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moku-youbi · 4 years ago

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Alright Untamed fandom, where do I submit and/or beg for my fic ideas?

I DESPERATELY need a Leverage AU for this fandom (and for Word of Honor, too, but that’s going to be a separate post), you GUYS!?! Tell me you can’t see this:

Lan Zhan in the role of Nate--maybe as a detective of some fashion instead of insurance investigation. Or maybe he works as head of security for his very wealthy family. And for a while he’s so sure that he’s doing the Right and Honorable and Just thing, hunting down these criminals. And he’s got some serious angst over his friend Wei Ying who was head of security for the Jiang until he stole some huge corporate secret and sold it to their competitors before disappearing into the criminal underworld. And Lan Zhan’s seen him over the next few years, only very briefly, when their paths cross from opposite sides of a heist and Wei Ying says he’s been framed, but no matter how often Lan Zhan tries to convince him to come home and set things right and face punishment. Because even if he hadn’t done the original crime, he’s clearly doing crime (and being gay, but that is neither here nor there) and he has to take responsibility and Wei Ying’s like no thanks, bro. So then Lan Zhan finds out something that sort of shakes him to the core, like maybe some sketchy things his own family have done, or that they were in on framing Wei Ying along with the Jin, whatever, not sure on the details. But he quits and starts having guilt over the fact that he just assumed the worst about Wei Ying, and also, all these awful things that Wei Ying has done since? Are him trying to clean up messes made by the Wen and Jin and Lan.

After some soul searching, Lan Zhan starts digging into all the shit that these major corporations have been up to, and starts identifying the people who’ve been hurt by them and have been fighting back on their own, and decides to bring them all together. There’s:

* Meng Yao (fucked over by his father and out for revenge on the whole wide world, and who would be the perfect confidence man, lbr and very brainy, yes, but no where on the level of...) * Nie Huaisang (hacker extraordinaire, able to get any information on anyone or anything in basically 10 seconds or less, and able to use that to manipulate every scenario perfectly to his whims--he doesn’t NEED to steal, you’ll give him exactly what he wants without you even realising it...look, he doesn’t need to be doing this, but he is pissed over what happened with Wei Ying and the Wen are constantly flexing on his brother, and also, it’s fun!) * Wen Ning (who to everyone’s astonishment is the best hitter in the game, started helping Wei Ying shortly after his fall from grace, has issues galore with basically every sect, but he’s really only in this for his family and Wei Ying) * Wen Qing (who comes part and parcel with WN and WY because these assholes always end up needing to be patched up, and also, need a voice of sanity and reason) * Xue Yang (who just likes shiny things and fucking shit up and bewilders everyone over the fact that he can steal, like, anything and has warehouses full of treasure, but just squats in a ramshackle abandoned building and spends all his money on candy and baked goods) * A-Qing (who is Xue Yang’s thief and con-woman in training, and who will mercilessly use her youth and anonymity with the main companies to bleed them fucking dry)

And Lan Zhan can’t get ahold of Wei Ying at first, but after the team’s first job, oh you better fucking believe Wei Ying is interested now! (okay, he was interested as soon as Lan Zhan spoke to the Wen siblings, but he was waiting to see how things fell out and if this was some sort of trap that he’d need to spring them from). They’re in the middle of some elaborate heist and it’s all about to fall apart, and Lan Zhan is as close to freaking out as someone like Lan Zhan can be, and Wei Ying just strolls in and saves the day with his devastating smile.

So the gang saves the day and makes the bad guys pay, and then they decide you know, there are a lot more assholes out there pulling things like this, and we’re really good at screwing them over.

I just want all the found-family feels, and the reconciliation, and the romance. How Yanli finds ways to send care packages to Wei Ying through Huaisang and trying to let him know she believes in him no matter what. And someday after the initial confrontation with the Jin/Wen/Lan, just stopping by the team’s headquarters on the regular to feed them when they’re so busy planning they forget to take care of themselves. The eventual confrontation of Wei Ying and Lan Zhan with their respective brothers and adoptive parents/uncle. Meng Yao getting the love and recognition he deserves after his father is arrested. The crew picking up new members here and there, like XXC and SL who are some sort of law enforcement, and...not so sure about this at first, but eventually end up looking the other way (and maybe adopting A-Qing and inexplicably becoming enamored of Xue Yang). Wei Ying and Lan Zhan rescuing A-Yuan at some point when taking on the Wen, and him being raised by his two dads and the craziest and most loving group of Aunties and Uncles.

Some of them go more ~legit after things fall out. Like Meng Yao is way more appropriate to run the Jin than his brother, and they both know it. And Huaisang has to keep an air of respectability about himself, and Wen Qing is a legit doctor, okay...but they still help out on the regular.

Look, I would write this myself, I WOULD. Except 1.) I know no where NEAR enough about Chinese culture to do it justice, and 2.) ever since I started my ADHD meds I’ve been...incapable of writing? (which goes hand in hand with 2 actually, because researching feels daunting). So *hands* someone make it a thing??

#the untamed #leverage #head canon #modern au #wangxian

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space-whalesharks · 5 years ago

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Don't kill me, but all the fruits for grant and alistair please 💕

Also just noticed @troyebakers asked for all for Grant too, so here y’all are:

Let me apologize to mobile users now bc this is probably just gonna be a giant wall of strewn together nonsense for them. Switching around the order of the questions to make it flow a fair bit better.

🍍 : how comfortable is my muse in their body? how do they feel about their height, weight, strength, and body type? how important is being attractive to them?

🍑 : how meticulously does my muse look after their physical appearance? do they spend a lot of time on their hair, makeup, grooming, and clothing? is there a particular reason why they do or don’t? Grant: Grant is basically okay with how he looks. He doesn’t exactly like his appearance, but he doesn’t hate it either, nor does he think it’s that important. The only thing he’ll really fuss over is his hair, and his idea of fussing is brushing it but letting the bedhead win a lot of the time. Same goes with how he dresses- if a pair of jeans and T-shirt are discarded on the floor one night and they’re not in bad condition/they don’t smell, he’ll wear them again. Alistair: He’s a little fussy with it. He knows most people find him attractive but he’s not that invested in it. Living for multiple centuries does that to a guy. He’ll make sure he’s neatly put together daily and that’s that. He does usually try to dress nicely though. His casual is a nice sweater, well-fitting leather jacket and dark jeans. He tends to call it ‘professorly.’

🍅 : how does my muse feel about plastic / cosmetic surgeries & procedures? is it something they have done or would do? do they mind if others do it? Both: Both of them are usually in the “why do people do that, it’s not necessary, people age, it’s a fact of life” side of things- with Alistair noting “except for me” in that last bit. They’d never dream about getting anything done themselves.

🍏 : how stable is my muse’s physical health? do they go for regular or semi-regular checkups by a physician? do they have any diagnosed illnesses and / or take any medication? how often do they get sick?

🍎 : how stable is my muse’s mental health? have they been diagnosed with any mental illnesses and / or conditions? do they have any undiagnosed mental illnesses and / or conditions? do they or should they attend therapy? Grant: He’s usually physically healthy and tries to stay that way. Mentally, he’s a mess and tries to get help, but it’s not lost on him that talking with Nic and getting hugs from her works better for him than an actual therapist half the time. Alistair: Fit as a fiddle permanently, if you don’t count the whole living undead thing. He’s also fairly mentally stable himself, and he’s had a vested interest in Psychology the last century, which helps things.

🍒 : how much does my muse value companionship? do they constantly keep people around them, or do they prefer to be alone often? do they have or desire to have many friends? do they see every meeting as an opportunity to make a new friend? Grant: After what happened during his time as a soldier, Grant got it in his head that he was bad luck for anyone around him, so he tried to stay solo for as long as possible and didn’t actively make friends. Enter Nic and Matthew/John, and it was another story. They didn’t really give him an active chance to tell them to leave him alone so they wormed their way into his heart, which helped his mental state so he was able to pursue a friendship with them and then a relationship with M/J, which healed him enough where he was a little more outgoing/willing to meet and befriend other people. Alistair: Nearly the same deal. He was also fairly anti-friends because people only usually gave him the time of day to get in his family’s good graces. He was very apprehensive about making friends because he figured once they got what they wanted they’d leave him, considering that happened a lot. And then Kat and the others came along and made him feel wanted, and while he still has that distrust of people outside that group, he would die (again) for every single person in their friend circle.

🍇 : how would my muse describe their childhood? how much has it impacted the person they are now, or will become as an adult? around what age did they or will they start to mature, and why? do they wish to go back to their days as a child, or have they embraced adulthood? Grant: He had a lonely childhood, his parents did take care of him, but were also fairly neglectful and paid more attention to their business than him. When the whole ‘bi but leaning more towards being romantically interested in men’ thing came to pass his parents sent him off to live with his gay uncles which ended up being the best experience of his life because he finally got active attention/parental figures who genuinely cared about his day or interests for once. The first half of that, however, prepared him a lot for his self-exile after coming home from overseas, but it also planted the idea that there was a silver lining somewhere in life, which he found in his friends. The only way he’d want to relive his childhood is if he was with his uncles the entire time. Alistair: Looking back, Alistair acknowledges that his mother raised him to be a spineless, pompous ass. Him becoming a full vampire/getting some distance from the family when he turned thirty was the turning point where he acknowledged that ‘oh hey, a lot of this shit is messed up.’ He wouldn’t relive his childhood at all.

🍐 : how intelligent is my muse overall? are they smarter than the average person, or less than? are they primarily self-taught, or did they acquire most of their knowledge in school? are they more street smart or book smart? Grant: He never went to college, he joined the Army straight out of high school, so he’s got an extremely basic… standard education. He’s more street smart than anything, and considering That Day, he got a lot of “that’s the how the world works, it’s unfair” type lessons from that tragedy. Alistair: He’s extremely intelligent. He went to college for law, but in the centuries since he’s found modern law is a little too corrupt for his liking, so he went into veterinary science and then studied Psychology on his own just to pass the time.

🍉 : which of the four seasons suits my muse best, and why? Both: Winter. Their personalities and wardrobes match it more, and they both enjoy the aesthetic of it the most.

🍌 : is my muse inclined to help others, or will they only do it when it benefits them, if at all? what makes them this way? has it ever gotten them into trouble, or inconvenienced them? Both: Will help others at the drop of a hat for entirely selfless reasons. They both figure they’ve got awful pasts to make up for, and if little acts of kindness and paying it forward is how they can go about it, so be it. 🍊 : does my muse desire romance? is it something they would actively seek out, or prefer to happen more ‘ naturally? ’ what is their love life like? do they have any exes or past flings, or crushes? Grant: Was very anti-love/anti-thinking-he-deserved love, but then Matt/John came along and was charming and nice and patient and his heart was all “alright get your shit together because T H I S O N E I S F O R Y O U.” Because of that, he’s an absolute mush with his LIs, which is a surprise to everyone outside his immediate friend circle because “wait the stoic guy likes cuddling and talking with faces a couple of inches apart and getting all romantic on holidays?” Alistair: Got his heart shattered into pieces by his first love early in his life, so he was reluctant to ever start anything romantic ever again, but then he fell for Kat platonically, which kick-started his heart back up to be willing to go pursue someone romantically - and then said heartbreaker comes crashing back into his life and then it’s a 50/50 clusterfuck again and he’s not quite sure what to do. 🍓 : how is my muse typically seen by others? does it ring true to who they really are? does their reputation matter to them? Grant: Doesn’t give a damn about his bad stoic/wide/intimidating reputation. He’s not here to be judged, and if people wanna judge a book by its cover, fine, that’s not his problem. He’s got a handful of friends who love him because they bothered to get to know him, he’s invested in them. Alistair: Used to care very strongly about reputation and yearned to be alluring/scary/intimidating all at once, but he learns that was a lot of his mother’s influence, so he goes out of his way to nice people to death so he gets a far more welcome, warm, friendly reputation to make sure it sticks. It makes him stop caring about it so actively/doesn’t make it a staple in his life anymore.

🥝 : does my muse have any ‘ unusual ’ habits, interests, and / or talents? do they hide it, or are they proud of it? Grant: Nothing special at allAlistair: He’s a hemophobic vampire, so he doesn’t go out on hunts with his family- nor does he feed on humans unless it’s necessary. He uses his resources as a vet to ‘feed’ on animals- where he’ll only feed feed if there’s a time crunch, but even then he only takes a standard blood test’s amount and tries to make it last- and he’ll even coach the animal through it, promising that he means it no harm, they’ll be safe in a minute, “Awww, we’re done, see, that wasn’t so bad. Good job, here’s some extra biscuits/cat treats/veggies, you did so well.”

🍋 : what kind of diet does my muse have? do they eat regularly, or the standard 2-3 meals a day? do they have to be reminded to eat, or are they likely to remind others? do they cook, or have others cook for them? do they eat healthily, or not so much? Grant: Unless depression is kicking his ass, he’ll eat balanced meals regularly, with the usual 3x a day. If he does have a day of depression where he misses a meal or so when Nic or John/Matthew is around, they’ll notice and try not to be too forceful about it but they’ll also make a meal with him and try to goad him into eating it, and it usually works. Alistair: Also keeps up with regular meals 3x a day, considering he tries to make human food work as much as possible to avoid interacting with blood in any capacity. If worse comes to worse he’ll cook up/order a super bloody steak and have it, wincing all the while.

🥭 : how important to my muse is their hometown, or where they’re from? are they proud of it, or considered a hometown hero? did they move away, or do they wish to?Grant: Grew up in Texas, and mentioned, he hated it so he avoids going back. He considers Wyoming/his uncles’ ranch home and would live there if he could, but then the job in Hope County came along, and he sticks there for a while and he’s happy, but maaaayyyybbbeee he’d consider dropping hints to John/Matthew that settling back in Wyoming could be nice if they’d be up for it. He’d be okay if they weren’t, though. They could always vacation there, and it’s enough. Alistair: Grew up in the downtown area of [CITY REDACTED] and has a hate/love relationship with it, so when Kat comes along and he joins that crew where they’re on the outskirts of town by the bay, he absolutely falls in love with the weird suburbia feel and makes plans to move there nearly immediately.

#Deputy Grant #Alistair Hardy #amistrio

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timeisacephalopod · 6 years ago

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Without Romance

Have an ironpanther soulmate AU (where you see color when you meet your soulmate) in which Tony is aromantic and poor T’Challa is his soulmate and also confused by the Americans. Though Tony doesn’t use the word ‘aromantic’ because its not a term he’s ever come across before. But its pretty obvious that he’s aro.

Tony is trying to wrangle his damn cat back into her carrier but she’s not really having it when someone taps him on the shoulder. “I should have named you Jar Jar Binks instead of Leia because you are being annoying as fuck,” he hisses at the cat before he turns around to find a pretty attractive dude laughing behind him.

“Beautiful cat. Um. I think you’re my soulmate,” he says and tony snorts.

“Nope, don’t do that shit. Find whoever was behind me,” he says, turning back around and picking up the cat. She places her paws on either side of the carrier and Tony sighs as she does her best to resist going into the fucking carrier. “God damnit Leia, would you just cooperate for ten damn seconds, you don’t ever hate the carrier one you’re in it!” he tells her. He gets an annoyed meow in response.

“Um. There isn’t anyone else but you in this direction,” the guy behind him says and Tony looks up. Huh, that’s weird- turns out he’s right.

Tony shrugs, “doesn’t matter, I don’t to romance so that’s a fluke on your part. Get your eyes checked,” Tony tells him as he finally manages to wrangle the cat into her carrier. “Finally!” he says excitedly, shutting the door before the cat dashes out and he spends another half an hour jamming the animal back in there. This is why he avoids taking her to the vet.

Behind him the guy sputters. “I.. but... you... you must have seen in color when you saw me too,” he says and Tony shakes his head.

“Nope. Cat’s my soulmate. Fitting because like I said, I don’t do romance. Cat’s cute and fuzzy, romance is messy and jammed into fucking everything for no reason at all,” he says, shaking his head. He had desperately turned to the horror genre, a genre he hates on account of what asshole likes to be scared, only to discover that even killing the shit out of people has romantic subplots. He assumed stupidly that maybe the genre, being what it is, wouldn’t have couples and shit but holy hell even a bunch of people dying for some reason needs a romance in it. Tony is genuinely floored by the obsession though he supposes in this soulmate obsessed country he’s the weird one. But damn, just one time he’d like to watch something without that garbage in it.

Even advertisements have soulmates in them. When he’s buying soap the last thing he cares about is soulmates so why are they mentioned again?

“Oh. Well that’s certainly unusual. I... don’t think that changes you being my soulmate though,” the guy says and Tony turns back around.

“I’m going to be blunt with you here. I don’t do relationships, I don’t give a fuck about soulmates, I don’t understand the world’s fascination with them, and I don’t view it as some sort of reason to give shit about you. Not to be a dick but you seeing color means nothing to me and why would it? Its literally a chemical bath on your brain, how’s that supposed to mean anything to me?” he asks, shaking his head. Its not a good reason to start a relationship.

The guy gestures to the cat. “We both like cats. And Star Wars,” he says and Tony rolls his eyes.

“Ninety percent of the world likes Star Wars and cats might have a lower population who love them but that’s still at least thirty percent of the world. Do better,” Tony tells him.

HIs companion smiles a little and Tony’s surprised he hasn’t been slapped. A couple people around them damn well look like they want to slap him and honestly they can fuck off. Its not his fault he’s right. “In my country there’s a word for people like you, the ones who seem to have no interest in soulmates,” he says and well okay, color Tony curious he didn’t expect this guy to actually do better.

“Uh huh. What country is that?” he asks. Accent isn’t familiar to him even if its certainly African. Probably closer to the south of the continent, but that’s about as good as his guess gets.

The guy smiles, “Wakanda,” he says and Tony lets out a loud snort.

“You mean the isolationist nation that hasn’t been involved in world politics since what, pre-colonial times? Buddy,” Tony tells him, shaking his head. Shit, he could have come up with a more believable country than that.

Rhodey watches as Tony proceeds with the most hilariously awkward encounter he’s ever seen him in. Sam sits across from him also watching for his own amusement. “The prince of Wakanda. Gotta admit I didn’t see that coming.”

“Honestly it was the cat I didn’t see coming. I think a prince of a nation we haven’t heard from in hundreds of years is honestly a lot less weird than his cat.” Tony had been ecstatic and honestly Rhodey genuinely thinks it didn’t occur to Tony that the implication of his soulmate being a cat was that he would have sex with it. Obviously that never happened but still, Tony was the only one who didn’t immediately think that.

Sam rolls his eyes at him. “Only because you have some weird assumptions about soulmates,” he tells him and Rhodey sighs.

“Yeah, you have a fancy degree or whatever but I have eyes. I know how soulmates work.”

“We don’t actually, and who can be soulmates with what degree of acceptance is entirely based on the time period we’re talking about. Like Jim Crow era America was not cool with interracial soulmates, but especially if one was black and the other was white. And gay people, and platonic connections, and familial connections- the further we get out of the accepted norms of romance the less accepted those connections are. Animal and human, for example, tends to be frowned upon because we assume soulmates look like only one narrow definition of romantic acceptability,” Sam tells him like he’s never said all this before.

“Then why are all the soulmates in America romantic?” Rhodey asks.

“They aren’t dingbat, the ones that don’t have that connection aren’t like Tony and flaunting it about. You think interracial soulmates were out there yelling about their soulmate being a black person? Probably not when they’d both get killed for being defective. Tony being famous and well loved probably saved his ass from worse speculations than cat fucking. Which is an absurd conclusion to come to, by the way.”

Uh huh. Sam can go on the way he does all he wants but Rhodey wants real proof, not two and a half people in a couple studies who claim that they don’t have a romantic connection to their soulmate. Though it is pretty clear Tony loves his cat in a not romantic way. But then Tony never really has done the romance thing.

Case and point, the poor bastard looks pinched across the table with T’Challa and he keeps shooting Rhodey ‘help me’ looks. “Should we go save him?” Rhodey asks Sam and he shakes his head.

“No. He stole that last dumpling last night and his pasty ass can suffer there,” Sam says, glaring at Tony. Rhodey snorts and starts laughing because Sam has always been a petty bastard but that has to take the cake.

T’Challa looks confused and Tony’s never met anyone who doesn’t assume all soulmates are romantic ones. “But Tony’s soulmate is a cat. Do you... do you think he has... relations with the cat? You don’t, right?” he asks, giving Tony a panicked look that disappears fast presumably because he looks so disgusted.

“No, T’Challa what the fuck?” He relaxes some, giving one of his guards in orange a relieved look. For a second her harsh exterior fades as she cracks just a bit of a smile before she goes back to looking like she’s ready to kill a man. Or woman. Or whatever, she doesn’t look like she’d be picky about it.

“No I don’t think Tony fucks the cat,” Rhodey tells him. “But he’s weird.”

“He’s not weird, this happens all the time in Wakanda. What do you do when soulmates are so far apart in age they can’t possibly hold a romantic interest in each other?” he asks, frowning.

“Assume the older one is a pedophile and throw them in jail,” Sam says. “Don’t look at me like that I shit you not that is an actual American law and will land you on the sex offender registry.”

That’s the most absurd shit Tony has ever heard and clearly everyone in the room, even romantic soulmate fan number one Rhodey, agrees with that.

“Americans are stupid,” T’Challa mumbles. “No offense,” he offers to Tony only.

He shrugs. “Yeah I mean. True. People printed stories about me and the cat for like four years consistently. Like sure, climate change is going to fuck us all but lets talk about that one guy who loves his cat and our speculations about it based on nothing but our assumptions of what soulmates need to be even though its obvious that’s not what’s happening here. It really is exhausting.”

“What about family members that are soulmates?” T’Challa asks. “Or soulmates who don’t share a sexuality that would inspire a romantic connection? Or people like you who don’t have an interest in romance at all but still have a soulmate?” He nods at Tony specifically. In Wakanda they have a word for it not that Tony can pronounce it. Apparently the loose translation is ‘without romance.’

“Oh list is longer than that depending on where we are. Pretty much anything that wasn’t a white heterosexual Christian couple was thrown right out of all research on the basis of being ‘perverted’ so uh. Yeah, here its romance or bust. We’ve gotten a little more lax with interracial pairings and gay people but they still get a bunch of shit. And people like Tony are basically unheard of.”

Tony frowns, “that’s not true, my Twitter feed is constantly lit up with people thanking me for saying that I have no interest in romance and soulmates because they feel the same way. We aren’t rare, people choose not to see us even when I’m literally yelling in their face.” Like with Rhodey, who really only seems to accept that Tony is different, not that his perceptions in totality are wrong. Even when Sam, his beloved soulmate, points out the flaws on Rhodey’s views he still doesn’t see it.

“In Wakanda we are aware that soulmate connections are as unique and varying as the people in the relationships. I assumed that romance thing was just the British,” he says, shaking his head. Because most of his travels outside Wakanda, Tony has learned, were to Europe though he stuck mostly around Britain in particular. He’s obviously been to quite a few African nations but he doesn’t seem to have stuck around long enough to get a lasting feel of their soulmate culture. Tony’s pretty sure if he had he wouldn't have concluded that only the British act that way with soulmates.

Sam shakes his head, “nah. I mean it’s a European idea and the wide spread assumptions about romance and soulmates being interchangeable did come out of European colonization but by now more of the world believes romance and soulmates are the same than not.”

Tony has no idea why Sam thinks that’s a useful area of study or why he chose that after the army but here he is. And apparently he loves his soulmate counseling job. Tony’s pretty sure he’d shoot himself if he were Sam.

“Why is it that ninety percent of the world’s useless ideas manage to come from Europeans shoving their culture down everyone’s throats?” T’Challa asks, irritated.

“In Europe’s slight defense if someone else off and colonized they’d probably do the same thing,” Tony says.

“But they didn’t, now did they? Regardless, American assumptions about soulmates are absurd. Imagine ignoring such obvious evidence the way you do! Throwing people in jail because their soulmate connection is not what you deem acceptable only because your definition is narrow and restrictive- absurd!” he says, shaking his head.

Shuri snorts and starts laughing. “Oh come on big brother, if you’re going to tell tall tales about Americans at least make them believable. No one would assume a man would have sex with his cat because the cat is his soulmate that’s ridiculous!” she says. Fuck Tony was born in the wrong damn country. Shuri looks between him and T’Challa and frowns. “He’s not lying, is he?” she asks him and Tony shakes his head. She lets out a long sigh and looks as lost and confused as T’Challa had when Tony first explained this all to him.

“So now we should expose him to proper soulmate culture because his culture has victimized him, teaching him there is something wrong with him because he didn’t have an interest in soulmates,” T’Challa says, shaking his head.

Truthfully he still doesn’t but he actually likes T’Challa and if nothing else no one else is allowed into Wakanda and the country is stunning. Might as well take advantage while he gets to know T’Challa better.

#ironpanther #tony x t'challa #aromatic tony stark #fanfiction

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peachymhaechan · 6 years ago

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“How could you not know?”

Genre: angst to fluff

Warning: language, underage drinking, drug use, mentions of sex

Pairing: Haechan x female reader

I’m sorry but this gif killed me so now you all have to suffer with me:) love you, babes!!

you and donghyuck had been best friends for as long as you could remember

you had gone to the same elementary school but didn’t really talk until middle school

the first time y’all had talked to each other was a full on roast session

he walked up to you with a few of his friends and went, “who let you out of the house with that shirt?”

oh no, sis

he did NOT just say that to you

“who let you out of the house with that damn attitude? fix yourself before you try and come for me, dumbass.”

and that was that

he looked at you with wide eyes and a blush on his face and he was Sold

you owned his ass and he owned your ass from that point on

you two became inseparable pretty quickly

anywhere one would go, the other would follow

that included parties, sleepovers, vacations, etc

your parents loved hyuck so much

they loved him like he was their son

sometimes you would have to stay after school and you’d get home to find hyuck sitting at your dining room table with your parents, eating dinner and gossiping like he was part of the family

anyways

you and hyuck were very close, the definition of best friends

as a result, you both had the same friends for the most part

it was senior year and most of your friends had left and gone to college, but you had a solid group of friends: renjun, jeno, jaemin, Chenle, and jisung

Chenle and Jisung were your freshmen babies okay

haechan was like their dad and you were Mom™️

full on Mother

one time some little freshman bully tried being mean to your boys

the entire friend group (aka Dreamies) were not putting up with it, but you went fucking ape shit

you dead ass found him after school in the parking lot

you waited in your car for three hours for the dick to be done with baseball practice so you could kindly talk to him:)

and by that I mean scare the ever living shit out of his bitch ass

to make a long story short, you basically said that if he ever tried to talk bad about the boys, talked to the boys, looked at the boys, or even breathed near the boys you would show up at his house at three in the morning and cut his dick off and tape it to his forehead, then everyone at school would call him a rated r unicorn :)

needless to say, the boy started crying, ran home, and jisung and Chenle never dealt with him again!!

so one day you were driving your children to school

hyuck was in the passenger seat with the aux, jamming out at seven in the morning, how the fuck did he have so much energy?

the other boys squeezed in the back (very illegal, pls don’t do this!! not safe at all, babes, pls be good drivers and follow the laws of the road and be conscious of your safety and the safety of those around you!!)

you stopped at the local coffee shop bc hello?? tired teenagers trying to make it through the day

so y’all drank your coffee and jammed out to shitty early 2000′s pop while on the way to school

when you pulled into the parking lot, nobody wanted to go inside

I mean,,, it’s school, who tf really wants to go to school when you don’t have to

so yall waited in the parking lot until right before the bell for first period rang

during that time, hyuck took the opportunity to tell everyone about a college party mark had invited everyone to

“what??”

“mark told me to invite all of the Dreamies to a party that him and his friends are having, and-”

“A college party?”

“Yes, and-”

“Where there will be alcohol?”

“Well, yeah, and-”

“No way.”

you stood your ground (at first) which made everyone upset

“But Y/N, we want to go!” a chorus of whines answered you

“No way, you’re all too young, and I don’t want to have to drag your bitch asses home when you get plastered,” you argued

“Y/N we are literally the same age,” Renjun, Jeno, Jaemin and Hyuck all said at the same time

“Okay but who drives y’all everywhere? Who gives y’all the answers to the homework? Who fakes your parents’ signatures to get y’all out of school early? Who helps you when you are injured and becomes a nurse? Who lets y’all take over my house when my parents aren’t home? Who cooks y’all food all the time? Who stands up for y’all when people try and be mean?”

radio silence was the response you got

“That’s what I thought. We might be the same age, but I take care of you guys all the damn time, and most of the time, nobody notices. Plus, Chenle and Jisung are fucking babies. There is no way in hell they are going to a college fucking frat party.”

for a couple of days, you had won that argument

but then you were facetiming hyuck one night at two in the morning and he managed to convince you otherwise

“FINE FUCK OKAY, WE CAN GO TO THE PARTY”

cue his squeal and “thank you thank you thank you!”

the next day at school you told the boys to be ready in time for the party

“if you’re not ready and at the door when I get to your house, you’re not going. You can walk,” you told them, still a very strict mom

they all were very excited obviously

bc I mean,,, wow very cool, high schoolers at a college party?? wow very cool

the days leading up to the party were normal

for you, at least

normal drives to school, normal things during school like sleeping through college algebra, skipping class with hyuck to watch Netflix in the basement janitor’s closet, and normal drives home from school, normal dinners with hyuck and his parents, and normal facetimes at one in the morning with hyuck

like I said earlier, you did everything with that boy

no wonder so many people at school thought you were dating

I mean, that and the whole holding hands and hyuck kissing your cheek and hyuck constantly clinging to you thing

but ya know sometimes a homie just needs a kiss on the lips😔🤠

but then the day of the party came and all the boys could talk about was what they would do at said party

“What do I wear?” Jisung asked

“Wear that cute little umbrella hat and your “mommy’s little angel” shirt, dumbass. you wanna be flexin on them hoes, don’t you?” you replied

“How do I not get drunk but still drink?” Jeno thought out loud

“Drink water, fool,” you answered in typical mom fashion

“I’m scared, what if there are scary college kids there that make fun of me?”

“Then Y/N starts a fist fight and we leave the party early, no big deal,” Hyuck told a worried Chenle

anyways

it was time for the party

and you were lookin cute or whateva

so you left the house- an EMPTY house bc parents were out of town, YEET

first stop: bitch ass hyuck’s

you honked the horn to let him know you were outside and he ran outside with two bowls of ice cream in his hands

“Hyuck?? What the fuck??” you asked as he got in the passenger seat and handed you a glass bowl, full of ice cream

“I thought you’d want some,” he sweetly replied, thoughtful as ever

“I mean yeah, I’m always a slut for ice cream, but I’m literally driving.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll feed you.”

and so he fed you spoon fulls of ice cream as you drove to pick up your dolphin, flirt, panicked gay, toddler, and aggressive baby

once they all were in the car and ready to go (aka nervous as shit), y’all headed out to Mark’s party

you knew you were in the right place bc y’all could hear the music from the party a block away

bitch?? it’s 11 o clock?? aren't your neighbors pissed??

but then you remembered you were surrounded by different frats and sororities and nobody within a three mile radius cared bc they were most likely shitfaced, so. ya know

you parked the car and piled out

you ever see a clown car?? bc that was y’all getting out

anyways

there are string lights thrown everywhere, beer cans littering the front yard, some guy throwing up in the bushes, a couple making out on the front steps, and a random fog machine in the doorway

cool

the freshies and even your fellow seniors were in awe

you were the only one who hadn’t been pumped for this party but you were starting to look forward to it??

but you had to be the designated driver:/

sike hyuck could drive

you led the group of scared but excited little ducklings into the house and were greeted by a tipsy Mark picking you up in his drunken happiness

“Y/N!!!!” he yelled into your ear and fucking. spun you around and shit

“Hello, Mark! How much have you had to drink so far?” you asked, shocked that he could be that fucked up when the party had only started less than an hour ago

“So much!! Haha anyways-” he set you down on the floor and greeted the others

he knew the freshmen babies from going to hyuck’s “bangers” and shit

and by banger I mean the #gang watching john mulaney in hyuck’s basement and playing cards against humanity until three in the morning

he gave the boys hugs, him and hyuck did their dope ass handshake, and he took everybody into the kitchen for drinks and to socialize

“this is my frat house, do you guys like it?”

“Mark, since we are best friends I think you deserve my honesty....” you started and glanced at Hyuck

“It’s a shithole,” you both said at the same time

Mark laughed and told you both, “Thanks, I appreciate it. It usually looks better when red Solo cups aren’t laying everywhere.”

mark led y’all into the kitchen and the first smell that hit your nose was alcohol, and the second was weed

luckily the people carrying a bong left the kitchen and went out in the backyard so the initial impact was gone

the scent still lingered tho which was not so cool!!

and as a result, made you latch onto your children

there were people in there making out, and they were about one clothing item away from doing the deed in the middle of the kitchen

Chenle and Jisung grabbed your hands so you knew they were //afraid//

Mark stopped and said hi to people along the way, all matching the stereotypical frat boy look

“Hey Yuta, pour everyone a drink, would you?” he asked some guy standing at the island with a bottle of vodka in his hands

the boy oozed narcissism and made you want to punch him in the face when he made eye contact with you and winked

the boy had the audacity to wink ?? boy if you don’t

donghyuck scooched closer to you and introduced himself

“hey, I’m donghyuck.”

“I’m Yuta, and you are?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows at you

“Jailbait. Fuck off and hurry up with the drinks.”

a cackle sounded behind the group and a few boys appeared next to mark

“I think that’s the first time any girl has ever talked to Yuta like that. I’m Johnny and this is Jaehyun, Taeyong and Lucas.”

opinion on Johnny: chill, very tall

opinion on Jaehyun: tall, pretty smile

opinion on Taeyong: sharp features, mom friend vibe

opinion on Lucas: tall (again), fuckboy but a sweetheart

opinion on Yuta: fuckboy and full fuckboy at that

Yuta handed your drink and you took a sip while everyone watched, waiting for you to make a face or something

“Really?” Jisung asked, shocked that you didn’t have a problem with it

“Mama didn’t raise no pussy,” you told him, taking another sip

Yuta handed everyone their drinks (thankfully he gave Chenle and Jisung hardly any in their cups, bless up bitches)

Mark dragged y’all outside where the pool was

and bc there was a pool there, there were a bunch of drunks swimming

and beer pong set up, which meant more drunk party goers

“you still have to meet more people!!” - drunk mark gesturing to literally everyone in the damn building

“this is Ten or Shitty Phone, whichever you prefer,” he said, smiling at a short boy who was engrossed in a game of beer pong

“Doyoung and Jungwoo....” the two boys were terribly dancing to a Chase Atlantic song

“Winwin, Kun, and Taeil..... that should be it.... I don't know half of the people here to be 100% honest with you guys.”

“Great, thanks! We will leave you to it, dude. I’m sure we will find you later on in the night,” Hyuck said, telling Mark to go and socialize at his own party instead of just standing with the lame high school kids that were there for some reason

jeno and jaemin clung to each other, fighting over who would be on their teams for beer pong while Chenle and Jisung were fascinated by everything

“wanna play beer pong?” Hyuck asked, to which you automatically agreed

let’s just say that wasn’t your first rodeo to beer pong and you knew you could kick some major ass at it

“you and me on a team?”

“yes, you fool.”

so you two played against the winner of the game that was going on at the time (Yuta and Taeyong) and completely forgot about your children oof

since they won the previous game, they went first and missed the first shot:)

you and Hyuck did rock paper scissors to see who would go first on your side

you won, so you picked up the ball and got it in a cup on your first try (you go sis!!)

Yuta and Taeyong looked at each other in shock and also slight worry while Hyuck smugly smirked like //yeah bitch that’s my bff, what’s good//

to make a long story short, you and Hyuck only missed one shot the entire game

Yuta and Taeyong, however, missed seven

obviously team full sun won

by the time you had played over half the party guests, both you had quite the buzz while Hyuck didn’t drink that much so he was A-Okay

after a short bit of time, you decided “It’s too hot out here”

“Y/N, so help me God, don’t-” Hyuck started but got stopped mid sentence by buzzed Y/N starting to strip

rip to your favorite jean jacket that was ripped off and thrown into the pool

rest easy queen, you will be missed:(

after that, the party was a blur

you thought they’d play a bunch of rap but they played indie and alternative over the speakers (not that there are any complaints here tbh)

occasionally you’d spot your kids and stop to talk

of course there was a red solo cup in your hand, full of some hard ass liquor that you definitely should not be having

“RENJUNNIE, MY BABY BOY!!!”

“Y/N, I’m two months older than you-” only to be stopped by a completely drunk Y/N pinching his cheeks

let’s be real tho: we’d all love to pinch that boy’s cheeks, sober or not

“Y/N, where is Donghyuck?” Renjun asked, slinging an arm around your shoulders and trying to get through a crowd of people to find Hyuck

“I don’t know but I miss him.... can we find him? Oh, wait, can we find Jeno and Jaeminie and Jisungie and Lele? I need to make sure that they’re okay!!”

“Y/N honey, I think you’re the one that they should be checking on to make sure you’re okay...”

“Junnie, I love you so much, I hope you know that. I’m so incredibly glad you are in my life, and- oh, is that tequila?! Doyoung, be a doll and pour me a glass of that, would you?”

cue Renjun trying to motion to Doyoung to stop but doyoung really had nothing to lose so

you grabbed the cup from doyoung before Renjun could reach it so he was very :)))))) oh really doyoung haha :)))) yotl bitch !! haha :)))

he dragged you to the backyard where donghyuck was talking to mark

“HYUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!”

about half of the people outside turned to you, who had been practically laying on Renjun

you yelled hyuck’s name with your head down and after a couple of seconds you popped right up like nothing was wrong and walked over to him

him and mark looked at each other like //fuck dude//

“my boys!!” drunk y/n cooed

you had no idea where jeno or jaemin or Jisung or Chenle were but it was okay bc at least you had three of your sons together

“I want to go swimming. Mark, can I go swimming?” you asked, sounding completely normal for a couple of seconds before cackling and telling everyone that it was a false alarm

“Y/N, honey, I don’t think that is a good idea, please do not go in the-”

nice try, mark. you tried.

the devil works hard but shit faced Y/N works harder

within seconds, you ripped off your shirt and shorts and shoes and jumped in

which then caused everyone to stare, which then caused everyone to realize what a good idea swimming was, which then caused everyone to jump in the pool

meanwhile, Hyuck, Mark, Renjun and the others (who were all standing on the side and getting videos of everything your kooky ass did, thanks guys) were in pure shock

never did they ever think that you’d be the difficult drunk

but whaddya know!! life sure is crazy sometimes :)

“Y/N, please get out, Y/N, please-” Renjun kept saying, reaching down for your hand on the side of the pool

you remained unbothered tho

until Hyuck came over and all he did was give you a look but you understood and became very uwu

“hyuckie!! my baby hyuckie!! I love you so much!!” you screamed and swam over to him

he smiled and said, “I love you too, Y/N, but I need you to get out of the pool.”

“Why?? Are we going to get something else to drink?? Are we going to dance??”

“Yes we can dance, but only if you get out of the pool,” he said

he helped you out of the pool and put his jacket around you and mouthed to Renjun “get the keys and get in the car”

cue Renjun immediately collecting the others and bolting to the car

“Donghyuckie!! Can we talk to Mark before we go and get another drink??”

“Yes, sweetheart, let’s go say goodbye to him and thank him for inviting us, yeah?”

“Are we leaving so soon?”

“Yes, unfortunately we have to go home.”

“But why?”

“Because the party will be done soon and we have to go and get Jisung and Chenle home before their bedtime.”

“TIME TO TUCK IN THE BABIES!!”

“Yes, exactly!! Now say bye to Mark!! Bye, Mark, thank you for inviting us!!”

“Bye, Mark, I love you! I will miss you so much, thank you for inviting me! I love you so much, I- I would kill someone for you, you know that? I will literally murder someone if it means you are happy. I will do it. You say the word and I will cut off the problem immediately, and-”

mark was fucking shaking in his boots but also slightly flattered??

wow, get you a best friend that is as dedicated as you are to mark

mark cut you off by hugging you and giving Hyuck a look that said //get her home right now lmao she is fucking wasted//

so before you got the chance to run off (Hyuck already knew you were gonna do that smh) Hyuck threw you over his shoulder and carried you out

Renjun, jeno, jaemin, Chenle and Jisung followed and watched as angry y/n pounded on hyuck’s shoulders and back because she wanted put down

“DOYOUNG! TAEYONG! MAKE HYUCK PUT ME DOWN!”

“sorry, sweetheart,” Taeyong said, knowing that Hyuck wasn’t doing that just for the fun of it

“JOHNNY, TEN, YUTA, WINWIN PLEASE HELP ME!!!”

they laughed, and Yuta said, “Nope, looks like Donghyuck has everything under control.”

JUNGWOO, KUN, LUCAS GET ME DOWN- JAEHYUN, PLEASE HELP-”

meanwhile, Jeno had his phone out and recorded the whole thing

Hyuck managed to make it through the party and to the car without losing anyone

AND without you causing any serious damage to his back

Renjun ran to the car first and unlocked it and started it up

Renjun got in the driver’s seat, Jisung got in the passenger seat, and the rest of y’all piled in the back

again, illegal, don't do that

also don’t drink underage

you sprawled out on everyone’s laps, your feet on jaemin’s lap and head on hyuck’s lap

“Hyuckie, play with my hair please,” you whined, looking up at him with puppy dog eyes

of course he played with your hair, he wasn’t a damn idiot and also heard you talking about how you’d kill for mark so.....

“Renjun, take the backway, there is almost never any cops there.”

“I know.”

Renjun tried his best to drive home as quick as he could even though he had your ass in the back of the car

“Can we stop at McDonald’s?”

“No, Y/N.”

“But chicken nuggets!!”

“We have those at home.”

“No we don’t!!”

“No nuggets, Y/N.”

and then you started crying real tears because no nuggets:(

but finally you guys got home safe, thank you Renjun

the people in front got out first, then jeno and jaemin who were by your feet

Chenle and donghyuck helped you out, helping you walk since you were too wobbly to do it yourself

Renjun unlocked your front door and everyone went inside

they all practically lived there so they knew where the blankets and pillows were, and they went into the kitchen to get snacks

Jeno ran upstairs to get clothes that the boys had left there before in case of an emergency sleepover

Hyuck helped you up the stairs

“Do you want to take a shower?” he asked you

“Yes. Can you bring me clean pajamas please?”

“Yeah, go jump in the shower and I’ll lay them on the toilet.”

You somehow managed to shower without throwing up or falling over and when you got out you found new pajamas laying on the toilet and that Hyuck had taken your dirty clothes (aka your bra and underwear and his jacket since you stripped at the party)

you stumbled to your room, where Hyuck sat on your bed and played with the frayed end of one of your blankets

“I got you a glass of water and medicine,” he said when you walked in the room

you flopped down on the bed next to him and laid face down on your pillow

“Are you okay?”

“Mmmmmmmphghapppp” (y’all know what that means)

“I’m going to go downstairs now-”

“Don’t.”

he couldn’t hear you because you mumbled, so he walked away but before he was out of your reach you grabbed his arm and said, “Stay.”

he stood still for a couple of seconds, just processing what you said

finally, he laid down next to you and rubbed your back bc he knew you were feeling very not so good

“You okay?”

“No. I feel terrible,” you told him, not slurring your words anymore (yay!)

“Well, you drank a shit ton, so I’m not surprised.”

“I don’t think I’m ever going to drink that much ever again,” you groaned, rolling over to look at him

Hyuck smiled, but noticed you rolled over to look at him

poor boy was so whipped that he stared into your eyes and didn’t even realize it

“What are you looking at?” you asked, smirking a bit

“You.”

your brows went up and all you could think was //oh shit//

“I like you,” Hyuck boldly admitted, deciding that that was it, enough was enough,

he was going to finally admit his crush on you after five years

it was like he was the drunk one and not you

you responded with a stunned silence

“How could you not know? I’ve liked you since we first met. Any time I’m around you, I feel safe, I feel- I feel like me, like I can breathe, like I can do anything I put my heart to. You give me butterflies in my stomach, you make me dizzy, you give me reason to try and do my best in life. It’s you, Y/N.”

o o f

y/n.exe has stopped working

“That’s good to hear,” you said, smiling and blushing

“Why?” Hyuck asked, confusion and scared bc he just laid his heart out to you

“Because the feeling is mutual.”

Hyuck immediately broke out into a big smile and started giggling

“I’d kiss you but I’m still kind of drunk and fee shitty and my mouth probably tastes like alcohol.”

he smiled and then yawned, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest

“I really shouldn’t be doing this in case you throw up but I don’t really care, this is... nice,” Hyuck whispered into your hair

“But the lights are on and hurting my head,” you whined, wrapping your arms around his waist and snuggling closer

“I’m too lazy to get up..... RENJUN!!”

cue tired Renjun running up the stairs bc he thought something was genuinely wrong

Renjun burst into the room yelling “IS EVERYTHING OKAY? WHA- yo what the fuck?”

“Shhhhh, she’s asleep. Can you turn the lights off please? I’m scared to move and piss her off,” Hyuck sheepishly asked, partially lying

there was a reason he yelled for Renjun

he knew Renjun wouldn’t make a big deal out of it but if you or Hyuck ever crossed him, he’d tell everyone in a heart beat

so all you guys had to do was not do him dirty and y’all would be okay !!

you fell asleep in hyuck’s arms and woke up a couple hours later with one bitch of a hangover

but you being you, you wanted to cook food for the boys so you forced yourself to get out of bed

somehow you got away from Hyuck without waking him up

you went downstairs and saw jeno, jaemin, Renjun, Chenle, and Jisung all in one big pile on your living room floor, blankets and pillows thrown everywhere

you took a picture of the boys to use as blackmail (but also because those boys were your best friends and the most important people in your life and wanted to treasure one of the rare moments where everyone was 100% peaceful and calm)

you started cooking pancakes and bacon, all while nursing a hangover

Jisung was the first one to get up, and he wandered into the kitchen half asleep with bedhead

he sat down at the dining room table and zoned out

you set a glass of orange juice down in front of him and ruffled his hair, saying “Close your mouth, you’ll catch flies.”

one by one the boys woke up and wandered to the source of the delicious smell coming from the kitchen

“Y/N, are you wearing sunglasses?” Jeno asked, stealing a piece of bacon and going into the dining room

“Yes. Don’t steal any more bacon, you fucker.”

donghyuck was the last one to get up, so he stumbled into the kitchen and didn’t even notice the glasses, but he saw you and

homeboy

homeboy done did it

he gave you a back hug

in front of all of the kids ?!

you weren’t upset about it tho lol

he rested his head on your shoulder and said, “Damn, we knew you were a classy bitch but you didn’t have to flex on us this early in the morning.”

“Hyuck it’s literally 11 in the morning and I have a hangover,” you told him, leaving your spot to take the food over to the table

Hyuck smirked and sat down next to you, avoiding the many stares of the others

others including mark, who randomly was sitting at your dining room table?? you asked no questions

“Close your mouths, you all look like trout,” you replied to the stares, putting a couple of pancakes and bacon on your plate

“Are you guys going to explain or should I ask what in the fuck is going on?” Jaemin asked, cutting right to the chase

and of course Renjun sipped on his orange juice, knowing exactly what in the fuck was going on

“I mean.... Y/N is cute or whatever so....” Hyuck announced, blushing and trying to act tough but failing miserably

“He’s alright I guess...”

“Well it’s about damn time!” mark exclaimed

“Mark how the fuck did you get in my house?”

“I still have the spare key your parents gave me four years ago,” he admitted, shoving his face full of pancakes

the rest of breakfast was spent eating with your boys and reviewing the night before

you said, “I DID WHAT?!” at least ten times (I can’t say I blame you tbh)

by the end of breakfast, everyone was full and had laughed so much that their stomach hurt

they all helped you clean up and do the dishes (angels!!) and then it was time for everyone to leave:(

since some of the boys lived close, they just walked home

but Renjun and jisung’s parents had to pick them up (and since hello!! your parents weren’t home!! they had their parents pick them up from hyuck’s house next door, oooo clever boys)

and since you and Hyuck were ever so kind, y’all drove mark back to his frat

Hyuck drove tho, you were still too fucked up to drive so you sat in the passenger seat and mark was in the back blabbering away

when everyone except for you and Hyuck had gone, it was.... pretty nice

instead of beating around the bush, y’all got right to the chase

“want to go on a date on Saturday?” Donghyuck asked, not caring to phrase it differently since the feeling was mutual

“Yeah, sounds good, text me details,” you said, giving him one last hug before he went home

as soon as he got home, the boy texted you details for your date (a moment he had been dreaming about since middle school)

and let’s be real, you had been waiting for that moment for a really long time and you’re glad drunk y/n was impulsive because hey!

you snagged the best boyfriend ever! and there is nothing you wouldn’t do for him, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for you!

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