#LananaKay

[lananakay]

Have you been watching AMC's adaptation of "Interview With the Vampire?" Have you read the book(s)? If not, you may not know that Anne's vampires are on the Asexual spectrum! You also may have noticed that in AMC's adaptation...them vampires be F***in on the regs! This is one part of the adaptation that I don't mind, but don't necessarily love. You may be thinking "but Lana! I read the books and those vampires are NOT asexual, they have sex all the time!" Are you sure about that? Are. You. Sure. About. That?

Like everything in this world, asexuality is on a spectrum. Different orientations fall under the asexual umbrella. If you are interested, here is a short introduction. If you would like to see a more in-depth list of orientations, you can find it HERE.

Pictured Above: Lestat Rejecting the sexual advances of groupies before draining them. (Circa the 2002 adaptation of "Queen Of The Damned")

I am Graysexual.

Sometimes referred to as “gray ace” people who are greysexual are primarily asexual. However, these members of the asexual community may enjoy sexual behavior under very specific circumstances, or they might experience sexual interest on rare occasions.

IMPORTANT: Please Read Below

“Asexuality is different from abstinence, where someone chooses to not have sexual contact regardless of their sexual urges. Someone with an asexual identity is not necessarily someone who has never engaged in sex...(asexuality)is also considered a type of sexual orientation. It is important to clarify that asexuality is not a medical or mental condition or diagnosis. It is a sexual orientation in the same way that homosexuality, bisexuality, and pansexuality are.” – Talkspace therapist Bisma Anwar, LMHC

I've gotta work on having long ass intros. Anyway...I've always loved that Anne's vampires were on the spectrum. I loved how the connections, romances, and intimacies weren't predicated on sex.

I find it surprising whenever I run into VC readers who've missed or not picked up on the asexual themes in the series because 1. it's explicitly stated in almost all the books in one form or another, and 2. It makes me realize how many people don't fully understand what Asexuality is as an orientation.

May times people will cite that there is sex in the books and thus negates that the vampires are Asexual. What they are forgetting is that not having sexual desire does not mean you can not or do not have sex. I know we've all heard of people having sex when they don't feel like it. Just because you consent and willingly participate does not mean you are aroused or even want to.

Some asexual people have allosexual partners and engage in physical intimacies up to and including intercourse to satisfy their partners. On the flip side of that, others may not enjoy intercourse but enjoy other forms of physical intimacy that don't include genitalia. Again, it's a spectrum. I like the idea of sex but don't like engaging in it. I enjoy watching, reading, and listening to porn, and any sexual satisfaction need I'd prefer to address on my own.

It also seems that a lot of people don't know the difference between sex and romance. Sexual orientation and romantic orientation are two different things. Just because a person is asexual does not mean that they aromantic. I am Hetero-romantic. Most of the vampires in the books are Bi/Pan-romantic.

Romantic Orientation: also called affectional orientation, is the classification of the sex or gender which a person experiences romantic attraction towards.

Romantic Attraction: attraction that makes people desire romantic contact or interaction with another person or persons.

Going back to people not knowing the difference between sex and romance, this is one of the reasons why I loved the asexuality of the vampires in this world. For me, when reading the books there was an extra layer of truth in their emotions knowing they weren't forged in lust, but something deeper. It made them seem that much more non-human. More, in control. More above a mortal life. It also deeply enhanced the physical displays of affection that did happen.

Also, It really frustrated me soooo much when Claudia was raped by Bruce. It broke some of the fantasy of the VC world in my view...That there was at least one thing you wouldn't have to worry about with a vampire. Yeh, they might kill you, but they would never violate you. Plus it's lazy writing. You can have a female character go out into the world and be traumatize without raping her. It reinforces the whole "you need a man around to stop other men from hurting you" thing and it's kindaicky.

It also kind of...cheapened the love between Lestat and Louis. At times it made Lestat's actions seem sexually motivated, which isn't how he operates. Especially when he did the whole "Let's have an open relationship so I can screw who I want but when you do it I'm going to get jealous and have a problem with it." thing. It reduced Lestat to a stereotypical asshole that thinks with his dick. Mixing love and sex always leaves you wondering if the love is true.

Now that last statement has gotten me in trouble a in the past so uh...

I do not think that relationships are diminished, illegitimate, or otherwise untrue inherently because they are sexual. I say this from an asexual point of view where I've regularly heard people say/post the following:

"if you're not having sex with them, then why are you with them?"

"If you're not having sex then you're nothing more than friends."

"if they stop having sex with me (or if the sex isn't good) I'll just divorce them or cheat."

"if you're not having sex with me, you don't love me"

As a person (specifically a woman) who has very low sexual interest but still has romantic interest, it makes me side-eye people a LOT. Movies/books/TV and even real life put sooo much emphasis on sex in relationships that it makes one question their authenticity. The books were a nice departure from that.

Now some people have suggested that there hasn't actually been any sex in the series thus far and that I'm just assuming there is based on context. But, no. It was said several times. Here are 3 examples:

annnnnd everybody's favorite!

Now, to cite my sources! Here are several references that brought me to my conclusion of asexuality in the books.

After drinking Akasha's blood in QOTD Lestat looks himself over and notes the following-

"And the organ, the organ we don't need poised as if ready for what it would never again know how to do, or want to do, marble, a Priapus at a gate."

Which means one of two things to me. Either strong vampires always have an erection 24/7 or it just happens after they feed because of the blood flowing through them...either way, it explains this quote from chapter 2 of "The Vampire Armand".

"I put my hand between his legs. Oh, he was so wonderfully hard." -(Human Armand about Marius) 

Then in chapter 3: when human Armand tries engaging in intercourse with the vampire Marius, Marius says:

"haven't you lain with me enough to know what I can and cannot enjoy?"

When first brining this up online, several people pointed out that in the book "Pandora", Marius and Pandora have penetrative sex, and thus dispelling the asexual theory. However, Anne Rice is quite consistent, even this novel. During this scene Pandora asks Marius to:

"Fill me and hold me".

Marius responds with

"This is stupid and superstitious"

She then very clearly states that it is not for pleasure but the symbolism of connection.

"it is symbolic and comforting"...our bodies were one, connected by this sterile organ which was no more to him now than his arm.

Others also point out that in "Tale of the Body Thief" one of the first things Lestat does is have sex. He also eats. lmao! My point is that the whole reason for switching bodies was to be mortal again and do mortal things. Sex for pleasure is a very mortal thing.

In conclusion. I'm ace and I think that's one reason why I loved Anne's vampires so much. I was a little disappointed that they didn't stick with that in the adapted series but whatevs, it doesn't ruin the show for me.!

[lananakay]

Louis De Pointe Du Lac: THE ENERGY VAMPIRE

(pun very much intended)

Louis is my favorite character to hate, so although this post is going to drag him, know that I do it with love! WHY?

Because...*stares off in to the distance*...I was Louis!

When I criticize Louis, it is 100% percent a projection. I'm talking to my old self. At one point I too was a perpetually depressed, pessimistic, selfish, whiny person who refused to take accountability for my part in anything. He is (as he was for Anne Rice) a personification of my journey through depression. I never want to be Louis again!

BACK TO THE ENERGY VAMPIRE!!

And I'm not talking about your refrigerator! I'm referring to the colloquialism of 'a person who leaves you feeling depleted both emotionally and mentally after you've spent time with them.'

Look at these symptoms of an Energy Vampire and tell me they aren't the very definition of Louis De Pointe Du Lac!

The Victim: Some people enjoy playing the victim card and are always ready with a new sob story about a perceived slight. They are innocent but the whole world is always against them. They tend to complain often and loudly about their problems.

The Criticizer: Some people spend a lot of time and energy criticizing other people, things, and situations. Nothing is ever good enough for them and they can find fault with just about anything...except themselves of course.

The Exaggerator: Some people attract and create a lot of drama. They always seem to be in the midst of a major catastrophe and when they aren't, they'll add embellishments to turn the most mundane stories into epics.

(Letsat says this didn't happen, and Louis eventually admits it was embellished.)

The Manipulator/The User: Some people are able to manipulate just about any situation to their advantage. The don't think about the effects of their actions on the ones they claim to care about, draining them of emotional support to get what they need.

The Negative Thinker: Some people always see the glass as half empty and have a very negative attitude toward life. They can always be counted on to point out the downside or potential risks, without leaving any room for hope or excitement.

(this whole scene of Claudia being excited and happy and Louis dragging her down.)

The Blamer: Some people are quick to place blame on others. They’re never at fault but always willing to hand out heaps of shame and guilt.

In conclusion:

[lananakay]

Why Do (Straight) Women Produce and Consume Gay Media? A Think Piece-

AMC's Interview With The Vampire Season 2 is about to wrap up. Once again, the fact that "The Vampire Chronicles", (which is well known for its homoeroticism) were written by a woman and the fandom is largely composed of women has brought back the questions: "Why do straight women write stories centering around gay men?", "Why do straight women ship straight male characters together?", and of course "Why do straight women like BL and gay porn?" These questions are often followed by criticisms, judgment, and accusations. Well, as a woman who has been a fan of homoerotic/romantic media involving men, I would like to share with you my self-assessment and input.

We need to get a few disclaimers out of the way first:

To start, this is the internet so I feel like I need to point out that when I say "straight women" I mean some, not all. it also needs to be said that I am just a random person. I am expressing my opinion and sharing my perspective on this topic as a Graysexual, Hetero-Romantic, Cisgender Woman, who sometimes consumes homoerotic and romantic content involving men. The following is a assessment drawn from looking inward at myself and assessing the actions of others. My words are my own and I do not speak for all (or really any) women.

it goes without saying that anyone can enjoy any story. Not being a part of a community does not mean you cannot or should not enjoy the stories that come from them. Sharing stories is a way humans connect, teach, and learn. However...

A gay man being uncomfortable or feeling fetishized when straight women write gay romances, ship men together, or watch gay porn is VALID. The fetishization of people in the LGBTQIA+ community happens regularly. The fact is, some women are weird, creepy, and even downright disrespectful. Some women do, in fact, have a fetish for gay men and gay relationships and this post is in no way suggesting those people don't exist. Fetishization is also very prominent in communities of color and, as a woman of color myself, I have experienced this first hand and understand that icky feeling. It is harmful, hurtful and is something I plan on making a post about in the future. Fetishization is the flipside of any "ism" or "phobia". Take a celebrities for example. Both fans and anti-fans are two sides of the same coin. They follow, interact with, talk about, and even obsess over the celebrity, but one is motivated by positivity and the other by negativity. It's the same with fetishization, both "phobes"/"ists" and fetishizers dehumanize a person based on superficial characteristics, ignorance, and stereotypes. One manifests itself in hate and the other in obsession (sexual or otherwise). This post specifically will examine why a woman who DOES NOT have a fetish for gay men and relationships would compose or enjoy homoerotic media.

Let's start with the question: "Why do women write stories (erotic or otherwise), centering around gay men?"

TLDR: Ease, Escapism, Heterosexuality, and just a touch of Self Hate:

Growing up I loved writing. I wrote many short stories and, like Anne Rice (author of Interview With The Vampire), almost all my protagonists were male. Some of them were gay. Why is that? As women, we have to learn to deal with and battle self-hate. This is true for any minority. When you grow up an outlier, you have to contend with hate, both blatant and inadvertent, that seeps into you from all directions. It becomes easy to write a story from the perspective of the standard, the accepted, the free. Not only were a lot of my characters men, a lot of them were not black either. Although I didn't realize it at the time, doing this was a type of escapism. The opportunity to imagine existing in the world without being bound by social and societal limitations. Just changing your Gender can allow you to live in a different time and still be seen as a person. Imagine traveling freely without thinking about the limitations and consequences a person of your race, religion, or disability might face. You also don't have to adjust your writing to justify how your character is allowed in their setting because, realistically, they would never be accepted or permitted.

Anne herself said this about writing Lestat DeLioncourt, that he was the man she "secretly wanted to be", pointing out that he was free to do the things he wanted without the limitations of being a woman. We see this a lot in written media. Think of "The Outsiders", "Harry Potter", and "Frankenstein". None romantic, but all best-selling books surrounding male protagonists, but written by women.

As for why a lot of women write gay male characters specifically, I think it mostly has to do with self-insertion, but also that escapism again. Moving back to Anne specifically, both Louis and Lestat were self-insert characters, and even though their genders don't match her own, they are still her and thus attracted to men. Honestly, I feel like sometimes it's that simple. Not only that, but when both characters are men, you don't see that societal power imbalance that you naturally see between men and women. He doesn't treat him "like a woman". They are naturally equals and that alone provides an escapist romance. (When I say naturally equals I mean at a base level excluding things like class, race, etc.)

Next Question: Why do women fantasize about and ship straight male characters in gay relationships?

TL:DR Because they're basically already in an ideal platonic relationship. The shippers just like to add some spice.

Another Set Of Disclaimers:

This is purely speculation! I don't ship and don't have really any experience with this so I'm speculating on why I think (a non-fetish having) straight woman would ship 2 straight male characters.

This section is only referring to FICTIONAL characters. I find the shipping of real people off-putting in general (regardless of gender) and it's not something I want to get into here.

Continuing the theme of poorly written female characters: The fact that many shows and movies fail "The Bechdel Test" makes it no surprise that, in many stories, the lovers have no love. Again, I'm not a shipper. However, while reading about different ships between (presumably) straight male characters, I assed their points of view and pondered on why they would see two straight male characters and think they would make a good romantic pairing. The common denominator seemed to be the connection between the characters. Frequently, it seems the love interest, girlfriend, or wife of a male protagonist is little more than background. We know nothing about her and in turn, the protagonist seems to know nothing about her. He spends barely any time with her and she's often just a reference used for motivation. When they do spend time together the dialogue is minimal and the interaction superficial. Outside of her proximity to the protagonist, there is nothing to suggest they love each other.

However, their best friend? Their sidekick? Their frenemy? They know everything about them, they know their pain and struggles, they know their joy and peace. They are there for every important moment and are usually the ones to catch them when they fall and share in the triumph when they win. Not to mention the power dynamic again. They are seen (and see each other) as equals.

Now, if you want to write a fanfiction (erotic or not) and insert yourself into it, whose shoes would you rather be in? Even the antagonist or villain has more of a connection with the main character than their love interest. They know everything about them and spend more time and energy on them, even if it's trying to take them down.

In general, (fictional) women spend a lot of time on the back burner of a man's life. The things I am about to say are GROSS GENERALIZATIONS, but ones regularly perpetuated in the entertainment industry. Men and women can't be friends. Men see women as something to be pursued and won. Men don't talk to women about things important to them, they don't share in or care about their interests, and in the event they do, it's to meet that goal of winning her. Once they succeed and the wedding ends, she becomes a possession to be safeguarded or, more likely, a nag and a burden. She's then seen as that man's weakness, the "old ball and chain", a responsibility and someone he is forced to spend time with. Constantly and consistently the drag, the nag, and the butt of the joke.

Who wants to be that? I'd rather be the Chip to Dale, the Spock to Kirk, the Sasuke to Naruto, or even the Joker to Batman. To be someone they want to be around, talk to, and be with for more than just sex and societal obligation. When shippers see that meaningful connection between characters, it makes sense to dream up a scenario where those two just end up together.

Or maybe they just wanna fantasize about two attractive characters doin' it and I'm over analyzing. Like I mention, this is speculation because I'm on the outside looking in on this one.

Remember, the above is NOT a critique of real men or men in general. I love men and masculinity. This post is about media and fiction. Lets also remember that there are plenty of great hetero-romances that are the total opposite of the above gross generalizations. A couple of my favorite pairings include the 1960's portrayal of Morticia and Gomez from "The Addams Family" and Stan and Francine from "American Dad!" I love me some Francine!

Last but certainly not least! Why do straight women watch gay porn?

TL:DR: The male gaze ruining straight porn, insecurity, and liking men being something gay men and straight women have in common.

I have the most experience with this one. As some of you may know, I used to collect gay adult films. So, why as a straight woman would I want to watch gay porn? It must be a fetish, right? I must have some weird obsession with gayness, right? Actually, it's not that deep and really simple once you spell it out.

Let's start with the obvious: Porn is made for men. They are the target audience and the main consumer. Straight porn is targeted towards straight men and focuses on the women while the man is in the background, his looks a bygone afterthought.

Lesbian porn is also geared toward straight men and focuses on the woman...because it's all women! It is often an example of fetishization and hyper-sexualization of the queer community as well. However, women who are sexually attracted to other women also consume lesbian porn for obvious reasons. They like vaginas and may not be particularly fond of penises. Plus, I'm sure if you like vaginas, two might be better than one.

Speaking of genitalia. I'd like to point something out. On some of the more popular adult sites, If you are looking for a woman doing "solo" activities you would find it in the straight category. It seems anything pertaining to women and sex is seen as "straight", including a lot of lesbian porn. However, if you look for a man doing "solo" activities you will mainly find that in the "gay" category. The assumption seems to be that if you are on the site you are a man, and if you're watching a heterosexual scene or a scene with women, you're presumed to be a straight man. However, if you're looking at a man with no woman in the scene, you must be a gay man. Women seem to be rarely considered. So as a woman, most of my time is spent in the gay section even If I'm not looking for homoerotic content and just want to see a good-looking naked man.

Moving on. Gay porn is made for gay men, so men are the focus of the scene and therefore more attractive. Do you know who else is sexually attracted to men? Straight women. Do you know who also doesn't want to watch porn where the focus is a woman? Straight women. Do you know who also thinks 2 penises are better than one? (Some) Straight woman. It makes 1 to 1 sense that some straight woman would like gay porn for a lot of the same reasons gay men do simply because we are both sexually attracted to men.

While collecting adult films, one of the series I really liked was called "Straight Style." It was (obviously) produced by a gay label and the premise of the film was to see how the models interact with and have sex with women. I enjoyed this series because it gave me a chance to watch heterosexual scenes, but because the target audience was gay men, the women weren't moaning obnoxiously loud which was (and is) a 100% turn off for me. They just had regular sex and the male model was the focus rather than the camera being all up in the girl's cooch and boobs the whole time. I was also eventually able to find a label that made porn "for women" which again provided heterosexual porn focused on the man with the women acting realistically and not dramatically for the male gaze. The women were also "normal". Meaning they weren't hyper sexualized with extensive work done. They just looked like everyday women. Which was oddly comforting and brings me to last point, which can also serve as an answer to all three questions.

Insecurity.

During my self assessment this came up over and over again. I think that subconsciously my insecurities played a role in my enjoyment of homoerotic media. Humans constantly compare themselves to one another. It's natural. However, women (and especially young girls) have pressure placed on their looks and compare themselves to others much more frequently and sometimes to an unhealthy extent. There has been more than one occasion where I've daydreamed about a guy I like or a celebrity and then gotten sad because I know he doesn't like girls like me. I've watched straight porn and (aside from the antics of an overdramatic leading lady...and vaginas), been turned off because "that's obviously what men like, and that's not me." With gay romance, I'm not comparing myself to a anyone because there's nothing to compare. And, for the third time, I can (sometimes) still get the dynamic of feminine and masculine energies in love without the power imbalance. Simply put, I can immerse myself in the story and enjoy it more because my insecurity is on the back burner.

I feel like this was true for a younger me. As I've matured and grown into an adult my insecurities have lessened considerably.

All in all the reason for this post is to offer some perspective and give a point of view that may not have been considered.

[lananakay]

WELCOME!

My name is Lana! This is my place to write about things on my mind. A place where I can get it all out and feel catharsis after. If you recognize me, it's because I used to run an adult-themed blog before the great Tumblr ban. While it essentially destroyed my blog, I tried to keep it going under the new rules but, alas, eventually the account was terminated. So here I am again, to share my thoughts with you...sans nude men!