#Let's just hide his identity using an em-dash

[umiidlip]

It’s pretty amazing of what the Enhanced Community Quarantine does to me. I came back to this god-forsaken website, and I will not hesitate to share my works anymore. That is if I’m not lazy enough.

So, I’ve been looking back at my previous blogs and laughing of how much of a fool I was. I was so defiant that I will never like someone throughout my high school, but now... I came back to writing just because of a boy. Disgusting, yes, I am aware. 

But, hey, at least I got my inspiration back. My first ever crush did not have much of an impact to my writing. 

[stealingpotatoes]

Bedtime Story

AO3 link

summary: Emily decides that it’s her turn to tell Corvo & Jessamine a bedtime story. The characters in said story seem... a little familiar.

(notes: Hi! Gonna start posting my fics on Tumblr bc I uh- can. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this! Edit: whoops forgot to add formatting to it)

--

“Can you tell me a story? Pleeeaase?” Emily begged her mother and Corvo, gripping her blue bedsheets that she was tucked into. The seven-year-old was wearing her frilly white nightgown and an incredibly cute expression that neither of them could say no to. 

“One story” Jessamine smiled, sitting on Emily’s bedside. 

Emily grinned and turned to Corvo, who was standing about a step away from her bed, “Could you tell me the story of how you won the Blade Verbena?”

Corvo folded his arms and tilted his head, “Again? I told you that last night.”

Emily nodded enthusiastically.

“Why don’t you pick something different, my little cygnet?” Jessamine suggested.

Emily pouted, then scrunched up her face, deep in thought for a few moments. She perked up, “I’ll tell  you  a bedtime story.”

“Uh-” Jessamine started- “Why don’t I--”

“No. I’m telling you a bedtime story,” Emily sat up in bed. “You have to sit down,” Emily glanced between Jessamine and the floor. 

“It can’t last too long though, you do need to go to sleep soon,” Jessamine warned. 

“Yes, yes,” Emily nodded, “Now sit down!” she pointed to the floor. 

Corvo smiled and huffed at Emily’s order to Jessamine. The two of them shared a glance, silently saying  “well I suppose we have to”,  before moving to sit down on the floor next to each other. 

Emily lifted her bedsheets up and sat cross-legged, facing her ‘audience’. She paused for a moment, then exaggeratedly cleared her throat, “Once upon a time there was a knight, a queen, and a princess. They all lived in the kingdom of… uhh- Bunwall.”

“Bunwall?” Jessamine asked.

“Bunwall,” Emily replied, nodding with the utmost seriousness.

Corvo and Jessamine shared another amused look.  

“Now let me tell the story!” Emily exclaimed.

The Knight, Queen and Princess lived in their tall castle in Bunwall. It was a grand stone castle, with many grand parapets.

The Queen was holding a banquet for something that merited a banquet in its honour. The Grand Banquet Hall was filled with music and dancing and everything was jolly.  Everything except the Princess, that is. She was not having a good time, because banquets and balls were, in her opinion, absolutely terrible and incredibly boring. She would much rather have been doing literally anything else. But no, she was sitting here, bored out of her mind. 

Suddenly, a mighty roar shook the castle!  The merry music stopped. Everyone halted and tensed up at the noise, and a sickening silence fell upon the room. 

An enormous green dragon smashed through the windows, scattering glass everywhere and leaving a huge dragon-shaped hole in the wall!

“Oh my, a dragon?” Jessamine put her hand over her chest. 

“Yes! A DRAGON!” Emily threw her arms in the air. 

Everyone screamed and ran to flee or hide as the Dragon breathed its fiery breath into the air. the Dragon was monstrous. It stood almost as tall as the high ceiling, with massive, sharp, scaly wings spread out wide. Its fierce eyes looked as if a fire burned behind them. 

“Roar! I’m here to destroy Bunwall!” the Dragon boomed.

The Knight unsheathed his sword and spun it in his hand, “Not if I have anything to say about it!”

The Knight certainly did have something to say about it; he dashed forward with his sword and struck the Dragon on its chest, avoiding the beast’s attacks. But the Dragon didn’t seem all that fazed by the hit, and the sword did little against the Dragon’s thick scales. The Knight fought on nonetheless.

The Dragon, as unfazed as it was, fought back as strong as ever. The Knight dodged many of the Dragon’s attacks. Alas, the Knight was fast, but he wasn’t fast enough, and the Dragon was too powerful! the Dragon swung its mighty tail and smacked the Knight into the wall. 

Everyone gasped at the sight of the noble Knight defeated.

“Princess! You must save us!” the Queen cried. 

The Princess pulled out her sword and—

“Woah- where’d the Princess get a sword?” Corvo interrupted. 

“She had it the whole time! Um… The Knight gave it to her for her birthday...” Emily said, “Now stop interrupting!”

Corvo put his hands up in a mock-surrender.

The Princess pulled out her sword that she had the whole time and also got from the Knight for her birthday and ran at the Dragon, yelling a war cry. She struck and she dodged with grace and precision that the Kingdom had never seen before. the Dragon tried to hit her with its blazing firebreath and sharp tail, but she artfully flipped out of the way of its attacks. 

The Princess’ hits, like the Knights’, didn’t seem as if they were doing much to injure the Dragon. But they did seem to be tiring it out.

“Princess! It’s working!” the Queen shouted to her daughter.

The Princess continued to fight the Dragon with unbelievable skill and prowess. None of the Dragon’s attacks were even getting close to hitting her! 

“Roar! How are you so… awesome?” the Dragon asked, breathless and amazed. 

“I just am,” the Princess replied, her short hair flowing in the wind. 

the Dragon regarded the Princess in awe for a few moments before speaking, “I… I didn’t really want to destroy Bunwall… I actually really wanted a hug. But no-one would give me one.”

The Princess considered his words for a moment. “I will give you a hug,” she said, sounding as regal as her mother, the Queen, “But first you have to say sorry to the Knight.”

the Dragon turned to the Knight, who was slowly getting up from the floor, “Sorry, the Knight.”

the Dragon looked back to the Princess, and she gave him a satisfactory nod. He lowered his large and scaly dragon head towards the Princess and she gave him a big hug.

“Aww,” Jessamine smiled softly.

“I said stop interrupting!” Emily exclaimed, “I’m not done yet!”

“Yeah, stop interrupting,” Corvo smirked, looking at Jessamine.

Emily shot a grumpy look at the both of them before continuing. 

The room erupted in applause at the Princess’ heroics. Everyone, including the Knight and Queen, was amazed at her skill and how she saved Bunwall. 

After the banquet-ball, the Queen formally knighted her daughter, and the Princess got an incredibly nice suit of armour and another sword. She and the Dragon, an amazing team of best friends, went on to protect Bunwall better than anyone had before. 

And the Knight and the Queen kissed and got married!

“-the end,” Emily said. She looked between Corvo and Jessamine expectantly.

Jessamine was confused for a moment before she realised what Emily was expecting. “ Emily, ” she chided.

“And the Knight and the Queen kissed! Come on!” 

Corvo and Jessamine gave Emily almost identical  ‘really?’  looks.

“I won’t go to bed unless you kiss!” Emily said firmly.

“Emily,”   Corvo and Jessamine said in unison, flatly. 

Emily pouted and dramatically dropped her shoulders.

“That’s enough storytelling for tonight,” Jessamine smiled, standing up, “It’s bedtime.”

Corvo pushed himself to his feet too, “It was a very good story.”

Emily grinned, “If you put me to bed tomorrow, I’ll tell you PART TWO!” 

“We’ll try our best to,” Jessamine said genuinely.

Corvo smiled in agreement. 

“Part two’s even better than part one!” Emily said excitedly with a dramatic hand motion.

“Oh?” Corvo tilted his head slightly.

“But I can’t tell you what happens because it’s a secret,” Emily whispered.

Corvo nodded understandingly.

“Actually- I can tell you the story now!” Emily beamed. 

“No, you can’t, because it’s time to go to sleep,” Jessamine folded her arms and smiled. 

“Yeah- bedtime,” Corvo agreed.

Emily sighed. She reached her arms out, and Corvo moved forward and leant down to give her a hug, as he always did. “Goodnight Em,” Corvo said.

“Goodnight Corvo,” Emily yawned as Corvo pulled away from the hug. She flopped onto her side and awkwardly moved her crossed legs so they were flat out too. Then she lifted her legs up so she could tuck herself in under her sheets.

Jessamine pulled Emily’s blankets up a little and leant down to kiss her cheek, “Sleep well,”

“Mm. Goodnight,” Emily wiped the kiss off her cheek, like she did every time someone kissed her, and settled into her blankets. 

-

“She’s going to figure it out soon,” Jessamine said, as Corvo shut the door to the Empress’ apartments behind them. 

“Going to? I think she already has,” Corvo huffed.

Jessamine stopped for a moment, not quite looking at anything, “It  is cute,” 

Corvo stayed silent, prompting Jessamine to explain what she meant. 

“That Emily thinks she can make us kiss with a story” Jessamine smiled, “And how badly she wants us to get together,” she looked at Corvo. 

“Mm,” Corvo hummed in agreement, “She’s about… eleven years too late though.”

Jessamine laughed a little. The two of them settled into a comfortable silence for a few moments. 

Jessamine made to walk off, but Corvo caught her hand and pulled her towards him almost as if they were dancing. He wrapped his arms around Jessamine’s waist, pulling her closer to him, “Y’know, the Knight never did get that kiss from the Queen���”

Jessamine draped her arms around Corvo’s shoulders. She tilted her head and smiled playfully, “No, no, I think they did kiss at the end.”

“I don’t remember that part,” Corvo furrowed his brow, smirking, “You’ll have to remind me of what happened.” 

“I suppose I will,” Jessamine laughed slightly, looking into Corvo’s eyes. Then she moved a hand to Corvo’s face and went on her tip-toes. Corvo leant down to bridge the gap between them, and they kissed, softly and slowly. 

“Is that better?” Jessamine asked with a raised eyebrow, voice barely above a whisper. 

Corvo smiled, and Jessamine couldn’t help herself from smiling too. “I love you,” Jessamine said, her voice still quiet, as if speaking too loudly might ruin the moment. 

“I love you too,” Corvo replied. 

[its-sixxers]

carmen & glory! 10, 11, 21, & 29!

ah yes, these ladies, breakin’ my heart... under a read more cuz long and i wanna spare ur dashes

10. Do they have pet names for each other?

Glory’s the real pet name type. She’ll call Carmen delivery girl, mail lady, a bunch of stuff riffing on the whole Courier thing. Carmen’s pretty traditional and a little stiff - pet names are rare but on occasion she’ll say ‘love’ or ‘dear’.

11. Do they have any inside jokes? Most of them revolve around talking shit about Deacon (in a sibling sort of way). I like to headcanon that Glory enjoys sticking sunglasses they find on random shit just to say it’s him. Glory also likes to tease Carmen about how ‘western’ she is and tries to do a country kind of accent, and Carmen puts on a really bad accent to mock how bad Glory is at it. They’re shitheads in the best way.

21. Personally, do you think they are a good couple? I like to write them as being a pretty human relationship. Not 100% perfect but not all terrible, either. Solid 85% great 15% bumpy mix. Definitely healthier for Carmen than her thing with Boone before she leaves the Mojave.

They get together in the midst of what’s basically a war in very heated circumstances - but both of them are also very used to combat and it’s almost normal for them, so it’s not really a thing that happens out of desperation.

Glory is a much needed thing in Carmen’s life at that point - a relationship that doesn’t have great weight or expectations, something fun and light and a place where she can just see where the wind blows them. Even with the fact that they have to be at least a little sneaky given that fraternization makes for bad vibes in a secret organization the amount of open affection she recieves resets her idea of a healthy relationship. She has a partner who adores her and isn’t afraid to let her know about it and it’s a godsend.

For Glory - she gets to brush with humanity properly. She starts seeing herself in a light that isn’t just the Railroad’s resident killing machine (even though she enjoys that role), and learns a lot of patience from Carmen.

However: they’re both firebrands. They’re both very passionate and very opinionated, and in the short time they’re together they don’t have conflict pop up between them. I think they’d have a lot of difficult when it comes to resolving arguments as they both take it to 100 immediately and don’t back down. I think they’d be able to apologize after the fact and be cool for most things, but I also think that if a big enough difference of opinion happened things would fall apart.

I also think Carmen’s a lot more damaged regarding relationships and is way more anxious than Glory is. If things got bad I could see Glory feeling smothered.

If Glory survived the Brotherhood attack, I think they’d be a good couple for each other if they learned how to deal with conflict when it comes to each other, and if Carmen chilled out a little bit.

Just a very, very loud couple.

29. What are your favorite moments that happen between them?

So: I didn’t write too much coupley stuff with them in l’Appel du Vide due to needing to keep the story flow going but I got a buncha headcanon moments between them anyways lol.

I always love imagining the two of them in combat just because I think they’d synchronize amazingly. Glory’d be the center of attention with her minigun either eviscerating dummies or pinning people down in cover while Carmen snipes em down from another angle and watches her back.

I figure Carmen tells Glory about Boone at some point and Glory says Boone’s a fuckn’ idiot then they have the best sex ever lololololo

For a moment that I actually wrote down: both of them talking down Danse. I wanted to include Blind Betrayal and was a little grumpy about how if you don’t work with the Brotherhood and have a Railroad SS you miss it because I feel like his whole deal works AMAZINGLY with the Railroad’s whole thing. Glory and Carmen manage to bust into the bunker Danse is hiding out in and the two of them use their shared experiences regarding their fuzzy identities to talk him into getting help and guide him out of the Brotherhood’s firing line. It just is kind of the crux of why I love them so much: Glory was ‘created’ and doesn’t have much of a past, Carmen can’t remember hers, they’re both people despite it and grow with each other. Makes me misty eyed. :c

Romance Asks

[mason-gaylord]

The Beginning part 6

Kaaru pants as she stops at a tree, the sun starting to rise.

“Ya had ta choose the largest hill.” She says as Jesse plops down beside her. 

She sits down and sighs, Jesse curled up in the serape to hide from the rising sun.

“Yeah yeah. I’m tired.” He groans. 

She huffs and lays down, tired too. 

“Ya want more story?” She asks and he nods with a little groan.

~storytime~

Hanzo hums as he thinks of questions that may be able to be asked of the girl without screwing with the timeline. 

“Which language were you brought up in? Japanese or English?” Mccree asks and she looks away.

“Neither actually. My first language is ASL.” She says as Toby licks her cheek. 

“What? Why?” Hanzo asks, confused why they would do that and not teach her to speak their languages.

“Y-You’ll find out once I’m born.” She says and they nod. “Any other questions?” 

“How old are you?” Hanzo asks.

“Almost 16. I think. Time is a little funny for me.” She says as Toby hops down and tugs her pant leg of her pajamas. “And it’s my bedtime. Good night you two. I’ll see you and your younger doubles from 15 ish years ago in the morning.” She says, waving to the highly confused men as Toby waddles behind her.  

They go to bed, curious what she meant by younger doubles and come morning people are running around freaking out. 

Except for the girl. She looks absolutely calm and collected, like she expected it to happen.

“Hey kid, what’s goin on?” Mccree asks, yawning as he puts on his prosthetic arm for the day, having taken it off so he wouldn’t get Hanzo cold. 

“New arrivals. 22 year old Jesse Mccree and 23 year old Hanzo Shimada. They’re both passed out from the sudden time jump in the infirmary.” She shrugs. 

“What are ya talkin about? I’m 37 and very much awake.” He says and she laughs. 

“Sorry no but they’re your younger self, being brought here by the major time table event that’s going to happen. It’s a fixed point in time and enable for it to work 2 versions of the people that will be majorly affected within the past and future 20 years will come and be put through an experiment they won’t remember to create the thing that will change the course of their present versions lives forever.” She says and Hanzo frowns at her, wearing a white kimono coincidently. 

“So you’re saying you brought them here.” He says and she nods. 

“Pretty much. Let’s go see em! I’ve only visited the past twice and both times you two acted like total cheese balls.” She smiles before making a mad dash to the infirmary.

“Total… cheese balls?” Hanzo asks, assuming it’s something that Mccree would say. 

“Don’t look at me like that Han.” Mccree frowns as they follow the girl to the infirmary. 

“Like what?” Genji asks, butting into the conversation as he starts to walk with them.

“Like I’m you.” Mccree says and walks faster as the doors to the infirmary are opened by the girl.

“Agent Mcada recognized. Access granted.” Athena chimes and Mccree and Genji stop dead in their tracks.

“What’s wrong?” Hanzo questions. 

“Agent Mcada was a friend of ours in BlackWatch. But she died during a raid.” Mccree shakes his head. 

“Incorrect my fine gentlemen! Now hurry yer butts up!” She says, poking her head out of the door. 

The three men go in, only to find a 23 year old man, who looks identical to how Hanzo did, yelling at a 22 year old man, who is identical to how Mccree did, in japanese, using foul language and hitting the younger with a hospital pillow.

The girl interjects and the young Mccree hugs her. 

“Mcada! How’s my time travelin future daughter doin?” He smiles widely. 

“Oh ya know, just a little older and a whole lot more grounded.” She smiles before the young Hanzo yanks her away from Mccree.

~reality~ 

Kaaru laughs a bit at her story before realising Jesse is already asleep. She smiles and turns over and dozes off herself with one final goodnight to the boy.

Part 1    Part 2    Part 3    Part 4    Part 5

[fortunatowrites]

The Old Mirror

Writing Prompt: “That is a horrible and incredibly stupid idea. I’ll do it and see what happens.”

Inside Peter’s basement sat an old mirror that was very tall. It was a clean and reflective glass oval that sat within an ornate bronze frame that had mostly rusted with age. Somehow, this mirror had been forgotten about and went unnoticed by his family since they’ve moved in. Last week, Peter and Billy were playing down in the basement when Billy found it hiding behind a cabinet. “Peter, your family seriously needs to concentrate on restructuring this junkyard they refer to as a basement.” “But then how would we find the surprises they hide away?” spoke Peter with a smile. “Like this?”

Peter held out an amber stone. Billy immediately took it and started examining at it. “Yeah, I found it in the cabinet,” Peter started to explain, “And I was like ‘wow this looks neat. I bet I should sleep with it under my pillow and osmost the smarts out of it!’ Which makes me think this mirror is special!” “You mean another reason besides the archaic runes engraved in the frame?”

“The weird symbols?” “Yes. Which it looks like are on the amber stone too!” “Oh… I mean oh! Yeah I knew that. That’s how I knew they were connected.” “Certainly. So what’s the idea?”

“Okay so basically, you grip the rock,” Peter said as he snatched back the amber, “and then you cannonball into the mirror!”

Billy immediately grabbed Peter’s shirt and yanked him back as Peter attempted to run at the mirror.

“You can’t be serious.”

“Why not!? I osmostted the facts from the rock!” “Okay, osmosis doesn’t work like that,” Billy said adjusting his glasses, “and if you’re wrong, you might die.” “But look!” Peter said as he threw the rock at the mirror. Billy gasped as it whipped through the air, only to bounce off the mirror and leave a faint glowing mark from where it hit. A moment later, the glow faded and the rock silently slid back to Peter’s feet. Billy looked up at Peter with a look of disbelief. “I accidentally dropped something on the mirror yesterday. Then I un-accidentally dropped many things on it. That mirror can’t break. So if I’m wrong, I’ll just bounce off.”

“That is a horrible and incredibly stupid idea,” Billy said as he picked up the rock. “I’ll do it and see what happens.” “Huh?” Peter said as Billy ran and jumped at the mirror.

Suddenly there was a flash of light and Billy was gone. Peter looked around with fear building up and then ran over to the mirror. As he stepped before it, the runes on the frame glowed brightly. His reflection faded away and a landscape was visible through the frame.

-

Billy tumbled down a hill of red dirt for about five minutes before finally rolling across a flat plateau and slamming against a rock. Shakily, he stood up and leaned against the rock before turning his gaze back to where he came from. There was a shimmering portal where he could still Peter’s basement but it was zipping across the sky and further up the hill it threw him down.

Peter looked around with amazement at this strange place. Everything seemed to be dry and in shades of red. An orange sky hung overhead with dark and smoky pink clouds drifting by. The land before him seemed to stretch out like a desert except for the rolling hills and several mountains.

“Traveller!” a voice shouted in a cheery, but helpful, tone.

Billy looked around in a startle before calling out, “Who’s there!?” “Traveller!” the voice repeated.

Billy waited a moment. “Hello?” “Traveller!” “Goodbye?” “Traveller!”

This carried on for a little bit until Billy found a signpost with a skull on top of it.

“Oh good lord,” he said with a shriek.

“Traveller! Hello! Where are you headed?” the skull spoke with a smile.

“Why do you sound like a robot?” asked Billy. “What’s a robot, traveller?” Billy paused. “Why do you sound automated?” “I have been without contact for very long, Traveller.” “Oh. So you’re, uhm, not dead?”

“I once was alive with a whole body, but after a wizard feared my power, he sentenced me to be a guide in the Valley of the Lost.”

“Valley of the Lost? Oh no. Oh no. O-o-oh no,” Billy said with panic.

“Valley of the Lost! The desolate drylands for exiles and criminals, traveller!” “How do I get to the place they’re exiled from?” “The City of Earthmire is to the North! Travel through the Valley of Ourvos, then the River of Hangur to the Mouth of Nine, and simply pass through the Mountain of Kigarion.” Billy stared at the skull for a minute. Then he grabbed the skull and pointed. “Do I walk this way?” “Traveller, please. Place me back on my Pedestal of the Damned. Also, yes, start walking that way to the Valley of-” “Understood, we’re going this way.” “Traveller! It is illegal to remove me from the pedestal!” “Uh… Sorry, but I’m relieving you from your post. You’ve atoned enough.” “Wow, you truly are a criminal of the Valley of the Lost!” “Hey, don’t be mean to the traveller that’s about to give you excitement and a journey.” “Fair point, Traveller! I would like to see City of Earthmire again before I crumble to the Great Dust.”

“So where am I?” asked Billy.

“The Valley of the Lost!” responded the skull. “No, I mean like what is this planet? And what’s your name?” “Traveller, you are on the plane of Golnder. I am Tervux the Banished!” “I am Billy.” “Billy is too strange for me to remember, Traveller.” Billy rolled his eyes.

It was quite some time later when Billy was outside the metal city of Earthmire. Along the journey he learned that the wizard who ruled this place was rumored to have the answers for sending him home. Also, instead of humans, this world was populated by stone humanoids called golems.

Billy went to the closest building and pushed through metal swinging doors. Inside was some kind of saloon where golems were sitting around eating bricks and drinking mud.

Sitting in metal chairs at rusty tables were the giant men made of stone. They wore strange brown armor and looked like they were made of cement. Some of the armor had green designs on them, one of which read “Granite Eagle Armor.”

Finally seeing them and watching everyone turn to look at him, resulted in one obvious reaction: Billy screamed.

“Lord of Sedimentary, what is that...soft golem thing?!” “It’s horrifyin’!”

Billy stiffened. “You’re horrifying, you southern rockies!”

“The varmit talks!?” one of them shouted as three of em stood up. “Yikes!” Billy said before dashing out.

Billy hid in an alleyway and started to hyperventilate. Incredibly heavy footsteps thundered by the alley as he hid inside a metal crate. Waiting a minute, he stepped out of the crate and brushed off the brick dust. He held up the skull of Tervux.

“Where’s the wizard?”

“Traveller, the wizard lives in the Central Skyscraper! It’s the tallest building in the middle of our glorious city!”

Billy looked to the skyline of metal structures and saw the one Tervux was talking about. With a sigh he began to sneak through the city until they reached the fortress. Once inside, it was just a lobby with a large elevator in the middle. “The wizard is at the top, traveller!” announced the skull.

“I’m surprised there’s no security here,” Billy said. “It’s illegal to see the wizard without an appointment, so no golem can pass through here without an appointment. Except for you, traveller! Very illegal!” “I’ll just ask the wizard to forgive me,” he said as he pressed the button next to the doors..

Surprisingly, the door opened almost immediately to reveal an office on the other side. A golem wearing a metal wizard hat. In the corner of the room sat a mirror identical to the one in Peter’s basement.

“Do I have an appointment with…whatever you are?” asked the wizard.

“I just want to go home to my world!” cried Billy, pointing at the mirror.

“I’m so sorry, but I think I dropped the key in the mirror a long time ago.” Billy smiled a wide grin and pulled out the amber stone from his pocket.

“Do you mean this thing?” “Yes! I can use that to send you home, dear boy,” the wizard said excitedly.

-

Peter screamed as Billy came back through the mirror.

“Thank god you’re back!” he cried. “Yeah… Let’s not follow your ideas anymore.”

[robinslaugh]

A Cat’s Cries - Chapter 1

This is chapter 1 in a new Miraculous Ladybug series I’m writing! This first chapter might be a little boring just because it’s setting the scene but I hope you all enjoy it!

Marinette dashed about the apartment trying to find the cold medicine, they couldn't have been out now could they?

"Ughhhh,"  Emma groaned from the couch as she tried to re-position herself comfortably. Marinette looked over at her daughter worriedly while running to the kitchen to grab a paper bag.

"Here, sweetheart," Marinette said handing the bag to Emma, Emma took it thankfully as she puked into the bag. All there was to do for her was watch TV and try to sleep and for an energetic ten-year-old that wasn't the easiest task. "Where did I put that dang medicine?"

Marinette rummaged through piles of clothes that needed to be put away and kitchen cabinets that should've been organized, in the Agreste household it seemed like when one person got sick the whole family when into survival mode.

"Mama," Emma called tiredly from the couch, Marinette put down the pile of dishes she had been collected and walked over to Emma.

"Yes, Em? You alright?" Marinette asked as she on the arm of the couch and playing with her daughter's hair. Emma shook her head.

"I feel like I'm dying," Emma waved her arms dramatically, Marinette chuckled softly and kissed her forehead.

"Don't worry, you'll feel better soon. I'm trying to find the medicine," Marinette told her before standing back up. Tikki flew over to the two carrying a bottle of purple liquid. "Tikki you're a lifesaver!"

"Glad I could help," Tikki replied sweetly as Marinette took the bottle from her and started to serve it for Emma.

"Thanks *cough* Tikki *cough*," Emma told the kwami before bursting into a fit of coughing while Marinette quickly dished up the medicine and helped Emma sit up. Emma quickly gulped down the medicine which tasted about as far away from what a grape should taste like contrary to what the packaging said.

"You should try to get to sleep, I have to pick your brother up from school," Marinette said pulling more blankets against her daughter. Emma nodded closing her eyes.

Marinette quickly brushed her hair and grabbed her purse turning to Tikki. "Could you watch her? I'll be gone fifteen minutes at the most,"

"You got it Marinette!" Tikki answered cheerfully before landing on Emma's head and watching the television.

Marinette sped walked down the busy Paris streets. She noticed billboards with Chloe modeling on and couldn't help but smile, her friend had grown to be very popular modeling her and Adrien's new line of clothes. Similarly, Alya was talking on a few of the TV's as she walked past, she had become one of the most popular talk show hosts and reporters in all of Paris in the past few years. Even Nino was doing what he loved, he was a DJ and had just started his tour in America.

Marinette stopped in front of the colorful building on the side of the road and opened the gate walking down the path. She could hear the laughter and happy screams of children from inside.

"Hello?" she asked peeking her head in as she stepped through the door, she saw other parents collecting their kids and her own came running up to her.

"Mama I was learning about plants today!" Hugo told her excitedly as Marinette hugged him.

"That's great sweetie!" Marinette replied happily. Hugo's teacher walked up to him and smiled.

"Good to see you Marinette!" Rose greeted, Marinette nodded and hugged her old high school friend.

"You to Rose, I hope Hugo wasn't too much of a hassle for you!" Marinette joked, Rose giggled and shook her head.

"Not at all, he was very excited learning about the ecosystem," Rose informed her, Marinette nodded.

"I wanna be a plant person when I grow up Mama!" Hugo said bouncing up and down, the two older women laughed fondly.

"You'll make an amazing plant person Hugo, but we have to head home now. Tell Mrs. Couffaine goodbye okay?" Marinette said Hugo nodded as his mother took his hand.

"Bye Miss Couffaine!" Hugo waved his chubby little hand, Rose waved back at him turning to another parent who had walked up to her. "How is Em feeling?" Hugo asked as Marinette led him down the street.

"Emma's feeling a little better I think, she fell asleep and that should help her feel all better," Marinette told him, Hugo smiled.

"Good! Maybe she can be a plant person with me!" Hugo announced, Marinette laughed.

"I'm sure she would love that," she said to the five-year-old. Hugo gently tugged on her hand as he knew the way home almost as well as his mother did. Once in a while stopping and starring at a random object, whether that be a bicycle or a crack in the ground.

A fairy tale. These past fifteen years for Marinette have been like a fairy tale, she has her own family, the greatest husband, amazing friends and the two most wonderful kids she could ask for. Of course, there was the occasional akuma attack, she and other miraculous holders really should have stopped Hawkmoth a while ago, but knowing his secret identity only made him so much easier to defeat when he had gone into hiding as Gabriel Agreste. Nonetheless, Marinette enjoyed her life to a point where sometimes she wondered if it could even be real, that someday she would wake and be back in high school.

Screaming. That's what took her out of her thoughts.

Instinctively she pulled Hugo close to her and picked him up.

"Mama what's going on?" Hugo asked, Marinette already knew what it was and started to run in the opposite direction of the screams carrying her child with her.

"It's just an akuma attack, sweetie, everything will be fine," Marinette told him, Hugo scrunched up his face.

"Mean akumas," he commented, Marinette laughed.

"Yes, very mean," she agreed as she looked for a spot she'd be able to hide Hugo.

"Are you gonna be Ladybug? Can I watch you be a superhero!" Hugo asked excitedly, Marinette mentally slapped herself.

"Shush, Hugo please don't say that so loud," Marinette said spotting an ally and dashing towards it. Marinette set him down and started to push a large trash collector away from the brick wall.

"What'cha doing?" Hugo asked. Marinette led him to the new space that separated the ally from the street with the blue garbage bin.

"Mama has to go be a superhero for a little while okay? While I'm gone do not come out from behind here under any circumstances okay? Don't leave here until me, your father or one of your aunts come to get you okay?"

Hugo nodded as he sat down on the ground. Marinette gave her son one last hug and kissed the top of his forehead.

"Mama will be right back, I love you," Marinette told him before jumping over the bin and darting in the direction of the screaming. Her phone rang and she took it out not stopping her pace.

"Marinette where are you? Is Hugo with you? Are you two alright?" she was greeted by the sound of her husband's voice.

"I'm currently heading in the direction of the akuma, I hid Hugo, we're both fine," Marinette answered. She could hear Adrien's sigh of relief.

"Great, I see Tikki's at home, should I bring her to you?" Adrien asked.

"Sounds good, I'll see what I can do until then. I'll be sure to call the others,"

"Isn't Nino out of the country?" Adrien said.

"Yeah, but Alya and Chloe are still in town," Marinette informed him.

"Perfect, I'll see you soon, stay safe I love you," Adrien said.

"I love you too, bye." Marinette replied, putting her phone away.

Marinette rounded a corner and came face to face with a figure with feathers mimicking a birds flowing all over her and tall heels. Marinette had to cover her ears as the akuma's deafening screams shattered the glass of cars in front of them.

"I'm the Crying Canary, Hawkmoth demands I collect those two heroes miraculous before getting my revenge for the murder of my pet. So come out come out where ever you are little cat and bug!" The akuma screeched.

"And what are we, chopped liver?" Rena Rouge shouted jumping in front of the akuma, she tried to hit them with her flute but the akuma grabbed it using it to throw the hero across the street.

Marinette winced as Rena his the ground and ran over to her friend.

"Are you okay?" she asked, Rena sat up slowly rubbing her head.

"Yeah, I'm fine I-girl why aren't you transformed?!" Rena said they needed Ladybug to purify the akuma.

"Tikki's at home, Chat's on his way and bringing her," Marinette told her as she quickly glanced at Bee and Canary who were battling it out. "You got an up-close look of them right? Did you see where the akuma could be?"

Rena Rouge blinked slowly, "Maybe the choker they're wearing?" she suggested, Marinette nodded.

"Sounds about right," she agreed.

"Special delivery for My Lady," a voice alerted the two of them to a third person behind them, Marinette quickly jumped up and hugged him as Tikki took her spot on Marinette's shoulder.

"Thanks, Chaton," she told him, Chat gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Anytime Bugaboo, let's go! We got a bird to cage!" he quickly leaped towards the akuma only for its screams to cause him to fall and cover his ears, both women laughed quietly as he took cover.

"Tikki spots on!"

[elenajohansenauthor]

What We Need to Survive Excerpt: Chapter 1

[post-apocalyptic/new adult romance]

Chapter 1 - Cigarette Lighters

August 23rd, 4:23 pm – Somewhere along US-36, Central Ohio

Paul kicked a rock out of his path, watching it bounce and skitter down the highway.

He saw no point in wasting breath on cursing the weather. One squall of rain caught him earlier in the day, forcing him into the cramped shelter of one of the abandoned cars dotting the road. But the boom of thunder in the distance worried him. He’d spent plenty of nights out in the open. Sleeping in the rain was miserable enough, but he imagined sleeping through a storm would be next to impossible.

He looked up, but thick forest on both sides of the highway hid all but the narrowest strip of sky. Blank, unbroken gray hovered above him. There was no way to judge how close the storm was, except for the unreliable system of counting Mississippis.

The closest building he remembered passing was at least half an hour behind him, maybe an hour. The closest town he’d left behind yesterday afternoon. Turning back might get him to shelter before the storm struck, if he hurried.

Or it might not. The road ahead curved away from him, and the trees could hide anything.

Paul kept moving forward, faster under the threat of rain.

Ten minutes later, he spied a gas station and picked up his pace even more.

As he got closer, the station didn’t seem promising. Most of the windows gaped empty, broken down to their frames, and the front door hung askew on a broken hinge. The first fallen leaves of the season littered the parking lot. Shards of glass from the broken windows and random bits of trash lay scattered among them.

The rain started as Paul reached the edge of the parking lot. He sprinted for the cover of the roof protecting the pumps.

Hard-won caution kept him from dashing the rest of the way inside. Instead he approached the building with slow, deliberate steps, holding up his empty hands. “Hello in there!” he called. “Anybody home?”

There was no answer, but Paul remained wary. When he was a few yards from the open door, he stopped and called again. “Is anyone there? I ain’t lookin’ for trouble, just a place to get out of the rain.”

A shuffling sound came from his right, and a movement that flickered in the corner of his eye. He turned toward it and saw a gun pointed in his direction. The gunman himself hid in the shadow of the empty window frame.

“Stay where you are!” the man shouted. His voice was deep and authoritative, the kind of voice that focused the attention of anyone who heard it. Paul didn’t doubt it belonged to a man willing to shoot him, if necessary.

“No trouble,” Paul repeated. “I was hopin’ this place was empty, ‘cause I’d rather be inside than out with a storm overhead. But if I ain’t welcome, I’ll move on.”

“Stay right there, and give me a minute!”

Paul did as the man ordered, watching the gun in the window, which didn’t move. He guessed the man was talking to someone inside, but he couldn’t hear anything. While he waited, the rain grew heavier, pinging on the corrugated metal of the roofing like the highest notes played on a huge steel drum.

“You got any weapons?” the deep-voiced man called out.

“Just the knife on my belt,” Paul answered. “No guns.”

“You can wait out the storm with us in here, then be on your way. Sound reasonable?”

Paul lowered his hands. “Yeah, that’s good.” The gun disappeared from the window, and the knot of tension in Paul’s chest loosened. He hadn’t believed he was going to get shot, but he was relieved to be right.

Unless they were going to rob him the minute he walked in the door. But it was too late to run now. If they meant to take his supplies, then the man with the gun could shoot him in the back when he fled.

Best to play along.

A man with dark brown skin and chin-length dreadlocks appeared in the doorway. He was shorter than Paul, but that didn’t mean he could be dismissed as a threat, since he was much more heavily muscled. His straight-backed posture and firm gaze shouted military to Paul. Or maybe cop. And he sported a holster on his belt. The man with the gun.

Unless there’s more than one of ‘em.

When Paul didn’t move, he flashed a grin, wide and startlingly white. “Come on in,” he said, beckoning with one hand. He stood aside to let Paul through.

The inside of the station wasn’t in any better shape than the outside. The metal shelving units were empty, all the chocolate bars and potato chips gone. Glass-fronted refrigerators lined the back wall, but those were empty, too. At the counter, the cash register lay on its side, the drawer popped loose. Paul guessed that had happened in the first few days, when looters thought money still meant something. It hadn’t taken long before that wasn’t true anymore. Dark patches stained the white linoleum floor. Paul hoped they weren’t blood. Though they probably were.

“I’m John,” the man said. His voice sounded almost friendly, and Paul lifted his hand in automatic reaction to meet John’s for a shake. He dropped it when he saw there was no hand offered.

“Paul.” He settled for giving John a nod instead.

John turned and headed for an open space beyond the counter. Paul meant to follow, but he stopped short at the sight of a girl crouched under the window. She was small, her thin limbs folded in on themselves to take up as little space as possible. Her black hair was oddly uneven in length, not quite reaching her shoulders. Paul guessed it was growing out from whatever shorter style she’d had, before. Her wide eyes watched him with silent tension, like a fawn ready to bolt to safety.

Paul hadn’t met many kids on the road, but most of them looked a lot like her. Frail and frightened, not ready to face what the world had become since the plague had ruined everything.

Before Paul could decide what to say to her—or even if he should say anything at all—she shot to her feet and followed John across the room. Her ill-fitting clothes didn’t completely hide the curves of her body, and the swing of her hips was shocking and compelling at the same time. She wasn’t a young girl at all. Her head wouldn’t even reach Paul’s shoulder, but she was a grown woman, right down to the angry toss of her hair.

But still frightened.

Paul let her have her distance from him. With any luck, the storm would pass before nightfall, leaving him time to move on and make camp somewhere else for the night. He’d shared makeshift shelter with strangers before, talked, and traded, but he never slept well. And it was no great leap to guess the woman didn’t want him there.

Though she had let him in, at least. That was why she’d been at the window, Paul guessed—John had checked with her before giving Paul permission.

Lightning flashed outside. Paul counted four-Mississippi before the thunder rolled over the building. After the next strike, he counted three.

If the light were better, he could pass the time scribbling in his notebook. A half-formed song had haunted his thoughts for days, and he’d welcome a chance to jot down the lyrics. But it would be a waste of ink and paper trying to write by lightning flashes.

If the company were better, he could talk and see about some trading. He was running lower than he liked on food, though he had enough to see him through the next day or two. The towns on this stretch of the highway all seemed to be one or two days apart, so he expected to hit another one tomorrow. He could spend a day searching houses for supplies.

Glancing around the interior of the station, he wondered if there was a rack of local road maps. So far, he’d been navigating by the ones posted on the walls at rest stations. But it was too dark to see much of anything, except a weak glow from the far corner. Someone had lit a candle. He heard low voices talking. John’s, he recognized. Another one, lighter and higher-pitched, he assumed was the woman’s. But there was a third, too, higher still and squeaky.

Another flash of lightning drew Paul’s attention back to the window. No need to introduce himself to the others if they were only company while the storm lasted. With nothing else to do, he cleared a space on the counter, sat on it, and watched the storm.

There was a light patter of footsteps. Paul turned just as someone reached out to touch his arm. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Paul replied. The boy looked about nine or ten. His skin was almost the same deep brown shade as John’s. The glow of the candlelight behind him traced the edges of his short corkscrew curls, giving them a faint golden sheen.

“Do you want to trade with us before we eat dinner?” he asked, half-polite and half-shy. “Maybe we have something different, if you’re tired of what you got.”

“Sure.” Paul slid off the counter top and followed the boy over to the others.

John sat cross-legged with his back to one wall. “Aaron, I told you not to bother him.”

Aaron shrugged as he settled beside John. “I just wanted to see if he had any different food we could trade for. I’m tired of peanut butter crackers.”

In the corner, the woman sat with her knees drawn up before her. She flicked a glance at Paul but said nothing as he pulled off his pack and sat down several feet away.

“You might be in luck, then, Aaron,” Paul said. “I’ve got some granola bars. The s'mores kind, I think.”

Aaron gave him a big smile that was nearly identical to John’s. Paul didn’t want to leap to any conclusions based on the fact that they were both black, but they looked enough alike to be father and son. So far, they were acting like it.

Paul stole another glance at the woman as she stared into the candle flame, ignoring everything else. Her skin was a lighter golden brown, under the smudges of dirt. And despite the realization that she wasn’t a child, she didn’t look anywhere near old enough to be Aaron’s mother. So who was she, and how did she end up with them?

The sound of a zipper snapped his thoughts back into focus—Aaron had a battered red backpack on the floor in front of him. He reached in and pulled out two packets of crackers.

Paul rifled through his own supplies and turned up two granola bars in exchange. He was about to ask what else they might want, open-ended, to see if he could draw the woman out at all. Before he could, he heard wet, squelching footsteps from the front of the building. He leaped to his feet, whirling to face the newcomers. Three of them, two women and a man, all middle-aged, all splattered with rain.

“Easy, Paul.” John’s voice was firm. “They’re with us.”

“If we’d known the rain would start so soon,” the man said, “we could’ve just set these outside and let the storm fill them up.” He had a large metal water bottle in each hand. One he passed to John, the other he set on the floor beside him as he sat down. “So you made a new friend while we were gone?”

A soft snort came from the corner, but John answered them without acknowledging it. “Just sharing the roof until the storm passes.”

The man pulled off his baseball cap, ran a tanned hand through his salt-and-pepper hair, and smiled. “I don’t blame you for not wanting to get rained on.” He stuck out his other hand, which Paul shook briefly. “Mark.”

“Paul.”

“And this is my wife, Sarah,” he went on as one of the women sat down on his other side. The rain plastered her short blond hair to her forehead, but she smiled too and passed the extra bottle she carried to Aaron.

“Nice to meet you, Paul,” she said.

The final newcomer was still standing, looking down at Paul with a curious intensity. “Hello there.” Handsome, Paul mentally tacked on, because that was the exact tone she used. Since she was staring, he did too.

She was tall, or maybe she only seemed tall because she was lean and angular. Her hair was a riot of messy red curls in dire need of a wash, but she was pretty, in a faded, tired sort of way. Before the plague hit, she must have been beautiful. Before her eyes grew ringed with dark circles and her cheeks hollowed out from lack of food. “I’m Alison.”

Paul nodded. Alison tilted her head to the side for a moment, clearly waiting for more. When she didn’t get it, she strode past him. Behind him, which made his shoulder blades itch before he realized she was going to the small woman’s side.

Who still hadn’t given her name. Someone would, though. Paul could be patient.

Alison leaned against the wall and tapped it twice with the extra bottle in her hand. The sound reminded Paul of a food dish being set on the floor for a pet. Without looking, the woman reached her hand up, palm flat, and Alison set the bottle on it. Neither of them said a word.

When Alison sat down between her and Paul, closer to him than he would have liked, he had to resist the urge to pull away. No sense in being rude if he was only here until the storm let up.

“So, Paul,” Mark said with forced cheerfulness, “which way you headed?”

“East.”

Mark’s lips twisted behind his dark scruff of a beard, which hadn’t gone as white as his hair yet. “Damn, us too. I was hoping you were coming from there, so we could get an idea what the road ahead was like.”

Shaking his head, Paul said, “Sorry I can’t be more help.”

“Maybe you can,” Sarah said. “Do you have anything to trade?”

With an easy smile, Paul asked, “What d'you need?”

Sarah pursed her lips as she thought, and the cuteness of the expression took years off her face. “Extra socks?” she asked, hopeful enough that Paul knew she needed them, but resigned enough that she didn’t expect to get them.

Paul shook his head and turned to Mark. “Smokes.” Which earned him a light slap on the shoulder from his wife. “What, it’s been weeks now!” But Paul’s answer was another shake of his head.

John had Aaron seated in his lap and was finger-combing the boy’s hair. “I’m not holding my breath that you’ve got any natural-hair care products. I’m more likely to get struck by lightning. Inside.”

The dry, deadpan tone startled a laugh out of Paul. “I ain’t even got anything for myself right now,” he said, scratching at his dark blond hair. “I’m way overdue for a wash, and dunkin’ my head in a river ain’t the same. I’d shave it all off if electric razors were still a thing.”

Mark gestured at him. “You’ve got a knife.”

“I’d cut myself to ribbons. I think I’ll keep bein’ shaggy for now.”

Aaron, sensing his turn, piped up. “Any books? I’ve read the one I have about a dozen times by now.”

“Not much of a reader,” Paul answered. “What book you got?”

“Treasure Island,” Aaron said. “I like adventure stories.”

Alison snorted. “You’re living in one.”

John gave her a narrow-eyed look over Aaron’s head, but he didn’t say anything.

“Pain killers.”

The sharp and sudden request focused Paul’s attention on its source, the unnamed woman. Gone was the frightened doe of a girl—now her eyes were hard and flat. “Half a bottle of aspirin,” he offered. “What’ll you give me for it?”

“All I’ve got to spare is food. Cheese crackers, chocolate bars, take your pick. Or a can of Red Bull, if you’re afraid to sleep in here with us tonight and want to stay awake instead.”

“Nina …” John said with more than a hint of warning in his voice.

So she’s got a name after all.

“It’s thunderstorm season,” she said. “We’ve been lucky so far they haven’t been worse, but this one’s not going to pass over in an hour like you hope. We’re going to be here overnight.”

Alison hunched forward, elbows on her knees. “How do you know?”

“The weather here isn’t much different from where I grew up,” she answered with a slight shrug. “I lived with this every summer as a kid.” She turned back to Paul. “Anyway, does that work for you?”

Medicine of any kind was valuable, even the common stuff like aspirin. Food was never a bad trade, but he doubted she had enough to spare. “You hurt?” he asked, stalling.

“Cramps,” she answered shortly, and Paul suppressed a grin.

Any urge he’d felt to smile, though, disappeared when Alison spoke. “I’d think you’d be glad you’re having them.”

Paul found the bottle in his pack and rolled it across the floor toward Nina. It stopped at the toe of her boot, and she stared at it without speaking. “Don’t need any food,” Paul said, though it wasn’t strictly true. “I’ve got enough for myself for now. But since y'all were here first, I figure anything left in this place is yours, and I saw some lighters in the display on the counter. I’d be happy with a few of those. Seems like a good thing to have, and they might come in handy for trades down the line.”

Off to his other side, John and Mark traded a stunned look—Paul guessed they hadn’t noticed the lighters. Mark got up to retrieve them. “Let’s see …” he said, counting. “If we each keep one for ourselves, that leaves six for you. Sound good?”

“Sure,” Paul said. Mark brought them over to him, and out of the corner of his eye Paul watched Nina. She didn’t reach out to take the aspirin until the lighters were in his hands. Mark distributed the rest of them while Nina swallowed a few pills with a swig from her water bottle. She noticed Paul watching and nodded at him. He figured that was the closest she would come to thanking him, so he gave her a smile. Not the huge, dazzling grin that his mother had once told him would break hearts someday. Instead it was the small curve at the corners that his girlfriends, over the years, had all told him was sweet. He used the first one on women he wanted to impress—the second was usually reserved for the ones he was already close to. But the last thing he wanted to do was make Nina think he was attracted to her.

Even though he was. Illuminated by the candlelight, Paul could see she had beautiful eyes, big, vividly blue, and fringed with thick lashes. He had a pronounced weakness for women with gorgeous eyes.

But Paul could see Nina wasn’t like some of the other women he’d met on the road in the aftermath of the plague. The ones just as lonely as he was, who were willing to trust him for the length of one night before they parted ways in the morning. He never looked back, and neither did they. There hadn’t been many, and it had been weeks since the last time, so it was only natural he’d find himself falling in lust with someone.

Even if prying words out of that someone was a challenge.

Before the silence between them stretched on too long, Paul forced himself to look away. “Alison, you want anything?”

[ericnohr-blog]

twtoc challenge: 1/?

“idiot. i’m an idiot.”

F I C   U N D E R   C U T

Eric was all giddy the entire morning of the first challenge. He couldn’t wait to see what it would bring, and he’d hoped it would all go incredibly well. Knowing himself, things normally went okay in his favor in competitions- he was a fair guy, and nature preferred to be on his side at times.

That day, they stood before the water, their Head Mistress standing with her head held high- she was a firm lady, but truly something else. Most of the students at Hogwarts respected her. Very hard not to, it was. And as Eric watched her, the more he knew he could not let her down. So he listened very closely when she began to speak.

“Hello Champions, are you ready?” she asked, a smile hiding on her small lips. Eric glanced out at the clear, but dark water and felt his nerves rustle deep inside him, but the action was merely slight. “You being in two minutes- you can take this time to discuss your strategy, or give one another a pep talk.”

Eric glanced at the other three girls and suddenly felt very self conscious. He was the only male, and seemingly the only one who seemed nervous. They all gave a stern look- a look of determination, and Eric knew immediately he had to refrain from showing his anxiety. Instead he smiled devilishly and rubbed his hands together. “‘I’m ready- I think we truly have this down pat.”

One of the girls, Emerett gave an easy smile. “This is only slightly terrifying.”

Hearing this, Eric felt more at ease- he was not the only nervous one.

“Make Hogwarts proud!” Headmistress spoke confidently. A tip: expect the unexpected and be prepared in situation.”

Eric giving Em a kind smile he said, “It’s all fine- we just have to stay in focus! I believe in all of us, truly.”

Headmistress then gave the instructions to start the task, and the sparks flew from her wand, giving the sign that the challenge had now begun. Eric and his other teammates immediately performed the bubble head charm, and dived into the water quickly. Eric was beginning to grow uneasy due to the deepness and darkness of the water. He enjoyed nature and swimming, but he had to be honest and say that he’d never swam this deeply before.

He turned to his teammates and nod, noticing that the blonde girl from the group had disappeared- but Eric knew to not worry of that now, they had to find their first task. He could look for her later.

“You must dive deeper into the water in order to find the mermaid,” a voice spoke softly in his head, and only then did he realize it was the Headmistress.

Pointing towards the deeper end, he motioned for his teammates to follow and began his trek towards the water, checking every few seconds on his teammates.

“It’s quite dark down here,” Em noted as they began to reach their destination to the deep end.

As they swim, the water began to grow colder and darker. Creatures swam around them, and they all tried their best to avoid them.

“Do you see any mermaids down there?” the other girl called out to the two.

Shaking her head Em replied, “Not yet- keep swimming.”

Eric then pulled his wand from his pocket and said, “Lumos,” very quietly, causing a sudden ray of light to beam from the tip of his wand. As he did this, he tried to avoid the creatures swimming around him. “We should keep swimming, all I see are creatures and water.”

With a nodding of the head, the two girls begin to follow him once again. They all watched the creatures float by, minding their own business mostly, and watched the water ripple around them. As a large creature hurried by Em, she ducked. “Who feeds these things?” she muttered.

Suddenly, a bright glow beneath the rocks had caught Eric’s eye as he heard Em say, “I see something!”

Pointing at the rocks, Eric asked, “The ones over there?”

As he mentioned them, the light began to grow warmer and brighter, causing Em to nod quickly and swim faster towards it. Eric followed closely behind Em, glancing around and scanning the perimeter to make sure there were no harmful creatures near. “Stay close and stay safe- we can’t go disturbing any creatures down here!”

As they approached the glistening rocks, a beautiful mermaid appeared, glistening from the light off Eric’s wand. Floating backwards slightly, he gasped. “We can’t frighten it,” he whispered softly to his two teammates.

“It? She’s beautiful!” whispered Em, who’s face was full of shock.

The other girl, obviously not amazed asked, “What do we do now?”

“Move slowly?” Em suggested, a slight shrug followed.

The mermaid then swam closer to the champions where she was incredibly visible. Eric’s eyes were wide in shock- he had never seen a mermaid before.

“Hello,” he spoke, introducing himself. “I’m Eric- we are students of Hogwarts.”

Lowering her head respectfully, Em smiled, “I am Em.”

As they begin to chat, Eric learned that the mermaid already knew of their existence due to the bathrooms and such, hearing their names and of them being champions. The group conversed of stories and such of Hogwarts after the mermaid stated how lonely she felt during her time alone out in the sea. Eric and company told stories of the Weasley twins and the marauders, speaking highly fond of all the mischief that came along with the stories. After what seemed like forever, finally the mermaid sighed and gave a smile.

“Such beautiful stories, shall you stay and tell me more?”

“I hate to decline, since we are having so much fun, but we’ve really got to continue with our journey- perhaps another time?” Eric suggested.

Suddenly, it was as if the entire atmosphere had shifted. The mermaid’s once beautiful face has contorted into something evil- something awful. She began to hiss, her eyes dark as midnight, turning catlike. She began to grow scales, dry and rough on as her skin. “Ungrateful mortals, turning down such an invitation!” she cried out, her voice sounding like a screech.

Em jerked back quickly, mumbling her apologies and her cursing.

Quickly, the creature reached out for Em’s leg, clawing into her flesh, and immediately drawing blood.

“Em!” Eric shouted, as she began to kick and scream the creature away. Grabbing a hold of her arm tightly, he pulled her away sharply from the creature, causing enough distance for safety. “We have to find another way!”

Grabbing onto her leg again the creature spoke. “Such a pretty little girl, I think I’ll take on your appearance.” After, she began to morph right in front of the student’s eyes.

Suddenly confused, Eric couldn’t tell the two apart.

“Oh my gosh!” one of the Emerett’s cried. “Guys, attack her!”

“No guys- don’t listen to her, it’s /me/,” the other said, emphasizing her words clearly.

“I- I don’t know what to do, Em!” Eric said softly, his eyes darting from both figures, his wand pointing at both.

For a moment, the two tried to prove their true identity. Backing away, Eric paused and furrowed his brow. “Prove you’re the real Em, and I will let you go.”

“Come here and I’ll show you,” one of the Em’s said seductively, and Eric felt in his guts, that it wasn’t her.

“Don’t go near her!” the other called out.

The other teammate turned to Eric. “Which one is the real her?”

Pointing at the Em that was beckoning him to come forth, Eric growled. “You’re not the real Em! Why would you ask me to come closer?” Glancing around, he swallows back his fear and continues to point his wand.

Suddenly the other Em asks, “What does the Great Hall look like?”

Grabbing her arm, the evil Em whispers, “It’s… A… Great… Hall!” The proceeds to slice down her arm deep enough to draw blood.

“No!” Eric cried out, dashing quickly enough to knock the creature away from Em.

Screaming, Em points her wand at the creature and shouts, “Obscurio!”

“We’re running out of time!” Eric warned, watching the mermaid, cower and hiss, covering her eyes.

“Let’s go!” Em grabbed her arm and pushed away from the creature, and dashing past her.

“The rocks!’

Pointing her wand at her arm, Em granted a spell to help heal herself. Then, pointing at the rocks, she shouted, “Confringo!” causing the rocks to blast open, and revealing a hole. “Let’s go!”

As he gazed at the opening, he glanced at the other two and asked, “Should I?”

“Yes! Let’s go!”

Immediately the three swam through, trying to avoid the evil creature and to gain composure. As they swam, their surroundings grew darker and darker causing them to soon be blind from any sight. They then decided to swim together despite the ragged ends of the rocks, and kept quiet the entire time. Suddenly the cave mouth closes and the three champions groaned.

Beginning to worry, the three began trying to come up with a plan, when they were interrupted.

As they began to speak to the mermaid, they noticed her kind nature and how she had offered to help. Before speaking- Ava, the fourth champion appeared in the water.

“Hey, guys! I’ve been here the entire time- I just used a charm on myself to blend in with my surroundings and try to get ahead, but I’ve decided it’s best to stick and work together!”

Already suspicious, Eric turned to the mermaid as she again, offered her help. As he opened his mouth, Ava interrupted him quickly.

“Can we huddle for a second? We need to talk!” Ava said, motioning to the others.

“W-what? Why do we need to huddle?” Eric asked as Em pulled him into the huddle.

Giving a smirk, Ava whispered, “Okay, so I totally know it’s the worst time to ask you all to trust me, but I think we don’t need the mermaid’s help.”

The three girls nodded and one said, “What if she turns all psycho like the last one?”

“She seems really nice,” Eric interjected. “I’m not sure I want to deny another mermaid again- didn’t quite go so well the first time. Em got hurt then too, we don’t wanna take the chance.”

“Look,” Ava spoke, shooting a glare at Eric for no reason, “They are sentient creatures. I live with them basically, down in the Slytherin dungeon. And lemme’ tell you, they are not be trusted.”

“Slytherin students can be just as bad,” Eric joked slightly, still wondering why she had been glaring at him.

“I don’t know,” Em whimpered, shaking her head and closing her eyes with confusion.

“They’re sentient creatures! They can read our feelings and thoughts clearly so that they can manipulate us. She’s obviously sweet talking because she knows we need her help,” Ava pushed.

“Wouldn’t that mean she knows exactly what we are saying currently?” Eric asked. “There would be no point in this conversation then.”

“I apologized for being stealthy already, don’t push me. It’s not the time for house rivalry,” Ava growled, her glaring growing hotter.

“Ava- no one’s upset with you for that,” Em had begun to say. Suddenly the girl, Corona, said, “I agree we don’t need the mermaid.”

Eric looks at her in shock. “What- this is ridiculous! If anyone gets hurt, it’s not my problem. We saw what happened just minutes ago-”

“Really, Eric?” Em spoke dryly before turning to Ava.

There was silence for a few moments, and then Ava asked, “”So do you want my brain and experience, or not?”

“Yes, please.”

Eric sighed and shook his head. “ I still don’t like this idea at all.”

“I have no time for this nonsense,” Ava began. “We’ve really got to say no, God only knows what sort of favor she will ask for afterwards.”

The mermaid sat there patiently as the champions argued, fumbling with her jewelery.

“And I’m not willing to pay for something that I am not clear of,” Ava finished.

“I say give the mermaid a choice, that’s my vote,” Eric said firmly. “Don’t join. I have faith in people, and I won’t deal with anyone getting hurt due to disagreements.”

As Em began to move, she accidentally hurt her leg, causing a cut to bleed. The mermaid offered her seaweed and murmured, “Wrap it.”

“Are you sure we can’t trust her?” Em asked quietly, taking the seaweed and wrapping her leg.

Turning to Eric, Ava sneered. “Eric, I really don’t think it’s time to be pessimistic towards your teammate. And Em, look, it’s wiser that we stick together with the people who have the same goal in mind- which is winning.”

“You weren’t even here when Em got hurt!” Eric cried out. “How can we even trust you when you watched that all happen, and didn’t even offer your help?”

“Guys-” Corona warned, “We don’t have much time left.”

“That’s why I’m here now!” Ava snarled.

“We need to make a decision and stick with it,” Corona pushed.

They bickered for a few more minutes and finally Ava said, “I’m doing it solo.” “WHAT?!” Eric cried out in disbelief. “You can’t just do it solo, are you out of your mind?”

“Stop being emotional, Eric,” she said. “We don’t have time for it.”

“Ava, you can’t just /leave/!” Em snapped.

“You’re crazy!” Eric said, shaking his head, almost laughing.

Ava smirked. “Suck it up and join with me, or not.”

“GUYS,” Corona said louder, her voice warning.

Suddenly the mermaid was next to the group and whispered, “Sorry for barging in on your discussion, but she’s right. You’re a team, you have to stick together to win this.”

“We should trust her,” Eric said, motioning his hand towards the mermaid. “She’s being too kind, and I see no use in not using resources.”

“I’m being kind!” Ava said. “Hello, earth to Eric? I could’ve won and gone solo- I chose to stick it out with you all.”

“You aren’t being kind,” Eric said through clenched teeth. What was with this girl? First she hid the entire time until they were close to the win, and now she suddenly wants to bark orders? Eric was normally easy going, but when it came to things like this- he wasn’t going to be pushed around. Not him. “We have to worry about safety.”

Ava sighed and shook her head. He could tell that she was bossy, but he didn’t think she would be this bad. “Winning for the team, Eric!” she cried out. “I’ve got an idea- okay, the Occamy-”

“I’m not going with you, especially when you’re truly only thinking of the win and not of everyone. You’re focusing only on yourself,” Eric growled.

“Can’t we all just go now?” Em begged.

Pulling out a string bag, Ava turned to Em. “You’re good at transfiguration, right Em?”

Before Em could answer, the mermaid swam back behind the four. “Look, do you want my help or not? I’m half siren- I could enchant the Occamy into a lull if you’d like.”

“Come on,” Eric murmured. “Give her a chance.”

“Aelia,” Ava said firmly, “Thank you for your kind offer- but if you could not interrupt me while I’m talking.” Turning back to Eric, she groaned, throwing her hands. “Eric, give /me/ a chance.” Eric had enough. “You just burst out of nowhere to save the day? I don't play that way, we worked to get here as a team and you're wanting all the glory for yourself. This girl is trying to help us. All of us.”

“I think we should be resourceful,” Em finally said. “If she’s a resource, why don’t we use her?”

“She’s a strong resource,” Eric added.

Thumping her legs, Ava laughed  bitter laugh. “You’re kidding! If the Occamy awakes through it all, you’ll definitely be glad what I’ve got inside my bag.”

“I don't trust that you hid from all the action and now that the glory is right in reach you want the title. Typical. I trust that we can at least use her as a resource instead of hoping for something that could hurt,” Eric muttered.

As they argued, Ava slowly began to wear down and finally she snapped. “Fine! Say yes to the stupid mermaid.”

Eric turned to Em. “Are you okay with this choice?”

Em nodded quickly, as did Corona and Eric turned to the mermaid. “Yes, we will take the help.”

Avan snarled. “If anything goes wrong, I’m only taking Em with me.”

Eric glared and smirked. “I’m not too worried about myself anyhow.”

The mermaid smiled and nodded. “Excellent, let’s enter the cave.”

As they entered the cave, Eric admired the structure as much as he could with the limited source of light. As they observed the Occamy, on sight Eric noticed how gorgeous looked- but knew just how awful it could be. They swam and Eric kept a close eye on the three girls, hoping nothing would go wrong. That was just what he needed. Something to go wrong and for Eric to be blamed.

“Please, Occamy, eat Eric,” Ava snickered, causing Eric to roll his eyes as they made their way through the inside.

“Please do, berid me of her presence,” Eric muttered.

They all stopped feet away from the Occamy and watched it warily. The Occamy began to rise and glance around, its vision out of focus.

“Oh please tell me she’s got bad eyesight,” Em murmured, her gaze wide.

The mermaid began to back up to the edge of the cave, leaving the four champions floating in the middle. The Occamy suddenly sees the intruders and roars, causing the entire cave to tremble.

“Oh yeah, she’s got 20/20,” Em sighed, tightening her grip.

“I guess we should-”

The mermaid grabbed Eric’s arm. “No! Let me go first!” Then she begins to sing, her song sounding enchanting and sweet.

Eyes wide, Eric turns to the mermaid, not knowing what to say.

Ava rolled her eyes. “It’s official, men only think with their dicks.”

As they all began to swim towards the Occamy, Ava shoved Eric out of the way, causing him to fly out of the way and growl obscenities as he followed closely behind. When they reached a close enough distance, the mermaid abruptly stopped her singing and lets out one large shriek, causing the Occamy to wake up.

“I knew it!” Ava cried. “You’re dead meat, Eric!”

The mermaid then blocked off the entrance and caused everything in the cave to begin to tremble and rumble as rocks began to fly. The Occamy focused on Em and growled. Em stood there silently, not knowing what to say. Her body shook with fear as she slowly held out her hand to stop the others. “Stay-stay calm,” she called out.

Quickly dashing towards the Occamy, Eric holds out his wand and cries, “Stupefy!” Unfortunately, the Occamy ate the spell and snorted, leaving Eric to be confused, and almost angry.

“Idiot,” Ava muttered, deserving a glare from Eric.

“You’re not helping,” he snapped.

Em still stood frozen in her place, afraid to move. “I-”

“Move, Em!” Ava called out, shoving her aside and pointing her wand. “Conjunctivitis!”

As this occurred, the mermaid had continued her shriek. “I’m sorry, I have to…”

Em begam swimming closer to the Occamy, her heart racing.

Water was rushing around him as he watched Em, wanting to cry out for her to watch out. The Occamy slashed out towards Ava’s leg, but luckily she dodges quickly.

“Flipendo!”

The Occamy ignored her, and swiped its teeth near Eric. Eric rushed forward and grabbed the mermaid and covered her mouth as he dodged the Occamy. At that moment, Em spotted something with a glint of silver, and began swimming fast towards the eggs, trying her best to keep silent.

“Immobulus!”

Ther mermaid struggled against Eric’s grip, grasping at his arm and hand, tight around her.

“Accio, egg!” Em shouted, pointing her wand at the egg in hopes the spell would work.

The Occamy let out a roar as Eric pointed his wand at the mermaid and shouted, “Stupefy!”

Ava, who was currently distracting the Occamy, shouted out to Em, “Use the spell defodio! Perhaps it’s underground,” before shouting, “Incarcerous!”

At the same time that the Occamy whipped its tail and hit Eric, was the same time that Em had shouted, “Defodio!”

Eric flew across the water, and suddenly the bubble that protected his head, popped, and water began to flood his mouth, trying to reach his lungs. Gasping for air, his wand flies out of his hand and he reaches out to grab it before choking on water.

“Just in time!” Ava cried out, “Cave inimicum!”

Earth by the eggs began to rumble, and Eric could hear Em grumble, and shout the spell again. Water was flooding around Eric, and he grew terrified. Was he going to die here? Would they let him die? A failure?

One silver egg was unearthed and revealed three shiny eggs behind it.

“Oh come on,” Em groaned, “Accio, egg!”

Ava rushed over to Eric quickly, pulling gillyweed from her bag and shoving it in Eric’s mouth. “You better be thankful,” she muttered in his ear, “Or I’ll kick your ass later.”

As this happened, Em received one egg, and was working on retrieving the second one. Ava helping Eric up, pointed her wand out and shouted, “Stupefy!”

The Occamy then froze, and there was a loud roar from outside the cave. “You won’t make it out of here alive. There’s a reason it’s a female- the male is coming,” the mermaid called out.

“Shit,” Ava said, her eyes wide.

Em rushed forward towards the other eggs and shouted, “Accio, eggs!”

Eric turned to Ava and said quickly, “Men can be easily rid of! Just distract the female as much as you can!”

The roar begins to grow louder and Ava and Eric come up with a plan.

“Em! Go get the eggs! I’ll try to attack- Eric can you distract?”

As she asks this, the female Occamy unfreezes and lets out a large roar, causing the place to shake. Eric nods and says, “You keep eyes on the female and help Em. Find a way to get everyone out and attack the female. I’ll take care of the male.”

“I have two more eggs left!” Em called out.

Ava raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Better swallow your pride better than gillyweed.”

Eric smirked. “Perhaps when we are out of here alive. Just keep going Em!”

The female Occamy suddenly advances towards Em, and Ava points upwards trying to shoot off a boulder, but the boulder does not budge. Next, Em cries out stupefy in defense, to only be let down.

“Swim, Em!” Ava shrieks out, reaching out for Em. Then, the Occamy’s teeth grazes Ava’s shoulder while chasing after Em.

“Ava!” Eric cried out. “Go, Em! Go!”

Despite her hurt arm, she pointed at the Occamy and cried out, “Flipendo!” Ava then winced as the occamy cried out loudly.

As Eric is distracting the Male Occamy with simple spells and swimming back and forth, he spots Ava and her hurt shoulder. He dashes towards her, losing sight of the male and grabs her arm. “Come on! We can’t continue getting hurt!”

“Ava- are you okay?” Em asks, beginning to turn around as the female Occamy swings her tale into Eric, hitting his entire lower body and causing him to fly away from Ava.

“Shit!” he cries out, his body swinging back and forth, as his gaze becomes fuzzy from the sudden shock.

The cave begins to rumble as Eric tries to return to his position, but the rippling of the water causes this to be difficult. Eric watches as Em cries out, continuously pointing her wand and screaming, “Accio, eggs! Accio, eggs! Accio, eggs!”

“Accio, egg!” Ava cried out, the last egg flying into her free arm. “Let’s go!”

The cave begins to shake violently as the entrance begins to open once again.

“Let’s go, come on! Em, swim ahead!” Ava called, slightly struggling.

As the four began to swim towards the entrance, Eric winced. “I’m an idiot- I’m sorry-”

Ava sighed and grabbed his arm. “I’ll punch you in the throat later, but right now, let’s go!”

“It’s fine, Eric! Now’s not the time for grudges or apologies!” Em shouted.

They all swim quickly, but suddenly Ava stops abruptly. “My shoulder,” she winces.

“Ava!”

The mermaid swims up and wraps her shoulder with the seaweed like Em’s from before. “I know you don’t trust me right now, but here. Take this.”

“I’d say we have a right,” Eric growled.

“You’re the dumb one who fell for it-”

Ava held out her hand for the mermaid to shut up, then turned to Eric. “The Occamy hurt me earlier- just Eric, we will hold onto you, and you perform ascendio, alright?”

“We need to hurry!”

“Of course.” Eric offered his free hand, and allowed Ava to take it. With his wand, he pointed upwards. “Perhaps in a different life, I hope you regret this,” he spoke to the mermaid before shouting, “Ascendio!”

Only bubbles appeared from his wand and Eric couldn’t help but have tears spring into his eyes. Nothing he was doing was right…

“You have no time,” The mermaid mutters before hauling the four on her back. “Let’s go.”

She swam upward so quickly, that it had felt like no time at all. Suddenly the four champions flew onto the ground, coughing and groaning. Hearing the voice of Headmistress call out, “You have successfully retrieved all 4 eggs, with thirty seconds to spare. Congratulations.”

Eric was launched to the ground, and coughed, pulling himself up and shaking the water from his hair before pulling the other three girls in for an embrace. “Thank god-”

Em hugged back and was breathing heavily, but Ava pushed Eric away. “Save it, jerk.”

“I’m sorry,” was all Eric could say.

Em frowned. “”It’s not your fault, Eric I fell for it too.”

As they all grabbed their eggs, Eric grinned. “Egg cracking anyone?”

“I’m down to crack your skull,” Ava smirked, holding her egg tightly.

“Bring it, princess,” Eric said, grinning.

“Sod off, Eric.”

The four opened their eggs and received their item for their next challenge. Eric admired his egg quietly, the silver shining beneath his hands. It almost felt calming to just touch it.

After about fifteen minutes of bantering and bickering between Ava and Eric, finally Em had sighed. “Ava, let’s go to the hospital wing, please!”

Ava grinned and nodded, latching herself to Em’s arm. “Yeah let’s go, see you around, loser.”

As they walked away, Eric watched them peacefully, hearing Em say: “You two are going to get married.”

He watched Ava swat her and shout, “Don’t ever say that again!”

Eric then rose and made his way towards the entrance of Hogwarts. His heart was racing, and he felt like an absolute idiot. Why did he even try? Aside from the fact of his parents- he didn’t like letting anyone else down either.

Scratching his neck, he thought about how Ava suddenly hated him. Was it because he was a Gryffindor? He could never tell, but he knew she had some issues she needed to clear up. Laughing he shook his head. That would be settled another day.

[mostlyfrukheadcannons]

Welp I’ve written a spoken word poetry style brotherly usuk fic! To clarify, I got nothing against usuk shippers. 

But yea, I like the idea of two of them as bros, that support each other, through their crazy love lives, and their crazy life-life’s

And its inspired by Sarah Kay and Philip Kaye’s spoken word poem An Origin Story. Cos writings about friendship are so underrated!

You can also read it on A03

Enjoy~!

Title: Friends Fall in Love with each other Sometimes (**Platonically**)

Arthur: 

Here’s a toast! [raises glass]

Alfred:

Here’s a toast! [takes a PB&J from the inside of his coat] [Arthur eye-rolls]

Together:

To the both of us — !

Alfred:

And a vow, very solemn...

Arthur:

For better and for worse...

Alfred:

In the crazy wreck of life….we’ve found each other...

Arthur:

And in each other, one of the most wonderful things that can be found in life…….

 …...In me you’ve found…a friend

Alfred:

Someone who will dash over to the bar when you’re piss drunk — to pick you up, and send you home safe

Arthur:

Someone who will put up with all the pop songs you play, and all your ridiculous memey balderdash

Alfred:

Someone who will actually listen to you go on and on about 15th century literature, only because I know you care about it!

Arthur:

Right back at you, regarding comic books, and whatever nation walked past us that was “totally a hot piece of ass”

Alfred:

though bitterness and sorrow and madfests and shitshows, I promise and I swear...

Arthur:

…...if you need me, I’ll be there...

Alfred:

When I'm in trouble, I know you’ll swoop by. And be my hero —

…...Even though…...I’m no longer the Robin to your brooding Batman...because I’ve stepped out of your shadow.

And dang has that caused so many rifts and tensions between us…... 

But it's not all that bad. I know that if I need you I can reach you — even if the bat-signal is broken…...

Because I already know your secret identity. Your darkest nightmares. Your most crippling traumas. Your tears and your resolve. You don't have anything you need to hide from me, because I know you...and I know that your secret hideout will always have a place for me...

Cos we’re still, as ever, the dynamic duo

And here's a special offer, eh? I’ll generously reprise my old role as Robin for you, on the special occasion where you need Robin…...to be…...YOUR WINGMAN...aha...aha...get it?

Arthur:

Psssh, lame

And I’ll always remember that you’re boy-scout Clarke Kent, even when you take off the glasses, and put on the supersuit.

Count on me, always, to step on your cape when you’re about to take off — when what you really need — is to get your hero head out of the clouds, and your all-too-human feet back on earthy ground

I’ll tell you without hesitation — when your actions make the ‘S’ emblazoned on your chest stand for ‘Stupid’ rather than ‘Super’.

And no holds barred, I’ll say it to you straight, when part of your superhero costume…... reaaaaally looks like red underwear…...and you’re speeding off to impress Lois Lane

And I promise, I will never, ever, be afraid of you — and your superpowers. Because in my eyes, you’ll always be my brother. I’ll never carry kryptonite on me, as a guarantee for my own safety. Cos I know I can count on your kindness and your integrity...and that's more powerful...

Alfred:

If someone bursts your bubble, I’ll whip out my bubble gun and blast them away, like Team Rocket

Arthur: 

You’re strong enough to lift loads of weights at the gym. And I’m certainly stubborn enough to try lift any weight off your shoulders

Alfred:

And when the going gets tough and you’ve feelin’ the heat,

Arthur:

but you insist on handling it on your own

Alfred:  

I’ll know when you’re being stubborn, and drag you out of there, no matter how badly you kick and scream for me to let go…...

Arthur:

…...Because I’ve seen you make coffee……

Alfred:

......And I’ve seen you make tea…...

Arthur: 

…...So  I know when the heat makes people and drinks stronger…

Alfred:

Or just plain bitter

Arthur:

And if the latter happens I'll throw in some chocolate, marshmallows, or caramel into your drink of choice...and the flavours your life

Alfred:

Add in a sugar cube, some creamer, or even cinnamon to spice things up!

Together:

With the power of caffeine, we’ll be unstoppable!

Arthur:

And of course I’ll see you through the crazy adventure that is searching for true love in life

Alfred:

I’ll encourage you, seriously, to ask your crush out

With the classic proverb that hey……

Even GOOGLE had to ask to be your default browser for the first time

Arthur:

And I won't judge you for poring over your crush’s texts for hours

In fact, I’ll dissect them with you

I've interpreted Beowulf and scrutinised Bridget Jones

a couple of texts from your potential bae is nothing!

Alfred: 

And I solemnly swear to tell you the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the Truth

…….when you’re trying to freshen up for a date….....

And you ask me how'dya look......well......

Don’t worry I'll help you look cool —

my pomade, my leather jackets, and my badass motorbike...are free for your use! 

Arthur:

And if you already look cool, and are trying to freshen up for a date —

My…...err…...extensive collection of romantic poems...the highlight of which is…...18th Century English Romantic Poet Keats….is…yours…along...with...my...well...wishes???

  But also…………

…...if the one you love, is not the one who loves you...

And it becomes such that you start to say

“Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the ugliest of them all”

And see through the mirror, that the answer is you

I’ll trace my finger over what you think is the misshapen lump of your face

And draw out your every feature that stands out bold and proud:

That shine in your eye that could warm the sun

Your beaming smile that dares the world entire with a note of kindness

And your “double chin” — for god’s sake you don’t have it

in fact the way you hold it up suggests strength and athleticism— which I will remind you social convention finds very attractive

And anyway whoever falls in love, with you, will find a way to be enamoured your every other facial flaw

Because love is NOT a mirror, it sees the world through a completely different kind of lens, that distorts things, in the favour of you, the cherished

That’s not even to mention how I as your friend, already think that you’re beautiful just the way you are

Alfred:

And every time, your crush looks away, and hurts you in ways that he doesn’t even know

When you start to think it’s because you’re not enough, and not even worthy of true love

I’ll tell you all about the times I fell in love with you, as a friend, platonically

That moment when you took my breath away, by showing up at my work desk, with a toasted golden-brown marshmallow chocolate-sauce pizza, when I was starving after six hours of non-stop work

That look in your eye, when you listened to me, all through the night, blabber about my horrible insecurities, ugly jealousies, and nonsensical fears

And that patience, when you put cold spoons over my eyes — to stop them from swelling — and soothed me in the toilet as I cried, hiding away from the rest of the world, in the middle of a World meeting, and I was so ashamed

So how can you believe, that you are any less worthy, of beauty and of grace? Put a smile back on your face!

  But hey now, you’ve found your SO,

and I’ll keep a lookout for if he’s an asshole.

If he is, I'll deliver him a painful blow.

For you, mah man, my best bro

Arthur:

And now that you've decided that he's the one, Shakespeare’ll have nothing on the shovel talk I give your bae

Alfred:

But even then, I’ll still need you to stand by me, to watch my back, and help me with the little-big things in life

Arthur:

Well I can’t hang the stars in the sky for you, but I’ll make sure you hang your laundry

Alfred:

I’ll always share with you the cool things I find on the internet, the cat vids and the touching stories

Arthur:

You’re not Snow White or Sleeping Beauty —

and I’m certainly no Prince Charming either

I won’t wake you with a kiss to your lips.

But like hell I’ll let you oversleep and be late for world meetings

Alfred:

Throw away your ouija board, you don’t need to stress and obsess over predicting every trouble in your future.

Cos you’ve got me. And for you, I’ll raise demons and hell

Arthur:

Don't toss your coins into the fountain — toss ‘em to me

I’ll save them up for you — for a rainy day — and one day you’ll thank me  

Alfred:

If you’re tearing your hair out, cos you’re about to be checkmated in chess

I’ll help you turn the tables on your opponent...literally.

As the chess pieces scatter across the floor, I’ll remind you that there's a real world out there, beyond the chessboard.

Even if your fellow chess competitors don't see it......

Arthur:

If you grin too cockily while looking through your telescope,

thinking that you’ve already got the stars,

I’ll flip your telescope the other way round,

so you'll look through the tiny end,

and see another world where the stars are further than they actually are,

to get a heart-attack,

that shocks you back into perspective

Alfred:

And hey, I know, I won't always give you the right answers to life,

but at least like Siri, I'm programmed to listen

Arthur:  

I’ll won’t ever settle for just being your compass in life.

I’ll be more like your Google Maps and 4G 

tracking you each step of the way, until you reach your destination,

even if my signal gets a little spotty sometimes

Alfred:

And whenever I’m having a snack,  I’ll always snap my kit-kats and kinder-buenos in half,

cos half of it will always be for you.

Arthur:

What I call crisps, but you call potato chips —

even if I’ve eaten through most of the bag in a wild binge

and am down to that one last hyper-addictive handful  —

if you need it because you’re stressed —

then those crisps I will gladly give to you

Alfred:

 And the TLDR; is basically, as the classic song goes: ~If you wanna be my lover, ya gotta get with

my friends, make it last forever, friendship never ends~ [from SPICE girls]

Arthur:

And as the annoying Swiftie beside me would also like to sing — the two of us

Alfred:

We’ll never go out of style! We’ll never go out of style!

Arthur:

Because there were so many before us, before our days — their footsteps echo down to us, to show and light the way!

Alfred:

I’m talking ‘bout Ash and Pikachu

Arthur:

Sherlock and Watson

Alfred:

 Spongebob and Patrick

Arthur:

Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee

Alfred:

Susan B Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Arthur:

Peter Pan and Tinkerbelle

Alfred:

Capt’n Kirk and Spock

Arthur:

the Doctor and his Tardis

Alfred:

Charlotte the Spider and Wilbur the Pig

Arthur:

J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis

Alfred:

Cookies ‘n Cream!

Arthur:

Jam ‘n Scones!

Arthur:

Sophie and the BFG

Alfred:

Elliot and E.T.

Alfred:

Together, we boys got chemistry! We’re unstoppable! — And even if we aren't —

Arthur:

~with a little help from our friends~ [from The Beetles]

Together:

We’ll be O.K.!

[reapers-carino]

You should totally write a short thing with the "your lips are really warm" prompt for the junkers and Ava~ (is it Ava right omg if I got that wrong -hides-)

((Anon, omg anon I love you. Thank you for requesting this. It is def Ava who is with the Junkers. Thank you for requesting this))

‘We are definitely not in Oz anymore…’

“Come on darl ‘urry it up!”

Ava’s shoulders jumped as her attention suddenly snapped back to Junkrat, the tall, lanky Junker bouncing from boot to peg impatiently. Ava’s hands hovered, brow furrowing in concentration as she tried to figure what to do with the rest of the thick, bright glittery orange scarf. It had already been wrapped around Jamie’s shoulders twice but still hung towards his waist. She worried her bottom lip between her teeth, humming quietly in contemplation before twisting and turning the scarf in various directions before pulling her hands back cautiously.

“I think I got it”, the petite woman exclaimed, patting the giant balled knot she had created gingerly. Stepping back to examine her handiwork, Ava gave an approving nod as she looked the Junker over. He was bundled up tightly if not mismatched; a neon purple puffy coat, the orange scarf, and a pair of baby blue sweatpants that was tucked into his left boot and rolled up to right above his prosthetic. Underneath, she knew there were several more layers of clothing piled on top of the jittery demolitionist, the both of them needing all the layers possibly to make up for their lack of body fat. Nodding once more, Ava awarded him with a wide grin and a giddy giggle, bouncing on the balls of her booted feet. “Isn’t everyday that we get to see ice fall from the frickin’ sky, right?”

Snow. Mako and Ava had learned about the non-native weather when they were young, before the omnium explosion, before things had went even further down the shitter after the Omnic Crisis. Back when there was a ‘normal’. Junkrat wasn’t as fortunate, the man only receiving the education of Junkerdom with a self-taught major in pyrotechnics and explosives. He had been lucky enough to have been taught how to read, a skill scarce in the Outback amongst the youngest of survivors living in the Junkertowns. But they weren’t in Australia anymore, finally freed of the irradiated desert they had called home.

Luck had shined on all of them when Ava had procured three premium cruise tickets, using a pretty chunk of change from Junkrat’s and Roadhog’s former heists. Damn near forty thousand bucks, falsified identities, additional hush money, and the occasional knocked out busybody but they had made it off of Australia, seen Polynesia, stopped off in Hawaii, went to bloody fricking Disneyland before finally landing and disembarking in Vancouver. It had been exciting crossing into the Northern Hemisphere and being told that the seasons were officially flip flopped, summer turning to winter the further north the ship sailed. It was nonsensical, illogical to the three of them that an imaginary line could simply change things like that, Junkrat tittering about it endlessly. The three warm-blooded Australian natives were less excited with the cooler weather that assaulted them, Ava and Junkrat especially so with their lithe frames. Still, neither one of the slimmer Junkers was complaining when they had woken that morning and been awarded with large, fluffy snowflakes falling from the sky.

The two younger Junkers had scrambled out of bed, pulling on every bit and piece of clothing they could find, squealing and jumping up and down excitedly. Mako watched both of them mirthfully, their energy charming but not contagious, the larger man waving his hand at them when they both had tried to ask him to tag along. ‘He’d join you later.’ As with Jamison, matching was the furthest thing from Ava’s mind. The petite woman had yanked on a pair of thermal black leggings and pulled rainbow tiedye leggings on top of that, Mickey’s face peeking just over the edge of her black boots.  Her jacket was a fluffy, fuzzy light pink monstrosity and hung to her mid thighs, a deep green scarf wrapped around her neck and chin and ears. Her hazel eyes were bright and glittering with excitement, cheeks flushed pink from being so tightly bundled up in the warm safehouse.

“Ready?”

Ava’s voice had gone soft, bouncing on her the balls of her feet eagerly, another new adventure making her feel keen. This whole trip had been exhilarating and pants shittingly terrifying all at once, the ‘lull’ of Junker living completely different from the way life was lived in the ‘real world’. Even Mako and her had agreed that the world had changed so drastically from when they were kids, before the war. New technology greeted them at every turn, the rise of a new Omnic rights movement and international organizations focused on ‘altruism without warfare’; the rise of good for goodness sake and all that fake shite. But some things were steadfast. Conglomerates suffocating the poor for their last dime, actual innocents like kids and babes being yanked into terrorist or criminal situations, governments relying on generalized ambivalence to get away with crimes against humanity. The new mixed with the old in a intimate yet unfamiliar ways, only further encouraging the crime sprees they went on. They would take this new world by storm together.

“‘Course sweets”, he exclaimed, grabbing her hand and lacing his metal fingers with her own, his own citrine eyes were alight with wonder. Never in his twenty-five years of life on this planet had he ever seen as much as he had when they had left on the boat.

He thought he had seen nice shit when he went to Sydney for the first time, but it didn’t compare with seeing a ‘bloody fucking whale’ or eating food from every continent until he was sick (despite Roadie’s warning) or getting seeing all the different kinds of fires and explosions the world ‘deemed acceptable’. It had been heaven for his constantly racing mind, the world if just for a moment, rivaling the constant storm that brewed between his ears.

“Let’s go!”

Jamison took the lead at Ava’s shout, the both of them giggling as they threw open the door. The weather was ridiculously serene, nothing like the intense wind storms or radioactive acid rain showers that devastated the Outback. It was cold and quiet and insanely peaceful that pre-dawn morning. The air was full of snowflakes drifting and collecting wherever they fell, the world covered in brilliant, glittering white; the rental cabin tucked in the woods creating the perfect picturesque scene.

“Hooley dooley…”

Ava took the first tentative step, her black boot sinking effortlessly into several inches of powdery snow at their doorstep. Her face turned up to Junkrat, eyes round with wonder, her wide, excited gap-toothed grin splitting across her face. The petite five foot woman dashed forward, Jamison stumbling behind her, laughing, his long legs easily catching up with her shorter ones as they ventured further into the snow depths. They watched the tracks their feet and his peg leg made, purposefully disturbing the snow and kicking it high into the air. Ava’s face turned up to the sky, eyes shutting as snowflakes caught on her lashes and cheeks and forehead. Jamison followed suite, his head tilted back, tongue stuck straight out. Snowflakes melted as soon as they landed on his tongue, the Junker smacking his lips approvingly at the cool, fresh taste.

“S’like that shaved ice”, he said matter-of-factly before squatting down and scooping a handful of cold substance into his mouth with his metal hand. Ava’s eyes dropped to watch him as he swished it back and forth before giving her a thumbs up as he swallowed. Ava squats next to him, head tilting to the side apprehensively, her own fingers pressing into the snow that was gathered on the ground. “S’good Gadge! Needs that sweet milk! Think we got any inside? Think Roadie’ll take us into town for some? Maybe we can go ta that boba place too! Ya think they recognize us?”

“This stuff is weird”, she analyzed aloud as he continued talking, picking up a handful but looking at it instead of eating it. She crushed it, a fascinated giggle bubbling from her lips as it made a melty mold of the inside of her hand. The cold burned at her fingers but intrigue held away the creeping pain, the two Junkers suddenly enraptured with gathering as much snow into a pile as possible. A distant memory tickled the back of her mind; a childhood Christmas special, friend and family built–.”Jamie! Let’s build a snowman!”

“Whassat?”

Ava spent the next few minutes stumbling over her words, hands gesticulating her words as she tried to explain making something she had only seen in cartoons. It took several more moments for her to figure out how to start forming a base snowball and soon the two of them were making snowman-esque versions of themselves. Ava’s break in between building grew longer and longer, Junkrat’s body burning a lot hotter than hers ever did, the youngest Junker still not feeling the frigid burn of the cold. But Ava did. She stopped for a moment, shaking her hands, whining quietly as she kneaded at her fingers for a moment.

“Needta get real gloves”, she muttered, more to herself than Jamison, who was now watching her. They all fancied fingerless gloves, each of them owning dozens of different kinds that ranged from functional to aesthetic. The vibrant purple fabric was plum-colored, completely soaked with snow, the fabric clinging tight to her palms. She peeled the fabric off of her hands, stuffing them into her pockets and shaking her hands vigorously again. Her skin was angry and pink, Jamison’s eyes look it over suspiciously before darting out with both of his hand to grab them. “Jamie?”

“Give em here darl”, Jamison said simply, holding her wrists for a second to examine them. He was careful, his movement tender as he used his flesh hand to massage some warmth back into the appendage. When that didn’t seem to move fast enough he leaned forward and started to blow on your fingers, his lips kissing your fingertips. You shivered, not from cold but enchantment, beginning to giggle with each kiss he pressed, his eyes lighting up mischievously.

A shrill shout of amusement filled the air, as Junkrat double downed on the kissing, moving between both hands and nipping lightly at the skin of her palms. Ava’s fingers curled but the way he held her hands prevented them from closing all the way, his lips dancing over the back of her hands too.

“Face is a bit cold too ain’t it darl?”

His manic titter filled the air as, Ava jumping as the cold of his prosthetic touched her face, the touch soon forgotten as his lips suddenly covered her cold flushed skin in kisses. His lips and hands, just like the rest of him was so damned warm. Warmth bloomed everywhere a kiss landed, Ava’s skin heating underneath his lovey-dovey ministration, her body warming as his arms wrapped around her coated waist. His giggles began to mix with hers, his kisses getting more focused as he several to her freckled forehead then cheeks then nose before pushing the scarf down. He froze, his wild yellow eyes connecting with her dazzling light brown ones, shyness creeping into them both.

Mako was fortunate, his formative years over and done with by the time everything had gone completely wrong. He was more confident than the two of them; self-assured, independent. Ava was ridiculously anxious and self-conscious, Jamison paranoid and untrusting of all those around him. Falling in love wasn’t unheard of among Junkers, but betrayals were as common as sand was plentiful; it had originally left all three constantly wary, waiting for the others inevitable treachery. Trial by fire had taught them all that they would have one another’s back, that they could and would work for and with one another. That was almost scarier in a way. Finding not one but two people who loved each of them unconditionally felt staggering; sweet timidity bubbling up at what felt like absurd luck. To love and be loved, to protect and be protected, to trust and be trusted; that was better and wilder and more fucking beautiful than anything they had stolen in the world.

Ava’s tongue darted out to wet her cold lips, her smile large and sweet.

“Your lips”, she started, eyes darting down for a moment before lifting back to his face, lifting onto her tiptoes, still just out of reach of the six foot man hovering over her. His wild brow arched at her words, curiosity burning bright in his eyes.  “Are really really really warm Jamie…”

His lopsided grin filled Ava’s inside with a million fireworks in her core, his giggle softer, more intimate somehow. Jamison leaned the rest of the way down, pressing his lips hard to hers, both of their eyes slipping closed. They hummed against one another’s lips in bliss, several small pecks turning into a deeper, loving kiss. Electricity shocked up and down their spines and through each of their lips, stars dancing behind their eyes as they wordlessly communicated just how much they loved one another. Giddiness, excitement, happiness boiled inside of the both of them, the heated, passionate liplock interrupted by breathless, whiny giggles.

“Rat, Gadge.”

The both of them jumped, their giggles turning into full  laughs, like teenagers that had just gotten caught making out. Breaking away with one last searing peck, Jamison and Ava turned to see Mako standing in the doorway staring down at them. It didn’t appear that he was going to be venturing out; dressed in the same loose black sweatpants and pastel pink shirt with a flying pig on the front. Grunting, he tilted his head towards the cabin, silently ordering them back into the cabin. He held a large blue comforter in his hands, the smell of food wafting out of the house temptingly.

“Make out inside”, he teased, a growling laugh rumbling in his throat. “Got breakfast ready, come warm up before ya get sick.”

“Okay!”

“Whatcha make, Hog?”

The two younger Junkers laced hands, walking back to the house together; the promise of food and warmth and cuddles with the Hog drawing them back inside. They could live like this for a little bit long; normal, idyllic and in love. 

[zacknano17]

Day 3: words 5092 - 7633

In which, Taako makes a friend.  (No, he doesn’t.)

“You can put 'em in the corner over there,” Taako says, gesturing.  He's sitting on the bed, paging through the room service catalog, not really paying Magnus any mind.

Magnus does so, and he thinks he ought to leave the room now.  Instead, he pauses.  “You're not still mad about me not wanting to think we were a thing, are you?” he asks.

“Nah, homie.”  Taako still isn't looking at him.  “We're not a thing, so why would I be mad?  I just didn't like the implication that I'm an undatable hellion.”

“You're -- what?  No.  That isn't what I meant!”

“Yeah, I got that.”  Taako doesn't sound angry, but he does seem a little miffed.  “It's fine, dude.  I ain't even mad.”

“I'm sure you could get like a hundred people to agree to marry you, just by giving them a little glance.  You're like, the prettiest elf in the world.”

Taako pushes his hat up a little bit, an almost subconscious motion. There's only the smallest change in his expression, but Magnus can tell he's improved Taako's mood a little.  “Top five percent, I'd say,” he agrees.  “Really, though, don't worry about it, big guy. Ch'boy's not exactly the marrying type either.”

“Oh.” Magnus is.  Was.

Taako's eyes focus on Magnus' hand for a moment, and he adds, “...anymore?”

Magnus runs his thumb over the groove in his ring finger absently.  So Taako had noticed.

He never really intended to keep Julia a secret.  He just doesn't really relish the idea of talking about her.  He had lost her a few years ago now, but it still feels like an open wound on his heart.  Talking about her, thinking about her, all of that -- it is still painful.

“Yeah. I, uh.  She died,” he says.

He can almost see the light bulb go on over Taako's head.  “Julia,” he says.

Oh, shit.  Does he talk in his sleep or something?  “How did you -- ”

“You asked Kravitz to tell Julia you loved her,” Taako explains, shrugging.  “I was thinking sister at the time for some reason.  I guess wife would make as much sense.”

For as dumb as Taako pretends to be sometimes, he sure is good at putting things together.

Magnus sits down on the bed next to Taako.  “I used to be a carpenter,” he explains, knotting his fingers together.  “I had a mentor, and he had a daughter.  Julia.  Then the, ah, the village got attacked while I was gone once, and when I came back, I...didn't have either of them anymore.”

Taako is quiet for a long moment.  “...sucks, dude,” he says.

Magnus laughs.  It's not a happy laugh, just a sort of rueful sound, acknowledging the truth in Taako's words.  “Yeah,” he agrees.

They sit in silence for a moment, and Magnus thinks again that he ought to leave.  He doesn't.  Instead, he asks, “What about you?  You could have anybody you wanted, probably, but I don't see you go on many dates.”

“Eh, been out of the dating scene for a while.  My last relationship ended...bad,” Taako says.  “I haven't been real eager to jump aboard that train again.  There's a lot of trust issues with that sort of shit.  Namely, I don't trust anybody.”

“I can see that being a problem, yeah,” Magnus agrees.  “You don't even trust me and Merle?”

“Hell no,” Taako replies emphatically.  “Everybody up and leaves eventually.  It's just the way things are.  You either get left behind, or you're the one who leaves.  No way around it, homie.”

“You really think I'm gonna just up and leave you behind someday?” Magnus asks.

Taako gives him a look.  Magnus isn't sure what emotion is meant to be conveyed by it.  He looks irritated, but there's another part of him that just looks...very old and withered.  “You're a human.  You've got like, what, a hundred years left?” he asks.

“Well, uh, no, more like fifty, actually,” Magnus says, but he gets the point.  Sometimes he forgets that Taako is well over a hundred years old.

Taako stands up and makes his way over to the suitcases, very clearly done with the conversation, and drags it over to the bed.  “I guess with the asshole brigade backing me up, we're going to be staying a while, huh?” he comments as he opens it up.  “Might as well unpack.”

It's a dismissal if Magnus ever heard one, and he's not sure how much more of Taako's depressing world view he can stomach right now anyway, so he stands up.  His thumb rubs away at that groove on his ring finger again, and he considers.

“You know, if I had known I was going to lose Julia so soon...I think I'd have held on more tightly,” he says.

“Yeah,” Taako says flippantly, “cause you're an idiot.”

In spite of being a current hot spot for aspiring spouses all over Faerun, the building that houses Wedding Wonders is modest and in a rather obscure location.  The three of them have had no trouble finding it, however.  It seems as though everyone knows where it is and how to get there, even people who would seem to have no use for a wedding planner.

Wedding Wonders is run out of a large, old fashioned house just off the business district of Waterdeep.  Ms. Joiner works and lives in the same building, it seems; she has not bothered to move to a more convenient location, although she surely has the means to do so, with how well her business is doing.

The people of Waterdeep are more than happy to spread rumors about the business and its proprietor.  They learn quickly that Ms. Joiner has so many clients that she has to turn down people frequently.  There seems to be no rhyme or reason how she picks her patrons.  Oftentimes wealthy families will offer her higher payments and other benefits, and she will turn them down in favor of a poorer couple without any explanation.

Upon further discussion, the Tres Horny Boys have decided that Merle's job hunt bluff is as good a story as any.  The only other idea they have come up with involves a lot of stealth, and none of them are really looking forward to trying that one, even the Ruff Boi and Level 2 Rogue himself, Magnus Burnsides.

Taako's last job interview had involved getting punched so hard by an ogre that he had nearly died.  He hopes that this one will be less strenuous.

He has dressed for the occasion in purples and blues, with a flowing skirt that reaches his ankles and a loose, translucent blouse over a form fitting long sleeved black shirt, and silver pumps with three inch heels.  He fancies up his hair with some elaborate braiding techniques that Magnus is very good at for some reason and puts on his best set of silver jewelry.  He looks positively dashing. Too bad he has to hide it a bit by using the umbra staff, this time as a sunbrella.  It is still not a great idea to get recognized.

Merle is wearing a Fantasy Hawaiian t-shirt with a small stain right in the front that isn't quite hidden by his beard.  He is wearing what he calls “capris,” but look as though they are actually just a pair of Magnus' old cargo shorts that have been repurposed for dwarf legs.  He is wearing socks with sandals.  This is his normal look.  The only difference between this and their trip to Goldcliffe is that he has his X-treme Teen Bible in hand rather than tucked away safely in his pack until it is needed.

Magnus is wearing the same thing he wore yesterday, unless he packed an identical outfit.  He has buttoned an extra button at the top, for...respectability, maybe?  He is even carrying his shield and axe still, and Steven bumps along at his hip.  Charming.

They reach the old house and Taako leads the way within, the umbra staff now doubling as a very fancy cane.  The front door leads into a room that seems to have been repurposed from a sitting room.  The room is papered in a lovely rose decal, garnished by heavy velvet curtains that block view of the adjoining rooms.  The floor is a dark wood, covered by a large, tasseled rug. The walls display pictures in heavy golden frames of various couples in formal clothing, presumably couples that have been married through the Wedding Wonders company.

At the far end of the room is an intricately carved wooden desk, stained a dark color to match the floor.  It is covered in neat stacks of paper, a few books, an ink well, and a large feather quill.  Behind the desk sits the fanciest orcish man Taako has ever seen, complete with neatly combed hair, a neat suit jacket and tie, and a pince-nez on his nose, attached to his vest pocket with a slender golden chain.

He stands up from the desk when he sees the three of them enter in.  He is easily seven feet tall and makes even Magnus look very small. “Greetings, and welcome to Wedding Wonders,” he says, his voice thick with a pleasant accent that Taako can't quite place.  “My name is Salvatore.  How might I assist you today?”

“Hello, darling, a pleasure to meet you,” Taako rattles off.  This orc seems to be dripping with his very brand of fake charm, and he appreciates that.  “My name is Taako -- you might recognize me from TV -- and we're here to offer you a once in a lifetime premium offer. That's right, my good man, I am offering you the chance to have my fabulous self -- and these two imbeciles as well, I suppose -- help you staff the newly anticipated expansion to your lovely business.

“As I mentioned, you may already recognize me from my show?  On TV?  You know the one.  I'm absolutely certain I could bring in a number of promising clientele.  Your quaint little business here fills a very specific niche, but one our society didn't know needed filling.  And I am proposing you open up a branch in -- wait for it -- Neverwinter.  That's right, the capital of the world. My man, Wedding Wonders is going places, and I, Taako, plan to take you there.

“Now, could you be a dear and let Ms. Jer -- J...um, the lady in charge here?”

“Ms. Joiner,” Salvatore says.

“Yes, yes.  Of course.  You'll have to excuse me, I meet so many people.  Ms. Joiner.  If you could just let her know I'm here to see her?  Me, Taako, from TV?  Thank you, sweetheart.  I'll wait right here.”

Salvatore has not changed his mild, politely interested expression through the entire speech.  He merely inclines his head slightly when Taako finishes.  “We here at Wedding Wonders do sincerely appreciate your enthusiasm,” he says, “but I'm afraid Ms. Joiner only meets with potential business partners by appointment.  Even ones as undoubtedly important as you are, good sir.”

“I think you might be underestimating how much Ms. J is going to want to -- ”

“Furthermore, sir, I know of no such plans to expand the business.  As much as the 'niche' we fill requires that filling, Ms. Joiner can hardly take on more clients than she already does.  As it is, people travel from all over Faerun for our services, and another branch, even one in a lucrative location such as Neverwinter, would only serve to disappoint the many, many clients we cannot accommodate.”

“I'm sorry, perhaps I didn't make myself clear, but I'm Taako?  You know, from -- ”

“And it is fantastic to meet you in person, sir, but I'm afraid you will have to schedule an appointment, like everyone else,” Salvatore continues.  He sits down again at the desk and pulls out a book labeled 'Appointments.' He flips through it, and continues to flip, and continues for a few moments.  “Here we are, we have an opening for three months from now, in -- ”

Taako slams a hand down on the book.  “Taako.  From TV.  I want an appointment this afternoon.  Make it happen.”  He will not be outdone by this fucker.  He will not.

“If you give me your Stone of Farspeech frequency, I can alert you if we have an opening this afternoon, but I'm very sorry.  Ms. Joiner won't even return to the office until -- ”

“I will wait, then.”

“Very well, sir.”  Salvatore closes the appointment book and goes back to the stack of papers he had been regarding when the three of them had entered.

“Um, excuse me, sir -- ” Magnus tries.

“Shut it, Mango, I've got this,” Taako snaps.  “Listen.  My good man. My entourage here and I will need a place to...rest until the Lady J-dawg makes it back from her...whatever she's doing, at which time you'll of course let her know I'm here.  Do you have a sitting room or something?”

Taako feels a rush of satisfaction as he notices that the orc's eyebrow is twitching, just a little.  At fucking last, he is finally getting to this guy.

“Yes, of course,” Salvatore says, standing again.  “Right this way, gentlemen.”

He leads the three of them to one of the curtained off rooms and pulls back the drape.  Within is a sitting room, fancy as the rest of the house that they had seen thus far.  It contains two uncomfortable looking sofas facing one another with a low coffee table in between and two chairs on the far end, all matching.  The walls here have more portraits with more couples at their weddings.

“Feel free to make yourselves comfortable.  We do not offer a tea service or anything, I'm afraid,” Salvatore says, gesturing into the room.

“Barbarians,” Taako mutters under his breath as he glides within.  He has the satisfaction of seeing that eyebrow twitch yet again.  Now it's personal, Salvatore.

“Fat load of good that did us,” Merle grumbles in a stage whisper, once Salvatore is out of direct hearing distance.

“Yeah. I mean, that was some nice fast talking there, Taako, but there's no way he's actually going to tell us when she gets back,” Magnus says, sitting down on one of the sofas.

“Exactly,” Taako remarks.  He settles down demurely in one of the chairs, crossing his ankle over his knee.  “We learned two things here today.  First of all, the big lady in charge isn't currently in the building, which means right now might be an optimal time to scope out the place.”

“Oooh, sounds like a job for Mr. Level 2 Stealthy here,” Merle suggests.

“That's good and all, but that Salvatore guy is still out front,” Magnus points out.  “That dude's even more stacked than I am, which is sayin' something.  How'm I gonna get past him?”

“Oh, I'm sure I can distract him,” Taako snorts.

“Okay, okay, this sounds pretty good.  I can help Taako out a bit too, buy Magnus some time,” Merle says.  “But there's just one thing. What's the second thing?  You said we learned two things.”

Taako shrugs.  “Guys, I don't think they're hiring.”