#Lies secrecy truth assessment paid

[hanzi83]

About the Public Facebook Page

When I write these blogs, I normally don’t get much reaction to these, because most part no one reads them, or in my deluded mind, no one reads it but the trolls save it under their file to use against me when it becomes convenient, depending on how irrational I am and I am just spewing whatever the fuck that comes to my mind. But since I have had this public page created, which was by accident, but the strange part of it being created, almost immediately there were several thousand likes that were there. I wonder if that was by design, since I am delusional enough to think that my life is monitored because I am a test subject for the higher ups, and since I am living a more pathetic Truman show type of a life, I don’t think anything is a coincidence.

Now I was thinking of deleting the page because I can barely maintain it, and when these things happen, I then become even more flustered with the reality check that I am not tech savvy to organize some structure to this page. I just decided to post videos time to time, and maybe links to these blogs or something I am featured on. The initial response to my first video had several thousand views, which is nothing to most credible people in the system, but for someone who is not supposed to be relevant in the social eye, I am doing okay with the numbers.

As the time went on I cancelled the deletion of the page, which was in the process of deleting, and strangely enough it takes 14 days to do that. I don’t understand why. I mean I could understand 2 days or maybe even 3 but nope 14 days? I just settled with it and cancelled. I figure I am getting a lot more viewers on this thing so why not stay. In my deep insecurity I didn’t want to start a public fan page, because sometimes my status is not supposed to be given its props, so I figured I would not get many people following. So I was shocked that even over 4000 liked it and even over 6500 people follow it. I don’t get that either, I mean you will follow but you have your hill you want to die on with setting the record straight “Well sir I will certainly follow it, but to hell with the act if liking it” like it is showing me, nonetheless. I noticed that there had to be a catch to this existing, because sometimes people try to fuck with my pages, and if you read my blogs with the amount of targeted harassment I think I deal with and how much people in my life may be secretive with stuff that has to do with me and affect me, so when something good happens in the slightest, I feel amazing but then they have to get me angry. So sometimes people spreading rumors, or making my comments now show up and then have the trolls show up to repeat the same fucking regurgitated insults that are not original or even funny.

Oh I need meds do I? Great, tell me how much of a loser I am while you are taking a break from your spouse and kids because you don’t have the balls to say that you are not happy about your predicament, so you need to come towards my cyber direction and tell me how much of a loser I am. My loser status means more in the world than most of these trolls accomplishments. It is sad but it is true, and now that this public page will be around and will continue to be unorganized as my life is, you people will show up. I will post this blog, and I bet you even though you will troll me with comments of it being useless babble and drivel, you will be reading the whole thing. I hope my grammar and spelling is not up to par, because I hope it makes your head hurt to figure out what the fuck I am trying to say.

People keep messaging me, and maybe they are pulling my leg, but they are telling me that Face Book is messaging them asking if they are sure they actually meant to like my page, and it seems like people coming to my page are being monitored or maybe it is meant to be the narrative to show me that I am supposedly becoming more of a threat, because supposedly the system doesn’t want my views to increase and sometimes they will fuck with me on this. Now that certain people on my friend’s list for my personal page can’t troll me due to the fear of being taken off my list, and then worry about me not falling for their alternate accounts which they are desperate to friend me with, you know the irrelevant and delusional loser they insist has no fucking life, so they have their accounts all accumulated for this public page.

These people will claim I am censoring people from speaking their mind, and I can blow it off a lot of the time but there are certain people who just want to fuck with me and just take shot after shot, and I know they have other accounts so I block them, and I rather do that and inconvenience them with having to switch over to another account. Maybe they have a program, but if there is any chance of inconveniencing them in any matter for what they try to do to me, I have no qualms with shutting them up for a bit, especially if everything being said is meant to completely disrespect me and add to my mental illness.

These people want me to kill myself, and they want me to attempt it so I could fail. If I fail, it becomes even sadder and then I will be evaluated so as difficult as it is not to fucking succumb to the worst case scenario and do something to myself, I have to fight it and stay strong, no matter how much they want to trigger my PTSD and make me think the worst things about myself, but they don’t realize that I can essentially assess what kind of people they are, even with the limited knowledge of what is presented to me, and it scares them to have to troll me. When the trolling schedule comes out for them, they probably get their shift switched because it might not be worth it, sure they can get me to interact with others a lot more frequently than most people targeted, due to how much certain mentally ill targets of the system are beaten down and cannot retaliate at the online harassment, while protectors of the system are the ones who hide behind fake accounts to do it and then tell these people they are mental pussies and are not real men. They don’t like that no matter how much they try to break me down, I become mentally stronger and stronger and it is even worse because seemingly I am all by myself, while everyone has every perk and technological advancement at their disposal while I am sitting in my mother’s basement still being hell of a lot more entertaining eating food on camera, or the IPHONE microphone catching my weird breathing patterns from the cigarettes I am smoking, I wish these newer phones wouldn’t pick up those grotesque sounds, but whatever, add it to another one of my flaws on an already long list, that people will continuously read back to me, in case they didn’t already know that I am aware of it like I don’t tell myself while looking in the mirror. Your insults can’t harm me as much as you think, because there is nothing that you can tell me that I don’t say to myself so I can prepare myself to go at people who try purposely to get me to attempt something on myself.

So I know this blog, since it will be on a public page, will make me anticipate the ridicule, but also maybe some of positive feedback. I pay too much attention to the negative, but like the negative assholes plan on doing, my mental illness buys into that and I start getting darker with my insults, and I feel I have to outdo myself with a limited vernacular and creativity and I have to come up with the most harsh things that I could think of that I can imagine.

So anyway, enjoy the public page. I don’t know how long people will stick around, but with blog posts like these, I don’t anticipate many to stick around and if they do, some will do it for the fandom they have for me, and a lot others will try to find more ways to drive me crazy and repeat the same questions they already have the answers to, but they need to distract me from commenting on shit and they need for me to lose my patience, so instead of the standard insults, they use distraction, and it is called “SEALIONING” for some odd reason, I could look up the entry on the internet about it, but I am already falling asleep writing this, just take my word for it, or don’t. I don’t fucking care. You are the ones reading this drivel, because you need to feel like you to take anything I do and use it for later as ammo etc. “Well he uses etc a lot, I think we may have found something to mock him with Chief” and those type of people would seem like the type of people who would say Chief, don’t fucking lie.

I don’t know where this blog is going, but let’s keep it going because you will keep reading and then pretend you didn’t read it, but then make a fake account about how horrible and delusional it is.

So….