#Le Brique restaurant and Mostly Boulangerie

[pilferingapples]

Le Brique Restaurant Menu

Try Our Famous BREAD!

-Black bread

: hard, bitter, and served with a heaping helping of self-loathing! 

-Bitter Bread of Moral Choices:  There's nothing wrong with this bread, you're just going through some things.  You’re Doing Great, Sweetie. This bread,however, is lost on you.  

- Bishop's Rye: bread to make you strong 

- The Toothbreaker: a dry stale crust, would you maybe like some soup or something? 

- White Bread of  Hope:  Nice soft perfectly good French loaf. Best eaten with family. 

- Fruits of the Field Loaf: Whatever stems, seed or fruit was left after harvest, baked into a lump with acorn flour. Served with hot water to soften it enough to eat, and an axe for cutting it. 

-Bread Pudding of the Leviathan:  a loaf of bread soaked in blood and what we'll call the metaphorical essence of the population, simmered over the flames of hatred and served in a fine sauce of desperation

Breakfast 

-Crepes - they're crepes they're fine - 

-Crepes des Gants- gloves in crepe batter, lightly pan fried; if it was real love  you'd eat them 

-Egg and Toast:  an entire personal loaf of bread and one (1) egg, cooked however you like -Eggs: served without permission.  We’re not going to offer them but we guess we can’t stop you

Brunch

- Ham and Brie:  just a nice meat and cheese plate! Served with bread, probably. Because you're  a reasonable person who eats normal human food that is not overloaded with symbolic recurrence! 

- Oysters:  smoked or pickled, definitely not fresh. A Surprisingly Popular Snack

Dinner 

- Pork Chops Three Ways:  one pork chop, cooked at your table, by you, to be eaten in three stages, counting the bone

-Cabbage Soup : contains cabbage 

-Cabbage and Bacon soup:  contains cabbage 

-Bread Soup :  The finest local food oil of some sort mixed with our famous bread,  in a broth of water steeped with fresh local herbs!   May also contain boiled vegetables.  

-Myriel's Special: Our Bread Soup, served with pork, mutton, figs, fresh cheese, and a loaf of rye bread 

-The Carters'  Dinner Special: marmot, partridges, goose, carp, and trout, all cooked to perfection over our old-fashioned wood fire!  Guaranteed to not be served to any other clients who enter while it's cooking!

- Meat and vegetable plate, dessert included:  Comes with unlimited servings of our famous B R E A D.  Let our chefs choose for you! An affordable, filling meal for people on a budget who nonetheless want something that is actually food and not a tragic representation of societal inequality!

-Stuffed Carp:  our aphoristically famous dish, cooked by our head chef!  Unless it isn't, in which case it will still definitely be made from real food. That's our guarantee! 

-The Surprise:  a five-course meal of all our finest dishes, with an unexpected after-dinner treat!  Truly life-changing! 

Dessert and Fruit

-Bunch of Grapes:  just a nice bunch of fresh grapes!

-Brioche a la Cygne:  brioche dipped in fresh spring water, to be fought over with a swan

-Apple Turnovers: served with a long and complicated lecture

-Melon Festival: Fresh melons right from the garden! 

-Windfall apples: slightly overripe garden-fresh fruit; best eaten while not being watched 

-Apples By the Branch:  extremely fresh, served accompanied with baffling circumstances and confusing allegations 

-Student Special:  Apples from the still life you were supposed to be painting, shoved into your supply satchel and eaten at home

Super Budget Specials!!

-Pawnshop Special: Give us your coat and watch, we'll give you food to match whatever we think they're worth !

-' Pipin'  Hot"  all day meal:  yellow clay scraped from around our stovepipe! Eat until you traumatize a medical intern! 

Drinks:

-Water,  don't think about who brought it here

-Milk, fresh from the dairies of Pontarlier!

-Brandy 

-Absinthe -The Wine of Friendship: free refills, though this vintage is never very old

-Mauves Wine: a very good vintage 

-Nitric Acid: a real finisher for the evening

-- @alicedrawslesmis  I think it’s really shaping up here