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not-playable-character · 4 years ago

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Edit: new link https://archiveofourown.org/works/32099263

ITS DONE!!!! Finally, the RE8 meets RE7 fic is finished and posted! so for everyone wondering and if you didn't figure it out already. The image I posted earlier is the seating arrangement of the gang as they play the game. As always its posted on AO3 and under the cut. I hope you enjoy @ibest14 I never actually played RE7 but I watched a walkthrough to write this.

It was a normal Saturday afternoon when the Winters family got a very strange package. It was addressed to the whole family and had no return address.

“What the heck is this?” Rose wondered aloud carrying the small package inside, “Hey mom! Did you order something online?”

“Not that I remember, why?” Mia asked curious why her daughter was asking about the mail, “Who is it addressed to? Maybe your dad ordered something.” She went and stood next to Rose to look at the package.

“Hmm, I think we should wait for dad to get home to open it, I mean it is addressed to all of us.” Mia agreed with her daughter and went to continue making dinner.

Ethan got home a few hours later and was greeted by his daughter with a warm hug, “Haha, hey there kid how was your day?” He asked returning the hug and picking Rose up.

“It was good! We got a weird package in the mail, mom and I decided to wait for you before opening it.” Rose said leading him into the kitchen after he put her down.

“Welcome home, Hon! How was work?” Mia asked kissing Ethan on the cheek.

“Ugh, Williams was an absolute pain again. He somehow unplugged all of his equipment and disconnected his computer from the ethernet cable again.” Ethan complained sitting down at the dinner table next to Rose. “Chris somehow changed his computer to Arabic and Sal’s computer was changed to have wingdings as the default language and it bricked the whole thing, he said it was an accident, but I think it was one of the dicks that keep harassing him. I told Chris and he’s looking into it.” Ethan picked up the package and looked at the outside.

“Ugh why can’t these douchebags see that Sal is way better than them. Probably just jealous of him.” Rose said frustrated at the harassment her uncle was receiving.

“We should invite him over for dinner sometime, lift his spirits some!” Mia suggested placing a glass of juice down for Ethan. He agreed and thanked her for the juice.

Ethan handed the package back to Rose who tore into the packaging. Inside was a video game box, “Resident Evil? Isn’t that a game from the nineties?” Rose asked confused.

Ethan leaned over to get a better look, “Yeah it is, I played almost all of them, but I’ve never seen that one. It looks like its supposed to be the seventh one, but they only made six that I know of.” Ethan became confused taking the box from Rose studying it, it strangely didn’t have a back cover.

“Weird, maybe they are rebooting the series, but why wouldn’t there be a lot of news about it?” Rose asked. Ethan’s face lit up at the possibility of a reboot of his favorite childhood series.

“Man, I hope so, I always loved Craig Bluemarsh and Leo C. Harrison. They were the best! The whole M.O.O.N.S squad from Badger City. Special Ops turned paranormal investigators was the twist of the decade! And the whole thing with Egbert Walberk and how he possessed himself with countless demons to become basically a god.” Ethan sighs as he reminisces.

“You clearly have bad taste honey because Julie Easter was the best character in the series. The ace of the M.O.O.N.S squad, the one that Walberk kidnapped to force demons into her with a mind control amulet. Oh, and don’t forget Chloe Bluemarsh, college kid turned aid worker for those affected by the demons.” Mia added as she chopped vegetables for dinner.

“Ahh yes, how could I forget! Anyway, this looks like a cheap bootleg or fake. Probably just a prank from Dani or Angie.” Ethan said tossing the case further on the table looking upset.

“Aw man…. That’s lame dad.” Rose says dramatically throwing herself over the back of the chair. “I’m keeping it anyway; the box looks cool.”

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A month after the whole package incident, Rose bursts into the house beaming. “Dad, Uncle Chris just told me that we are having a meeting with the whole gang! We should totally bring that janky game we got and show it off!”

“Whoa, slow down Rose! You’re gonna hurt yourself running around like that.” Ethan says watching his daughter bounce in place. “Why do you think we should bring that thing anyway? I doubt there will be anytime to just sit around and play a game, if it’s even real.” Rose rolls her eyes at him.

“Dad, I’m sure Uncle Chris can pull some strings so we can have a little get together. We never get to see each other all at once!” Rose states, putting on her best puppy dog eyes, “Don’t you want to see the gang, Dad. It would be so much fun. You know how much I miss them all.” She begs.

Ethan can physically feel his resolve crumbling at his begging daughter, always caving into her once she pulls out the puppy eyes, “Fine, I’ll talk with Chris and we can bring the game with us, but you are responsible for the PlayStation and if it gets damaged or broken you have to buy the new one.” He says in his dad voice, trying to be stern. Rose squeals and jumps into his arms hugging him.

“You’re the best dad ever!” She says running off to prepare for their long weekend at Blue Umbrella.

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“Ok, is everyone comfy, I’m about to start the game!” Rose said excitedly setting up the PS4 in the Blue Umbrella lounge room. Everyone was present, Rose even convinced Miranda and Elena to join them after Milena was put to bed.

“I am unsure of what we are even doing sweet thing.” Alcina said settling into her chair near Donna.

“Well, I’m gonna play this weird game I got, maybe Dani can take over if I get tired. We are just gonna check it out, if its good, Great! If not, we can make fun of how bad it is!” Rose explained sitting down on the couch wedged between Daniela, Angie, and Heisenberg with Bela and Cassandra on the floor in front of them. Alcina wasn’t convinced that it would be fun, but she couldn’t deny Rose’s request considering how excited she looked. She sighed and pulled out her reading glasses seeing the small text on the screen.

“Psh, what are you a grandma?” Heisenberg teased. Alcina growled at him.

“Oh, please grow up you child.” She replied trying to de-escalate the situation knowing Rose and her daughters hated when they argued.

“I see making your head bigger didn’t help your eyesight.” He continued to tease sensing her anger.

“I grew proportionally you ignoramus, becoming larger would not fix my farsightedness.” She growled out becoming angrier.

“Guys….” Rose said sadly at the two arguing. Heisenberg immediately stopped his next sentence and turned to give Rose a side hug.

“Sorry kiddo, I forgot you hate it when we fight. I’ll stop, I promise.” He says sincerely as Alcina nods looking guilty, Rose smiles accepting their apologies.

“No more sappiness get to the action I’m getting bored!” Angie cried out from Daniela’s lap. Rose rolls her eyes at the doll’s bratty attitude and begins the game.

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The game begins with a very familiar video to Ethan and Mia and the sight of Mia recording her warning message on the ship.

“What the…. How is this happening? It showed the recording from my eyes, but I never recorded that…” Mia says stunned.

The next scene starts with the sound of a phone ringing and the overhead video of a car driving down a highway. Ethan begins to speak to and unknown man in the voice over explaining how he was contacted by Mia and that she wants him to come and get her.

“This has to be a sick prank! How did these people get that phone call!” Ethan shouts getting more and more upset as the clip plays. Mia places a hand on his arm to comfort him.

“Maybe there will be an explanation later. There has to be….” Mia says trying to calm Ethan.

Rose pauses the game as it shifts to Ethan’s perspective in the car, “We don’t have to keep playing if this is making you guys uncomfortable.” She says to her parents.

Ethan takes a deep breath, “No, no… it’s fine, you were really excited for this. I was just shocked. I’m okay to keep going, as long as you are okay too Mia.” She nods in agreement with her husband clearly rattled but pushing through. Rose nods continuing the game as she walks Ethan through the thick Louisiana swamp towards the Baker house.

The first obstacle they encounter is a locked gate. She moves him down a path leading to a trashed car with camera equipment scattered around it. Looking in they find a scrip proposal for Sewer Gators Ep. 17.

They then come across a broken gate with a sign that says, “Accept Her Gift”, “Oh yeah definitely just walk through that incredibly ominous gate into the disgusting swamp.” Heisenberg says gesturing towards the screen, “I’d just say, ‘sorry lady I’m not that desperate for a wife’ and dip.”

“He has a point dad, I mean really its been three years. Just move on.” Rose says to her father.

Ethan blushes, “Hey you can’t judge a man in love. I had to know what happened.”

“Nah man, just accept the death bro. Totally not worth it.” Daniela says interjecting.

“I’m right her you know.” Mia says scolding them. Rose giggles and continues on. They come across the remains of a fire with Mia’s purse laying there. They then enter the Guest house finding it to be disgusting and in disrepair.

“God, I forgot how gross this place was.” Ethan says wrinkling his nose.

Rose looks around the living room area, finding a hidden chain that opens a hidden room they go through. Exploring further leads them into a flooded basement they are forced to crawl through.

“Oh, please Ethan, I know you are insanely stubborn but the corpse in the flooded basement should have been an indicator to leave immediately.” Alcina says as the dead body floats up in front of them.

“Ok, Ok I get it I’m a crazy person for going on, but can we please stop commenting on it. I’m aware of the insanity.” Ethan replies as Rose comes up into a basement room with a jail cell containing Mia as well as other information on people who were listed as turned or dead. They pick up the bolt cutters and break open Mia’s cell. While they are being reunited Mia acts strangely warning him of the dangers and of Daddy.

“Pft, seriously? Daddy?” Dani snickers at Mia.

“Don’t start. I was possessed by a child obsessed with family.” Mia says glaring at Dani.

Rose follows Mia through the basement where she and Ethan stop to talk about the last three years.

“Come on! This is a life or death situation, get a move on!” Cassandra yells out at the screen.

Rose continues to creep through the basement following Mia as Ethan learning more about her capture as they walk. They come across a living room type area where Mia starts to act strangely, talking about family and when Ethan leaves, they hear her crash through the wall revealing a staircase to the house. They move through the house looking for Mia. They hear crashing coming from the stairs they came from and return to find Mia on all fours crawling up the stairs. She attacks Ethan looking monstrous as she throws him back up with superhuman strength. She then attacks him with a knife stabbing him through the hand. After a struggle she regains control rambling about a strange her as she slams her head against the wall.

“Jesus man, that is hard core…” Heisenberg says in awe. Mia grimaces at the memory. Rose continues on wandering before they are attacked by Mia once again. They fight her off with an axe. “Ethan, my friend, you always have to double check that your enemy is dead. She is definitely gonna get up again, classic horror trope.” Heisenberg says wisely.

“Karl, this actually happened. I wasn’t thinking about ‘horror tropes’. I was focusing on surviving.” Ethan says to him.

“Also, of course I’m going to get up, I’m sitting right here. I’m clearly not dead.” Mia says exasperated.

Rose moves on with the game ignoring them and answers the phone that had begun to ring. “Dad why did you answer the phone? Just leave.” She says as Zoe gives her warning to Ethan. “Oh yeah let’s listen to the random phone lady and not just break a window.” She says rolling her eyes.

They move on solving the puzzle for the stairs catching a glimpse of the not at all dead Mia. Replacing the fuse, they are jumped by Mia again who attacks him with a screwdriver pinning him to the wall before chopping his had off with a chainsaw.

“My god man! How did you keep going!” Sal exclaims looking at Ethan who just shrugs.

They find a pistol in one of the rooms and use it to take care of the attacking Mia as she rants crazily. Finally taking her down, they are ambushed by Jack Baker who punches him in the face.

“See I told you that you should have moved faster, now ‘Daddy’ caught you.” Cass says as Ethan falls over and is stomped on by Jack. They see him being dragged and Mia being carried by Jack, the scene changes to Ethan strapped to a chair with Zoe staples his hand back on. He finally fully awakes to a disgusting family dinner with the whole Baker family.

“Ugh, I miss Momma’s cooking so much.” Mia says reminiscing happily. Everyone stares at her as they see the disgusting meal on the table in game. She blushes, “Before she went fully crazy, she was an amazing cook. Her gumbo was to die for, oh and Daddy’s fried chicken, mmm.” She explains to them. No one seems convinced as the scene continues with Lucas throwing food at him and Marguerite tries to get Ethan to eat, and Jack cuts off Lucas’ hand. Jack comes over and forces the rancid food into Ethan’s face as Marguerite rants and leaves angrily, Jack then cuts Ethan’s face before being interrupted by the doorbell. They escape and flee through the house trying to find an exit. They find a key and are chased by Jack before escaping to the crawlspace.

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They explore the house before a police officer tries to ask Ethan questions.

“Man, that officer is kind of a dick…” Heisenberg says realizing how rude and unprofessional the officer is.

“He was a massive dick.” Ethan says frustrated at the memory of their interactions. They make the way to the garage to meet the rude officer who refuses to take the situation seriously which leads to his death and Ethan’s continued entrapment. “See, massive dick, we could have escaped, but noooo.” He says.

Rose nods in agreement as she avoids Jack in the garage and tries to defeat him with the car. The car crashes and catches fire revealing an on fire Jack who is knocked down by the resulting explosion. They collect the items in the room before climbing up the revealed ladder. Jack stops Ethan and shoots himself in the head with Ethan’s gun.

“I’ll say it again, he ain’t dead. He’s coming back sooner or later.” Heisenberg says again.

“Yeah, no shit Sherlock. This game’s been full of tropes so far.” Cassandra responds to him rolling her eyes.

Rose continues on solving puzzles and making their way through the labyrinthine house avoiding the obviously not dead Jack and the molded that are scattered around the house. They see Jack mumbling to himself about being “her” and talking about how he is going to kill Ethan.

“God he’s so cool.” Dani says as he leaves the room getting looks from the others, “What? He’s a cool villain.”

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The fight with Jack was a bit of a struggle for Rose, but she made it through with Heisenberg, Dani, and Cass cheering her on.

When he finally exploded, both Heisenberg and Dani called out in joy, “Now that’s how you kill a villain!” Heisenberg shouted out with a laugh and high fived Dani over Rose’s head. As they make their way through the house again completing puzzles and finding Grandma in random places.

“She is the one who caused all this.” Alcina says pointing at Grandma. Ethan and Mia looks shocked.

“How did you know that?” Mia asks. Alcina scoffs as if it is obvious.

“She hasn’t had the focus at all, yet she appears at random seemingly following Ethan, who we know is the next victim in mind. She is clearly Eveline.” She says smugly to everyone’s shocked faces.

Rose moved on ignoring the gloating. She came across a trailer in the yard, exploring it revealed that it was Zoe’s home containing some useful items that she ignored moving to leave as the phone rang. Zoe explained about the mold and how to progress.

“Why are you so trusting of this woman, you don’t know her, and she has admitted that she is a part of the family trying to kill you?” Bela asked turning to face Ethan. He opened his mouth to answer but nothing came out, he paused thinking and shrugged. Bela rolled her eyes at him, “Typical man thing.” She mumbled out returning to her original position.

They move on to the old house and Marguerite just as Zoe instructed. Coming across baby dolls strung up from the rafters of the bridge. “Whoever made those should be killed.” Donna said quietly. Everyone looked at her confused. “The look like such poor quality dolls, anyone who cares would never let them fall apart so easily. Cheap plastic is the worst fate a doll can experience.” She explains confident.

“You aren’t upset at the fact that they are strung up, just that they suck?” Rose asks her.

“Of course, you can do what you like with them, but the craft must be respected. These cheap factory made ones are a disgrace.” Donna explains upset at the virtual dolls. Rose mumbles an ok before moving on into the bug infested old house. They make their way through the house avoiding mutant bugs and solving puzzles.

“Gotta say girls, these things really remind me of you three.” Heisenberg says as Rose burns her way through the nests of bugs.

“How dare you compare my girls to these disgusting things! They are clearly superior in every way.” Alcina says angrily defending her girls.

“Thank you, mother, but he has a bit of a point.” Bela says to her mother with Cassandra nodding in agreement.

“Momma has a point though too! We are better than those things!” Dani says beaming at her mother. Cass mumbles suck up under her breath and is smacked by Dani.

Soon after they find Mia in game again, she explains her amnesia and is taken away by Lucas. Not being able to help they continue on through the house again. Eventually they are found by Marguerite who begins to stalk them through the house attacking them with her swarm of insects, insane rants, and vulgar obscenities.

“This lady is something else…” Heisenberg says cringing at Marguerite.

“For once we agree on something Karl.” Alcina agrees cringing as well. The others nod in agreement with them.

They make their way through a secret passageway revealed by the spider shadow puzzle. The wall space was infested which had everyone cringing at the writhing masses of centipedes. They collect the crank and the crow key and try to enter Marguerite’s room before she throws him down the stairs and through the floor. After a short encounter, she falls into the hole and melts into black goo. They collect information on the D series pieces and Zoe calls again, and she mentions they only need the arm piece as she has the D series head. They return to the hole to see the goo gone and a long spindly arm take the lantern needed to progress. They follow the monstrosity to well in front of the old house returning to Zoe’s trailer. They return to a new section of the old house where they are attacked by a mutated spider like Marguerite.

They run around the house, avoiding her swarms and attacks while burning her with the flamethrower and peppering her with shotgun shots to the disgusting nest on her lower half.

“I take it back; you girls are way more similar to the bug lady.” Heisenberg says once she finally dies. Alcina slaps the back of his head and growls at him.

“Momma can we mutate like that too!” Dani says excitedly as Bela and Cass cringe.

“Absolutely not. Do not even think about trying.” Alcina scolds while Heisenberg and Rose chuckle at them.

“Why would anyone want to have a gross bug vagina?” Cassandra turns around asking her sister.

Dani shrugs, “I don’t know, I just think it would be neat.” Rose shoves the controller into Dani’s hands and takes Angie from her.

“No more bug talk, you play, I’m getting tired.” Rose says stretching.

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They find their way into Eveline’s secret room and collect the arm. They go to meet Zoe in her trailer only to find that no one is there. They answer a call from Lucas where he tells Ethan that he has both Zoe and Mia, and that Ethan needs to play his game to save them and get the head. They make their way back to the main house’s dissection room where they pull the snake key out of the dead deputy’s neck hole. Lucas’ voice come out through a speaker explaining they need to find two keycards so they can meet.

“Ohhh, I love this guy! I’m getting so many ideas for new games, hehehe!” Angie says excitedly bouncing in Rose’s lap. Donna glares at the doll chastising her through their mental link. Angie pouts at the scolding.

They make their way through the increasingly molded main house solving Lucas’ puzzles and dodging the molded shambling around. They find the blue keycard and make their way down into a secret room containing the red keycard. Lucas calls again at the phone in the main hall, leading Ethan to a party in the barn.

They enter the barn to thumping music and glowing paint under a black light. They come across a room with a television showing Lucas ranting and waving the D series head around, ranting about how he doesn’t want to give up his gift and that they can only get the serum from him before the television explodes. They make their way through the barn avoiding trip mines and coming up to a locked gate with a passcode. Lucas makes an appearance taunting Ethan and giving him incorrect passwords before a trap springs and a secret door opens up.

They wind through the barn avoiding the traps and taking out the molded arriving at Lucas’ arena where they fight off a giant molded. After the fight they find the correct passcode to enter the birthday room. They solve his puzzles and escape through the hole created by the dynamite. They see a television with Zoe and Mia, Zoe explains where they are before Lucas cuts the camera to himself ranting about nothing. They collect the D series head and leave the barn making their way to Zoe and Mia. They release Zoe and Mia before collecting the completed serum. Just after they are ambushed by a fully mutated Jack.

“Wait he isn’t dead?! I can’t believe I didn’t call it!” Heisenberg calls out as Dani fights Jack.

After a long grueling fight, taking out Jacks many swollen eyes and using one of the two serums to calcify him at Zoe’s request. Walking down the pier they are faced with a choice to cure either Zoe or Mia.

“Well clearly we are supposed to cure mom. Its what dad did in real life.” Rose says.

“True, I did. I did feel bad though, Chris ended up saving Zoe and her uncle, so it all ended up good.” Ethan says.

“Yeah, sure choosing Mia is what really happened but what if we chose Zoe?” Dani asks hovering over Zoe in game.

“No! We can do it later right now we are choosing mom.” Rose says sternly.

“Fiiiiinnnnnee.” Dani whines out giving Mia the serum. They take the raft down the river listening to Ethan and Mia talk about the situation before they come across the wrecked boat Mia and Eveline arrived on. They are attacked by the mold, and they switch to Mia’s perspective as they hear Eveline speak to her through their mental connection.

“Well, this is going to be interesting, I’ve never seen this before.” Ethan says as they move into the ship. They find an unconscious Ethan who is taken by the mold deeper into the ship. They move through the mold infested ship as Mia, getting flashbacks as they move on. They follow the phantom Eveline to a room containing a television where they watch a video tape that blends into them playing through the situation leading to the crash of the ship and the infection of the Baker family.

They see Mia’s partner Alan who explains he is the reason Eveline escaped he explains that she needs to fix his mess and they begin to track Eveline through the ship. They finally come across Eveline in the engine room before she runs off again. They find Alan again in the room next to the one where they started the video tape. As he explains that Eveline is deteriorating, he insults her, and she overtakes him with the mold. The mold then spreads to Mia infecting her. They then see Mia recording the warning video from the beginning of the game. The section ends with Mia being blown off the ship and floating unconscious in the water, before returning to the present with Mia and the Phantom Eveline talking. Making their way to the bridge they use the surveillance cameras to find Ethan trapped in mold in the engine room. On the way there they are impeded by the phantom Eveline and the remaining molded.

As Mia finds Ethan, the perspective swaps back to Ethan’s mind as he speaks to a sane Jack. He explains that Eveline is the cause of all the murders and kidnappings. He says that they were infected when He rescued her from the crashed tanker. Jack also explains that stopping Eveline will stop the mold. Before Ethan awakens to Eveline and Mia arguing. Mia rips him free from the mold prison and gives him the tissue sample before locking him out of the engine room urging him to kill Eveline. They continue through the bayou to a salt mine near the Baker house. They hear a military broadcast explaining a team was sent in to take down Eveline. They traverse the salt mines finding an underground lab with information on Eveline and the E series mold. They use Eveline’s tissue samples to make the E- Necrotoxin that is used to kill her permanently. As they exit the mine, Ethan sees flashes of Eveline as she sends the molded to kill him. They exit the mine into the original room Ethan found Mia in where he has a vision of Mia panicking. He continues to see visions of Mia’s attack on him and Eveline controlling her. They stab Eveline with the serum, and she reveals her true form as Grandma before melting away and mutating into a large monstrosity.

As Dani fights the massive face of Eveline, Miranda mumbles to herself, “Absolutely fascinating. How she responds to different stimuli and the delayed injection of the Necrotoxin.” Rose and Dani scream forgetting that Miranda was sitting behind them.

“Jesus Christ! What is wrong with you! You scared the living hell out of us!” Rose yells at her turning to face Miranda who has a notebook open in her lap. “What are you even doing?”

Miranda blushes at being caught, “I was taking notes on how E-001 reacted and how the family responded to the infection. It is incredibly fascinating that the whole Baker family mutated without becoming one of the shambling molded.”

“Trust me she was about to run off and work more before I stopped her.” Elena interjects into Miranda’s rambling. “Don’t worry, I won’t let her work on the Eveline project outside of simply watching videos.” Miranda’s blush deepens and she looks embarrassed at being called out by her lab assistant.

“Good, no more mind control children allowed.” Dani says rudely turning back to the screen continuing the final fight.

Ethan is thrown from the house and sees helicopters arriving at the house as he is attacked by Eveline. He uses an unknown gun to shoot Eveline calcifying and crumbling her finally. After the battle, Ethan and Mia are rescued by Chris. The final shots of the game are Ethan speaking over clips of marshlands and the reveal of the Blue Umbrella helicopter.

“Well that certainly was something….” Ethan says as the credits roll. Mia wide eyed and shocked nods in agreement.

“So, all that actually happened?” Rose asks her parents, they both nod. “Ok well that doesn’t explain how the heck this got made or why we were sent it or by who!” Rose rants.

“Who cares, it was awesome!” Dani exclaims high fiving Angie who cheers with her.

“Can we leave now? My back is beginning to hurt.” Bela complains standing up and stretching.

Rose boos her, “Fine be boring. What did everyone else think?” She asks everyone left in the room.

“Amazing! Fantastic! Ten out of ten!” Dani exclaims clinging onto Rose.

“It was interesting, very cinematic. A bit tropey at times but it works in its favor. Especially since this technically happened. The villains were enjoyable and empathetic at the same time.” Heisenberg critiques.

“Yeah, whatever it was fine.” Cass says getting up and leaving the room.

“I had quite a nice time, I’m glad you suggested this, Rose.” Alcina says picking up the sleeping Donna. “I’m sure Donna will apologize for falling asleep tomorrow morning. Have a good night.” She kisses the top of Rose and Dani’s heads and leave the room.

“It was quite informative, thank you for inviting me, Rose. I truly appreciate it. Now I must go and review my notes.” Miranda says looking at her notebook as she slowly leaves the room.

“We are actually going to bed, but thanks for inviting us, Rose. We’ll have to do it again soon!” Elena says grabbing Miranda’s arm and taking her notebook.

“I think your mom and I have some talking to do, but you guys have a good night sweetie.” Ethan says getting up before kissing Rose on the head.

“Yeah, outside of the horrifying content of this ‘game’ it was fun. Have a good night honey.” Mia says following her husband to their room.

“Alright seems like the party is dying down and someone has to get Sal to his room. Seems like he and Donna can’t stay up late like us cool kids.” Heisenberg laughs out shaking Sal awake. Sal stands up groggily and leans ion Heisenberg as they leave to their respective rooms.

“Lame everyone left. You want to stay up or are you hitting the sack too?” Dani asks Rose.

“I think I’m going to bed too. I have a lot to think about.” Rose says hugging Dani, “See you in the morning Dan.” Dani decides to follow Rose and they head to bed.

In his assigned quarters, the Duke watches the group scatter to their rooms for bed, “I’m glad they enjoyed my little gift. Hopefully, it answers some questions for them.” The Duke says to himself chuckling.

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maybeimamuppet · 3 years ago

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the blood of angry (wo)men

hey hey darling readers!! welcome back!! for a second, anyway!! this is a request fill for aspenchokey on wattpad, who requested leo and layla being with damian and one gets her period. so here it is. this also means you get to meet some more of my oc''s in the form of damian and aaron's kids. so, some basic information: they're a group of three biological siblings that they adopted. ivie is the oldest, shes 18 in this and was 13 when they were adopted, but shes just mentioned and not really in this. ellis is in the middle, hes 15 and was 10 when they were adopted. then milly (short for amelie) is the baby. shes 8 in this and was 3 when they were adopted.

tw for periods/menstruation. otherwise, please enjoy!!

“Girls!” Cady calls from the kitchen. Her twins both come barreling down the stairs to find her.

“Yeah, Mama?” Layla asks, panting slightly.

“Uncle D is going to watch you tonight, your mom and I have a-“ Cady replies.

“Date night, we know, Mama. It’s Saturday,” Leo finishes. Cady chuckles.

“We are pretty predictable, aren’t we?” She hums. “We’ll drop you off around five and be back to get you by eleven.”

“Ooh, late night,” Layla teases. Cady rolls her eyes.

“You know what we get up to,” she huffs. “Your boring old mothers.”

“Mom told us about the time she stole a sheep when you were in high school,” Leo pipes up. “What happened to that?”

“We happened,” Cady laughs. “She grew up and settled down.”

Janis comes in then, paintbrush behind her ear and carrying a mug. “Hey, gang. What are we talking about?”

“You,” Layla teases. “And how you’re old and boring now.”

“Ah,” Janis says with a knowing nod. She takes a drink of whatever’s in her mug. “Oh, that’s the paint water, what-ugh!”

“Jay,” Cady huffs around a laugh. “Maybe you haven’t settled down. Why do you never look at things before you drink them?”

“I like to live on the edge,” Janis responds, wiping her tongue off on a paper towel.

“We’re in our forties now, you should probably step back from that edge,” Cady giggles as she hands her some juice to rinse the taste from her mouth. “Goofy.”

Janis thankfully takes the offered beverage and chugs it, then wraps her wife in a hug. “Thank you.”

“Of course, my love,” Cady chuckles, turning around and pulling her wife in for a kiss. The twins both exclaim in disgust and run back upstairs. “You still taste like paint, go brush your teeth.”

“Okay,” Janis pouts.

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“Layla! Leo!” The twins’ cousin, Milly, yells as she runs to greet them.

“Let them breathe, Mills,” Damian chides gently as his nieces are squished in a tight hug by his youngest child. Milly moves onto her aunties, so Damian takes his turn to tackle the twins.

“Hey, Uncle D,” Leo says, sounding a little choked as she’s wrapped in a tight hug. It’s what they’ve come to expect after thirteen years of knowing him. Janis eventually pries him off her daughters for her turn, and Cady joins in.

Layla and Leo head into the living room as Milly drags them along. Aaron is there playing a video game with his son, Ellis.

“Ellie!” Layla yells teasingly, running to tackle her cousin. Ellis has roughly four seconds to scramble to put his controller down and get into a safe position before she lands on him with a dull thud.

“I hate you so much,” he grumbles. “Hey.”

“Whatcha playing?” Layla asks, yelping as Leo drags her off to allow her cousin some personal space.

“Fifa,” Ellis says once he’s got his hair back to its properly ruffled state.

“Ooh, can I play?” Layla asks. Aaron hands his controller over. “Hehe. I’m gonna kick your ass.”

“Hey!” Cady and Janis both call at the same time. Layla shrinks into herself.

“Sorry, moms,” she mumbles. Cady raises an eyebrow at Janis, who also shrinks into herself. They both know she’s the reason why their twins know every curse word in the dictionary. “Sorry El.”

“It’s fine,” Ellis chuckles. “I’ll kick your butt first.”

Layla snaps to attention and goes to work trying to beat her cousin. Aaron comes to join his husband and friends for a chat while Milly drags Leo to the backyard to do dances.

After a nice, but long, conversation, Cady and Janis kiss their twins goodbye and head out. Damian and Aaron are now left alone with four children. Oh boy.

————

Leo teaches Milly bits of her routines until sunset, at which point they’re called inside. Both of them are sweaty and frizzy-haired and immediately head to the kitchen to chug down water.

Leo plops down next to her sister and leans in, covering her twin in sweat. Layla shoves her away with a groan.

“Ew, Leo! Gross!”

“Like you don’t do it to me,” Leo retaliates. “What happened to kicking his butt?”

“I’ve never played this before!” Layla says.

“You played soccer for, like, five years, how is a video game of it that different?” Leo teases. Ellis tugs Leo down to the floor by an ankle to stop their bickering. She yelps and thumps to the ground beside him. “Ow!”

“You’re a gymnast, don’t you fall all the time?” Ellis teases.

“Yeah, on my face, usually,” Leo grumbles, rubbing her sore bum. She notices red on her hand when she shifts positions. Oh, hell.

————-

“Where did Leo run off to?” Aaron asks as he comes back into the room.

“I dunno, she just ran upstairs,” Ellis shrugs. “She was fine before, I don’t know what happened.”

“I’ll go check on her,” Layla says. “Here, Uncle Aaron.”

“Thanks, squirt,” Aaron says, taking the controller back from his niece and getting back into the game.

“Lolo? Where did you go?” Layla calls as she heads up the stairs to find her twin.

Nothing.

“Hey!” Layla yelps as a hand suddenly snatches her arm and hauls her into the bathroom. “Leo, what-“

“We have a situation,” Leo hisses.

“Okay, you couldn’t just tell me that? Where have you been?” Layla grumbles. “What do you want, dummy?”

“I’ve been in here,” Leo murmurs. “It… happened.”

“What?”

“It,” Leo says again, sharper. Layla’s eyes go wide.

“Ohhhh,” she says. “That’s… fine, you know? Mom and Mama told us about this, they said not to be embarrassed. It’s natural, Lolo.”

“Yeah, but there’s nothing to use. Our backpacks are at home and there’s nothing here,” Leo huffs. “I think Ivie took all her stuff with her to college. I don’t want to get blood all over the place.”

“Oh yeah,” Layla agrees. “Should I go ask Uncle D to buy some?”

“No!”

“Why not? You need something,” Layla huffs. “Or are you just gonna hide in here until Mom and Mama come get us?”

“I don’t want him to know,” Leo grumbles. “It’s… it’s embarrassing.”

“You’re literally doing the opposite of what Mom and Mama said to do,” Layla says. “Uncle D, like, changed our diapers and stuff. He has two daughters, and one of them definitely already has her period. He’s not gonna care or judge you for needing stuff.”

“Yeah, I know, but-“ Leo begins, getting cut off by a knock on the door.

“Ladies, is everything good? You’ve been in there a while,” Damian asks through the door. “We’re gonna watch a movie soon.”

The twins frantically gesture to one another, having a conversation without words. Layla wants to tell him, Leo doesn’t. Layla wins.

She checks to make sure everything important is covered to protect her twin’s privacy and then opens the door. Damian pokes his head in with his eyes closed.

“What’s up?” He asks.

“Japan is invading,” Leo grumbles.

“What?”

“Satan’s sacrificial waterfall,” Leo tries again.

“Oh,” Damian says. “Oh my gosh! Aww, honey! You guys are growing up quick, holy shit.”

“Why did you get that one?” Layla asks.“That’s what your mom called it when we were in high school,” Damian explains. “And college. Living together was rough those weeks.”

The twins both giggle a bit, imagining their mom clinging to Damian and whining at him. It’s nothing they haven’t seen before, but imagining them younger is fun.

“Oh, we don’t have anything here, do we?” Damian suddenly realizes. “Shit. Which one of you is it? Both?”

“Just her,” Layla teases. “But yeah, she needs stuff.”

Damian thwacks her on the head gently. “It’s gonna happen to you, soon, be nice. Leo, honey, why don’t you take a shower? I’m gonna take your darling twin to go buy you some stuff you’ll need.”

“Did I get blood anywhere?” Leo asks anxiously as Damian hands her a few soft towels.

“I didn’t see any,” Damian shrugs. “If you did it’s not a big deal, after being married to your uncle for twelve years I know how to get stains out of everything. Speaking of, give Layla anything that got stained, we’ll wash that for you.”

“Okay,” Leo murmurs. “Thanks, Uncle D.”

“Of course, honey. You relax, everything’s good,” Damian comforts, hauling Layla back out of the bathroom and shutting the door. “Darling?”

Aaron pops his head out from the kitchen and looks at them as they walk downstairs. “Yeah, babe?”

“I’m taking Layla out for a while, do you have dinner plans yet?” Damian asks.

“No, why?” Aaron asks as Damian follows him back to the kitchen. He spies the slightly stained shorts in Layla’s hands. “Ah. Got it.”

Layla looks between them in confusion. “What?”

“We’re having spaghetti and meatballs tonight,” Aaron says.

“Okay, how did you-what did-“ Layla stutters.

“Both your moms always crave carbs and red meat when they’re on their periods, it’ll probably be the same for you two. You learn stuff quick when you live with two ladies,” Damian shrugs.

“Daddy, can I come?” Milly asks. “Please? I’m done with chores.”

“Of course, Froggy,” Damian says, grinning as his daughter squeals and runs off to find some shoes. “El, do you want to come?”

“Where are you going?” Ellis asks.“Just the convenience store, probably,” Damian says. Ellis shakes his head and goes back to his video game. “Alrighty. Let’s go!”

————-

“Layla, do you know what brand your moms bought you guys?” Damian asks once they’re in the right aisle.

“No,” Layla says. “Does it really matter? They all look the same.”

“I guess it doesn’t matter all that much,” Damian shrugs. “But they are different sizes, so we’ll have to read them first.”

“These ones are pretty,” Milly says, pointing to a box.

“Those are tampons, honey, we need pads,” Damian says. “Your moms should do tampons with you, that’s not… my area of expertise.”

“What’s a tampon?” Milly asks.

“Um… it’s kind of like a pad, but it goes inside,” Damian says. Milly pulls a face and runs away from the box. “You have a few years left, kiddo. You have time to learn.”

“It’s gonna happen to me too?” Milly huffs.“Yep. Every month until you’re about fifty,” Damian responds with a ruffle to her hair.

“What the hell?!” Milly yells. “That’s not fair! Daddy, can’t I just be a boy like you?”

Damian and Layla both bite their lips to hold back a laugh at Milly’s reaction. Damian doesn’t even scold her for swearing.

“Do you actually want to be a boy or do you just not want a period?” Layla asks helpfully. “You don’t have to be a boy to not get one. My mom takes medicine to stop hers because it bugs her so much.”

“Oh,” Milly says. “I’ll do that. I like being a girl.”

Layla hugs her from behind and continues browsing. “This kind look familiar, I think this is what Mama got us.”

Damian grabs grabs the box and reads over it. “Sounds good to me.” He tosses it into their basket along with the nighttime variety in case someone gets their period during a sleepover. “Okay, this way.”

“Candy?” Layla asks in confusion when she sees what aisle they’ve been led to. “Why?”

“You have so much to learn, young one,” Damian tuts. He grabs a massive bag of chocolate and adds it to their basket too. Layla tries to peek at what kinds are inside and earns herself a gentle flick. “Not for you.”

“That’s all for Leo?!” Layla asks loudly. “No fair!”

“Do you currently have a torrent of blood escaping your body against your will?” Damian asks with a raised eyebrow. Layla shakes her head. “That’s what I thought. You’ll get your own bag when you get yours. I’ll fight off your moms to give you your first period chocolate. Just a few more things, then we can go back home.”

Damian grabs some spare undies and a lavender teddy, one that can be microwaved and used as a heating pad. Once that’s been added to the basket he lets each of the girls pick a face mask for themselves, and ones for him, Aaron, Leo, and Ellis too.

“Ooh, look!” Milly suddenly says, wandering off when she spies some miniature backpacks. “Daddy, can I get one?”

“Actually, yeah,” Damian says. “Layla, that’d be good for when you two don’t have your school backpacks, you could keep your stuff in there. You should pick one too.”

“Okay,” Layla shrugs, grabbing a purple one without much thought.

“This one can be for Leo!” Milly says happily, holding a blue one with her own pink one.

“Sounds good, Froggy,” Damian hums. “Okay, let’s go check out now.”

Once their few items have been purchased, Milly takes the receipt that’s nearly as long as she is and does a ribbon dance around the parking lot. Layla cheers her on and acts as a backup dancer until they make it back to the car.

“Crazies,” Damian says lovingly as they enter the car. “Buckle up, I need to go home and eat.”

—————

They hear the shower water shut off just as they get back. Damian sends Layla upstairs with the new undies and pads to give to Leo. Her twin opens the door to take them and then quickly shuts it again, locking it behind her. Layla is halfway back downstairs before she hears Leo call for her.

With an eye roll she turns back around. “What now?”

“I don’t have clothes,” Leo mumbles. “Mine are in the laundry.”

“Oh,” Layla says. She takes a deep breath and yells, “Uncle D!”

“What?” Damian yells back.

“Leo needs clothes!”

“Oh! Okay, one sec!” Damian calls.

“God, Layla, you’re so loud,” Leo grumbles through the door.

“It worked, I don’t see why you’re complaining,” Layla huffs back.

Damian pads his way up the stairs. “You guys can’t share with Milly anymore, can you? That growth spurt you two had. Hmm.”

He disappears to his own bedroom and comes back with some of his old sweatpants and a hoodie.

“These will have to do, Aaron’s old stuff is all in the laundry,” he says, handing them to Layla to give to her twin. “Leo, dinner’s done whenever you’re ready, honey.”

“Thanks, Uncle D,” Leo calls through the door.

“Of course,” Damian says as he heads back to everyone downstairs.

“Do you need anything else, Your Highness?” Layla grumbles.

“No, leave me alone,” Leo says back.

“Suit yourself. Love you,” Layla calls as she also heads back downstairs.

“Love you too!”

————-

Leo comes padding gently down the stairs a few minutes later. Her wet hair is loosely braided over her shoulder and she’s in her uncle’s sweats, the pants tied with a hair tie at her waist and cuffed to fit, and the sleeves of the shirt rolled up several times.

Layla watches in a mix of awe and concern as her small dancer of a twin sister wolfs down three portions of their spaghetti dinner in the same time it takes her to finish one. Leo sticks her tongue out at her when she catches her staring.

“Whoa,” Leo says when she spies the massive bag of candy and teddy bear waiting for her on the couch after dinner. “This is all for me?”

“Of course,” Damian says. “Celebrate your next forty-odd years of misery, come on.”

“Leo, look,” Milly insists, dragging her to see the teddy bear. “He smells nice and you can cook him so he gets warm!”

“Thanks, Mills,” Leo chuckles. “Did you name it yet?”

“No,” Milly murmurs. “Um… Theo!”

“I like it,” Leo nods.

“Oh, wait!” Milly yells suddenly, running to grab the backpacks they bought.

“Milly, inside voice, darling,” Aaron scolds gently. There’s not much use to it, Milly is so exuberant all the time.

“Sorry Papa,” Milly says shyly. “Here!”

Leo takes it curiously. “Thank you.”

“For when we don’t have our school bags,” Layla explains. “Mine’s purple, don’t touch it.”

Leo rolls her eyes. “Sure, like I want your stuff. Hey, that’s mine!”

Layla quickly stuffs the rest of her stolen piece of chocolate into her mouth so Leo can’t have it back. “Heh.”

“Loser,” Leo huffs.

“Settle down,” Damian chuckles, grabbing his daughter and sitting on the couch for a movie while Milly passes out the face masks. Ellis cuddles into his side, and Aaron sits by him. Leo and Layla take their usual place on the ground by everyone’s feet. Leo holds her new warm teddy bear to her cramping tummy and forces her twin to cuddle her.

————-

“Heyyy,” Cady greets as they enter the house a few hours later. Milly runs to go hug her aunties.

“Hey, Milly Billy!” Janis greets, scooping her niece up and carrying her back to the living room. “Aww.”

Her twins are both sound asleep on the floor and almost completely intertwined. She can’t totally tell where one ends and the other begins.

“Why is Leo in Damian’s clothes?” Cady asks, taking a few pictures of her daughters actually tolerating each other.

“And why is there so much chocolate?” Janis adds, setting Milly down to go back to her own family.

“Leo started her period, her stuff got stained,” Damian explains. Aaron heads to go grab said clothes from the dryer. “So we took a fun little trip to the convenience store.”

“Poor kid,” Janis hums. “I didn’t even think of that, we gave them stuff to keep in their school bags but I forgot to give them anything for when they’re… not at school.”

“She was fine, she actually handled everything pretty well,” Damian shrugs. “Did you ladies have fun?”

Cady starts giggling suddenly, and Janis pouts. “I only hit the ceiling one time!”

“Jay, we went bowling,” Cady giggles. “I still don’t know how you managed it, that ball was heavy.”

“It was one time! I beat you, anyway,” Janis grumbles.

“I let you win,” Cady retaliates. “Get our children.”

Janis carefully pries the twins apart and scoops up Layla while Cady takes all of their things. Cady carefully pecks her daughter on the forehead as Janis carries her past and giggles quietly as her nose twitches.

Janis comes back once Layla is safely in the car and grabs Leo to carry her out as well. Leo is a lighter sleeper and wakes up as she’s lifted from the ground.

“Hey, Mommy,” she yawns. Janis chuckles and kisses her forehead.

“Hey, Bee. I hear you had a big day,” she whispers back. Leo nods and cuddles into her. Cady kisses her forehead too, and her daughter grins a little. “Bye guys. Thank you for taking care of her.”

Aaron and Damian both wave as the ladies all leave. Janis puts Leo in the back by her sister and gets into her own seat to take her family home. Leo falls back asleep almost immediately, so Cady and Janis are almost alone together.

Cady looks at her when she hears a sniffle. “Mpendwa, what’s wrong?”

“They’re growing up,” Janis whispers. “Leo has her period, she’s-she’s a teenager. They both are, they’re not… they’re not my little ones anymore.”

Cady grins sadly at her and squeezes her hand. “I know. We can’t stop time. But they’ll always be our babies.”

Janis nods and squeezes her back, blinking the tears out of her eyes so she can drive safely.

—-

Janis carries the twins up to bed once they get home. When she heads back to her own bedroom, she finds her wife waiting for her with an old photo album from the twins’ first few years.

Janis rushes through changing into her pajamas and brushing her teeth to cuddle in with her wife. She and Cady stay up late, reminiscing over the photos and even farther back.

“Did you ever think when you rescued me from the bathroom that day in high school that we’d be here?” Cady asks quietly once photos have been seen and stories retold.

“I could only dream it, Sunshine,” Janis murmurs back. Cady scoffs and nudges her.

“You’re so poetic,” she chuckles. Janis rests the photo album on her nightstand and grabs her wife for their nightly cuddle session. Once the lights are off and they’re holding each other close, Cady whispers, “I’m glad we’re here.”

“I am too, baby,” Janis whispers back in between kisses. “I am too.” -

thank you for reading!! hope you enjoyed!

lots of love,

ezzy

#cadnis #paint by numbers #space safari #cady heron x janis sarkisian #cady x janis #cady heron #mean girls the musical #damian hubbard #aaron samuels #mean girls broadway #mean girls musical

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pisati · 5 years ago

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I already posted on main about it and I’ve got nowhere else to really vent. I know my co-receptionist is active on twitter and I don’t know if she’s ever tried to look for me (probably not), but I don’t want to risk complaining where she could possibly see.

it’s just been a long, shitty week. and it’s only tuesday. we had two euthanasias yesterday and two today. usually we get one TOPS in a week. most weeks we don’t have any.

I don’t know how many weeks we’ve been doing this now, but it’s definitely been over a month. I’ve worked with the lead receptionist a bunch since I started. she’s nice, but she’s very much got her own personality. she’s from new jersey, and that’s the explanation for a lot of her attitude, she says. I respect her and how well she knows herself and her boundaries. but I really feel like she could be a little nicer. I get that she’s worked in healthcare for a long time and she’s seen some shit but she acts like she knows everything and sometimes it’s just really insensitive.

I don’t think she means to sound rude, but there have been times when I’ve been talking about something and she’s only half-listening, usually because she’s working on something, and she’ll finish what she was doing and go “now what are you babbling about?” she did it to one of the techs the other day too. I know she just means to ask “what were you saying?” but it really makes me feel like whatever I’m saying is just nonsense to her, like I’m running at the mouth and whatever it is isn’t important.

we listen to what she wants to listen to. for 12 straight hours, 3 days a week, every week. according to her my music taste is respectable, but “a lot of sad-sackery”, so we listen to her music. we have limited overlap, but I don’t say anything. not because I don’t want to start an argument, I’m pretty much cool with whatever. but I’ve noticed that when we listen to what she likes, it’s often just a small handful of things she likes. I KNOW DMX has way more songs than just the same few. same with nicki minaj and beyonce. we’ve listened to some rage against the machine, which I can appreciate, but there are definitely way more songs than just killing in the name, bombtrack, take the power back, and know your enemy. I’ve listened to musical soundtracks. we did les mis and chicago and maybe a few others last week. I’ve sat there and watched videos I didn’t care to watch, because she’s really enthused about black opera singers and bruce springsteen and whomever the fuck else, because I like to think I’m a nice person and when someone is excited about something and wants to share it I let them be fucking excited about it, even if I don’t give half a flying fuck about it. today was a disney day, apparently, so I listened to soundtracks for mary poppins, the little mermaid, and beauty and the beast. sound of music too. whatever other eclectic songs tickle her fancy on any given day. but I’ve noticed it seems to just be the things she likes. I’ve come to work on disney days before but I don’t recall hearing soundtracks to more than just a few movies. I tried to get her to listen to a little hozier once or twice; since she’s a singer we often end up talking about vocal talent. and I was trying to show her what a great vocalist he is. she listened to maybe a few seconds of a song or two and, nah, not her taste. she gets why someone like me would like his voice, though. today she was laughing about something one of the techs had said; we have a whiteboard in the back hallway and every week or so someone (her, maybe?) puts up a prompt and people can write their responses. ya know, team bonding, sorta. this week she’d put up “what two famous people would you like to have dinner with?” and one of the techs had written “leo dicaprio and billie eilish”. and she was laughing about it. she’s not a fan of billie’s popular stuff. I told her about how I didn’t think I’d much like billie at first, but I listened to her whole album and I was surprised, I thought she had a really nice voice. just.. nope. I asked if I could play one song. just one. nope, nope, nope. she’d listened to half a second of each song on her album and decided she didn’t like any of them. I didn’t press.

yesterday she really just... ugh. the head vet had come up to the front desk to tell us that a really sweet client offered to buy us lunch, and did we have any ideas on what we’d like? they were thinking panera. I wasn’t sure if there was anything there I’d eat, but I’d take a look at the menu. my coworker had piped up with “she’s like super picky” and then ensued the “so what do you eat?” conversation. I didn’t really have much to say, since I’m tired of that fucking question and I don’t have such a small palate that I can just list off everything. she interrupted with “mac and cheese, I know that.” I forget what else she said, but I tried to explain that it was a sensory issue and there’s actually a disorder that involves a sensory rejection of food that lasts well into adulthood, and she was just sitting there next to me trying to hold back laughs. I asked her what was funny, she goes “it just sounds like picky eating, like it sounds so ridiculous”.

yeah, because I love being 25 and not being able to go to more than a tiny handful of restaurants with friends because those few places have one thing on the menu I’ll eat. I fucking love being too deeply embarrassed to special-order anything plain that I’d rather not eat at all. I love the “so what DO you eat” question, I love being laughed at and made fun of, I love feeling like a child who could never “grow out of it”. I really fucking love it, that’s why I continue to do this to myself. fuck’s sake.

this is the person who takes euthanasias so seriously that she’ll fuck anyone’s day up if they interrupt her while she’s getting paperwork together or if they’re being loud while the owner is in the room. she told me about her home health care work and how she dealt with a lot of people who were in hospice and she was real sympathetic to just about anything, because they were dying. I know I’m not dying, this doesn’t involve death, but the complete lack of empathy towards me just... really hurts. here I am trying to explain myself the way I always feel the need to, because I apparently have to have a fucking reason why I’m so picky, and she won’t hear any of it. she was fucking laughing at me.

I don’t feel disliked at my job, but I’m getting that feeling like I did in high school and college. like I’m both a part of something and not. I know I’m weird and a little awkward, but... she talks to people on the other team and they leave memes for each other. there’s a new girl on the other team who only started a month or two ago, but my co-receptionist is leaving memes for her specifically; the new girl even called today and she picked up, and they were having a riot of a conversation from what I could hear; a lot of genuine laughter, and I could hear the way she was talking, it sounded just so natural. a lot of the time with me she doesn’t quite sound like that. she’s got a pretty dirty sense of humor, and she was leaving some pretty gross memes for the new girl, meanwhile there was a video she’d shown the new doctor and the head vet that she didn’t want to show me because she “wasn’t sure if we were there yet”. she’d already described it to me, and she finally showed it to me today; it was just some nerdy guy singing about pussy in an 80s R&B voice. nothing I couldn’t have found somewhere on the internet myself. hell, it’s probably already floating around tumblr somewhere. idk, I don’t feel disliked but I am starting to feel left out. like, even the new people are more integrated than I am, and I’ve been there 8 months. I don’t know why this happens to me literally everywhere I go. every job, every school (except IUP somehow??), fucking everything. I just never feel like a true part of anything and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I’m not unfriendly. I don’t think I’m unapproachable. maybe I really just am that boring.

I’m just really tired of this. when she was out sick that one day last week, and I had to handle 13 straight hours of reception basically by myself, with some help from the office manager, I actually felt less tired than when she was there. I feel like I have to put on a face for her, like I have to pretend to be interested in whatever she’s going on about all day. I can’t say anything to her because she’s the lead receptionist, but it’s been getting on my nerves lately that I try to actually do work and she’s sitting there looking at memes, telling me she has to find this particular one of jason momoa so she can print it out have it at her desk because he’s just so attractive

I didn’t get a break yesterday, because our doctors were lagging so far behind and I had to keep the phones on. she left to go do something, and I was left to answer phones by myself. I almost didn’t get a break today either; there were still one or two clients left by 1pm and I couldn’t turn the phones over to the break message, and she had a thing to do with her car so she’d be back. I forget how I ended up mentioning that I didn’t get a break yesterday either and she was like “well that’s me the other times the doctors are behind. it’s your turn”. and while that is fair... one of the techs came up to talk to her after she’d left. she looked at me and was like, “where’s trish?” and I was like “... on break”. and she looked at me and I looked at her and she was like “...she’s been taking more breaks than any of us”. and I was like “yyyyep.” she goes out a few times during the day to have a cigarette too. usually when it’s quiet, but of course in the space of 10 minutes there’s a lot that can happen. often it does. thankfully today we had those last few clients out by 1:30 so I did get to clock out, and she let me stay off the clock until 2:30. but if the doctors were as behind today as they were yesterday, I’d have had no break today either.

we pretty much only ever talk about what she wants to talk about. she’s constantly interrupting me or talking over me, so I just let her talk. I’ve heard more about her wild sex life back in her 20s than I’d ever care to know. today she told a story three times (once to me, once to the head vet, and once to one of the techs) about how she can accurately guess a man’s dick size by the way he walks, and how she did this to some guy she dated in her early 20s and he was surprised by it. I don’t want to make things tense or awkward by saying I don’t want to talk about these things and I’d personally rather listen to music that keeps me calm and just quietly scan, fax, label, and attach things in between the periodic phone calls, but I can hardly get a word in edgewise anyway, so it’s mostly just me listening. she’s let me know in no uncertain terms that she doesn’t like rats and doesn’t think they’re cute; doesn’t want to see pictures of them, just.. nothing. I personally think that you can’t claim to love animals if you only love the ones you think are cute. but I don’t even know if she does. I couldn’t tell you why she’s working at a vet clinic.

it’s fucking exhausting. it’d be exhausting with alexa too, I know that for a fact. I’m getting better at my job but I still need a supervising receptionist, so either way I’d have to deal with one of the two. I’m just glad it’s only 3 days a week, but even my 4 day weekends are flying by. the days are all blending together and I’m having a hard time getting my brain to work. none of this is easy. but it definitely doesn’t help to have to work with someone who’s so rigid about everything they do; like, I spend all fucking day listening to what you have to say and listening to every single song you want to listen to and watching every stupid video you think is funny (though some of them are; other times it’s like.. something reminded her of a veggie tales episode so now we have to watch it), and I can’t even play one song I like because you’ve listened to a split second of it and automatically think you don’t like it? the fuck, dude.

just.. the way she acts like she knows everything about the way people act, and how little tolerance she has for bullshit. I appreciate that second bit, but there’s other times when she really just has no sympathy and I feel like everything would be easier if she did. yesterday our one doctor was lagging really far behind and she was getting so annoyed because he had all this time for his appointments and people were having to wait and he never caught up all day; one of the clients ended up being one who was VERY particular about estimates and payments and shit and apparently he’d fucked something up after she had told him and the tech well ahead of time to be very careful with her. and she’d about had enough of him after that. by the end of the day he looked like he was either about to cry or had been crying. and he apologized to her for fucking up; I forget exactly what he said and she accepted his apology, but it almost seemed superficial. she had had it. the second she was done with her shit for the night she left. I stayed a few extra minutes to do something, but... like, even I could tell there was more to the story there. you don’t just lag all day for no reason, and especially not when you have to start the day on a euthanasia that wasn’t expected. I get that when you’ve worked with people for so many years you end up with a low tolerance for bullshit, but come on. I’ve been dealing with shitty people my whole life but I at least understand what it’s like to have a bad day. this particular doctor, a lottttt of the staff has a problem with, for many reasons. he’s only ever been nice to me, and I don’t know a lot of what goes on that annoys reception and the techs so much (often it’s some of his medical decisions, which... I wouldn’t know anything about that. how am I supposed to know what his rationale was for prescribing meloxidyl for a rhodesian ridgeback? the owner asked me for a refill and I requested it). so I guess some people’s patience runs low with him. but even so, I don’t think I could ever lack empathy that much. no matter how long I do this shit. I was tempted to ask him if he was okay, but I figured he had a lot on his plate to get to. he was there til like 10 last night, and his worklist was really long today too. I could tell he’s been on edge since last week. it’s not my business to know why, and I don’t have to. just be fucking nice to people, lmao

for someone who’s so picky about her music taste, she’s got no fucking right to talk about my eating. she won’t even venture outside the things she likes. she decides once that she doesn’t like something and that’s the end of it. so why is it suddenly a problem when I don’t want to try a variety of foods?

I’m just. really frustrated. I don’t want to have to vent about my coworkers but I’m not going to get through this easily. we don’t even know how long we’re going to have to do this. I found out today alexa’s husband is now in the hospital; they’re treating it like COVID and/or really bad pneumonia, but what the fuck does that mean for her team? for mine? did she bring germs to the clinic? is she going to have to quarantine along with her team? is my team going to have to run shit? I have no idea, and I only found out about this through facebook. I haven’t heard anything else from anyone. we do sanitize between teams so there’s a low risk of cross-contamination, but... we don’t get everything. there’s no way to.

I need to go to bed soon. I’m so glad tomorrow’s my friday. I’m ready for this week to be over.

#ugh.

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leocentrico · 2 years ago

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Skin picker sunshine.

Donnie has a bad habit of picking his skin, and his brothers appear worried, though it seems only Mikey has the right kind of understanding. (This work does not contain Tcest, for those concerned you may read this fic at ease.)

To put it bluntly, Donnie is a skin picker. A fact the turtle estimates began sometime around the seventh year of his life, on October 2nd during that wonderful year when splinter decided that duct-taping oven mitts to his hands was a good idea. In reality, though, that wasn't the answer. The mitts were simple enough to get out of to scratch, and nothing else seemed to be able to stop him either. No matter how many times Raph lifted his hand away from his skin or Leo would bandage his body, nothing helped. One way or another, Don was constantly scratching himself. He was bound to always find a way to run his nails across his skin. The situation had gotten so bad that Don now always carried a supply of polysporin with him.

The action hardly hurt, so it wasn't the pain that drew him in. Rather, it was the hypnotic quality of the motion itself. Often when stressed, Don would soothe himself by plucking at the smooth scales of his arms, pulling out the ones that didn't align properly, and running his nails over the bumps when his technology wasn't functioning properly. If it weren't for the annoying buds of blood upon his skin, cracked and pathing down his flesh in riverbeds, one might mistake it for excessive grooming. However, that was not the case. On bad days, when Donnie was really stressed he would spot blood seeping through scab layers, a molten glow of lava, marring his normally forest-green complexion. The edges of his lips raw, and cracked, tasting blood with each word.

It was really starting to worry his family these past days. Raph had started pointing it out more as if that would snap Donnie out of it and stop. Instead, the scientist would pull away from the situation and just tuck away in his lab, a little pool of resentment building within his gut. He knew Raph meant no harm, but having it drawn attention to it, it was like, Donnie pushes away the lump in his throat. It’s as though he were some freak to be stared at. It made him feel gross, he sticks out his tongue, ugh, feelings. Though that was at least a bit more tolerable than what Leo did.

Leo's approach could be medical or just plain bullying, depending on the circumstances. Donnie would wake up from an unwilling nap one day covered in goz and bound tightly with cotton bandages; on other days, he'd be tinkering away and Leo would lean against the wall, staring, just like now, which Donnie had been trying to avoid for roughly ten minutes, wait, eleven to be exact.

It didn't take long for Donnie to turn around with a snap, the muscles on his neck throbbing as he unclenched his jaw to snap out an agitated. “What?”

“You must have a serious pizza obsession”. Leo cracks a grin, a wry twitch on his lips drawing attention to the blue of his mask glowing neon in his lab's light, the markings on his body radiating in the purple glow.. "Since you are so determined to look like one.”

“Out,” Donnie demands, swiveling back towards his desk. “Get out Nardo.”

“Hey!” Leo whines, “C'mon bro, I'm just saying.” He waves his hands about in a desperate plea, taking on a slight pace as he grappled for the return of Donnie's attention. “You need to” he struggles for the word, looking like a floundering fish as he does. “Idk, like, stop doing it.”

Don raises an eyebrow and spins around, seemingly only to glare sternly at Leo.. “If it were that easy.” He tests his words, tasting the formula sitting heavy on his tongue. “Wouldn't you think I would've stopped by now?”

Leo's reaction suggests reluctance; tongue caught behind the trap of his teeth, eyes wide and weary mooned as he looked Donnie up and down, and he must have noticed something don didn't realize about himself because he watches his twin fold into himself, seemingly sick.

“I know.” The blue one breathes, “I just.. I just want it to stop.” Don wrinkles his nose, already feeling the frosting of insults waiting to sugar the tips of lips instead he counters to an old tactic instead-

“Get out Leo.” he repeats from before. “Or I will make you.”

“Don..” he’s whining ever louder now as if he were a turtle tot once more. “At least let me tend to it, you look Awful.”

“Oh, I'm well aware.” Donnie acknowledges, “I know just well, how awful I look.” He spits, an arm shooting out of his shelf, wiggling its fingers then lunging at Leo to toss him out the door. “But it's nowhere near as bad as your attitude.”

"I'm only trying to be of help." Leo winces and then shouts,” Wait" feeling as his stomach drops when he felt the end of his shell being firmly grasped and thrown, a sharp yelp leaving his throat at the rough treatment.

Donnie locks the door behind him and returns to work, realizing that he must have been biting his lip due to a distinct metallic aftertaste in his mouth. He runs a finger across the sore flesh, feeling it paint across in the mockery of lipstick. Oh red, the colour of beauty, or desire, how it tickles his skin and taints him. He looks like a sick mockery of Christmas, the crash of red and green speaking of holiday.

He knows how awful he looks, he truly does, and he certainly doesn't need his, dumb, dumby twin reminding him of such things. Ugh, it really grinds his bolts and he almost dares to suggest that maybe Leo deserves to have a stink bomb planted in his room tonight.

It's not as though leo didn't somewhat deserve it and the caught footage could be used as blackmail and-

“Hey!” is spoken followed by a banging at the door. “Open up!”

Scheming tossed aside, Donnie complemented just tossing the bomb at him right now given this was a reasonable situation to do so since it appeared Leo just didnt know when to let up..except..that didnt sound like Leo's voice

He opens the door to investigate and sees Mikey standing there, his face obscured by paint supplies. “YAy, you let me in” He chirps, moving from foot to foot almost penguin like as he balanced his supplies. “I was worried you wouldn't.”

Donnie quirks a brow, “This better not be some weird session with Dr feelings..” he groans, halfheartedly glancing back at his work. “I'm not really in the mood.”

“Nope!” Mike drops the stuff onto the floor with a plunk and Donnie wonders why he was being careful in the first place if he were just to do that. “It's just me, Mikey, your brother.”

Donnie looks down, noticing that a paint bottle lid had popped off during the impact, leaving a dribble of yellow on his once-clean floor, and he winces, scouting the gleam of colours for any other messes. "So," he says, clasping his hands together and resting them against his mouth. "Why is my brother here, hm?" he asks, opening his hands and gesticulating broadly.

“Welll…” Mikey glances behind himself, then returns with a smile Donnie found himself mimicking. “A little birdie told me you've been mega-stressed.” He snatches up a tub and brush. “Sooooooo”

"Wait... wait," Donnie says as he steps back and raises his hands. “You don't mean…”

“Hey!” "Come back here and trust me!" Mikey exclaims. Already bracing against his right foot, he watched as Donnie shifted to his left foot and sprinted.

“I AM NOT A CANVAS” Donnie pleads, skidding to a halt. “You shall not place that goopy stuff on my skin.” He dodges a grab, a snarl to his lips, “I will skin you Mikey and sell it on the dark net.”

"I'm going to paint on you!" Mikey cries, making grabby hands at him. "Just trust me, okay?" Mikey's eyes look so watery and sad that it takes a moment for Don to feel the lump in his chest, feeling winded as he skidded to a halt. "I understand you have sensory issues."

Air comes slowly to don, watching Mikey clutch onto his supplies with desperation, his face all sniffly and gross. Somehow Donnie finds it in himself to at least entertain whatever idea his brother had. “So…what is it you want?”

As the tiredness in Donnie's bones begins to sink in, Mikey makes a cmere gesture with his hands, drawing Donnie in closer. Once there, his brother takes a seat a few inches apart and motions for Donnie to do the same. Donnie nods hesitantly, following the motion, watching as quick hands rummage through the pile of art, retrieving a purple tube and a brush.

"I used to pick at my nails." Mikey hums as he squirts paint into a tray and dabs it with his brush. "A lot," he says, swirling the brush and handing it to Don. "But then I really got into drawing and arts and crafts," he beams, extending his arm to Donnie, whose mind hadn't fully registered the fact that he was now holding a brush. "I just needed something to do with my hands, a grounder to focus," he explains, waving his hands. "And I know it's different for you, but I think you just need to relax for a moment."

Donnie's brain clicks into place, “You want me to…” he trails off eyeing the brush and then Mikey's forearm. “Paint you?”

Mikey shoves his arm even closer, his body vibrating as he excessively nodded in Donnie's opinion. “YES!” His then falls ever so, glancing ever so away…”That's, uh.. Is, if you want to.”

The brush slides against mikeys scale with ease, lavender shades mixing with the green of his scales. “Whatever.” he sighs, running the brush against his arm again one line, then two and then he began to shape it similar to his own pattern.

He reclines to admire his shaky work. "It's not bad." "Perhaps we should've been twins instead, you certainly rock the purple better than Leo," he grins.

Mikey gasped, clamping two hands over his mouth eyes peeking out over them as he lowered his hold to lean forward and whisper. “Don't let Leo hear you say that.”

Donnie snickers, “Don’t worry. I won't."

Mikey adds more paint to the tray. “Well, now that you've got the hang of it.” He turns to offer his shell. “Go to town.”

“If you insist.”

The evening consisted of this, a mixture of patterns and swirls added until Mikey was covered, not an inch of skin left as they chatted away. The stress of the day blurs away into a foggy memory.

"I don't believe there is any more room." "I guess that's it," Mikey sighs remorsefully.

“Actually.” Donnie extends his hand, offering Mikey the top of it. "You can do one pattern" "And I mean just one," he says, raising his finger.

And so Mikey paints a sun.

Just to give him a little more warmth in his life

And if raph were to spit his drink out in the morning when Mikey joined them for breakfast looking like multiple pride flags that had been cut up and sewn together, well that was just a plus side.

And if Leo trips on his own two feet and promptly face plants onto his face upon seeing Donnie's hand, well that's just a double plus side.

Now, this doesn't stop Donnie from picking, but it did help take off the edge. When the urge become too strong he’d find himself knocking on Mikey's door… and hey. You know what; Art is rather soothing.

#tmnt #tmnt donatello #Donatello & michelangelo #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt leonardo

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sorcererniles · 7 years ago

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Pizza Headcanons for Fate Characters

All Path

Corrin: Corrin (both male and female) Like any kind of pizza really. They mainly go with either plain cheese or pepperoni, but they don’t mind any other topping really

Azura: Despite other peoples distaste for it, Azura actually really likes anchovy pizza.

Felicia: Veggie Pizza. She may not be a vegetarian but there’s something about veggie pizza that she just loves

Jakob: Honestly can’t stand pizza tbh. He’d rather eat horse dung before he even considers eating 1/10 of a slice

Silas: Is simple man with simple taste, he’s a pepperoni pizza kind of man and can eat it all day if you let him.

Kaze: He likes hot sauce on his pizza. The hotter the better, you would assume it to be his brother, but no, Kaze is the one who likes spicy pizza

Mozu: People usually assume she is eating pepperoni pizza, but she isn’t. She has carrot slices on it, and it just looks like pepperoni.

Hoshido:

Ryoma: He’s a sucker for seafood on his pizza. Crab meat, lobster meat, shrimp, anything goes except anchovies. He finds them too salty

Takumi: He’s not a huge fan of pizza but he does enjoy it when he’s in the mood and he’ll eat it. Just don’t give him pineapple pizza, tbh, any pineapple does/doesn’t belong on pizza war you see he probably started because he said it doesn’t belong on it

Hinoka: She likes fruit on her pizza. People find it weird when they see her with bananas or apple slices on it, but she loves it.

Sakura: Only pizza Sakura will have is bacon pizza and if its the maple kind of bacon. other than that she doesn’t really eat it that often

Saizo: He likes olive pizza. Everyone finds it weird that he starts from the crust first though, but Saizo just like to get that out of the way first.

Kagero: Extra cheese pizza is her style, the more cheese the better.

Azama: He’s a weird one. he likes pizza, without cheese. Like he would literally pick off the cheese and eat it like that. He doesn’t even have a reason, he just does it.

Setsuna: She likes chicken pizza. If there is none, she’ll settle for what ever is there but she really just want chicken pizza

Hinata: Is a total pizza fanatic and will eat any kind, and especially loves pineapple pizza. He is also a source of pineapple pizza discourse if Takumi isn’t the cause (tbh, they are always fighting each other over what topping to get)

Oboro: She’s a sausage kind of pizza lover. Mainly because is was something her parents like to put on top of it, so it brings her back to the memories she has of them

Hana: Anything that isn’t meat pizza. She’ll usually eat what ever pizza Sakura leaves since she knows she only really likes the maple bacon one, but if it was a meat kind, she won’t go near it

Subaki: To keep his perfect figure he tries to avoid eating pizza, but Hana has spotted him eating a few slices late at night when no one is around, though she could never tell what the topping is, she knows he likes it more than he lets on

Hayato: He thinks pizza is bland. like he’ll eat it if he has to but he’d rather have something else. He feels its too childish to like pizza anyways.

Kaden: Okay so funny story. Kaden use to love pizza but ever since the time he got sauce and cheese on his fur, that changed. It got caught and he had to cut some of his beautiful fur off and because of that, he vowed to stay away from it to keep his fur nice and clean

Orochi: She likes mushroom pizza. she especially loves when the mushroom has been seasoned before being put on the pizza. She doesn’t know how she got into it though since she use to hate mushrooms

Rinkah: Hates pizza just as much as Jakob. Don’t give it to her, she will yell at you.

Nohr

Xander: He doesn’t eat pizza that often but is a fan of it, and does enjoy a slice from time to time. His favorite has to be a BBQ chicken pizza but he would eat any kind no problem.

Camilla: Meat, meat, and more meat. She’s a total meat pizza lover. Bacon, Chicken, Beef, Sausage, you name it she will have it on hers. Hell, maybe all in one pie if you’d let her.

Leo: He likes pizza dipped in ranch. Its funny, he use to eat it with tomato chunks until Odin got him into Ranch pizza. The two could be seen shareing a whole pie of ranch pizza together

Elise: The only pizza she is having is dessert pizza. She once had someone make a cookie sheed that she covered in chocolate sauce and sprinkled candy on top, then cut it as if it was a pizza. She doesn’t really like regular pizza (mainly because she’s allergic to the sauce)

Lazlow: He will eat any kind of pizza but his fav has to be a ham pizza with extra cheese. He says he gets it from his parents since his father liked ham pizza and his mom liked extra cheese

Peri: She likes all pizza and even learned how to make it herself. It comes out great and no one knows how. It always taste better when she makes it. She said its a secret in the sauce, which leaves some people on edge on to ask what the secret is but they’d rather not ask spoiler alert, its not blood

Selena: She will never admit it but she loves pizza. She acts like she hates it, even going as far as to slap it out the hand of anyone who offers, but Laslow and Odin have both seen her go on shopping sprees where she has stopped by a local pizza shop to get a pepperoni and olive pizza. Maybe that’s why she doesn’t let anyone know because she thinks they’ll think she is weird for liking pepperoni and olive pizza

Beruka: She eats pizza, but the stone face she usually haves leaves people to wonder if she actually likes it, or if she hates it. Some argue she wouldn’t eat it if she didn’t like it. Other say as an assassin, you’ll do anything to survive even eat something you don’t like. No one knows for sure and have never been able to confirm otherwise

Odin: Ranch Pizza. he would drown his in ranch sauce, even getting Leo into it. Laslow usually has to have him tone it down because, if you let him, he would pour a whole bottole of ranch on one pizza slice and still eat it.

Niles: He calls Odin and Leo weird for liking ranch pizza but he is one to talk. he would take his pizza and dip it into more marinara sauce. Niles would get regular pizza, any topping and just dip it in more sauce. He leaves the crust though, he doesn’t like crust.

Effie: Another meat pizza lover, like Camilla. She would, and has, put every kind of meat she could find in camp and put it into one pizza. No one could really stomach it except her and Camilla who happily enjoy it.

Arthur: As much as he likes pizza, he can’t bring himself to eat it. its either too hot that it burns his tongue or completely frozen that its hard to bite. even if its a good kind, a near by bird finds its way to use his slice as target practice

Nyx: While she doesn’t hate pizza, she wouldn’t eat it. Unless its the only thing left and she has no other option to eat, she just wont eat pizza and no one really knows why.

Charlotte: She puts on a great act in front of men when they get pizza together and would happily eat it no problem. But in reality, she can’t stand the stuff. Its slimy, its gross, who eats this? Ugh, she just cant understand how anyone would like this stuff, but if a guy got her a slice, she would happily eat it just to make him happy.

Benny: There are rumors of Benny putting rocks on his pizza slices and eating it like its nothing. He’s just that intimidating that he would eat a rock just to survive. Some one said they could have sworn they saw it themselves. In reality, he is just eating a sausage pizza. It’s his guilty pleasure tbh

Keaton: Keaton won’t eat pizza but loves the crust, especially if its been in the fridge for a while. You could see him taking the pizza crust Niles has thrown out and taking it for himself. He says its because he is lactose intolerant and can’t have cheese, so people wondered why not just get it without cheese and he just says he doesn’t like the sauce.

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chubbyhippo · 7 years ago

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Thanks to @chom-raaa for the tag :)

Rules: Answer the 20 questions and tag 20 amazing followers/people you’d like to get know better.

and

Rules: Put your music on shuffle, list the first ten songs, and tag ten people.

Twenty questions: (warning I’m so terribly indecisive orz)

nickname(s): Vasilias, Vii zodiac sign: Leo height: 165cm orientation: straight nationality: probably earth favorite fruit: honey pomelo, cherries, watermelon, dragon fruit favorite season: the 3 days between summer and winter when it’s actually nice (aka spring/fall) favorite book: there’s way too many I really dunno, but classics and Grimms’ fairy tales favorite flower: peony, Chinese plum blossom, Queen Anne’s lace favorite scent: verbena, lemongrass favorite color: Prussian blue and everyone’s favourite Payne’s grey favorite animal: red pandas, otters, mice, fennec foxes coffee, tea, or hot cocoa: coffee or tea cat or dog person: depends, but usually cats favorite fictional character: there’s a lot... Chuuya, Dazai, Break, Yuuko, Fai, Kamui, Cooro, Keidai, Caesar, Koro-sensei, Train Heartnet, Taikoubou, Count D, lots more... # of blankets you sleep with: 1 dream trip: Tuscany or Santorini probably but lowkey everywhere blog created: idk tbh but somewhat recent # of followers: uhh random fact: I hate avocados, gross texture and taste ugh

Ten songs:

默 - 黄致列

在这个世界相遇 - 陈奕迅

The Rain - Joe Hisaishi

Je t’Adore - Eurielle

ocean eyes - Billie Eilish

Saint-Laurent - Cœur de pirate

另一个自己 - 何炅

Bloom - Echolox

Hometown Glory - Adele

生如夏花 - 毕夏

Tagging anyone who wants to do it :)

#about me #tagged

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nomanonold · 8 years ago

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#Chihoko

I woke up still sort of hungover to this BLAST of texts from my collaborator friend telling me about HO-LY-SHIT everything that had happened in the fandom over night. But mostly, Sin wanted to write the story, because once you hear it, you HAVE to write it, right?

So here you go: our take on #Chihoko

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10762548

Or read here:

No one ever accused Yurio of being a patient, understanding friend, but this morning, no one could blame him for his outrage.

The two men he looked up to most in the world, he was literally looking up to right now, as the fucking idiots sat naked on the roof of a castle yelling at the sunrise. Since when did the youngest guy in the room end up being the only responsible one?

Since they all started drinking last night, the bastards.

------

They left Ice Castle in a fit of boisterous ego. Every single one of them knew this was going to be the best production they’d ever done. Or, at least, the very most fun. There was so much fanservice and silliness, things they’d never get away with in real competition. It was professional athletes fooling around and seeing what they could really do with their bodies without ISU judgement. The triplets kept a steady slow drip of “accidental” sneak previews feeding the public into a hyper frenzy.

The event was already sold out. Every room in Yu-Topia booked. People were staying in cities two hours away and taking the train back and forth to Hasetsu just for the “Victor and Friends” ice skating exhibition extravaganza.

The hardest part was getting Yakov to agree to let the entire Russian Team come to Japan for this. After that, Phichit, Minami, and Chris were easy to bring on board. And once he had them, it was no problem for Victor to get Seung Gil, Leo, Guang-Hong, Mickey and Sara. Because the entire city was booked, everyone was bunking with Victor, Yuuri and Yuri at Yu-Topia, but quarters were already tight, which necessitated an unfortunate amount of room sharing. In the morning, many bodies were strewn on the floor of Victor’s room, being the largest of the three. Somehow, Yurio managed to keep all the potential bed-sharers out of his closet-turned-bedroom, but he slid the door open in the early morning, thinking he’d get a head start on his preparation, to see chaos.

No one was fully clothed. There were about a dozen people in Victor’s room, on his bed, on his floor, everywhere. Yurio was immediately disgusted by this display. He didn’t even know a few of these people. Everyone was asleep. They needed to be at Ice Castle in a few hours. What the fuck was going on?

Finally, Yuri spotted Yuuri: or what was left of him.

“Katsudon! What the hell hap--..?” but he couldn’t finish his thought.

Yuuri looked worse than the entire room put together. He was ass-up at the foot of Victor’s bed, face a passed-out heap on one of his folded arms. The other arm was splayed at a hard angle. He was drooling and snoring. His back was covered in sharpie marker.

To top it all off, he had a pair of too-small bikini-style men’s underwear on his head, spraying his hair into a million odd angles through the leg holes. Black, of course, and undoubtedly Victor’s.

Speaking of which.

Yuri narrowed his eyes, taking a closer look at the scrambled assortment of human flesh.

“Yuuri!” Yuri woke his rival up the best way he knew how: kicking Yuuri over onto his side and then repeatedly punching Yuuri with his foot.

“Where did you put Victor?!” Yuri exclaimed. For all the bodies in the room, none of them were the star of the upcoming show.

That was a problem.

Yuuri finally woke up, moaning, and blinked at Yuri for all of two seconds before he was leaning off the edge of the bed, grabbing the upturned waste basket by his desk, and hurling into it.

That was the last straw.

Yuri yelled at the entire room to wake up.

“Victor’s not here?” Yuuri finally managed, blinking through the pounding of his head, groaning. He was somewhere between drunk and hungover and didn’t know which was worse.

Everyone else was making similar noises, complaining and bitching and getting groggily to their feet.

“Where the fuck is Victor?!” Yuri repeated. Normally, it took a steel spatula to pry Victor off of Yuuri, and yet now, on the morning of his big event, he was nowhere to be seen? Something was off.

People started looking at their phones, trying to see if they’d heard from Victor, received a text, or if Victor was somewhere Instagramming his heart out as was his routine in the early morning.

No one had heard a peep.

“Maybe YOU did something to him, Yurio!” Georgi accused, in the beginning of a panic.

“What the FUCK would I do to Victor?!”

“You have always wanted to be Russia’s only star, get out from under Victor’s shadow,” Mila declared, her suspicion teetering between legitimate and playful. How the hell had Mila wound up in this room? The girls were supposed to take Yuuri’s room.

“Like I need any help with that, Baba!” Yuri growled.

“Look,” Mickey said, holding up a scribbled napkin that had fallen out of the waste bin when Yuuri grabbed it for other purposes. On the napkin were various poorly-scripted show names: YURI ON DARKNESS, YURI ON GALAXY, YURI ON TIGER, ME VS THE WORLD. “You even want your own show!”

“HEY!” Yurio glowered, disguising his embarrassment as anger. “Those -- That’s --- HALF OF THOSE WERE OTABEK’S IDEAS!”

Sometime during this conversation Chris - who was nowhere to be seen - had tweeted:

“Victor! Where are you?!” with winking smiles, and now everyone’s phones were blowing up. Chris had just informed the rabid, sold-out crowds that Victor was missing.

Minako burst into the room of mostly-still-asleep half-naked men: “Yuko just called! What the hell happened last night!? Where’s Victor????”

That outburst got everyone awake for real, and people who didn’t stand up fast enough for Minako’s tastes got kicked in the ribs or butt.

“Yuri-kun! What is that on your back?!” Minami squealed, pointing with one hand and clutching his gasping mouth with the other.

Minako spun her protege around. “It’s in Russian! It must be from Victor!”

She promptly shoved Yuuri into Yurio. “READ IT! WHAT DOES IT SAY?!?!”

Yurio was suddenly in too-close proximity to Yuuri’s, sweaty, alcohol-smelling, naked flesh. He growled and struggled, but the group overpowered him.

“Please, Yurio?” Yuuri finally begged, bending over and trying to do a ‘flat back’ style yoga pose to ease Yurio’s reading of the text. “We need to know where Victor is. We can’t do ‘Victor and Friends’ without Victor.”

“You know, we could always --” Georgi started, Mila beside him, but Yuri wasn’t one to be shown up.

Yuri looked away, shrugged off his captors and growled: “It says Victor will beat Chihoko. Or… overcome Chihoko.”

Almost simultaneously, nearly everyone in the group uttered some variant of: “Who the fuck is Chihoko?”

Yurio stomped towards his room. “How the heck should I know! IDIOTS! I hate all of you!” and did his best to slam the sliding door before throwing himself onto his bed with a pillow over his head so he couldn’t hear the madness outside. He did his part to help in the search by texting Victor.

The fuck have you gone?

“Oh no. This is terrible,” Yuuri clutched his forehead in the other room and tried to stand, failing, and slumping back against the bed.

Seung Gil looked nervously around the room and was happy the Victor disappearance overshadowed his own… actions… last night. He tried to further deflect attention from himself by announcing:

“Katsuki Yuuri, one thing needs to be said before we go on.”

Yuuri looked up at him with the saddest, most beaten down eyes, hoping for comfort from a younger, kinder friend.

“Put some clothes on!”

This entire time, in front of Minako Sensei and everyone else, including, OH GOD BAKA MINAMI KUN, Katsuki Yuri had been balls and dick hanging out for all the world to see.

Yuuri immediately grabbed the trashcan and threw up again.

“Okay, okay,” Phichit decided to try and save the day. “Everyone’s seen a drunk morning after movie, right?” There was bleary, non-committal nodding in response. “Well, we have to retrace our steps, look for clues! Everyone empty your pockets and try to remember what happened last night!”

“We ate katsudon for dinner.” Georgi pulled out his receipt from downstairs.

“Oh yeah,” Mickey continued to build his case against the Russian Fairy. “Victor said ‘Here’s your katsudon, kitten’ and then Yurio got pissed.”

Mila laughed and mocked with her best Yurio voice: “I am the ICE TIGER!”

Leo shuddered. “That was when things started to get… gross…”

Guang Hong looked at his phone and found a video of Chris. He hit play.

The Swiss star lounged salaciously in the middle of a Victor and Yuuri sandwich. He leaned into Yuuri, purring: “Do you want to... drink my… sake?” The tone made it clear he was talking about anything but sake.

Yuuri feigned pushing him away, leaning Chris into Victor. “It’s OUR sake, Chris.” He corrected. “It belongs to Yu-Topia.”

Leo and Guang Hong could be heard near the phone: “Ugh. Adults are gross.”

The video kept playing to prove the youngsters right. Chris snorted at the pair and turned his weighty gaze on them. “If we’re so adult for you, why don’t you go to your mums, get a nice suckle of milk, and go sleep in your cribs, hmm?” The words alone were bad, but Chris accented them with a slow swirl of his finger around his nipple and a squeeze of his pectoral.

The video ended.

Minako was flush and excused herself to go look for Chris and Victor since they both had to be out in the town somewhere.

“THAT’S IT!” Yurio burst from his bedroom. “Yuuri was jealous of Victor flirting with Chris all night and hid him away!” He pointed a finger of judgment at Yuuri as the Japanese skater pathetically tried to hop into a pair of pants. Phichit, bless his soul, was acting as a human railing for Yuuri to hold on to to stay balanced as he dressed.

“It looked more like Chris was flirting with Yuuri,” Leo offered.

“They were all pretty into each other,” Georgi sighed, enamoured by the love his friends shared. “I don’t think either Victor or Yuuri would be jealous of Chris.” Yuuri buried his face in his hands.

“Oh! Look at this video!” Mila chirped.

A far more sober video began to play, it must have been from much earlier than the Chris milking incident.

Victor and Yuuri were drinking, but slowly, and the video panned to everyone around the room enjoying themselves, fully clothed.

Victor jumped up behind Yuuri and grabbed him around the waist.

“Yuuuuri my cuuuteee piiggyyy!” His fingers began to squeeze Yuuri’s pooch over his shirt. “Your off season soft tummy is sooo squishy!” Then his hands got up under Yuuri’s shirt and exposed his tummy. “I squish it!”

Yuuri squirmed a bit adorably and whined: “Victor!! Everyone’s watching!”

This did absolutely nothing to disincentivize Victor.

“What the heck, Mila?!” Yuuri groaned as the video actually zoomed in on Victor’s hand smooshing a warm circle over Yuuri’s bare and adorably pudgy stomach.

“Poodgy poofy woofy!” Victor laughed and jiggled the flesh.

Mila covered a spit-take style laugh with her hand as the video stopped playing.

“Maybe Katsudon got jealous that everyone saw Victor being cute with him and wanted to keep him to himself!” Yurio tried to shout, but it was drowned out by the combined cacophony of everyone laughing at the video.

“No. This clue doesn’t help.” Phichit scratched his chin and did his best detective voice. “Anything else anyone remembers?”

“Oh! I’ve got one!” Leo cheered. “Oh! This is a good one! I bet this is it!”

The newest video showed Victor flirting with Chris this time. Yuuri had lost an article of clothing or two, but still had his pants on.

“Victor! Stop looking at Chris and look at meeeeeee!”

Victor’s position in the onsen made it possible for him to be facing both Yuuri and Chris at once.

“Yuuri, I AM looking at you!”

“You’re not looking enough.”

Snickering could be heard in the background as drunk-video Yuuri put on a pouty face and reached for Victor. Once he had Victor in his clutches, Yuuri’s Sochi banquet begging voice was suddenly all anyone could hear in the room. At full volume, Katsuki Yuuri wailed:

“Victor! Do it with me!”

Minami-Kun, hearing this from the recording, dropped his phone with a loud thud. His body when rigid and he didn’t even try to retrieve the device.

“Do what?” came the silver tongued reply in the video.

“That thing we do… when we drink… do that… do it with me…”

Yurio covered his ears and his growls were crescendoed to a roar of insolent rage. He knew this was all Yuuri’s fault! No one listened to him!

The video ended.

“That’s right!” Phichit laughed. “You guys came back in here and started playing Yakyuken! Oh, Yuuri-kun, you lost… BAD. You were naked in like ten minutes.”

“KATSUKI SHIT YUURI!” Yurio erupted.

Yuuri had buried his face in the pillow by this point, curled up into a ball and commenced a long, aching, moan. No had had the courage to tell him that Victor’s underwear was still on his head. Finally he admitted in a whine of pain: “It’s true… I want to disappear…”

Georgi raised a delicate finger. “I saw Victor when he left last night! He was naked when he left! And he kept saying something.” His steepled his fingers against his temples as he paced, wracking his brain. “Chin… hoko…?”

Minami went more crimson than he already was. “Uh, is had to be something else, right Georgi? He couldn’t have been repetitively saying…” he blanched, “penises, could he?”

Mila guffawed. “That sounds about right for drunk Victor!”

Yurio screamed. “Chihoko, you ass!” at Georgi. “The same thing that’s written on Yuuri’s stupid sweaty, stinking back!”

“OH!” Phichit suddenly exclaimed. “Chihoko!!!” He’d tagged that on one of his IG pics the previous night: Yuuri and Victor, waist up, though Victor had one of Yuuri’s ankles in his hands and was compressing the Japanese skater into an impressive stretch. “Look!”

“I… I have a video from then…” Minami whispered in horror. His cheeks were bright red, and he couldn’t bring himself to press play. He held out his phone in one hand, the other covering his eyes.

It looked like Minami had been trying to take a video of Yuri and Leo balancing cards, but in the background, sure enough, were Victor and Yuuri, half out of frame but their voices clear:

“Who…. is Chihoko!?” Victor gasped in alarm, dropping Yuuri’s leg. Yuuri twisted around and wrapped his arms around Victor’s neck, slurring:

“Are youuuu maaaaaadddddd,” Yuuri teased, his butt shaking in the video as he pushed Victor back.

“No!” Victor tried to scoff.

“Yess youuu arrrreeeee!”

The pair’s words escalated, but the video cut off abruptly as Yuri and Leo’s card tower fell down.

“My Victor and Yuuri got a divorce!” Phichit shrieked in horror.

Yuuri made another deathly noise from his pillow.

#Chihoko was on several people’s phones, with the question trending online “Who is Chihoko?!” The skaters were all asking one another the same question, now.

That was when Emil walked in, blinked at the sight of everyone, shook his head like clearing a nightmare, and asked: “Why is Victor naked on top of the castle?”

Even Yurio was stunned silent.

“What?” Yuuri finally had to ask.

“Victor… he’s… er….” Emil nodded the way he’d came. “He’s naked. Stretching. On the castle roof.”

“Oh, god.”

Yuuri made a move for the door, and it wasn’t until he was almost out of Yu-Topia that Emil called: “Take that underwear off your head!”

Yuuri would never forgive Phichit for this.

By the time Yuuri reached the castle, panting, out of breath, and quite certain he was still drunk, the sky was light enough that sunrise was imminent.

One story above him, the love of his life was up there stretched into a pose that mimicked one of the nearby statues. It was an impressive sight, cock and all. Before Yuuri could even open his mouth, Victor was shouting:

“IS THIS BETTER THAN CHIHOKO!?”

Yuuri blinked.

“WHO THE HELL IS CHIHOKO!” He held out his hands in exasperation towards his love: “I COULD SEARCH THE WHOLE WORLD; THERE’S NOBODY BETTER THAN YOU!”

And he saw and heard the little shriek of joy this caused in Victor.

By this time, the others had arrived, only a few stragglers still coming up the hill. Chris had run into Emil on the other man’s way to Yu-Topia and had been standing below Victor trying to talk him down for more than thirty minutes. Phichit greeted Chris with a chipper grin:

“Have you been babysitting him this whole time? You missed all the fun this morning.”

Chris smiled and flashed his phone, revealing a photo of Seung Gil laying kisses on a stunned Nishigori: “Oh, Phichit, the day is only just beginning.”

Victor caught everyone’s attention when he hailed from above: “Yuuuuuri! Strip and join mee!!!”

Chris and Phichit laughed, like Victor had made a funny joke, but Yuuri stared pure-hearted determination up at Victor and promptly started removing his shirt and pants all over again.

“Ahhhhh! Yuuri! Amazing!” Victor swooned when Yuuri finally caught up to him, walking carefully along the rooftop. “Am I shining, Yuuri?!”

“Very, very brightly,” Yuuri agreed, the first rays of the sun catching on Victor’s pale skin and making him glow.

“THIS CHIHOKO MAY BE YUURI’S PAST,” Victor called down to the assembled skate group, who had absolutely no idea how to deal with this situation, “BUT I AM YUURI’S NOW!”

Yuuri nuzzled into Victor’s naked body and bare skin.

“Oh good, everyone!” Phichit enthused. “My best friend got remarried!!!”

There was a round of clapping from the assembled skaters as Victor and Yuuri took their seats on the roof, arms hugging waists, watching the sunrise.

“I’M BETTER THAN CHIHOKO!” Victor cried out happily.

“HE’S BETTER THAN THE SUN!” Yuuri joined him, pointing at the half moon of burning light.

“I’M BETTER THAN THE WORLD!!!”

---

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Yuri growled from the ground.

This was why he shouldn’t let those two around alcohol.

It was officially confirmed for their fans and all of their friends. Victor and Yuuri were a couple of drunk exhibitionists. Next time they called Yurio to be part of their show, he would tell them to fuck off. Fuck right off. There was no way he was getting sucked into this again. The disgusting public affection. The raunchy nudity. The uncontrollable theatrics. Up early enough to see the fucking sunrise!

Yuri huffed, surrounded by his skating family, after one of the most ridiculous nights of his life, and couldn’t entirely hide the way his lip quirked up as he looked at that horizon.

#yoi #yuri on ice #chihoko #victuuri #phichit chulanont #Yuri Plisetsky #ao3 #fanfic

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