#Lavandula and Caster

[cupcakesmoothie]

✨ Writing Process✨

Just me coming up with a angsty backstory on the spot-

And playing it off like I didn't just do all that in a groupchat and bombard them with a wall of angsty backstory at 7 o clock in the morning due to my non-existent sleep schedule

Holy SHIT I'm really feeling the angst right now

[cupcakesmoothie]

Reality is hard.

[cupcakesmoothie]

I've made a couple personas, personas being characters you make based of you.

Ignoring the fact that if you're a writer a lot of characters you make could be interpreted as personas, and that personas are sort of self-inserts, or just someone you wish you were, I'd like to talk about my personas.

I like talking about it because I've got this thing where I just like having tons of reasons for why I do things or why certain characters act specific ways, but am (Are?) never able to really talk about it since no one really ever questions that.

So far, there are Lavandula and Caster Latifolia (Which you might recognize from the Circus AU), Syringa Snowfox (I came up with the last name recently, also I've decided her Chinese name is 狐雪情), and Lily (She's pretty new)

So Lavandula was the first one I made, mostly because I was asked to make one (I don't remember why). Her hair is lavender coloured, because it's my favourite colour. She doesn't show emotions, she's basically a kuudere, and is a Very Good Child.

Basically, she acts that way because I used to wonder what would happen if I acted like her (Before I even made her as a character), was a good child who did all my chores, studied, never gave my mom a thing to be mad or complain about, but also didn't show any emotions, or talked.

I did think of a story with a character like that, a boy who's kinda rowdy and doesn't do that well in school, is a huge headache to his mom, and one day she goes to witch for help and the witch, after some back and forth with some warnings and stuff, gives her a magic book. So the mom puts the book in the boy's room like she's told, and the next day the boy is suddenly super responsible, hard working, tidy, etc.

The mom is pretty happy about this, since her boy is finally doing his chores without being told, studying in school, and just being the embodiment of that kid your parents compare you to. But then he stops giving her a kiss goodbye when he leaves for school, a hug when he comes home, stops making jokes, is always busy studying, and she starts to miss the child he once was. So then she goes to the witch again to ask for help and I don't remember how it ends. There's also a quote that goes something like, "A good child isn't a child." Or something like that (It was probably a lot more profound, but I can't remember how it went.)

So Lavandula is basically like that. And Caster is her older brother because of course she has an older brother.

Caster and Lavandula are like my extrovert/happy side and my introvert/melancholic side. Caster has black hair and usually wears brightly coloured clothes (Mint green and baby blue were the colours I gave him) while Lavandula has lavender hair and tends to wear black or gray clothes.

You could in sense say that Caster was more like me, with his personality and looks (Only because of the hair), but that wouldn't be true because Caster is so much more confident than how I usually am, and is more like when I'm out with my friends (Or my cousins because I have no friends I go out with). Lavandula balances this out with her shy, quiet nature, which is how I am at school and in public. They are, simply put, different sides of me, put into extremes.

You cannot have one without the other, they have to be in a pair to be, well, me.

And then I was invited to the Circus AU project, where my friend uses personas as characters and we all work in a circus.

Caster and Lavandula have always been more OC (Original Character) than Persona, and this project let me work on them a lot more, giving them extra personality, a backstory, fleshing them out as characters a lot more, and also a last name.

Now, Caster and Lavandula are mostly their own people now, and talking more about it here would make this post very long and it’d probably get lost (Thanks for reading this far though, you sort of didn’t have to and sometimes I get worried about talking so much about things like this, but this is Tumblr and if someone reads it congratulations you’ll get to know more about me and my thought process and if you don’t, well, that’s fair.)

So we’ll move on to Syringa Snowfox. 

Syringa is more of my internet persona/avatar, and is like my appearance to the internet. She is a fox, specifically a kitsunemimi, has bright blue hair and wears pink/purple (Lilac, if you will) clothes. She mostly wears a jacket/hoodie over a T-shirt and whatever long pants. 

She is a fox because I like foxes. Her hair is bright blue because I really liked how Bliss (From The Powerpuff Girls) looked, with her purple clothes and blue hair. This is reflected on how I would make characters in game as my avatar. 

Interesting fact, when I showed her to my cousin, he said he could tell it was me because of the colour scheme, pose, and fox features, since I used it so much. I was very proud of the fact that I was able to capture a persona so well he could tell it was supposed to be me.

And then there’s Lily.

Lily is a cat girl.

She’s basically me, but a cat girl. Cat ears and tail.

This is because I have been known to act like a cat, reacting with “mYEH” when you poke me in the sides, and having the instinct to meow at random times. I was also once described to “Make sounds like a small animal” by a close friend of mine when I used to hang out at her house and I find that to be compliment since that was pretty much what I was going for (I am weird, but as my brother put it, “It’s a you kinda weird”). 

I made her because of the fact that even though I acted more like a cat, I had a fox persona (Am I a furry?), and me being me, I decided to give that a reason. 

Lily is... more like me than Syringa is, kind of. Like the real me, instead of a persona. Maybe because of the fact that Syringa is my public appearance. So in the way that Syringa is me in public, Lily is me, in real life. Sorta edgy, likes symbolism and deeper meaning behind things, very weird, and Syringa is this smiley (I smile as nervous habit), happy-go-lucky, giggly fox. 

All of them are me. Based off or are. They are my personas.

Now about their names-

I am very proud of how I named them so of course I’ll go off on a tangent about it.

Caster and Lavandula Latifolia:

Now, I have probably talked about this in a different post, but basically, Caster is because caster sugar (Also known as refined sugar) that is often used in baking (Cupcakes, if you will). Lavandula is the scientific name for lavender and also my favourite flower, and I like science, so why not incorporate that into her name (Also lavenders can be used as spices in baking)? The part I’m really proud of is the surname/last name. Latifolia is a type of lavender, and the name of a brand of Malaysian margarine. So Lavandula Latifolia is Broadleaf Lavender, and Caster Latifolia is sugar and margarine, ingredients commonly used in baking (Cupcakes!).

Syringa Snowfox Vulagopus:

The reason why lavender is my favourite colour is that when I was in primary, doing slides for computer class, without fail I would always pick this specific colour, sometimes for titles, backgrounds, etc. When you hovered the mouse over it, it was called lavender. I realised that it was my favourite colour. And then, recently, I found out it was closer to lilac than it was lavender. Syringa is the scientific name for lilac.

Addendum (24/3/23): Her surname, Vulagopus, is a combination of the words Vulpes Lagopus, the scientific name for an arctic fox.

I got her Chinese name after her surname, so we’ll talk about that.

狐雪情 (Hu2Xue3Qing2):

The 狐 is for 狐狸, which is Chinese for fox. 雪青 is Chinese for Lilac, but 雪 also means snow, and instead of 青, which is green, I used 情, which kind of means love.

Also Snowfox because she is an Arctic fox.

Lily:

Lily is my favourite girl name. I liked Lily because my favourite flowers used to be Lotus flowers and lilypads were often associated with them (Ignoring the fact lilies are also their own flower.) 

Lily because I don’t yet want to reveal my real name. Lily because when I got teased about my real name I wished my name could be Lily instead.

Also I just like L names in general.

[cupcakesmoothie]

Haven't done these in a while! They have no T-shirts this is not fair

My OC Lavandula and. K-Kaoru Hakaze in. In his. In his Butler Cafe outfit. I think I did a pretty good job

Both of them crave love

Mutuals pspspspsp

@senorpugbean @loud-whistling-yes @dimittrikovk (Feel free to ignore though)

A picrew for you! Make you/your OC x Your fave!

Here's Jin and I! 🥰

Tags for the lovelies: @aquagirl1978 @violettduchess @redheadkitty11 @atelieredux @ikehoe @gilbertvonobsidian @rhodolitesroseforclavis @kissmetwicekissmedeadly @jozhenji @scorchieart @leonscape @batteryrose @dark-frosted-heart @devildomwritersposts

[cupcakesmoothie]

Life Together and Alone

CW: Panic attacks, Aftermath of Trauma, PTSD(?)

Caster enters the apartment, it's as quiet and spotless as usual. He breaks the silence, announcing his presence.

"Lavvie, I'm home!"

He waits. Nothing happens. He sighs, putting his things down by the table and knocks on the bedroom door before entering. His little sister stares up at him as he enters. He smiles at her, getting down to her eye level and opening his arms. She runs into his embrace.

-

It's been almost a week since they left the place they used to call home, and Caster was made the sole provider for the both of them. He really didn't like having to leave his 12 year old sister home alone, but he had to do something to keep food on the table and a roof over their heads. Plus, the silence was suffocating.

Lavandula had stopped speaking ever since she woke up in the hospital, and he couldn't help feeling responsible. He hated the silence, the circumstances that caused it, and himself. He could have done something, stayed home more, spent more time with her, stopped his mother from pushing her-

Caster took a deep breath. No, he wasn't doing any of them good by plaguing himself with all he could have done. Besides, no matter how much he wished his sister would talk and smile again, he wouldn't force her to do something she wasn't comfortable with doing. She would be alright again, in due time. She had to be.

-

CRASH

Caster whipped his head around at the sound, dropping everything. Lavandula was curled up into a ball, in front of her were pieces of what used to be a cup.

"...Lavvie?" Caster called, but she didn't even acknowledge him. Her chest was going up and down too quickly. She was hyperventilating, a panic attack.

Caster swept away the broken glass pieces with his hands, ignoring the pain, and got down in front of his sister, putting his hands on her shoulders.

"Lam," He said, hoping his voice was steadier than he felt, "Look at me, it's alright. No one's gonna hurt you anymore, ok?"

She looked up at him, eyes filled with tears threatening to fall. Her breath was still unsteady.

"Lam, I need you to breathe for me, can you do that?" He asked, voice gentle. The last thing he wanted to do was scare her. "Come on, deep breaths, you can do it, there we go, you're doing great, deep breaths,"

Slowly, her breath evened out and Caster let out a sigh of relief. He wrapped his arms around her, “You’re alright now. You’re safe. No one’s gonna hurt you anymore. I’ll make sure of it.”

-

��Lavvie, guess what I got you?” Caster says, excitement evident in his voice. Lavandula only stares up at him, not saying a word. He supposes he should have expected that. Caster pulls out a couple books from his bag, passing them to Lavandula, who takes them with mild curiosity. On top of the pile is a book on sign language. Lavandula looks at it, then at her brother. Caster smiles, “Well, I figured it would be a good way to communicate with you, until you’re ok with talking again.” Lavandula stares at the book in her hands, and slowly nods.

-

“So, Lavvie, how was school today?”

“It was fine.”

"Fine?”

Lavandula nods.

“Would you like to visit the library today?”

“After I’ve done my homework.”

“You wanna finish your homework first?”

Another nod.

-

Caster hums while he mixes the pancake batter for their breakfast. Lavandula has already set the table, and stays by her brother as she waits for her pancakes.

The pancakes are shaped into various shapes, and served on wooden plates. Lavandula waits for her brother to finish making his portion and sit at the table before digging in. The only sound is the cutlery.

“...Thank you.” Lavandula says quietly, like no one else is meant to hear.

Caster almost chokes on his food, as he stares at his sister in shock. The apartment is quiet once more, while he tries to find his words.

“...You’re welcome.” He responds, unsure what else to say. Lavandula looks up from her empty plate to observe his reaction.

“I’m gonna do the dishes.” She says, and gets up to leave him to finish his breakfast. Caster stays still as he ponders having heard his sister speak for the first time in months. It feels like confirmation that things are really going to get better. He can’t help but smile as he returns to his breakfast. Pancakes had been never sweeter.

[cupcakesmoothie]

Holy SHIT I'm really feeling the angst right now

[cupcakesmoothie]

Thinking about how little Lavandula's nickname for Caster is "Star⭐"

And they're baking and she points at one of the star shaped cookies and goes, "That's you! :D"

And Caster stares at it for a second before he gets it and almost fucking cries because he hasn't heard her call him for a long time. Like 10 years.

He calls her "Flo" or "Flower"

That moment when you have such a sweet idea it makes you want to cry

[cupcakesmoothie]

Right so-

This is Lavandula, my persona. She's supposed to be the same age as me, but I think she looks too old be 16. Her hair bright purple, Lavender if you will, and she usually wears black or gray but I decided to make her sleeves white for this one since her sweater was already gray and her skirt was already black.

She usually only wears sweaters and jackets (because that's what I'd wear if it weren't for the weather-)

She's standing in front of her brother's bakery, which I guess could be Latifolia Bakery, but I hadn't come up with that at the time so the bakery doesn't have a name.

I actually drew 4 cakes, chocolate with strawberry jam, vanilla with rainbow sprinkles, chocolate and strawberry (which is just top half brown bottom half pink), and the obligatory rainbow cake. But the vanilla with sprinkles, and chocolate and strawberry are mostly covered by Lavandula (which is shame since I actually was quite pleased with how the vanilla with sprinkles looked)

The bakery has bread, and baguettes on display (Just me looking up what's sold in bakeries)

I drew this a while back and finally decided to shade it yesterday