#Leonidas Kaine Tripp

[astracora]

Scared

Characters: Leonidas x Nikkou x Cailean

Warnings: Past Abuse Mention, Hurt/Comfort

Word Count: 922

Written: 28th September 2020

Leonidas couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt comfort like this.

Fingers tracing the patterns of the tattoos on his back.

Hands brushing through his hair and over his ears.

Two heartbeats pressed against him.

He knew eventually he’d need to wake up and disturb a perfect moment, that he’d have to pull away from the heat of being wrapped between two people. He knew that… but it didn’t have to be yet.

"What are you frowning at babe?"

He looked up at Nikkou, who had a sleepy but satisfied smirk on their face. The feline ran their hand from Leon’s hair and cupped his cheek, smoothing over his markings. He felt himself smile and turned his face to kiss their palm, "I didn’t mean to frown."

Cailean tightened his arms around Leon’s waist, grumbling something neither of them could make out against the back of the leopard’s neck.

"If we could hear you, love, we’d happily answer."

The selkie grumbled again, pulling himself up to peer at them both through messy, tangled hair, "Why are you frowning?" He looked irritable at having to speak, but the worry in his eyes belied it. A fear that he would never dare speak.

Waiting to be told something was wrong.

Leon felt his cheeks warm and sat up, pulling himself out of their arms just enough so he could see them both. He watched Cai straighten up, exhausted and sleepy but sitting back on his haunches to watch Leon. Like he might bolt.

Nikkou reached over and took his hand, rubbing a thumb over the back of Cai’s hand, to calm the bristling along his back. "You are far more docile after sex, aren’t you?"

With a growl the selkie turned his eyes to Leon, opting to ignore the nekomata in favour of watching Leon rub at his arm.

"I… Didn’t mean to. I suppose I’m scared."

The two looked at each other and then back at the man, Cai’s head tilting, and Nikkou kept his expression neutral. "Scared of what Petal?"

Scared of so many things. Scared of attachment. Scared of being broken again. Scared of being hurt. Scared of not being enough… Scared to let someone down. Scared. He’d never known success, or love. Not really.

It had taken a long time to overcome what his ex had done to him. Yet that little nagging voice at the back of his head still made him worry.

What if it was him? What if he was the problem?

He voiced it, voice trembling and words shaking. Fragile like they were made of glass already broken.

They knew what had happened, they knew that he’d started to overcome that fear. Scars didn’t just disappear though, and the weight they’d left was still a palpable one he would likely always fight with.

Cai was the first to move, his face carved into a frustrated scowl as he edged over the bed and wrapped his arms around Leon’s waist, burying his head into his side. "It’s scary." Both Nikkou and Leon froze, looking down at the man. He was blinking and fighting a yawn, arms tight, his blue-green eyes staring up at Leon.

He opened his mouth again, this time speaking louder, not muffled against warm skin, "It’s scary, to be vulnerable around others. Scary to think they might hurt you. Maybe they will, but if you’re happy right now, it’s worth it right?"

Leon reached down, forcing his hands out of fists and running his fingers through Cai’s hair, hearing a low grumble of approval from the half asleep man.

He really was more honest when he was tired.

Nikkou chuckled, eyes crinkling as they watched the two, "He’s not wrong. There nothing wrong with being scared, as long as it doesn’t tie you down." They crawled back up to the head of the bed, lying down and rather ungracefully pulling Leonidas’ back against their chest, wrapping their legs around his, "After all, that’d be my job right?"

They watched with amusement as heat crept up the leopard’s cheeks, and a deep blush coloured Cai’s disgruntled face, who had now been left back on the empty side of the bed.

"Come here Sulky." Nikkou called out, stretching out their hands to tug Cai’s.

He let himself be pulled into Leon’s chest, Nikkou’s hand drifting patterns down his back. "Not… sulky…" He managed between a yawn, burying his face against Leon, "Happy…" It was seconds after that, that the two watched Cai fall asleep. Gentle snores and small breath dusting against Leon’s heart.

He leaned his head back against Nikkou’s as they both watched the Selkie slumber. Spent and comfortable.

"Hear that? He’s happy." Nikkou lilted, pressing a kiss to Leon’s forehead.

He laughed, very softly, holding back so he didn’t jolt him, "Happy…" He was happy, beyond happy. He was safe, comfortable and loved.

Even if he was scared, even if the more he loved, the more scared he was… he knew that the happiness was worth it.

"So am I." Leon whispered, letting his eyes drift shut as he felt Nikkou tracing patterns on his skin.

He distinctly felt the nekomata smile against his skin, could have sworn he heard them laugh, and definitely fell asleep as they whispered words into the night.

"I love you."

[astracora]

Character Exploration - Leonidas

Characters: Leonidas

Warnings: None

Word Count: 192

Written: 20th January 2021

Leonidas wants to say he prefers the quiet of the library, and he does enjoy it. It's peaceful, it's relaxed and he can read any number of poems in the darkness of the building. Whispering the lines like secrets into the air, imagining for a moment that he is reciting them for another.

He loves the smell of old books, the dim lighting, the flowers he decorates the room with.

He loves so very much about his space. Carved out for him alone by the creator of the Hotel.

Yet...

In those quiet moments, when the book ends, and his whispering ceases... those are the moments the loneliness creeps into his bones and sends discomfort down his back.

When the loneliness reminds him that he is unloved and unloveable, as the cursed rose curved over his skin digs its thorns into his flesh.

A monster, to be forgotten and lost. Hidden in the shadows, surrounded by books, so that he might never hurt another person.

He thinks about what that voice tells him, over and over again. Before picking up another book of poems, and drowning it out.

With prose and yearning.