#Lexi we need to talk about the way your write bc it’s amazing

[rav3nmuse]

Music Suggestion While Reading

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Pairing: Suguru Geto x Female Reader

Summary: Who knew it only took two seconds of spooning for your fiance to want more?

Story Warning: Smut, Vaginal Sex, Creampie (don't try this at home), Fluff, Smut, Thigh Fucking, Fingering, Suguru in loooooove,

Suguru art by: Ilameys (Twitter, IG, Patreon)

AN: Just a quick lil drabble fluff smut piece idk it was stuck in my head for days and i had to get it out so hope you like it. i literally don't even know what i put here. i'm in love with Suguru with my whole heart i NEED TO MARRY HIM IMMEDIATELY

It’s been a long day. You’re sitting in bed, frantically finishing up a work email after your shower. In the bathroom, you hear the water running, your fiance finishing up his own shower before you both turn in for the night. Your tired eyes skim through the email you’ve drafted for your client to send tomorrow. Everything looks up to par so you hit save, exiting your email app and moving on to check your social media apps. Next to your bed, the door to the bathroom opens, the warm steam of your fiance’s shower filling the room.

“Fuuuuuuucking shit, I’m so tired,” he sighs as he steps into the bedroom. He wraps a small towel around the ends of his long raven hair and squeezes, trying to get every bit of water out of his tresses before laying down. He knows how much you hate him going to sleep with wet hair.

“Satoru pissed off the higher ups at work today and I spent the whole day cleaning up his mess,” he complains as he crosses the room. “So pissed I missed our dinner because of it. I’m sorry again, love.”

You plug your phone into its charger and set it on your bedside table, slipping under the covers in your bed. Your fiance makes his way to your dresser, a towel draped loosely around his waist. It hangs just right, the sexy “V” of his hips holding your attention as he vents about his day. He turns to reach into his drawer, pulling out a pair of boxer briefs and putting them on before tossing his towels into the laundry hamper.

“I’m sorry, babe,” you say, holding out your hand to beckon your fiance to bed. A small smile spreads across his lips as he watches you, eyes full of adoration and he moves towards you. The bed dips with his added weight as he climbs on. He kisses you sweetly just before he lays down. His warm arms wrap around your figure as you snuggle closer to your fiance beneath the blankets, the warmth of his body pressed against your back only adding to your coziness. It’s been a long day for you both and you’re ready to just close your eyes. 

However, it seems your fiance has other plans in mind.

“Suguru…” you murmur as he tightens his hold on you. “I thought you were tired.”

He hums behind you, burying his face in the crook of your neck, planting soft kisses along your skin. “I am, baby, but I haven’t seen you all day. I just missed you.” His voice is a whisper, husky and wanting and you know you won’t be getting any sleep any time soon. Suguru’s hand ghosts along the side of your body, until it rests on the curve of your hips. He squeezes gently as his lips graze the shell of your ear. His warm breath fans across your face and you melt, already feeling your body react to his touch.

Suguru grips your waist before rolling his hips up against your ass and you gasp softly, feeling how hard he already is when he’s barely touched you. 

“Missed you so much today. I had to stop myself from stroking my dick in the shower thinking about you,” Suguru admits. “Wanted to wait until I could get you like this.” His confession stokes a fire in your belly, your arousal already dripping into your panties.

It’s always like this. Takes absolutely nothing for you two to get started, your natural attraction to each other pulling you together like magnets the moment you’re in the same room.

“Suguru,” you sigh, reaching back to snake your fingertips into Suguru’s damp hair as he licks your pulse point, biting gently and earning a soft gasp from you. With a smirk, he rolls his hips forward again, evidence of his arousal pressing into your ass.

“Hmm?” Suguru hums, licking, biting and sucking at your neck until you’re writhing and the sounds of you panting fill the air.

“Suguru, touch me…” You can feel how hot you are through your panties, how your arousal is beginning to soak through the fabric. And Suguru can too because when his fingers slide beneath the waistband of your clothes and to your slick folds, his mouth falls open slightly.

“I’ve barely touched you. You’re soaked, baby,” he marvels. “Shit, take these off or you’re gonna ruin them.” He slips his hand out of your shorts and tugs them down your legs until they’re low enough for you to kick them off. When you’re settled again, Suguru brings his mouth to your ear and runs his tongue along the shell. “I want you so fucking bad right now, you have no idea.”

You let out a whine that quickly turns into a moan when you feel Suguru slip his hand between your legs again. Your eyes sink closed as you breathe deeply, reveling in the feeling of Suguru’s fingertips brushing against your cunt. Suguru kisses his way up your neck, the sharp edges of his teeth grazing your skin until his lips brush against your ear once more.

“Wanna make you feel good tonight, baby,” he whispers to you, his fingers deftly finding your clit and circling the nub.

“Please, ah- Suguru, yes. Make me feel good,” you whimper.

Suguru grunts behind you. “Fuck, baby,” he groans, as he grinds against you again.

You let go of your hold on Suguru’s hair, hand finding his wrist and holding tight.

“You like that, baby?” He asks, voice rough with need.

You nod, another moan rushing past your lips when Suguru rolls his hips against your ass again and again.

“Use your words, baby.”

“Yes, shit, yes, Suguru. I love it,” you mewl, your grip tightening around his wrist.

At the sound of his name on your tongue, Suguru’s fingers slide into you. You moan, back arching on reflex as your walls clench around him. Your ass presses against Suguru’s cock and he rolls his hips forward again, moaning in return. Suguru increases his pace, his finger brushing against your center. You can feel the wetness pool between your legs, spreading between your thighs as Suguru’s hand brings you closer and closer to your peak. 

Then suddenly, he stops.

Your eyes snap open as you feel Suguru pull away, your body shivering at the loss of his warmth. You hear him shuffling around behind you for a few seconds, followed by the sound of a soft thud. In the dim lighting of the room, you can’t tell what just hit the floor. 

And then Suguru is back, body pressed against you again and you know. You feel the heat of his bare skin pressing against you, the thickness and length of his hard cock, sticky with precum sitting against your ass. Your heart races in anticipation of him filling you, stretching you deliciously and then fucking you until you can’t see straight. 

But he doesn’t. 

“Lift your leg a little for me,” he commands. And you do, spreading your legs and shuddering when you hear the smack of your soaked thighs separating. “So fucking wet,” Suguru coos as he adjusts himself to lay back on his side. “Just for me.” You feel him press his cock to your core and you shiver, waiting for him to push into you. Instead, he puts a hand on your lifted leg and pushes your legs closed.

You’re confused. He just wants to put his dick between your thighs? That’s…new.

“Suguru, what are you doing?” You ask, turning to look at him. He gives you a smug grin as he peers down at you, swiping his hand over his forehead to move sweaty strands away.

“Told you I wanted to make you feel good.” He doesn’t elaborate yet, just presses closer and shifts his hips until his length sits right between your folds, hot and heavy against your clit. “I want you to fuck yourself on my cock until you cum.”

Your core throbs with excitement. You’re happy to oblige, but –

“What about you?” You question.

Suguru leans forward, pressing a kiss to your temple. “We’ll worry about me later.”

His large hand finds your hips again and he pushes you forward slowly before he pulls you back into him. Like this, you feel every ridge and vein of Suguru’s cock slide back and forth across your clit and you gasp loudly at this new sensation. It feels incredible.

“Oh–” you breathe.

“Feel good, baby?”

“Yes…so, so good.”

Suguru rolls your hips forward and back again, moaning roughly as he kisses your jaw. The feeling is otherworldly, Suguru’s length stroking your nub just right with every roll of your hips. It’s hard to breathe as your release inches closer and closer with each thrust. The room fills with your moans and Suguru keeps pushing and pulling you into hips until the sound that emits from between your legs is downright sinful. 

“You’re so wet, it’s driving me fucking insane,” he grunts, his hand coming up to grab your breast through the fabric of your shirt. He runs his thumb over the hardened bud, grinning when you gasp.

“I’m gonna…ah- gonna cum, Suguru, I’m so close.”

“Cum baby, cum on my cock. Fuck it until you cream all over it,” Suguru groans as he presses his face into the crook of your neck. He smacks your ass, earning a sharp cry from you, but the pain only adds to the delicious pleasure that shoots through your body as your release crashes over you.

Your thighs clamp down around Suguru’s cock, squeezing and trembling as your orgasm rips through you. Suguru pulls his face from your neck to watch as you lose yourself in the moment and he thinks about how damn beautiful you are when you’re all fucked out like this. So pretty when you’re a good girl and cum all over his cock when he asks you to. This is what he’s held out for. He loves to cum with you, but he loves to watch you come undone more.

Suguru loves the way your eyes close, and your mouth falls open with tiny gasps as you let the sensation wash over you. He loves the way he can feel your pussy throbbing against him as you cum. Loves the way he can feel your hole twitching, clenching around nothing, trying desperately to suck him in and –

Fuck he’s gonna cum.

The feeling shoots up his spine in a rush and it’s by sheer luck that Suguru is able to pull his hips back and push his entire length into you easily, so wet from your release. You moan loudly, the feeling of him filling you, stretching you so deliciously so intense that it rips another orgasm from you before you’ve had time to catch your breath.

And Suguru is right there with you. His mouth falls open, loud groans mixing with your cries as he bottoms out over and over, filling you with thick, hot ropes of his cum. He kisses your temple as he pumps you full, breathing sweet words to you.

“I can never get enough of you…fucking love you…can’t wait to marry you,” he grunts, pushing into you, trying to bury his cock as deep as he can. “Can’t wait to make you my wife. Can’t wait to put a ring on your finger, put a baby in you, make you mine forever.”

He moans into your hair, still fucking into you slowly, draining himself of everything he has to offer. “God, you’re so fucking tight. Greedy little cunt is sucking me in so deep. Such a good girl for me, taking all my cum. Fuck, you’re so good to me, baby.”

You can’t do anything but try to catch your breath, chest rapidly rising and falling as you come down from your release with Suguru. When you’re both able to breathe again, Suguru kisses you sweetly on your cheek as he lays back down. He wraps his arms around your form, pressing himself into your back.

“Ugh, we should shower,” you insist, feeling both your cum mixing between your thighs. It makes you shiver. “I won’t be able to sleep until I get cleaned up.”

Suguru sits up excitedly, a dumb smirk on his face. “Good. We can make a mess one more time, then.”

You laugh as your fiance climbs on top of you, settling between your legs and you can feel he’s already hard again. “Suguru…”

“Didn’t I say I could never get tired of you?” He says, brown eyes full of lust and love. And you love him, your future husband. “So yes or no?”

“Yes, always yes,” you tell him, pulling him down for a deep kiss, tongues tangling together as Suguru pushes into you one more time.

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[malka-lisitsa]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Send me ❤ on anon and I’ll compliment someone at random!

This was an unreasonable amount to send in a single ask christ.

@tricursed good god sometimes i see your stuff and im just like... damn so thats what koala tea's definition is huh? You care so much about hope and you put so much into her. I love seeing her on my dash. Idk a damn thing about legacies but im so invested in her bc of you.

@imundus I've seen a fair few megs but yours is my fave for sure. I also loved your Wenny when she was up and running. You have such a knack for bad ass women, guess it takes one to know one ;)

@stanfordprepped JARED THE SWEETEST SAMMY GOLDEN HEART FR. My fellow digidestined you are one of the rarest gems ive ever met. I miss talking to you. Your take on sam and forester are marvelous and I adore you with every bone in my body.

@snnydcys MAY DEMI SMILE UPON THEE. Literally youre so sweet Lumi and i love all of the characters ive had the pleasure of interacting with. Your Kate, and sunny are top tier <3

@therelentless I am obsessed with your boy. Katherine doesnt understand him and shes made a few snap judgements for sure that are wildly off base- but I adore how you write him. The perfect balance of everything.

@iviaw I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH I LOVE THAT YOUR OC IS A ROUGAROU. They are so DIFFERENT from what you se in mainstream media even tho LITERALLY most "werewolves" TVD INCLUDED have rougarous not werewolves but I digress.... Your Oc is amazing, I love everything about him MORE INTERACTIONS.

@r4chelamber This girl is chaos in all the best ways. I love seeing your posts on my dash and seeing what nonsense shes gotten into now.

@faiththesinfulslayer MY BABY. MY GIRL. MY HOMIE. MY BAD BITCH I MISS YOU. You are my FAVE Faith and my exclusive for a reason. Katherine will not entertain the THOUGHT of a different faith. Will literally curse me and my bloodline if i even think about it.

@demonstigma STOP BC I LOVE??? SEEING YOU?? We don't really interact but my dash should never not have you on it. I wholly enjoy seeing ya boi out there doing everything from A to Z.

@noblehcart You play such a wide range of muses and your thirst for knowledge would make Odin blush. I really love seeing you here and there, and Katherine obviously is still fully invested in getting grumpy Stefan.

@aalexias I LOVE LEXI first of all, second you play her so well i adore seeing her around. I cannot WAIT for some more interaction between her and Katherine. Its what the world deserves.

@bloodiedfxngs MY BOIS. ALL OF THEM. ALL MY BOIS. I love how you write tyler, jeremy, Stefan, MASON. (we need more with them tbh) And while I have not interacted with your girls I am sure they are just as quality <333 bc you are <333

@pierprincess Not many ppl can revive a whole fandom. God damn the power you hold, and its VERY CLEAR WHY in the way you write Star. Chefs kiss flawless.

@pohlepen YA BITCH A QUEEN. STRAIGHT UP. I LOVE your OC I have seen NOTHING ELSE LIKE HER shes so unapologetic and bad ass and I just- Katherine is gonna keep her <3 You had her at birthday head ;P

[watchmegetobsessed]

Failed, Faked, Fallen - Harry Styles

a/n: this story was a pain in the ass, not gonna lie and i really thought i would just end up deleting the whole thing but I MADE IT TO THE END YAY so now please take the time to read bc it literally made me want to jump off a cliff lol

special thanks to @pastequeharry​ for putting up with me throught the writing process, she is the reason i didn’t just delete the whole thing haha

pairing: Fratboy!Harry x Reader (fake dating AU)

word count: 16.6k

masterlist

Tonight has been in the making for ten years. Every fiber in your body is protesting against it, but you just can’t carry this massive secret around any longer. You need to tell your best friend that you are in love with him, have been since middle school when you first met him. It’s a scary thing to come clean about your feelings for someone, but you feel like it’s now or never.

Your friendship with Oliver has been always a little… blurry. You were just regular friends when he was dating someone, but whenever he was single, he seemed to seek comfort and intimacy with you. It always starts with him getting a little more touchy and cuddly with you, then comes the kissing and hugging, his hands wandering to places friends shouldn’t explore and you somehow always end up in a bed…  

Then it would immediately change once he got himself a girlfriend and you figured he has just been confused about his feelings for you. It has to be that, right? These past few weeks the situation was the same. He broke up with this girl he was seeing all summer before you all came back to school and you think this is the perfect time to finally talk about what’s really going on between the two of you.

Your roommate, Sandra has helped you with your makeup for tonight’s frat party and now you are deciding on the dress. You want to look your best so when Oliver confesses his love for you tonight, you’ll look as dreamy and pretty as you always dreamed about.

“The black one is fucking mint,” Sandra points at the black bodycon dress lying on your bed. “I can give you my red leather jacket,” she offers, finishing up putting her hoop earrings in.

“The red jacket?” you eye her in surprise. Sandra loves that jacket more than her own life. The two of you have been sharing your clothes since you became roommates last year, but the jacket has been off limits always.

“I know how important tonight is for you. The occasion deserves the red jacket,” she chuckles, stepping to her wardrobe to get the jacket. It’s the most badass leather jacket you’ve ever seen, looks so perfect on Sandra every time she wears, you feel honored she is letting you take it for the day.

“Oliver won’t be able to keep his eyes off of you,” she smiles at you excited once you’re all dressed. The jacket looks amazing, pulls the look together perfectly, you can’t deny that.

Soon enough, the two of you leave the dorm and head in the way of Kappa Chi, that’s only a fifteen minute walk away from your dorm. They are having a party almost every other week, those boys would celebrate the stupidest shit just to fill their house up with people and booze as much as possible. You and Sandra have been attending their parties since first year, it’s always a great way to unwind after a tiring week at uni.

“When is he coming?” Sandra asks over the music once you two arrive and head to the kitchen for a drink.

“Um, he texted me ten minutes ago that he is about to leave soon. He’ll be here shortly,” you tell her and thank her when she hands you a beer in a red solo cup.

The house is packed, just like always. Most of the football players from school are member of Kappa Chi, so naturally, all girls want to be around when they are throwing a party. You could say they are the popular guys, but it’s not like in the movies. They are just some particularly handsome guys living together, attracting a lot of girls. They are not at all unreachable, you are kind of friends with a few of them as well even without being a sorority girl yourself.

Standing in the kitchen you get into a conversation with a few girls from your dorm, that’s when you see Harry Styles storm through the house, Naomi Saddler following behind him, seemingly very much in the middle of a fight he doesn’t want to take part in. You know Harry, but you couldn’t say you two are that close. You did a group project last year together and he is actually a really smart guy despite the gossips about him just being a dumb womanizer. He surely is a ladies’ favorite, but you wouldn’t say the description fits him. You haven’t actually seen him with more than three girls since freshman year, unlike some of his other teammates that hook up with a different girl every weekend. He and Naomi have been in this on-off relationship for a few months now, but you don’t know much about them. You don’t run in the same groups to know the details.

The two of them disappear upstairs and you are pulled out of your thoughts when someone asks you a question, so you forget about Harry and Naomi in a blink of an eye.

An hour passes and still no sign of Oliver and you start to feel anxious. You shoot him a text, struggling a little with the typing thanks to the alcohol you’ve been consuming to keep your cool. Surprisingly, he answers right away.

Oliver: Be there in 3. Meet me outside?

Y/N: Sure!

“Alright, wish me luck,” you tell Sandra as you fill your cup again and head outside.

Kappa Chi has a nice backyard with a decent sized pool, some beerpong tables and lots of lounge chairs. You walk past the beerpong games, paying no attention to them at all as you go for an empty lounge chair. You sit down, fix your dress nervously and wait while you try to think through what you’ll tell him.

You can’t believe you are finally telling him how you are feeling. Your teenager self would be peeing herself is she knew what you are planning to do now. All those years of pining and crying whenever Oliver had a girlfriend in the past, now is your chance to finally be that girl and you’re actually quite convinced he’ll say he feels the same way about you.

Fidgeting with one of the zippers on Sandra’s jacket, you nervously wait for Oliver to show up. You look in the direction of the backdoor right when he appears from the crowd inside. Your heart skips a beat as you stand up quickly, a smile tugging on your lips. You are just about to wave in his way to catch his attention when you see some brunette by his side… holding his hand. And then she kisses him shortly right before they step out of the house.

What the fuck?! This cannot be true. Who is she? And why do you know nothing about her? Did Oliver keep it a secret that he is dating someone? But why?!

For a moment you actually feel like you are about to faint. Blood rushes out of your head as you see the couple walk their way around the beerpong tables, Oliver obviously looking for you, but you can’t bring yourself to move.

“Y/N! There you are!” he beams happily, pulling the brunette with him when he finally spots you. You need a moment for yourself to get over the first wave of your shock.

“Oh, yeah! Hi!” you smile awkwardly, eyes meeting with the girl’s. She is so pretty and actually seems nice. You hate her for that.

“Y/N, I want you to meet Lexi,” Oliver introduces the brunette. “Lexi, this is Y/N.”

“I’ve heard so much about you, Y/N!” she smiles, pulling you into a hug that catches you off guard for sure.

“Wow, I… wish I could say the same,” you bitterly reply, eyes meeting Oliver’s once Lexi lets go of you. He is clearly uncomfortable at your comment, but tries to mask it quickly.

“Yeah, I’m sorry I haven’t had the chance to tell you about Lexi. But it’s kind of new.”

“How new?”

“We’ve been going out for about three weeks,” she answers your question, her hand finding his pretty quickly as she smiles up at him with so much adoration.

“Oh,” is all you manage to get out for a moment. You still haven’t completely processed that your plan just went straight out the window and that once again, Oliver chose another girl over you.

But then, the more you think about it, the angrier you get. You are tired of this stupid game you two have been playing, but you also have no idea what to do about it.

“I thought that Y/N, if you have a boyfriend, we could maybe go on some double dates! Would be so much fun!” Lexi suggests, but her words make your stomach churn. You have always wanted to go on double dates, but with Oliver being your date. Not someone else’s…

“I uhh… I don’t…” You are so frozen, you can’t even think of an answer, you just want to leave as soon as possible, so you can cry yourself to sleep. Oliver brings an arm around Lexi’s shoulders, looking down at you as if he wasn’t cuddling you just not that long ago. As if he wasn’t preaching your beauty a few weeks ago, making you feel like the only girl in the world. This is so not fair.

“Y/N is not a fan of double dates.”

Suddenly, an arm swings around your shoulders and a tall body stands next to you, pulling you to his side. Turning your head you are shocked to see Harry standing there, smiling at Oliver and Lexi as if this discussion was completely his business.

Oliver seems just as shocked as you are. He is staring at the football player by your side with wide eyes.

“Wait, you two are… dating?”

“It’s pretty new, but yeah. Y/N and I have been going out for a while. Right, baby?” He squeezes your arm, glancing down at you and when your eyes meet, he gives you a look that says ‘just go with it, I’m saving your ass’ and you decide to play your part.

“Oh, umm, yeah. We’ve kind of reconnected when we got back after the summer,” you nod, hoping that your voice doesn’t give you away.

“That’s amazing!” Lexi cheers, clearly eating up the impromptu lie, but as you glance at Oliver, you can tell he is sceptic.

“I didn’t even know you were friends in the first place,” he comments, eyebrows furrowed a little as he eyes Harry’s hand on your shoulder.

“We were! We had a great time working on a group project last year and then later I asked for her number. But the summer was so busy for both of us, so we kind of fell out, but then we met again in September and I finally manned up to ask her out.”

You are impressed by how easily Harry is lying. If you didn’t know it wasn’t true, you would eat it up just as easily as Lexi is doing right now. Especially because his body language matches up with what he is saying so well. He is keeping you close, fingers dancing on your upper arm and shoulder, anyone would think he actually has a thing for you, but you know that’s not true. You two are barely even friends.

“That sounds so nice. We definitely should meet up sometime, the four of us!” Lexi suggests again and you stop yourself from rolling your eyes.

“We’ll see about that. But I’ll have to steal Y/N away now, I have something to show her.” Harry bids his goodbye quickly, pulling you away before Oliver could even say a thing and you just blindly follow him inside the house.

You don’t even process what’s happening. Harry takes your hand, pulling you through the crowd and you catch Sandra’s gaze who is still standing in the kitchen, her eyes widening when she sees you with Harry. You just shrug in confusion, following Harry upstairs until he leads you into a room that, you assume, is his.

When he shuts the door closed, the noises of the party gets muffled and you look at him with probably the stupidest look ever.

“Alright, let me explain myself,” he breathes out. “I’m sorry if I stepped over some boundaries, I just… I was outside and heard the conversation. Thought I would help you out.”

“But what made you think I needed help?” you ask. The conversation was very innocent for an outsider. He couldn’t know what you were planning to do, so why did he think you needed his help?

Harry gives you a tight-lipped smile, cocking his head to the side.

“Y/N, we might not be close friends, but I’ve seen you around with Oliver. It’s written on your forehead that you have the fattest crush on the guy.”

“What?!” you snap, feeling your cheeks heating up. “Is this really that obvious?!”

“Don’t worry, seems like he is one of the few that don’t seem to notice it. I saw how uncomfortable you were when he introduced the girl. Seemed like you needed the help.”

Nodding you take a few seconds to process everything that just happened. You shouldn’t have drunk that much, because now your brain has to work even harder to put the picture together.

“Alright, but… now they think that we are dating. Lexi will want to meet up with us and it will look stupid if we never even show up again together.”

Harry nods, his lips rolling into his mouth and you know just from his look that there’s more.

“Yeah, about that. I might have had some selfish reasons behind my actions as well.”

“What do you mean?”

Harry walks past you, over to his bed and sits on the edge, leaning forward to rest his arms on his thighs. You’re not sure what to do with yourself, if you should sit next to him or somewhere else, he has a few beanbags in the corner of his room, but you decide to just keep standing.

“So, I don’t know if you know this but I had this thing with Naomi Saddler.”

“Harry, everyone knows it.”

“Right, yeah,” he chuckles awkwardly. “So the thing is, we have broken up a long time ago, but she keeps coming after me and I’m just so over it. So when we were fighting earlier today I told her that I’m dating someone else so I would appreciate if she left me alone.”

He doesn’t need to say more, you finally see the whole picture. He helped you because he felt sorry for you, but also because he thought it would benefit him as well. You could be his new girlfriend so Naomi would finally let him be. You have to admit, it’s a lucky coincidence, but still, the situation is a little absurd for your liking.

“So… what are we supposed to do now?” you ask, tilting your head to the side. Harry looks up at you, seemingly surprised you haven’t snapped at him.

“Well, I know it sounds crazy, but I think we both would benefit from it if we just… pretended to be a couple,” he clears off.

“Like, a real couple?”

“Well, obviously not real, but it would look real to others,” he chuckles, standing up and taking a few steps closer to you. “I know it sounds stupid, but I’m convinced we could pull it off.”

“We barely know each other.”

“We’ll have plenty of time for that, won’t we?” he asks with a boyish smirk. “Look, we just have to appear together here and there. I’ll pick you up sometimes, we can go for lunch or dinner sometimes, and I’ll get you tickets for some of my games. That’s it. People will see us out together and that’s gonna be perfectly enough. Or do you actually hate me? Now is the time to tell me.”

“I don’t hate you, I don’t know you that well,” you reply with a soft chuckle. “But I’m not convinced enough this is a good idea at all.”

Harry sighs and walks closer until he can rest his hands on your shoulders. You look deep into his green eyes as he smiles at you warmly.

“Let’s make a deal. You can use me as an excuse whenever Oliver and Lexi wants to hang out with you, or if they actually force you to meet them, I’ll go with you so you won’t be the third wheel. And you’ll just have to say that I’m your boyfriend and spend some time with me so Naomi believes I’m dating you. I think it’s a fair deal for the both of us. And you can call it off anytime, I don’t want to force you to do anything you don’t want to.”

You chew on your bottom lip, thinking hard to figure out what to do. Judging from this short conversation with Lexi, you’re sure she’ll try to keep you around often, but you are not in the mood to watch Oliver be all lovey-dovey with someone else, so you could actually use a solid excuse, which Harry just offered you on a silver plate. You just have to spend some time with him in exchange and tell people he is your boyfriend. It’s not that horrible and you always thought Harry is nice company, you two just never was in the same friend group to get closer. You can’t really bring up anything against his plan.

“Okay,” you finally nod, Harry’s eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

“Really?”

“Why are you so shocked? Your points were valid, I’m willing to give it a try.”

“Yes! Thank you!” he cheers, arms wrapping around you as he hugs you tight in excitement. “I’ll be the best boyfriend you’ve ever had, you won’t be disappointed!”

You want to say how it’s easy to be the best because you’ve had none so far, but you decide to keep this information to yourself.

“We need to get our story straight though, so we don’t mess it up when someone asks.”

The two of you go over an elaborate timeline of your nonexistent relationship so you’ll be able to tell the same story. It’s the same he told Lexi and Oliver outside, you just agree on the details, like when you started dating, how he asked you out, what you’ve been doing as a couple lately.

When you leave his room a little later you’re still a tad bit shocked where this evening ended up heading. You really thought tonight would be the turning point for you and Oliver, but now you are in a fake relationship with Harry Styles, ready to fool everyone around you.

Walking down the stairs Harry takes your hand and laces your fingers together. You agreed on no kissing on the lips for now, but other touching is allowed, you’re just not used to have someone other than Oliver touch you like this.

“Want another drink?” he asks as the two of you walk into the kitchen. You’ve already caught some wide-eyed look upon your arrival, but you’re trying your best to ignore them.

“I surely need it,” you nod, making Harry chuckle.

Sandra and the other girls are still in the kitchen and she immediately pulls you to the side when Harry lets go of you to get drinks.

“What the fuck?!” she snaps, clearly a little drunk, but not enough to ignore the fact that she has seen you now two times holding Harry’s hand.

“Sandra, don’t freak out, I’ll explain it all when we go home, alright? But… as far as you know, Harry and I are dating.”

“You what? You better fucking tell me everything when we get back to the dorm!” she demands right when Harry appears, two cups in his hands, giving you one of them.

“Here,” he smiles warmly.

“Thank you. Harry, this is Sandra, my roommate.”

“Hi, I think I’ve seen you around, but we just never met.” Harry holds out his now empty hand and Sandra shakes it with a dramatic smile, clearly still confused about the situation.

“Yeah, but I guess we’ll be… seeing each other more?” she implies, telling Harry she knows something is up without using those words.

“Ehm, I guess,” he nods, a little uncomfortable before he turns to you. “Alright, I’ll get out of your hair. Let me know when you want to go back to the dorm.” “Sure,” you nod, Harry squeezes your hand gently before moving away.

Sandra is dying to know what the situation is with Harry, but you don’t really have the chance to talk in the middle of the party, so it’s postponed to later. You and Harry do your own thing through the rest of the night, occasionally interacting whenever you cross paths. When that happens he makes sure to touch your arm or face, have a few words with you so people see that the two of you have a thing going on.

It’s a little past one am when you and Sandra decide it’s time to head home. As promised, you shoot Harry a text that you’re planning to leave and he replies with one saying he’ll meet you outside at the front. By the time you and Sandra step outside, he is already there waiting.

“Ladies, let me walk you home,” he smirks charmingly, offering his arm for the both of you, so this is how you head home: you, Sandra and Harry walking side by side with linked arms.

“Mm, Harry, I hope you know you won’t be spending the night in our room,” Sandra sighs, clearly a little too lost in her drunk thoughts. Harry chuckles, finding it amusing that Sandra is so blunt.

“Weren’t planning to.”

“Good. I’m not gonna listen to you guys have sex all night.”

“Sandra!” you snap at her, gasping. It’s funny how she also believed the little act you and Harry put up tonight.

The walk back to the dorm is short and it’s mostly filled with Sandra’s babbling about whatever catches her attention. Arriving to the building Sandra says her goodbye to Harry, heading up to the room on her own so you can have a minute with Harry.

“I’ve had at least ten people coming up to me tonight, asking about you,” Harry tells you, an excited sparkle in his eyes.

“Really? And what did you tell them?”

“What we agreed on. That you’re my girlfriend.”

“Sounds so weird,” you admit with a chuckle.

“You’ll get used to it,” he nods smiling. “Well, I���m gonna head back. I’ll talk to you later, okay? We’ll discuss the dates and all.”

“Very romantic,” you point out smirking, but Harry just laughs before he gives you a quick hug.

“Good night, Y/N. Or should I say, baby?”

“Bye!” you sing waving in his way as you walk into the building.

It’s no surprise that Sandra is already out when you walk into the room. Her clothes are in a pile next to her bed, but she managed to throw on at least a t-shirt before she passed out. You just smile at her before doing your quick night routine and go to sleep yourself.

“So… you are fake dating Harry, because Oliver introduced you his new girlfriend and also because he is trying to get rid of Naomi? Am I getting this right?”

Sandra narrows her eyes at you over her morning coffee the next day, though it’s already past noon. Waking up was a little painful for the both of you, but especially for her, the two of you decided to treat yourselves for a very late brunch while you tell her everything she needs to know about last night.

“Yeah,” you nod, taking a bite from your waffles. “I know, it sounds stupid, but… it can easily work great for the both of us.”

“I can’t believe he just came up with it. You guys are not even really friends.”

“I know, I was shocked when he appeared all of a sudden and called me baby. Almost fainted,” you chuckle.

“I hope you know you’ll be one of the most envied girls in school if the news spread and I’m sure it will, because even I heard people talking about you and Harry last night.”

“I know, but there’s not much I can do about that,” you shrug.

“I feel like it’s the plotline of some teenage rom-com,” Sandra huffs. “Just be careful, Y/N,” she sighs, finishing off her coffee.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that pretending can easily turn into reality. If you’ll spend so much time with Harry, there’s a chance you’ll develop real feelings for him. Just make sure you won’t end up with a broken heart.”

“That’s silly, I won’t fall for Harry. I…” You cut your words, thoughts wandering over to Oliver right away, and how you felt when he introduced you to Lexi.

“I hope you’re right,” Sandra tells you, stuffing the last bits of her muffin into her mouth.

The weekend flies by fast, you busy yourself with doing laundry and finishing a paper you need to turn in soon. Harry text you on Sunday that he’ll walk you to class on Monday morning and you agree to meet up a little earlier so you can actually talk it all out.

Sandra is still in bed when you leave in the morning. Just as Harry promised, he is waiting for you in front of the building, wearing his usual black skinny jeans and a loose grey shirt and a zip-up hoodie. His curls look untamed, a little all over the place, but it looks good on him. You have to admit, that he is definitely handsome, you understand why so many of the girls at school are after him.

“Good morning, girlfriend,” he smirks, holding out his hand for you that you take, still feeling a little weird about walking around campus hand in hand with him.

“Good morning. How was your weekend?”

“Pretty boring, we had to clean up after the party,” he chuckles. “Wanna grab a coffee?”

“Sounds perfect.”

You swing by the little café that’s on campus before aiming for a bench under one of the pergolas near the main building.

“So, you still haven’t changed your mind,” he speaks up. It’s not a question, more like a comment.

“Not yet,” you chuckle softly, sipping on your cappuccino.

“I meant it that you can tell me whenever you want out. I don’t want to force you into it in any way.”

“I know,” you smile at him. “I’m fine for now. It’s just still a little weird.”

“I know, but I’m kind of happy you are the one I’m doing this with.”

“How come?”

“I don’t know, you seem like a cool person. I actually enjoyed working with you last year on that project, you are funny and smart, I think we’ll get along pretty well.”

“Really?”

“Of course,” he smirks at you, taking a sip from his coffee. “You know, if I’m being honest I never understood why you and that Oliver guy were so close anyway. You’ve known him for a long time?”

“Yeah, met him in middle school and we’ve been friends since then.”

“And how long have you been… you know,” he implies, seemingly very careful not to ask something that would upset you.

“Pretty much ever since I’ve met him,” you admit with an awkward chuckle. It sounds so embarrassing to admit that you’ve been in love with your best friend for so long and never worked up the courage to do something about it.

“You never even tried to tell him?”

“I was too afraid of his reaction. I was planning to come clean at the party finally, but then he arrived with Lexi and… you know the rest.”

“I’m sorry. I know how shitty it is when you have feelings for someone and they don’t feel the same about you.”

“So what’s the situation with you and Naomi then?” you ask, thinking it’s only fair if you also know his story now that you confessed him how ridiculous you’ve been with Oliver all your life.

“We dated at the end of last semester, tried to keep it up in the summer as well, but it didn’t work. It made me realize I don’t even want it to work so I told her that we should just go our separate ways when I got back after the summer, but she wasn’t a fan of my idea.”

“She’s still in love with you?”

“I’m not sure if she ever was,” he truthfully answers. “I think she liked the idea of dating someone more than she liked me.”

“I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t be,” he smirks at you playfully. “I’m all good. I just wish she could accept that I want to move on. It’s not ideal that I have to fake date someone to get rid of her.”

“She always seemed like a nice girl to me, I wouldn’t have guessed she can be so stubborn.”

“Well, she is a nice girl,” Harry nods. “We were just not compatible on the long run, you know? I couldn’t see it work in the future, so I didn’t want to waste more time on it.”

You just shyly nod, even though you don’t really know about it. You can’t, because you’ve never been in a similar situation. You’ve had a few attempts at dating in high school, but they never turned out the way you wanted and you always ended up pining after Oliver at the end, so you eventually gave up. But you’re not willing to admit that to Harry. It’s pathetic enough that you’ve been so hung up on Oliver your whole life, he doesn’t need to know that you gave up your whole dating life for the wait for him.

“Well, aren’t we a nice pair then? Two ridiculously failed love stories, how tragic,” Harry chuckles softly as he finishes up his coffee and throws the empty cup into the bin next to him.

“Yeah, pathetic,” you agree with a tight-lipped smile.

It takes some time for word to travel, but by the end of the first week of your fake relationship, it becomes a well-known fact that you are indeed dating Harry Styles. You don’t overdo it though, only meeting up once or twice a day, Harry usually walks you to your classes in the morning if he doesn’t have a lecture himself, you’ve had lunch together twice and you went to the library on Thursday together. It’s been pretty casual and you’ve been actually enjoying spending time with Harry, especially because it seems like Oliver has fallen off the face of Earth lately, barely even talking to you.

The more time you spend with Harry the more you realize he is nothing like others try to make him look like. You’ve heard many gossips about him being an empty-headed womanizer, but he is a lot smarter than people assume him to be, but he has proven it before as well. He actually has a great point of view of life and it’s nice to discuss basically anything with him.

Friday brings another party and though you didn’t plan on going, you had Sandra and Harry convincing you this time. Then later Oliver texted you asking if you’d be there and it angered you a little. He barely spoke to you and is now asking if you are coming to the party where he’ll probably keep ignoring you for Lexi. So you told him you and Harry would be there. He didn’t reply to that.

You and Sandra call an Uber, the Omega house is a little farther away from the dorm than the Kappa house. Harry called you to tell you he’d be a little late this time because they are having a double practice today, but he would come and find you when he arrives.

“Isn’t it a little weird you can’t hook up with anyone because of the Harry situation?” Sandra asks as the two of you make your way through the spacious living room, heading to the empty loveseat in the corner.

“As if I did a lot of hooking up before,” you scoff, taking a sip from your drink.

“Okay, but you could be doing it now, but you can’t, because people would think you’re cheating.”

“It’s a good thing then that I’m not into hooking up,” you point out with a shrug. You were never a fan of just hooking up with someone and then move on the next morning, that’s just not for you. It’s not a big deal that you are kind of out of the dating scene because of your arrangement with Harry, you don’t feel like you’re missing out on anything.

The two of you are joined by a few peers from one of Sandra’s classes and you barely even notice when Oliver and Lexi arrive, however, they immediately spot you.

“Y/N! Hi! So good to see you again!” Lexi greets you, pulling you into a completely unnecessary hug.

“Oh, hi. Good to see you too, I guess,” you chuckle awkwardly. Oliver gives you a side hug as well, but it seems like he is not entirely present in his head.

“Where’s Harry?” Oliver questions.

“He’ll be here soon, he just had double practice today,” you tell him and he nods shortly, but something feels off about him.

Lexi makes you come to the kitchen with them so she can get a drink and you can’t really think of a reason why you shouldn’t, so you find yourself listening to her nonstop chatter while Oliver is mixing them something to drink.

Y/N: Harry, SOS! When are you getting here?? I’m stuck with O and L…

You really hope he is somewhere close, because you’re not sure how long you can put up with their company.

“I know last time you said you’re not a fan of double dates, but I really think we should give it a try!” Lexi begs you, she even puts her bottom lip at you and it annoys you how she can’t just leave you to be.

“Yeah, I would love to get to know Harry better,” Oliver chimes in.

“You do?”

Relief washes over you the moment you hear Harry’s voice coming from behind you, a moment later you feel his palm on the small of your back and you’re finally rescued. He smells like fresh body wash, he surely just had a shower right before he came here. You let yourself lean into his side, curling an arm around his waist.

“Harry, nice to see you again,” Oliver smiles at him dryly and now you’re sure something is up with him, but what is it?

“Sorry I’m so late. Everything alright?” Harry looks you in the eyes and you know his question is more than just him being nice. He wants to know if Oliver and Lexi has driven you up the walls.

“I’m… fine, yeah,” you nod and he holds your gaze for another moment before nodding to himself.

“We were just talking about how amazing a double date would be. I’m sure you could convince Y/N to come, right?” Lexi smiles at Harry and you catch a small frown on his face before he returns the smile to Lexi. You find it funny, but you push down your laugh.

“Um, not sure. Y/N always has a strong will, not sure I want to go against it.”

“Oh, come on! It’ll be fun!”

“Y/N doesn’t like PDA, I’m sure double dating is a lot for her,” Oliver comments and your eyebrows shoot up at his words.

“How would you know if I disliked PDA?”

He has no valid information about it. He wouldn’t know, because the only person you ever wanted to get touchy and lovey in public was him, but he only let you get physically close to him when no one was around. When he felt like he needed someone in his bed so he didn’t feel too alone. When he let his hands roam your body under the blanket when you were watching a movie. He never let it happen with others around though, so how would he even know what you like? Hell, even you don’t know it…

Oliver’s eyes meet yours and it’s clear that your question caught him off guard.

“You told me,” he simply answers.

“I don’t remember,” you retort, not letting him get away with it this time.

“This is how you’ve always been.” He is clearly pissed that you are going against him.

“You know what? Let’s do a double date next weekend, alright? But we have somewhere to be now, if you’ll excuse us,” Harry cuts in, taking your hand as he pulls you away from the happy couple. You glance back at Oliver one last time before turning around.

Harry walks you out to the backyard and the cool air hits you hard in the head. You haven’t even realized how hot you were getting in there, but you’re not entirely sure it was because of all the people, rather of because Oliver’s behavior.

“Okay, what the fuck was that in there?” Harry questions.

“What do you mean?”

“Y/N, I’m not dumb or blind. Lexi might be oblivious to whatever you and Oliver have going on, but I’m not. Something has happened between you and him, right?”

You chew on your bottom lip, crossing your arms on your chest, not too keen on admitting it. You have never told anyone about it in details, not even Sandra. She knows you and Oliver get a little too close at times, but she has no idea you’ve slept with him on several occasions. You always thought you were a fool for sleeping with him and then watching him date other girls.

Unfortunately, your silence is enough for Harry to draw his conclusion.

“Wait, what? Did you two…?”

“Yes,” you shortly nod, feeling uncomfortable, but you can tell you can’t dodge this conversation this time.

“You’re telling me he has the nerve to sleep with you whenever it’s convenient for him and then drop you when he starts dating someone else?”

“It sounds worse than how it really is,” you mumble, but you don’t truly believe your own words. It’s pretty bad either way.

“Y/N, this is fucked up. A friend wouldn’t do that to you. It’s one thing to seek comfort at your friends, but using them for your own physical needs is just way beyond the line.”

You have nothing to say. Deep down you know he is right, you’ve always known, but you never knew what to do against it. Before you could even stop yourself, you feel your lips trembling, tears bubbling in your eyes as you glance at Harry. You expect pity from him, an act that tells you that you brought it all to yourself, but that’s not what you see. He gives you an apologetic look and he is quick to pull you into a tight hug, exactly what you need right now.

“I know, I’m so stupid,” you mumble into his chest.

“You’re not. He is just an ass,” he corrects you, earning a small chuckle from you. “Hey, do you want to get out of here?” he asks, pulling back so he can look into your eyes.

“You just got here.”

“Yeah, but I’m not really in the mood to party. Want to have a bite somewhere?”

“That would be… great,” you nod with a small smile, sniffling a little before you wipe your cheeks.

You let Sandra know you’re leaving with Harry and she can tell something has happened, but you just tell her you’ll talk later and she doesn’t push it further. Harry takes your hand as the two of you make your way through the people and you spot Oliver near the kitchen, one arm around Lexi’s shoulders as his gaze meets yours. You see him clenching his jaw when he sees your hand in Harry’s hold, but you don’t pay much attention to him, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible.

Luckily Harry drove to the Omega house so now you don’t have to wait for a car or take a long walk, you can enjoy the comfort of his Rover as the two of you leave the party behind. It’s silent in the car, you fold your arms over your chest, your head resting against the car door, not even questioning him where you are headed.

About ten minutes later Harry pulls up at a little diner, the two of you walk in and it’s not surprising there are just a few people lingering around at this time, though you know later they’ll have quite a few drunk students that are on their way home and in desperate need of a late night bite.

You take an empty booth and a waitress arrives immediately, handing you each a menu.

“Do you go here often?” you ask quietly, eyeing the options.

“Sometimes. They have great fries.”

You nod and decide to have just a cheeseburger with fries and a lemonade while Harry gets the veggie burger and a milkshake. The waiter takes the order shortly and leaves you alone. You’re not sure what to say, but you feel like you need to say something.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, staring down at your arms laying on the edge of the table, your right hand covering your left.

“For what exactly?”

“For… I just feel so stupid about this whole… Oliver thing. I know I shouldn’t have done what we did, but I just… couldn’t say no. I know, sounds ridiculous.”

“No, not at all,” Harry shakes his head. “You fell for him and he used you. If there’s anyone to blame it’s him, he shouldn’t use a friend for his own selfish needs. I’m not judging you, it’s easy to fall into holes like this.”

“I just really thought that he came to me because I meant something for him, but I can tell that… it wasn’t anything like that. The way he acted today was shockingly sobering,” you chuckle bitterly. “I think he is mad that I’m not available for him anymore and he is trying to play us down,” you say pointing at him and yourself. “So when he breaks it off with Lexi he can count on me, but it’s not happening.”

“I am happy to help you teach him any kind of lesson,” Harry grins just as the waiter arrives with the food and you start the feast. “I know you despise the idea of going on a double date with them, but I think we could have a lot of fun,” Harry points out while eating.

“How?”

“It’s obviously bugging Oliver that you are dating someone, we could give him the extra happy couple act, make him question why he was always such an asshole to you.”

“You think it would bother him?”

“Absolutely,” he chuckles. “We would serve him all the sappy, lovey couple shit from movies and get under his skin. I think it would be fun.”

“Okay, let’s do it,” you nod and Harry grins at you from across the table.

“Yes! Fake dating on maximum level!” he cheers, punching into the air, making you laugh.

As the two of you eat Harry talks your ears off and you know exactly why he just keeps on talking. He wants to take your mind away from everything about Oliver and he succeeds. He tells you stories about what it’s like to live in the frat house, all the funny things they’ve done with the boys and you just keep laughing and laughing until all the food is gone, the table is cleared off and it’s nearing one in the morning. Just as you expected, people from around the campus start dropping by for their midnight bite so the two of you slowly head out, not really wanting to run into someone you know. Harry drives you back to the dormitory and walks you up to the entrance.

“Thank you for tonight,” you breathe out, still feeling a little helpless and pathetic, but he definitely made it better with his company.

“No worries. After all, this is what boyfriends are for,” he chuckles lightly. “But I hope you are not gonna sink into self-pity over that douche.”

“Just a little?” you peek up at him with a scowl.

“Nope, not even a little, Y/N. He doesn’t deserve your time. If he is really gonna let you slip through his fingers, he is the biggest idiot on Earth. And he also has to be blind.”

For some reason, Harry’s words bring a blush to your cheeks, even if there’s a chance he doesn’t really mean them.

“Thank you,” you breathe out and he pulls you in for a hug without hesitation. You wrap your arms around his waist and inhale his sweet scent, melting into his warm embrace before you force yourself to let your arms fall from around his frame.

“Have a good rest of your weekend, girlfriend,” he smirks, backing towards his car. “I’ll see you on Monday!”

“Bye Harry!” you smile in his way before making your way inside.

Not too willingly, but you talk to Oliver the next week about the double date. He sounds clearly surprised that you brought it up yourself and he tries to talk you down, but you’re now way too curious about what would go down, so he has no choice than to say yes. You fix the date to Saturday and Harry says it’s fine for him and that the two of you can go over to the frat house later, they are gonna have a small get together for one of the guys’ birthday. Not a party, more of a beer and pizza type of evening since Clyde, the birthday boy is not that big of a party animal.

The week passes by as usual, you spend some time with Sandra and a little more with Harry. Since you’ve started this whole dating thing, you’ve found yourself getting used to have him around. It doesn’t feel forced anymore, you actually like hanging out with him, have him beside you in the library even if you’re not even talking and whenever you spot him waiting for you in the morning or after one of your classes, you have this stupid smile on your face walking up to him, especially when he calls you girlfriend. Sandra’s warning words pop up in your head time to time, telling you to be careful with having actual feelings for Harry, but you keep telling yourself the two of you are nothing else than just good friends.

Saturday morning you get your nails done with Sandra, have some much needed girly time since you’ve had little of that lately, even a fake relationship needs a lot of time and energy, if you’re being honest.

Sandra catches you smiling down at a text that’s from Harry, he just joked about wearing a tux to the roller-skating rink and you imagined it right away, the picture of everyone else dressed casually while he is dressed for a royal ball is just hilarious.

“So how are things with Harry?” she asks from the chair next to you.

“What do you mean?” you ask, eyes fixed on your nails as the lady is carefully painting them a light pink color.

“You two are like glued together.”

“Yeah, I like spending time with him. And like, we are dating,” you smirk, finding it funny to just casually say it.

“You do know you don’t have to keep the act up with me, right?”

“I know, but we really are friends,” you nod.

“Just friends? Because sometimes being friends with someone is a bit more to you,” she comments and your face falls. She right away realizes it was a little harsh. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said it. I didn’t mean to be a bitch. I’m just trying to look out for you. I don’t want to see another guy taking advantage of you.”

“He is already taking advantage of me in a way, but it’s mutual,” you shrug, trying to mask the fact how much her words hurt. You’re still trying to get over the whole Oliver thing and though it’s been easier with Harry around, you still feel hurt over how badly he has been using you in the past years.

“And… you don’t have feelings for him?”

“We’re friends,” you tell her again.

“Yes, but you can have feelings for a friend too, Y/N.”

“I don’t really want to talk about it. We are doing fine, I enjoy being with him, that’s all.”

“Alright, I believe you. Just want to make sure you are not getting yourself into another Oliver situation.”

“I’m not. Harry is not him,” you firmly state and it’s the truth. Even if things go south with him, you can never see him do the things Oliver did. He is not him in the best possible way.

 For the double date you choose to wear your favorite pair of light-washed mom jeans with a tank top tucked into it and a colorful cardigan under your jacket. Harry texted you that he would pick you up at six and because you are ready by half past five, you sit around in your room a little anxiously. You honestly have no idea what’s gonna happen tonight, where it’s gonna head but you can only hope it won’t be scandalous. People already talk enough about you for dating Harry, you don’t need to be known about being the girl who made a scene at the roller-skating rink with her boyfriend and best friend. It wouldn’t do good to your reputation.

When Harry finally texts you letting you know he has arrived you rush down the stairs, still haven’t been able to shake your nerves off, but as soon as you spot him standing by his car, you kind of forget about everything else. He is wearing his usual skinny jeans with a black shirt, of course, the first few buttons left undone. His hair is getting longer, curls constantly falling into his forehead, but you love it. Makes him look soft and like… like a prince.

“Hey, ready to have fun?” he smirks at you, opening the door to the passenger seat to you.

“I don’t think I will ever be ready for this kind of fun,” you admit with a soft chuckle before getting into the car.

“I’ll be right there with you, okay? We’re gonna crush them,” he grins at you driving. “And we can just leave whenever you want to.” Reaching over the console he takes your hand and squeezes it gently. The gesture sends a shiver running down your spine. It feels so good to have his support, you wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else than him.

Oliver and Lexi are already at the arcade that’s connected with the skating place when the two of you arrive. She looks ecstatic about tonight and it’s almost kind of cute, you’re convinced you’d actually be friends with her if the two of you met under different circumstances.

“Hi! Thank you so much for coming! I know it’s not really your thing, but I’m so happy we can finally hang out!” she cheers, giving you a hug. Oliver and Harry shake hands and Harry gives Lexi a short hug while you just awkwardly nod in Oliver’s direction, already feeling anxious in his presence. Harry takes your hand walking in and squeezes it gently. Peeking up at him he gifts you with a warm smile that tells you: it’s gonna be alright, I’m here with you.

Once all four of you have changed your shoes to your skates and put your belongings to the lockers you head to the rink, you and Lexi in the middle, Harry on your other side while Oliver is on Lexi’s other side.

“Y/N, Oliver has told me a lot about you. What was it like, growing up with him?” Lexi asks as the four of you roll around. You’re not the worst at roller-skating, you can move confidently, but it seems like Harry is the best out of all of you, easily moving around, as if he were on his feet.

Thinking back at your time with Oliver now at Lexi’s question, it’s quite bittersweet. Because you are starting to realize things you didn’t see back then. Like how you were always in his shadow, he was always the guy everyone liked and you were just the girl that tagged along.

“Um, not sure what you want to know about,” you chuckle awkwardly as you watch Harry throw his ball for the first time.

“Was he a womanizer? Tell me the truth! He says he barely dated a few people,” she chuckles, taking Oliver’s hand. He is pretty much avoiding to look you in the eyes as you glance over him and you really wish she didn’t ask you about it.

“He had quite a few… flings,” you say, not entirely sure how to phrase it. He wasn’t a womanizer, but he did start to hook up with you between girls a while ago, making his reputation a little questionable.

“I knew you were downplaying it!” she playfully smacks his chest and you just bite into your bottom lip. This is already so awkward.

“I think Y/N is just exaggerating,” Oliver chimes in, seemingly not a fan of the conversation either.

“Sure, it’s always me,” you mumble under your breath.

Harry takes your hand and gets a little ahead of you before turning around so he is facing you while skating backwards.

“Hey baby, want me to teach you how to go in zig-zag?” he smirks, clearly wanting to ease the tension. Nodding you let him take both of your hands as the two of you stay a little back from Oliver and Lexi. “Don’t let him get under your skin. He is a fucking asshole,” he tells you when he knows they can’t hear him.

“Was he always like this? I have no idea how I could put up with his act,” you mumble with a scowl.

“Fuck them. Come on, let’s have a good time,” he grins before taking the lead.

Harry makes your forget about them so easily, like it’s not even a double date, just the two of you hanging out. He keeps teaching you moves, laughing together whenever you get wobbly. He catches you every time when you’re about to lose your balance, he doesn’t let you fall and every time his arms circle around you, keeping you on your feet steadily, you find yourself blushing at how close he is getting to you. His hands holding yours, small touches on your arms and back, he takes every chance to connect the two of you and you enjoy every second of it.

“Harry, no!” you laugh as he holds your hand, still going around.

“Come on! Just try it! Just a little jump!” he encourages.

“Do you want to see me fall?”

“I would have let you fall a long time ago if that’s what I wanted,” he smirks. He gets ahead of you again, both his hands taking yours and you still can’t get used to how soothing his palms feel against yours. “I’ll catch you this time too, don’t worry.”

“I swear you are trying to kill me,” you groan as you try to figure out how to do a little jump without breaking a bone. “But just a little one!”

“The tiniest one,” he chuckles nodding.

You let him take the lead and he starts pulling you again, skating backwards like he did all evening and when you feel like you’re stable enough, you give it a go.

Unfortunately, what happens is exactly what you were expecting. When your skates meet with the floor again after the little jump, you don’t find your balance and immediately feel your feet rolling out from under yourself. Harry reaches out for you, just like he promised, grabbing onto your arm with one hand while the other one presses into your back, but this time he can’t save you and you pull him with yourself as well. The two of you end up falling to the ground in a laughing mess as Harry is partially lying on you, an arm stuck under you while the other one is across your chest.

“I told you!” you cry out but it turns into laughter pretty fast.

“I’m sorry, baby, are you okay?” he asks laughing and your heart skips a beat at how he called you baby again and Oliver is not even around.

“I-I’m fine,” you breathe out as he peels himself off you, helping you up with him as well. He is so close to you as you finally stand on your feet again, your noses almost brush against each other as you blink up at him nervously.

It would be so easy to kiss him. You want to know what it’s like to feel his lips against yours. Maybe if you move just a little…

“Are you trying to break a bone, Y/N?” Lexi rolls up to you, totally breaking the moment as you both turn to her. Harry leaves an arm around you, hand resting on your waist and you lean against him to steady yourself on your wheels.

“It was Harry’s idea, but I knew I would terribly fail,” you chuckle slightly. Oliver appears behind Lexi, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind and you clench your jaw at the gesture. Harry must have noticed the shift in you, because he tightens his hold around you, his hand soothingly running up and down your side. And just like that, Oliver is long forgotten, you can only think about how it feels to have his fingers dancing on you.

“You were never really into athletic things, Y/N,” Oliver comments and you grimace.

“Just because I didn’t play any sports in high school, doesn’t mean I can’t try things now.”

“I think you did great,” Harry smiles down at you. “You just need a little more practice and you’ll be better than me, baby.”

Baby, there’s that pet name again. It’s doing things to you for sure.

Glancing over at Oliver you catch what looks like an eye-rolling and he genuinely looks annoyed by you and Harry and it’s making your blood boil at this point. Why can he be the only one to date someone? Why can’t you have a good time with someone? Now that you are thinking about it, he did it not only with guys, but also with anyone who tried to be friends with you. Oliver wanted him to be your only friend and sneakily ruined every friendship you ever had. Sandra is your first real friend other than Oliver, only because he couldn’t do anything against you forming any kind of relationship with your roommate. But you are now getting quite fed up with his little games and Harry might not be your real boyfriend, but you are friends with him and Oliver can do nothing about that.

Soon enough you decide you’ve had enough of the skating, so you move to the side and start changing back to your shoes. Lexi runs out to the restroom and while you are putting your sneakers back on Harry spots someone he knows, working at the buffet so he steps aside for a minute, leaving you and Oliver alone.

“Are you really dating him?” you hear him speak up and you can’t help the scowl on your face.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“He is just so not the type of person you hang out with,” he comments with a shrug and your eyebrows shoot up.

“First of all, how would you know? My friends were always kind of more your friends, never really had the chance to find my people. And second, what’s the problem with him?”

“The problem is that we all know what he is like. Everyone on campus knows that Harry is famous for going after a lot of girls.”

“And you believe what others say? You know nothing about him. He is not what people try to make him appear to be, but you wouldn’t know, because you don’t know him like I do. And for the record, yes, I really am dating him and I’m very happy about it.”

You can tell he doesn’t like your reaction and he is probably fighting back to snap at you, but Harry soon returns, oblivious to the scene that just went down, however he can sense the shift in the atmosphere immediately.

“Everything alright?” he asks, seemingly innocently, but you know he is asking if Oliver has done something.

“Yeah. Can we leave?” you ask, not too keen on staying with Oliver any longer. It’s getting hard to imagine how you could ever put up with him and his act.

“Are you guys leaving? We could grab a bite together!” Lexi chimes in arriving back from the restroom. You are about to decline, but Harry speaks up before you.

“Oh, we have plans already, but maybe some other time,” he politely says, a hand on your lower back as he pulls you to his side and you’re thankful for his close presence now. If he weren’t there, you would have already jumped at Oliver’s throat probably.

“Oh, okay! I’m glad we got to do this though,” she smiles warmly, taking Oliver’s hand while you just chew on the inside of your cheeks, very keen on leaving as soon as possible.

Your force a smile on your face, bidding goodbye before Harry takes your hand and the two of you head out to his car.

“Hey, everything okay?” he asks when it’s finally just the two of you. Staring down at your hands on your lap, you bite into your bottom lip.

“Just… let’s leave. I had enough of Oliver for a life today,” you mumble and luckily, Harry doesn’t try to keep asking around, just starts the car and leaves.

On the way he asks if you still want to come over to the frat house and you say yes, because you feel like you could use the distraction. You’d rather spend some more time around him than go back to your dorm room and be alone with your thoughts.

Just as he promised, it’s nothing big, just a few close friends of some of the frat boys, pizza boxes are piled in the kitchen, music is playing in the background but it’s not blasting like when it’s a party. A big group is playing UNO in the living room using two deck of cards so the rounds don’t end too soon.

You and Harry get a slice of pizza, already starving after the skating and when you’re done with that, the two of you wander into the living room. There’s no more room left on the mismatched couches so Harry plops himself down to the ground and you stop for a moment, because there’s someone sitting on both of his sides, leaving not much space for you, but he is quick to solve the problem by taking your hand and pulling you down so you sit between his legs, your back pressed against his chest.

“Oh,” you breathe out from the sudden contact, but it feels nice. You cross your legs so his legs can bridge over them with his knees bent as he looks over your shoulders to see the game unfold.

“You guys want to play?” one of the girls asks.

“There’s not enough cards for the both of them to join!” another warns.

“We’ll just play together,” Harry speaks up from behind you and in the next round you join the game.

Harry rests his chin on your shoulder as his arms come around you, holding the cards so you can see them as well. It’s the closest he has been to you, basically wrapped around you and it’s definitely doing things to you. The way his chest warms your back, how you can feel every breath he draws because his face is so close next to yours, how his arms cage you gently, you are suddenly aware of even the smallest things.

“Pick one,” he murmurs when it’s your turn to throw a card in. You’ve been so occupied with him that you have no idea what color or number you should pick so you quickly check the deck in the middle before pointing at a red card. “Throw it in,” he tells you, pushing the card up with his thumb so you can take it and put it to the top.

Sitting here, on the floor of his frat house, his arms around you feels so much better than anything you’ve experienced with Oliver and the realization hits you hard in the chest. Turning your head to the side you let yourself take a good look at his perfect side profile, his chiseled jawline, the bridge of his nose and the little wrinkle between his eyebrows as he knits them together in focus, staring down at the cards in his hands. He catches you looking, his green eyes meet yours and a soft smile spreads across his face.

“What?”

“Nothing,” you shake your head.

“Everything alright?” he quietly asks and you nod.

“Yeah,” you breathe out turning back, but you still feel his lingering gaze on you for a few more moments before he turns away too.

You keep playing as the night moves on, drinking some beer, making you relax even more, though Harry’s closeness does the job just perfectly. Even when you are not sitting on the ground anymore, he always keeps close to you. Curling an arm around your waist when you stand in the kitchen talking with others, he keeps giving your hands and hips assuring little squeezes and you can’t help but lean into his touch every time. You want him close, you want to feel his touch, you love it when your eyes meet and he always shoots you a small smile, it makes your heart flutter, like you’re a little school girl with a silly crush.

Because now you are more than sure that you’re crushing on Harry. How can you not? He has been so good to you, did more than Oliver has ever done and you’ve been friends for just a few weeks.

You leave him for just a few minutes while you use the bathroom and as you return, you catch some of the conversation he is having with one of the boys, Jake.

“Dude, can’t believe the ladies’ favorite Styles is taken,” Jake laughs and it makes you scowl as you stop at the corner, listening on them.

“Jake, I told you to stop calling me that,” Harry huffs.

“I’m just telling you the truth. Every girl on campus is after you.”

“That doesn’t have anything to do with me being in a relationship.”

“I just thought that the womanizer Harry Styles wouldn’t settle again for a while.”

“Jake, I’m not a womanizer, stop this bullshit. Just because girls try to get together with me, doesn’t mean I want the same thing.”

You choose this moment to walk in, knowing well Harry must be losing his patience with Jake and his irrelevant accusations. Walking in you smile warmly at Harry, curling an arm around his waist as you lean into his side. His arm comes around your shoulders and he pulls you close. Jake eyes you with an unreadable expression before his gaze returns to Harry.

“Hope you know what you are doing, mate.”

“I surely do,” Harry firmly answers and it makes you smile, especially because you know what they’ve been talking about.

When Jake walks out you turn to face Harry, playfully poking his tummy as you glance up at him.

“Hey,” you smile up at him, your arms wrapping around his waist as his hands fall to your shoulders.

“Hey,” he chuckles. “Why are you so smiley?”

“I can’t smile?”

“Of course you can,” he smirks. “Want to go back a little more?” he asks nodding towards the living room where there are still quite a few people. You nod and let go of him, turning around you are just about to walk ahead but you didn’t see that a girl was coming inside and you bump right into her, the liquid from her cup spilling down your shirt.

“Shit!” you gasp jumping back, colliding a little with Harry’s chest and his hands immediately grab your waist in case you might lose your balance.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry!” the girl stutters, reaching for paper towels right away, but it helps nearly nothing.

“It’s fine,” you breathe out pressing your lips together.

“Come on, I’ll give you a shirt,” Harry tells you, taking your hand, walking you upstairs. The fabric of your shirt is turning cold against your skin and you really want to get rid of it.

Harry pulls out a simple black shirt for you and shows you the way to his little bathroom. Changing into his shirt you make an attempt to wash yours out, but it doesn’t do much to the sugary spill.

“Do you mind if I stay in it for the rest of the evening? I promise I’ll give it back next time we meet.”

“Sure,” Harry smiles and you catch his gaze wandering down your body, his shirt hanging loosely on your frame. “Do you still want to stay or do you want me to give you a ride back to the dorm?”

“Uh, maybe I should head home,” you nod to yourself.

“Is it okay if I take a quick shower? I feel so sweaty after the skating, just five minutes.”

“Sure, go ahead,” you nod smiling before he disappears in the bathroom.

You hear him turn the water on and walking over to his bed you lie down for a little, feeling the tiredness coming over you all at once. It’s been a long and exhausting day and listening to the soothing voice of the running water you find yourself drifting off to sleep before you could stop yourself.

When you open your eyes again the room is completely dark, but you quickly realize it’s not your dorm room; you’re still at Harry’s. Turning to the side you see him sleeping peacefully on the other side of the mattress, lying on his back. Still groggy with sleep, you realize you fell asleep while he was in the shower and he probably didn’t want to wake you so just went to bed next to you.

He looks like an angel sleeping, his green irises hidden from the world, thick lashes fanned over his cheeks, his pink lips slightly parted as his chest rises and falls peacefully. Sleeping in his bed, wearing his clothes, seeing him next to you, he is all you can think about and it brings a smile to your face.

Gently, you scoot closer to him, but still don’t touch him, however the movement makes him huff in his sleep and turning to his side his arm falls across your waist, making you gasp in surprise. You freeze, thinking that he might wake up any moment but it doesn’t happen and you’re stuck in his hold, not that you mind it. You push yourself a little closer, your nose almost touching his chest as you make yourself comfortable and closing your eyes you go back to sleep without a worry in the world.

Waking up you find yourself curled up to Harry’s side, one of his army around you while the other is holding your hand on his stomach. Blinking your eyes open you look around and take a few seconds to fully wake up. Harry feels so warm against you, but you think he might not like to find you all melted against him so you try to move away but his hold tightens around you.

“Mmm, stop movin’ around,” he mumbles sleepily.

“Sorry, I just thought that… you might feel hot,” you lie in a whisper.

“I am hot,” he smirks with his eyes still closed and his comment makes you laugh.

“And so full of yourself!” you chuckle and try to pull away once again, but he locks you to his side, not letting you break the position you are in.

“I said stop movin’! I like being warm in the morning,” he murmurs, snuggling you more to his side and you bite into your bottom lip as your smile stretches wider with each passing second.

Yeah, you definitely have a crush on Harry and you can’t even act like you don’t.

“Sorry for falling asleep in your bed,” you mumble, closing your eyes as you let your head rest on his chest.

“Y’ looked cute,” he huffs with a soft smile. “S’alright. Give me five minutes and I’ll be awake to drive you back to the dorm.”

You hum a response and just enjoy it while it lasts, not wanting to let him go anytime soon. But you have to. Slowly, the two of you get ready to leave, you want to change back to your stained shirt, but Harry tells you to just keep the shirt, he has two more of the exact same one so you walk out of the frat house wearing Harry’s shirt, holding Harry’s hand and get into Harry’s car. He is everywhere and you absolutely love it.

“So we have this game next weekend and I thought you might want to come? You don’t have to if you absolutely hate football, I just thought—“

“I would love to,” you say cutting his rambling short as he smiles with his eyes staring ahead at the road.

“Cool. Bring your roommate if you want.”

“Sure,” you smile.

Football has never been your thing, but watching Harry is, so the game turns out better than you expected. Sandra tags along and luckily, she knows a little more about the game than you do, so you can ask her questions whenever you are completely lost about the happenings. Though you don’t know much about what a good player should be like, but it’s still clear to you that Harry is one of them. He scores half the points of his team and you are guessing that’s quite fascinating.

“Am I just dreaming or does he keep looking your way?” Sandra questions after you also just caught Harry’s gaze on you a moment ago.

“So what if he is?” you ask with a shy smile, eyes glued to his running frame on the field.

“Are you guys like… really together?”

“No,” you shake your head. “We are just friends,” you add, the term tasting a little bitter on your tongue.

“But you want more.” It’s not a question, Sandra can see right through you. Glancing at her you let out a huff before turning back at the game.

“It’s hard not to,” you truthfully admit, your eyes following Harry’s every movement on the field. Looking around you see that you are probably not the only one. Half of the girls on the bleachers are staring at him and you can’t even blame them. You have to be blind and stupid at the same time not to like him and apparently, you’re neither.

They win, no surprise. The whole team goes crazy as they score their last point and it puts them in the lead in the last minute. Everyone is cheering and screaming at the boys as they are celebrating their victory, along with Harry.

Jake starts running up and down the bleachers shouting that they are throwing a victory party at the frat house so now you know what you’re gonna do for the rest of the evening. As the team makes its way back towards the locker rooms Harry runs up to you, all sweaty and grinning crazily.

“Hey, you coming for the party, right?” he asks, still breathing heavily from the game.

“Sure,” you chuckle.

“Yes! You guys want a ride?” he asks in excitement glancing at Sandra beside you.

“That would be nice,” she nods happily.

“Alright, meet me at my car in fifteen,” he breathes out and before he runs away, he leans down and presses a kiss to your cheek, then leaves in a rush, catching up with the other guys. Suddenly, it feels a lot hotter than before…

“Okay, there’s no way he is not into you too,” Sandra mumbles to you as the two of you head out to the parking lot.

“You think so?”

“Oh, I know so,” she laughs, folding her arms on her chest. “That guy is like a puppy in love around you.”

“What if it’s just his normal?”

“I don’t know, is it? You’re the one who spends every possible minute with him,” she points out and she is right. This wasn’t like this before and as far as you know, he was never like this with anyone either. The only person you saw him act similarly was Naomi when they were dating, so could this be a hint for you that he feels the same way?

You’re still chewing on it when Harry emerges from the building, carrying his huge sports bag on his shoulder, his locks still wet from the shower he must have taken, his smile is still as wide as it was after the game.

“Ladies, fancy a ride?” he asks and as he walks past you he squeezes your hand gently before rounding the car and sitting behind the wheel.

By the time you arrive to the frat house the party is already on, music blasting in the living room where not so long ago you were playing UNO, sitting in Harry’s arms, booze is piling in the kitchen and more and more people are showing up.

“Hey, can you come up with me to drop my bag off and change?” Harry asks upon walking into the house and you nod. Sandra gives you a look that says ‘man up and talk to him’ before you take Harry’s hand and the two of you head upstairs.

“Be honest, did you bore yourself to death at the game?” Harry asks when you’re in the safety of his room.

“It wasn’t that bad, though I definitely need to learn more about the rules,” you chuckle admitting as you sit on the edge of his bed while he moves around, putting away his stuff. You watch him with a fluttering heart as you think about your conversation with Sandra. Even if she is right, how do you bring it up? You can’t just simply drop that you would like to turn your fake relationship into something real, you are not ballsy enough for that anyway.

“I’ll change quickly and we can head out,” he smiles, grabbing his usual skinny jeans and a white shirt from his dresser before disappearing in his bathroom.

While he is in there, you try to build your courage up to have the talk with him. Now seems like a good time, you’re alone in his room, no audience in case he rejects you painfully so no one would witness your breakdown. Chewing on the inside of your cheeks you stand up and start pacing the floor, stopping when the door opens and he walks out, smiling at you warmly as he fixes the dog tag around his neck.

“Everything alright?” he asks, tilting his head to the side.

“I, uhh… I wanted to talk about something,” you start shyly, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt.

“Okay, go for it,” he nods walking closer.

“I just, I’M not sure how to bring this up, and I hope it won’t sound weird. But I’ve been thinking about, um—I thought about this, what we’ve been doing and I realized that I—“

Your rambling speech gets interrupted when Jake bursts into the room without even a knock or warning word.

“Dude, come down! We need you on our beerpong team!” he urges Harry who gives him an annoyed look.

“Jake, don’t just fucking barge into my room without knocking!” Harry snaps at him.

“Like I haven’t seen your dick before,” Jake snorts and you feel the heat crawling up your neck at even just the thought of Harry naked.

“I don’t fucking care, knock!”

“Okay!” Jake growls rolling his eyes. “But you gotta come down now!”

Harry looks back at you, knowing well you two were in the middle of a conversation, but Jake’s arrival threw you off completely.

“Go, we can… talk later, it’s not that important,” you smile at him weakly.

“Are you sure?” he asks, his hand taking yours.

“Yeah, totally. Just go and celebrate your win,” you chuckle and with that, the moment is already gone.

You return to the party and while Harry gets sucked into an epic beerpong game, you join Sandra in the living room, who eyes you with a curious look, but you just shake your head.

“Don’t even ask,” you mumble and grabbing her drink from her hand you take a big swig from it, hoping the alcohol might help you with your anxious thoughts.

An hour later you feel the buzz, but you’re not at all drunk, just a little… braver than usually. You’ve moved to the kitchen with Sandra and a few girls, you’re sitting on the counter, nursing another drink as you listen to one of the girls rage about her asshole ex. Glancing out of the kitchen your eyes find Harry standing in the living room and for your surprise he was already watching you. You catch his smile, his focus completely on you when the guys are talking to him in his little circle, but he doesn’t seem to care. His gaze brings the heat back into your body, he can make you go nuts with just a look and you want to hate him for that, but you can’t. There’s nothing you hate about this guy.

“Stop eyefucking your man and just… fuck him for real” Sandra chuckles leaning closer to you, so only you can hear her words.

“Sandra!” you gasp, smacking her in the boob knowing well she hates it when you do that. She just cackles, returning to the discussion with the girls.

Soon enough, you see Harry moving towards your little group, creeping his way into the kitchen, stopping right beside you, leaning on one arm, his hand placed dangerously close to your thigh on the counter.

“Hi,” he smiles with his rosy cheeks, he surely has drunk some as well, but he doesn’t seem drunk either.

“Hi,” you breathe out, feeling flustered by his closeness again, a smile stretching across your face as he keeps eyeing you grinning. “What?”

“Have I told you how cute your smile is?” he asks and now you’re sure you’ve turned into a tomato.

“No,” you mumble shyly and almost gasp when his hand moves from the counter to your thighs as if it was the most natural thing, but it sends a shiver down your spine.

“Well, it is cute,” he chuckles, before turning his attention at the conversation in the little circle, but his hand remains still on your thigh.

From there, the situation escalates pretty easily. All it takes him to get between your thighs is to reach for one of the drinks on the counter next to you, his hand still resting on your thigh, and as he is done with the drink, he places it to the counter, his other hand coming to your other thigh, now standing facing you between your legs. Before you could say anything, he pulls on you a little, so you press up against him, your hands instantly coming to grab onto his shoulders to steady yourself in the movement.

“Hi again,” he smirks with glistening eyes.

“You didn’t go anywhere,” you chuckle quietly, your fingers dancing up to the back of his neck, playing with his curls.

“I know, but it made you smile and that’s what I wanted,” he smirks, so proud of himself. He licks his lips and you catch his gaze wandering down to yours, instantly making you nervous as you think back at the failed conversation you had with him not so long ago. This feels like a moment that could head into a direction you are dying for, but without the talk, you’re not sure if you should take the risky step.

Good thing that Harry is not shying out of it. Pressing forward his forehead meets yours, noses muzzling together as his lips linger so close to yours. You suck on your breath, arms curling around his neck as you wait for him to move the last millimeters between the two of you, and seeing that you are not pulling back, Harry makes the final move.

His lips move perfectly against yours, so warm and welcoming, soft and intoxicating, kissing him feels like a gift from above. He is taking his time with you, tasting and savoring you and you’re definitely not complaining. You could spend the rest of your life kissing him and you’d be fine with it.

One of his hands stays on your thigh, keeping a firm grip on it while the other one moves up to cup your cheek as you angle your head to reach him perfectly. He licks into your mouth without warning and you almost let out a moan at the sensation, but you’re just too busy returning his kisses.

You have absolutely no idea how long you stay like that, kissing and touching each other, but when he pulls back, you can’t help the stupid grin on your love drunk face. Harry’s expression kind of mirrors yours as he pecks your swollen lips once more before getting back to his previous position, his hand never leaving your thigh and you hug his strong, tattooed arm, needing to touch him in any kind of way as the two of you reenter the discussion that never stopped. Sandra gives you a wide-eyed stare and you just bite into your bottom lip, turning into a giggly teenage girl all of a sudden.

For just a few minutes you are absolutely convinced the kiss was real, but that’s all you got. As you look into the living room you catch Naomi’s burning stare and it tells you right away she witnessed the whole scene and to make it even worse, Oliver was standing not too far, glaring at you firmly and they make you think.

What if Harry saw them near and kissed you just to mess with them? What if it was all just part of the act? You should have pressed more earlier and have that damned talk with him, how are you supposed to ask now if he meant it or not?!

The more you think about it, the more painful it becomes and the little evil voice in your head convinces you that he didn’t mean it. It’s not like you want to believe it, but you can’t ignore the possibility that slowly grows into reality in your clouded mind.

You lose both Harry and Sandra at one point after going to the bathroom and though you know they are somewhere around, you feel like you can’t stay any longer at the party. Before anyone could stop you, you sneak out of the house and head back to the dorm, hoping that a good night sleep would get your head straight.

Harry tries to call you, but you ignore them all, heading straight to bed when you arrive. You feel guilty for leaving without a word but there’s just too much going on in your head, you need time to process and figure out what to do.

You’re still up when Sandra arrives back but you pretend to be asleep, not feeling like dealing with her investigating questions about the kiss and why you left so suddenly. It takes over an hour for you to finally fall asleep and escape your buzzing thoughts.

Waking up you see no sign of Sandra and you remember she mentioned that her brother is visiting town so they might spend the day together. Amazing opportunity to bury yourself into your deep loneliness and try to figure out what to do.

Harry has been nonstop texting you, asking if you even made it back to the dorm safely and you just shoot him one message to let him know you’re still alive and then ignore him again. Thinking back at the kiss last night your heart flutters every time, you can still feel the touch of his lips, the way his hand cupped your cheeks, it’s driving you crazy. But then you remember seeing Naomi’s and Oliver’s face and you’re convinced Harry saw them too and you always get to the same conclusion: the kiss was just part of the act.

You barely leave the bed the whole day, lying under your covers and watching Netflix until your mind feels numb enough to stop torturing you with your thoughts. And then, there’s a knock on the door. You freeze, knowing well that whoever is on the other side, you don’t want to see them.

“Y/N, I know you’re in there, I heard you watching The Vampire Diaries,” Oliver’s voice calls out from outside and you let out a shaky breath.

Dragging yourself out of the bed you open the door and stare back at him with a blank expression.

“What do you want?” you simply question.

“I broke up with Lexi,” he answers and your eyebrows shoot up. Without asking for permission he pushes his way into the room, stopping in the middle with his hands on his hips. “Last night, I broke up with her.”

“I uhh—I’m sorry, I guess, but why? She was so sweet.”

“I miss you, Y/N,” he blurts out and your shock just raises. Did he just admit to breaking up with his girlfriend because of you?!

“What?”

“Lexi is a nice girl, but I miss you, I miss what we had.”

“And what is that supposed to be?” you ask with a bitter chuckle as you fold your arms on your chest. “You miss fucking me whenever it’s convenient for you? Because I certainly don’t miss that.”

“We both know it was more than that, Y/N,” he smiles warmly, but it makes your stomach churn. Nothing about that smile is friendly or nice, he is trying to manipulate you like so many times before, but it’s not working now. He lost his power over you.

“It wasn’t. You were using me, Oliver.”

“That’s not what it was. We were having fun!”

“I wasn’t! I had feelings for you and you used them for your benefit!” you snap at him, not in the mood to play by his rules any longer. You’ll not let him bring you down again. “A friend doesn’t do that.”

“You could have spoken up against it, but I didn’t hear you complaining,” he retorts and it feels like a slap across your face. “I know you miss it too, Y/N. You don’t have to act like you are into Harry, I can see through you.”

“Oh really?” you snort, finding his words rather comedic. He knows or sees absolutely nothing and he just proved it. “Tell me then what you see!”

“I see that you’ve been trying to make me jealous and I’m gonna give it to you, it was successful.”

“Amazing, only problem is that I never wanted to make you jealous. My feelings for Harry are more real than the ones I had for you and I would really like it if you just left right now.”

Grabbing the doorknob you hold it open for him, wanting nothing more than to get rid of him for once and for all. You’ve had enough of his toxic, manipulating ass for a lifetime.

“Are you really kicking me out and just gonna choose him over me?” he huffs in disbelief and you can tell you’ve hurt his ego pretty badly.

“I’m choosing myself and doing what’s best for me. Now leave,” you demand and he finally moves. Walking past you he stops and looks down at you one more time.

“You’re a fucking waste of time,” he sneers before walking out and you need every ounce of power in you not to go after him and punch him in his arrogant face. How could you ever consider him even a friend, let along sleep with him?! He is the most disgusting and degrading asshole you’ve ever seen and you’ll work on forgetting about his whole existence for the rest of your life.

You shut the door behind him and leaning your back against it you slide down to the floor, feeling your chest tightening at the intensity of what just happened. You lost the person you loved the most just weeks ago and realized that he was never who you thought him to be.

You feel like crying for a little, but the tears never come. Instead, a soft sense of relief washes over you, like a weight has been lifted off of your shoulders, finally setting you free. One less thing to worry about.

As you push yourself up from the floor you hear fractions of a heated conversation outside and when you recognize both voices, your heart stops beating for a moment. Opening the door you hear the conversation between Oliver and Harry now fully clear.

“Stop fucking acting like you are the center of her world, Styles. She has no fucking idea what she wants,” Oliver snaps at Harry, clearly upset about something he said earlier.

“No one thinks that but you! Stop harassing her like a fucking psycho!” Harry fights back and your lips part at how he stands up for you.

“You’re the one harassing her! Don’t think for a moment you have a chance with her, she wants me, not you! You’ll never get into her pants like I did—“

Just when you’re about to barge out of the room to end whatever parade they are having, Oliver’s groan fills the hallway and as you step out, you see him fall to the ground after Harry’s has punched him right in the face.

“What the fuck?!” you snap in shock and they both turn to look at you in the middle of their fight.

“Your fucking boyfriend punched me for no reason!” Oliver spats, pushing himself up, holding a hand to his jaw that’s already turning red.

“Stop making yourself the victim, Oliver, no one buys it!” you groan at him as you step to Harry. He seems ashamed, even scared of your reaction about the fact that he just punched Oliver, but you are not gonna blame him. He did God’s work in this case.

“I can’t fucking believe you’re still taking his side!” Oliver snaps angrily. “You know what? You two deserve each other.”

“Shut up and leave!” you shout at him before grabbing Harry’s wrist and pulling him towards your room.

You hear Oliver mumbling something under his breath, but you couldn’t care less, shutting the door at him once again, this time with Harry in the room with you.

“Y/N, I’m sorry, I just fucking lost my temper and—“ You wave him off, taking his hand in yours softly, taking a look at his knuckles.

“It’s fine,” you smile at him. “Does it hurt?” you ask, gently running your thumb over his reddened knuckles.

“No, it’s alright,” he murmurs, standing so close to you again. His green eyes search yours as his other hand reaches under your chin to lift your head. “You have been ignoring me since last night.”

“I just… had a lot of stuff to do,” you awkwardly answer clearing your throat.

“You sure it’s not because of what happened between us?”

“What? Of course not!” you huff. “I get it, you were just trying to make it convincing because Naomi and Oliver were both watching a-and so you just—“

“What?” Harry asks tilting his head to the side.

“I mean, that’s why you did it, right? I saw them after we—uhh after we you know, kissed.”

“Okay, I didn’t see them and that’s not why I did it,” he admits with a nervous chuckle as he rubs the back of his neck. “I thought we were on the same page, but apparently not. Y/N, nothing I did recently was because of Naomi or Oliver. If I’m being honest it hasn’t been about them for a while. I really like you and I know I should have talked to you first about it, because now it was all kind of confusing, but I wasn’t faking it. I meant everything I said and did.”

You stare back at him in awe, heart pounding against your chest as his words sink in. He wasn’t acting, the kiss was real and you’ve been acting like a lunatic since last night, completely ignoring him instead of just talking to him, you are such a dumbass!

“Really?” you breathe out, barely more than just a whisper.

“Yeah,” he chuckles softly. “And I kinda thought you feel the same way, but then I came here and ran into Oliver who told me you two just had a chat about… possibilities between you and him?”

The hurt is clear in his eyes and your hatred towards Oliver is not on maximum level. You can’t believe he tried to ruin it all one last time even after you told him you want nothing to do with him.

“That’s not what we talked about,” you shake your head. “He came here, told me he broke up with Lexi and that he misses me, but I told him that’s too bad because I don’t miss him and his stupid little games anymore.”

“Oh!”

“And he tried to convince me to choose him over you, but I already chose you, so he had no chance,” you add, a wide smile spreading across your face as you see him realize what you just said.

“What, does this mean…?” he questions with sparkling eyes as he starts inching closer to you.

“Last night, when Jake barged into your room, this is what I wanted to talk to you about. That I’m not really faking anything anymore, but we were rudely interrupted and then… you kissed me and I thought things were finally going right, but then I somehow convinced myself that it was just because you saw Naomi and Oliver around and tried to upset them.”

“Fuck them!” Harry laughs, his hands finally reaching to grab you by your waist as he pulls you against him. “I don’t care about them anymore. I just want to be with you, no faking, no acting, just… you and me.”

“That sounds… perfect,” you admit with a tired smile before he finally leans down and presses his lips against yours.

“I have a warning for you, Y/N,” he mumbles between kisses, his lips moving against yours.

“Yeah? What’s that?” you hum, melting into him.

“I will not stop kissing you. It’s my new favorite thing,” he giggles, hands pulling you even tighter to him.

“Oh, how upsetting!” you chuckle without a care in the world before the two of you fall to your bed, a mess of kisses and giggles, but not an ounce of faking.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

[kreidewaltz]

YEAR END LOVE.

happy holidays and advance happy new year everyone!! this was supposed to be for christmas but.. yeah hope u had a great time w your loved ones <33 this is for my friends who helped me get thru shitty times, who made me laugh so hard, and made me feel appreciated :) to my mutuals, thank u for taking ur time to talk to me!! any interactions from u guys makes me so so happy <3 im proud of you for getting through this year!! this is gonna b a long one .. hehe <3 sorry if i didn't mention u!! i still love u :( this is in no particular order dw dw ily all d same

to my followers, mutuals, and people who likes my stuff in general ツ

AAAAAAA guys ily you rock !! thank u for supporting me and just being there for me (esp for the ones who listened and stayed w my shit !!) ty for liking, reblogging about my stuff, or just interacting w me!! pls pls talk to me let's have some good convo hehe i hope no one will send me or any blog hate bc that isn't cool >:( happiness and love only are allowed people!!!

@sunakissses ツ

my bestie, my bae, babe <3 you rock val if im honest :( even tho we haven't been friends for a long time, we just clicked !! and yeah talking to u is just makes me at ease n u have that comfy vibes :)) and our interactions r so funny and wholesome <33 i just love when im talking to ya you know :(( and idk i love ur supportive aura whenever i do something hehe :( lets keep going next year and be more closer >:) and yes u and suna r going to be the cat's first ever aunt and uncle <3

@romaune ツ

okay .. the literal meaning of sunshine, yes you gracie baby :( you're so wholesome i wanna cry thats me 2 u !! i love your aura and just everything, i get so excited when u reply to my asks fr, because ure so enthusiastic n i like that a lot !!! :( ik we don't talk a lot yet but from our interactions (or just us screamin abt our mans winks) i know i gained a friend, a good n funny friend for that:) and ure so like hinata i wanna squish and hug and talk to!! i love how we scream abt our ongoing suna brainrots HAHA can't forget that <33

@cryoqi ツ

people put ur hands up 4 the coolest person ive met !!!! >:( istg you're so kind and so funny even if thats not ur intention T_T at first i was intimidated by u but then yeah <33 we vibe :( only the real ones know abt us and me bein your bread anon <33 ure rlly great and can't forget d time us and dove sang thru texts ...? yes that i cried while laughing HAHA, and yes i love the way u write 2!! so you and just amazing overall :)) n yeah i like to talk to u a lot in the server !!! ure so funny & relatable at times hihi

@miyasangel ツ

arden bae !!! you're so ... cool and pretty and one of the people i want 2 talk to in here <3 you're like cool and the way you write is chefs kiss >:( and i love it whenever we talk abt random things AHSHS and when we talk abt atsumu <33 i love love that !! n yeah good thing i interacted w u b4 on ur old blog and get to talk to you more !!! i was so shy n nervous while sending you asks sometimes LMAO idk why :(( ure rlly a great friend <3 n i think u also became a factor on why im liking inarizaki :D

@cafemiya ツ

omg hail to issy !! i know we don't talk that much yet but i literally like u a lot >:( you're rlly great w your long fics !! n handmade heaven lead me to you and ur asks <3 and you're so chaotic too HAHA i like that :) dw ill always shower u w compliments bc u so deserve it bby !!! and i squeal sometimes when u reply to my asks w the same energy :(( n yes i just love you and your vibe in general <3 and im so excited 4 the collab !!! <3 thanks for reaching me out hehe or my slowburn fic journey wont happen :( anw ily and keep slayin issy baby!!!! :D

@kuro0luvr ツ

omg kieran .. the big phat supporter of chlojime is here people !!! <3 i just love loooove talking to you esp in the server & we scream abt anything n everything :( and thank u for always giving me support and everyone else when we're down!! you're one of my sunshines 2 :( i love how we just talk and instantly b close friends you know!! even tho we dont chat like in dms we r so close hehe :( and yes ill never forget how happy u got when i complimented that u have akaashi vibes <3 ty for being a good friend n supporter to me :(((

@oikawasbliss ツ

milo everyday !!! >:) i missed our interactions tbh :( you're just so chill n i vibe w u a lot!! your themes omg i want em its so aesthetic and everything <3 and uhm i love ur love for oikawa >< i mean who wouldn't but whenever i see smth kawa related i think of u immediately T_T and yes ure just so so cool :(( lets talk more soon gah and maybe talk abt aot hehe smirks <3 and yes i just like ur themes and vibe a lot <3 lets talk more soon gah >:)

@himichii ツ

I KNOW we didn't talk really like until few weeks ago but ... you're so funny and kind n lowkey sweet HAHA u were so intimidating before i can't talk 2 u <//3 but im glad i did !! not me writin this and listening to the playlist u made for me :( omg thank u for that and the other that u posted, i felt nostalgic and (good) sad on d inside <3 HAHS lets talk more omfg idk what 2 say :( OH oh ure a greatt writer :( the angst u sent yesterday made me sad gah <3 let's talk more in the new years!!! :(

@hajimine ツ

oml lexy bae where do i start??? omg ily like <3 because you're so nice n sweet n so funny 2!! glad i started participating in your ask games and on that we became friends hehe :( i love how we just talk abt anything on your asks <33 like ur life keeps me entertained HAHA and when u became more chaotic n all that .. i liked it!!! :( and oh u write so well if u didnt know >:( can't wait 4 more interactions w you bae !! <3 and ugh omg ily <3 literally cannot express how much :( you have good vibes n i wanna have that too !! and love how we just scream over one man ;D

@lcaita ツ

omg kai ... hi <3 HAHS sorry if im so awkward wtf but ure so cool and so funny !!! i like ur vibes always even tho ure not always around <3 and when youre around i just get happy !!! >< for some reason i love ur name hehe and uhm i love ur aesthetics hehe on ur acc !!! >:) and yes thank u for being a kind friend hehe :( lets talk more next yr abt anything!!! maybe abt ur mans (kaashi, semi, others) hehe ;)

@kemochie ツ

nea !!! i just . wanna say that you're a sweet human being :( and deserve the world :( ik we didnt interact much yet but !!! i love u already n your aura in general <3 and i just get soft on ur username for some reason T_T i love our little interactions from time 2 time n i wanna boost that more on the new years!! <3 idk i like u :( that's it thats my say :(

@nightmareupondaydream ツ

kana baby !!! im so grateful for u whenever u send me sweet words at random times ... and when i need it <3 and i missed our chats in dms :( lets do it again sometime !! im gonna be here for u okay :( and you're so sweet fr i love u,, and yeah just talkin about how shitty life is or how my writing goes, let's do that on the new years oki!! <3333

@ravscrii ツ

thank u for being there like really >< ik u have own probs to solve but you still helped me :( ty for being a great listener and supporter hehe <3 u deserve great things !!! and pls dw okay we're good even tho we arent talking that much :( i miss that hehe n ure a kind and funny person ASHS esp in the server ur replies n everything make me laugh :( lets talk more soon like the old times AAAAAA i miss it hehe <3 and goodluck on genshin HAHA pls entertain me w it even tho i don't play </3

@rintaroll ツ

olivia babe <3 omg i missed u sorry 4 not checking on u :( forgive me <//3 just wnna say u totally made my 2020 better n a little more bearable <3 i like ur vibes sm and ur name .. olivia wow i like it :( and oh you're so aesthetic like ur blog in general ??? hello pls step on me :( and u also influenced me (for some reason) to like tsumu more ?! which i dont mind at all .. i like it when we scream over tsumu or i tease u n him getting horknee :D yeah and god i can't forget the time we fangirled over gojo on ur asks ... and u sent me gojo gifs which made me scream <3 one of my unforgettable moments w ya!!

to my hajime anon + mod ツ

thank u for always being here :( and you just chatting w me makes me so happy <3 i hope you'll see this hehe and just thank u and ily yknow :( when im down or happy, or shitty you're just there, supporting me always <3 im so grateful for that!! and hajime anon mod ily :( thank u for taking ur time to chat w me and make me so happy hehe <3 take ur time okay :)

to my baby, stella ツ

AAAAAAA idk if you'll see this but shoot me an ask if u saw :( uhm i love ur vibes and you're so cool !! promise <3 and your theme changes r always so beautiful <3 pls pls i love you so much agh im so worried when u deactivated :( pls dont overwork okay whenever ure working :( i love talkin to u always in ur asks !!! ure so sweet and lovely grr >:( u deserve all d good things okay ily stel :((

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

ASKS (28)

----------------

Anonymous said: Hi ily💓

I love you too! There is love in my heart and you may take some

Anonymous said: Hey hey hey Amesssss!!! what was the first fic you ever wrote?

Well. Technically the first written piece was a play I wrote at around 13? It was about all of the characters from the Percy Jackson series watching Disney’s Hercules together

My first bat fic was this one, back in I want to say 2014

Anonymous said: You are a snack . So cute ❤❤❤❤

[Lizzo voice] baby I’m the whole damn meal 

Anonymous said: You may’ve done badly but you looked fine as heck doing it. (I’m aroace—I’m not hitting on you, I promise). Besides, everybody has off days. Even lawyers.

akhfasufgdlfeas I appreciate the clarification <3

Anonymous said: For my summer job I went through a lawyer’s disaster of an office and let me tell you. 90% of it was Westlaw printouts. Those things are the effing best. They tell you what’s going on, they give you the info you need, they’re not weirdly complicated and hard to find—Westlaw. It may be prohibitively expensive and a symptom of the flaws in our legal system, but by golly it’s the best option.

When you hit that “forms” button......... the magic....... the beauty.....

andromeda270 said: My legal research class got us two free weeks of westlaw(I’m still in college) and when I didn’t finish a paper I made a free trial for the wrong site but they emailed me anyway asking if I was interested in buying and could they talk over the phone. I fessed up and they gave me another free week to work on a paper for some class

That’s how they get you!!!!

collidinglegends said: Lexis is shinier, WestLaw is better

Amen babe

Anonymous said: Please sleep

Who’s got the time

Anonymous said: hi !! quick question . I’ve followed you for a while and i think i asked you this previously but im not sure... do you write Duke ?? would you be comfortable writing him if i sent in a prompt including others in the fam ?

Sure, if I like the prompt. I write Duke every once in awhile, although I wouldn’t say I’m confident doing it. He’s a fairly new character and I stopped reading weeklys about the time I hit law school three years ago

Anonymous said: Hope you feel better soon... I'll pray for you

Ah thank you friend I appreciate you

areverieofchaosdreams said: I'm probably pretty late to this cause I'm not great at time, but your thing is making All the Feelings tm. But in a good way. You and dapanda were the first batfam blogs I ever followed, and it's been a helluva ride. Your way of writing things just pulls me in a way that few do, so thank you. :)

A single tear falls from my lashes, followed by several more because I cry a lot 

hades-in-a-handbag said: Your thing is being the embodiment of goth mom energy Don't know if it's just your literal handle or what but you're so encouraging and motherly and also dark and emotionally scaring with your writing. Very sweet, very spooky

goth mom energy 

Anonymous said: Omgggg ames, ginny is so grown up!!!!!

She is! She’s a teenager 

morallyunequivocal said: not a prompt but oh no i just made myself sad with that last ask

that’s a mood

Anonymous said: You make plushies? Wtf, how did you get to be so talented and adorable at so many things. You’re amazing and I hope law school goes well.

Oh you’re so so sweet

Anonymous said: What law school things have you learned that you could see the bat family deals by with?

Well, I’ve had to take classes about forming and maintaining businesses, finding tax loopholes, writing and litigating contracts, and real property. Those are all things that WE would deal with on the regular. I also took classes on juvenile and adult criminal law, evidence, and police misconduct, which all seem Bat-relevant. At this exact moment I’m taking family law, which would include adoptions, and I have in the past taken classes about trusts and estates.

Anonymous said: Noooooooo no nono 🙏🙏🙏 dont ignore her 💔

Bad kittens get ignored instead of cuddled

crayolapumpkins said: hope the printing isn't too boring !! + I'm loving the fics , your work is always *chef's kiss* !! thank u for ur hard work ✨✨✨

[heart eyes]

Anonymous said: Since you have a big brother and a tiny sister, with that huge gap, what do you feel when you see those Dick & Damian fics or headcanons where Dick sees Damian as both a brother and a son? I know it's kind of canon now, but fandom has even gone as far as having Dick adopt Damian in various situations. Their age gap and their positions in the family allows for that kind of dynamic and I know it's reality for a lot of people too. But what's Your opinions on this? And maybe your brother's?

Huh, that’s a good question. My littlest brother and I are ten years apart, and Dave will tell you flat out I’m his favorite sibling because when I’m home we do everything together. I think the thing those fics are collectively missing is that there doesn’t need to be a brother/father hybrid because the role of Older Sibling With Age Gap is already its own distinct thing. 

Dave and I don’t have the same dynamic as the kids I actively grew up with. We had very limited contact during his growing up years, because I was off at school. Now that he’s a teenager, we communicate like adults but with the caveat that I am In Charge. I dictate the agenda, and I make the decisions unless I choose to delegate them. 

I’ve indulged a request about an adoption before, but I don’t really like that idea very much. Like I said, I don’t feel the need to add “father” into a dynamic that already exists on its own. 

hollyhock13 said: Listen. You’re a middle kid, but not the middle middle kid. You’re towards the older end, but not the oldest. Maybe second or third, depending on how many siblings you have

Correct!

Anonymous said: That is the coolest blanket I've ever seen!!

Isn’t it just 

Anonymous said: We're having a big adoption event tomorrow in Houston and we sent all the animals in our shelter down there. Our supervisors are in Houston too so us few kennel techs left at the shelter are scrubbing the place from top to bottom. We have music playing on the loud speaker and just ordered pizza. It's a great day. :)

:D

Anonymous said: Pls continue the Tim and hallucination Damian thing im on edge

Anonymous said: Bls bls bls continue the tim hallucinating dami fic, bc its killing me in the best way. My heart. It hurts. That shit hurted.

maybe

Anonymous said: Ames, thoughts on the new joker movie?

I haven’t seen it, although I probably will when I get the time

Anonymous said: Idk if this is a secret, more like a guilty confession. I really, REALLY hope Damian turns out asexual, or at least romantically unattached. I LOVE that most of his good interactions are with his vaious Bat siblings, Jon, Maps and his pets. Everyone loves shopping him with varuova characters and it makes me hesitate to share my opinion incase I'm looked at weirdly. But having a character I look up to be asexual would be amazing.

I would really like that too anon

Anonymous said: what do you think about Drake & his new outfit?

ugly

Anonymous said: Alfred Pennyworth is the baddest bitch

You are not incorrect

bruciewayneisbatman said: Amy and Kenza are the bittersweet queens of this fandom. The both of you are absolutely evil and tooth-rotting sweet at the same time. I love you two for that, btw.

<3 thanks Esther 

[bi-lullaby]

I loved your last rankings so much that I'm sending you another fun (?!) challenge! How would you rate all these male GA characters from your favorite to least favorite, no ties allowed? :) Alex, Derek, Richard, Mark, Owen, Jackson, Burke, George, Andrew, Linc and Ben? Good luck, and as always, feel free to include your reasons why because I love your answers!

Ohhh boy you give me life with those asks! Here we go:

1 - As no surprise to anyone: Alex. My baby had the best character development I’ve ever seen, really, brcaus ewhile it was huge, it was also paced and believable and stabilished and non-linear. He was a huge asshole with a concealed heart of gold in season one. In season 15, he’s a golden boy with a concealed asshole side, and the growth/diminishment of those sides weren’t always inversely proportionate, but adjusted to what each characteristic was brought out more by his surroundings/worked more on by himself. Also, he’s the person that has stuck with mer for the longest and through the most, which would put him in a high place in this list even if he wasn’t my favorite on his own. I also adore how, thematically, he’s so moved by the women in his life (bot just the romantic i terests while we are at it) for the betterment of himself and hsi ways. It’s not like Owen’s “I’ll need her to take care of me emptionally and shape herself to my desires so I can be in a good place, it’s recognizing those positive influences in his life and trying to emulate them/work with them/learn from them. Also about his theme, itms less the worn-out “guy is validated in being an asshole bc he had a tough life” and more “guy learns that his tough life doesn’t mean he gotta act like an asshole”. I love this character so much, ugh.

2 - Ben. A freaking Disney prince would be a sleeazy douche in comparison. I was so weirded out when Shobda decided to give so much focus to this random-ass character, then I was really turned off by his storyline with the cutting people open and all that (not necessarily because I thought he was wrong, I just felt the storyline was handled awkwardly and made him sound pelutant and irresponsible instead of a promissing, if stubborn, future surgeon. I’ve yet to watch Station 19, but this angel with a scalpel and a fire hose for wings deserves his own goddamn spin-off, for sure.

3 - My baby Andrew. Yeah, he is not that developed, has been inconsistent, his change from “freaking out over Maggie being his boss” to “marvellung at Meredith’s every movie even though she’s kinda even more his boss because she owns the hospital” was... A B R U P T. But I really enjoy this new Andrew - as a side note: I could not care less for him during the whole Sam storyline, he seemed like a toned down Jonhy Bravo - He’s smart and sweet and funny and worships Mer like the Wonder Woman she is. His relationships with Arizona, Amelia, Jo, Carina and now Alex need more screentime because they’re great (or have the potential to be so). He’s competent and brilliant and selfless (dropping the charges on Alex even if he was completely in the right, taking the blame for mer now) and so tender (his absolute gentleness in peds, taking care of Amy after the operation, being a moody, emotive boy because he lost his love instead of a macho men...). The future holds great things for him, and I’m excited to watch them unfold!

4 - Not on your list but I love: Tom. Boy is he nice. As I was figuring out this order, I realized he reminds me a lot of my favorite character (Dean Winchester) - or at least what I think Dean would be if he was older, richer and lived without the Supernatural World and so many traumas. His talk to April was so moving and I felt it really helped. He doesn’t stand on a moral high horse: He does what he thinks is right and damned be judgment. He’s empathetic, he’s romantic, he treats Teddy RIGHT. He deserves to have his own storyline and be more developed and show us kore of his awesomeness.

5 - Jackson. As I said in my ships rating answer, I’ve only started to care for him recently, but I really do care. He’s not a character I’d, like, write fic about, or long rants and meta, but I love his sibling-esque relationship with Mer and his relationship with Maggie and the way he connects with his mom and how this spoiled, immature transfer with something to prove became a respected, innovative surgeon and father who’s secure of himself and ready to explore different paths and ways and worldviews. I just wish him, and the Grey’s fandom, would be less defensive about the callout of his privileged life. Like. I’ve seen people write paragraphs upon paragraphs about how Maggie was a bitch for calling him privileged. And he is (for his hoards upon hoards of money growing up). That’s not too hard a concept to grasp. Plus, it’d be nice if he could treat Maggie as less of a consolation prize/second chance. Just because faith (or lack thereof) was a source of tension in his previous marriage, and he feels like changing that would have made everything better, doesn’t mean the same applies to his current relationship, or that Maggie is the one who should change -he learned, learned, and is back in square one seeing only his side of it - I really hope this season treats him more kindly and gives him happiness and peace!

6 - Richard. I love him for his parental-and-ish relationships, specially to Maggie, Mer and Jackson, but to Bailey and Callie too. That’s my favorite aspect of him, watching those gives me a nice, warm feeling in my tummy and puts a smile on my face. There’s some aspects of him I find either boring or unpleasant, and I think it’s kinda annoying how him retiring has been a theme/conflict since, like, season one, and fast-foward ten years and he’s basically an entity at the hospital. Like? What? Was the point? You’ve waisted my time? For nothing? But he’s a solid, reliable character you can’t really hate and who brings more good than bad to the show by far. As a side note: one day I will yell at him for his treatment of Maggie after she talked about HER OWN HISTORY and he basically called her a mistake (although he apologized pretty soon and she forgave him so so will I).

7 - Mark. He was great and all that, but never sparked that love some characters did. I was sad when he died, I loved his scenes and relationships, I just am not invested in him. Plus the immaturity in his relationship with Lexie pisses me off a bit, as does his “man whore” personality.

8 - Link. Genuinely love him, he’s been nothing but sweet and kind and fun and helpful this entire time! I cheered for Merlink sooooo much imat first, and I really wish their friendship will be developed! Him and Jo are everything I never knew I needed. He has no arguable flaws besides being so sculped it freaks me out a little bit, but he isn’t higher up in my rank because there isn’t much material for that yet, but expect a climb as he becomes more and more regular.

9 - Burke. He was kinda sweet and did a good thing for Cristina (the hospital). He was also manipulative and arrogant and voundary-crossing in their relationship. I might like him better if it was bot for Burktina, but we will never know.

10 - Owen. Toxic as fuck, annoying, controlling, disgusting. Those are all things that very much apply to Owen in a lot of situations. Screaming at Cristina for “murdering their baby”? YIKES. Big no no. He was not suited for romantic relationships at all and I wish the show would realize that and allow him that space and breathing time without being stuck in a complicated relationship with loads of baggage or a love triangle. Because that’s my whole thing about him: I believe he has room for growth. His relationship with April is pretty amazing, he was always so considerate and gentle with her, all the time, and I want to see more of that bond. He loves kids and can be really good with them, he has a lot of things to work out with the traumas of his father’s death + war + his sister’s story. Why not focus on that? Why not show him growing and processing and bettering himself and living up to the potential he has? I feel like they gave the all the wrong romantic storylines to the character who’s otherwise really good and that’s such a shame because I really enjoyed him at first. Lets see what happens from now on, and if he gets a dose of tv’s “heterosexual love and a nuclear biological family solve everything!” medicine or if this is a turning point for him.

11 - Derek. He never really had any appeal to me. Not his face, not his personality, not his storylines or plot points pr the actor. That’s reason enough for him to rank low, but I also think he had some really bad traits. He was arrogant and condescending and had a God complex and was sexist and pushy and just not great for the people around him. Exploiting Amy’s addiction being outed to steal surgeries? Refusing to give Mer credit on their clinic trial? Putting ultimatums on his girlfriend that she either has to be ready for a full, committed relationship or end things, then call her a slut when she sleeps with other guys after they broke up? Cheating on Addison after deciding to work things out? Stringing mer and addie along? Not saying he was married in the first place? Pushing Mer’s boundaries after she was clearly uncomfortable with having slept with her boss? Refusing to have an inch of empathy for Mer’s action regarding the trial despite her complicated history with the people she was trying to help (who were her friends, actually?)? Telling his depressed girlfriend that she should be concerned the happiest part of his day was flirting with another girl from the bar? Ratting out on Richard to the board because he wanted the spot? Not acknowledging Mer’s trauma after the shooting? Kissing nurse Rose while building the dream house? Kissing his student while being married in NY? Pushing his wife to move and saying his career was more important than his after he had compromised on letting her shine? All things that, isolated, can even be understood on context and “everyone makes mistakes”, but that when put together, make it pretty clear it’s a pattern of someone with very little regard to the people around him. Was he a good surgeon? Yeah. Great father as well. He also had some interesting relationships and iconic scenes, truly, I can recognize that. I hurt for the people he loved and left behind (and I genuinely think he loved them and meant well), but he himself I don’t miss at all.

12 - I think George is the clearest contrast between how old greys handled matters of sexism and gender and sexuality and how it does now. He was such a sleazy nice guy at times, it is unbearable to me. And he ranks lower than Derek because A) His relationships also bored me while Derek’s could pique my interest at times, B) There’s no talk about his mistakes. Remember when he (in his own words) took advantage of Meredith being on a terrible, delicate, vulnerable place (still hiding her mother’s Alzheimer’s and seeing a person be blown to pieces and being dumped by who she thought was the one and being rejected by her father for the second time after seeing him for the first time in tweenty years) and, knowing that she was not interested in him, pursued her, then after she started crying because of the literal pile of shit she was having to carry around (and still trying to preserve his feelings), got mad at her and everyone sided with him? It baffled younger me to bits that what Mer had “done” was so terrible, it has not stoped bafflinn me in the years that have passed since. Can you imagine any of the girls crying during sex because they’re so overwhelmed and feel like that’s a mistake, and the guy freaks out on them and they’re instantly ostracized by the narrative and characters? That’s essentially criticizing her for the right of saying no, of stopping when she doesn’t want to continue, of not giving away her time and feels just because a goofy guy who is her friend feels entitled to them. That’s the word: entitled. He literally says he “saw her first”. How’s that not Nice Guy 101? I would understand his ego being bruised, but the guilt tripping and the bitching and the fact none of that is treated as a fucking creepy thing? Yikes. Also how he treated Callie, who deserved so, so much better. And even Olivia who was perfectly lovely and did nothing wrong besides having sex with more than one guy without breaking either of their trusts because she wasn’t in a relationship with any of them. Did he do some good things? Sure did! Joey’s surgery costs being cut, helping Bailey give birth, some of his interactions with patients were really sweet, and he died giving his life for someone else. It’s just that consequence-less sexism and entitlement that never gets adressed and gets treated as not only valid, but right, that makes him go rom unappealing to downright hated for me. Better left in the past where people can misplacedly idolize him!

Thank you so much for asking, I love those thought-inspiring asks! <3

[hyyunjinn]

    I swear if I forgot someone, and I feel like I am because I’m so bad at keeping track of things, I’m gonna go scream. ALSO: all those tags and mentions I’ve been tagged in, I swear I saw them but it was usually when I’m in the middle of doing something and I didn’t want to reblog aND THEN I JUST LOST THE TAG so I’m sorry ; - ;

    But uh, I. Reached. 3K. Followers. On this blog a while ago actually I’m just that lazy of a person and I never do anything on time. And I just wanted to say thank you so much for supporting me and screaming about Stray Kids daily? I haven’t been feeling the greatest emotionally which is why this might turn into a rant—but I just want to use my emotional energy for something good and that’s saying thank you! This is the first time a community has shown so much interest in my work and supporting it and I really, really can’t say how much I appreciate you all. I’ve been creating content for a while now, but it just never got the support I hoped for and,,, idk—just the fact that you guys like this blog just makes me so happy. And it’s not just the gifs: the gfx and writing that I post are the ones I care more about and I’ve gotten so many positive comments on it ahhhhhhh I want to hug each and everyone of you.   

    I know I don’t respond that well and those who tried to talk to me are probably disappointed by how I keep up a conversation but aklsfjasf I want to use this an appreciation post for all the wonderful people I met because of Stray Kids. Also, I want to say that, I’ve tried to talk and support you guys all—even if I don’t follow you, I lurk your blog and stuff—it’s just wow, we’re getting really big and I feel bad not being able to interact with everyone BUT I WANT TO SAY THAT ALL OF YOU ARE SO AMAZING AND WONDERFUL AND YOU WORTH MORE THAN YOU BELIEVE YOU DO. I think it’s easier for me to talk about random stuff on kakaotalk so uhhh, if you wanna shoot me a message my id is cicikookie!    

    And just to my followers in general: thank you so much for sticking around haha. I see a lot of regular usernames and lurk sometimes haha so ;)) Thank you ♡

    Thank you again for being so supportive and I love interacting with all of you: LET’S SUPPORT STRAY KIDS TOGETHER FOR A LONG TIME!

    So, I guess I’ll start with the personalized messages:

@changlix Wow Lexi, you were my first friend in this fandom anD IDK WHAT IT WAS THAT MADE ME DROP MY USERNAME TO YOU BUT AKLSJFALSF LOL I’M SO GLAD WE’RE FRIENDS because everyone loves you and you’re amazing and I love your blog and everything and alskdfjaslfd you’re really crazy but I love you and ahHhHhhh. I know you’re busy with life, but whenever we talk even for like 2 messages at a time, I love it so much. ESPECIALLY WHEN WE WERE THROWING SHADE AT EACH OTHER EARLY ON. I still. Can’t believe. yOUR PROFILE PICTURE IS STILL HYUNJIN ON TWT WYD GIRL. And you calling me a hoe—wow, I keep that close to my heart. HAHA BUT ALL JOKES ASIDE, I appreciate you so much for being the inclusive self that you are and keep being amazing. Okay, I’ll admit: when you told me to “take care of your man properly or i’m coming for him cici” I THINK THAT’S THE REASON I’M STILL LOYAL TO HIM OR I WOULD��VE SWERVED AGES AGO. Thanks Lexi, you’re best ;) altho how could you come for him when i am taking care of him, traitor

@manny27lei I’m adding you here but I don’t even wanna write you anything hAH. YOU DON’T EVEN TALK ABOUT SK. MAKE A SIDEBLOG AND I MIGHT

jk ily thanks for listening to me cry everyday and laskfdjasf it’s crazy how we met because of sk but it’s not even because of sk, it’s because of svt whoops

@seungminty yOU’RE STILL MY FAVE SEUNGMIN STAN AND YOU FOREVER WILL BE. ULT SEUNGMIN STAN. And ofc vocal line enthusiast. Thank you for being you and asklfdjasldf goodness, sometimes I worry that you’re being too hard on yourself MAR ILY AND THE GC LOVES YOU AND BE CONFIDENT! YOU’RE AMAZING AND A TIIINY BIT OF YOURSELF GOTTA FLAUNT IT. You keep the chat going and ahhHhhH I don’t even know how much I want to say the fact that I appreciate you so much. Thank you thank you thank you ♡ random confession: you make me really soft because you’re so soft and i just wanna hug you until everything goes well for you

@princeminho ASFKLJASLFD MAHI! MY CEREAL BUDDY! I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WERE A actually, the fact that he was your icon should’ve told me bUT WHAT. MINHO STAN SINCE DAY ONE? WHY DID IT TAKE YOU SO LONG TO ADMIT IT AHAHHAHAHAH I’M STILL SO SHOOK. You’re so lowkey about your love for him and I feel and it’s really cute and lksadfjalsd FAVE MINHO STAN BC I DON’T FEEL LIKE I NEED TO FIGHT YOU UNLIKE SOMEONE/ Thank you for just hanging around and taking our shit and just being you—I love talking to you so much, you’re so amazing and ♡♡♡♡♡

@9traykids I give up. You can have Minho. You save me every time you send in Hyunjin photos and I cannot appreciate you enough hAH THEY’RE SO CUTE AND I JUST START SPAZZING OUT AND ALSFJDASDF that one photo where you badly edited with “i ♡ cici” I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THAT AHHHHH. stop making me cry ; - ; I love talking to you and you’re so randomly funny and laskdfjasf THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU ILY ♡♡♡♡♡

@seungchanie HI YOU AMAZING PERSON I LOVE YOU SOSOSOOSOSO MUCH YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW. I’m not quite even sure how we met but it’s like one of those friendships where it feels like it’s been forever because, everything is just a blur but there are good moments, you know what I mean? Vale, I love you so much—you’re so cute and friendly and whenever we talk, I get so excited because you’re so excited and hehe aHHHHHHHH LEMME JUST HUG YOU. You’re always there and yOUR CONTENT. I LOVE YOUR CUTE LITTLE FANARTS AND THAT 3RACHA SCIFI AU WTF I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR YOUR AMAZINGNESS. You have a really simplistic style and I love it so much mwah

@hyunjinh laksdjf hi jas!! oKAY CAN I JUST SAY YOU’RE PROBABLY MY TUMBLR CRUSH BUT LIKE, WE TALKED BEFORE BUT I STILL DON’T ASLKDFJASD IDK YOU’RE REALLY COOL AND I REALLY LIKE TALKING TO YOU but idk how to keep a convo going and ahHhhHh LOWKEY BLUSHING BC I REALLY LIKE YOU HAHAH you’re really amazing and I love your blog and I hope we can become better friends hehe.

@straykidzz OKAY TBH IDEK WHEN OR HOW BUT THE FACT THAT WE NEVER HAD LIKE, A PROPER CONVERSATION and yet we act like good friends is aslkdfjasldf—maybe it’s a mutual thing hehe aHHH MANDA ILYSM AND JUST SEEING YOU ON MY DASH MAKES ME SO HAPPY. Or maybe it’s the fact that you’ve been here as long as me heheh. I hope we get to know each other better and skajflasdf W A H ♡♡♡♡♡♡ TAKE MY HEARTS

@chanbng Fishy, you. are SO AMAZING — we never seem to be on the chat at the same time but you’re so sweet and lasdfjasdlf wow i’m highkey crushin haha AHHHHHHHI JUST WANNA SAY I LOVE YOUR WORK SO MUCH AND THANKS FOR BEING YOU and i hope we get to talk more heheh

@aussieline KLASDFJALKSDF YA BIBI WE NEVER ACTUALLY HAD A REAL CONVERSATION BUT JUST, THIS MUTUAL THING WE GOT GOING ON? ILYSM YOU ARE SO AMAZING AND YOUR ARTWORK ALWAYS MAKES ME SMILE AND AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH we gotta talk more omg but thank you for providing my dark life with cute fanart and cute tags, you’re adorable

@jeongin-ie sup smol softie ilySM WE GOTTA START CHATTING FOR REAL OR SMTH YO which means i should be the one who sends the message but laskdfjsadf i su k but i also want to be better friends with you ; - ; hit me up with your kkt thO THEN WE CAN CHAT PLSPSPSLSPSL i hate chatting on tumblr lmao CJ, YOUR WORK IS AMAZING AND YOUR BLOG IS CUTE AND YOU’RE CUTE thanks for being you :)

@strgaykids Okay. I SAW YOUR 3K POST THING AND YOU ARE SO PRETTY I NEARLY FELL OFF MY CHAIR CONGRATS ON HITTING THE MILESTONE TOO! You make the fandom so much more fun and I love the shitposts you have TBH, I REALLY HOPE WE GET TO BECOME FRIENDS OR SOMETHING BECAUSE YOU SEEM, I was gonna say chill, but maybe lit? but that doesn’t really make anysense—tHE POINT IS: hiimciciandihopewe’lltalklaterinthefuturehehebyegottablast

@spearbin asklfjdsaldf pffffffft Camille right? YOU ARE SO TALENTED AND I JUST, LOVE YOU AS A PERSON AND SEEING YOU SPAZZ OUT IN THE TAGS IS SO CUTE and i have a highkey tumblr crush on you but like, we’ve interacted before and >///< AHHHH HIHIHI I REALLY WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND BUT I’M SUPER AWKAWRD I HIGHKEY HOPE YOU DON’T SEE THIS BUT YOU PROBABLY WILL AND PFFFFFT I’LL JUST, LEAVE NOW

@chanskitty AHHHHH DIAN HOW ARE YOU?????? I know we don’t talk as much anymore but — ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ You’re so amazing and chill and ahhhhhhhh. You are taking care of yourself right? Getting sleep? I HOPE WE GET TO TALK MORE SOON ♡ I’LL SEND A MESSAGE OR SMTH tag you in something????/// :DD

@realstraykids Did you know it took me a couple of weeks (or was it days) after following you to realize that your url is the same handle as Stray Kids’ official ig name alskfdjasdf I FACEPALMED MYSELF SO HARD LMAO — also hold on, I didn’t know you’re minho bIASED AH YESSSSSSSSSS Em. I really hope we get to know each other better beCAUSE YOU’RE SO COOL AND I LOVE YOUR EDITS SO MUCH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH They’re really different but a good kind of different and tell me your ways of sitting in front of a computer screen and masking each frame of a moving object hOW I HATE DOING THAT

@stray-k1ds hOLy cow I don’t think i actually know your name—is it Tiffany? I THINK WE FORGOT TO INTRODUCE OURSELVES—I’m Cici! AND I LOVE TALKING TO YOU YOU’RE SO CUTE AND LASKFJAAKD I love your cute little scenarios and all that and keep up the good work!!!!!!! I HOPE WE CAN BECOME BETTER FRIENDS AY

@jeongn pfft Nicolle, you actually haVEN’T DONE ANYTHING IN A WHILE THAT MADE ME WANT TO BLOCK YOU AHAHHALSFKJASLDF i still can’t get that image of tired chan and his accent coming out whAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME you can be so cool and so fREAKING TALENTED I CAN’T BELIEVE SOMEONE LIKE YOU FOLLOWS M E. I love the times we do actually talk, so! :))) I hope we become better friends ayyYyyyyYYY

@stray4419 hehehehehe i know we just started talking but Chi, you are so kindhearted and i’ve said it twice and i’ll say it again: thank you so so so much for personally offering me a shoulder to cry on haha. You have no idea how touched I was and I really can’t thank you enough. LET’S MEET UP SOMETIME AND CRY ABOUT STRAY KIDS TOGETHER YO AHHHHHHHHH

@woojinskids eASILY YOU’RE MY FAVE WOOJIN STAN M. YOU’RE SO SOFT FOR HIM AND READING YOUR TAGS FOR HIM IS SO CUTE I actually fall in love with him even more every time you talk about him aahahh I know we don’t talk as much but I really love seeing you around ♡

@chxngbins NehaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I MISS TALKING TO YOUUUUUUU and your old username not gonna lie alskdfjasdf whoops but AHHH YOU’RE SO CUTE and smart wow and asldfkjsdf I wish I was as levelheaded as you pFFT. You are so amazing and smol and i associate you with that picture of namjoon eating pizza lmao BUT AHHHH KEEP BEING YOU ILYSM

@felixsfreckles I WAS LOOKING THROUGH MY FOLLOWING LIST AND ASLKDFJASLDFK WTF I CAN’T BELIEVE I WASN’T FOLLOWING YOU THE ENTIRE TIME i feel so bad omg i’m sorry—actually hold on, are you not a felix stan anymore wH A T. but alskfa hiiiiii thanks for being amazing!!!!!!!!  idk, you’re like one of those mutuals that, I’m sorta comfortable knowing that you exist? because you are so nice and we’ve been on here for so long kinda thing haha ♡

@bunny-minsungie asfjkdhsda I KNOW OUR CHAT IS PRETTY MUCH ALL BUSINESS SOUNDING/RELATED NOW BUT I JUST WANNA TAKE THE TIME TO SAY THANK YOU FOR BEING AMAZING and doing so much ; - ; Now that I think about it, we don’t even talk about anything else noooooooo but I really appreciate you Lys ♡ and that demon!hyunjin au is seriously taking over me omf

@bbang-channie Dude Leah, you are so cool omg—you’re so inviting and fun to talk to and AHHHHH I REALLY HOPE WE GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER BECAUSE LKSDJAFLSDF FROM THE SHORT TIME WE’VE TALKED VIA GCs, I love it  ; - ; UGH I FEEL SO BAD FOR NOT KNOWING WHAT ELSE TO SAY BUT!!! I APPRECIATE YOU BUDDY!!  

@seoracha I KNOW YOU’RE NOT EVEN HERE ANYMORE but i just wanna say you the craziest triple biaser i’ve met probably the only triple biaser i know and honestly idek how your brain works but lmao miri you’re so cool ily

@utlwoojisung @kim-squishmin @doublekn0t @chanyeolsidepiece @vallkyr @hi-hello32 @sparklingthoughtss @straykidding @indiepoptime @f3lix-lee @ultchris @maaatryoshka @straykidsstan @softlix OKOK I KNOW WE’VE TALKED BEFORE/ARE MESSAGING/SOMEHOW INTERACTED AND YOU SEEM COOL but alksdfsd like, I don’t know you guys as well bUT I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU ALL TOO AND I HOPE WE CAN GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER! :))

Ummmm, here are people that I follow and don’t really know but uhhhh ihopewegettotalkonedayahahiwantmorefriendsandyouguysseemreallycooltotalktoahhh @jicue @chans97 @cosychans @lees-minho @leefelixs @chngbins @changbinsplushie @starrykids @softstraykids @sprearb @stray-keeds-in-yo @straykeeds @hyuunjins @bvian @straybros @straykidsmp3 @straykiz @straybabies @stkids @1straykids @felixeslee @jeonginie @jeongin @str4y-kids @bchanies @changbln

[voightsgirl]

Your Voight post made me think, and I think CPD doesn't get enough appreciation re: how they seem to effortlessly go against a lot of toxic masculinity. Like, there's been any issues with the guys crying or expressing their love for each other, and it's never made into a joke or followed with a no homo reaction or smthn like that and idk I guess I really appreciate the male friendships in CPD. Even the rest of the franchise doesn't do so well as this imo (not counting justice bc it's still new)

You know I started replying to this and then I realised that I’ve never really thought about the male characters in that much depth…I’m the first to sing about how amazing Erin and Burgess are, as well as male characters individually, but when I really thought about how well the men have been created, I ended up with an entire essay so apologies it’s so long but I just love this show and these guys. Also since there’s been a lot of negativity in light of *cough* recent events, I thought it would be nice to show my appreciation, so here goes. Feel free to add examples/contradictions/points/other ideas etc!!

Something I need to say before beginning: I find it really, really difficult to empathise with male characters. It’s just harder for me to really relate to their issues. And I think a huge reason for this is just that being a female character in these shows and these professions is just harder. And therefore there are a certain amount of fundamental difficulties that each female character has to face, and since being a female in general involves a lot of these struggles, it’s much easier for other women to look at these characters and see themselves in them. Look at Erin and Burgess struggling to keep their hard work and intelligence a more valuable feature to their unit than their bodies. Look at April and Maggie trying not to be undermined by their male, more qualified co-workers - and Manning being a single, working mum. Look at Gabby beating the odds and becoming a firefighter even though no one thinks she can do it because she’s small and female.

And I love that this show can do that: take these vital professions and give them amazing, well developed, multifaceted female characters whose constant struggles are so relatable for any female watching because we’ve all been there.

But what PD does that I just don’t see so much in the others (Fire does it to an extent, but I can’t really think of any examples in Med - although it’s my least favourite and so I’m probably not the best person to make analyses based on it, feel free to correct me if I’m wrong) is do the same with the males. And it’s something that I have never seen on a TV show before. There’s no “no-homo” bullshit, there’s no reservations around being friends. They hug each other when they’re worried about them, they do the friendly shoulder squeezes and arm-punches and fist-bumps. They go out for drinks together. They trust each other and look out for each other and they talk to each other about how they feel. And it’s really, really nice to see.

People go the extra mile when writing female characters (although admittedly, as a teenage girl I’m probably not using the widest sample range of TV shows) because they know that either a) their audience is mostly female, or b) they’re worried about sexist accusations. Women have always been victims of horrible media tropes, so I’m so, so glad that they do go this extra mile - I love seeing female friendships more than anything else in the world - but because people are so aware of the issue surrounding female characters, they’ve taken that into consideration, while assuming that there isn’t actually a problem with their male characters.

What Chicago PD does that I think is incredible from a characterisation point of view is they take these archetypal cop characters - the dirty cop (Voight), the by-the-book cop (Antonio), the shell-shocked veteran cop (Halstead), the old-cop young cop (Ruzek and Ollinsky) and the gentle giant (Attwater). **there are more, such as Attwater arguably being the “token minority” and Ruzek being the “fair cop” but you get the idea. They all seem to represent one of the main tropes that are almost always present in cop shows (at least all the ones I’ve watched).

And the show doesn’t subvert the tropes, not exactly - even though doing so would be so much easier - but they three-dimensialise (idk if that’s a word just roll with me here) all the characters on top of these fundamental archetypes. ie:

Voight is a dirty cop. He kills people in the name of justice, he’s used dirty money and lied under oath and done things that probably should have lost him his badge a million times. And yet, he works tirelessly for the protection of his city. He loves his son with everything he has, and his grandson, and his daughter-in-law. He took in a 13(?) year old who’d been hooked on heroin and arrested for solicitation and loves her like she’s his own daughter. He made amends with the guy who put his son in jail. He always, always fights for the underdog and doesn’t let the system take advantage of them. He treats his unit as if they are his “family” - literally his words - and he has formed relationships with every single one of them, bending the rules and putting his neck and badge on the line if they ever do anything wrong or against the rules. (Example: 3x05)

Antonio plays by the rules, that’s just who he is. He believes in the system more than Voight does, arguably because he’s always been on the right side of it. But that doesn’t mean he’s not willing to make compromises if those he really cares about are on the line - he is more than willing to turn a blind eye to other people’s ‘interpretations’ of the law, and he will do everything in his power to fight his way using the rules of the system before he breaks them. (1x02, 3x01)

Halstead’s military history I think is one of the most interesting aspects of this show because he had the potential to turn into a “cold sniper” as I think is the norm with ex-military characters, and yeah, he was affected in ways that we don’t even know - and may never fully understand - by what he saw and did in his tour(s). But he’s so selfless and sweet and supportive. His PTSD and general commitment issues mean that he can’t open up to everyone but he still lets them open up to him, being Erin’s #1 supporter, and he’s finally started to work on looking after his mental health properly and learning how to ask for help. He’s kind and caring and understands the importance of sacrifice and, like Voight, is willing to bend the rules a little bit - even if he’s always there to question Voight’s methods. (3x17, 4x18 - deleted scene)

Ruzek is the token rookie of the show, and the audience is placed in the same boat as him when initially learning the ropes of the unit and how everyone fits. He’s the young and attractive one (I mean….), and he does exhibit those typical rookie traits: he’s rash and reckless and cocky and definitely not as cynical as any of the others, but at the same time he has a huge heart, he’s sweet and caring, and he can be as tough as hell when someone he loves is in danger. He doesn’t have the “tortured romantic” side to him and he has a typical cop family tree, but he’s the person I feel like most people can probably relate to - someone who puts themselves in harm’s way every single day for no reason other than he wants to make a difference. (1x01, 1x11)

Ollinsky is the other dirty cop, although he functions more as an assistant to the dirty cop. He has the tough coldness about him that you would probably expect Jay to have instead, if following these tropes by the book, and he comes across as very sinister and quite scary. And yet he is an absolute darling around Lexi and Michelle and when Lexi died and Meredith was kidnapped, he totally lost control. Despite all the coldness and being closed-off he is perhaps the most emotional of them all, grieving and crying and not caring about how tough he is when someone he loves is threatened. (4x16)

Attwater is the gentle giant of the show and although this doesn’t need much more explaining, he, alongside Erin, is also the token minority of the unit (even more so now that Antonio’s left and Burgess has joined Erin in Intelligence) and although this trope is constantly seen as a bad thing, using a token character to avoid criticism of being racist in casting choices, in PD Attwater opens the door to addressing cases of police racism, corruption and brutality against ethnic minorities, and the episodes in which they do deal with this, Attwater is quick to express his opinion on the matter and challenge within seconds everything that’s wrong with the institution and their society. But on top of all that, he has relatives in prison, he’s expected to be a big tough “scary black man”, but in actuality he looks after his two younger siblings and does stand-up comedy and probably gives the best bear hugs ever.

And the support system that these six men have together (or five, now that Antonio’s left) is incredible to watch. They understand barriers, they know when to push and when to give each other space, they all work together so well in such a potentially toxic environment without even a hint at this hyper-masculinity that is so huge in other cop shows. They’re all just bros.

What’s also great is that even though there’s a lil bit of that bro-masculine culture especially when Erin goes undercover and dresses up all nice, they’re never anything but perfect gentlemen. There’s no teasing and no sexist remarks about her legs or whatever, they all just seem genuinely impressed by how pretty she looks and how well she does her job. Adam even says things like “there’s about a thousand things I could say right now but won’t” because they all respect Erin and Burgess and support them as much as each they do each other. They don’t care if the women do better jobs than them, or save them, or shoot more accurately than them, and they’d never dream of undermining their femininity while doing so.

Other examples of the bros being bros:

Antonio getting Jay into the unit in the first place as a thank you for helping out Gabby (Chicago Fire, season 2 sometime, mentioned later when Antonio leaves)

Voight literally crying on Alvin’s shoulder after Justin’s death

Every single one of Jay and Mouse’s interactions, especially when they talk about their time in the military and Jay realises how much he cares about his friend when Mouse wants to re-enlist and when Mouse is taken hostage (4x05, 3x03)

Antonio and Voight’s entire friendship and the fact that Voight would go to such measures to help Diego even after Antonio was the one to put the cuffs on and send him to jail

Attwater and Ruzek being bros until the end and *sniff* the whole best man thing 

They all buy Antonio a zimmer frame when he gets shot isn’t that just beautiful

Ruzek hugging Al after Lexi’s death and his little “I don’t know what to say” and “can I hug you?” - like he knows Al might just want space but he has to let him know he’s there for him

They all get so upset when Jay is taken. Just watch the scene where they see the video of his torture and their faces break me. They can’t handle the idea that someone so close to them - their brother - is in so much pain. (3x01)

Seriously tho just look at these bros

So I was just gonna write a few paragraphs and sorry this is so long but feel free to add more!! I want to know what everyone else thinks!

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

I finished!!! game time was like something like 138 hours but I spent a good dozen or so hours pausing the game to check my phone or wandering off to make dinner. 

I this said last night in a sleepy 4am haze, but I really enjoyed the ending. It was fun to play. The only time I died was when I accidentally fell into a chasm bc I didn’t realize a goddamn fiend was gonna come barreling out of the hall and ruin my “melee everything” scheme and I scooted myself right off a dang platform and respawned directly in its mouth. Whoops. When the Archon called up the Architect I was very Oh god not another one but then I didn’t have to actually try to kill it ever just avoid it, so that was fine. I LOVED how everyone came out to help at the end. It always seems unbelievable to me that your pals are content to hang back for the boss fight (ME2 I thought did well with having everyone else away on different tasks, and the ME3 citadel mission where everyone goes together is one of my favorite parts of the trilogy). And getting to run around with Kandros (who i love but duty calls and we can never be together) and Reyes (im still Very Sad i had to break up with him) and the Salarians!! and then your team coming in at the end :333 ah. It was a very feel-good, exciting culmination, and I think it fit the tone of the rest of the story well. Part of me was half-expecting disaster like you have to sacrifice Scott or a bunch of citizens or something, and while I eat that sort of tragedy up, I’m glad there wasn’t any for this game. 

Incidentally, all of my screenshots of Scott somehow turned out like this, and so I’ve decided this is a chronic problem his whole life and he has 0 good photos ever even when the rest of the fam comes out lookin great:

ah, Scott. someday i’ll play as him with this Ryder as his sister and it’s gonna have to be a wild ride.

Romance: I romanced Vetra!! I love her a lot as a character but I just kept wishing for more content. And I know I always crave more romancey content but I did feel like her romance arc had a lot less than what I knew people were getting from Jaal’s, especially because it takes you over halfway into the game before you get anything from it. Four flirt opportunities where she doesn’t really flirt back, my Ryder was dying and convinced her crush would never be reciprocated (hence the brief fling with Reyes). But I did LOVE the scenes you do finally get with her, the climbing date was soooo sweet, and I could not stop laughing when she tries to make you dinner. I’m never telling my beautiful girlfriend she doesn’t know how to cook steak. NEVER. she did it perfectly, i love cow. But I just wish there was a scene where YOU could do something for HER. Lexi even tells you that you should show her she’s appreciated and doesn’t have to take care of everyone all the time to be worthy of being liked but then you... never get a chance in game to really do that. Sigh. I definitely have a lot of inner-headcanoning going on for thier relationship. Though Vetra wants to eventually settle down and have a home and i’m... not so sure that’s in the cards for this Ryder. I may tweak the characterization of my Vetra-romance-ryder in some ways and redo this Ryder with Reyes for real next time. I think next up is gonna be a Jaal playthough though.

But, OVERWHELMINGLY, the relationship I was absolutely most fascinated by the whole game and spent way more time thinking about than romance, was the relationship between Ryder and SAM. I went into endgame thinking that the game really hadn’t gotten into that aspect nearly as much as I wanted, AND THEN!!! SAM GETS DISCONNECTED! And it’s revealed they took over WAY more control of the Pathfinder’s physiology than anyone had even guessed!! it’s not just “SAM can take access of enough systems to stop and then restart your heart” it was “SAM is so intertwined with you that they are integrated into these systems already and their absence makes it almost impossible for the Pathfinder to cope without.” I LOVED IT. I was so ready to address that, like, did Ryder know? Did SAM do it by choice or was it just an effect of Alec’s modifications? 

And then... nothing. You’re linked back up with SAM. No one questions it. You don’t get to talk to Scott about how SAM is different for you than him now. Or at least, not that I’ve found??? to be fair I can’t seem to find Scott post-endgame yet (where is he hiding???? i’ve been all over Meridian after leaving/going back), and I still need to go check out the colonies and see what people there have to say. But it really seems like everyone sort of was like “whew, glad that’s sorted out, SAM’s back and htis could never possibly be an issue again so we will all forget about it and never bring it up again.” There was one colonist before (Fawkes) who was one of the only non-main characters to ask a really detailed question about SAM/what the future of AI is gonna look like in Heleus and I was so psyched for that convo. There’s a couple dialogue responses you can take, I went with:

becuase I really like the idea that Ryder starts to think of themselves as not just Ryder, but a Ryder-And-SAM partnership. There’s a lot of sacrifice in that. You’re admitting that your body is not just You anymore, but a team where both sides are valued.

I’ve spent a lot of the game thinking about Ryder’s internal dialogues with SAM, and the dynamic it would add to their relationship. You don’t have a voice that lives inside your head (and gives you its 100% undivided attention while you’re in the field) and not end up talking to it all the time. SAM asks you questions back on the Tempest when you talk to them and I bet they would when out and about as well, just privately. There’s a line in one of the Vaults where Ryder starts talking to herself and then catches it--

--because she gets more and more accustomed to not being the only one in her head. SAM is always there. More than that, they always have your back, and are ready to feed you whatever you need to get the mission done. They’re not just a voice, they’re a tool; and they’re not just a tool, they’re a support system. Maybe Ryder knows just how intertwined SAM is becoming with theer body, and isn’t just aware, but welcomes it. The Ryders are a fucked up family who aren’t good at talking to each other, but SAM means you never have to be alone again. Someone is always there for you, protecting and watching out for you. 

So in the final mission, when SAM is ripped away from Ryder--it’s not just a physical effect. It’s like losing a part of your soul and a best friend and a, in some ways, a parent--because SAM learned through Alec Ryder before anyone else--and in other ways, a child--because Ryder is responsible for teaching SAM what it means to be a person and how to navigate the world. And I wish you could convey that emotional distress (even if less complex) in the game, and that Ryder was as worried for SAM’s well being as they are for Scott’s when they race to stop the Archon. Becuase in a lot of ways, I think my Ryder would have grown closer to same than she ever did with her brother.

Anyway, I wish the game hadaddressed these things more, but I also accept that like--this is a trope that I just am REALLY into and have been for ages. It’s not gonna be what everyone wants as the main focus, and it just wasn’t the big story they were trying to tell. At the beginning of the game the descriptions of SAM hyped me up so hard because they reminded me very strongly of my favorite short story, Silently And Very Fast by Catherynne Valente (which, if you haven’t read it, it’s really amazing and you can read the first part here (the other 3 parts are linked at the bottom of each chapter), or I can send a pdf of it if you want, it’s really good people read it please and then tell me about your Emotions). The story veered off not long into the plot of the game (I, along with many others, suspected for a while that SAM would turn out to be like the mother’s consciousness integrated into the AI or something) but I stayed pretty invested in it as a major part of my Ryder’s experience in Heleus. 

And like, I guess this would be something I’ll probably end up doing fic about now since the game didn’t give me as much as I wanted (and I only meant to write a short paragraph about it here and now i have like 9 whoops), so I’ll probably keep thinking about it with the rest of my Ryders. There’s so much potential there. Jade Ryder really grew attached to SAM, but there’s also potential for resentment there--SAM is always watching, Ryder essentially gives up any aspect of privacy in their life, even if SAM is polite enough not to comment on it.

wow this got away from me. anyway. that’s the game!!!!! i’m running around making sure i’ve talked to everyone still. I need to go check up on the colonies and stuff, but I did pretty much everything else before the last mission, so there’s not much to play. Just some assignments that don’t have navpoints. and then start thinking about my next Ryder!!! I played Jade Ryder as pretty logical and professional, with a tendency to open up more with people as she grew to know them better, though she struggled to be open/heartfelt when talking to Angara when her natural conversation style with them flopped hard at first. I think my next Ryder who I still need to name is gonna be way more casual/joke-y (tho i think Ryder is HILARIOUS no matter what, it’s so fun to have such a lighthearted protag) and probably more reckless and prone to following their whims. Gonna have to re-battle the CC though which I’m not so much looking forward to. 

oh also re: the second picture: i FUCKING LOVE that you beat the architect on Elaaden so hard it shoots itself into orbit and slowly decays and you can just sit there and watch it slowly fizzle in the cold vacuum of space

[ts-caymanislands]

Daniel’s Opening Statement

Hello everyone! First off I’d just like to say I’m honored to be here in the final, especially since this is my first tumblr org. Coming from zwooper I felt like I had something to prove.

My Game In A Nutshell

Starting out, I didn’t want to play too flashy or have it seem as if I was controlling the votes. I wanted to prove I wasnt just some scrub since it was my first time playing an org, but I didn’t want to be an easy boot. No, I may not have been the forefront of pushing who was to go the first couple votes, but I was making subtle suggestions and knew everything that went on while others painted themselves as a target. I used this pre-merge time period to build strong relationships that would allow me progress in the game. Come merge is the time I stepped up and started fighting for what I wanted to happen. I put myself in a position where my vote was always needed, whether which side it from. Except for the Elsa vote, the player who I pushed to go and voted for was eliminated every single merge round. Week 1: When the trustlist twist was revealed I was super excited. I host a game that uses these to decide nominees every round and what not. Anyway, my goal for this was to end up high in the top ten, but not so high that I would be seen as a big social threat. I tried to make strong connections with the people I liked, but I didn’t want that to be held over my head. I got ranked 6, which I thought was perfectly ideal for my situation. Once the tribes were confirmed, Ahrre approached me with the idea of an alliance. I suggested one with the four, me, him, nick, and Bryce. I created the alliance chat, and from there it was an easy first vote to get rid of Joseph. Week 2: Woo! We won immunity Week 3/4: Tribe Swap! I was honestly very excited and happy with my new tribe. I felt like I had a great connection with Vilma, Bryce, Elsa, and ahrre. And the rest I had been somewhat friendly with. However immediately after immunity results came out I heard Jill was pushing for my name. Ahrre, Vilma, elsa, and I had an alliance which we decided to vote Jordan in the case Jill had an idol. Bryce, who I thought could potentially be playing both sides, was told to vote Jill just in case as precaution. I survived in a 4-3-1 vote. Week 5: After losing another immunity, voting Jill was a no brained for me. She had pushed my name earlier and overall we just didn’t really have much of a connection. Week 6: Woo another immunity win. Rip Emma Week 7: Unfortunately I was not picked to be on a tribe. HOWEVER, Alex and were able to pick 2 others to join our tribe. I could tell he was very strict with picking people who were in his tribe to protect himself. So, I didn’t want to make a scene. Therefore, I suggested nick and tj. Nick, who I definitely trusted was close with tj and were also very good at comps. I believed this gave me the best shot at surviving without putting a target on my back. We did end up being safe! Rip Jacob Week 8: WOO MERGE! I Was so excited. First merge turned out to be the only vote in the game that didn’t go my way. I tried to push for joey. Additionally, Ahrre came up with a plan to try and confuse the otherside and have the vote split between Elsa and I. Luckily I had some connections with nick and we had an agreement to tell each other what was going, and I pretty much figured it was Elsa going. Ugh a true queen was robbed this round by one vote <3 Week 9/10: After the last vote I was extremely nervous when I saw what the tribes split into. The only person I 100% trusted was vilma at the time. Tj and I had a complicated relationship while lexi and I were mutually against each other. I talked with tj A LOT that day trying to sway him to vote nolan or Lexi. It seemed like I made some progress, promising a f3 between the three zwoopers. Also, Vilma talked to nolan to see what he was considering. When Vilma told he was open to voting lexi I immediately jumped on the opportunity. About an hour before day change vilma and I were able to convince nolan to vote lexi. I survived by a vote of 3-2. Lexi was then eliminated in the duel to the death twist which I will say I was happy about Bc I believe she was a much bigger social threat. Week 11: After nolan flipped and saved me last round, Vilma and I created a chat with him so as to ensure he would potentially be open to flipping again against joey. Since he was the main factor in securing the 5th vote that was needed, he needed to feel safe. Joey did go home this round. Week 12: This was the point that I decided I couldn’t just sit in alliance and let it dictate. I saw what position nolan was in. He was in the middle and since his vote was needed, he was dictating who went home. SO, I basically went to tj and nick and said, “hey, we need to put the past in the past. Us three know each other, and I think we all know that us three are not the biggest threats in the game.” I felt like this was a move I had to make against the iconic “bois” alliance. I felt much more comfortable in a final against tj or nick rather than Ahrre or Bryce. Nick additionally was able to pull in Bryce. I unfortunately had to lie to vilma and ahrre :/ I felt sooooooo bad about this since I was so close to those two. I didn’t want an idol to be played on nolan. I do apologize as it was kind of a dirty move and I’d hate to have it influence anything in a friendship moving forward, Bc I do feel really bad about it reflecting back. This move did work and I felt like it put me in the most ideal position in the game. Week 13: Ahhh, Vilma another icon robbed. Voting you out was one of the hardest things for me to do this game. You were pissed at me for voting Nolan, and you had every right to be, I never blame you for that. But unfortunately, our relationship had been torn apart and as much as I kicking myself for suggesting your name, you were a major threat and it had to be done. You had played an amazing game and would have killed a final. Week 14: This was the day I was stuck on a mountain looking at bears LMAO. I’m not going to take credit for something I didnt do. Nick and tj came up with a plan to split the vote on Ahrre and Bryce the case of an immunity idol. Ahrre, who was proving to be a challenge beast needed to go otherwise he could win his way to the final. I voted Bryce in the end and Ahrre went home in a revote. Week 15: After tj Won the immunity decided by the jury, it opened my eyes to how big a threat he was. He never had received a vote against him up until this point and had played an incredibly solid game. Alex came to me with an idea the round before to get of tj. I was 100% willing to do this since I didn’t owe tj anything. I messaged Bryce and tried to see if he was willing to vote tj. I additionally made a chat with me, Alex, and Bryce securing the three votes tj. Since nick and I were close, I told him Alex and Bryce came up with a plan to get rid of him so an idol would be flushed. I had no intention of getting rid of nick or betraying him, but i just needed to make sure an idol wasn’t played on tj. Week 16: After nick won immunity, I was totally expecting to go to a tiebreaker with Alex. I believed he would have been an easier opponent to beat in that situation. Nick was also able to convince Bryce to vote Alex so he ended up going 3-1. I did try to get Alex to throw his vote off me just in the case if Bryce didn’t vote Alex. Week 17: OMG my first ever tumblr individual immunity win! I did decide to take nick to the finals as we had a deal to take each other. I can never be certain if he would have honored his end, but I always intended to honor mine. ADDITIONALLY, I believe I had a much better shot against because I feel like Bryce and I played similar games. We both flipped at certain moments, were very strategic in putting ourself in the best position. Nick on the other hand had been on the wrong side of the vote a few times he never really made a flip from one side to the other or a major big move, but played more loyal. I wanted their to be a contrast in game styles between me and the other finalist. Key Points Why I Should Win: I always put myself in a position where my votes was needed and I was able to push what I wanted to happen. I was proactive not reactive. Besides one vote, I always knew exactly what was happening and voted out who went home.

I won final immunity guaranteeing myself a shot in the final.

I felt like I was an underdog, and had something to prove coming into this game being it was my first org.

Final Thoughts:

I just want to say I’m honored to be in the final, and proud of what I accomplished no matter the result. Nick too has played an amazing game and I wish him the best of luck. I tried to write a plea that was honest, with no bullshit trying to take credit for anything I didn’t do. I wanted to own up to my game, and if that isn’t enough then I’ll at least know I did my best. It was a pleasure playing with each one of you, and hope you consider voting for me. Thanks!

[wosaegeansea]

Responses To Jury

inchresting

Seamus

Dan Hi Dan, my favorite color is red!

Daisy Hey Daisy, your vote off was more just about path of least resistance while also creating the best chance of someone winning a challenge against Drew. The path of least resistance part is because my goal final 5 after the Dani vote was Aqua/Jaze/Lexi/You/Myself because I felt I had the most control over what would have happened while having a strong shot at immunity. When Drew won immunity I truly believed taking you out would help ensure at some point Drew would lose immunity which he did the next round.

Your second part of your question was about me saying it "saved" you and several others. This is simply me not being able to explain things if I'm being honest. I should have said "forced drew to work with us, which would strengthen our alliance and help protect Steven and Lexi and Dani and Daisy." I cannot type or write to save my life, so again I'm sorry.

Now for compliments! (I'll do this in jury order) 1. Adrian: I truly admire your confidence in yourself and your ability to speak your mind regardless of where you are in the game. I usually try and refrain myself in tribe chats unless I am being spoken to or about and I think it's nice to see something different. 2. Dan: You seem very smart and dedicated to your studies. I have always struggled with school and every time someone has good attendance and always is studying is something I try to be more like. 3. Bodhi: You seem super energetic and like someone who is always willing to have a conversation/someone to go to IHOP with at 2:30 in the morning. 4. Karen: You are one of the few people in this community that has the respect of everyone and always seem to remain calm and try to treat others well (somethin you need to teach me to improve) 5. Steven: You are one of the nicest people I have met in this community and someone I'm proud to call a friend of mine. I really value our friendship here and irl. 6. Dani: You are one of the wildest people I've ever met and are beyond entertaining even if you keep calling me bobo the clown > : ( 7. Daisy: You are someone I truly didn't have much interaction with before this game and didn't know what to expect. I think you are extremely nice and funny, it seemed you always chiped in at the right moment in a conversation or had something smart to add/clarify 8. Drew: you are truly like the godfather of this community, no one dislikes you, you do amazing in games, and you somehow put up with all my shit. I'm sorry I can't spell or type or act like a normal human being but somehow you are smart enough (or maybe just have enough restraint) to deal with me and it does mean a lot to me. 9. Lexi: Lexi aka the Empress of India, coming into the game you were someone I was actually frightened to be on a tribe with after watching how well you did. You are a vary caring and genuine person, I felt whenever we would talk you were always straight up with me and that is very uncommon in games.

Dani Oh hello. I may be bobo the clown but I somehow still clowned ur ass honk honk! You should vote for me because I believe even though I didn't play a "honest/kind game" I still believe I played a strong game. I used alliances to further myself, which is the point of an alliance. Every non game related conversation I had was genuine. I played this game to win and I spoke to people to make friends. I don't see why they have to be mutually exclusive.

Adrian Hey Adrian! Well first I am going to apologize to you. I am sorry for voting you out and betraying you. I always try and separate personal relationships from games, which is something most don't accept/understand. I play games to have fun and sometime the odds aren’t in someone's favor and sometimes they aren’t in mine. I stook my neck out for you during the Lexi vote not because i thought it would necessarily help my game, but because you were my friend and hopefully still are. I voted Karen because i didn’t want to vote for either you or bodhi that round because i liked both of you. During the revote i voted you out because i needed to ensure trust in an alliance. If i played this game based on who I liked the most this would not be who I would be sitting next to at the end because I’m closer to others in this game. I hope for your vote, not because im your friend, but as a competitor and because of the game I played. Between the 2 others, i truly believe i played the best game.

Bodhi Okay so i didn't answer the other one’s as a rhyme because i just did them as they were sent so to make it up Imma write you a rhyme about Kansas!

Hey I live in Kansas, i hope this isn’t too corny Hopefully you like this, more than you love your porn(y) Hopefully voting for me, isn’t too thorny If you vote for me, I’ll make you some forni

Continents= 6

MEAN THINGS: 1. ADRIAN= GIRL YOU BLEW UP AFTER THE FIRST VOTE POP A XANAX PLEASE 2. DAN: For the love of god please change your profile picture, everytime someone says ur name this grinch baby troll thing pops up into my head!!!! 3. BODHI BITCH U SANK FASTER THEN THE TITANIC 4. KANEN JUST MARRY KENDALL ALREADY LIKE WE GET IT UR LEBANESE U SWING THAT WAY 5. STEVEN: EVERYTIME I THINK OF YOU I THINK STEVEN SNAIL AND IT MIGHT BE BC UR SLIMY 6. DANI: IF I HAD TO PICK 1 PERSON I THOUGHT WAS FROM WESTERN KANSAS BASED ON HOW THEY ACT GIRL IT WOULD BE U 7. DAISY: YOU NEED TO CHANGE UR NAME BC IM A WARLOCK AND CAN SENSE AURAS AND A DAISY SHOULD BE WHITE AND PURE NOT BLACK AND READY TO DO SHOTS AT 7:45 IN THE MORNING!!!! 8. DREW: SPEAK NORMAL PERSON ENGLISH! BIG WORDS= NO THANK YOU LIKE WE GET IT UR SMART U DONT NEED TO RUB UR BIG WORDS IN OUR FACES ALL THE DAMN TIME! 9. LEXI: QUEEN OF INACTIVITY, QUEEN OF KILLING CATFISH, BUT ALSO QUEEN OF SETTING THE RECORD FOR MOST TIMES VOTED OUT IN THIS GAME! OOOOOOOOOOH! Seamus

lexi Hi Lexi, so I will just start off with an apology again. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for flipping on you when you were loyal and betraying your trust. I hadn't planned on it until the moment I told you. All day I was thinking about what to do and I made my decision and I know it upset you and again I'm sorry.

Now for you question, I think the point of an alliance is for the betterment of each individual member of said alliance. But just because you have a majority alliance doesn't necessarily mean you are in the best spot in the game. I play these games to have fun, meet new people, and to try and win. And if I don't like my position in a game I will try and change my position by any means necessary. I won't sit here and spew how I played a noble and honorable game and that I never told a lie because that isn't the truth. I played this game hard from the moment it started and played it as best as I could. That's what should earn me your jury vote. I tried in every challenge, I spoke to everyone and tried to work with everyone, and I made moves that others didn't or wouldn't. I burned some bridges along the way yes, but hopefully a internet game won't be the final nail in a coffin of a genuine friendship.

Steven HI STEVEN AND THANK YOU! MY BIRTHDAY WAS AMAZING AND I MET SOME OF MY FAVORITE SINGERS AND IT WAS GREAT! https://media3.giphy.com/media/4xzOsxb7eJjsk/giphy.gif

Drew I'm going to explain by using kangaroo gifs. https://68.media.tumblr.com/33290ec73267c0563fea6ce612345b5d/tumblr_nunu8xYBxC1ues38qo1_500.gif this is you in this game. Everyone likes you and wants to pet you. https://68.media.tumblr.com/332560eb43a673806ba9f5a767d684ac/tumblr_oksptqkgJs1tfmrz4o1_400.gif that is our relationship. https://media.giphy.com/media/3o7qE5866bLg4VKabe/giphy.gif I kept trying to find a time to take you out before we finally aligned but I simply couldn't catch you https://68.media.tumblr.com/8098664402692064cf1535c093c60103/tumblr_onqfgkWwbI1v1iw1co1_400.gif https://68.media.tumblr.com/6665f4c8202b214671d3003937caa700/tumblr_odyvk8k9qL1v1frjoo1_250.gif and then we became allies. https://68.media.tumblr.com/88c452e8492eda108d743cae730f10e4/tumblr_no280p5GBY1rz1st5o1_500.gif We were the head hanchos but it was clear I was the Jackie because everyone dislikes me but like you https://media.tenor.com/images/7d8f2524a4c9e30e1b93bb9723e30b55/tenor.gif So I had to lie in wait for the opportunity to strike https://media.tenor.com/images/b8393cced8739e24459414e897579497/tenor.gif And finally found it at final 5.

Karen Hi Karen so this will a rather long answer but I truly hope you read it all. So I will just start off with the aspect of my nonexistent social game. I am not a "hello, how are you?" kind of person. In real life or on here. It's simply not who I am. If someone wants to tell me about their day I am all ears but I simply don't ask because I just assume if they want to talk about it then they will. And this isn't the case with everyone but that is me irl and here. If I am going to talk to you on here about nongame things then that is me trying my best to get to know someone. That's why I know about where people live and the schools they go to and the jobs they have and if they like their state and ect. I don't think, and never will claim, to have a strong social game, but I try my best.

I said this in my answer for another jury question; but I don't believe our jury responses have been released yet, My desired final 3 was Steven, Dani, and myself. Steven and Dani I get along with both socially and game wise and are people I felt comfortable going to the end with knowing they both were playing good games. When Dani got Steven voted out I realized I needed a new game plan and when I assessed the people left I saw several goats, and that's when I decided to try and bring 2 goats to the end. I don't believe I could have beaten drew or a few others at the end, so it was my best shot.

I agree with you that my gameplay wasn't amazing, it wasn't clean cut, and it wasn't very nice to my friends. I truly believe Drew played the best game this season and had he made it to the end he would deserve to win over everyone including myself. I think I played the best between the three, but I wont claim I played the best game this season no.

To you, and everyone else on the jury that I have hurt I am truly sorry. There isn't much more I can say other then I am deeply sorry for hurting you all, most of which I consider to be my friends. I didn't intend to upset/hurt y'all, and I hope for anyone that is upset that you will accept my apology.

Jaze

Daisy: Why would you ask a question when you know very well, no matter how I answer, you will not change your mind? Also, you were good at getting bad scores in tribal stage and not leaving.

Dani: Hey love. If I'm going to be honest, which I will since I keep it real, no. I can't. I was a fucking leech. Other people's power was my power. If one person dropped, I moved to another. I was a leech.

Adrian: Of course it faltered, especially when I caught ear of him wanting me out over Aqua. I figured that he would be gunning for my tiny alliance of three, and after the tribal council where Dani and I used the conjoined vote, I knew I should've suggested Seamus. Maybe then I would've had an actual move. I wanted to go back in time and tell Dani "Can we flip on Seamuck?". I proceeded to vote him at the Dani elimination. I had to trust him at final four, since he was my only chance of getting here. In short, yes, my loyalty to Seamus faltered for a small time near the end.

Bohdi: idk how to rhyme im bad at rapping and also there are either as many continents as you want due to the definition, large landmasses separated from each other by water, being very vague, so technically, if you think its large, it can be a continent to you

Lexi: I never spoke to you since I never thought you would be useful to my game. Plain and simple. In this game, I didn't find you valuable. I'm sure you are a lovely person irl though.

Dan: I am not one for initiating conversation, since I feel like a burden often. Also, EVERY time you initiated a conversation with me, AKA: twice, I responded and had a brief conversation with you. So don't go around libeling my name, when I made effort. Zero effort would be me not responding to you at all.

Steven: Vanilla. I also really like Wedding Cake and Orange Sorbet.

Drew: ,

Karen: Hey! Nice to see you too! Aren't you a bundle of joy? Sorry you feel that way, but I'm not sorry because I can't sympathize with irrelevant people! Have fun, sweaty!

Aqua

Bodhi

Per request I will answer all of my questions in rhymes This will be worse than the most violent of crimes

I got asked how many continents there are by a man in heaven So I responded with “There are seven”

Lexi

Dani is someone I was close with in this game Her elimination was a shame We were friends since the first day Now she is in the jury to my dismay I am friends with a man named Drew We made up from last season and our friendship grew He won a lot of challenges in the merge Therefore he fell victim to the purge

I cared about this game a lot Even though most of the times I remained quiet in thought I hope my rhymes can show that I cared Because I would hate for my effort to go unshared

Dan

I’m sorry that I never spoke to you I didn’t want it to look like I avoided you like the flu You weren’t someone who looked like I could trust At the end of the day, our relationship in game was unfortunately a bust If you don’t want to vote me that's fine I already know the win isn’t mine

Daisy

I wanted to keep him for a vote on my side When we spoke to each other we never lied I was very scared when people wanted me gone So I needed a potential vote I could call on Many members on the jury say that he is a liar So now those votes I may acquire

Adrian I’m glad that I got to meet you in this game, you are 100% the opposite of lame Bodhi I think that you’re really funny guy, your Karen vote made me cry. Daisy You were someone who I had a great time talking to, you never made me feel blue Dan I never really got to meet you, but it would be cool to chill out with you at a barbecue Dani You’re a really amazing friend, you will always be someone on which I can Depend Drew You were by far the best player on this season, not voting you to win would have been like treason Karen One thing I like about you is that you’re always real. Your cat cookie is sweet like Cinnamon Oatmeal Lexi You rejoined the game after leaving early, however you definitely proved yourself of being worthy. Steven I never got to know you very well, but from when we did talk you seemed swell.

Steven

One thing that I did that had a lasting impact Was when I voted out Karen to counteract All of the supposed votes that were against me However those votes never came to be

Adrian

For this question I cannot Rhyme I’m sorry Bodhi, don’t treat it like a crime

Now, From the time that you left, there were a few things that I did. I never really had a role in anything until the Karen vote. The Karen vote was good for my game for two reasons. 1, It took out an ally of someone who was bringing my name up, and 2, it decreased the target on my back and put it on Seamus as most people saw him as the person controlling it. When my votes didn’t appear, it looked like he was a liar, etc. Bur anyways, First Dani told me I was getting votes from Drew. Immediately I knew that Karen, Steven, Daisy, and Lexi would all have majority if Drew got them on board. So Seamus and Dani both said that we could use our Double votes to counteract it.

[7/10/2017 6:58:13 PM] Aqua Orcal: Do you want to vote off Karen? [7/10/2017 7:10:28 PM] jaze (PBB3[J]/Aegean Sea[M]): Yes

[7/10/2017 6:52:12 PM] Host Charlotte: Drew wants to vote you off [7/10/2017 6:52:44 PM] Aqua Orcal: So that's why I haven't heard jack [7/10/2017 6:53:53 PM] Host Charlotte: It's okay [7/10/2017 6:53:58 PM] Host Charlotte: We're gonna use our double votes [7/10/2017 6:54:18 PM] Aqua Orcal: Yeah [7/10/2017 6:54:28 PM] Aqua Orcal: Seamus and I are using ours [7/10/2017 6:54:37 PM] Host Charlotte: Who are you guys voting off [7/10/2017 6:54:58 PM] Aqua Orcal: Seamus said Karen [7/10/2017 6:55:03 PM] Host Charlotte: Perfect [7/10/2017 6:55:05 PM] Aqua Orcal: At this point it's better than me [7/10/2017 6:55:37 PM] Host Charlotte: Talk to jaze [7/10/2017 7:05:05 PM] Host Charlotte: You might need to use your advantage to stay [7/10/2017 7:05:22 PM] Host Charlotte: Just make sure to talk to Jaze [7/10/2017 7:05:30 PM] Aqua Orcal: How so [7/10/2017 7:05:39 PM] Aqua Orcal: I can only use it against rewards [7/10/2017 7:05:47 PM] Host Charlotte: Cuz if they use their double vote [7/10/2017 7:06:13 PM] Aqua Orcal: Who still has it? [7/10/2017 7:06:19 PM] Host Charlotte: I'm not sure [7/10/2017 7:09:23 PM] Aqua Orcal: You need to talk to jaze in your pair chat and make sure that you both vote Karen [7/10/2017 7:10:01 PM] Aqua Orcal: Drew and Lexi still have their vote [7/10/2017 7:14:58 PM] Aqua Orcal: Jaze told me he would [7/10/2017 7:21:03 PM] Host Charlotte: Drew is voting for u [7/10/2017 7:21:58 PM] Aqua Orcal: So I'm assuming that he has Daisy Karen and Lexi [7/10/2017 7:22:22 PM] Aqua Orcal: And Possibly Steven [7/10/2017 7:22:58 PM] Host Charlotte: No it's official [7/10/2017 7:23:01 PM] Host Charlotte: We have the votes [7/10/2017 7:23:23 PM] Aqua Orcal: Who else is voting with us? [7/10/2017 7:24:02 PM] Host Charlotte: It's gonna be 6-5 [7/10/2017 7:24:04 PM] Host Charlotte: We're good [7/10/2017 7:25:36 PM] Aqua Orcal: So everyone else is voting against me? [7/10/2017 7:26:30 PM] Host Charlotte: Probably

[7/10/2017 12:51:07 AM] Aqua Orcal: Hey [7/10/2017 12:51:21 AM] Seamus: HEY! [7/10/2017 12:51:29 AM] Aqua Orcal: What do you want to do with the votes this round? [7/10/2017 12:54:24 AM] Seamus: I am not sure yet, why did u have an idea in mind? [7/10/2017 12:55:02 AM] Aqua Orcal: I was asking you because I don't know what to do either [7/10/2017 12:57:10 AM] Seamus: let me ask around and see the general vibeeee [7/10/2017 4:01:26 PM] Seamus: I'm kinda nervous bc no one is talking to me [7/10/2017 4:01:32 PM] Seamus: if u hear my name please let me know [7/10/2017 5:23:03 PM] Aqua Orcal: No one is talking to me either [7/10/2017 5:42:48 PM] Seamus: do u care who goes home this vote? [7/10/2017 6:53:22 PM] Aqua Orcal: Well Drew wants to vote me out [7/10/2017 6:53:39 PM] Seamus: correct, would u be down to blindside Karen? [7/10/2017 6:53:55 PM] Seamus: u me dani jaze, plus 2 double votes [7/10/2017 6:54:04 PM] Aqua Orcal: Yeah I'm cool with that [7/10/2017 6:54:50 PM] Seamus: what score did u submit for the challenge [7/10/2017 6:55:22 PM] Aqua Orcal: 17,000 ish [7/10/2017 6:55:35 PM] Aqua Orcal: Ik Karen is being randomized because she didn't do it [7/10/2017 6:55:52 PM] Seamus: oh Karen didn't do it? neither did daisy phew [7/10/2017 6:56:14 PM] Aqua Orcal: Oh good [7/10/2017 6:59:53 PM] Seamus: (chuckle) this is what drew gets for gunning for us [7/10/2017 7:00:01 PM] Seamus: too bad its not him tonight hehe [7/10/2017 7:00:33 PM] Aqua Orcal: Yup c: [7/10/2017 7:00:49 PM] Seamus: but if one of us beats him next time then :D [7/10/2017 7:06:23 PM] Aqua Orcal: Yup [7/10/2017 7:06:49 PM] Aqua Orcal: Are you/me/dani/jaze the only people using double votes? [7/10/2017 7:06:58 PM] Aqua Orcal: Or who can [7/10/2017 7:07:33 PM] Seamus: lexi and drew have one but they wont know this is coming hehe [7/10/2017 7:07:55 PM] Aqua Orcal: If they use theirs against me I'l flip [7/10/2017 7:08:02 PM] Seamus: isdnfnsdif [7/10/2017 7:08:16 PM] Seamus: the only person we need to worry about ratting our plan out is jaze [7/10/2017 7:08:25 PM] Seamus: like if we get him to vote Karen we r good [7/10/2017 10:26:11 PM] Seamus: We did it!!! [7/10/2017 10:26:27 PM] Aqua Orcal: Yesss! [7/10/2017 10:26:41 PM] Aqua Orcal: Tbh it was kinda underwhelming because they are messy af [7/10/2017 10:27:03 PM] Aqua Orcal: But at least we have enough communication skills to execute a plan [7/10/2017 10:29:06 PM] Seamus: ^^^^

I also secured myself and Jaze a spot in the final two by securing seamus’ vote for Lexi [7/25/2017 12:03:40 AM] jaze (PBB3[J]/Aegean Sea[M]): we need to vote lexi... [7/25/2017 12:17:53 AM] Aqua Orcal: Yeah I'm down with that [7/25/2017 12:18:01 AM] Aqua Orcal: I'm trying to get seamus to do the same [7/25/2017 12:18:10 AM] jaze (PBB3[J]/Aegean Sea[M]): alrighty

[7/24/2017 11:03:50 PM] Aqua Orcal: You won [7/24/2017 11:03:55 PM] Aqua Orcal: Congrats [7/24/2017 11:04:27 PM] Seamus: :d <3 thanks! [7/24/2017 11:05:41 PM] Aqua Orcal: You got first in everything and I got second in everything lol [7/24/2017 11:21:44 PM] Seamus: icons only do well in challenges :D [7/24/2017 11:22:30 PM] Aqua Orcal: Yup! [7/24/2017 11:49:28 PM] Seamus: so what do u think for le vote [7/24/2017 11:54:42 PM] Aqua Orcal: I'd say Lexi [7/24/2017 11:54:54 PM] Aqua Orcal: I think she has more connections than Jaze [7/25/2017 12:22:51 AM] Aqua Orcal: I talked to Jaze and he is voting for Lexi [7/25/2017 10:04:04 PM] Seamus: I voted Lexi [7/25/2017 10:04:17 PM] Aqua Orcal: Alright [7/25/2017 10:04:24 PM] Aqua Orcal: Lexi should have 3 votes then

Karen

I know that Drew was the one who brought my name up You were only a victim of my blowup Since you were someone who was close with drew Drew could not be voted out so I had to settle with you

Seamus was a close ally of mine But our relationship wasn’t my only lifeline Dani and Jaze were two people who I was close to We voted together so our games would not go askew I made friends from back when we were on Tribes So going into merge I hoped to had positive vibes With those I could at least scope out a majority That way I would not leave, which would have been a pity (For me at least)

Drew and Dani did not ask me questions The only word that rhymes with that is suggestions

Now the jury, please send in your votes!

[survivorelsalvador]

EPISODE 2 - The Resident Messiest Players (TM) In The World - Dana

(If a confessional is just a gif or a picture then it was most likely Veronica, winner of Jeju Island, uwu <3)

LILY

Pissed doesn't begin to describe how I feel about this fucking tribe. Literally two people are complete dead weight. Lexi and Kyle don't do fucking shit. Might I note I'm normally a very nice person ask my fellow comrades on Bahamas but this tribe sucks. Literal worst tribe I have been on and probably will ever be on. If this wasn't robs game I would probs quit. The only blessing is jake on my tribe but he also voted to get rid of Adrian so what the fuck. We will lose every challenge now and in fine with going home next so I can get away from the stupid people on this tribe. Lexi hasn't even messaged me back! Very rude. I have no respect. And I know I suck because I fell asleep last night but damn. Why couldn't they have at least voted for me last night to put me out of my misery???? Damn. Kyle and Lexi were excused from this challenge well fuck, you can be excused from my life! I'm so sorry Adrian I have failed you twice. I didn't see you going at all this week. I'm going to make sure everyone on this tribe loses this game because of this vote. I can't believe how stupid this tribe is seriously. I guess if Kyle and lexis plan is to lose every challenge then they are doing great. But yeah no I doubt it. Let's see if I blow up the tribe in the one world chat...

WILL

So everything's pretty chill right now, but I am worried that I've literally been carrying my tribe through these challenges so far like I got the highest score both times and this time in particular we may not have won if I hadn't done as well. We also got lucky that like half the other tribe didn't try or even do the challenge though but like.... yikes ugh I don't want people to rely on me too much or even think I'm some sort of challenge threat

ZAKRIAH

King of being a threepeater and not making an episode one confessional Well either way I'm back to get 8th for the third sequence season in a row

KAI

This round seems really quiet... I'm not sure if that's because everyone busy or something xD but I feel really left out of this tribe if they're not busy

WILLOW

Imdividual rewards kinda stress me out lmao

ZAKRIAH

I ain't winning this game

WILL

Like I'd say I'm sorry but Regan's really good at giving me new reasons to not trust her and be upset with her, like at least TRY to be a good sport and dont just leave one world every time something doesn't go your way? Like? Is that how the game works? No? That's unfortunate

--------

Anyways if I get voted out of sequence again because of Regan I'm literally gonna fight someone

JAKE

I have been doing terrible so far in this game. I've only played one of three challenges, and I went to tribal. I really want to step my game up, so that is what I plan to do.

LILY

One, sorry about that last confessional. I was so frustrated with how this game was going but damn did it turn around. I did really well in dolphin olympics and got to pick out of pretty much everyone. I was so sad I didn't get to play with chips in Bahamas so I needed this chance to be on the same tribe. Looking forward to meeting the rest of my tribe and hopefully be a lot better than last time Apopa. #PlayingForApopa

DANA

Writing a quick confesh now that we've swapped tribes and my tribe is complete. Listen, things were lookin STELLAR. Nicholas is one of the reward winners, and chooses me! My queen! I was so pleased! Nicholas is totally a fav and i'm thrilled to be on a tribe with him. At this point I know I have a pretty good pick and I'm immediately thinking about who I can get that will prioritize being loyal to me. I think of Zak and Willow first. I played with both of them in Solomon and showed them I was loyal by voting with them when we were all on a tribe together. The only problem? Willow and Zak are absolutely closer with each other than they are with me. At this point in the game, i'm thinking that's pretty irrelevant though, because right now I just need numbers. I know if I pick one, they will pick the other and that automatically gives me the ability to at least join up with them and force a tie on my new tribe.  Assuming Nicholas wants to work with us in a vote, which he has since confirmed he does, we get a 4-2 majority. Sounds amazing. I end up picking Willow first, because she certainly has less experience in the game then Zak and in the event we hadn't gotten Zak, I think Willow is a safer bet. For example, on day 2 of the game Willow asked me how she should be playing one world... like if she should pm people or not... and that ask for guidance is something that is easy to work with. anyways, we get Zak too. And at this point I'm thinking. Have I ever been in a better position in a game? Like I have Nicholas on one side, and Zak and Willow on the other. I bring everyone together, and I am at the pinnacle of this alliance. Genius. Then Zak trashes my dreams of perfection and picks Regan. Idk if they are friends or what, but I've heard A LOT about Regan in this community. She 100% gets the benefit of the doubt right now from me, but I know Nicholas was NOT happy to see her. Then true tragedy strikes. Like I must have done something REALLY BAD in one of these games in my past life, because I am surely being tricked. Regan's pick has me contemplating my own mortality in this game and asking the survivor gods why I'm being punished. The unbelievable happens, and his name is Jaiden. So Nicholas and I JUST voted Jaiden out in Athena Bahamas, where he and I had a cracked relationship and he kind of snapped a few times toward the end. I know... HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?! I can't work with this snake. He's a nice guy, but I just wrote an 8pg confessional in Bahamas, most of which closely detailed every lie Jaiden ever told me. Moreover, he tried to fancy idol me out of Bahamas, and luckily another fancy idol brought me back in. There is just too much recent history with Jaiden for me to forget and trust him in this game. I mean I really feel like i'm having war flashbacks except they're not flashbacks at all and Jaiden is here squirming his way back into my life. Nicholas and I start going OFF in pms about how shook we are about this pick and how it literally makes our games so much harder than they need to be. Because even though Jaiden is King Mess, he is also great at getting idols and advantages. More to come later, but until then, I'll leave you with this: [6/12/17, 8:13:20 PM] nicholas: literally pour the bleach regan picked jaiden [6/12/17, 8:14:53 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): I AM LITERALLY SCREAMING

RICHIE

whew i threw that reward challenge bc i did too well in the first immunity only because apparently im a spanish speaking icon??? but im so happy i didnt win the reward because it meant that i didnt have to be the first to pick a new tribe mate and draw attention to myself and i got picked by chips who is literally one of my favorite humans i've met in this world and i'm so excited to play together!!! and i picked ashton because i wanted to pick someone from my original tribe and after nicolas who was already chosen ashton was the person i talked to more during our short stay on the usul tribe.... now i have to talk to lily austin and jake but at least i feel content knowing that if we lose i dont think i would be first boot on this tribe???????  

WILL

I'm literally sCREAMING three different people all sent me the same receipts of Regan ~~~exposing~~~ me for being a "liar" GHJKLK like this is SO funny to me that everyone's running to me with these (like obviously Nicholas and Dana are my friends but Jaiden?? wants drama! i love it!) this game is literally on day 3 and it has more drama than i was ready for oh my goddddddd

DANA

I'm dropping this conversation from tribe chat into confessionals because I was CACKLING when this happened. I'm just trying to keep things ~funky fresh~ in El Salvador despite being stuck with the resident Messiest players™ in the world @Jaiden @Regan. Tonight, I'm feelin like a true comedy queen though. Check this strategically placed comedic relief. [6/13/17, 10:57:27 PM] Regan: look [6/13/17, 10:57:31 PM] Regan: I just get messy in games [6/13/17, 10:57:49 PM] jaiden: well [6/13/17, 10:57:50 PM] jaiden: same [6/13/17, 10:58:03 PM] jaiden: Dana knows. [6/13/17, 10:58:05 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): greetings jaiden [6/13/17, 10:58:22 PM] jaiden: I hope you send the right person to jury in Bahamas <3 [6/13/17, 10:59:07 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): another friend will join u soon [6/13/17, 10:59:10 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): maybe me [6/13/17, 10:59:16 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): who can say [6/13/17, 10:59:26 PM] jaiden: we'll see [6/13/17, 10:59:54 PM] Rob (Salvador, Aegean, & Bouvet Host): It me [6/13/17, 11:00:03 PM] nicholas: hi [6/13/17, 11:00:32 PM] jaiden: Nicholas and Dana on this tribe? may as well accept my elimination [6/13/17, 11:01:00 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): hey listen we’re winnin this challenge and not thinking about tribals [6/13/17, 11:01:25 PM] jaiden: :| [6/13/17, 11:01:32 PM] jaiden: I just don't know if I can believe that [6/13/17, 11:02:21 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): pls i dont want anyone to go, we’re friends again, remember? [6/13/17, 11:02:48 PM] nicholas: same [6/13/17, 11:02:54 PM] nicholas: I’m here for a good tome [6/13/17, 11:02:56 PM] nicholas: time [6/13/17, 11:02:56 PM] jaiden: hmm. [6/13/17, 11:02:59 PM] nicholas: not a long time [6/13/17, 11:03:30 PM] jaiden: until you flip on a revote and tell everyone in our alliance to do the same and then continue to say "well I will do anything for ur game bc I don't want to win (sun) [6/13/17, 11:03:55 PM] Regan: Jaiden omg [6/13/17, 11:03:57 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): idk her because i never did that :) [6/13/17, 11:04:01 PM] Regan: throwback to bbhell [6/13/17, 11:04:02 PM] Regan: because [6/13/17, 11:04:05 PM] Regan: Shelby said [6/13/17, 11:04:07 PM] Regan: the entire game [6/13/17, 11:04:10 PM] Regan: hey I don't want to win [6/13/17, 11:04:12 PM] Regan: you have to win [6/13/17, 11:04:15 PM] jaiden: but Nicholas sure did [6/13/17, 11:04:16 PM] Regan: and still didn't vote for me [6/13/17, 11:04:31 PM] jaiden: omg!!! Nicholas told me the same thing and still threw my game under the bus for his benefit!! [6/13/17, 11:05:01 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): new game, who dis [6/13/17, 11:05:13 PM] jaiden: hurt feelings carry over hehe [6/13/17, 11:05:15 PM] jaiden: <3 [6/13/17, 11:05:30 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): hmm interesting [6/13/17, 11:05:49 PM] nicholas: . [6/13/17, 11:05:56 PM] nicholas: jaiden are u literally inbred [6/13/17, 11:06:00 PM] nicholas: all offense [6/13/17, 11:06:08 PM] nicholas: I’ve been nothing but nice to you [6/13/17, 11:06:10 PM] jaiden: you're in bread binch [6/13/17, 11:06:25 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): I am bread binch [6/13/17, 11:06:52 PM] nicholas: grrrrr [6/13/17, 11:07:24 PM] jaiden: go growl at someone else furry freak [6/13/17, 11:07:36 PM] nicholas: . [6/13/17, 11:08:31 PM] Willow: I have no idea whats happening ahh [6/13/17, 11:09:01 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): we’re talking about themes for flags! [6/13/17, 11:09:05 PM] nicholas: yes [6/13/17, 11:09:12 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): and Nicholas and Jaiden are in a lil tiff over it [6/13/17, 11:09:22 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): because they both have a lot of passion for design [6/13/17, 11:09:27 PM] jaiden: actually I'm plotting my revenge, baby [6/13/17, 11:09:31 PM] jaiden: it's all about revenge [6/13/17, 11:12:11 PM] nicholas: anyways hmu when u learn to separate games! [6/13/17, 11:12:25 PM] Regan: OMG [6/13/17, 11:12:27 PM] Regan: guys want tea [6/13/17, 11:12:29 PM] jaiden: hmu when you know how to be a loyal ally in any of them!!!!!!!!! [6/13/17, 11:12:30 PM] Regan: do u want tea about will [6/13/17, 11:12:43 PM] Regan: okay so he was supposed to pick me [6/13/17, 11:12:48 PM] Regan: because we talked a lot [6/13/17, 11:12:57 PM] Regan: but unless I said id pick willa josh said he couldn't pick me [6/13/17, 11:13:02 PM] Regan: and also will said [6/13/17, 11:13:06 PM] Regan: because of jeju [6/13/17, 11:13:10 PM] Regan: hes never trusting me in a game [6/13/17, 11:13:15 PM] Regan: shows he cant separate games either [6/13/17, 11:13:24 PM] jaiden: is this a call out Regan [6/13/17, 11:13:26 PM] nicholas: him & jaiden would be good together huh [6/13/17, 11:13:26 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): trust is all fucking relative [6/13/17, 11:13:35 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): pls i dont even trust myself [6/13/17, 11:13:48 PM] nicholas: me This tribe is WILD. Have we talked about a flag? No. Will we lose? Almost definitely. I'm inclined not to even give a fuck if we lose, but then again, maybe someone handed Jaiden another Sapphire idol and my ass is out of here.

KAI

I mean... we didn't win HOWEVER WE DIDNT LOSE EITHER... so...

WILLA

Damn I thought our flag was cute but shit that other flag was incredible this should be a double tribal tbh send me home i got that flag in my brain that is enough for me cya

WILL

....anyways y'all need to stop trying to drag me into drama this isn't the game for that this is not the time nor the place

-----------

wow regan's really about to let some random get to her just by saying random clearly false things huh? that's... a look.... i love one world yes i do

JAIDEN

I'll send a longer confessional later but I'm gonna make sure Nicholas goes.

KYLE

regan is racist

AUSTIN

My only friends are basically ribbons who's acting psycho, Lexi who quit, regan who ppl hate, and Jake/Lilly. Also somebody wanted to pick regan during the swap but then didn't bc regan wanes to pick me so lols! I think I said this last time but I'm probably getting voted out for like 15th ish

NICHOLAS

ASHTON

Well I've still only talked to Richie so you know really doing good in that aspect. I'm happy he's on my tribe then cuz I don't think he will vote me out. Overall i'm worried im if my tribe loses But not too worried cuz i think i can get the target onto somebody else.

NICHOLAS

hi so there are 2 psychos on my tribe and i hope one of them leaves or i leave either way its going to be a huge win! yeehaw!

JOSH

HI I'M SUBMITTING SO I DON'T GET A STRIKE. So, I won the challenge that split us up into tribes so that was a wee bit iconic, if you ask me??  I chose to go with Will because he's who I have bonded with most and I really trust him so far.  I think that him, Willa, Kai, & I are kind of an unspoken thing?  Which I'm okay with them because I really enjoy them.  I think that my tribe should continue to win immunity because we sl@y and it's kind of my arc in Survivor Sequence to not go to TC without immunity in the pre-merge phase.  I CAN'T RUIN THAT STREAK??  I'VE COME TOO FAR FOR THAT TO HAPPEN.  I think there should only be a few more people that have to go home before we merge.  AND I HOPE that one of them is Regan.  I love her but she is on some rant about how she wants me out once we hit merge and like??  She's blaming the fact that SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHO I WAS on why I didn't pick her.  LIKE IT IS MY FAULT THAT SHE HAD NO IDEA THAT I WAS THIS JOSH.  so now it's all my fault.  i'm so mad. anyways.  hopefully this next immunity is FUN.

MICHEAL

At first I had a solid allince then the tribe swap happened and everyone dosent really want to work together

RICHIE

lily made a really creative flag! we won! im happy to be safe! nothing else has happened !!!

WILLOW

I feel bad for loosing the challenge and majority wants Jaiden out but he's active and deserves to be here, and so I'm gonna vote him out anyway but

REGAN

So I will definitely do more around midnight. but  I love my new tribe this tribal is so hard but  i understand if go, but I think Jaiden is. WHo knows, I could be being lied to. I want nicholas to go because he likes to ignore me but he clearly wont because everyone loves him idgi. Like who are you?? ive been here for 2 years Im more of an icon than you

ZAKRIAH

I'm probably being voted out and if I am I'll be really sad bc I didn't get 8th or 16th :(