#Lighting Product Market Size

[collapsedsquid]

I doubt it was predicted or designed, but when the practice emerged of delegating industrial policy to local governments, China invented a structural form of antitrust. The central state declares what industries are to be favored, and then many localities toss contenders into the ring. The unsurprising result is competition. At the national level, with astonishing speed, industries with world-class competences emerge, even when — especially when — no "national champion" comes to dominate. Great industries are what a nation wants, not great firms. Firms are just the players. They perform extraordinary feats, and we cheer them, but they come and go. The industry is the league. It is what endures and delivers decade after decade. A decade ago China did not produce electric vehicles. Now it is the world leader. It is the same story with batteries, solar panels, steel. In the US, we tend to provide government support to established national champions, Boeing perhaps, or Intel. How is that working for us? Large consolidated firms become specialists in exploiting market power and political influence rather than any technical facet of production. What if we financed state governments to field local heroes and compete in the big leagues? It boggles the American imagination to think that medium-sized, US-state-level enterprises could compete in high-tech, capital-intensive industries. But isn't China's experience an existence proof? Shouldn't the share-buyback-heavy, technical-achievement-light experience of firms like Boeing and Intel chasten our conventional wisdom?

Must do socialism so we have intense competition between the Colorado smartphone and the Massachusetts smartphone

[02chois]

MISSED YOUR TOUCH

pairing: ex-boyfriend! soobin x fem! reader

summary: bumping into your ex was the last thing you had expected today. but you never would have thought that encounter will bring you back together stronger than ever.

word count: 3.2k words

content warnings: porn with (little) plot, profanity, big dick soobin, light size kink, soft dom! soobin, sub! reader, usage of pet names like sweetheart and princess, inaccurate way of knitting (I tried making it realistic ok)

author's note: my entry into the smut section of moaland in this site. I tried my best I hope you like it <3

Snow.

Snow danced in the light, a choreographed ballet conducted by the gentle wind. As you watched your eyes grew a tiny bit wider, as open as when you were but a child who saw snow for the first time.

You shoved your mittened hands into the pockets of your coat and continued walking, bright eyes wandered around the street. You watched as snow slowly fell upon the park bench as if it were a feather cushion, soft and warm. It covers the rich, deep wood in perfect white.

The market turned out to be filled with people shopping for gifts and trinkets to decorate their homes with. You hadn't expected it to be this crowded early in the morning—well, early in the afternoon. You made a beeline to the store between familiar fruit stands. The crunching of snow underneath your feet filled your ears as you walked, hurriedly opening the mahogany door and soon greeted by a wind chime hanging on top as you stepped inside.

Your shoulders relaxed, the warmth enveloping your trembling body. It was such a relief that the quaint shop has a fireplace near the registrar and it was enough to warm up the entire place.

You brushed the excess snow caught on your coat right before you made your way to one of the aisles. You searched the label for the basket with yarn written across it, then your gaze darted from one to the next. But to no avail you couldn't find it no matter how much you looked around.

You went to another aisle and at that moment you froze. Your eyes landed upon a familiar blond haired man, his tall frame towering over a small basket filled with colorful yarn.

"Soobin…?"

You were about to turn on your heel when the wooden floorboard squeaked beneath your feet, you looked up only to be met by those eyes of his. His lips slightly ajar from shock.

You locked eyes for a moment and stood there in silence. The faint sound of the crackling fire from the fireplace filled the room.

Soobin's gaze lingered on your face as if he were trying to memorize every single detail. You could feel the heat rising up to your cheeks right under his scrutiny. Why does he have to stare so intensely?

"Um… do you—do you need any help?" You spoke up, your voice soft and could be mistaken as a whisper. "What are you looking for?"

You were sure that your stutter had vanished long ago, yet you found yourself stuttering in front of your ex-boyfriend. He changed. A lot actually. You share the same friend group and because of that you often see each other whenever they gather in one place after your break up, but oftentimes, you'd only greet each other with a polite bow, or on rare occasions give each other a polite smile. Aside from those greetings they've barely spoken to each other as the two of you try and avoid the awkward situations between exes.

He gave you a small smile then turned his head to the basket, his right hand holding a small ball of yarn. "I can't find a specific yarn."

You stepped forward and kneeled on the wooden floor right in front of the basket. You looked up and gestured to him, he responded by lowering himself alongside you. He was so close he could smell the scent of your hair products. Peaches. He used to really love this scent.

"The one you have seemed to be used already." You held up a larger red ball of yarn like an offering. "This will be better to use rather than what you have right now. It will allow you to create longer scarves or…"

You cleared your throat and Soobin watched as you handed him the yarn. You caught his eyes and averted your gaze. "I'm sorry. I'm talking too much."

Soobin placed the smaller yarn with the others and shook his head. "Don't be! I'd like to learn more."

He was being a little too polite. You're not used to the way he spoke so formally towards you, mostly compared to those times when he teased you. You couldn't help but smile at the thought. You missed him a lot.

From your kneeling position, you gently rose to your feet and turned to face the other shelf that had knitting needles. They vary in sizes, types of wood, and some are separated to a different group of knitting pins. Personally, you prefer the wooden pins.

"You'll need a pair of knitting pins for you to start. What size would you like to have?" You turned to him with a pair in hand, showing him the same pins you had at home.

"What do you recommend?"

His question was short and sweet. You purse your lips into a pout, your eyes trailed down to the pair of pins you had in hand. If you don't know what he's planning to knit, you wouldn't know what size would be a good fit for him.

"Ah, Soobin, what will you be knitting? The size of the needles affects the length of the stitches and thus your finished product. It's important to think hard about the needles you'll be getting."

Soobin remained silent for a short while before turning his gaze away to think. You watched him with great curiosity. What will my beloved make? You wondered. Wait… beloved?

"A scarf sounds like it would be the easiest." He said, maintaining eye contact with you the entire time to observe how you react. He determined that his suggestion was a suitable garment to make when he noticed how your eyes softened.

Before turning your attention back to the shelf in front, you nodded and gave him a small smile. "Scarves are the perfect first knitting projects for a beginner. They're easy to make and do not require any difficult stitching techniques."

"I'm still a beginner. What do you suggest we do?" Soobin finally asked, implying something from his choice of words.

You mulled over his words. "Well… I can offer you my assistance in knitting. It's difficult to start without any guidance."

"That'll be lovely."

You smiled and followed him to the counter.

You opened the door and stood aside to let him in, the kitchen welcomed him immediately as soon as he stepped inside. A small potted plant sat on the island countertop along with several herbs and spices, some condiments stored with them, and a bowl of fresh fruit at the side. Other plants were tucked in different places. On your hanging pot holder, you hung only about two utensils, the rest were ropes of garlic and bean sprouts in small plastic bags. Your refrigerator contained three small magnets; a sunflower, basket, and rice cakes. Soobin felt at home and he was glad to be back.

He stood there while you closed the door, then removed your winter boots and set them aside in the shoe rack. As you led him inside a large window that sat across the small living room greeted him, and there a single sunflower faced the sun. A small round table was right next to the window accompanied by cushioned chairs that sat across from each other. The scattered knitting supplies on the table drew his attention, there an unfinished red scarf laid there. The stitches were clean, professional, and clearly the work of skilled hands.

He slid beneath the thick cover of the table, exhaling a sigh of relief as the heater stopped the chill from trying to run up his spine.

"I'll prepare some warm drinks."

"Thank you." Soobin murmured.

Your lips quirked at his words. You went to one of the cupboards to pull out a jar of hot chocolate powder, it was half empty. You took a mental note to restock soon. You fill the mugs with hot water and the powder before setting it in front of Soobin and your other end of the table. You placed your unfinished scarf and the knitting materials on top of the table and motioned for Soobin to do the same.

Soobin watched you. He fixed his gaze on your hands, trying to mimic the way she handled the knitting needles. His left hand was tense as he moved, his brows furrowed, and his lips formed a deep frown. His fingers carefully applied enough pressure to the needles to allow him to hold it with ease. Curious to see how you would react, he looked up from his hands.

You were watching his every move. You gave him a small nod in approval as you felt his gaze on you.

"Good. That's a nice start."

He smiled at your words and, using the only knitting procedure he was familiar with, tied a knot with the yarn around the end of his needle.

You followed suit by enclosing your fingers around the yarn and wrapping it around your thumb. You looked at his work to decide whether or not to continue, slipped the tip of the needle into the loop you had created, and drew the yarn back to firmly fasten it. Although his left hand had some difficulty with the delicate yet complex movements, he was a fast learner. He's stubborn enough to overlook his left hand acting up, which is a relief to you. Though had you ever questioned him about his decision to take up knitting?

"Repeat these steps until the scarf is your desired width, and then we'll start casting on so you can start adding length to it."

You turned your attention to his face; his pretty lips formed into a pout and his brows were furrowed. He looked so adorable. Soobin continued, his eyes serious and focused, his fingers moving slowly but meticulously.

No one ventured to strike up a conversation as the room was filled with the subtle humming of the heater and the sound of fabric shuffling as their arms moved. You didn't feel the need to initiate any conversations with him, which is something Soobin appreciated because he preferred to keep to himself over awkward exchanges.

You put the example aside to continue knitting the red scarf you had put away for so long. Lately, you hadn't felt like continuing the scarf. While you neglected the scarf, the same thought plagued her mind, but Yeonjun's advice this morning gave you a little motivation to carry on. You just so happened to meet Soobin at the store, but it was only now that you realized you had forgotten to purchase a second ball of yarn because of your sudden encounter with your ex-boyfriend. You'll try to visit again tomorrow.

Your mind began to drift. You have doubts that he'd return your feelings. The last time Soobin spoke to you was a year ago and the fact that he was back definitely surprised you. If you knew what he would say, why did you make this scarf in the first place? It was only a bridge you will use to start a conversation and hope that Soobin will entertain the idea of getting back together. But the chances of him wanting to be with her again is low.

He might see you as a friend now, yet you still hold onto that small hope that he might see you the way he used to a year ago. Your break up was abrupt, after all.

Why does love have to be so difficult?

You sighed and tightened your grip around the needles. Soobin across from you briefly took a glance at you, pausing what he was doing.

Soobin took the initiative to push your mug after noticing that you were preoccupied with your thoughts. He brought the needles down, the sound of wood hitting wood shook you out of your reverie. You lowered your gaze, your gaze followed the movement of his hand. He carefully pushed the mug in front of her again.

"You should drink."

Soobin appeared to have finished the first section of his work, the width wasn't too wide nor too small. It was the perfect amount of thickness for a scarf. He was waiting for your next instructions.

"Thank you," you murmured.

"I missed you," Soobin suddenly spoke up. "I missed you so much that I still keep our photos even after we parted. I can't forget you and I don't allow myself to do so."

You lowered the mug that you were about to drink into, and so you slowly put it down on the table. You're careful as the drink was still hot and you don't want to get everything onto the blanket. The confusion was visible across your face as you were not sure how to react to his words. It was the thing you were getting worried about a while ago.

"I'm so glad that we ran into that store earlier. I knew that you like knitting and I hoped that I could see you again if I came there, and I did see you. I want us to talk about our relationship and just… just ask if you want us to be—"

"—In a relationship again?" You cut him off.

And this time Soobin remained quiet. He gave you a small nod, and there you saw a glint of hope in his eyes.

"I missed you too."

You're not sure how you ended up on his lap. The conversation was quickly thrown out of the window and you were immediately on him as soon as the both of you had given permission to touch each other. He had his hands all over your body, his voice low as he repeatedly whispered missed you so, so much with his lips latched onto your hot skin.

Soobin pulled away from your neck to look at you, his lips curled into a smile as he let out a breathless laugh. "A year. It's been a year and I want you so bad."

"Can I kiss you?" Soobin asked and you gave him a low yes with the voice you have left. That was all he needed before he leaned forward to kiss you.

He wanted to devour you. A moan threatened to leave his lips at the feeling of those plush lips of yours, trying to press himself more against you that left you whimpering. He wants to feel you more against him, to feel your skin on his and your hands on his body. His free hand gripped your thighs, his nails digging into your jeans clad thighs in desperation. He was trying to get a taste of you as much as he could, enough to make up for the year you've been separated. He could feel your thighs shaking underneath his palms.

When the two of you broke away from the kiss, a string of spit was connecting your lips. You quickly made a quick work of your pants and unzipped them, the soft shade of your panties greeting him. He helped you with your pants as you stood in front of him and pulled them away from you, tossing your pants somewhere around the room. You didn't have the patience to move to your bedroom and the curtains were not opened that wide anyway. No one will see.

He unzipped his own pants and pulled them down to his mid thighs and quickly you sat on his lap and straddled him with your legs on either side of his hips. You had your hands on his shoulders for support and pressed yourself further to his growing bulge. A sight left your lips from the contact, but then his hands got a hold of your hips and began to move you against him, earning a surprised moan from you. He was breathing heavily and he needed more than this right now. But he wants to satisfy you, and so he entertains what you want.

His gaze was focused on the way your hips moved, his bottom lip between his teeth. He moved his hips upwards, amused when you moaned from the friction against your clit. He could feel the wet patch from your panties on his underwear. You're so wet and you haven't even noticed the mess you've made.

He timed his pace with yours, feeling a bit generous for you tonight. "Did you miss me that much, hm?" You leaned down and hid your face in the crook of his neck, shying away from his question. "You're so cute. I miss the way you look whenever you're so desperate for me, and I love the way you make me feel so wanted. Fuck, I love you so much."

He turned his head, his lips close to your ears. "What do you want me to do to you?" His voice was hushed, breathy and lower than usual, and it sent a pleasurable tingle throughout your body. It's been a year since you've taken him, the mere thought of having him inside you had you clenching around nothing. God, he's so big and you're not even sure if he could still fit inside you. And yet you still want to feel his cum inside you, to feel it slide between your thighs, you want him to fuck you and ruin you 'till sundown.

His arms were now around your waist, roughly grinding his hips against yours to get a reaction out of you."I asked you a question, sweetheart." He knew that you loved his lower register so much and he had to take advantage of that weakness.

"Fuck me. Please Soobin." You whined, shifting your hips and felt him thrust his hips against you. The outline of his cock sent you into overdrive, desperate to put it inside you, you brought your hand between your bodies and under his boxers' waistband. He cursed as he felt your cold fingertips wrap around the tip of his cock, slowly spreading the bead of pre-cum around his tip. "Need you so, so much." You coo, muffling your voice on his hoodie.

Soobin pressed his lips on your neck, pulling your hips upwards to move your panties aside. His other hand pushing his boxers down to his thighs, pumping his cock before pushing you down against him. You sink down on him all the way, he was impossibly deep in this position, stuffed full and slick from your juices. You didn't expect yourself to take him in that easily despite his size. Your pizza was that eager to have him again, but the sting was still there as you stayed still to breathe.

"Shit… you're so tight for me." He groaned, barely hanging on. You wrapped your arms around his neck, clenching around his length as your legs failed you. A shaky breath escaped your lips when he began to grind his hips against yours, taking you to another level of deep, releasing a choked moan from your throat.

You tried to move, your ass bouncing on his thighs as you brought yourself up and pushed yourself down until he was buried deeply inside. "I want you to fuck me until you can't anymore, want you to cum in me. Please."

Soobin let out a breathy laugh, his chest heaving from breathing heavily. You felt heavenly around him.

"Anything for you, princess."

[romchat]

In Blossom visual analysis (ep. 1-7): How to film a gothic romance

Although I'm not completely convinced about some of the writing choices of In Blossom, I absolutely LOVE the show's production design and cinematography. @mademoiselle-red wrote a great post about how main character Pan Yue fits the gothic romantic lead archetype, and those gothic elements are not only present in the script but also in the show's visual storytelling.

Lighting

A key element of gothic romance is its atmosphere of mystery and suspense.

Something I really like about In Blossom is that despite its dark subject matter, many of its scenes take place during the day. One of the show's main themes is that appearances can be misleading and the cinematography often plays with that notion by linking light to deception and darkness to truth. Note how many of the emotionally honest beats of Yang Caiwei and Pan Yue's relationship happen at night (e.g., their couple escapades at the Li Residence, Ghost Market, and Life and Death gambling house) while fakery, corruption, and evildoing happen in the day. It's with this subversion of our expectations for light that the show creates an unsettling atmosphere.

And these lighting choices also help set up Pan Yue as a classic gothic romance anti-hero, someone the female lead, Yang Caiwei, fears but still finds herself drawn to.

Look at how Pan Yue is lit when shot through Yang Caiwei's subjective point of view. The strong use of light creates a lot of contrast--through her eyes, he is a mixture of light and dark, his morality as inscrutable as his shadowy figure.

Camera Angles and Shot Sizes

The show's use of low angles and close-ups further reinforces the idea that Pan Yue is unpredictable and even dangerous.

In cinematography, low-angle shots tend to make the subject look more powerful and menacing, and the show uses this technique to great effect.

Even in the intimacy of close-up shots, we can sense the threat emanating from Pan Yue. He’s always shot just a smidgeon too close for comfort.

For example, look at how much Liu Xueyi's face fills the frame in an early "romantic" scene. The shot feels almost claustrophobic as if he's so single-minded about his goals that he has no choice but to dominate the frame (and Yang Caiwei). It's an unnerving moment despite the soft words coming out of his mouth.

Side Note: I live for Pan Yue's (vampiric) long shots. The production design team was smart for dressing the character in dark clothes with such a sleek cut and drape--he looks like a sexy bat.

The Nosferatu references in Yang Caiwei's tomb are also perfect.

Composition and Framing

And finally, like any good gothic romance, In Blossom illustrates how love can drive one to despair and even madness.

Because of this, my FAVORITE scene of the show has to be the introduction of Shangguan Zhi. Her obsessive pursuit of beauty in hopes of seducing Pan Yue has left her a shell of a human being, and the scene's composition perfectly encapsulates this with how it focuses on the elegant lines of her body--not her face or personhood.

Shangguan Zhi is trapped by her delusional fantasy of a life with Pan Yue--see how she's boxed in by the vertical lines of the screen panel she admires--and the show regularly uses architectural lines to show how her desperation has trapped Yang Caiwei as well.

[simp-ly-writes]

Friend of the Captain (pt.3)

Pairing: Edward "Eddie" Horniman x afab!Reader

Summary: Fate keeps pulling its strings, but your's and Eddies appear to be drifting further and further apart- only to see one another at weddings or funerals. But maybe one day, luck will be in your side and then something beautiful can flourish (with a side of cash, of course).

Warnings: 5000~ words, language and light teasing, angst (emotional, alcohol and drug usage, dark thoughts) to fluff, jealousy, and pining (of course).

A/N: Apologies for the wait everyone! A few timings changed but I need plot- okay.

Masterlist | Taglist Request | somewhat un-edited.

(pt.1) (pt.2) (pt.3)

↳ "...you're the best friend I could have ever asked for," your words stung, shattering Eddie's heart beyond repair as his face twitched before hiding it in your palm. He made a promise as a child, to always have you in his life yet even as you got closer together, the more he realized how far apart your both were as that moment became a mere distant memory. Eddie was needy for more yet you had already packed up your bags, closed the estate for the summer and went off to find new inspiration worldwide.

↳ He ended up reading a few of the gossip articles his mother left on the coffee table one morning, hot pink, zoomed in features and question marks galore as you walked around in beach wear with another man on your arm. He gripped the magazine, throwing it back on the table before packing his bags and returning back to base.

↳ When Christmas came around once again, you were not at the estate- a newfound tradition it seemed yet your gifts were still left under the tree, perfectly wrapped with each Horniman getting a gift. Eddie looked at the professionally wrapped gift, chuckling to himself at the childish wrapping paper you always insisted on using. This Christmas it was a bunch of little green cars with elf's behind the wheel.

Tearing into the gift, Eddie pauses as he slowly turns the box open to find a custom engraved watch. Flipping it backwards, his finger traces over the engraving- "Always." His mother peers over his shoulder, smiling from ear to ear as she inspects the jewelry. "I'm jealous, Edward," she teases, as Charlotte mockingly coo's- loving as her brother's cheeks paint themselves a pinkish hue. Freddy is already drowning himself in the new bottle of liquor your most recent boyfriend was the owner of its production before Tammy demands her own fair share of the drink.

--

↳ More years had passed and it was September already. You had yet to go back to dating, stepping away from romance scene at the current news that rocked your world, sending you crashing towards the floor as you fell into your office chair. Gripping your hair, tears streamed endlessly from your eyes as one of your assistants rapidly books the private jet back home to England- both of your parents were just announced dead to the public before you had known privately.

They were on a charity meeting with local schools and had crashed in their helicopter- dying instantly. You felt sick, seeing their bodies broadcasted over live television, smoke exiting from the aircraft as you lunged towards the toilets and threw up your lunch. "The plane has been booked, ma'am," your assistant calls from behind the door as you dress in full black and head towards the airstrip.

↳ You were surprised to find a series of reporters already waiting for you on the runway. Putting on your newest mock-design of sunglasses- it was going to be your first break into another market. Lights flashed in your face, hands racing to pull you into their microphones and endless questions yet the airport staff were not trained for a mob of this size.

They bursted through, making you fall towards the ground as you curled up into a ball- doing your best to avoid being trampled further. You quickly worked your hands through your pockets, clicking the power button thrice in quick succession as your first emergency contact was called and before you knew it- Freddy and Tammy were bursting through the crowd, fists raised as reporters fled the scene.

They were dressed in head to toe in black, ready to take you back towards your family's estate and to the funeral. You stood at the front, head tipped low as your flowing black dress drifted in the crisp cold air. It clung to your bones, finding any skin you had yet to hide as you silently cried, head leaning towards Charlottes already waiting presence as she whispered her condolences to you before pulling away.

You blinked rapidly, doing your best to dry your cheeks as a warm body at your back had you raising an eyebrow, especially when their arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you into a strong hug as your skin became tickled by their stubble. "I came as soon as I could," Eddie spoke over the wind, watching as everyone started making their way towards their cars as light rainfall began to come down.

You turned yourself around in his arms, cries turning into laughter as you shook your head into his shoulder, hands gripping the fabric of his suit, threatening to tear it apart just as you forced yourselves apart. You shook your head, taking another step back as you continued to laugh, Eddie took a large stride forward, head lowering in worry- trying to catch your eyes as your hair began to fall over your face. Taking a sharp sniffle you spoke in even tones, "We only see each other at weddings or funerals, Edward."

"Darling I-" you hold up a hand, shaking your head once more as you take another step back, Eddie moves forward as you dance around one another, rain falling heavier as you walk yourself under a tree canopy. "I made a promise to my father years ago, he wanted me to stop talking with you- begged me on his deathbed that I was unknowing of recently. I made a compromise of being friends yet... If these are the times we find each... Edward I-"

"Please, don't call me Edward," Eddie cuts you off, heart racing as he processes the information you speak. I always knew that old man hated me from the start, business over pleasure any day of the week, Eddie thought to himself. Hands now grasping your shaking shoulders as you can't support yourself with the overwhelming grief- falling forward into his arms. "Eddie," you whisper out in a pleading tone yet unknowing of what you wanted.

Before you both could think further on the subject, your lawyers were demanding of your presence to sign the papers, as the only child of your parents. You were the Duchess of the estate now as the endless sea of documents and hearings suggested. And those small hugs and words sat still underneath that tree, rooted in place as Eddie got called back to work and in the trauma of it all, you were glad everyone left- wanted everyone to leave you alone.

The cameras everywhere started to become too much, the people constantly checking in- tip-toeing around you, as if you would break with their soft tones and bittersweet, pity-filled smiles that mocked the constant aching of your heart and mind. Articles floated around, showing old pictures, telling the world of how you were living the high life with dead money but you had money, you had fame, before this all and now, you wanted to escape it all.

--

↳ That man you were with was an old picture, that boat party was in early spring and that engagement ring was false news as you threw your phone across the room as it shattered against the tiles. In reality you were sat in your bathtub, barley breathing above the water. You have been feeling an overwhelming numbness in your present and soon enough, you were pulling at everything to just FEEL something these days.

Looking down at your hand, the family crest engraved ring upon your finger sat heavy as you came to realize what such titles costed. Someone was yelling your name from the other side of the door, pounding against the heavy wood as you sunk under, watching the bubbles of your breath break the surface of the water above.

You close your eyes, emptying your lungs before coming back up to the surface and clearing the hair from your eyes. You drain the tub, wet feet pattering against the marble floors and towards the vanity- your gear already waiting for you as you got strapped in and flung the door open.

↳ Determine to FEEL you tested drugs, tested alcohol but they both lost their kick. You tried sleeping around again yet could never get off, so you drove down country streets as fast as you could, jumped out of planes, flung yourself off cliffs and climbed up mountains.

↳ Your business was running in the background as you let it run itself. You sent all the staff home for the remainder of the year with their wages at the estate as you walked the line between fear and adrenaline.

↳ Sabrina had called you after receiving news of you being in the hospital. You had fractured your shoulder from a skiing incident, you smiled through the drugs, holding a thumbs up for the picture as she cried at the image. You looked so lifeless with those eyes, your skin appearing grey as a walking corpse yet you could care less. People still wanted to sleep with you, to "live that high life" and you allowed them to just as every paper told you to.

↳ What surprised you was seeing Freddy out of all people telling you off by your bedside. Tammy nowhere to be seen as he gripped your hand- pleading. You look at him blankly in the eyes, almost falling asleep to what you have heard a thousand times before. Yet there is one question that catches you off guard, your neck straining as you quickly look away to hide the tears beginning to stream down your face.

"W-What would Eddie think of you right now? He's off somewhere, probably getting shot at- thinkin' that his job was ensuringhis girl is safe at home. What a fuckin' joke (name), if you are gonna listen to anything I say, know that you are a joke- and thats coming from the definition of it."

You shake your head, now playing with the various cords in your hands, threatening to rip them out as you choke back a sob. "I'm sorry, Freddy, I'm so sorry for being such a fuckin' mess," you sputter between your lips, taking shallow breaths as your heart monitor rapidly beeps, nurses running into the room as Freddy stands up from his seat as positions himself at the foot of your bed.

"Yeah, well saying you are is a great step, now make something of it because I can't deal with all these crying people. Fathers health is gone- I think this is it..."

--

↳ Under a year later, Eddies father had passed. You remember never driving more of a wildly than then down the country roads, almost clipping a gate in the process as you opened the door with your own key. Staggering into the new dukes office and sitting by the fire once more as you held his head in your lap, he clenched onto your waist- crying before a knock at the door had him switching back off, hardened exterior as if nothing happened.

↳ You stood up quickly, brushing off your clothes and nodded to him with pained eyes and shaking hands. Your heart burned, wanting to help yet the hollowed look he sent you with the tip of his head was enough to have you swiftly out the door and here you were, dressed in black again as Eddie stood beside you, face hardened while carrying his father to the hole in the ground and while making no move to touch you. You stepped a bit closer to his side once seeing the woman from across the fence looking intently at you both, please make it not be another reporter.

↳ Eddie folded, wrapping an arm around your torso as he pulled you under his long coat- thinking you to be cold as you gripped his hip, turning your head away from their stares and whispered a prayer, setting your bundle of flowers against the grave as Eddie make his own remarks. You both going inside the home.

↳ Sabrina openly sobbed into your shoulder, this is the first time she had seen you since your most recent accident as she whispered in your ear, albeit a bit loudly- perhaps on purpose as Eddie's head snapped over to the both of you- pausing his conversation with Tammy. "I am so thankful that you are alive."

"Why wouldn't they be, mother?" Edward questions, looking between you both with the most remorse he has shown today. Your eyes snap down to his wrist as he plays with the watch you gifted him a few holidays ago. "I don't think this is my thing to speak about, Edward." And with that, she picks up her drink and strides over to the table as the lawyer stands, emptying various files from their brief case to the table.

Memories flash through your minds before Eddie holds your hand, you intertwine your fingers together, giving it a light swing while being unable to look at him in the eyes as you play with the ring on his finger. "I lost myself, Eddie. I-I'm still a bit lost really... I'm getting better- promise just, I fucked up."

"Hey, look at me, darling, look at me, (name)," Edward calls out to you, using his other hand to pick up your chin as you blink away tears. He presses a kiss to your forehead, using a soft tone, "and we will find you again, promise."

↳ Eddie was later pulled away from you as you made your silent escape and exited the room, Eddie becoming drowned in those all-too-familiar papers. You were un-noticing to Sabrinas thoughtful look as you exited the house just as fate would have it for the two of you, so close yet ever-so far.

Geoff was already standing by the front door, tipping his hat towards you as you playfully bowed back- engine roaring back to life as he knocked on your window. Rolling it down with a charming smile, "Everythin' alright Geoff?"

"Yes, my Lady. Just curious- you're not stayin'?"

"Oh... no... I think... never mind," you stutter, smile fluttering as he hums out in reply. "We hope to see you around more often your grace, mother misses you like her own," you nod politely, "I will do my best to then," you state before rolling back up your window and rolling out back down those country roads.

↳ That day Edward Horniman was established as the Duke of Halstead. The news once again meeting your phone screen rather than the word of those close to you.

--

↳ You wish you could say that you saw one another right after that, but after you made a spontaneous visit to the Halstead manor. The staff members look panicked as they speedily greeted you and tried to move you towards the seating room as you shook them off. Placing your bags by the door before walking further down the hall and towards the office. You looked through the french doors, heart dropping as that woman you had seen earlier flashed Eddie a charming grin.

Sabrina clapped her hands joyfully at whatever had been said as childish jealousy ran rampant in your chest. You glared at the woman, her face tilted away from yours, everyone unknowing of your presence before you walked calmly back down the hall. Picking up your bags with your head held high, the various staff members chased after you, "How about you stay for tea miss? Oh, I'm sure the Duke will be overjoyed to have you stay, Could I bring you bags upstairs for you?"

You sent everyone a small sad smile, their heads dropping down as they silently understood your decision. You dropped your bags back into the boot of your car, slamming the door close as you drove back down the gravel roads. Luna chasing after your car with a wagging tail.

Edwards meeting had finished as he dismissed everyone from the room, standing while taking a sip of his tea- his heart lunged forwards at the sight of your car driving away. He hastily placed his drink down, running down the stairs as his mother called out to him, warning him of the cold weather that morning yet as he opened the door, he could no longer see your car and that door shut just as quickly.

--

↳ You would try again to see Eddie, yet that woman was always seen right beside him. There was some dark part of you that hoped Eddie would never go back to dating, that you could be selfish yet it would be unfair as you had done your fair share of it. Unknowing to the pain Eddie kept to himself seeing you so happy with someone else. It seemed to him the only times he ever got to see you was when it rained and rained it did.

↳ You took a ride around the estate, really both of your estates since no formal fences were placed. You strode over the overside of the pond, eyes squinted at the sight of the woman once more falling in step with Eddie as Luna raced between their feet. You continued your ride, looking up to the grey gloomy skies with distaste and the next moment you looked back across, they all were gone - if just by your imagination.

--

↳ You were dressed to the nines, a flowing emerald gown drifting off each curve of your body, emphasizing your natural features as you swirled around the crowds of hungry business men and jealous wives as you picked up a champagne glass from a walking tray and returned to Mr. Johnston's side.

↳ A hand written and delivered invitation graced your doorstep, too tempting to refuse- it had been sometime since you last stepped into the spotlight and done yourself up, and so you went all out. You showcased your newest jewellery line- finally finding more inspiration the more times you reminisced around your inherited property.

↳ A rather bizarre relationship you held with Mr. Johnston as well, as he had tried to purchase your land yet smiled and waved away his deal like a fleeting thought. Mr. Johnston have given you many expensive gifts since them to keep your company with him- adoring your intelligence in everything accessory or business related as you reviewed materials for him as a side-gig and token of friendship

↳ You swayed lightly to the music as he introduced to you hundreds of faces, beyond impressed that me managed to remember the names and family connections of them all. You smiled politely, kissing cheeks and making small talk before being led to the next person, ignoring the stares as they watched you from behind- gown drifting away with you.

↳ Much to your surprise, you were being introduced to the Duke of Halstead himself yet for once you were not most interested in Eddie but the woman that stood ever-so elegantly by his side.

"Susie Glass, its an honour your grace," she said politely, red lipstick curving up into a small smile as you shook hands lightly, swiftly dropping your connection before Eddie picked up your hand, pressing a delicate kiss to the back of it. You both maintained eye-contact as he did so, never wavering before Johnston coughed, and you tipped your head down, a smile fighting against your lips as did Eddies.

With your gaze down, you ignored the rather pushing tones of both parties, focused on the small red liquid, is that blood?, starting to form at the edge of Eddie's shirt. You shifted your weight to stand closer to him, starting to open your mouth to question before Mr. Johnston was calling your name.

"You never told me, duchess that you and the duke had grown up together, what a wonderful sight to see two friends reconnecting. If you will Ms. Glass, I think we should allow them so time to reunite," Johnston comments, eyeing the closing distance between yours and Eddies forms as you blink a thanks to him as he leads Susie towards the bar.

"Is there something you wish to tell me, your grace?" you tease out, hands drifting up his chest to fix his jacket. You hold him there as his eyes quickly flash down to your lips and back up towards your eyes. Your head tilting, well that has changed....

"Can I not admire the dress? It has been some time since we have last seen each other like this. What was it, when we were 20-something?" You instantly remember that night, cheeks a hard red as you blindly follow Eddie down the hall and into an empty room, the door clicks locked as you become lost in the memory.

--

Eddie had pushed you up against a wall, the paintings swinging almost off their nails as your own scraped against his roots, ensuring that yours lips stayed on one another in a passionate kiss. The shoulder of your dress began to fall as did Eddie's lips, trailing down your chin, to your throat where he sucked a bruise as you softly moaned in his ear.

It was so wrong, you had a boyfriend waiting for you back at university, it was your childhood best friend- the one you promised your father never to be with and yet as he picked you up, hands feeling up your dress and pushed you onto a bed. It never felt so right.

Eddie climbed on top of you, smashing his lips onto your own once more as you whimpered and moaned as he chuckled, shushing you lighting before continuing his attack. You began to unbuttoned his shirt. Nails working down his abs as you smirked to the sound of his breath hitching as you created your own markings to his neck.

Nothing more ever came from your heated make-out sessions or hook-ups. Always resulting in being, "good friends" with one another who needed help...

"Everything alright there, darling?" Eddies baritone voice pulled you out of the memory as you his chest pressed flat against your bare back where your dress dripped. His hands on your hips, his head on your shoulder as you both swayed back and forth lightly.

You pick your hand up, placing it on top of his hands on your waist, circling around each bloody knuckle with concern. "What have you not been telling me, Eddie?" that you love me, your brain pleads to finish for him yet you hold your tongue, bitting your lip from saying anything more.

Eddie hums deeply into your ear as goosebumps coat over your skin, gods you feel like such a horny teenager. But to be fair, that would be the last time you were romantically involved. "I think I will need a few more drinks before I become an open book but, I have been busy in managing my fathers... businesses."

You step away from his touch, gathering distance, eyes firm, "I know what your family does, Edward. Longer than you apparently. I believe it to be the reason why my father never wanted me settling with someone like you-"

"Someone like me?" Eddie challenges. "Do you even have the faintest idea of what Mr. Johnston has done, what your previous boyfriends have done?-"

"Yes, I do. And that should make you understand why I still decide to come back to you, after everything," you finish with, taking a seat in one of the empty chairs by an unlit fireplace as Eddie stands in front of you, undoing his jacket with a hiss as you tut him off in a posh tone.

"Why, Edward-dear, it appears you are the one learning new ideas, would you like some help with that?" You tease out, watching as his shirt turns a deeper red. Edwards rolls his eyes playfully at you as you drink up the sight of this beautiful man, even when bleeding and threatening to stain the designer rug underneath you both.

You kneel lean forward, slowly unbuttoning his shirt as Eddie un-do's his bowtie, it hangs off his shoulders as you dress the wound with the supplies sat conveniently waiting on a nearby shelf. "Arms up now, captain," you playfully command as Eddie complies.

"Never knew you to be such a bossy one," Edward sarcastically comments, looking down at the top of your head fondly. You look up at him through your lashes, blinking twice before continuing your work. "And I never knew you to be bedding your associates-"

A knock at the door sounds as Eddies delicate look before a glare, enforcing that you both would speak about the topic later as you wipe your hands and lean back in the chair, smiling at the women as Eddie leans down, pressing a kiss to your cheek in thanks as he straightens his clothes out.

"Hello, Susan," the Duke greets the once mysterious lady as you look between the two of them, jealousy brewing in your stomach once more, your hands itching to hold on to some part of Eddie once more. "What have you done to him, duchess?" Susie asks you, hands presses and leaning forwards against the back of a chair opposite of yours.

You smile gracefully at the woman, beginning to stand yet as you approach her, Eddie softly grasps your wrist, holding you in place. "Well, by the looks of it. He has been shot- what have you been doing with him, Susie?" you fire back.

"Nothing-"

"Really then?" you cut her off with a scoff as you wiggle your hand from Eddies grasp, moving towards the door, you can hear multiple people moving in the hallway as you curse out, your dress spotted with blood. "Alright then, I think it's time for a sharing circle then..."

--

"You killed a man?" you ask calmly as Eddie slowly nods his head. "That was something I did- yes-"

"and by the sounds of it, it will not be your last... or hers..." you reply, head leaned into your hand as you found yourself seated once more. The party-goers were dying by the hour as you all soon made your speedy walks back towards your cars.

--

You joined Eddie that night, helping to redress the wound, dress him for the night, pouring you both another few drinks before pulling him into bed. What surprised you most was his tight grip on your waist as he pulled you down beside him. "Eddie I am not dressed for bed," you spoke softly, not wishing to awake anyone near.

"Sleep naked, wouldn't be the first time-"

You covered his mouth with your hand, shaking it away as he gave it a playful kiss. You heart lunged at the memory of a moment similar to this when you had just been cheated on. Yet you ultimately decide to make yourself comfortable, just as the last, kicking off your shoes but deciding to stare at the side of his face illuminated by the dying embers of the fireplace.

"You know, I think I have had enough drinks for tonight," Eddie comments as you hum out, eyes falling heavy as you press your head into your pillow for the night, taking a deep breath in- "I love you, (name). I've said it so many times to myself that it surprises me to sound so right saying it aloud," you are wide awake now, exhaling heavily as your legs twist together underneath the covers.

"I thought you were with Ms. Glass," you speak in a meek tone, not wanting your heart to explode twice, only one of you can be injured at a time. Edward chuckles, head shaking as he looks at you, brown eyes staring deeply into your own, "Well that same woman told me not to sleep with the help, I'm just taking her advice."

"Well she sounds like a very smart lady then, leaving all the more for me," you tease out, lips pressed together as you eye his own. Eddie leans forward, humming out as your lips connect, your hand finding the back of his head before a hiss escapes between his lips and you rapidly pull back.

"Oh shit, sorry," you apologize, looking under the covers to see your knee brushing into his bruised side. "You can always kiss it better," Eddie retorts as you roll your eyes and press a peck to his lips. "whats that supposed to solve?" And soon you both are up into the early morning hours.

--

When you awakened the next morning, having breakfast together in the study, you nearly spat our your tea with the words that escaped Eddies lips, "Would you help me steal a car if I asked politely?"

A smirk meets a smile as you tap your chin in mock-contemplation. "sure" you shrug, pulling the man into another kiss with a chuckle. And thus kicked off the rest of your lives together with a healthy side of cash.

--

Bonus:

↳ Lady Sabrina brought flowers and a bottle of wine to your mothers grave for a chit chat. She poured out to glasses, sitting one by the tombstone as she commented on the nutty taste of the substance.

"I was right in the end, you know. They are a rather marvellous couple and you really should have ended things with that husband of yours. My boy was only ever the most substantial choice, rather embarrassing to think otherwise."

Sabrina could imagine your mother glaring down at her, slipping her the bird while maintaining a pleasant smile. But in due time she would await that interaction as she sipped her wine, embracing victory as she squinted across the field watching as you and Eddie did shooting practice near the woods with a satisfied hum.

(pt.1) (pt.2) (pt.3)

↳ Taglist: @daffodilstark @leavemeslowly @iamasimpingh0e @kneelarmhstrung

↳ A/N: I think thats a wrap for Friend of the Captain... but definitely not for my writing on the Gentlemen (2024)!

[yandere-collections]

Yandere!Actor X Streamer!Reader

male yandere oc x gender neutral reader

This yandere is a semi famous actor. His name is Vince Cantrell and most people know at least one or two movies he’s been in, like when he played the heartthrob of a love interest in the smash hit Guardians of Time trilogy. He’s a rather aloof and eccentric person, choosing to remain hidden away in his manson completely isolated from humanity. He hasn’t acted in a while, taking a break after the sudden death of his parents. However, he can sometimes be persuaded into doing things for marketing, interviews and such to build hype for new projects which was how he met you for the first time. 

You were a moderate sized streamer, usually reaching a few hundred viewers during regular streams. You got a real bump in viewership after you played the licensed game sold as a tie-in with the Guardian of Time series based on the movies. In it, you had to think fourth dimensionally in order to strategically build and defend a self sustaining agency in its own branch of reality. Because you played it, and were good at it, the game did far better than projected as thousands of people tuned it at a time to see what you could do, finding inspiration in how creative you were at pushing the games boundaries. 

The devs took notice of how you lead to a direct boost in sales, giving them the chance to make a sequel with an even bigger budget. That’s when they took the opportunity to invite you to promote the sequel by playing an early version before the final release as a way to show off all the new features. And the best part? You would be doing it with Vince Cantrell since his character from the movies was prominent in the game as well. It was meant to be a prerecorded casual interview with gameplay that you would then stream on your channel the week before the game’s release.

You met Vince an hour before you were to begin filming, having to go through make-up and staging. He shook your hand, not thinking much of you at the time. You seemed nice, he supposed after you moved away to respect his space instead of crowding up close, he hated people who invaded his personal space. You both took a minute to look the other over. He wore his character’s signature outfit, a black business suit with sci fi elements and electric green accents to match with his eyes. It stood in contrast to his stark white hair, making his features even more striking, almost inhumanely pretty. You on the other hand were dressed in some of the nicer clothes you owned, something closer to business casual. You thought you looked nice and you were happy enough with your appearance, but knew you couldn’t compare to him, not even mad about the distance between you two. If only you knew the emotions swirling inside Vince. He was actually a bit embarrassed, feeling like his costume was a bit too ostentatious compared to you. He admired how down to earth you were and how well you pulled off the look without feeling the need to hide behind excessive wealth and glamor, unlike most people he worked with. If Vince took off all his layers, would he like the person underneath? Would you be willing to show him how?

After introductions, a pair of makeup artists practically pulled the two of you to your chairs under uncomfortably bright lights. Although Vince was used to this treatment, you clearly were not. He even had to hold in a chuckle after seeing your displeased face, failing after you shot him a betrayed look. The studio’s side door opened as the director and one of the devs came through, drawing attention with their arguing about which aspect of the production to focus on, the interview or the game. They came to a stop in front of you two to debrief you on what the two of you had to do while on camera, things like what features to talk about and what to talk about with each other. Pretty standard stuff but Vince was charmed by how earnestly you listened and nodded along. 

The two of you were taken to a simple set comprising of a computer with two chairs and a themed backdrop. You and Vince were then left alone, sitting in your chairs while everyone moved around you, setting up lights and cameras. You averted your eyes from the actor seated next to you, not knowing if you should talk to him or even what you would talk about.

“So, what is it you do again? For a job, I mean. They tried explaining it to me but I was a bit confused.”

Of course Vince was mostly throwing you a metaphorical bone so you could feel more at ease with him but he was genuinely interested in learning more about you. 

“I livestream myself playing games for my audience. Sometimes I’ll make edited videos but it’s mostly the streams.”

“And people watch you do this instead of playing themselves?”

“Yeah! Sometimes people can’t afford games or they want to see if it’s good before they buy it. But other people like watching people experience something they like or the sense of community with other viewers.” You looked a bit nervous as you explained it to him and Vince felt the urge yet again to put you at ease. He couldn’t stand the idea of you feeling uncomfortable around him.

“I guess I can see the appeal. You’re an entertainer like me,” he said, not really knowing what else to say. After all, he didn’t really get internet culture. It must have been the right thing to say as he was treated to the sight of your face lighting up with the brightest smile accompanied by a blush, looking a bit flustered by his comment. Adorable.

“I’m glad! A lot of people don’t think streaming is a real job so I’m always happy when someone at least tries to understand it.”

You then asked him a couple questions about his work. He was happy to answer, especially since you refrained from asking anything too personal, but he was more interested in learning more about you. Your favorite color, your favorite game, everything. With each new thing he learned, his hunger for more grew. You were just as good at pulling information from him, especially with the way you would light up with each fact he gave and deflated with each nonanswer. He would do anything to keep that smile on your face. 

“Alright you two! We’ve got everything set up on our end. Let’s boot up the game and then we can get started!” the director shouted. Vince nearly glared as you were jolted out of the conversation, sheepishly nodding as you woke the computer from sleep mode and double clicked the icon on the screen. 

And then, it was time to start. You had a hard time concentrating on what to say with the stage lights and all the cameras pointed at you. Sure, you were used to facecam but this was nothing like that. You nearly jumped out of your seat when you felt a pair of lips brush against the shell of your ear, right before the cameras began rolling.

“Just focus on me and the game. You’ll forget about them in no time.” 

Vince was once again treated to you blushing, smirking as he pulled away. He saw no harm in a little bit of flirting, especially when it was so easy to pull such a cute reaction from you. He then pasted on a smile, taking the lead in introducing the two of you and the company behind the game while you composed yourself enough to take over. 

“Well, let’s get started!” you said after the intro. “I’m super excited to play this since the sequel was so much fun. And it’s not everyday I get to play games with a famous actor like Vince Cantrell!” He felt his heart warm as you looked at him, a teasing glimmer in your eye. Time to turn up the charm.

“I’m even more excited, if you can believe it, to experience this game since I’m with you,” he said, holding eye contact. “But I’m afraid I don’t know that much about video games. Hopefully I won’t slow you down.”

You laughed at that. “Don’t worry, it’d be my pleasure to teach you. You’ll know everything you need to when I’m done with you.”

The next couple hours flew by for you two. It was like you had both forgotten the cameras and were in your own little world. It was the most fun Vince had had in a long time, ever since his parents died. You were the first person he felt he could genuinely connect with, not as an actor but as a person. 

In between interview questions about his role in the movie and the flirty comments you two exchanged, you showed off the features of the game. Vince took this opportunity to crowd in close, pressing against you in order to look at the screen. You eventually coaxed him to play a little after promising to keep your hand over his to help with the controls.

“And if you click this menu right here, you’ll see some things they added in the sequel. Like pet shops! They officially added pets after I found a bug that let you domesticate wild animals and everyone in the community fell in love with it and asked for it to become a proper mechanic.”

“So if we place this down our citizens can buy pets?”

“Yep! You can choose what pets you want to stock and customize the building. And after a while, the pets may cross breed and make new species.”

“Interesting…” he muttered, caring more about the feeling of your hand on his. Not that he was bored, of course not! He thought he could listen to you talk about game mechanics for hours on end, just to hear your voice. 

“And let me bring up the color wheel so you can see all the options for customization. Go ahead and pick whatever you want. See, you’re already getting it!”

“Only because I have you to help me. We’d probably need to spend far more time together before I could do anything like this on my own. Maybe I could come over sometime?” You looked a bit taken aback by that. Sure, he was laying it on a bit thick and playing up his incompetence but it wasn’t really his fault, not when you were so completely enchanting that he would do anything to get closer to you. It was exciting, having to take the initiative. Most of the time people pursued him, wanting the attention of someone rich and handsome while not actually caring about him at all.

“Ha ha, maybe,” you laughed, brushing off the comment. You both continued with the game for a little while longer until you got the signal to start wrapping up. You announced the game’s release date and also said you would be doing a give away for some free game keys in your chat when the video premiered on your channel in a few weeks time. 

“AND… CUT!”

And just like that, it was over. The lights shut off and you slumped, no longer having to be “on”. 

“I don’t know how you do stuff like this so often. I’d never survive,” you sighed.

“You get used to it. Besides, you did really well. You’re great on camera.”

“Really? Well I guess that makes sense even if my setup is way more casual. And you definitely helped a lot! I would have been a wreck without you helping me.”

He tried not to let it show how much that affected him but it was hard for him to hide how pleased he was hearing you say that. It was only natural you would recognize his rightful place was by your side. There was just one thing left for him to do.

“I was serious, you know. About coming over and playing games with you. You could even stream it if you wanted.”

You bit your lip. “Really? You’d be okay with that?”

“More than okay, I assure you. I had a lot of fun today and would love to see you again in a less formal context.”

“Oh…” You trailed off, considering it as Vince felt his heart crawl up his throat. Please say yes. “Um, sure. That sounds fun. Let’s exchange contact info and see if we can set something up. I expect you’re way busier than me so let me know when you have some free time, okay?”

And with that, he was in. The actor watched as you entered your details into his phone, eyes narrowed like a predator. You then walked off with a wave, eager to get home and wash the day off in the shower. Vince smirked as he watched you go.

You may not realize it now, but you were already his. After all, once Vince Cantrell decided he wanted something, nothing could stop him

(Hope you enjoyed! There will be a part two to this, when I get around to it)

[fleshadept]

No hate at all, but just as someone who’s worked on smaller film production crews in a less expensive city than LA I want to tell you that 29 people on staff is NOTHING for a production company of their size. There’s so much work from project planning and plan development to animation and SFX and graphic design to actual camera operators, audio techs, and lighting crews, to social media marketing teams and then administrative staff to handle all the paperwork involved in getting permission to film in all these locations and organizing flights, hotels, and car rentals for every place they travel to. 29 people is honestly a pretty low number for a company of this caliber.

i know. i just directed a short film with a production crew of 37 and post crew of 11. i am aware of the possibility that productions can be that size. my point was more that they did not need to be “a company of [that] caliber.” they very much could have left buzzfeed, hired a camera op & sound mixer or two, or shit, learned how to do it themselves since it’s youtube and that’s the norm, and more gradually expanded into a professional operation at a sustainable rate. being a "production company of their size" was not a command performance, it was a choice, and it was a bad one.

they did not need to leave buzzfeed and maintain their status as solely talent. the show they were leaving with was not all that complicated! they do not NEED to hire a fucking social media marketing team. a location manager, sure. camera ops and audio for when they're out exploring? sure! but a crew of that size isn't really necessary, is my point.

but they (and the try guys) were used to a quality of life at buzzfeed as talent that they didn't want to let go, and even when the try guys left, i was a little disappointed that they tried to maintain the same level of almost corporate professionalism about their videos instead of like, figuring out how to use a camera or an NLE themselves. i'll admit it's a super petty gripe; like, fine, whatever, shoot for the moon! but it's also meant that they keep feeling the need to Expand and, evidently, legitimize themselves as "more" than just youtubers. they make a LOT of money--but for every one person they hire, that's another person they're obligated to pay a living wage for their skills, and so if they want to be a bigger company, they necessarily must always have Line Go Up. which then compels them to do stupid shit like they did this week

[justplainwhump]

Bull

Meet B's opponent in his first big fight.

[Dany: Fighting Ring Arc]

This is adapted from an RP with @hackles-up, my beloved B (Beast) is her character.

Content / warnings: illegal fights, forced to fight, threats of noncon, humiliation and dehumanisation, broken bone, shock collar, whumpee x caretaker, bad guy pov. BBU setting implied.

Today's arena was impressive; even though it was as improvised as they all were. Set in the old sports area of an abandoned factory's rooming house, the organizers had invested in quite a bit of equipment and service to make the venue memorable.

Large stage lighting systems were installed on the long sides of the pool, spotlights that would later illuminate the fighting pit on the bottom of the empty pool now dancing over the expectant audience, the caterers flitting between them, and the fighters preparing in a cordoned-off area opposite the entrance.

Bull stood in the fighter's area with crossed arms, his back to the wall, the size of the empty half circle around him a good indicator for the respect he'd earned himself over the past years. He was a favorite; his owner's, but also, the crowd's. Every now and then one of the guests in their suits or evening wear would step in closer to the cordon, look at him, and nod contently before they pulled out their wallets and turned towards the betting stations. He allowed himself a short smile. More money meant more clout, meant more rewards. Bull had started as a desperate street fighter, but he had worked himself up to his own room in his master's house, his own chef, his own physical therapist.

Only thing he'd ceased getting, something other Dogs had, were Chewtoys.

Bull went through them too quickly, Master had said. He'd have to wait for the fights. It was an unspoken law, that everyone who set up an opponent for Bull, everyone who wanted to challenge the champion, added a prize for him as well. He hadn't seen tonight's one, yet. Not that it mattered much. He'd win. He always did. And after, there'd be someone scared and warm waiting for his cock.

Usually, these prizes were runaways, gathered from the street, or discount pets after a third or fourth refurb. Skinny, scarred, pathetic. Most weren't even Romantics. Didn't matter. Bull didn't want to be seduced.

They rarely made it long. Sometimes, spectators of the fights would pay Bull's master extra, to let them watch the aftermath. In those cases, they did last longer. Bull knew how to give a spectacle.

He figured they'd want a spectacle tonight, as well. Bull was the headliner, scheduled for the last fight of the night - as always -, but this time, they pitted him against fresh meat. One of Hank's, this place's head operator's, latest findings. The man was good at spotting potential; but setting his latest toy up against Bull in his very first fight? Risky, to say the least.

From the corner of his eye, Bull saw one of Hank's trainers pointing at him. Ryder. Arrogant, overpriced ass who wouldn't last a second in the pit himself. Only thing he could achieve was mess with WRU products conditioned minds. His Master had brought Ryder in as a trainer for Bull once, because he was meant to be the best. Hadn't worked out well. Bull didn't fight because of weird WRU drugs messing up his brain. Bull fought because he wanted to. Because fighting opened doors for him. Because he couldn't just do whatever he wanted, but was celebrated for it, revered even. His Master had a claim on him, sure, but both Bull and him knew, he could walk away whenever he wanted. He just didn't want it.

Bull's gaze rested on the Dog next to Ryder. Curious, that Hank let Ryder train the newbie. Quite the investment into someone who'd be obliterated. He watched the new Dog with a glint of lazy interest. Big, just like Bull himself. Lot slimmer around the waist, though. Built to be not only strong, but pretty, too. He was younger than Bull, but far older than the usual fresh meat they'd throw on the market.

And obviously pumped on drugs. Bull smirked and gestured at his trainer. Well then. He'd match that. His trainer raced to his side with a drinking bottle. Filled with the good juice. Bull took a big gulp. "What's that guy's story?"

"They call him the Beast. Runaway WRU they found on the trash and built up again."

"Guessed as much."

"There's more though. Something you should know."

"Hm?"

"Bait's his girlfriend."

Bull chuckled. "Pathetic. Dogs don't do relationships." 
"Maybe he's an unusual one. He's going to want to defend her."

Bull watched the pet from hard eyes. "I'll keep him alive then. Let him watch."

The trainer tilted his head, but his reply was drowned out in booming music, tuning over into an announcement.

“Ladies and gentlemen! We have a great line up for you tonight, so get those bets in and let’s get this show on the road!”

The new Dog startled at the noise and the following roar of the crowd.

Bull chuckled half to himself. This would be easy. Still. He could make it easier still.

"Where is that prize?" Bull asked, over the cheer of the audience, unfazed by the noise. It would grow a lot louder, when he came up, later. "Get her here. Pay someone if you must. Gonna push some buttons before we're on."

His glance followed the trainer, wandering over the spectators, who cheered as the first fighters of the day were let down into the ring.

There he was, the ring's manager, Hank, standing next to his boss in the first row.

By their side, kept on a short leash, knelt a young woman in a tight black catsuit, her face pressed against Hank's leg.

From the distance, Bull saw Hank shake his head. His boss put a hand on Hank's arm, saying something into his ear, that caused Hank to lift his arm and throw an with an indignant gesture at Bull.

Bull grinned. He always got what he wanted. He made the money tonight, after all.

It was thrilling, to see the bristling Hank stomp towards him, the bait dragged behind him, struggling to keep his pace as she crawled on all fours.

The girl could've been conventionally attractive, Bull guessed, if that was what one was into. Tall, skinny, soft, cute little cat ears nestled in her short hair. She was also humiliated, terrified, and drugged just enough to make that terror plain obvious but render her unable to do anything. That certainly was something Bull was into. He smiled, flashing all his sharpened teeth.

"Don't do anything stupid, Bull." Hank kept the girl on a tight leash, as he arrived just on the other side of the cordon. It wasn't only rope keeping them in, though.

Circuits were embedded in the floor, that would set off the collar of any Dog who crossed it before the time for their fights. Bull knew precisely where these are, and how to avoid them when he sauntered towards her.

He grinned, ignoring Hank's speech.

He could swear the bait was shivering already.

"So, Kitty," he snarled instead, making sure the new guy overheard. "I hear you're used to taking Dog cock?"

It was enough already. From the side, he heard an animalistic roar, alarmed screams from the handlers.

The new guy was lunging forward, gnashing his teeth together, all but dragging the two handlers desperately trying to pull back his leash.

"Dany!" His voice was harsh and raw.

"Dany," Bull all but purred. "They give names to the fucktoys? What a waste."

"Beastie! Stay!" Ryder was running towards his charge.

"Catch poles! Get the catch poles-" Hank yelled orders at the handlers.

The commotion in the fighters' area had stirred the audience, enough for their attention to shift from the fight down in the pit to tonight's main contestants. Murmurs and laughter erupted, even a cheer or two for Bull.

He grinned, taking in his surroundings.

Hank had pushed himself between the Fighters and the girl.

Not far enough though.

At the other end of the area, the WRU pet had shaken off the handlers trying to pull him back and charged towards Bull, letting out a guttural roar.

Bull knew exactly where he could step, and his arms were long enough. His left arm pushed Hank away, his right wrapped around the girl's leash and yanked.

The whore wouldn't have been any match for him in any state. Drugged as she was, she all but fell right into his arms with a hoarse scream, just as he spun back towards the charging idiot, the girl pressed firmly against his front, right in the Beast's path.

The other stopped dead in his tracks, inches in front of them.

"Easy, buddy," Bull taunted. "We're not on yet."

It sounded like the fight had been interrupted down in the pit. All eyes were on them now. Perfect.

Bull fastened his hold of the fucktoy, acknowledging the press of her warm, tense body against his, her frantic heartbeat against his chest, that caused a pleasant stir in his groin. She'd be fun, later. He leaned in the slightest bit, licked a slow, long strip over her neck, making sure his sharpened teeth caught the light just right.

"You've fucked her before, too, haven't you? Don't you think I too deserve a taste of what I fight for?"

"Bull," Hank hissed. "Step down."

Bull ignored him easily. Hank would acknowledge the rustle of bills around him just as much as Bull did. And even if he didn't - Hank's own boss sure did. All attention was good attention.

The other Fighter took another slow, predatory step towards Bull.

Behind him catch poles were silently, hastily being snatched up. Fingers hovered over controllers. Nobody dared to make a move though. It seemed as if everyone held their breath.

Then, the wannabe-Beast lunged forward, eyes glaring with unbridled fury, his first crashing towards Bull's face.

He had no idea what he was getting himself into. Too bad for him that Bull did.

The bitch screamed, when the pet's fist came crashing towards her. Bull had to leave it to his opponent - he was fast. Good to know. No chance for Bull to wrestle his girl in the line of attack, just to throw himself back and dodge. The "Beast"'s fist brushed over Bull's cheek, but failed to fully connect.

Before he could even withdraw his arm, his eyes widened. His body spasmed. He fell over like a felled tree.

For the tight fracture of a second, Bull expected a shock of his own. None came. So he just watched his opponent crumble in front of him. The whore's heart against him was racing, her shiver a tantalizing distraction on Bull's skin. He gently lowered his mouth over her neck, pulse under his enforced teeth. Her breath stilled. As did the audience's.

"Intermission," the announcer's voice crackled over the speakers. "We've decided to interupt tonight's program, and pull forward our main fight. Please, refill your drinks, adjust your bets, and be ready to see Bull vs Beast, starting in no less than five minutes!"

Bull locked gaze with his Master, in the first row, slight panic in his eyes, gesturing for him to let go. Bull rolled his eyes. Idiot. As if Bull would risk disqualification like that.

He slowly pulled back from her neck, felt the tension of the audience dissolve, just like his Master's.

"I'll finish with you soon enough," he murmured into the whore's hair, loud enough for those spectators around him to brighten up in anticipation.

"Fighters, step back," another announcement cracked.

Bull nodded his head in faux deference and set the prize down to her feet, ready to toss her back to Hank.

Not without a little signature, though.

A slight twist of his arm was all it took.

He felt her bone shift under her skin, heard it crack, just as he let go of her with a swift push.

She landed in a heap in front of Hank's feet, screaming in pain.

*

The audience slowly retreated, ushered back by Hank's security. Handlers rushed in to look after Hank's sorry ruffled Beastie, already sitting up, pale from the shock's aftermath, rendered unable to do anything but growl. What a throwback for the upcoming fight these shocks would prove to be.

Bull's own trainer appeared by his side with a bag of ice for his face, and he reached out to take it. 
His gaze rested on Hank though, and he relished the way the manager's lip formed an asshole. He'd never say it out loud, though. Hank knew where his boss' money came from.

And so he seethed in furious silence as he signalled for a medic to look after his pathetic fucktoy's broken arm.

"Waste of time," Bull mouthed, grinning at Hank and lifting a finger to draw a line across his throat. "She's done. They both are."


----

Dany tag list (let me know if you want to be added or removed): @distinctlywhumpthing @Whumping-on-the-ridge @queenofthenoobs @ocean-blue-whump

[this-is-krikkit]

no more boops? have a fic instead!

rating: Mature relationships: Erwin Smith/Mike Zacharias, Levi Ackerman/Hange Zoë

summary: Teleworking at Erwin's place grants Mike a front row seat to his boss honoring a stupid dare. Let's be honest, though: it has other perks.

additional tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Office, slightly kinky, Light BDSM, very light actually most of it is only mentioned, Based on a Tumblr Post, i gave Nanaba a family name for the narrative, i also gave her a couple heart attacks. also for the narrative!, Tumblr Prompt, Mike and Hange both wearing their boyfriends' shirts Challenge: complete, Office Romance

inspired by:

enjoy!!

“To conclude this meeting and another productive week, I’d like to have everyone’s attention for a few of our most pressing matters.”

Oh, he’s going to do it now, Mike realizes.

For the hundredth time in the last hour and a half, he has to check that both his microphone and camera are offline. He’s not usually so easily spooked about these things, but it’s one thing to want your privacy during a meeting with twenty people and the company’s CEO himself making a presentation, and it’s another to have to hide the fact that you’re teleworking from said CEO’s penthouse apartment every Friday because you’ve been secretly —Mike’s decided that drunkenly confessing to Nanaba a few weeks back doesn’t count— fucking each other for months now against all company guidelines.

He almost feels sorry for not warning his friend Hange, the only one besides Erwin and a few less highly ranked colleagues who’s currently got their camera on —and who is probably unaware of that fact, seeing how their crumpled shirt is hanging open as far as he can see— for what’s about to happen, but he couldn’t do that without giving himself away.

“I’m going to need Business Development, Sales and Marketing to work together closely on the Titan project next quarter. Zoë, Ackerman and Zacharias, as respective heads of these divisions, I’ll require that you regularly meet and update me directly on this matter. It’s a great challenge, but I have no doubt your BDSM task force, as I’ve labeled it, will tackle it under the deadline I stipulated earlier.”

It’s probably unnoticeable to everyone else with his camera so high on his laptop’s screen, but Mike knows he didn’t imagine the way Erwin’s eyes just settled on him, all the way over where he’s lounging on the comfy couch in his boss’ home office, when he said the acronym Mike dared him to place. Knowing this was coming does little to stop Mike’s shock at hearing the awfully casual way he enunciated those letters, and it’s physically painful to have to contain his hilarity —Erwin’s microphone is definitely still on and it’s not that big a room— when he glances back down and sees Erwin actually put it into bold, huge characters onto an otherwise blank slide.

His eyes catch movement on his screen then, and he realizes that some screens that were previously showing faces have suddenly gone dark.

His friend Hange's, however, hasn’t. In fact, they’re currently losing their mind over what just happened, and they’re definitely unaware of their camera being on if the image of them picking up their laptop and running into another room before settling it down in front of Levi as they hurriedly gesture at —Mike’s guessing since their microphone is still thankfully muted— Erwin’s scandalous slide is anything to go by.

It’s not unusual for Hange and Levi, two of the most important people in this company and annoyingly close friends —who, in Mike’s opinion, are two close idiots who really are in love with each other and should get together already— to be spending teleworking days together.

But something is… off in this picture.

Then Mike realizes, now that he’s seen them standing, that Hange’s shirt’s probably been hanging open because it’s obviously several sizes too small. And, before Levi’s eyes comically widen and he extends his arm towards their camera to turn their tiny window black as well, it finally clicks in Mike’s brain.

That wasn’t just Levi.

That was Levi and his naked torso, sculpted by the endless hours he spends in the same gym Mike trains at, and covered in hickeys.

Mike steals a glance at Erwin, but his boss is now calmly calling the end of the meeting, his usual poker face on although there’s no way in hell he didn’t notice what just transpired.

Before he can think of addressing it out loud as Erwin turns his computer off and stands from his chair, Mike’s phone chimes with Nanaba’s special ringtone. He sighs and picks up, knowing making his best friend wait after these very interesting last few minutes isn’t the best idea.

“Mike, what the fuck?” She starts, and Mike rolls his eyes as he rethinks of the countless times she’s threatened him with days long HR seminars about his swearing. “You and Eyebrows did this on purpose, didn’t you? Hange’s freaking out so bad right now!”

She’s being so loud the sound of her voice carries way further than Mike’s phone speaker, and Erwin mouthes the nickname back at him with obvious amusement, now close enough to sit with him on the couch.

“Well, first of all, I didn’t know their camera would be on,” he says, trying not to sound as defensive as the guilt he feels about his other friend’s distress wants him to. “And besides, it serves them right for not telling me they're finally hooking up with Levi! Did you know and forget to tell me by any chance?"

Mike shares a glance with Erwin at that, who shakes his head condescendingly at his outrage —and if Mike wasn’t almost sure his boss had figured his two friends out before they all just got accidental proof of their relationship, now he is— and extends one arm over the back of the couch to scoot even closer to Mike’s lap, before casually starting to leave feather light kisses along his neck.

“You do not have a fucking leg to stand on here, Mister Secret CEO Boyfriend,” Nanaba scolds over the phone, making Mike freeze at the unexpected title, even as the pressure of Erwin’s lips only increases against his sensitive skin. “Which, by the way, I know this was his idea and not yours, you’re not twisted enough to come up with something like this. And I know I said I wanted to make friends with the big boss now that you two are doing the horizontal tango, but I’m not so sure it’s a good idea after—

“That’s alright, Miss Fischer,” Erwin interrupts, taking advantage of the speechless state his hickeys have left Mike into, sounding way too unbothered for their current predicament. “I’m not here to make friends anyway.”

There’s a sudden squeal followed by the muffled sound of Nanaba possibly trying to catch her phone before it falls from her grip.

“Erw— Mister Smith? Oh my God. Oh my God, I’m so sorry, Sir, Mike never said… I mean, had no idea you could overhear—”

“It’s alright,” Erwin says again, pausing to nibble at the skin over Mike’s collarbone, who’s trying to glare at him even though he knows it’s a lost cause. “I’ll see you Monday, Miss Fischer. Have a restful weekend.”

“Yes, Sir. Sorry again. I’ll see you on Monday, Sir.”

Erwin takes the phone away before she’s even done and throws it behind him on the cushions, not bothering to check that the call effectively cut —although Mike’s sure it did, because Nanaba sounded absolutely terrified.

“You just terrorized your HR Director,” he tries, still panting from Erwin’s most recent attention to his neck.

“I know,” Erwin singsongs like he just got praised instead of scolded, nipping along Mike’s jaw playfully now.

“Did you do it because of the nickname, or because I told you she had a crush on me back when we started at the company?”

Erwin chuckles, his breath fanning over Mike’s overheated skin in the process, and draws back far enough to look him in the eyes.

“Come on, I don’t hold such childish grudges,” he says smoothly, predatory smile firmly in place.

Mike bites back his own smile, and tries to keep his face neutral.

“You know I’m aware that you’re lying, right?”

Erwin only grins wider and lets his hand travel along his torso, down his abdomen, and finally cups him briefly over his pants, tearing a hiss out of him that effectively ruins his attempt to appear unimpressed.

“And you know I’m aware of how much that turns you on, right?” he asks in his ear.

"Fuck. Kiss me,” Mike orders.

He doesn’t often use this tone of voice, but you'd need to be blind not to notice the surprising effect it has on such an authoritative figure as Erwin Smith.

But his boss still isn’t one to give up control that easily, as assure the previous times they’ve been together in bed —or this couch, his kitchen, his bathroom... even under his on site desk one memorable time— combined with the way their lips fight for dominance the second they connect and the rough hands that immediately begin tearing at his clothes —well, at Erwin’s shirt that he borrowed today, actually, so Mike really couldn’t care less about the buttons sent flying around the room right now.

Mike lets out a gasp as Erwin pushes him firmly onto his back and trails his hands over the skin he’s just uncovered. His fingers find Mike’s nipples and pinch them, reaching that perfect line between pain and pleasure right away as Mike curses as much as he blesses how well Erwin’s come to know his body in only a few months of casual —is it still casual? Erwin didn’t exactly react to Nanaba calling him Mike’s boyfriend earlier— sex encounters.

The edges of his mind are already getting fuzzy, but Mike doesn’t let himself completely fall under Erwin’s spell yet.

One of his hands cups the back of Erwin’s head and adjusts the angle with enough force to bury his face in his neck, tickling his skin with the facial hair he knows Erwin finds irresistible and unexpectedly biting down, hard. It’s definitely going to leave a bruise; but for one, it’s low enough that Erwin will be able to hide whatever faded mark is left after the weekend under a high collar shirt; and this move is one of Erwin’s weaknesses that’s never failed before.

It doesn’t disappoint now, either, and Erwin moans loudly and goes slack enough at the sudden teeth impact to let Mike switch their position and land on top of him instead.

“You really shouldn’t lie to me, Mister Smith,” he growls as he settles on top of him, rotating his hips so his ass rubs against the hardening erection in Erwin’s pants even as he brings one hand to wrap his around his throat. 

He spreads his fingers around his airway, teasing gently before he starts squeezing.

“Wait,” Erwin chokes out suddenly.

Mike lets go of his neck at once, dropping the act and cupping his cheek instead.

“Red?” he asks, searching Erwin’s eyes for signs of pain.

He tried to erase the surprise from his voice but knows he only partially succeeded —choking is certainly not where they’ve ever drawn the line before. Then again, if that’s what Erwin needs right now, of course he’ll stop.

“No, of course not,” Erwin says, dismissing his concerns with a scoff. “But don’t you want your assignment first?”

“Oh. Well, sure, but why… I mean, what is it, do you think I’m going to fuck your brains out so hard you won’t remember when I’m done with you?” he teases, grinding against him again.

“Actually, yes,” Erwin breathes through a tender smile.

There’s no trace of humor in his tone or on his face now, and Mike is split between a surge of white hot arousal at knowing his lover genuinely thinks that highly of him, and near-overwhelming affection for the sometimes disarmingly honest, always unpredictable, and forever complicated man he’s currently pinning down on expensive leather they’re about to ruin.

“Alright,” he concedes, putting both hands on each side of Erwin’s head and stilling his movements. “What inappropriate word do you charge me to use in workplace conversation next week, Sir?”

Erwin curls his index to coax Mike closer. He follows the order and leans over him until Erwin’s able to take his lower lip between his teeth and suck on it, and Mike’s groan lingers even after he’s let go with a loud pop.

“C.B.T,” Erwin enunciates.

Mike closes his mouth and swallows. Hard.

Erwin smirks up at him, his clever hands using the distraction to unbutton and unzip Mike’s pants in one fluid movement.

[sleepynegress]

Love this interview... I have been semi-checking in on Zawe's journey since before certain stans were feeling some kinda way about her recent familial additions. I do for certain Black actors/creators especially, who seem to be moving in interesting ways in entertainment/film media...

-A remnant from a period when I used to go to screenings and blog about films (and was published a few times in a major national newspaper)... So, I knew of Zawe through the grapevine of her mentorship, i.e. she is the reason why Rege Jean Page of Bridgerton fame got to work in U.S. markets, as she sponsored him. And she is known, as one of those "good eggs" who will be accessible and help/advise especially young actors of color. ...But, I have some other stuff to say. This isn't about proving that she's an amazing human being. It's about a certain brand of misogynoir that some of these people far beneath her in self-knowledge, self-love, and just plain grown-ass-woman-personhood...keep letting fly in what they *think* are compliments, but actually are just trite microaggressions. Saying things like "as long she makes [T-blank H-blank] happy then she's alright" as if he's the centered human and her attachment renders her worthy somehow. Babies, as long as SHE'S happy. Yall. He's marrying up.

WAY UP and the fact that he knows this? Actually elevates him. She's been there.

She tells a story in the above interview that reminds me of Uzo Aduba's anecdote about her name , - of an incident when she was called to an early job (at 6!) and someone there said she wasn't pretty because of her gap and her Ugandan mother took her on past this person and into the room, ANYWAY.

... She learned a specific self-knowledge and self-love, that is necessary in very white western spaces that constantly pressures a narrow sense of worthiness and beauty, especially from Black women, something a lot of these small-minded stans don't even have a notion of seeing beyond. Zawe is biracial, and her features, aside from her skin tone are very African. So while she benefits from colorism, featurism is something I've seen those bigoted stans, pick on as well. She knows those features are what makes her beautiful and knew that, w/o and before her partner saw that too. And people who aren't blind narrow-minded ignoramuses can *also* see that. This is why I assert the fact of featurism needing to be in the conversation of light/dark privilege conversations. Lips, nose, gap, and even the set of her eyes are ethnic beauty markers within quite a few spaces in the Black African diaspora... My mom was an absolute stunner because of her gap.

Even the old school white model Lauren Hutton got there because of her gap. Uzo Aduba, who I have already mentioned has a deeper skintone and has similarly large round striking eyes, gap, and a non-pinched-nose *rightly* played Glinda in NBC's production of The Wiz a few years back, with Dorothy saying she's so beautiful *because* of those features, not despite them as a very narrow white-washed gaze would wrongly assert.

And while we're here that includes sizes and shapes too. I'm saying your boy is enjoying all that plush. A lot of yall need to read or reread Maya Angelou's Phenomenal Woman, for comprehension.

Anyway... All this to say I know Zawe is and will be fine regardless.

P.S. Maya Angelou *also* had height, and gap and was very much known for her beauty/magnetism as a woman when she was alive. :

[forcemasculinisation]

Hey I don’t know if this is really a big issue among trans guys but I constantly find myself questioning my identity due to the fact I can’t find any clothing or looks on men that I like. This with the fact I’m a poc makes it like weird to look for clothing styles I enjoy. Like I keep going “am I really a man if I prefer feminine clothing? Am I just lying? Should I stay feminine?” So long story short I was wondering if theirs any like styles that look good really on men or tips for when your not feeling masculine? Or just tips on feeling more masculine pre transition in general?

Thank you for your ask, anon.

I myself am pre-transition, medically speaking. I don't necessarily do much in the means of "passing" for reasons I don't feel the need to share. My opinion may not be as valid to some of you because of this, but I'll share things that my male friends do that I've observed.

My major piece of advice in terms of clothing is don't go rushing to the men's section of a store and pick up all the large, body-covering garments you can find. Playing to your body type is important, and you should probably aim to go for a size down of what you initially assume you want in men's sizes.

Brands I usually go for are general sports brands like Nike, Adidas, Reebok etc, as well as second-hand SuperDry and H&M. (Also, if you buy something and it's too big, throw it in the wash and dryer several times.)

Dark tones are traditionally masculine as well if you want to stay safe, however there are a lot of men who wear light tones, it just depends on the style.

Layering also works in my case, but it's only helpful in winter. I find when I wear a coat over a hoodie over a t-shirt, I tend to pass a lot better. (Puffer jackets are really good for emulating this, especially North Face or similar dupes.)

Also, if you wear glasses, order some more boxy-looking prescription glasses with darker or more muted frames. These generally appear more masculine at first glance, but you can ask an optician or your friend for an opinion of what looks more masc on your face. Spend a lot of tine on this, because you obviously wear your glasses more often than certain outfits.

I'd also say that it depends on the "type" of guy you're looking to present as. I have a lanky build with longer legs, so I wear straight-legged jeans to only discreetly hide curves.

Overall, it just takes a bit of experimentation. This post may not be that helpful to everyone, because I'm using my own life as an anecdote, so I apologise in advance. There is no right way to pass, and a few people warp the meaning of passing to looking more western-centric, however I've learned that this is poor advice.

As for feeling more masculine, you could:

Buy male deodorant, shower gel or aftershave and shave with a razor marketed towards men

Buy male underwear and pajamas

Try skin-tone coloured transtape (if you can find it, it's a horror to find dark brown trans tape)

Work out every day (don't rush into this, and consistency is key)

Experiment with masculine hairstyles.

If any of you would like a separate post with specific resources for any of these, or my own personal recommendations for products and clothing, I'd be happy to share.

Sidenote: passing ≠ feeling masculine. You're doing this for yourself, not for others.

[breelandwalker]

I'd like your opinion on something if you don't mind.

A previous mentor who I was very close to (and has since passed away) taught me that I shouldn't sell my magic but give it freely. I've realized since then that it's really each individual's choice whether or not to do so, but I can't seem to shake the skeevy feelings when I think of selling my own work, even though the money would definitely help. That said, I am less sure that it's from that previous line of thinking and more to do with the fact that I have never been a sales person.

How does one start selling their magical wares and protect against burnout (from putting too much energy into what they make and sell), and how do you keep from someone using the energy you put into it to turn it against you?

This is a very good question and a good example of how it can be a difficult process to grow out of our first set of lessons. It's true what they say about first impressions - they're hard to get past, and it takes some doing to reset your thinking to adjust to new information. So it's good that you're already doing that reconsideration. Be patient with yourself and keep at it!

As for selling one's work, there's another old adage that holds true here - If you're good at something, never do it for free. Lots of witches make some kind of income from their craft, whether it's tips from readings or teaching workshops or selling physical wares. There's nothing wrong with it, but some witches do frown on the practice out of personal preference or a tradition-based perspective.

(Personally, I think the idea smacks of classism and elitism, since disenfranchised and economically-disadvantaged people have traded in charms and divination and other magical practices as a source of income for centuries and many continue to do so, but I digress....)

As for selling your wares, I'd suggest approaching things from a practical angle. Start small, decide what you want to sell, price your components, pay yourself for the time it takes to make things, and research similar items to get an idea of a fair price range. Don't go overboard with your first set of equipment or component purchases - it already takes a long time to make the money back, so don't put yourself into a huge hole right off the bat. (I made that mistake years ago with candlemaking.)

There are lots of options for selling wares online that don't require you to be a salesperson, but you will need to keep good records, stay organized, and do your own marketing. Be realistic about what you can handle as far as production, engagement, and shipping entail. I recommend selling from stock as opposed to doing custom orders. This naturally depends on what you're selling, but it's easier to sell from a pre-made stock of items than to get buried in orders you have to find time and energy to make after the fact.

Look into sites like Shopify and Squarespace and the like for your platform. Make sure you create accounts on several payment sites so your customers have lots of options. Take good clear photos of your wares that show them in the best light and give a good idea of color and size.

If you feel up to it, you can also look into live markets in your area. I've had a lot of success with witch markets, flea markets, and craft fairs, even though they require a fair investment of time and energy. If you decide to do this, keep an eye toward presentation, remember that visibility is key, and practice your pitch ahead of time so you can just spit it out like a recording instead of overthinking what you're saying.

As for the energy issue, it helps to pace yourself when you're making things. Don't try and do it all at once or you'll burn yourself out and it will become a chore. Starting small and not overcommitting definitely helps. If you're going to put a particular magical effect into an item, use small amounts of energy and intention and let the components do the heavy lifting.

For example, I make little bottle charms for various purposes. When I make them, I focus on a general good-will blessing for the pieces, allowing the herbs and crystals to retain their potential energy for future use. Whoever purchases the charm can then put their own energy into it for the designated purpose.

Think of it like using an eyedropper versus a bucket. You don't need to douse everything to make it work. Put just a drop or so of intention and potential into each item and let it brew. The person who buys it can take on the responsibility of fully charging the item when they're ready to use it.

I honestly don't worry about people using the energy in my wares against me. That's not really how that works. Energy can have a signature, but it doesn't work the same as a taglock. It's not like I'm handing over a lock of hair.

Also, I don't think most witches make a habit of buying things from people just to try and harm them through magic. Tiktok makes everyone paranoid with these claims of rampant baneful magic that can be aimed through pictures of workings or screen names or what have you. People simply don't have that much time on their hands and even if they did, they'd have a helluva time directly the magic effectively without a clear target.

In any case, if you're worried, a simple set of protective wards should take care of things. Include a reflective layer that turns away incoming magical harm or unwanted spells and you should be fine.

If you have any specific questions or would like recommendations for suppliers, let me know. Hope this helps and best of luck with your business!

[vertebrae-entertainment]

5/13/2024 - The struggle!!

About time i updated y'all on the business side of things.

First things first, we're still alive and working! Downside is, its mostly non-Fangst related. Its hard times working in gamedev, and we're keeping the lights on by doing freelance. While Fangst is moving slowly these days, process is still being made- mostly in backgrounds and asset design!

Keen eyes in our local area may have noticed that the game business collective we were a part of, Hamar Game Collective, met its end earlier this year (link in Norwegian). Thankfully none of the member studios were harmed in the process, but its loss is felt and many are affected.

For us it has the very direct consequence that we soon no longer have an office space. Having this space and daily direct contact with other Hamar-based developers has been immensely helpful in helping us sustain and develop our freaky, gay-ass, hardly marketable little art business. We are very sad to see it go, but hopeful that another initiative takes its place in due time. Not quite sure where we'll go yet, but we'll try and keep you posted. We're at least staying in Hamar!

Vertebrae Entertainment has a long, weird history, arguably mostly running on spite and good ol' queer stubbornness- but in life you kind of have to be a cockroach to survive. Many things will try to squish you, the best you can do is refuse to give up! The next crumb may be just around the corner, after all.

Speaking of squishing, another reason things are going slow these days is that we are going through some absence due to illness!! Protip: If you're planning a project, make plenty of space for these kinds of things in your schedule- it does indeed happen, and can happen quite frequently!

How much absence affects your project depends on your team size- 100% if its only you, 50% if its two people, and so on and so on- halving with each additional team member. Having a small team is dreamy in regards to upkeep cost and communications, but the downside is abrupt stops when things get in the way of development.

If you have a larger team, production can move faster and with less capacity loss per individual absence, but at a greater cost. Your project will also be more prone to poor communication and creative differences turning into Big Deals. You will have to dedicate more time to proper meetings and communication- or ideally, hire a project manager to do this for you so you can actually focus on making a game. Project managers are basically the oil for the engine, in that sense- ensuring everything runs smoothly.

Whoops, this turned into a lil bit of a business 101- in short!! Hi, happy spring, we're still around and doing our best!! Consider thanking your project manager for their hard work today if you have one. RIP Hamar Game Collective, you were great. We'll do our best to keep the spirit alive!

-Hauk

[lunarsilkscreen]

Long-Term Strategy for Game Series Support

We're entering an era of Long-Term support for Video Games Series. (THAT'S A LIE, WEVE BEEN THERE FOR A MINUTE NOW.)

As Developers and Publishers start shutting down online services for older games (and in some cases disabling the game entirely)

Which is necessary, considering that servers take money to continue running. And older game players simply aren't bringing in revenue to keep the lights on. (Because they're not bringing in any money)

The question that AAA developers should be asking; "How do we integrate our games backend into a shared eco-system in order to reduce costs for each individual game, and increase adoption of newer services/games for our players?"

This is a question that must be asked because Developers and Publishers already know how difficult it is to retain profits while competing with the Resale and Third-Party markets like GameStop.

Many developers have started creating "Always On" services which require the game to be connected to the internet in order to play offline portions. (To verify authenticity that the game was purchased from an official source and not pirated.)

After-all it's hard to continue paying for online services if pirates are using them.

Still, services like Hearthstone provide a free service, free product, and still manage to turn profit. Part of this is because of the competitive environment and sponsored tournaments.

By offering a prize, plenty of players can be convinced to play, just in case they feel like going pro next year.

But they probably won't. Despite that; the game is incredibly fun to play. Except when several players in a row have the exact combo that enables them to keep tempo, and so you gotta grin and bear it till it becomes fun again.

Or buy more cards.

Still, how do you create an environment for the casual players of casual games. Like Animal Crossing, or Pokemon. Since most Pokemon players aren't competitive.

After a half-a-decade, the business model dictates that you sell a new game to replace the old one.

Part of the problem here is that each new game has a lot of the same content as the old game, and thus; in order to switch you need throw away your old save file and start from scratch.

Many players that would do that just because they can would have done so already. And so older players may end up giving up both the old and new, simply because it's easier to do so.

Despite the newest games having a lot of the same content, a lot of old content is lost. Like the Story. What would traditionally be called the "Movie" or "Novel" portion. Depending on if it was a cutscenes or several hundred lines of text.

And so in order to re-experience the old content; many players may instead choose to simply to pirate the old content, or read about it from online sources.

Part of the solution is to simply offer the old content to new players. And to try to convince older players into the new areas by allowing them to bring their old content and achievements with them.

This can be accomplished a few different ways. Crypto is one way to create a ledger tied to a players account so that they can share their content between platforms and games.

Nearly every platform, PlayStation, XBOX, and while Nintendo doesn't offer a platform specific variant, game often still include achievements.

And this system can be used to store certain content on a player basis to brought into newer or different games.

This would also enable cross-game items/content/achievements that players could bring with them from series to series.

Which would be a boom for cross-promotional purposes. And by creating an environment and a system that enables to store this in the same place(cloud). You could also control for DataBase specifications in order to reduce size and increase speeds for each individual game.

Now, I am pretty well Versed in Learning Content Distribution. SCORM(This is an acronym you don't need to know, and would only raise more questions if I explain it, so I'll stick to the surface here.) SCORM, TinCan, and xAPI (not to be confused with Twitter) are specifications created for the Learning Management Environment (Education, College, Government, and corporate training models) in order to do exactly what I'm talking about with as little or as much data bandwidth requirements, is relatively secure and includes cross-service achievement-like systems.

As well as content-distribution systems.

I would assume there's a way to integrate it with Crypto. It would replace the monkey WEBMs with something more substantial.

And this service or system would allow not only players to bring their accounts and achievements and items with them from game to game (or from game to social media) but games to communicate with each other.

Again, I'm thinking "Eco-system" here. Publishers would be able to do large-scale cross-promotional events with many games simultaneously. And enable platform-hoping between games with content from each individual event.

What this means is that you would also be able to provide a place for those old games to exist, even if they don't participate it the Events anymore. AND encourage players to try new and other games because they don't lose their original save files doing so.

[sp3ncer45]

Guess who decided to make a size chart mee I did

//MENTION OF ED/SH//

(CHANGES/HCS UNDER CUT)

||Keroro||

-He/him, cis, gay

-45(human years)

-He's short now like really short, I thought it would be cute

-a little bit chubby heart emoji

-He's got brown in his colors now(stole that from ziv❤)

-Claws!!!!!!

-Fuckass ushanka(Chip revvington reference I gave him a ushanka because of that FUCKASS chainsaw beast)

-I have a theory/headcanon that the keroro platoon was created and put together by keron hq to kind of be a "mascot platoon" with keroro being the somewhat offical mascot for the keron army, so like I wanted to make keroro look kind of cutesy like a marketable mascot. Hes not fully marketable here, his designs a little too complicated, but I imagine that keron has an altered version of keroro that's much closer to his original purpose that they use in tv and in products

||Tamama||

-He/She/They, genderfluid, likes men that's all I know

-15(human years)

-SHES TALLLLLL for a keronian atleast

-to be honest he changed the most out of all the others

-anyways they have much bulkier limbs now

-I wanted to make him look a little "manmade" with the colors on their body n the way shes built I suppose?? theres a reason for that

-Tamama is a clone, like dark keroro. I hc that on keron clones have to be genetically distinct from from non clone keronians so they can be identified as clones, like for example, their underbellies being dark colors as compared to the light colors of most keronians, and the lack of feet.

-Hes a clone of one of the very high ranking soldiers of the keron army. They were created as an experiment to test genetic mutations and making stable lifeforms with said mutations. He was raised by one of the scientists who was having issues having children of their own and so decided to take her in. Keron is surprisingly very open about their genetic testing and the fact they create manmade keronians, so tamama was allowed to live a pretty normal life and went to school n such.

-She has an ED where he will often binge large quantities of food and then purge for extended periods of time

||Giroro||

-He/him, cis(?), the most he will say is bi-curious (Hes mega gay)

-45(human years)

-Buff as hell

-is that a little bit of chub? or is it muscle belly? he won't tell you that's for sure

-I made his scar cooler

-his belt has multiple pictures of it, some of the cat, some of natsumi(NOT BC HE HAS A FUCKING CRUSH ON HER ITS BC HE CARES ABT HER LIKE A DAUGHTER I WILL KILL MYSELF OVER GIRONASTU AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY) but on the top is a picture of he and is family(garuru and his dad)

||Dororo||

-He/him, FTM, bisexual

-38(human years)

-Hes supposed to be canonically lean? no, fuck you, hes fat as hell actually

-Before coming to pekopon, he had a terrible ED, he would hardly eat or drink and this was mostly due to being psychologically abused by his mentor about being natrually plus-sized when he was training to be an assassin.

-When he came to pekopon, and became a ninja, he was able to overcome his ED and accept his body as it is. Realizing he was trans and transitioning helped a lot as well as the "ninja lifestyle".

-Also I hc that the time it took for him to reunite with the keroro platoon was significantly longer than how it was canonically (like 1 year), and when he reunited with the keroro platoon he was still struggling with body image issues relating to gender and weight. He was still in the middle of his journey of self-acceptance as well.

-Stretch marks bc I imagine that he gained a fairly large amount of weight in a short amount of time

-His hat drape thingy is much longer now(also stolen from ziv(hi ziv)) he treats it like hair sometimes

-some big ol long sharp claws❤(he likes to scratch things up like a cat, theirs a cat stretch pole at he and koyuki's place)

-Droopy eyes bc I think it makes him look silly

-PAW PADS!!!!!

||Kururu||

-He/they/ku, gender? I hardly know her, pansexual

-24(human years)

-Ku is chubby ❤ as he should be

-Hypersexual(that's from donnie hi donnie)

-SH scars from SH

-I imagine that they have quite a lot of self hatred issues and an inferiority complex. Ku hates to take care of himself bc he views themself as "undeserving" of care.

-The weird jerky uncaring asshole thing he has going on is mostly a shield so people won't see his true emotions, but also it's so people will hate him. In ku's mind if people hate him then they won't care about him, since he believes hes unworthy of it. It ends up being an toxic cycle, though, as he continues to keep up the jerk act, he believes hes more and more unworthy of love and care, so keeps it up, and so on and so forth.

EXTRA BITS:

-Kururu is the average height for civilian keronians, while dororo and giroro are around the height of soldier keronians. I hc that the keron army typically recruits taller keronians especially for on field stuff.

-I HC that keronians do croak, and keronians all have unique croaks. They typically croak when they are content, kind of like a purr but more casual. However in keronian society its considered rude to purr so most do it at home alone or with family. Croaking is kind of like a stim for keronians, they can do it as they please but sometimes they'll do it subconsciously as well

-speaking of purring keronians also purr. They purr when they feel good or are very happy. Unlike croaking they can't control purrs. What makes a keronian purr depends on the individual, sometimes a keronian has to feel really really good to purr sometimes a keronian will start purring at the drop of a dime lol

-Sometimes they knead like a cat but it's quite rare and only some do it.

(close ups of the characters)