrugs off Karaku’s arm with a scowl, the familiar bubbling irritation starting to surface.

“Maybe leave him alone,” Aizetsu chimes in, trying to offer a little mercy. "He’s here, that’s all that matters."

Karaku rolls his eyes and takes a swig from his cup, muttering something about doing it himself before disappearing back into the crowd of people. Aizetsu stays, though, his presence less intrusive. He doesn't say anything more, which Gyutaro appreciates.

As the night dragged on, Gyutaro found himself drinking more than he intended. One cup turned into two, then three, the alcohol numbing the edges of his growing discomfort. If he was going to survive the evening, he needed something to dull the noise—both around him and in his head.

He quickly lost count of how many drinks he’d downed, and by the time the clock hit midnight, he was pleasantly buzzed, his problems momentarily forgotten.

He found himself laughing at Karaku’s stupid jokes, let Tengen hand him another drink, and even managed a casual conversation with strangers he initially didn't care to know.

And, well…

He may or may not have gotten his first blowjob ever.

He’s not entirely sure how it even happened. One moment, he was awkwardly chatting with this girl Sekido introduced to the group—a pretty brunette in a tight black dress with an easy laugh and way too much confidence. Not even his type. She had leaned into him while they talked, her hand brushing his arm now and then, her perfume cutting through the haze of sweat and alcohol in the air. And then, somehow, they’d slipped away from the main party area, her fingers lightly tugging at his hand guiding him to a quiet, shadowed corner of the house.

Gyutaro barely had time to process what was happening when he found himself pressed against a wall, her hands deftly undoing his belt and pants as she knelt down in front of him and started blowing him.

He came embarrassingly fast, and he didn't even get to know the girl’s name before she wiped her mouth and walked away, slipping back into the crowd like nothing had happened. He'd sort of hoped to get her number at least, but he knew not to get his hopes up. She'd probably lost a bet or something — nothing to get excited about.

It was a strange first time for sure, but he's not mad about it.

-

By the time morning comes, Gyutaro is a mess. He's slept maybe an hour or two at most, the alcohol and nicotine from the night before leaving him with a pounding headache and a bitter taste in his mouth.

He's not even sure how he got back home, honestly. His thoughts are totally blacked out.

He drags himself off the couch, his body aching from sleeping in an awkward position. He stumbles into the kitchen, his mind still hazy from the previous night, searching for something - anything - to soothe his pain.

He finds some painkillers in the cabinet, dry-swallowing them before grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. The cold liquid feels soothing on his dry throat, and he takes a few more gulps to try and settle his churning stomach.

He glances at the clock, noticing that he has just enough time to shower and get ready before work. With a sigh, he shuffles into the bathroom, stripping off his rumpled clothes and stepping under the hot spray, letting the water wash away the remnants of the previous night.

His brain won't shut off, though; thoughts tangled between trying to remember the girl’s face from last night and the constant second-hand embarrassment from his own nagging stupidity. But it’s your face that keeps slipping into his mind, uninvited, pulling his thoughts back to the main issue.

He fucked up with that one. Like, seriously fucked up.

It wouldn’t hurt to check if a refund’s possible, right? It wouldn't look good at all on his part, he knows that, but fuck. He made a mistake and he has to do everything he can to fix it.

He dries his hand in his towel nearby and reaches behind the shower curtain to grab his phone. He unlocks it, opens the OnlyFans app and scrolls down, scanning past all your posts and photos until he finally spots a small link labeled "Terms & Conditions".

With a quick tap, the page loads, filling the screen with the detailed policy in plain text.

Terms & Conditions:

Thank you for supporting my content! Before making any purchases or engaging with my services, please carefully read the following terms and conditions regarding refunds.

No Refund Policy: All payments made to me are final and non-refundable. Due to the nature of my content and services, I do not offer refunds for any reason. This includes, but is not limited to, dissatisfaction with content, misunderstandings about services, or personal financial circumstances.

Chargebacks and Disputes: Any attempt to initiate a chargeback or dispute without prior communication will result in an immediate ban from all current and future interactions. I reserve the right to pursue legal action for fraudulent chargebacks.

...And blah, blah, blah.

Well, that's settled. He’s not getting a single cent back. He can't exactly say he’s surprised, but it doesn't make the sting any easier to bear.

A notification pops up. His eyes are drawn to it — expecting another spam email or pointless app alert, but his stomach sinks for the 50th time in the last twenty four hours when he sees what it is; an automatic message from you to all your subscribers.

[Onlyfans] VelvetVixen69: Hey babes 💋 I am now making exclusive erotic audios for you to enjoy anywhere, anytime. Whether you want something soft and sweet or hot and filthy, I’ve got you covered 😉 Listen to me anytime you need a little extra thrill 🔥 The first audio is free.🩷 Stay tuned for more! xoxo Vixen

There's no fucking way. He tells himself, his eyes remaining glued to the screen for a moment too long. His thumb hovers over the screen, hesitating for a second before he swipes left, deleting the notification like it's a bad habit he’s trying to kick. Which, honestly, it is.

But there’s a time for everything. He knows he can't afford to get distracted, and if he dives into it right now, he might be late for work.

Tonight.

He’ll have to check that out tonight, once the house is quiet and he can be alone with your voice and his thoughts.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i think the chapter (250) where kusuo tries to change his timeline so that he doesnt have to tell akechi about his powers and ends up accidentally entering a timeline where hes fucking happy and allowed himself to make genuine connections with his friends is by far the most depressing chapter in the entire manga

he had very limited time before he had to deal with akechi, but i just imagine him sitting curled up at his desk for minutes longer than he shouldve, just staring at nothing because where did he go wrong? how is it possible that there are timelines where he doesnt hate himself? is he jealous of that other him or does he resent him because he knows hes undeserving of the connections the other him apparently allowed himself? both?

i need to know what his relationship with his family is like in that timeline... did something change with them too? or everyone treats him the same but in that timeline he has an actual support system to deal with it? or things are different because he actually stands up for himself and can communicate his needs to his family? FUCKKK.

im not entirely sure of the canonicity of the popularity poll contest chapter (73) but it probably caused a similar mental break, but not nearly as significant because it was WAY before he started truly accepting any love from his friends and family... but yk, it just says a lot about him that ONE traumatic experience changed his entire viewpoint on life but it wasn't anything that happened to HIM, like his brother trying to kill him or his friend betraying him or any of his other near death experiences, NO, it was seeing a dog die. THATS what made him decide to better himself and be kind. so yeah, this chapter prob didnt fuck him up TOO bad but he definitely thought back to it during the akechi chapter...