#Larc: I am a sword

[hyrule-kingdom-updates]

Wait omfg I just reread for the millionth time and I can’t believe I just realize the parallels between Elane’s death and her damning the rest of the Hyrule so Mallory would live and Larc lying about the master sword and trying to protect his son at the expense of the kingdom. How the hell did I not put two and two together I am UNWELL now.

My toxic trait is putting parents sacrificing everything in order to save their children in all of my fiction. Something something the greatest threats to the kingdom are born out of a single injustice and saving the world will always come at a cost to someone and what if that someone wasn't just a weird demonized villain but someone in a position that is typically viewed in a honorable and heroic light

[aandriskobold]

Session 50 of The Bastard Knights

in which Elinor gets mugged, we celebrate our arrival in Tekiro with some firework displays, we meet some monks with whom we have mutual.... friends, and Kaze has some JUICY SECRETS

- The Bastards decide to head for Tekiro rather than Makao, since Ito's associates will definitely be there, and Kaze has business there.

- As we draw close, a storm begins, and an enormous tidal wave covers the light from the massive moon. While Kaze and Leech Polymorph into giant octopi to stabilise the boat, Polly and Larc get below, and Elinor grabs Irma. Salvio and Irma are swept from the helm into the ocean when it covers the deck, but Kaze comes after Salvio in octopus form. The Knights run aground. Violently.

- Elinor is woken by Justice League, who tells her she's being robbed. A goliath and a gnome, both wearing tanuki badges, have taken most of her equipment - but the goliath has drawn the sword of Cahan, the warrior queen, which must taste blood... Elinor keeps them talking long enough that the goliath takes psychic damage from the sword, gets in a good stab, and heals them so they'll let her go. Glimpse is sitting in a strange tree nearby - in fact, all of the trees are strange here.

- Polly, Leech, Larc, Irma, Thrask and the animals find themselves in the wreckage of most of the ship, tossed up into the forest. With sending and some fun fireworks/glowing rocks, they communicate there whereabouts with huge confusion to Elinor, several miles away, who starts making her way there while "bonding" with Glimpse.

- This group encounters a local guy who introduces himself as Ringo and offers them all a drink and a place to sleep. The group declines, figuring they should stay put since the others are presumably making their way to this clearing. Ringo, although disappointed, sticks around and is generally helpful.

- Kaze and Salvio wake up on the shore, and eventually with Sending establish where the others are, and that they are safe. Most of Salvio's potions and ingredients were smashed in the shipwreck :(. As the pair walk to meet the others, they chat, and when Salvio asks what it's like for Kaze to come back to their own country like this, they reveal SHOCKING secret information (tragically I can't share since the other players are on here, but it's juicy. DM for details).

- Everyone is reunited at last! Kazeki can speak properly with Ringo in Tekiroshi. We learn that the tanuki robbers were mercenary scouts, followers of Toshima, the tanuki god of mischief and disguise, and there is also a monastery nearby, and that Ringo did all the topiary in this area himself! Ringo doesn't pass Suikerpoes's vibe check, so Kaze uses Suggestion to make him tell the truth while they chat.

Kaze: Oh just checking, you're not going to eat us or anything?

Ringo: No I am going to eat you! I was going to pick you off as we travelled because you look tasty and have nice swords!

- What.

- He is a blue ino. Kaze convinces him that we can and will kill him if he tries to eat us, so he eventually lets us go when we agree to send out some scouts from the monastery to eat instead.

- The Bastards make their way to the monastery, which is a centre for the mercenary Clan of Michuki, the very same koi god that our old acquaintance Hako followed! We are taken to a tabaxi elder, who explains that they won't go and deal with Ringo, as they are only accepting bounties from the prime minister. She doesn't know Hako, but does know someone matching her description.

- Kaze, interestingly, requests to speak alone with the elder, and the rest of the party are escorted to lodgings for the night.

- Kaze tells the elder that they are a spy, with crucial and confidential information on the fall of the Cordic Empire, and they are heading back to their base to report. The leader says she will lend them aid in this mission.

- Again - WHAT??

[hyrule-kingdom-updates]

Spare Larc and Launo hcs?

Headcanons? More like canons

Launo uses Larc’s head like a chin rest. So Larc can just be sitting down trying to read, and then Launo comes from behind and plops his head “Hey whatcha doing down there”

This also plays into Larc being a touch starved fool, so any physical contact will basically send him blue screening, which is great if he’s on a worry filled ramble or something. So Larc is running himself in circles about how the kids are or something, and the *plop* “I...........Where am I again?”

Also also, Launo just really likes the sound of Larc’s voice, so he’s not very picky on conversation topics, he busts like listening to him talk about something he’s interested in. The added bonus of this is that it’s super easy to talk Launo out of anything He’s frustrated or annoyed about because Larc just has to say literally anything and Launo is like “Oh right, I still have my super hot husband, it’s fine”

[hyrule-kingdom-updates]

and everything was ok (omg everything was ok)

It's a dark and stormy night.

Hah hah. No, actually, it's only a midly rainy mid afternoon. And Asivius is... late? Well, not really. Everyone else is just early.

"Happy one year anniversary of everything going to shit," Jou says as he opens the door, "and here's our guest of honour!"

"Shouldn't I be the guest of honour, seeing as I'm the Queen, and it's my birthday?"

"Yeah," Zavis chimes in, "and be nice to my- to Siv. To my Siv."

Sooga grumbles something about replacing him. Jou throws a pillow without looking and hits him in the face. Urbosa stops the pillow fight that threatens to break out- for it is, indeed, Mallory's nineteenth birthday, and there will be no pillow fights until *after* the cake.

She should also probably have gotten the first taste, but Big Chugging Chungus stuck his head through the window and took a bite, and nobody could stop him.

Larc tried. It didn't work. Launo is trying to convince him that cake is totally the new fashionable hat. Aryll agrees, and, to prove hero point, sticks cake in Link's hair. He sticks cake in hers too, of course, and then Urbosa has to stop that as well, and while she's distracted Revali poaches some, and Daruk triee to stop him but steals some more for himself, and then Siv tries to step in and be responsible and is bribed with half of Revali's slice, and the cake is mostly gone by now.

Mipha runs a finger along the plate and steals most of the leftover frosting.

Astor, despite claiming to not like cake, somehow pilfered a slice during this whole debacle. This would have gone unnoticed, but Kogha plucked it out if his hands when he was half done, had one bite, and gave the rest to Sooga.

By the time Mallory is ready to cut it, the cake is gone.

And then Zavis procures a single slice he stole at the beginning, and offers it to her with much dramatics, and Revali rates his speech 8/10 for a solid message but too many outdated words.

Purah and Robbie brought backup cupcakes, which Impa gratefully partakes in, having not gotten any of the actual cake, and then everyone else tries to get some until they're all gone and most everyone is stuffed, and then, finally, Launo brings out his cookies, and only those who didn't already stuff themselves on stolen baked goods get to have some.

Larc offers sandwiches to the rest, and is universally declined.

Mallory's gifts are all wrapped blue, her favourite colour, and she loves them all, from Zavis' heartfelt poetry to Siv's pet rat to Link's huge fucking sword, which may slightly be her favourite. Or Astor's book of constellations, annotated by one Zelda Elane Hyrule, with footnotes from himself and Urbosa.

Zavis slips up and calls Siv dad *once,* and he knows from the second he says it that it'll be held over his head for the rest of his life. The Rito he's babysitting, Kass, makes a series of cute noises and tries to steal his flute. Traitor.

Kogha takes this opportunity to throw a pillow at Jou, to defend his husband's honour, and they've already had cake and gifts so Urbosa doesn't bother to stop it from devolving.

BCC wins. How? He just does.

Siv's had a pretty good day, overall. Mallory laughs when he says it.

"What, am I not allowed to have good days?"

"No, no! It's just funny, I..." She smiles, green eyes flicking individually over every member of their mismatched family in the room, covered in pillows and wrapping paper and cake. "I've had a good day too."

[hyrule-kingdom-updates]

Can we get some spare Launo headcannons for July?

Launo sucked big time at knight school when he first arrived—he didn’t exactly have any background help given no one in his family was a knight either. He was basically assigned the equivalent of “equipment manager” during the first few months. And when he did get proper actions with a broadsword or a bow, Launo struggled with footwork and precision and all the minute details of a duel so he often got his ass handed to him.

But one the top kids in Launo’s class thought he was cool anyways—that was, one Arcadius Hartell. Pretty, rich, ace with sword, bow, spear, and anything sharp, and pretty much had no flaws or weaknesses. Launo at first thought the guy was just pitying him, the kid who has never won a single sparring match and consistently put on training dummy duty (that is reattaching their heads when they got lopped off)

So it came as a bit of a surprise when Arcadius came to ask something from him.

“How do you do that?”

Launo turned from the training dummy he was working on. “S-Sorry, what?”

“The...the thing you do. With the...thing?” Arcadius pointed to the needle and thread Launo was holding as he was reattaching the dummy’s forearm. “How do you do that?”

Launo scrunched his eyebrows in confuzzlement. “This is, uh, well. It’s just sewing I guess. If this guy were real I guess it would be stitching, haha...” He patted the dummy’s wood shoulder playfully as if joking with a pal—the dummy immediately tipped over, Launo coughed and stepped in front of the mess to ignore it. Arcadius nodded thoughtfully.

“So, do you have a special technique or something?”

“I mean, not really, it’s just regular old sewing...”

“But I assume you’ve spent years training on the art.”

“I...uh...I guess? My mom taught me.”

“Oh! So it’s like...an apprenticeship...?”

“...Are you under the impression that sewing is some sacred gift that gets passed down to the worthy or something?”

“.........no....”

The two boys just stood awkwardly for a moment longer, Launo studying Arcadius’ face.

“You don’t even know what sewing is do you?”

“O-Of course I do! It’s the...thing.” He made a sword motion with his fingers, as if wielding a tiny blade. “You stab the stuff and it repairs. With the...” Arcadius squinted as he thought for a moment, “...stool...”

“Spool?”

“Yeah! That! So, look, you’re pretty skilled at everything—“

“I am??” Launo took a step back in shock.

“Yeah! You always fix the equipment, and somehow haul around all those weapons, and make us cool lunches—“

“I don’t know, I made Rubeo vomit last week cause I forgot he hates blueberries...”

Arcadius shook his hands. “N-Not the point. And he sort of deserves it. The fact is you’re obviously leagues ahead of the game—“

“I—Actually I wouldn’t say—“

“—so you just gotta teach me everything you know!” Arcadius pumped a fist and closed his eyes. “How could I ever call myself a knight if I don’t even learn the basics of equipment management! Who will mend the wounded holes in my soldier’s pride if I can’t even fix the tears in my uniform! A mountain’s peak is equivalent to the shallow shore if you have no bearing of the heights you soar.”

Launo blinked. “Are you...okay?”

Arcadius scratched his head. “Aha...sorry. That’s a quote from Aria Nori’s newest volume. Guess I was too into the moment there.”

“Oh! The Zora poet! I’ve read her stuff! I haven’t read her latest volume, but my dad often binds her books—“

“Really?!” Arcadius’ eyes were suddenly star struck. “That’s so cool! This is all the more reason you gotta teach me this stuff.” He waved again at the collapsed training dummy. “Maybe start with the beetle and thread.”

“Needle. D-Do you not know what a needle is?”

Arcadius’ eyes glazed over. “...no...oh my gods that’s not gonna be on the test is it?? I’m so screwed—“

“Nonono it’s not, I’m just...” Launo bit his tongue. Now that he thought about it, he never really saw anyone else in his class do mundane house chore stuff. They were far too busy sharpening swords and bragging about their parents or grandparents or great uncles or cousins that totally were war heroes and high ranking political figures. Sewing could just be a Hateno thing, could it..?

“Can’t you just hire someone to teach you?” Launo started. “I mean, I’m super flattered! Just that, I’m not exactly a master at this, so I’m sure there are adults out there that are more accomplished.”

Arcadius hung his head. “I don’t think my dad would let me...Pretty much everything not sword related he just hires someone to do for me. And he’s super picky about what training I focus on.”

“Well it’s not really official training, it could just be a hobby.”

The boy raised an eyebrow, sounding out the word. “H...Hob...?”

“O-OK, just forget that. H-How about...” Launo didn’t meet his eyes as he absentmindedly kicked the dirt. “Y-You like poetry, right? You can come over to my house and look at my dad’s collection. And when we’re there, I can let my mom...” He scrunched his eyes, trying to nail down the words, “...apprentice you? On the...art, of sewing?”

Arcadius’ eyes were wide enough to reflect the heavens themselves. “R-Really?? You’d do that??”

“I don’t see why not. It’ll be after call and,” Launo’s eyes suddenly sparked, “...You can just tell your dad that you’re training me! Say that you were asked to help your fellow classmates cause you’re already so far ahead from everyone else.”

Which isn’t exactly a lie, Launo thought, bitterly.

“Hmm...” Arcadius tapped his chin, before shrugging. “Might have to tweak the explanation to ‘getting extra credit for top grades by tutoring’ cause I don’t know how he’ll feel about me helping the competition.” He articulated the last word with a mocking, adulting tone. Then he held out a hand. “But I think it sounds like a deal! I’ll give you some pointers, and you introduce me to your mentor.”

“My mom.”

“Yeah, that.”

Launo shook his hand, still a bit timidly, given he now noticed that a few other boys in the training yard were watching the prodigy student interact with the glorified janitor boy.

So they both tutored each other: Larc, in the art of knowing what sewing magic was (Larc bringing the most expensive and ornate needle Launo had ever seen, even though Larc claimed he just found it in his father’s closet) and brewing delicious broths (“Wait, you have to stand around this pot for hours and cook this stuff?? I thought you just made soup in a bowl! You know, like how servants take off the silver cover on the tray and the soup is already there?” “We...dont have waiters or anything...so our method of cooking different.”) Meanwhile, Launo was able to make some progress with knight training—keyword, “some.”

“Don’t make your stance so wide.” Arcadius shoved Launo’s back foot with his boot. “Keep your feet closer together, you only want enough distance so that your front foot can hover an inch off the ground while your back foot stays planted. Any further, and you’ll topple too easily.”

Launo adjusted his stance as instructed, and readied the rapier again. He set his jaw. “OK. Come at me!”

Arcadius nodded. He picked up the wooden sword and swung (a bit slowly and wide) at Launo’s side.

Launo immediately shoved his rapier point left to counter his attack, but instead moved with such force and vigor that he practically fell onto Arcadius’ blade.

Arcadius chuckled, dropping the sword and helping Launo up again. “You don’t need to use to much force when you swing. In fact it’s better to work with simple quick movements with any rapier or piercing sword, since the damage is done by the tip, not the weight.”

“S-Sorry...” Launo mumbled as he got up again.

“Don’t be! Oh hey!” Arcadius suddenly went back around towards the pile of weapons and pulled out a claymore. “Actually, maybe a sword like this will work better for you! You won’t have to worry as much about holding back, or being finesse. All the power is in that downward swing—!” Arcadius swung the sword into a nearby log to demonstrate, nearly cutting it asunder.

He offered it to Launo. “And don’t let the size fool you, it’s not actually that heavy. Large weapons still need to let soldiers be quick enough to parry and block attacks.”

Launo turned the claymore around in his hands, studying the blade and handle.

Arcadius gestured to the log. “Well, go on! It’s similar to the grip I taught you with the broadsword, but this time you use your other hand in the bottom to support the weight as it turns on an axis. Try that downward swing I showed you!”

Launo paused for a moment, thinking. Then, he planted his foot down, and swung the claymore down with all his might, aiming for another soon-to-be piece of firewood.

The claymore whistled as it fell, and it cut into the log deep—about halfway. Yet, still not nearly as deep as how Arcadius had done it.

Nonetheless, he was hopping with joy for Launo. “That was awesome!! You did great!!”

He sighed as he left the claymore in the log. “No I didn’t...”

“What are you talking about? That was probably the best blow you’ve done all night!”

“Yeah! And it’s not even a quarter of the damage that you did with your swing!”

“Well, it still took me a while to—“

Launo gestured to the other log. “It’s been how many weeks?? And I’m not even CLOSE to being as good as you, much less being a top student...” He plopped into the dirt and laid himself out like a starfish.

Larc stood over him, confused. “Why would you want to be a top student?”

“BECAUSE I SUCK ASS, DUDE!” Launo held up his arms, exasperated. Larc, on instinct, stepped back and held his hands close to his chest as he fiddled with his thumbs and mumbled an apology. Launo immediately sighed.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to sound like I’m mad at you. You’re really great, Link. You’re so nice to me and you’re talented and I’m so grateful, but I’m just...” He shifted in the dirt again. “I don’t think I could ever be like you. I’d even dare to say it’s impossible.”

Larc stilled, playing with his thumbs, before daring to step closer and sit in the dirt beside him.

“Can I tell you a secret, Launo?”

He was quiet, but he nodded a yes.

“I think my brother’s a stronger fighter than me.”

Launo furrowed his eyebrows confused, but he continued.

“He just never takes his knight training seriously, because of my father. But I bet if he really tried, he’d be great at it.”

Ah. So that’s what he meant.

“But I AM trying.” Launo whined. “I guess compared to you it doesn’t seem like much but—!”

“Nono! Sorry that’s not what I meant!” Larc quickly cut in. “I just...” He trailed off.

“...There’s a reason I have to be the best.” Larc finally said. He was looking out into the woods, but Launo felt that he wasn’t really looking at anything in particular, maybe deep in thought. “There’s a reason I can’t settle, I can’t rest. It’s really important that I get this all right. And I guess that makes me admirable to most people but...”

He looked down at Launo, still spread out in the dirt. “I didn’t really choose to be a knight, unlike you. I didn’t actually choose to be the best, and I don’t get why so many people do train to be at the top out of their own violation. It really...sucks ass.” He articulated the last part in Launo’s tone, and they both giggled.

“So...I guess that I’m trying to say here is that...” He thought one his words a moment longer. “I think so many people are afraid of trying new things, because they fear not being the best at it, not being at the top. And I suppose ambition is good but...” He tilted his head and shrugged at Launo. “As someone who’s supposedly at the top, I would say I envy anybody that can make progress that their proud of. You choose to be a knight, and you’re training for it out of your own strength and courage. That’s more than I’ll ever have, so you should probably get off the ground and realize that soon.”

Launo’s eyes widened, a bit unnerved by how uncharacteristically blunt Larc was being.

“In my opinion, anyone that aims to be better than everyone is stupid—maybe that’s just me, but...I would think that if I was you, I’d be proud of any progress I made. If I was more skilled than I was yesterday, that’s really all I would care about. Why would I care about being the top of my class? I would kill to just be satisfied with being a better me.”

There was silence as the boys took in Larc’s words. Then he suddenly stood up. “G-Goddess Hylia, sorry I’ve been talking for so long, I didn’t realize how late it was getting.” He went to collect his things. “You can keep the claymore, I think you’d be great at it, just...”

Larc packed his swords and backpack, before turning back to the flopped out Launo. “...I think you’re really cool, Launo. So don’t tap out for my sake—I’m not the person that matters in your training, am I? So don’t give up for any silly reasons like that.”

Launo perked his head up to meet his gaze. While Arcadius was usually serious and controlled during training at school, Larc always seemed to have genuine excitement about swords when it came to him. The bright smile on his face caused his cheeks to warm and he immediately flipped his head back to hide it.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Launo!” Larc ran off into the night, a cobblestone streets in the distance swallowing his figure.

“See you...” Launo whispered.

He lay in the dirt a moment longer—his mother would probably berated him for the stains again—when he finally got up and looked at the claymore in the log. He walked up to it and observed it further, it was another a sixth of the way deep. He glanced at Larc’s log, which was nearly split in two, and sighed. Then he glanced back at his own work.

“Well, it’s better than when I first started I guess...” Launo mumbled.

No one responded.

The boy let out a huff, and gripped the sword again in his hands.

“But I can do better.”

By the time Launo was 16 he was finally beating his classmates with ease, specializing in longswords, axes, and hammers. And while he definitely still “sucked ass” in things like archery and lance work—to which some boys still teased him for—he found overtime that he no longer cared about what they thought. They had their strengths, and he had his. And to top it off, absolutely no one in the academy could make a lemon cookie like him. So at least he had the best in show for that angle.

Even years later, after certain incidents transpired concerning House Hartell, Launo always welcomed Larc to his house for “training.” Although after a while, it would be hard to still call it that when a large chunk of time is really just spent running their fingers through each other’s hair.

“But we’re friends, right?”

“Yeah.”

And even years after graduating as part of the top ten in his class and working as a knight, some of his old classmates would tease him for being the “rich boy’s lap dog,” Launo would find that he still really didn’t care—after a punch or two was thrown, of course. He found that his new lack of anxiety and concern heavily stemmed from that night, when Larc had told him about his envy for choice and satisfaction. Thinking back at the memory of his handling with a sword and his happy little smile once made Launo blush so hard his father teased him about it for the rest of his life—his mother claimed he went so red he would fit right in with the tomato stew. One of these days, Launo would pay Larc back for the endless teasing he got from his parents. And pay Larc back he would, indeed.

I mean, he already had the ring.

[hyrule-kingdom-updates]

Asivus! Let go!

NO. You have to tell me exactly what happened. You have to tell me what I did

It was so long ago...If you can’t remember, then how am I—

BECAUSE I’M ME! Because I was stupid, and kinda drunk, and of course they knocked me out for potentially being a danger. But you—

Asivus...

You were the fucking hero then, right? Swooping in, in the nick of time...

Asivus, please...

You have to tell me, Larc. You have to tell me what I’m capable of. Obviously I did it before so...I don’t know, maybe my brain is so fucked up that I’m forgetting—

You didn’t do this. 

PROVE IT. Prove it, Larc. I need to know...there are people now that I don’t...what if I—tell me the truth, Larc.

You have rock-hard alibis—

IT’S JUST YOU. It’s just you, Larc. For once in your life, don’t bullshit me with your fancy logic and words and whatever. 

It was an accident. 

You. Know. It wasn’t.

... Maybe just leave and take a walk. There’s gonna be a party soon. 

Gods a-fucking-bove—You’re always so set on following the rules, and keeping things straight, huh? Why stop now? What’s your fucking deal?!

It wasn’t you. 

Dad is always so smug when talking about the latest murders—

Asivus

No one even talks to me anymore, except dumb kids and the stupid magic voices. People can only have a chat with me when they’re a safe distance away, huh? Only when there’s something to gain...

Asivus it’s—

What do you have to gain, huh? Why are you here?

Because you’re my—

Because I’m your brother. Because of pity. 

Asivus...

Because you feel sooo good about yourself. The young Hartell, stepping up to the plate where the first-born could not. The golden boy is soooo wonderful and perfect, and he takes care of everything and everyone with ease. This poor Hartell, cleaning up the messes of his evil big bro. 

You’re not—GK!

Maybe we’ll end the story right here, huh? Maybe something snaps in me and I attack you. And now you finally have your reason to fight me, and you don’t need to hold back anymore. The monster is finally here. Yeah, the golden boy takes down their evil brother once and for all, cementing themselves as the true hero. Do it, Arcadius, hit me! Kill me! 

...it...it was never...n......

...

...

... Fuck. 

*gasp* Hylia—

I-I’m sorry. I’m sorry I don’t know what came over me, I’m—

It’s...it’s...

Fuck, man. I don’t know why—I’m so sorry. Gods I even tore your fancy collar—

It’s ok...it’s...I don’t own it. 

Shit. Fuck...what other curse words do I know. Fucking—I’m so sorry

Asivus, it’s alright. You’re just...you’re just...

I’m just what, Arcadius?

...

...

Arcadius why did you really give me this job?

... Guilt.

Heh. Oh yeah?

I didn’t want...it was two decades of silence, and the most you did was take care of the kids while Launo was as the Domain. But for the most part I saw. I saw you were...miserable.

...

I didn’t want you to spend the rest of your life like that because...because of one thing that...you...I...just one night and—

A bit on the nose to do it on the anniversary of my attempted kill.

You didn’t kill—

Then what happened, Larc? I can’t...you have to tell me. You have to tell me if I’m a good person or not.

Of course you—

Are you sure?

...

You stole his sword, seemed you snuck behind him. He turned. You swung. His partner went to attack you. I ran by and stopped the further fighting. Dad later talked to them. No one’s dead. And we all moved on. 

... That’s not it.

...

Is it true I was laughing?

...

Arcadius what....what if you’re the only thing keeping me from getting what I actually deserve?

...

... ...Sorry. I’m gonna go now. 

...Asivus, wait.

I gotta focus on maintaining what’s left. If I don’t stop by for a while...well, orator bullshit is keeping me busy. So just say hi to the brats for me.

Asivus...

I’ll get out of your hair now.