#Lieutenant SexyPants

[ferally-ships]

A Valentine's Poem to call out all the HBO War ho's on Tumblr (aka, us). Written by my real-life partner who's dubbed himself Lieutenant Sexy-Pants.

Roses are red The army wears green Who is sexier? An Airman or Marine? Your company is Easy (except when you thirst for Topguns, Medics, or the entire 101st) But nevertheless I know deep in your heart I'm the man you've loved right from the start. Try as you might to dismiss or refute. Just accept the evidence and give me a salute. Now don't get homoerotic but kiss me still we are a unit of fun Forevermore and even still. (Love, Lt. Sexy-Pants)

[ladyideal]

Dance Floor

Pairing: Montgomery Scott x Gender Neutral!Reader

Word Count: 546

Warnings: Alcohol, fluff.

Requested By: @mournthewicked

11. Attending a Valentine’s Day party and finding an impromptu date

A/n: 🥰🥰🥰 Loved it.

Jim, why the hell am I invited to the party? I don't even want to go.

That's not how you say thank you to your Captain. - J

Jim!

Relax. I'm sure Bones had requested you to take it easy after that away mission. See you at 9. - J

You sighed, placing your comm down on your lab desk. It was the turnover between Beta and Gamma shifts, and you were exhausted after a day of isolating and identifying molecules from a previous away mission. Thanking your relief on the way out, you glanced at the chrom. 

16:10.

Less than 5 hours left to figure out a decision.

"Hey, Y/N, you going to the Valentine's party that the Captain is throwing? Heard that most of Alpha shift in Engineering are going," Your lab partner joined you on the way to the lift. "Oh, and the cakes were made by Lieutenant Orla. Those cakes are to die for."

Cakes?

"The Captain practically ordered me to go. You?" You shook your head, stepping aside for other crew members to head out before heading in. "Deck six."

"You know me. Captain Sexypants will be mine tonight." 

Silence.

You cackled up first, before your friend joined in. "Good one. I'm sure the Captain will be real impressed by that nickname."

"I'll see you at the party, Y/N. Remember to bring a date."

A date. Right. You needed one, but who could you bring? And who would be willing to become your date at this short of a notice? Entering your quarters, you changed out of your uniform and plopped face down on the bed.

As the hours passed and you've firmly decided you were just going to solo the party, you exited the quarters wearing your favorite pair of civvies. No dress up, no make up, no nothing. It was a long day at work, and you definitely didn't have the energy.

"Oh, hello Mr. Scott," You greeted as you stepped into the lift. "Going to the Captain's party?"

He nodded, despite looking uncomfortable. "Captain insisted on bringing a date."

"He said the same thing to me too," You shook your head, understanding his predicament. "Find anyone?"

Scotty merely pointed to the empty space beside him. 

"Me too." A pause. "How about we go together?"

"Together? Ye and me?" The Scottish sounded surprised at the suggestion. "I'd like that. Good thinking there…?"

"Y/N. I work at the labs on deck 8."

"Call me Scotty. Mister Scott makes me sound old."

"Shall we?" You grinned, leading Scotty out the lift and heading to the cargo deck where the party was held. Crossing in, drinks were flowing and music were pounding as people danced on the dance floor. 

"Y/N! Mister Scott! So glad to see you two here!" A very overeager blonde bounced towards you and Scotty. "Finally found a date?"

"Thank you for inviting us, Jim," You shouted above the music. 

"Thank me later, Lieutenant," The Captain hollered back before joining those on the dance floor again. Already you could see your lab mate move hopefully towards him.

"A drink, Y/N? I would love to get to know you better," Scotty turned to you.

With a nod, you decided that maybe Valentine's wasn't all that bad. 

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[star-trekkin-across-theuniverse]

Five minutes ficlet (maybe less)

“Babe, pass me that autosuture?” Dr. McCoy was clearly thinking of other things as he tended his patient. You passed the tool across to him, smirking.

“You bet, sexypants,” you replied, causing the ensign you were both tending to snort in repressed laughter. McCoy’s eyes shot up to yours. “What? You started it.”

“I did no such -“

“All due respect, Doctor McCoy, you did, sir,” the ensign interrupted. “You called her babe.”

McCoy flushed and shook his head. “Sorry, Lieutenant Y/L/N, I didn’t sleep much last night.”

“It’s okay, snookums, we all have those days,” you laughed.

[ladyideal]

49 and 200 with bones please

49. “Maybe if you actually stop staring at her and talk to her, you might have a chance.”

200. “He loves you, you know? He’s just afraid of admitting it.”

Pairing: Leonard McCoy x Reader

Word Count: 536

Warnings: A punch

A/n: Sorry for the wait! I'm working on getting the smut done by tonight, so I can have it up tomorrow. Have this little gem for now.

"You are being ridiculous, Bones," Jim grumbled. "You've been eyeballing her for months now. Months!"

"I'm not interested in her, Jim, " The brunette swirled his bourbon. "Quit giving me those puppy eyes."

"I just say it how it is," The other shrugged. "Maybe if you actually stop staring at her and talk to her, you might have a chance."

The doctor merely snorted, but his eyes snapped back at you from across the party when you moved to greet a friend. 

Finally Jim sighed, and suddenly stood up from the booth he was sharing with his best friend. "Ridiculous. I'll go tell her myself, since you're not going to anytime soon."

"Wait, Jim, no! Dammit."

You and your friend spoke quietly, away from the party. It was much too loud for your liking, and you were ready to finish your whiskey, thank Scotty for inviting you, and hit the hay.

"Hey Jim," You greeted, as the blonde swaggered confidently towards you, all the while oozing charm. "What brings you here?"

"Lieutenant, mind if I borrow our Y/N real fast?" And before your friend could even acknowledge Jim, you were tugged away by your sleeves.

"Jim, I don't wanna dance right now," You half exasperatedly, half reluctantly followed him onto the dance floor. "He's not interested. You can stop."

"I'm not spending my next two weeks watching my two best friends give lovey dovey eyes while being apart," The Captain heavily disagreed. "He loves you, you know? He’s just afraid of admitting it. I'm not giving up till you two are together."

"And what about you, Captain Sexypants? Anyone caught your eye?" You retorted, trying to flick away his hands until he gently grasped them. 

"Tonight's not about me, Y/N," He shook his head, sliding a hand to your waist. "Is he watching yet?"

"Glaring," You corrected, shifting side to side. 

Leonard was indeed glaring at your direction, watching with narrowed eyes as Jim swayed along with the beat. His hands tightened on his glass so hard that his knuckles were turning white.

"No response?"

"None," You shook your head, trying your best to stop the dance. "I don't think this is going anywhere, Jimmy. Thank you for the help, but he isn't-."

"I know what to do, but I might get punched."

Those words were all you needed to understand that he was once again, about to make a bad decision. 

"Jim, no," You cautioned. 

"Jim, yes," The smug bastard, winked at you, before leaning in for a kiss.

Instead, a glass of bourbon flew towards his head, which he ducked in time. But failed to defend against that punch that Leonard threw.

"Get your hands off her, Jim," The doctor growled as his best friend staggered backward from the force.

"Alright, alright, Bones," The Captain held his hands up in surrender. "You weren't gonna make a move, so I helped you out."

Seemingly satisfied by the answer, Leonard turned back to you with an apologetic smile. "Sorry for that, sweetheart. Dance with me?"

Over Leonard's shoulder, you grinned as Jim gave you two thumbs up and a wink before disappearing back into the crowd.

You would have to thank him for helping.

"Sure."

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