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gonnaneedacandle-blog · 13 years

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Mistakes

She knew it was utterly stupid. That didn't change what she was doing. Things hadn't been that bad. She had a girlfriend, she'd been cast in a good, main stage show in her school's prestigious, damn hard to get into music program. However all of that did nothing to make her think that the whole college thing was right for her. At that point she was really wondering why she didn't just join the rest of her friends and stayed in Vocal Adrenaline, at least for another year or two. However she also knew that hadn't been right for her, either. Sure, it was while she'd been in high school, but she wasn't the sort of girl who could make a life out of that choir. She didn't have it in her. If she did, she never would have left in the first place. So that was out, school was out. She didn't know what she had left after that, though. Well, besides run off.

Her original intention had been to run to New York, but she realized she didn't have enough money for bus fair and enough left over to try and find an apartment or at least a hotel for the time being. She knew, from the few trips she had taken that it was incredibly expensive. She guessed California was a viable option, but she wasn't quite a California sort of girl. Dark hair, pale skin... no. So, when trying to come up with major American cities that had a strong arts background where she could just wander around and maybe hopefully nail an audition somewhere, or at least find a job in the meantime, her brain had come up with Chicago. Quite possibly because that was where she knew someone who was most definitely no longer her girlfriend lived.

She'd packed her backpack, and that was it. She wore jeans, a sweater, and her coat. She'd packed two other tops, a dress, tights, and a third of her underwear drawer. The ballet flats she wore were plain enough to go with any of them and she could sleep in her clothes. Not much else had fit, but she'd still rammed in a folder with a few pieces of sheet music and a couple of copies of her resume in it. Her theatre resume- she didn't actually have a practical work experience resume. Then she'd gotten on that bus and tried to hold it together.

And then she'd turned her cell phone off without saying a thing to anyone about what she was doing. Not even Tal, who she was supposed to go out with the next day. She knew it was wrong- selfish, even cruel because it would scare everyone. She just didn't want Tal, or Harper, or Harper's parents, or Jack (oh God, Jack) to come find her, pick her up, and drag her back to either Akron or Cincinnati kicking and screaming the whole way. She'd already decided neither place fit- why was this a worse option?

Some might argue that the fact that she had shelter and friends and family in Ohio made those automatically better options, but she guessed she just wasn't up to being so rational that day. Hence the one way bus ticket and three hundred dollars in her backpack. It wasn't much- she'd get a really crappy hotel or something for a week or so out of it. But by then she'd have come up with something- found some place hiring a waitress or a store clerk, gotten a job lined up, and within a couple of paychecks she'd get an apartment of her own, or at least find someone who needed a roommate.

She hadn't really accounted for the fact that apparently not many hotels have vacancies at nine o'clock at night and even in a large city it was possible to walk around for a couple of hours without finding a room. So she'd sat down in the bus station and bought herself a hamburger, despite the fact that she much preferred to eat vegetarian and almost never ate red meat. Apparently that only lasted until she was hungry.

And that lasted about a week and a half- filling out job applications and reading newspapers to see if there were any references to upcoming auditions and eating as little as she could and keep from passing out. That was when she realized it was quite hard to get a job without an address and when you were afraid to turn on your cell phone because you knew it would be full of missed calls, texts, voicemails from terrified loved ones. Was she considered a runaway? They couldn't send the police after you after you were eighteen, right? No- but they could file a missing person's report. Ugh, they probably thought she'd been murdered or something.

Which she very well could be, because any time someone even bumped into her, she was sure she was about to be kidnapped and sold into white slavery or something. She promised herself that as soon as she had an apartment of her own, she would call Harper, Jack, and Tal. From there the information would all trickle out as needed. That had always been the plan, but she realized it might take longer than she'd originally planned. Especially considering she'd planned to more or less have the living situation worked out within two weeks, tops and was getting nowhere.

Some sad part of her kept wondering if her parents were looking for her or if they even knew she was missing. She had a feeling she didn't actually want to know the answer.

Two weeks. Three... three and a half was where her money had run out. She was still cursing how expensive the bus ticket had been. She didn't panic- she just didn't eat for a couple of days, other than refilling a bottle of water to keep herself hydrated. Still, it was a bit scary to go into the public bathroom. All of her clothing hadn't been washed other than what she could do in the public sink. She'd not had a chance at a shower, just using those stupid paper towels that felt like grocery bags on her skin to wipe grime away. She'd lost weight- fifteen pounds or so, more noticeable on her, considering she'd only weighed about one hundred and ten pounds or so in the first place. Her hair was dirty. She looked scared.

Some might say that was the time to just give up and go home. They'd all be angry, but probably much more glad to have her back. She was sure she could have called Jack right then and he'd get into his (well, her) car immediately and be there to take her home in just a couple of hours. She could picture it- she'd probably end up bawling against his shoulder and he'd feed her at some seedy place that was still open, as it was better than nothing and then take her back to his apartment and immediately shove soap and shampoo at her until she felt like herself again. It didn't sound bad, but it would still be giving up.

That was why she didn't do it- instead she'd dug into her folder and pulled out the sheet of paper where she'd written out a list of emergency contacts. If she ended up dead in an alley, she'd wanted whoever found her to know who to call.

Her eyes settled on one address- one she could get to in just a few minutes' walk in the rain (oh God, of course it was raining). It was the person she'd been most scared to run into, simply because what could she say? Still, she found the address, found the buzzer on the callbox with the last name 'Alcott' written on it.

Pressed the button, heard her say “Hello” and wasn't surprised when her voice was shakey and teary, “Hey, it's Leigh... I'm sorry if I'm bothering you, I can just go, but I would really, really appreciate it if you let me in.”

She didn't get an answer and after she just stood there for a few minutes, she thought she'd maybe gotten the wrong address somehow, or that she wasn't wanted there. Then the door had opened and the girl came out, hugged her, soaked to the skin, sobbing, dirty and all.

#character: Leigh Anna Barker #Leighannah #because when I write a character out I can't just say she transferred schools #she has to be homeless for a month #pennedhelvetica #itscalledettiquettedarling

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gonnaneedacandle-blog · 13 years

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Firsts

She squeezed her eyes shut at the gentle shaking she got, burrowing in closer to Hannah, pressing a kiss lightly against her neck. “Too early,” she mumbled, very intent on not getting out of the bed. It was the same fuzzy part of her brain that had decided it was a good idea to just sleep at her girlfriend’s house the previous night rather than returning home- not to her parents’ home, but to Harper’s. She’d just gone over to Hannah’s to study- and had told Harper’s mother that the previous day. She’d just neglected to mention that Hannah’s mother wasn’t going to be home. And, well, they did do some studying, admittedly not enough to warrant the fact that they lost track of time and two in the morning had snuck up on them.

Nothing had happened, well, not nothing. There had been plenty of somethings that had happened. There had been kissing, there had been cuddling, there had been, well, physical affection that only tended to come out when they were both a little intoxicated. But that hadn’t happened, and Leigh had pretty happily fallen asleep at Hannah’s side, even knowing that their sleep was probably going to be a lot more like a nap than a sleep because the next day was Saturday which meant they had rehearsals for Regionals in the morning and-

Oh. Crap. Rehearsal in the morning. It was now morning. “OK, OK, I’m awake, what time is it?” she said, already rolling over and setting her feet on the floor, wondering if she even had time to brush her hair or if she just needed to get out the door as quickly as possible.

“We’re not late, yet,” a very sleepy Hannah said, slowly coming to, pointing to the clock… “Up an hour later than we should have been, but not late yet- we’ve got twenty minutes before we need to leave.”

Leigh nodded. Time for a (very short) shower, whipping her hair up into a ponytail, and changing clothes. And that was when she got an idea. They had been smoothly dating for months and they hadjust woken up in bed together… it wasn’t too soon, was it? “Um… I need a shower, we could save time if we….” She could feel her pale skin turning red as she blushed. “If you wanted to? I mean, I-“

“Shh, yes, we just need to be quick” Hannah quickly said- both of them suddenly feeling more awake, Leigh trying to wonder when exactly she’d become brave enough to suggest that she and her girlfriend shower together. That worry faded a bit when Hannah grabbed her hand and they walked into the bathroom. She modestly turned her back to take the clothing she’d slept in off, wondering why that even mattered, not looking up until she heard the water start running.

She looked over her shoulder to see Hannah, eyes dipping down just to her bare shoulders before going right back up again. “You’re, um, allowed to look, you know?” Hannah said.

“I know… did you?”

“Yeah…”

“Oh.”

“It was good?”

She blushed deeper- pretty sure she already looked like a strawberry, working on letting her skin turn beet red, but smiled. “Oh,” she repeated, briefly looking down, smiling again, and then stepping into the water.

Originally, this plan was supposed to save time and water- shower quickly, change, drive to rehearsal. But apparently Leigh had overlooked the fact that her girlfriend were going to be standing in such close proximity… and were wet from the shower and… OK, maybe she shouldn’t have kissed her. And maybe she shouldn’t have kissed her again after that, or put her arms around her, or touched her.

In the end, they were late to rehearsal, but for once Leigh didn’t mind.

#Leighannah #Leigh Anna Barker #Hannah Alcott #fic #character: Leigh Anna Barker

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