#LaTe if you wanna discontinue that's fine :)

[crystaljins]

Stars Above | 08

Characters: Taehyung x Reader

Word count: 5.2K

Synopsis: Your nagging roommate is desperate for a third person to help meet the rent and your university just so happens to be running a fully-funded government grant for anyone who signs up to participate in the Intergalactic Exchange program.

Having an alien for a roommate is just asking for all kinds of trouble, though.

Alien!Taehyung x reader

Rating: Teens

Notes: This is arguably one of the emotional climaxes of this drabble series. If I was aiming for a warm hug up until now, then maybe this part is fireworks at a festival? Maybe not ahaha. I’ll let you guys be the judges

Masterlist

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11

For some reason, something makes you feel uneasy as you watch Rose unpack the boot of her car. You’ve gotten quite adept at sniffing out Nayeon’s schemes, and this certainly reeks of one. For one thing, you hadn’t thought the two girls close enough to warrant an invite to Nayeon’s “super-intimate but also super-casual” weekend away to her parent’s lake house. For another, Nayeon has been acting weird around you lately. You can’t pinpoint the exact moment it started, but one moment she was being her normal, if a little irritating self, and the next she was cranky, irritable, prone to tantrums. Actually, in all honesty, Nayeon does have her cranky days and you’d be inclined to write it off as something simple like a guy not liking her or her favourite eyeshadow pallette being discontinued were it not for the way her ire seems directed at a specific person.

Or rather, alien. 

Said alien comes scampering over to your cheerfully, a smile brighter than the sun above plastered upon his face. He’s steadily adjusted to earthen levels of UV radiation, and can now get away with a wide-brimmed hat and copious amounts of sunscreen to cope with the outdoors, but he’s missed a huge smear of sunscreen just under his left eye. 

“Would you require me to carry your possessions over to your temporary inhabitance?” He enquires giddily. Something in you softens, at his tone. Like the warm autumn sunlight that spreads across the lake, it’s pleasant and sparkling, stretching to the tips of your fingers with a delightful fizz. 

“No, that’s fine.” You say, bringing a hand up to gently scrub the blob of sunscreen away. He looks momentarily taken aback, but the look quickly morphs into a contented smile. 

For just the briefest moment, you’re excited for this weekend. Taehyung had admitted he’d spent a lot of time watching human movies back on his home planet, and a trip with friends had been something he’d always wanted to experience. So Nayeon’s birthday weekend away had been the perfect chance for him to experience that. 

Then you feel a heated pair of eyes on your back and the brief excitement melts away. Glancing over your shoulder, both Nayeon and Rose are glaring at you, and you’re immediately reminded that Nayeon is up to something. You don’t know what that something is, but you hope you’ve packed enough painkillers to deal with the headaches she’s sure to induce over the next 48 hours. 

With a sigh, you turn back to Taehyung. He falls into step with you as you heft your baggage along and a few steps later he insists on taking it off you anyway. 

“What are the intended activities?” He questions you. “Are we permitted to go “canooking”?”

You laugh, shaking off the chill of unease that Nayeon’s strange behaviour has set upon you. 

“It’s “canooing” or “kayaking”.” You remind him. “But I think Nayeon rang a rental place and has us booked in for tomorrow. For today it’s just setting up for the barbeque and waiting for everyone to arrive. I think the boys also wanna play capture the flag or a spooky hide and seek once night hits as well.”

Taehyung nods eagerly, a little extra bounce present in his step upon hearing the itinerary. 

The rest of the afternoon proceeds enjoyably- Jungkook and Jin arrive in the late afternoon and immediately start fighting over the barbeque. Dahyun decides that she’s a campfire expert and goes searching for firewood, while Nayeon and Rose sit in the evening sun with blankets and a bottle of wine between them, laughing at the boys’ antics. It’s nice, watching your friends have fun. You watch them through the window of the kitchen in between washing and prepping vegetables for dinner. 

“If you wish to share time with them, I can complete the eating preparations on my own.” You start a bit when you feel a warm thumb slide along the collar of your shirt, tickling the top of your shoulder. Taehyung sidles up to you, shoulder to shoulder. 

Despite yourself, you smile and shake your head. 

“Then you won’t be enjoying yourself!” You remind him sternly. “Help me in here and we can join them more quickly- they’re planning on playing some game once dinner prep is done.” 

Taehyung nods enthusiastically, reaching across you to retrieve the bowl of mushrooms you’d left unattended. He hums as he works- it’s a habit he picked up recently, not long after you downloaded Spotify onto his phone for him; since then he always seems to have a tune on his tongue. 

You like his voice- it’s warm and velvety and suits the mood of a lazy autumn afternoon. You’re not really the singing type yourself but you could spend the whole day listening to Taehyung hum absently to himself. 

You’re focused enough on your task that you don’t notice the way Tae’s voice gradually fades until you accidentally knock against the countertop and the resulting “thud” is abnormally loud in the kitchen. 

Surprised, you glance over Taehyung to find his progress with the vegetarian skewers has stalled. Instead, he scans his gaze across the lawns to where Nayeon and Rose are settled on their picnic blanket, visible through the glass window. Something clouds his expression as he stares at the pair. 

“Can I ask you a question?” He says softly. His voice sounds distant and contemplative; it’s like he’s a million miles away in that moment. 

“Ask away.” You answer back, and suddenly the warmth of the afternoon seems evaporated. Something about the look in Taehyung’s eyes leaves you uneasy. 

“How does courtship work on this planet?” He asks. 

You splutter for a few moments, floored by the unexpected question. And then you follow his gaze once more and something clicks when you realise he’s still staring at the two girls lounging on the lawn. 

Oh. 

Something clicks into place like two puzzle pieces slotting together neatly. You clear your throat awkwardly before shrugging and turning your gaze away. Memories flash through your mind; Nayeon’s bad mood, Rose’s unexplained presence on this trip, and even a few weeks earlier when an upset Taehyung had informed you that Nayeon had been trying to set him up with one of her friends. 

Was... was there something between Rose and Taehyung?

“It’s... if you... if you f-find someone attractive,” You begin. You’re sure that you sound like an absolute idiot with your sudden stammering but for some reason your tongue feels like it’s made from lead. “Then you spend time with them. On dates. Trying to decide if you like them enough to spend your life with them.” 

A surprised expression crosses his face. 

“That’s all? You spend time together and you are entered into a bonded agreement? How to you discern ‘courtship’ time together from ‘friendship’ time together?” He demands, completely and utterly baffled. And then his expression grows into horror. “If that is the case then I must attend to something in the immediate!” He cries, dashing out before you have a chance to interrogate him otherwise. 

“Taehyung, wait!” You cry out, but he’s already out the door, leaving you by your lonesome in the kitchen. “Is there someone you want to “court”?” You ask to the empty kitchen anyway, knowing it won’t answer back. 

You pretend you don’t notice him cross the lawns moments later and take Rose aside, somewhere out of view and instead focus your energy on finishing the dinner preparations. 

++

It is entirely stupid to spend the rest of the evening sulking and yet that is what you find yourself doing. 

You don’t even have any rational explanation for why you’re so upset. Taehyung hadn’t mentioned Rose by name at all prior to this trip; it’s a huge assumption to think anything would be happening between them. And, even if there is something happening between them, it’s genuinely none of your business. You’re just his roommate. Your sole job is to take care of him on this exchange. If he wants to fool around and have flings with Earthen girls, he’s well within his rights to do so. 

But, nevertheless, something in you aches at the thought. And so, the easiest way to deal with the unfamiliar emotion is to avoid the trigger. 

Now if only everyone else would let you do so in peace. 

“What’s wrong? Did Taehyung find out you used beefstock in the veggie soup by accident?” Jin asks, siding smoothly into place beside where you’re seated on a log, a few metres away from the campfire and the majority of the action. 

“No, I remembered to use vegetable stock this time.” You sigh, accepting the can of drink he holds out towards you. “I just...” 

You trail away. If you can’t articulate to yourself why you’re upset, there’s no hope of you explaining it to Jin. At least not without significant misery and humiliation on your part. 

Jin, to his credit, spots Rose enthusiastically chatting to Taehyung, a hand resting delicately against the alien’s forearm, and takes the hint to leave you alone. He smiles awkwardly at you before shuffling off to bully Jungkook.

Nayeon is nowhere near as tactful. She slumps down beside you on the wrong end of tipsy, wielding a beer can like a weapon and ready to complain. 

“Why do you look so sad?!” She drunkenly demands of you. Startled, you glare at her in what you hope is an adequately distasteful expression. She doesn’t take your hint, continuing on despite the dour expression on your face. “You were supposed to not care! You never care about these things! Nothing ever gets to you.” 

“Nayeon.” You cut her off sharply. Any other day you’d tackle this but today you’re especially not in the mood for her antics. “What on earth are you going on about?”

Nayeon stops her rant, staring at you wide-eyes. Then her gaze flicks to where Taehyung is now being inundated by people- Jungkook has an arm thrown around him while Rose still clings to his forearm and Jimin looks like he’s drunkenly squaring up to Taehyung. 

Guilt fills her expression. She opens her mouth slowly. 

“I.... didn’t know things would end up like this.” 

She confesses in a rush. She buries her face in her hands and suddenly seems a lot more sober. “I didn’t know Rose would like Taehyung so much and if she did, I thought he’d end up liking her back.” 

She’s really only adding to your confusion, and you wisely choose to remain silent as Nayeon spills her guts. 

“I just... I was jealous.” She admits, looking at you with miserable eyes. “I know you don’t consider me your best friend- I’m not stupid, ok? I know that most of the time you barely tolerate me, but for me? You’re the closest friend I have. No one else even comes close, and when I saw how close you were getting with Tae, I felt threatened.”

You blink in surprise at her confession, and then it’s your turn to feel guilty. Nayeon has always taken your dismissiveness with a grain of salt or with a laugh. You’d always assumed the whole ‘’my best friend” thing was a joke, and so you’d aways been quick to shoot her down. 

“I...” you begin, scrambling for the right words to say. 

She cuts you off, however. 

“I thought if he got a girlfriend, he wouldn’t have as much time for you. And then things would go back to normal.” She confesses. “I just assumed after a couple of dates they’d hit it off and he’d have less time for you! But instead, he’s completely uninterested in her... and Rose fell head over heels for him, and you’re sitting here looking like I killed Sergeant Sparkles the seventh!” She cries. 

“The fifth. Sergeant Sparkles the fifth.” You correct her, more in a state of shock than anything else. 

Her expression darkens. 

“About that...” she begins, and it’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back as the reality of Nayeon’s actions come crashing down upon you. 

“What the hell, Nayeon?” You demand, shooting to your feet in sudden anger. You’re not even sure why you’re so angry. Her actions were relatively benign and harmless- whether she sets Taehyung up on any dates or not is actually none of your business. And the stupid fish is hers anyway so who cares if she’s still managing to kill them when you aren’t home? It’s stupid- it’s all so stupid!

And yet-!

“You have no business meddling in his life or mine like that!” You say, pouring out all the strange and antsy frustration you’re feeling on the easiest target; your annoying roommate. “If you’re upset, you talkto me! Instead, you’ve done all this, and I...” Your voice cracks. “And I...”

And you what?

You’re upset that another girl likes Taehyung? You’re annoyed that he’s gone out on dates that he probably didn’t even know were dates?  You know that you truly have no right to be upset, no ground to stand upon. Nayeon is right- you weren’t supposed to be moping around over something as simple as Taehyung being romantically interested in a girl. But here you are, upset, distressed... and jealous. 

Jealous of the look on Taehyung’s face as he had gazed thoughtfully across the lawns at Rose and Nayeon, the way the setting sun had gilded his profile in rich gold and turned his dark eyes into endless galaxies, jealous that someone else was on the receiving end of that look. 

Nayeon stares up at you- she’s probably a little too tipsy to be managing such an intense conversation, and you’re too upset to spare her any niceties. You turn your head away, pointedly ignoring the tears that have pooled in the corners of her widened eyes. 

“Whatever.” You grit out. “It’s stupid anyway. I’m going to bed.”

In the midst of the din of the campfire, no one really notices you slipping away, fighting back frustrated tears. 

Except one person, that is. 

His fingers are warm around your wrist, and you know it’s Taehyung before you even turn around to check. A burst of distress fills you, and you wrench your hand free like he’s burned you but it’s too late. You know he’s read your emotions from the way his expression shifts. 

“What’s wrong?” Taehyung demands, stepping forward to reach for you once more. “What happened?”

You pull back a step before you even register what you’re doing and it’s like you’ve slapped him. His eyes widen in hurt and shock. You bite your lip; you know that reading your emotions is important to Taehyung. It’s become synonymous with trust for him. He’s always been careful with who he touches- meticulously tugging at his sleeves to cover his fingertips and always wearing oversized clothes to cover as much skin as possible around everyone except a select few. And you’ve always been one of the select few that he can be his free, unrestricted self around.

And suddenly you’re pulling away without explanation. 

“Nothing’s wrong.” You say quickly, hoping to cover the intense guilt you suddenly feel. It’s no use, however. No matter how brief, he’d already felt the brief surge of your emotions- the anger, the bubbling distress, the hurt, the confusion. He knows something is wrong, but he’s also probably the last person you want to know that something is wrong. 

“(Y/n),” he calls, gentle and coaxing because that’s always worked in the past. He reaches for you again, and this time you panic. 

“Don’t!” You cry, and it comes out harsher than you intend. It doesn’t stop you from continuing, however. “Don’t touch me- just leave me alone!” 

Something happens in that moment; like the snap of a rubber band giving way. The recoil stings sharply and instantly you regret your words. Taehyung’s face goes slack for a moment before his expression shutters. He takes a deep breath, shaking on the exhale, before offering you a weak smile. 

“Ok.” He says, and its soft and giving, like the caving of a mattress under your body weight and your chest aches. “Good night then. I’ll see you in the morning.” 

You feel like the worst person alive.

++

You wake up late the next morning reeling with the memory of what you now recognise as a massive over-reaction. Bright sunlight streams between the lace curtains of your window and you stare dully up at the cracks of the ceiling of your room. Whoever you were sharing a room with is long gone; only the unmade bed signifies their presence.  

You can already hear the clang of cutlery from downstairs as your friends rouse around the house and prepare for breakfast. No one’s bothered to wake you yet but there always seems to be a collective agreement on trips like these that everyone wake up at their own pace. 

You’re grateful for that sentiment, and for the chance to mope alone for a moment. You hadn’t slept well- you’d tossed and turned and flitted from bad dream to bad dream. You feel exhausted.

Really, your behaviour last night had been silly. Both Nayeon and Taehyung had done nothing wrong. Even Rose hadn’t done anything wrong. The issue lies solely with you, and your own feelings. 

And if your feelings are the issue, the healthy thing to do would be to process your emotions and think things through. You should really give a name to the faceless beast that triggered such jealousy and misery inside you. But that feels like a terrifying thing to do- like standing on the edge of a cliff face and preparing to go bungee-jumping off the edge. 

With a sigh, you roll onto your side and bury your face into the pillow. The cotton is cool against your heated face and for a second, if you squeeze your eyes shut, things don’t seem so bad. 

And then a gentle knock comes and they seem bad again. 

“Come in.” You call, muffled by the pillow.

You’re not sure how you know it’s Taehyung, but your hunch is proven correct when he shuffles inside. He’s wearing a dark blue hoodie with his hood pulled over dark, curly hair and plaid pyjama bottoms that he hasn’t bothered to change out of. Everyone else is probably in their pyjamas downstairs anyway. He’s the picture of cosy when you finally allow your gaze to settle on him properly.

Foolishly, you hadn’t really prepared yourself for the moment you’d see him again after the fiasco that had occurred the night before. If you’d thought things would be the same after the revelations of the previous night, you were wrong. Instead, you’re struck, full-force like a truck slamming into a tiny clown car. Your gaze catches on the way the sunlight catches the tips of his hair, the way dark, alluring eyes peak beneath a curly fringe. Something in your chest stretches and expands outwards, like the melodic thrum of a guitar code. 

You like him. You’re not sure how or when or why. What did he do, that he’s burrowed so firmly into your heart with your knowledge? Was it seated on the harbour, watching the boats go by? Or curled up on the couch together after a bad day? Or was it even earlier- dark, lost eyes watching you through the rain like you were his last hope? You don’t know- something happened and now here you are, with a crush the size of Jupiter. What do you do, now that you know this? Now that the irrevocable truth is before you? 

You squeeze your eyes shut as if that will change anything. It doesn’t- behind your lids his smile is burned there like sunshine on a bright day. 

You hear the shuffle of his slippers against carpet and feel the edge of the bed you are facing dip with a new weight. When you open your eyes, he stares back, one arm resting on the bed. He’s crouched by the side of the bed, watching. Waiting. 

Slowly, very slowly like he’s approaching a skittish animal, he twists and manoeuvres his arm on the surface of the mattress until his palm faces upwards, outstretched towards you. 

It’s an invitation; you know that Taehyung won’t force you to share or to tell him what’s wrong or to explain why you shouted at him the night before. He’s kind like that- he’ll accept an apology with zero explanation. You’ve seen him do it countless times with Nayeon, smiling whenever she tosses a thoughtless and reluctant “sorry” his way. He’ll do the same with you, if you so wish it. 

But his outstretched hand is also a request- unbidden, you recall his prior words. “There’s nothing you can feel that I wouldn’t want to share in.”- that had been his admission to you. He wants you to trust him, to share the painful and ugly parts too.

And oddly... you want to share them with him. You want to share everything with him. You want to hold his hand. 

Hesitantly, you let your fingers slide against his palm. You imagine that maybe Taehyung was expecting misery and anger to slide through your skin to him, but you feel strangely calm. You’re not sure how he interprets that,  but Taehyung’s goal isn’t to know more. It’s to share with you- to empathise with you, and you know he’s happy with what you feel. Slowly, a smile slides across his face and he reaches a hand up to smooth his thumb affectionately across your temple, absently tucking a stray hair behind the crook of your ear. 

You can’t imagine what he feels pulse across the contact of where your fingers rest lightly against his palm but you hope you’re not too obvious. 

“Nayeon told me the two of you had a fight.” He admits. “I wanted to see if you’re ok.” 

His curls his fingers upwards, wrapping them around your hand and shifts upwards, settling onto the edge of your mattress. You move back, and he beams when he has enough space to lie down parallel to you. He stretches out, still with your hand clasped between the two of you. 

“I am.” You admit. “It was stupid to get upset, anyway.” 

Taehyung shakes his head, and he’s close enough that his hair nearly tickles your forehead with the movement. Up close, you can see the way his pupils are shaped differently- you’d aways assumed they’d be round, like a humans, but instead they’re pointed, like tiny little stars, and his eyes have the slightest blue sheen over them as a default. 

“It’s not stupid.” He reassures you. “You silly humans are always so quick to dismiss your feelings.” 

He wraps two hands around one of yours and drags it up so that he can press the back of your hand to his cheek. His eyes flutter closed, and it’s a little too much. You’re not sure what he feels from you in that moment, but for whatever reason he chooses not to comment on the intense flood of emotions he is surely experiencing from you. 

“I felt it last night.” He reminds you with a sigh, eyes still closed. His fingers tighten around yours just a fraction. “You were hurt- I felt it so clearly. That means that whatever happened last night hurt your feelings and it isn’t stupid for you to get upset. But I’m glad you’re feeling better, now.” He confesses. An eye blinks open to watch you curiously. 

Silence hovers between you. It’s not a bad way to spend the morning, curled up against him with your hand in his. Maybe it’s something the two of you could have, if he wanted it too. Maybe you could spend lazy mornings with him blinking sleepily at you and warm morning sunshine tickling the edges of his cheeks. Or you could spend the evenings together, huddled under the warmth of a blanket while you watch silly movies together and his eyes sparkling at you like they are now, like he knows a secret that’s just for the two of you. 

Your heart pulses and lurches, and you long for those things so fiercely you’re sure Taehyung is being bludgeoned with the onslaught of your longing and yet he doesn’t comment on it. 

“Taehyung,” you say, and though your voice is barely above a whisper, it echoes too harshly and loudly between the two of you. “I’m sorry about how I acted last night.”

The expression he gives you is warm and yielding- like butter melting against toast. 

“It’s ok.” He assures you. “As long as you’re ok, it has no matter.”

You smile at him, and the air between you heats. You can’t name what sensation crackles through the room, but your heart sits in your throat. Swallowing awkwardly, you’re suddenly too aware of your proximity, and Taehyung seems to be too from the uncertain look that has suddenly entered his eyes. You expect him to shift away, or pull back, or urge you to get ready so you can start the day now that the air has been cleared. But Taehyung makes no attempts to move.

Instead, just for the briefest moment, so quickly that you almost miss it, his gaze flickers down to your mouth. 

And then he’s lurching suddenly out of bed just in time for Jin’s shout to echo down the hallway. 

“Any stragglers who don’t get out of bed now don’t get any pancakes!” He calls. 

Taehyung scrambles out of the bed, still not quite looking at you. 

“We better get going!” He exclaims, voice cheerful and without a trace of the moment that had hovered between you before. “Otherwise we won’t get to go canooking!”

He’s out the door before you can correct him on the terminology, and you stare in bewilderment after him. 

For a long moment, you just sit there, dumbfounded in your bed, before you allow a smile to soften your face.  You’re glad Taehyung is largely unaffected by your behaviour last night, and there’s still time to enjoy the trip with him. 

There’s just one thing you have to do first. 

++

Nayeon is moping by the pier when you eventually find her. She sits, idly swinging her legs over the edge of the wooden planks and forlornly watching her friends splash around in the warm autumn morning. Taehyung remains onshore, trying to master the movements of the paddle while Jungkook swings it around like it’s a weapon. You’re going to have to teach him to do it properly at some stage but for now you have more important things to do. 

Like cheering up the birthday girl. 

“Here.” You say. You had intended to give the gift at the start of the trip, but between Nayeon’s strange behaviour and the chaos that had ensued following it, the opportunity had been lost. 

Now is as good a time as any, however, and you set the small wrapped box next to her. 

“I know you said no gifts, but I also know you were secretly hoping people would buy you gifts anyway.” You sigh, settling down beside her and swings your legs over the edge. The surface of the lake just wets the bottom of your reef shoes and little ripples of water spread out from where the soles of your feet make contact. 

Nayeon eyes it suspiciously, before leaning forward and plucking the box off the floor. She shakes it once, twice, before eagerly tearing at the wrapping paper. 

“I’m sorry.” You say, as she makes tears through the paper. Her fingers pause, mid-task, and dark eyes flicker to stare at you tentatively. 

“For what?” She asks. You shrug- discomfort swirls in your chest, but despite your reluctance, the words must be said. Because even though you had been strangely hurt by Nayeon’s scheming, she had acted out of hurt too. And Taehyung’s right- it’s wrong to just dismiss her feelings like that. If she got hurt, then those feelings are real. 

“For over-reacting last night.” You confess. And then you shoot her a furtive look out if the corner of your eye. “But also for making you feel insecure enough that you couldn’t just come and talk to me. That’s not what friends do.”

Nayeon stares at you for a long moment, before dropping her gaze back to the present. Her hands tremble as she carefully resumes unwrapping it. It takes her a moment to gather enough composure to reply. 

“I didn’t know you’d be so upset by it.” She admits. “I wouldn’t have done it if I’d known you actually liked him. I just thought… I thought it was like every other thing in your life, where you don’t actually care who comes and goes.”

You stare at her in surprise. 

“Is that what you think?” You wonder aloud. “That I don’t care?”

Strangely, you’re not offended by her assumption- after all, isn’t it what you are constantly trying to convince yourself? That you don’t care? That people can come and go?

The thing is, you do care. No matter how much you try and convince yourself, you care too much. 

“You seem like you don’t.” She admits. Her gaze turns back to the shoreline, catching on Taehyung who is now splashing idly in the shallows with his paddle with the same fascination a child might hold. “But you do. And as your friend, I should be able to recognise things like that.”

She finally finishes unwrapping the gift, and her eyes widen at the content inside. 

It’s the trigger she needs- finally, she meets your gaze. 

“I don’t think you over-reacted at all.” She confesses. “You got jealous, is all. That happens. That’s normal. And it’s my fault for forgetting that you’re human just like the rest of us.”

Her gaze flicks down to the gift, a necklace she had been eyeing for months but always lost the opportunity to buy. 

“I feel like I don’t deserve this.” She says. And then she looks back to you. “I’m sorry too. It was wrong if me to try and sabotage your friendship with him. Even if you didn’t like him, it still would have been wrong. People got hurt because I was being silly.”

You smile awkwardly at her. 

“It’s ok. We both acted dumb last night. And, for the record, I do care about you. Somewhat.” You reassure her.

She stares at the box with a sigh, before smiling at you. 

And then she sets the box down and slaps her own cheeks so aggressively you yelp in surprise. 

“Enough mushy talk!” She cries suddenly. She points at you aggressively. “It’s my birthday! Time to enjoy things! You’re coming in my canoe.”

You glance over your shoulder at Taehyung, back on the shoreline. 

“But what about-“ you protest. 

“He can “kanook” with you over my cold, dead body, (Y/N).” She asserts a little too seriously. “Now that I know you like him like that I’m gonna have to fight twice as hard if I want your attention.”

She grabs you by the wrist, dragging you towards the boat-shed and ignoring your squawked protests. 

She does throw you one little boon, over her shoulder though. 

“He rejected Rose, by the way. She asked him to go to some lookout together and he said he couldn’t because you’re afraid of heights.”

And it’s wrong to smile but you do anyway. Crushes are weird like that.

[dracothedeatheatingcupcake-ao3]

Hey... hi don't wanna sound rude or anything but are you going to update the Problem with Mondo ? No pressure to say yes ! I'll understand if you don't want to !! After all you have another fanfic in progress or you maybe just don't want to write it anymore and that's fine, i just want to know.

Hope you have a good day !

Hi!! No worries, it wasn’t rude at all! Honestly, I’ve been waiting for someone to ask about TPWM.

So. Short answer: I’ve given up on writing TPWM for the foreseeable future. And I wouldn’t hold out hope on me continuing, because I’ve grown a bit disenchanted with the whole series. I’m hoping that with time and distance I’ll grow fond of it again, but for now, the story has been discontinued.

Now, I DO still have one last chapter, but I’ve been struggling to even edit it, because I keep seeing errors and have been struggling to fix them. I think I’ll post it even despite the errors soon, but I’ve been so busy between work, internship, and school, I just don’t have time or energy. I actually had considered posting on Taka’s birthday, but there were a lot of terrible things that happened that week (one of which was my older brother getting COVID right before he was going to head out to PAX West, something he’d been looking forward to for almost a year. Luckily he tested negative quick enough to go to the last two days, but it was a stressful weekend).

I really am sorry about this!! I’ve honestly been struggling to write lately, but have gotten inspired to write for an old WIP of mine, so I want to keep focused on the things I am interested in, not the things I’m waning in interest on. I haven’t written the fic off entirely, but considering the story has been finished with TPWP, it’s my least priority at the moment. Plus, each chapter is just too long. It’s draining to write. -.-

Anyway, thanks for the ask!! ^-^

[onbearfeet]

1. Times New Roman, 12-point, double-spaced. It's effectively invisible to me, so I can focus on the words and not the letters.

2. I started out handwriting everything. I could do it again if I had a steady supply of comfortable pens. Unfortunately, my go-to was recently discontinued and I'm looking for a replacement.

3. I write when I'm home alone or when my roommate is asleep. I've always been a late-night writer...as in, staying up until 2 am to write novels at age 13.

4. "Alright". IT IS TWO WORDS AND A FINE HILL TO DIE ON IF I HAVE TO.

5. Never edit in the same format you wrote in. Also, the steel wastebasket and WW2-surplus office chair I inherited from my grandmother are writer-magic.

6. That I'll never stop being crap at it. (Doesn't matter that lots of people say I'm not actually crap. *I* know better.)

7. Rereading something I wrote and getting so absorbed in it that I forget what I was supposed to be doing (usually cleaning).

8. Tough choice. I think I'd flip a coin, and then reinterpret a fairytale.

9. I do not believe in ghosts except for the one ghost that visited me one time. But that was my grandmother, and I'm pretty sure she's her own category of entity.

10. Hahahahaha I literally have nightmares about my old work. Not least because my first novel netted me a stalker who's still popping up to ruin my day over a decade later. (Hi, this is a pseudonym.)

11. I am pretty ruthless. But some of my darlings do ACTUALLY go to a nice farm upstate, and sometimes they wander home again later on.

12. That something I write be loved by good people for many years after I'm gone; that something I write bring me financial stability (it needn't be the same something); that I write something that leaves the world better than I found it.

13. Sex is hard. Fights are easy. I'm aware of the absurdity.

14. I lend a lot of books, but I never lend a book I'm not willing to lose. I do lose a lot of them. Sometimes they come back.

15. I don't write in or dog-ear books unless it's a proof copy I'm marking up. I don't mind other people who do, so long as they don't do it in other people's books without permission. I would read in the bath if I had a bathtub. I think reading in the shower is ill-advised. We can still be friends as long as you don't maul my books.

16. A wooden marionette dressed as a clown.

17. Two of my leads, Maggie and Gabe, have entire backstories that just won't fit (and in Maggie's case, she doesn't know because it all happened before she was two). I know how Maggie's parents met, but it's just not narratively relevant; sometimes even crappy histories like hers aren't dramatic. Gabe, meanwhile, has TONS of drama and remembers it all when he tries but almost none of it matters to the story. Oh, and I know who his aunt is, but you'll never meet her.

18. In the first chapter of the book, Maggie interrupts some fash who are harassing a woman on the street for not "respecting" them. I've gotten some pushback from the more conservative members of my writing group who think it's "unrealistic" to have random street Nazis in my world and also to have them harassing people. I take a certain bitter pride in pointing out that 1) the scene is taken pretty closely from an incident documented by the US State Department in Berlin in 1933; all I did was change the location and let Maggie kick them in the head, and 2) we literally HAVE fascist street gangs in the US now, there's one that hangs out in the next neighborhood over from me, and this story is semi-post-apocalyptic, so if anything I'm letting people off easy.

19. I began making up stories when I was 3 and writing them down when I was 5. I accidentally started a cult in high school when other people got hold of my notebooks. Then I picked up a stalker, had to burn down my life to escape him, and am now reestablishing myself under a pseudonym. I just wanna tell fun lil stories that also jab certain people and societal forces in the eye; is that so wrong?

20. The one true love. I've learned to be satisfied with the results of hard work on my writing, but I'm acespec and I'm hot garbage at anything related to sex or romance. Magical assistance would be great, thank you.

21. I've gotten depressed enough to put it aside for a while. But it always comes back.

22. Notebooks, plus a sketchbook with little bits of index card stuck to the pages with poster putty. It sounds very organized. It is not.

23. Right now, I sit in a squishy beige recliner with my crappy kids' laptop, Potato, balanced on a lap desk. My mug of tea is at my left elbow, ALMOST out of reach, because I can't be assed to move it closer or to my dominant side. I'm in my living room, with a slightly busted beige couch along the wall to my left, a scarred coffee table in front of me, and my roommate's flat-screen to my right. I face my balcony door, which is usually open with the screen shut so I can hear the little fake streak burbling and eavesdrop on my neighbors.

24. The length of my prep is roughly proportionate to the planned length of my story. I like prepping; I learn a lot from it, and then throw most of it out.

25. Gabe likes black licorice.

26. I just kind of...hear voices and feel them? It's like sitting beside someone on a loveseat, but also 1/3 of your body shares space with 1/3 of theirs. It's blurry, is what it is. I don't usually regret going in there because my own head is worse.

27. A genderswapped reinterpretation of Sherlock Holmes. The OG looms large in my childhood imagination, and even though I'm one of those people who gets called smart before we're called anything else, writing super-smart characters is hard for me. How deep into the weeds can I get before I lose the audience? Herlock (not her name) lived in that gray zone and was MISERABLE about it. All my childhood neurodivergent isolation welled up in her. It was rough.

28. I haven't actually written her down yet. She's currently called the Bear Mother. She's like a warm cup of tea sitting in a corner of my brain.

29. Things just ... happen to me. I've lived and read enough that my brain is full of random bits of knowledge and experience and they all collide sometimes. Moat often the trigger is someone asking me a question or telling me I can't do something.

30. I've read in dreams, but not written. And yes, I've used my dreams in my writing. I have a recurring nightmare that informs the aesthetic of a Very Bad Place in one of my stories. If you're reading something of mine and you see chessboard floor tiles or white walls with black wrought-iron decor, be afraid.

31. Thank you. You are Best Humans, and the bears love you, each and every one. 💜

32. All of Nation by Terry Pratchett. I won't choose.

33. I sew, draw, paint, and bake. And yes, particularly the sewing. Every outfit my characters fight in CAN be fought in.

34. You don't have to use it in every circumstance because it's not always strictly necessary, but also excuse you sir that is my emotional support punctuation.

35. Minimum paragraph length? Kiss my ass. I will have paragraphs less than one word long and the words won't even be in the dictionary.

36. Lots of things, most of them strange and all of them terrifying if you think long enough about them. But for a short list: American evangelicalism, archery, quilting, how to swear in at least 12 languages, how to perform a convincing (and quick) fake exorcism (ritual also works as a curse), Shakespeare, teddy-bear design, the history of carousel horses, and how to make friends with wolves.

37. "Some writers have issues; this one had longboxes."

38. I use what I call a socratic process, in which I ask myself a series of questions and then write down both the question and the answer. I frequently argue woth myself, which makes the results ... interesting to read.

39. The belief that someone out there needs it. There's such a thing as the right book for the right person at the right time, and the idea of having that book and not setting it free to find its person horrifies me.

40. "Bone to ash and soul to sky;/One to scatter, one to fly." -The start of the best poem I've ever written, from a book that will never be published now. I'm still glad I wrote it, though, and Peter Beagle said he liked that line.

Weird Questions for Writers (because writers are weird)

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

2. If you had to give up your keyboard and write your stories exclusively by hand, could you do it? If you already write everything by hand, a) are you a wizard and b) pen or pencil?

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true?

6. What is your darkest fear about writing?

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

8. If you had to write an entire story without either action or dialogue, which would you choose and how would it go?

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

14. Do you lend your books to people? Are people scared to borrow books from you? Do you know exactly where all your “lost” books are and which specific friend from school you haven’t seen in twelve years still possesses them? Will you ever get them back?

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

16. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever used as a bookmark?

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

20. If a witch offered you the choice between eternal happiness with your one true love and the ability to finally finish, perfect, and publish your dearest, darlingest, most precious WIP in exactly the way you've always imagined it — which would you choose? You can’t have both sorry, life’s a bitch

21. Could you ever quit writing? Do you ever wish you could? Why or why not?

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

23. Describe the physical environment in which you write. Be as detailed as possible. Tell me what’s around you as you work. Paint me a picture.

24. How much prep work do you put into your stories? What does that look like for you? Do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it?

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

28. Who is the most delightful character you’ve ever written? Why?

29. Where do you draw your inspiration? What do you do when the inspiration well runs dry?

30. Talk to me about the role dreams play in your writing life. Have you ever used material from your dreams in your writing? Have you ever written in a dream? Did you remember it when you woke up?

31. Write a short love letter to your readers.

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

33. Do you practice any other art besides writing? Does that art ever tie into your writing, or is it entirely separate?

34. Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go:

35. What’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens?

36. They say to Write What You Know. Setting aside for a moment the fact that this is terrible advice...what do you Know?

37. If you were to be remembered only by the words you’ve put on the page, what would future historians think of you?

38. What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share. If you’re not comfortable, what do you think cats say about us?

39. What keeps you writing when you feel like giving up?

40. Please share a poem with me, I need it.

[angrilymanaging]

So today I officially decided that I was over social media. Like I tried to can with the Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok apps but I simply cannot. I’m convinced that those particular apps are for the willfully ignorant, and I couldn’t. I’m a writer, and that’s what I do. Most people on those apps don’t even read write or spell very well. It’s easier for me to use my blog. Also I went to Only Fans, cause I do like to post the occasional pic and video. Truth is I’m grown. To much kid shit on those apps. I really don’t play, like I’m not an internet thug, I really be ready to punch a bitch in the face, you come out ya mouth wrong at me, and people in those places like to talk. I like to talk as well, I got a smart ass mouth, and if you try me I will verbally assassinate you, with zero hesitation so. It’s the immaturity for me for real. I can’t get with that shit, and I don’t care much for stooping to someone else’s level, so it was best for me to move on. I dont have time for it anyway, also I have a You Tube, so I will just focus on that. I dont have time to be postin so much anyway. I’m able to write, and make videos in the little down time I have so, I really am not interested anymore.

Sometimes you just grow out of things. Like when I started using Facebook, it was probably 2010, and when I opened mine, I had to use my MCC school ID, to gain access. They started letting anybody on that shit, and it went to hell. I got caught up with Instagram, I was looking to be a brand ambassador and they told me I couldn’t yet because my following was too small. They had me sign up and pay for a service that was supposed to “organically grow” my following, at the end of the day, when I shut that down, I think I had 12 point something thousand followers the Fck?!! And now I’m famous for reasons nobody probably should be, and still no brand ambassador job, and everybody in my business for nothing so never mind no thank you. Pettiness and bs on tiktok was the same, dirty ass niggas, and the women child, I don’t even have a lot of respect for women, so imagine the vexation. Like if you a bitch I would just prefer you not even bother like unless you wanna fight, but obviously they don’t just like a woman they only wanted to sit on they ass and run their mouths. You not bout to aggravate me on my damn phone.

I have or at least I’d like to think that I have a level of confidence that absolutely at this point will not be matched. I’d rather write, and post pics, and vids that make you upset cause I know ya nigga look at them, regardless of how ugly y’all claim I am. Plus I had a conversation with the S.O. Who’s aggravated but not cause I’m on my phone so much, but not really. I gather there are things out in the open that they would prefer me not find out, cause the town where I live is messy as fck, and that’s fine cause you do whatever. I will simply follow suit, but as it suits me. I gather by the types of women who come for me, that I legit am just not their type. I never was… bitch tried to treat me like they would treat that type though, and I wasn’t havin it… I’m still not, baby listen, when I came to the realization, like legit that shit has recently been hitting me over the head like a ton of bricks lately, its aggravating to because I really thought… but since don’t nobody pay me to think, I’m just gonna do what comes naturally to me. I’m more quiet anyway when I keep a journal, and between writing, keeping a video blog and Only fans, I feel like I might just find some balance, which has always been my goal.

I enjoy journalism. Social media, I thought was like the new age it right, because news papers, and magazines have all since been discontinued, But it seems like the world of social media is filled with, narcissism, ignorance and it disgusts me now. Of course I’m miserable, It’s like going to school everyday encountering bullies, and I HATE BULLIES WITH A PASSION. I’m only a mean girl when I encounter them, and I’m trying to move 100 % into my feminine, and it is not going to happen anywhere on any of those apps. There’s only a certain amount of gate keeping I’m gonna accept, and this over here is my lane. I dont have to worry about having to avoid dumb shit on my own pages, I can just come and be legit focused on myself. I have a feeling though that, they will come, but it will be harder for them to be discreet with the dumb shit over here. I just don’t have time anymore. I don’t want to be unhappy so I’m not. Not about to bother with trolls, and that’s what they look like on and off line. Child most of them don’t even have all their teeth in their mouth. People like that try to make you miserable, because they have no substance in their life. I’m convinced even this thang I live with. I don’t even it’s late, and I don’t really even have the energy to get into it, I know for facts that my content writing, and vlogging will turn up more than it’s fair share. Let’s just say that anything to get a rise out of me is going to be the topic, lucky My discovery of me will be where I find peace. Nothing like writing it down, and talking to myself about it, along with a fire ass pic to put me in a better mood about me, GOD knows I deserve it.

My whole life I have been around nothing it seems but people who try really hard to keep me from me. I just came also to the conclusion that, My kids are raised. I am not and cannot have anymore babies, and I’m young enough now to live my life for me. Obviously I’m still a mother… but not like I was, not like when my kids were little. They aren’t anymore, and it ain’t nothin behind my cervix but womb. I am beautiful, I have a decent body, which I’m bout to work really hard on and for the first time in my life, acne isn’t plaguing my face. Mind My business? Bet baby, cause I never had the chance to be wrapped up in me. I’m about to start though. The people worried about me bein in their business need not worry. They will be looking for me before I’m EVER looking for them. It’s always like that.

[be-with-me-so-happily]

Chapter 7

Series Summary: There are moments in our lives that have a major impact. The interactions, the adventures, and the love, all make up who we are. But when Harry can't remember those moments with YN, they are both left wondering what that means for themselves and their relationship.

Chapter Summary: This is (again) from Harry's point of view. Oh Harry, honey, has dug himself a hole and now he has to climb out of it. Does he actually have a chance? Does one memory regained mean anything for the rest of them?

~~~~~

Chapter Warnings: Some explicit language, doctor appointment, ANGSTY ANGST

~~~~~

Time. And Torment.

That's all Harry has had since discovering his feelings for YN. Well, besides the doctor's appointment he has today.

"So, Harry, how have you been feeling lately?" Dr. Green asks.

Physically he's fine. Emotionally, he's bruised. Bruised and bleeding, to give a more accurate description. It's just a shame that Dr. Green can't do anything to fix that.

"Alright I guess." He answers, looking down at his lap as he sits across from her, a sigh slipping out before he can catch it.

"Hmm." She answers, jotting down notes on her computer, her reaction not providing much hint of belief. "And what about your memory?"

"Actually…" His eyes glance up at hers. "I did have one memory come to my mind last week."

"That's great." She replies, though Harry would not agree considering the context of said memory, and the fact that it wasn't one of the more important or more recent ones that he should be experiencing. "I don't want to get your hopes up, but it is a good sign. More could come back, slowly over time or very suddenly. Either way, it could be overwhelming, so just be aware of that."

He almost scoffs at the mention of something being overwhelming, as he isn't sure much could compare to what he has been going through lately.

"I think that's all we need to discuss. Do you have any concerns?"

If only she could help him repair a hurting heart, or two.

•••

"You're really not even coming tonight?" Mitch asks Harry, sitting on the couch at his and Sarah's place.

"I just don't see why I would." He responds, mildly annoyed that this is probably the fifth time since Harry got there that Mitch has asked him this same question.

"Because I want you to meet two of the singers performing tonight…" Mitch states, discontinuing strumming on his guitar.

Harry sighs at the thought of going to the opening night of Aman's bar. He doesn't know, or at least doesn't remember the owner, but he does know who will inevitably be there. It's not that Harry doesn't want to see YN, it's actually the opposite, but the week that he knew she was away just caused him even more doubt that he deserves a second chance. He knows it could hurt him to see her and not have her, but he also knows it could cause her the same pain, even though she isn't aware of what he truly wants now.

"M'just… not feeling up to it." He replies, unsure if Mitch knows the deeper meaning behind his answer. He runs a hand through his hair and tilts his head to meet Mitch's gaze.

"Alright, alright." Mitch sighs. "But you should meet them at some point. Ny Oh and Elin are really good."

"Yeah. Maybe we can just… set something up for later."

Sarah walks over holding a dish and three plates. She sets it all down and hands Harry a plate full, when he notices what she's serving. He glares at her and she shrugs her shoulders.

"Hey… I finally learned how to do it… now I wanna make it all the time!" She chuckles, cutting herself a slice of her second attempt at YN's famous casserole and handing the plate to Mitch.

"You're ridiculous." Harry scoffs, taking a moment to look at the food and sighing before he takes a bite. It doesn't taste exactly the same, it probably never could, but he finds a little comfort in the meal, now that he knows it was created by her, and for him.

He begins to frown at himself, but catches it before his friends see. He isn't mad, he is simply surprised that he feels so strongly for YN, someone that his mind has told him he's only known for a month or so. He's beginning to think that while his brain may not acknowledge those old memories of her, but that it could still hold onto those old feelings, and maybe now they are seeping through.

"Aman did say that we can play some gigs there anytime, if we want to." Sarah states, snapping Harry out of his rabbit hole of thoughts.

"Yeah. Maybe." He slightly agrees. "What… umm… what songs do we usually play?"

"Well…" The couple look at each other as they answer in unison, and Sarah gets up, walking back to their bedroom and returning with a folder full of papers. As she comes around the couch again, she hands it to Harry.

"These are the usuals, and a few new ones that you boys wrote recen-... well, recently for us, I guess. Completely new to you."

Harry flips through the sheet music, seeing a few Fleetwood Mac songs, and covers of some more recent music. He flips a page over and lands on a few that he doesn't recognize, assuming they must be ones that the band has recently written.

"Ours?" He asks, holding up a few pages, but continuing to scan the words with his eyes. The lyrics are ones he can see himself writing with Mitch, the way he expresses his emotions, and he continues to read. The first one certainly doesn't have the tone of love or joy in it, especially considering it's called 'Two Ghosts', and it seems fitting. As he reads over the last line, he comes to the conclusion that this was most likely about Tabitha. At least a good song came out of that horrible situation.

He doesn't even acknowledge any answer or statement that his friends may have given, as he becomes engrossed in reading the lyrics of the second page in his hand. This one is the complete opposite, full of passion and desire.

"Who wrote this one?" He looks up to Mitch and flips the paper over to show the sheet music with the title 'Medicine'.

Sarah and Mitch look at each other and Harry notices the obvious look of mischief between them. It is clear to him that it means the song is about their relationship, although the lyrics do seem a bit more outgoing than their natural personalities.

"Okay you two, I get it. It's your song." He chuckles, only to be met with dual looks of confusion and debate from each of his friends.

"No, man. That's yours, too…" Mitch smirks. "That's about YN."

A tightness forms inside, but Harry determines that it is not one of any negative emotion, but giddiness instead. He figured he has written songs about her, that's what he does, but now he can see, read, and understand what he felt for her in that moment. As he determined before, it's full of passion and desire.

"Oh!" He finally responds, flickering his gaze between his friends and one of his forgotten songs, chuckling at himself as he rereads the words yet again. "I was pretty whipped huh?"

"Wouldn't say whipped… but you two are constantly, adorably, and almost disgustingly drawn to each other." Sarah replies with a mild giggle under her breath.

"And she gets you out of the house, out of your comfort zone! That's the point of the song. I wasn't joking when I said she made you more fun." Mitch laughs, receiving a sharp elbow into his ribcage from Sarah.

Harry sighs, knowing that not only do the lack of memories prevent him from having that with YN, but now his idiotic actions have too. He can't help but wonder about all the things he is missing out on now.

"Harry..." Sarah states softly. "I still think you should try to talk to her."

Harry simply responds with a shrug. He doesn't want to give up, it's getting harder to wrap his head around the idea that he's lost his chance. But the idea of possibly hurting her again is even stronger. What if he never regains his memories? What if he can't be as good as the Harry she knows him to be? What if she decides he doesn't measure up to who he once was? That last thought is obviously full of concern for his own heart, but it's one he can't help thinking about.

"She deserves better." He shakes his head, the sadness once again seeping back in and taking over the moment of contentment that he had just been experiencing.

"She wants y-"

"Sarah." Mitch interrupts, shooting her a quick glance, and Harry drops his gaze. "Look, man, we just want you to be happy, both of you. That's all."

"I know." He nods in reply. Maybe it is due to a bit of self-preservation of himself to not jump at the chance to reach out to her, but he really does believe she should always be put first. From what he's heard, and personally experienced, she always takes care of others. She is owed her own happiness, and being the one taken care of. Not that she can't do that for herself, she is plenty capable, but that doesn't mean she has to and that she needs to all of the time. She deserves a partner who is always there for her, and he wasn't. He tries to cut himself some slack, considering his injury, but it's becoming less and less of a valid excuse for him. Because, memory loss or not, he didn't treat her right and she does deserve better.

"I want her to be happy too."

•••

Harry's phone sits on the kitchen counter, only just within arms reach, as he does his best to avoid scrolling through social media to get any glimpse of the events unfolding at BarCode tonight.

The book in his hands was a decent distraction for a while, but as he looks up from the current page it is open to, he realizes he hasn't absorbed any information from that entire chapter.

"Bloody hell, what's wrong with me?" He whispers to himself, resting his face in his palms as his elbows keep him propped up.

"You're in love, you blithering idiot." He hears from behind him, swiveling around on the kitchen bar stool to be met with an eye roll from his older sister. "Even if you don't remember."

"I just don't see how… that's possible…" He responds, not fully convincing even himself, considering how he has begun to believe that his mind is still holding onto those feelings, even if they are locked away with his memories. Maybe it isn't love yet, or again in this case, but what he is feeling is certainly stronger than he imagined it would be at this point, and he can't seem to reel it in. He's not sure he wants to, except for the fact that he's not able to express it to YN.

Another eye roll from Gemma is sent his way, accompanied by a head shake.

Suddenly, she pushes his book to the side and replaces it with the photo album his mum had flipped through on his first day out of hospital. It is open to a page filled with photos of Harry, Mitch, and Sarah performing on different stages. Alongside most of them are candid polaroids of YN as she watches from the crowd, with a beaming smile on her face and her hands thrown up as she dances.

He smiles as his eyes flicker over each one and he feels an intense flutter in his chest. It's familiar, he's felt it before, not that he can pinpoint the exact time or place it occurred.

"You should just go, Harry. At least see her, and then decide what you want to do."

"I just-"

"I'm the oldest, so you have to do it!" She interrupts, pushing her fist against his shoulder.

"That's not how sibling-ship works…"

"Okay, but Mum actually agrees too, so… you have to do what she says." She chuckles, placing her hands on her hips as she attempts to strengthen her point.

He glares and growls, frustrated with the fact that they are right, and that he actually does want to go. Also frustrated with the fact that they seem to know this, that they think they can tell him what to do, and that it is working.

"This is stupid." He states blankly, slowly getting off of the bar stool, not entirely sure if he is following her advice (more like demand) yet or not.

"Yeah, well, it's you." She sarcastically replies, getting closer and grabbing his elbow. "But… it's really not. Just… see how it goes, yeah? I'm heading that way anyway, so I can drop you off."

"How convenient." He sighs, finally caving into her suggestion, grabbing a coat as he follows her out the door.

•••

The entire car ride was filled with anxiety, however it disappears when he meets up with Mitch and Sarah, hearing that they haven't seen YN all night. He isn't quite sure if he is relieved or saddened that he won't get to confront her tonight. At least he will have the chance to talk to the band members his friends have been so adamant that he meet.

He focuses on the song they begin to play, already liking their vibe, and allowing himself to relax. This night out could do him some good after all, even if it isn't how he wanted it to go.

As the song ends and they set up for the next, Harry unintentionally scans the room for familiar faces, thoroughly aware it's YN's that he is seeking out. He sighs in defeat, figuring out that Mitch and Sarah had been right, and she wasn't there.

A familiar laugh suddenly draws his attention to the back of the bar, closer to the stage. He steps side to side and stretches his neck to get a view of where it came from. His gaze finds a few people sitting on a velvet couch, tucked against the side wall, and his eyes instantly land on YN. His breath hitches, filled with both excitement and anxiety from actually seeing her there. As much as he disliked the idea of her not being there, the fact that she actually is has made his body freeze. However, it gives him a chance to look her over. She looks good in her oversized sweater and skirt, with thigh high boots. Pretty and comfortable, which is exactly how he's known her to be over the past few weeks.

The idea and urge to talk to her instantly overwhelms him. He can, and he wants to, and he should. At least he can give her an apology, and maybe some clarity. And if he isn't given the chance to redeem himself, then he will settle for the fact that he tried. It's ultimately her decision of course, and he would never force anything on her, especially since she was so gracious to do the same for him. But maybe, just maybe, he could do right by her. It's about time that he did.

His confidence isn't at an adequate level to get him to move that way, so he heads to the restroom to gather himself.

He cups cold water in his hands and splashes it over his face, shocking his system and waking it up to be prepared for what will take place. As he dries off, he takes some deep breaths, running over a few specific things he wants to say to her, no matter what happens.

As he walks back out into the main area, that same laugh catches his attention again, this time much closer than before. He searches around and finds her again, now standing at the bar and chatting with Adhira. A small sense of relief washes over him, thankful that she is with someone that he knows, which will hopefully lessen the awkwardness of this encounter.

He stops in his tracks when he sees someone approaching them. The guy first gives Adhira a quick hug, and his heart sinks as he notices the excitement in YN as he then wraps one arm around her shoulders and gives her a quick kiss on her cheek.

"What?" He whispers under his breath, his heart sinking further and his chest tightening. As beautiful as her smile is, the sight of it in this moment is paining him to the point that his knees might buckle. She's happy, which is what he wants for her, but it's not with him and it's with someone else, which is definitely not what he was hoping for. Now it's clear that he has lost his opportunity. It's over, and it's probably what he deserves.

He quickly makes his way back over to his friends, knowing he won't be able to survive being there much longer.

"I've got to go." He states as he reaches them.

"Ny Oh and Elin are almost done, dude." Mitch replies, giving Harry an inquisitive look at his sudden anxious demeanor.

"M'sorry. I just… I can't be here." He responds, suddenly hearing YN laugh once more, and turning his head slightly towards the noise, before catching it and snapping his gaze back to Mitch.

Sarah looks past him.

"YN's here. I thought you wanted to talk to her…" She questions, but Harry shakes his head as he hears what he assumes is the laugh of the guy who now has her attention. "I think she's with-"

"Yeah I don't need to know." He snaps, frowning at Sarah before patting Mitch on the back. "I'll meet the ladies another time. Promise. I just can't stick around."

"But I think that's-"

"Please." Harry puts his hand up to Sarah, hoping his gesture will give her the hint that he wants as little information as possible about the situation occurring behind him, with the one person he wishes he could be having that with. "M'gonna go. I'll talk to you later."

He turns around and hurriedly walks towards the entrance, stopping before he walks through, taking one more glance at the bar and one more glance at YN before he leaves. His heart stops when he sees her head twist around and catch his gaze for just a second, then doing a double take and meeting his eyes. A large lump in his throat, and an intense amount of embarrassment, instantly form inside and he quickly leaves the venue that he never wanted to be at in the first place.

His friends were wrong, his sister was wrong, and he was wrong. Going there and trying to talk to her was a mistake, he has already lost his chance. But he supposes that the one good thing that has come from it is that now he knows.

•••

He slams the front door as he enters his mum's house, heading straight to his childhood room. He isn't mad, he shouldn't be at least, and it isn't directed towards YN. He's angry with himself, but that's not a new feeling anyway, it's just become stronger.

"Harry! What-"

"Mum, I just need… I just…" He begins to growl, again not at anyone but himself. His emotions are running so high he doesn't even want to be in anyone else's presence, for his sake and theirs. "I just need a shower and to go to bed."

"Alright. I'm here if you need me." She replies softly, an obvious worried tone in her voice, and he closes the bedroom door behind him. He plops down to sit on the edge of his bed, throwing his palms up to his face.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." He growls to himself. He doesn't want to just sit there in his thoughts any longer, so he gets up, grabs a pair of sweats, and heads into the bathroom. Not that those thoughts will halt in any way, but maybe the routine of a shower can put a temporary distraction on them.

He steps in as it reaches the perfect temperature, immediately letting the water wash over his face and through his hair. His arms shoot out and he pushes his palms against the shower, suddenly feeling dizzy, and stopping himself from falling. He hates this, he hates himself, he doesn't even want to be around himself, and he can't blame YN for not wanting to be either. Though he really, really wishes she would.

His fingers start tapping against the wall he is holding himself up against, trying to bring himself back to the task the shower was supposed to provide him- distraction. Unintentionally, he starts to tap a beat and begins to hum along. It feels sad, but what else would it feel like considering his current emotions, and he uses it as an anchor to finish his cleansing routine, even if it's only physical.

But even as he turns off the water and dries himself with his towel, the melody continues to play in his mind, as if it's in tune with his soul.

He drops down backwards onto his bed, covering his face with his arms resting across it, as the tune continues to play in his mind. However, thoughts of YN accompany it and he understands the melody is fueled by his feelings for her.

What does he do? If he didn't really know who he was before, he definitely doesn't know now. He wanted to be who YN had known him to be, or at least be someone she'd now want to be with. He feels his heart sinking again, falling down out of his chest to somewhere he can't reach.

What am I now?

What am I now?

What if I'm someone I don't want around?

I'm falling again

I'm falling again

I'm falling

But it looks like she doesn't want that anymore. He's lost his chance. Now she'll eventually move on, and he will just be a memory to her.

What if I'm down?

What if I'm out?

What if I'm someone you won't talk about

I'm falling again

I'm falling again

I'm falling

As much as he doesn't want to move, he pushes himself off the bed, and rummages through the closet to find the box of notebooks that Adhira had given back to him over a week ago.

He opens the one on top, flipping through to find the next blank page. He grabs a pen from the nightstand and his guitar he had displayed in the corner of the room, and sits back down on the edge of the bed.

His hand begins to scribble furiously as he jots down the words that were just flowing through his mind, feeling the slightest bit of weight release from his shoulders as he engages in the best way he knows how to express his feelings. He puts down the pen and begins to strum some chords on his guitar. As his chest squeezes tightly, he opens his mouth to reveal the words his heart just worried itself with.

And I get the feeling that you'll never need me again

"Fuck." He mutters, realizing he is unable to continue this song writing journey at the moment. He puts down the guitar onto the bed, and as he begins to close the journal, a curiosity fills him. He wonders what the last song written down was.

He flips the page backwards and reads over the lyrics, noticing the chords marked above them. So he picks the guitar back up, looking over the first verse and beginning to strum.

Walking your rainbow paradise

Strawberry lipstick state of mind

I get so lost inside your eyes

Would you believe it?

He instantly comes to the conclusion that this is about YN, since it describes her perfectly. The rainbow representing her bright and fun personality, the strawberry lipstick line speaks for itself as her lips were always that color, and he realizes he did get lost in her eyes on occasion, especially during the party at Sarah and Mitch's place. It was a big part of the reason why he kissed her that night.

You don't have to say you love me

You don't have to say nothing

You don't have to say you're mine

He must've been terrified writing this, but not in a bad way. It sounds like it could be about the first time he told her he loved her, but something inside him just knows there's more to it.

Honey

I'd walk through fire for you

Just let me adore you

Oh honey

I'd walk through fire for you

Just let me adore you

Like it's the only thing I'd ever do

Like it's the only thing I'd ever do

He pauses for a moment. He understands that he wrote these lyrics for her, but realizes that's exactly how she's been treating him since the accident. He didn't have to say any of the words she wanted to hear, but she still loved and adored him as much as he was comfortable with.

She probably would've done it forever if he had let her. He's an idiot for not, and he wishes he could do that for her now. If he's honest with himself, he had adored her since they met, something about her just made him want to do anything for her. After that first day at the cafe, he couldn't get her off of his mind, which is why he went back the next day.

Harry straightens up and almost drops the guitar on the floor. His heart races which is then quickly accompanied by his breathing. He remembers the time they met. He remembers her profusely apologizing for spilling her coffee on him, and being enamored by how cute she was talking about her cupcake's purpose and how she likes life sweet. This isn't just a replay from when she explained their first meeting, this is certainly a memory, because she did not include those details when she talked about it. He picks the guitar back up again, hands a little shaky this time, and continues to play the next verse.

You're wonder under summer skies

Brown skin and lemon over ice

Would you believe it?

Jamaica. That was about Jamaica, when he and Sarah joined the program to teach kids how to read sheet music, asking YN and Mitch to join them. They would have the weekends off and just relax on the beach, her entire being just glowing in the sun, and he was so grateful he got to be the one to enjoy it with her. He had wanted to hold onto that feeling forever.

You don't have to say you love me

I just wanna tell you something

Lately you've been on my mind

He stops playing again and this time does drop the guitar, the sound of it hitting the floor muffled by the ache that screams throughout his body.

"Oh god." He whines. "No. Fuck!"

He drops to his knees, landing on the floor next to his guitar on one side and the box on the other. He had written the song after that trip. He knew he was utterly in love with her and had to get it out on paper for her to have forever.

"No, please, no." He mumbles again, turning to the box and furiously pushing notebooks aside, looking for what he was actually hoping wasn't there. This is the one time he didn't want a memory to come back, or to be true. Because if it's true, it'll be torture, and will continue to torture him for the rest of his life. If it's true, it means he really has lost everything.

"No!" He shouts, finding what he was looking for, but what he was also hoping wasn't there.

He picks up the leather sunglass case, opening an unraveling the cotton padding, and tears start streaming down his face.

"No." He sobs quietly, bending over at his waist and holding the case to his chest.

His door bursts open and he looks over to barely make out the figure of his mum standing in the doorway.

"Oh my god, Harry!" She exclaims, rushing to his side and dropping to her knees as she flings her arms around him, not yet knowing why he needs the comfort. "What's wrong?"

He pulls himself back enough to remove the padding from the case and unwrap it in his palm. He closes his eyes, the tears burning as they run down his cheeks, and feels Anne reposition herself to hold him as tight as she can.

"Oh, sweetheart." She simply states. "You didn't tell me."

"I… didn't… tell anyone…" He cries out, his heart now completely broken due to what he has lost. "No one knew I was going to propose."

~~~~~

Series Masterlist

~~~~~

If you like what I post, and want to just send some extra support, I have a ko-fi account. Even the smallest amount is greatly appreciated. There is no obligation or expectation to donate, because I am honestly just so grateful that you're here! 💗 Bee xx

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[kalopses-sonderes]

Wanted pt.3

‼️Discontinued A Pure Vanilla Vs Millennial Tree x Baker! Reader

a/n: This is my 500th post💃🏽

previous part

…

“Um, Millennial tree.. theres someone behind you..” You and the yellow haired cookie behind Millennial tree made eye contact

“Pure Vanilla, seems you found-” Millennial Tree turned around and saw Wind Archer tied up, passed out, and being held by the arm by Pure Vanilla. “..Why do you have Wind Archer, and would you mind getting your staff out of my face.” Pure vanilla holds his staff back to his side.

Pure vanilla drops Wind Archer. “Baker, im very sorry about the posters. They werent made by any of the cookies in the kingdom you so graciously made. We have been framed to make you think we’re the bad guys, but we arent!” Pure vanilla pays no mind to Millennial Tree. “I can keep you safe, like I did once before!” He started to sound more desperate with every word.

“All empty promises and words that hold no meaning, Disgusting.” Millennial Tree spat.

“I do believe you have no say in promises with the many promises you made just for them to be broken..” Pure Vanilla said with a face that sent shivers down your spine.

“I had my reasons and you know that!” Millennial Tree yelled.

You didnt know what to say. Somehow Pure vanilla, as they call him, protected you before. Theres tension between Millennial Tree and him. Wind Archer is passed out and tied up. You just want to disappear and not be involved in this mess.

“I’ll kill you before you can be in arms reach of baker.” Millennial Trees words snapped you out of your thoughts.

“Before you do, all that, explain whats going on.” You crossed your arms.

“Its a long story baker, please leave the situation to us-” Millennial Tree started.

“No! I have been dragged around, not knowing whats going on! I deserve explanation!” You interrupted.

They’ve never seen so upset, especially at them. Before, you were the nicest person in the world. You would never yell at anyone or anything, you were very calm and collected, well that was before the incident. The never saw you again, until a few days ago when you arrived back down to earthbread. You changed.

“Alright, you might wanna sit for this.” Millennial Tree said.

…

~A few years ago~

(Millennial Trees Pov)

.

I was in love with baker, and a few cookies said I was calculated and had a way with words like no other cookie around and thats why Baker loved me too. But my best friend also loved Baker, he didnt know I also loved them. Im not sure what to do. I made a promise to him, if i were to ever gain feelings for baker I would let him confess first.

“Are you alright? You’ve been more quiet then normal.” My best friend, Pure Vanilla said.

“Mm, Im fine, just tired.” I just can’t tell him about this situation. It will be a conflict, but it can be postponed to a later time.

“Oh! Well, it is rather later, how about you stay here tonight, id hate for you to walk this late.” He said with a smile.

.

Im laying in the bedroom next to my Bestfriend. Im not sure what im feeling. Maybe its envy? Pure Vanilla has so many accomplishments and is very popular, what if Baker doesnt like me, but instead him? Id be happy for him on the outside, but the inside. I’d be but a wilting flower in a cage that was stripped of its dreams to be in the golden sunlight.

“Oh Baker, how do you do it? You have two people madly in love with you, but give neither of us more attention or affection than the other. Maybe you know what you’re doing and just making a game of us to make us work for your love. Oh but I’ll love you no matter how many games you make of me.” I whisper while dozing off to sleep.

.

Im walking down the grand stairs to the dining room, Pure Vanilla woke me up and told me to get ready because theres a guest coming for breakfast, and a special surprise.

The way to the dining is long, but I’ll take the shortcut. I walk behind the grandstairs, by the garden, I was gonna walk past it, but I saw Baker standing alone in the Garden. I open the glass door, I feel the cool breeze that greeted me the second I stepped out the door.

“Baker, might I ask why your standing here alone?” I say as I walk up to them.

They turn around to look at me, then smile. “Just enjoying the scenery, care to join me.” They put their hand out for me to hold.

I hold their hand and offer a small smile.

.

We’ve been hold hand, walking around the garden, and just enjoying each others company for who knows how long. The thought of going back inside to eat with Pure Vanilla left our minds long before.

“Hey um, can I ask you something?” Baker said to me as she stopped in the direct center of the garden, the best spot.

“Anything.” I say as I put my hand on their cheek.

“I.. Millennial Tree I love you..” Baker could barely look me in the eyes as they said that.

Before I could respond our moment was cut off by Pure Vanilla.

“How could you Millennial Tree! You left me alone to go be alone with Baker, the person I loved and you knew that!”

I looked more guilty than I have before. He never calls me by my full name, usually just ‘Tree’.

“Im sorry Pure Vanilla, I dont love you.” Baker said while looking off in the distance.

“I-” Pure Vanilla started to choke on his words. “Please.. You have too, all the special moments we had..” He was on the verge of tears.

“Im sorry, I only saw you as a friend. Sometimes like an older brother.” Baker seemed more shy.

Pure Vanilla went in side without saying another word.

“Pure Vanilla wait!” I ran after him, leaving baker to be alone in the garden once more.

He Went into his room and locked the door, im to late so im locked out.

“Pure Vanilla please let me in!”

“You knew i loved them Millennial Tree.”

“Im sorry..”

“What about our promise Millennial Tree.”

“I loved them even before we made the promise.”

There was shuffling in his room, then it stopped, them he opened the door and walked right past me with something in his hand.

“Pure Vanilla whats in your hand?!” I try to reach for it and then he pushes me back to the ground.

Pure vanilla sped walked to the garden as I struggled to keep up. When I made it to the garden Pure vanilla was talking to Baker, he then focused his gaze on me, then gave me that one smile that i will forever hate. He grabbed baker then clicked the button on the thing he was holding. Then they disappeared in the blink of an eye.

…

(Back to 3rd person pov)

…

When Millennial Tree finished talking, you stayed silent for a bit. “Well, what happened to ’me’ next? Before, Pure Vanilla said ‘he was trying to protect me’”

“Pure Vanilla do you mind explaining?” Millennial Tree smiled at Pure Vanilla.

Pure Vanilla scoffed then walked away.

“Wait! I need to kno-” He tried to run after him but Millennial Tree grabbed you.

“He stored you in the basement under the castle, you had no contact with anyone besides him. and of course, you lost your mind. But thats a story for another time dear.”

Pure Vanilla came to come get me but left without putting up a real fight, somethings off. You thought.

“I can tell what your thinking, it was a promise thats why. Now get some sleep We’ll be leaving at dawn.” Millennial Tree says as he grabs Wind archer and leaves the room.

…

To be continued..

[ayayabaroque]

A Thousand Glaze Lilies for My Lady (1)

**LOTS OF DISCLAIMERS HIII** *English is not my first language. *This is a post of hc Zhongli, Guizhong, and other characters mentioned. Not lore accurate. *There will NOT be a part 2, 3 and possibly a part 4, i dont even wanna write this anymore. *Also uploaded to my Wattpad, kamisatoyoimiya. *First tumblr post, I don’t expect it to be that good. *A mix of past and present, past events are in italics, present events are non italics. Thank you for reading the disclaimers. TW(?): Mentions of death, harm and I think that’s it.  !! DISCONTINUED, BUT MIGHT REWRITE/CONTINUE IN THE FUTURE !!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Retelling stories, personal and factual recounts aren’t quite the easiest thing for people to do. And for Rex Lapis, it could be the only thing he could ever wish to avoid on doing. “—'S MINE!” “I HAD IT FIRST!” Children. Fighting over the simplest of things, quarrels about nothings written in water. Ganyu and Xiao are both adepti. Raised to defend mortals from the petrifying horrors of Liyue. Ganyu was truly a mortal, in both manner and mind. Xiao was a demon, devourer of nightmares and dreams alike. Under the guide of Rex Lapis, both have seemed to have taken the adepti responsibility too seriously. But that isn’t to say adepti can’t act like children at times. Normally, Rex Lapis would not heed in such conversation, but the noise seemed to bring back horrible memories than to irritate a person. You might say that the average person would be driven mad if this went on for hours, but it’s as if Rex Lapis had other reasons for his frustration. “Now, now children, what ever nonsense are you on about?” “Mr. Zhongli, Xiao and I were just about to—” “I quite frankly do not care. I wish for peace of mind and a calm atmosphere. If you two cannot provide such terms, then I shall calmly ask you to leave.” “Mr. Zhongl-“ “Will you, or will you not comply?” ..Yes sir. ↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝ “Pardon me, but I’ve never caught your name and I was wonde—” “Rex Lapis. God of Contracts. Have I answered well?” “Well, um.. See, I don’t think people would believe a man dressed in fine clothing to walk about Liyu—” “Do I seem like a commoner to you, mortal? How lowly you think of me.” “Well, yes My Lord, but nobody would believe an attitude as overwhelming as that.” “Are you implying something, commoner?” “Of course not, My Lord.” ↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝ “Pardon me for asking, but how do you tell stories as if they were your life’s work, Zhongli?” Hu Tao would know better than to question the reasons of her consultant, but her question lingered on her mind ever since. He has many excuses and reasons to cover up his truth, but something about this one child stood out to him. Curiosity was one of the director’s more irritable traits, but something about her made Zhongli feel uneasy. Perhaps a certain someone carried the same curiosity from when he stood as an archon in the past. Perhaps, it could be a lover. Might it be a significant other? Or maybe, someone he sworn he couldn’t lose for the rest of his life, was now taunting him for eternity. “I have a.. Unique interest in bringing stories to life. The more real they sound the more people are curious to see how it ends.” “Have you ever heard of ‘A Thousand Glaze Lilies for My Lady’?” ‘Yes,’ He’d wanted to respond. ‘I was the idiot that wrote that novel. Out of love and grief for my.. late friend.’ “No. I’d like to hear about it once I get the chance.” Lies. Blatant lies. He wanted to tell her, centuries worth of grievance, a look behind the curtain, and the façade he was maintaining. Everything. Everything about her. He wanted to let her know, one last time, to hold her in his embrace. To feel her warmth again, to see her smile again. Alas, he lies for a reason, a reason why nobody can trust him again. “Sun’s down. I’ll head off for Wangshuu Inn, I heard they’re holding a celebration to honor the next village’s deity, do you have any plans to come with?” “Liyue has many a plenty of gods and goddesses, deitys and legends alike. Which one are you referring to?” “The Dust God, Lady Guizhong. Heard of her?” “I regrettably have not, my sincerest apologies.” “Oh well then. Rest up, tomorrow is another day of hard work.” ↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝ “A smile? Really? How is it possible to even comprehend such complicated matters of creating such madness?” “You make it sound like I made you eat a Glaze Lily. It’s simple, just think about whatever makes you happy, and smile!” “Does war fall under the concept of so-called happiness?” “Unfortunately not, My Lord.” ↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝ Truth be told, he’d like to pay a visit to the inn, checking up with the adeptus that has chosen to reside in that old structure, but it seems as if he can’t bring himself to do so. Has she influenced you so much that you can’t attend a celebration for her passing? A voice mused. He’d always been fond of her, Lady Guizhong. He cared for her deeply. Yet why can’t he bring himself to remember; what she’d look like, what she’d sound like, what she’d done for Liyue. and it seemed to pain him, remembering his friend’s demise. ↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝ “I’ve never seemed to catch your name, commoner, do you have an alias of some sort?” “I... haven’t told you yet have I, My Lord?” “Say so, commoner, I don’t have all day.” Guizhong smiled fondly at him, knowing well that she would pass on and be forgotten, as most minor gods do. “I have a.. prophecy. I was destined to help someone and move on to the afterlife. Say, do you believe in reincarnation, My Lord?” “Reincarnation, you say. I do not, or I am against it. You have lived before, and died a miserable death, why should you go through all of that again? I for one, wouldn’t wish to reincarnate, if gods ever die.” Guizhong loved this side of him, brutally honest, but honest, nonetheless. She always admired him for a reason, could it be the sole reason for her existence? If she were to die for someone, would she be willing to do it, out of love for him? Perhaps… perhaps. ↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝ Rex Lapis never abided by commoners or citizens of Liyue for that matter, every time an offering is made, he simply ignores it. Yet what made this one stand out to him? What made her so... special? “I’ve always wondered what snow looked like.” That statement seemed to shock Guizhong, how could the archon of Liyue ask such little nonsense? “Have you not experienced snowfall, My Lord?” “Regrettably so.” “Shall I take you to Qingyun Peak to watch the snow in the winter, My Lord?” Qingyun seemed like the most reasonable place to go, high up in the mountains, beautiful view, perfect for watching snow fall out of the sky and glaze the grass around them. “If it is you, I shall go anywhere to meet your request.” “..How charming.” Guizhong seemed to fall farther in love than any lady Rex Lapis has ever met. Still, he would do anything and everything, to keep her by his side. ↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝ “I’ve yet to ask you, you mentioned a prophecy you must fulfill, and I’ve yet to hear. Would you as so kindly tell me about it, commoner?” “I would refrain from mentioning the prophecy My Lord. It has yet to reveal itself, and I too yearn to tell you, but it may be as perplexing as how a commoner meets one’s golden eye.” “Are you insulting me for choosing a commoner as a companion?” Guizhong sighed. The Geo archon is not easily pleased nor understanding, it was a hard time explaining when she could only reveal the prophecy through words she could not comprehend. Simple village girls like her don’t receive an education, most rely on the conversation around them. They only serve to exist as a housewife and bear children for their husband’s name. Guizhong was against that, she wanted a life of her own, and being the adviser and somehow, the friend of Liyue’s God seemed to work in her favor. She wished she understood what the prophecy meant, she longed to tell her God what she heard. Alas, kept her mouth shut, in the event of the prophecy turning on her. “I wouldn’t wish to defy you, much as you may think, Rex Lapis.” “…My name. This has been the first of many chances you could have mentioned my name. Why now?” “My apologies My Lord, I… do not know how or when I am allowed to speak your name. I have considered my mistake, and I- ↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝ -Wish to speak with your consultant.” Hu Tao frowned. It was not the first time Lady Ningguang paid the funeral parlor’s consultant a visit, yet it seems as if she was in a hurry, so as not to make her worry, she showed her the door to his office and let them discuss their private matters with each other. “Liyue is upside down! Everything went wrong since the beginning of your retirement!” Retirement? How could he do so when he is in perfect condition? “Guizh- “ “Don’t you dare speak her name! I’ve enough of her, and the Exuvia perishing at the Rite of Descension?! You knew how her prophecy ends, yet you try to alter fate and bring her back!” ..So she knew. Not only did she hide it well, but she also had her suspicions on the consultant. Hu Tao knew eavesdropping on their conversation seemed wrong, but what could she lose when Liyue looked in terrible shape than before? But the name Lady Ningguang seemed so mad about, it couldn’t have been Lady Guizhong, God of Dust, founder of Guili Plains? It seems as if the more the young director thinks about it, the more it started to click and make sense. But how is it possible for a young man to witness Lady Guizhong centuries ago? Then again, it was said Rex Lapis took on countless forms, Zhongli could be one of them. Zhongli… who are you, really?... ↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝↝ “I have not been truthful to you about something, My Lord.” “And what would that be, my dear?” Guizhong was taken aback by the name he had called her, more so used to being called “commoner”, not even her real name. Had she succeeded in completing the first half of the prophecy? “I would like to… express to you how much you’ve changed in the span of months, My Lord and- “ “Rex Lapis, my dear. A title is worthless when even someone you love calls you, I think we’ve moved past that my dearest.” “Ah um… yes. About that, you aren’t about to scold me for the improper wording?” Rex Lapis smiled at her conscience he’d taught her, unaware of his impact on her. “I’ve considered that I shouldn’t be too harsh on you, otherwise I’d push you away.” “That’s the first time you’ve ever smiled, is it?” “Maybe it’s because of the commoner I once took as a friend, now look where she is.” “Beside a god with a tendency to look like a love-sick puppy whenever he looks at said commoner?” “Don’t push it.” Mortals are mortal, Gods are immoral, reincarnate one as brand new, ‘Lady Guizhong’ they will call you, lover, a friend, even more if you wish, Liyue sees you as Rex Lapis’ dying wish. A briny of lilies you shall stand, holding the archon in your hand, one last time before you’re gone, weeps and cries the last you shall hear, Liyue’s downfall will soon be here. Rex Lapis is torn, confused and in doubt, one final blow makes to be Liyue’s demise, a friend of Rex Lapis, a savior in mind. Created the Chasm with rage and fury, a battle for Liyue said to be legendary, when all fails and sought to be done, A rebuilt Liyue rises with the sun. “I fear for the future of Liyue, promise me after my passing, you'll find another source of happiness in life?" For the first time, Rex Lapis was dumbfounded and tongue-tied. He loved her so, much to no one's surprise, but would he really be able to bring Liyue's downfall and rebuild it with his own hands? "...I will try, for you." yay, first post sakses

[all1e23]

Between the Stars [Pt. 1]

Pairings: Past!Steve x Reader, Bucky x  Reader

Summary:  Struggling with the death of your husband, you find comfort in someone unexpected.

Series warnings: CHARACTER DEATH. Grief. Overall sadness. Depression. It’s pretty angsty if I’m being honest. Things mellow out as the series goes on. TW: Military/Spouse death 

A/N:  It’s a military AU with the loss of a spouse. This was the only WIP of mine I was really upset to discontinue. Which is why it’s the only one I left up. After some love from my @moonbeambucky​,​ I’m posting the first chapter and we will see how it goes. No, I do not have a posting schedule nor do I know when the next part will be up. No Bucky yet but the next chapter is nothing but Bucky.  It’s still very heavy in the angst but hang tight. It gets better once Bucky comes home. If you like it write a book report, sing me a song or come scream at me.

***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Reblogs are my jam, though! Thanks!****

“Sweetheart,” Steve’s breath warmed your skin, making you shiver. “It’s time to wake up, my sweetheart.” 

You pulled the cover over your head, hiding the grin on your face and blocking out the sun along with your husband. Steve’s chuckle made your smile widen enough to make your cheeks hurt. There was a gentle tug to the blanket, and you knew Steve was attempting to tenderly coax you out of bed. You slowly lowered the quilt down to your nose, only letting your eyes peek out, and you find your husband’s gorgeous smile beaming down at you, making your heart flutters from the sight. 

“It’s Saturday, Steven.” 

“Steven?” Steve chuckled and tried to pull the covers off your face yet again. “I’m in that much trouble?” 

You narrowed your eyes and tightened your grip on your blanket. 

“Yes, Steven, you are.” 

Steve settled himself on top of you, leaving the blanket wedged between you, but he pulled it down far enough to see your whole face. He placed a kiss to the tip of your crinkled up nose and smiled at the exaggerated pout you put on. 

“We have brunch with everyone, or did you forget that it was your idea?” 

“I did forget,” You whined quietly. “You know better than to let me plan things when I’m excited, and I’ve had more than two glasses of wine.” 

He only grinned wider at that. Didn’t say a word, and you started to fidget from your own self-consciousness. You hated and loved it when he looked at you like that. It made you fear the day he would stop. Eight years in, and it was still there despite fights over how to load the dishwasher, silly tiffs about money and arguments over what way the toilet paper goes on the holder. 

“What are you going to do when our kids come running in here to wake you up? Are you going to send our sweet babies away?” 

He just had to go there. Steve just had to go and mention sweet moments of babies and cuddles -- Your weakness.  

You relented and finally wrapped your arms around his neck, dipping your fingers into his longer than usual hair. He would have to cut it soon.  Couldn’t be a soldier and have hair long enough to tuck behind his ears. You liked when he let it get long, though. It made him your Steve again. Which sounded ridiculous. He didn’t have long hair and beard when you met, or the night he kissed you for the first time, but it didn’t matter how silly it was. This version was your Steve, and the short-haired, clean-shaven one belonged to the Army. 

“Well, if they are running up here to wake me up because their daddy made me breakfast, I could be convinced to get out bed for some kisses and cuddles.” 

Steve’s sweet laugh made your skin prickle. You wondered if he would let you record it before he left this time or if that was going too far. Probably not. Steve would do just about anything you asked of him, so you couldn’t imagine he would ever tell you no for something that would put your heart at ease while he was gone. 

“Maybe we skip brunch and get started on those babies, hm?” 

You grinned. 

Steve always knew exactly what to say.

“God, I love you, Rogers.” 

Steve’s right hand slipped under the sheet and under the white cotton shirt of his that you were currently using as a pajama, his fingers dug into your ribs making you squirm, and he dipped his head down, barely brushing over your parted lips, he whispered, “And, I love you, baby.” 

Your eyes opened, and you weren’t met with the sight of your husband. It was the same ugly white ceiling you’ve stared at for the past month, the past thirteen months, really.  It’s been a month since everything was finalized. By someone’s good fortune that was not your own, Steve had insisted you buy your house off base so at least you could keep the home you built together. It hadn’t made this last month any easier. Thirty-six days since you got the news and thirty days since you laid Steve to rest. You were supposed to be improving, or so the books and all your friends and family said. You didn’t know how anyone expected you to get better. You could barely put one foot in front of the other, let alone think about moving on with what little bit of a life you had left. 

The sun was hitting the full-length mirror hanging on the far wall at the perfect angle, and you knew it was nearly seven, judging by the position of the glare coming off the glass. You could spend the rest of the day in bed, and you would have every right to. No one would let you get away with wallowing today you had a feeling. Besides, you had to stop by Sarah’s and make sure she was okay. It has been far too long since you checked in on her, and that wasn’t fair to her. She was grieving just as much as you were. So, you forced yourself out of bed, stood on shaky legs, and made the short, dreadfully long walk to your closet.

The red flannel you pulled out of black felt-lined hanger still smelled like Steve. All of his things did, and his scent hung heavy in your room. You pulled it on over your tank top and brought the collar up to your nose, taking in a deep breath. That earthy citrus smell still made your knees a little weak. Eventually, you were going to have to wash his things. You glanced at your bed, the pile of crumpled sheets you would typically insist on making before your day started. What was the point in making them now? No one would see them but you. No one would know if you made your bed or left it a wreck for days on end. 

You should wash them, a voice in your head nagged. 

No, you shouldn’t. 

His pillow is still his pillow, so long as you don’t wash it. Maybe next month. You haven’t been sleeping much as it is, and when you do, you usually fall asleep on the couch so the sheets could stand to go a while longer.

The house was eerily quiet in the mornings. Steve was always the first one up and the last one down. The quiet made those times harder. It was the heavy reminder he was gone, and the weight of that on your chest left you unable to rest. Landing at the bottom of the stairs, you found Sam still fast asleep on the couch with no signs of waking any time soon. He had shown up last night claiming he needed to see you, but you knew Sam was there to check up on you. It had nothing to do with his own grief. Sam became your shadow the moment the funeral ended, and part of you wished he would just go away. 

You wanted everyone to go away and let you grieve in the only way you knew how. 

The coffee pot was empty, and it glared at you the moment you entered the kitchen. As it has been for the last year. Another reminder that Steve was gone and never coming back. When he was home, Steve would set the timer before his run, so by the time you woke up and made your way downstairs, there was always a fresh pot waiting for you. You’ve been making your own coffee since he deployed, and not one morning had it come out right. 

You should have known then something was wrong. 

A large, calloused hand slipped around your waist from behind, and gentle kisses landed on your neck. He shouldn’t be here, and yet, he was. He was late for PT and was surely going to get yelled at the second he arrived. Steve didn’t seem bothered by the thought, or maybe kissing you was really worth it like he claimed.

“I believe you're wearing my favorite shirt,” Steve’s voice rumbled against your skin, and you tried to suppress the shudder it sent through you. 

“What’s yours is mine, Husband.” 

Steve chuckled. 

“How many cups of coffee does that make for you, Wife?” 

“Two,” You said with shaky confidence and a scrunched nose that said you weren’t being entirely truthful.

Steve nuzzled his nose along your jaw, and he roughly whispered in your ear, “Liar. Wanna try that again?” 

“Fine,” you conceded with an eye roll. “This is cup three, but I’m not having any more for the day because you’re here stealing the rest.” Steve smiled fondly and took his travel mug from its spot next to yours. 

“No more until you have some water. You’re going to give yourself a heart attack.” Steve cupped your jaw with his free hand and tilted your head back to rest on his shoulder. He pressed a tender kiss to your lips and one to your nose. 

“I’ll see you tonight beautiful.” 

“Y/n… Hey…”

“Do you promise?” 

“I promise, baby. When do I ever break my promises to you?” 

“Hey, Y/n.” Sam tried again, more forceful his time. “Are you okay?”

You blinked, finding Sam standing in front of you with a look of concern drawing his brows together. You looked down at the counter where two cups were resting, full of black steaming coffee. You had only meant to pour one cup. Or had you? Sam realized the mistake before you did. The cup was for Steve. He quickly leaned forward and slid the mug towards him. 

"Mind if I get a cup? Didn't sleep great last night." 

A breath of relief.

You nodded and slipped the carafe back where it rested, avoiding Sam’s watchful eyes. 

"...How are you sleeping?" 

"Fine." 

Sam raised a brow. 

"Decent." You reluctantly confessed. "Enough that I can make it through the day."

"And what are you doing... to make it through the day? Have you tried to play?" 

Your eyes shifted to the piano that sat in the den, and you quickly looked away. There was no point in beating around the bush with that one. Someone was coming to look at it at the end of the week, and you were hopeful by the weekend to have it sold. There were some things that you wouldn’t be able to pick back up again, and falling in love and playing the piano was on the top of the list.  There was no reason to pretend. 

"No. I don't--" You shook your head. "It's as if my fingers can't remember the keys. I don't know. Nothing feels right anymore." 

That was normal. Everything you were feeling was perfectly normal, and Sam wanted to tell you that. You knew he did, but he didn’t, and you let out a breath you hadn’t known you were holding. This was hard enough without feeling like your closest friend was counseling you. 

“It’s not fair.” 

“No, it’s not--” 

“I haven’t washed his pillowcase yet.” You blurted without thinking. “I, uh, I’m scared if I do it will lose his scent, and it won’t be his anymore. Which is stupid. He hasn’t slept on it in over a year. I could easily spray more cologne on the cover like I have been since he left, and it would be the same. It feels different now. Final. Am I going crazy? Because it feels like I am losing it, Sam.” 

“That’s all normal. You’re grieving. It’s normal to not be rational--”

No. That was not what you wanted. 

“I don’t want therapy Sam right now,” You snapped. “I want Sam. My Sam.” 

Sam leaned back against the backing of the barstool and stared at you. Your gaze didn’t waver. You picked at your nails, and your bottom lip was trembling, but you held your gaze steady. Sam knew when to push and when not to. Right now, you were right. You didn’t need him to baby you, to walk on eggshells, and repeat well-rehearsed phrases meant to aid in your recovery like everyone else was doing. You just needed him to listen and tell you your life wasn’t over.” 

“Okay.” 

Sam reached across the counter and cupped a large hand over yours. There weren’t many people you would let see like this, or at all. Since the funeral, you haven’t been getting out much. You were sure Wanda called Sam and tattled on you after your meltdown in the market yesterday. It wasn’t a big deal. Yes, you cried over an apple pie. It was not the first time someone has gotten upset over baked goods. It happened every day, you were sure of that, and no one made a fuss until it happened to a widow. 

Widow. You really hated that word. It was a stupid word, and you refused to use it. However, the incident in the market didn’t help the way people were looking at you, widow, or not. You had thought things would be slightly easier once you talked to Bucky. He’s always had a way of calming you and putting your restless soul at ease. You waited on a call from Bucky, but none came. He hasn’t even sent a letter. That might have been part of the reason for pie-gate 2020. 

At first, you were angry. He was ignoring you? After everything? You lost your husband, the man’s best friend, and Bucky couldn’t be bothered to pick up the damn phone and make sure you were okay? But you realized he was grieving, too. It was different from yours, but it didn’t make it any less real, and he had a right to do it in his own way. Besides, Bucky probably didn’t know what to say. You wouldn’t if it was you because there was nothing anyone could say or do to make this okay. That was when your anger turned to tears, and that moment just happened to be in the bakery, in front of twenty or so people. 

It wasn’t like there was some guidebook on how you should grieve and move on with your life. You wished there was, but there wasn’t a ‘right way’ to navigate this. You had to take one day at a time and handle each moment as it came along. 

“I’ve loved him for most of my life am I supposed to just stop now?”

“No one expects you to stop loving Steve.”  

“It feels that way sometimes,” You mumbled weakly. 

Sam gave your hand a gentle squeeze, but he didn’t say anything else. You needed to sort through what you were feeling on your own, so he was letting you decide what you needed; from him and yourself.  When you finally looked back up, he could tell by the murky waters in your eyes, you were still just as lost as the day Steve left you. Only now, there were expectations for improvement and time limits on how long you were allowed to stay floating in the dark. Even though it had only been thirty-six days, eight hours, and forty-three minutes, everyone was tired. Your friends and family wanted to move on. After all, they didn’t lose their other half. They were tired of being sad, and you were tired of pretending it was okay. 

“How am I supposed to move on without him, and what? Just start over?”

Sam gave you a small smile and tightened his grip on your hand. “I don’t know, but we are all here to help you figure it out.” 

“Not everyone is here,” you grumbled petulantly. 

Bucky didn’t have a choice, but he did. He could have been the one to come home, and while you were not upset with him for sending Sam in his stay, it still hurt. The three of you had been close, and once upon a time, you were closer to Bucky than you were Steve. He was the first person to talk to you when you moved to town, and if it wasn't for Bucky, you never would have met Steve. 

“He will be home at the end of the month and from what he said last night. I think he’s hoping it would be okay for him to stay here.” 

On the one hand, you were relieved to know Bucky was coming home. You needed to see him, to hear his voice tell you that Steve would want you to move on and be happy. On the other, Bucky hadn’t called you. He called Sam instead. That stung. 

“Why?” You slowly pulled your hand back and crossed your arms over your chest, shielding yourself from Bucky’s reasoning and maybe a little bit from Sam, too. “Why does he want to stay here?”

“Well, he didn’t re-enlist, so I think he’s trying to figure out what his next step is and what he’s going to do with the rest of his life and… I think he wants to be close to Steve and maybe to keep an eye on you. You could help each other, you know?”

“Right,” you snorted. 

As if anyone could help you, let alone the friend that left you in the lurch when you needed him most. You didn’t know what Sam was putting in his morning coffee, but Bucky didn’t want to help you do anything. He has made that very clear from the moment Steve died.  

“I doubt he wants to be here with me, and what exactly are we going to help each other do?” 

Sam sighed and shook his head, “Grieve, Y/n. Grieve and move forward.” 

That would be easier said than done.

Previous // Next 

[cacti-are-like-flamingos]

my boys. (Discontinued)

Chapter 2

(A/N): Guess what? :)

_______________________________________

“Give to the world, and the world will give back.”

Who the fuck said that? Obviously, they were lying. They just had to be.

You’ve given so much to the world and yet, it still wanted to fuck you over just because.

You glared at the door in front of you. Annabelle had purposely made you face it just so she could mock you, that, you were sure of. Your only means of escape, right in front of you, yet, you could do nothing but struggle against the ropes wrapped around your wrist. The golden strings digging into the skin of them, you had long felt wetness dripped down your hands.

Must’ve already cut through the skin, you figured.

Sighing, you let your head drop, locks of your hair falling along. Your (e/c) orbs staring blankly down to the fabric of your pants, that woman’s words running through your head. 

“My turn, now tell me. How does a good, law-abiding civilian like yourself gets mixed up with three cold-blooded murderers?”

Duncan and Frank didn’t come off as murderers---I mean, yeah, they were big and intimidating but….you bit the inside of your cheek, anxiety slowly arising inside you. They seriously didn’t seem like murderers, especially when you first met them.

______________________________________________________________

"Damn. You looked like you've been through hell." Your voice echoed gently against the cream walls of the empty hallway, startling the man laying on the floor with his back against the wall, who was breathing laboriously. You noted the way he jumped at your intrusion of the previous blanket of silence, hands instantly reaching into the inside of the little tattered jacket. You raised your arms above your head, eyes slightly wide, “I come in peace, I come in peace.” You repeated, taking a step back to your apartment door. 

Frank eyed you, trying to determine if you were a hostile or just some innocent bystander. Yet, judging by your pajamas and your disheveled hair, he came to the conclusion that you lived in the apartment complex and had come out to investigate what all the ruckus outside was all about. He grunted, still clutching to the wound on his abdomen. 

Gulping nervously, you approached him with slow steps, coming to crouch right beside him. He watched you with a wary eye, not fully trusting you. “You’re hurt. I don’t know much about medical stuff, but I got a first aid kit inside. Think you can do it yourself?” He stared at you, expression portraying confusion. Yet, all you did was smile at him.

He didn’t know what to think, but he felt as though you really meant no harm.

Staring at you for a few seconds more, he nodded. Watching as the concerned look on your face slowly morph into one of relief. Giving him a small smile, you straightened yourself up. 

“Here, let me help you up.” You said, stretching out your hand out to him. Frank arched a questioning brow, somewhat amused at the fact that you were seriously going to try and pull him up despite his much, much larger frame. Yet, complied nonetheless. You felt the callouses on his palm as it engulfed your own, the question of what kind of labor work did he do, came to mind, lasting only a second as you pulled him up. Some struggle, that you had to admit. Soon enough, the handsome stranger was on his feet, spine going back into a hunched over position.

Oh yeah. He’s hurt.

You watched him for a moment, making sure that he wouldn’t fall backward or something. Seeing that he was fine enough to stand on his own, you shuffled over to your apartment entrance, the door already wide open due to the wind had pressed against the varnished wood. 

You were seriously confused as to how to act around a heavily injured person like him. After all, you don’t really come across beaten-close-to-death strangers everyday. Especially hot ones. Like seriously, even under all those bruises and cuts, you could still recognize that beautiful ruggedness. Chuckling under your breath, you noticed a little too late that the man, whose name you had yet to know, had already seated himself in your living room and was waiting for you to snap out of your little daydream so he could go on to treating himself. Jumping into action, you hurried over to the bathroom, finding the first aid kit in the forgotten cabinet. Luckily, you had replenished the supplies in the containers yesterday. Walking back to the man, you found him almost melting into the cushions of your couch, he seemed to be asleep, a peaceful look on his features. You almost felt bad for waking him.

“Got the kit. Here.” Awakening, he looked down at your hands, spotting the familiar red cross on the box. Nodding in thanks, he went to grab it with his free hand, a loud groan screeching out. You reacted by bending down to his height, concern once more evident,” Are you okay?” As stupid as the question was, it was an automatic response.

He grimaced, “ Must’ve torn a muscle or somethin’...ugh...” Now that was odd. He wasn’t complaining just a few minutes ago...

Ignoring the sudden new symptom, you replied,” Is there anything else I can do?” He nodded, “Mind stitching me up?” 

Frank would never admit it, never out loud, I mean. No, he hadn’t torn a muscle, which, to be honest, wouldn’t be at all that surprising. With all the figh---off-topic. The muscle tear thing was a blatant lie, a blatant lie that, thankfully, you gave no mind to it. Why lie? Even he didn’t know why. But it had something to do with him wanting to be cared for. 

“I mean...sure. But it’s gonna be amateur.” Frank softly snorted, a smirk tugging on the corners of his split lips. “It’s alright.” Nodding you went to set up everything you needed on the cushion beside him.

“So, what’s your name?” “Frank. You?” “(Y/n). Nice to, uh, meet you, Frank.” A smile creeping on your own lips. 

Shifting closer to Frank, you stated, “Imma need you to take off your shirt...?” A blush coming to your cheeks. Your flustered state only adding more into his ever-increasing amusement, his smirk widening exponentially.

“At least buy me dinner first.” He taunted causing you to roll your eyes, a charming smile falling onto the plumpness of your lips. 

“Fuck off.” Frank chuckled.

Shifting closer to him, you stood between his legs, aiding him in taking off his coat. Sliding off the sleeves of it, you threw it over to the floor, saying a small apology after realizing what you’d just done. Only to have him dismiss it with the wave of his hand. The stench of blood and sweat overwhelmed your nose, yet you paid it no mind. Not wanting to seem more disrespectful. 

Your flustered state worsened as your fingers inched closer to the hem of his black shirt, your breath silently catching itself in your throat when you pulled the extremely thin fabric over his head. Exposing his sculpted abdomen, glistening in sweat. Your feelings quickly conforming to concern when the sight of his wound came into your field of vision. Swiftly, you pulled the shirt off of him, also throwing it to the floor. Taking a quick look at the gash on his abdomen, you determined it would need just a few stitches, perhaps 10?

Grabbing the things you needed to repair the wound, you placed them all next to his shoes on the floor as you kneeled down to the height of his injury. Pouring disinfectant on the cotton gauze, you shuffled closer to Frank, kneeling right between your legs, his thighs being used as your own personal armrest. Adjusting yourself, you quickly went to work. 

You ignored the sounds of him groaning an moaning in pain every time you dipped the gauze into the gash, watching with some sort of marvel as the disinfectant bubbled around the swollen area. Finishing with the cleaning, you readied the needle and thread. Dipping the two of them in a small bowl you had filled with hydrogen peroxide, you threaded the thread through the needles hole, glancing up to Frank you muttered, “Gonna hurt like hell.” 

“Ain’t got no alcohol in the fridge?” He asked thorguh his teeth, a hopeful look in his eyes. You smacked your lips,” Just drank the last of it yesterday.” Frank groaned in annoyance. Chuckling at his reaction, you shook your head, a smile on your face. 

Your smile, your kindness, your fearlessness---al took him by surprise. There was no doubt in his mind that you were a good person, one with what he already knew, bore a heart of gold. And yet, he still had not the slightest clue as to why you hadn’t called the police on him. Had you not noticed the iconic white skull on his shirt? Had you not realized just who exactly he was? Hell, did you even know who the Punisher was? I mean, he wouldn’t doubt it. You didn’t look like someone who was raised in the city, much less lived through these streets. You must be new in town.

“You’re not from around here, are you?” That caught your attention. instantly breaking you from your focus, your smile faltering in the slightest. 

“Got that right.” He found it strange how easily you accepted his assumption. Were you asked that many times before him?

“Where you from?” Now he was just trying to distract himself from the pain of the needle going through his skin on a continuous loop. You easily noted that.

“Far from here.” You didn’t want to talk about home, okay, he could work around that. Looking off to his surroundings, he noted the many pieces of crumpled paper laying around behind you, a desk in the corner of the room.

“You studying to be an artist?” He panted, wincing once more at the needle.

“Not really, that's just a hobby. I don’t know exactly what I wanna study. By this point, I’m just existing.” Frank snorted at your comment, finding a bit of humor in your situation. 

“So you’re just floating around waiting for---what? An opportunity?” You giggled softly. 

“Basically. Although, I prefer my opportunities to make my day more interesting.” Was that why you helped him? because you wanted your day to be more interesting? Almost as if reading his thoughts, you continued, “Wasn’t the reason why I helped you.” He quirked a brow.

“Then why did you help me?”

“Cause I’m nice.”

_______________________________________

He was a hypocrite. And he accepted that to be a fact.

Duncan, a long-term smoker, always told others not to smoke. He stated the dangers it brought, the different illnesses that could occur, the destruction of certain muscles, and whatnot. All while he smoked on the daily, not truly caring of the risk.

And so he continued. 

A cloud of white toxic smoke seeped from in between his pale lips, the cloud blurring the sun's rays for just a moment. Duncan admired the different ways the smoke rolled around itself, watching as it slowly dispersed into nothingness. It was interesting really.

To have something there one moment, only for it to be gone within the minute.

He remained still in his movements, sitting on some abandoned houses little wooden porch, the floorboards creaking with every deep puff of nicotine he took. The cold was bitter as it bit onto the exposed skins of his face and hands, the rest of his body hidden behind a thick layer of black. The day was calm, no one was on the streets aside from the occasional passing car. It was nice.

“(Y/n), what are you doing?” Your friend inquired, a curious look in her eyes. You hummed lowly, “There’s a guy sitting on the porch of the house across the street.” That didn’t really answer her question. Moving over to stand behind you seated figure on the sofa, she followed your line of vision, straight to the easily recognizable man. Adele reacted, “Oh! Him.” You paused in your sketch, turning to look up at her face, “You know him?” The brunette shook her head, “Nah. I don’t think anyone really knows him. But he likes to smoke there every once in a while. He’s kind of the commmunity’s---uhh, what you call it, outsider? Ghost? Yeah.” You hummed once more, going back to sketching the basic body shapes before continuing on with the boundaries of the clothing and the basic forms of his expression. 

It took around eight or more minutes to finish the drawing.

Just like it took him, eight minutes or more to finish his smoke.

Adding the last bits of details, you looked over the drawing, scrutinizing over its accuracies before deeming it as another good art piece. 

Ripping the page out from the sketchbook, you jumped off the couch, throwing book onto its cushions. Adele watched in confusion as you darted around her house searching for a coat and your fingerless cotton gloves, the same ones that were strewn on the table beside her. 

“Over here.” She raised the gloves above her head, your hand quickly going to grab them and pull them on. Adele continued,” Where are---Are you giving the sketch to him?” Her voice, full of disbelief much like her expression. You nodded, a nervous smile on your lips. 

“Yep!” Was the last thing you said as you walked out of the room, looking over yourself in the mirror for any messy hair ad such. Fixing any imperfections you saw, you opened the door, a cold blast of wind greeting you as you did so.

Duncan noticed you the instant you walked out of the white house across the street from him. You looked as though you were in a daze, you were there but not fully. That was until your eyes met his, then that dazed look you had disappeared in an instant. Instead, it was replaced by one of pure confidence, which was a bit ironic for you had begun to feel overwhelmed with dread. He watched as you glanced down to your gloved covered hands, a piece a paper in their grips.

At first, the assassin had thought that you were going to walk down the block, just like everyone else. But you didn’t just walk down the block like everyone else. No, you headed straight to him. A confident look on your face as you stepped closer to him, close enough that he could tell the general color of your eyes. He mentally readied himself for a fight.

Even more unexpected is when you gestured for him to the lightly folded piece of paper from your gloved hand, a sweet smile on your lips. Squinting his single eye, he put the cigarette out, rubbing its lighted bit on the cold concrete beside him. Slowly, he reached a hand out to the paper, watching as your smile never faltered upon the paper meeting his grasp. Furrowing his brow slightly, he turned the paper so that he turned the page, surprised at what he found.

You had drawn him smoking.

He had half a mind on how you could draw him so close up when he was so far away. 

It was so well done. 

The wrinkles of his face, his light scruff, the shape of his eye, the fabric of eyepatch, the folds of his hairs, and so much more. The smoke itself looked so real---he was thoroughly impressed.

Looking up, he found that you were gone. As shocking as it sounds, he hadn’t realized you had left. Perhaps you had grown too nervous, fearing his reaction. Chuckling, he looked back down to the drawing, finding some writing at the very bottom of the page. It read,

"You're really nice to draw. Hope you'll let me draw you some other time."             - (F/N) (L/N)

Your number scrawled alongside your name.

He may have had half a mind to how you managed to draw him so close, but he had a full mind when it came to calling you a few hours later.

_______________________________________

Okay, the truth was, John, being a killer---common knowledge. You didn’t know about the other two, but John, you definitely knew. Afterall...

You met him while he was on a killing spree.

Hell, you even saved his life.

...

The night was young and full of sweat. The heat radiating off the hundreds of bodies on the dance floor close to suffocating you. It was a good idea to take a break from all the dancing, you were seriously out of breath. You stood amongst your group of friends by the bar, your hands nursing an innocent drink of just water. Droplets of salt sliding down the curve of your spine, staining the velvet fabric of your bodycon dress. You’ve been here for at least four hours, and as much as you loved “girl’s night out” and your friends for inviting you, you seriously did not want to be here anymore. The blisters on your feet being the main reason as to why. Another being that just was just too tired to continue for the night, just wanting to retire to your bed and to fall into the beauties of your dreams.

“One more dance please (Y/N)!” One of your friends begged, a pout on her face. 

I mean, you had the energy for just one more dance. So, why not?

And there you were, dancing with your friends and whichever stranger anyone pulled in, happy smile on everyone's faces. You were all having fun; the alcohol was buzzing through your system, numbing out any previous pain and worry. Your hair was pulled up into a bun, giving air to your warm neck. 

You were currently grinding up against some girl, not even bothering to remember her name when you caught sight of a man. You couldn’t your finger on just why you focused on him and him alone but you did. Maybe it was because of the bloodstains on his white-collar, or maybe it was that deadly serious expression on his bruised and cut-up features, or maybe it was because his presence seemed to just demand attention---but the moment you laid eyes on him, you knew something was up. A bad feeling forming in the walls of your guts.

Pausing in your actions, you smoothly turned around to meet the girl's face, wrapping your arms around her neck, her long golden hair encasing your hands. She gave you a confused look, noting the sudden seriousness in your eyes. Pulling her closer to you, you whispered into her ear, “Got a bad feeling.” You then gestured to the strange man who had coincidently just walked near the two fo you. She, too, saw the bloodstains and the murderous look in his eyes.

Understanding what you were trying to say, she went ahead to grab her own group of friends and get them out of the club as fast as she could. Watching them leave out the club doors, you went over to your friends, who were dancing not far from you. Quickly you said, “Oi! Let’s start heading back, it’s already 1 am and yall got morning classes tomorrow!” They all groaned, cursing under their breaths about you being too much like a mother. Nonetheless, they followed your advice. 

You all began heading out the door when all of a sudden one of them realized they had left their phone on the bar counter. Which was, unfortunately, right smack in the middle of the dancing masses. Breathing in deeply, you told them you would get it but they had to hurry out and get a cab home. 

And that’s how you ended up in this situation.

With your fingers pulling the trigger on the gun you had pulled out from the loosened grips of a dead bodyguard. The bullet flying out from its chamber, flying straight through the forehead of another bodyguard, the one that had greeted you by the door when you first entered the club.

He called you pretty.

Realizing what you did, you gasped in horror, dropping the gun to the cold floor. The sound of its hitting the floor, worsening your now-returning headache. 

It was all instinct. 

The guy was gonna kill the....the....why the fuck did you shoot the bodyguard intead of the suspicious guy from earlier?!

John looked down at you, his eyes widening in shock when he saw the gun in your shaking hands. Glancing over his shoulder, it hit him. 

You saved his life.

You saved his life.

Someone saved Baba Yaga’s life.

Him, the John Wick, was saved by some ordinary girl. Noone special. Not some other assassin. A literal normal person with a normal life.

“Thanks.” He grunted, a small awkward yet appreciative smile on his scarred lips. You simply stared at him, not really knowing what to say as your mind tried to distract you from the horror of your actions. 

“There he is! Look’s like he’s got a partner this time! Kill them both!” 

Guess this wouldn’t be the last time he’d see you.

_______________________________________

(A/N): Sorry for the wait!

Hoped you enjoyed!

Tags:

@gissellec1 💕

@jacelynenursalim @mikaneonox @shanty-lol @alluna-naozumi @piae21

@deezy-061 @attack-on-fandomstuck @arisa-nightingale @princessshanae14 @mmabodybuilder @lolacolaempath

[loove-persevering]

Who Else? (College!Shawn Imagine)

Description: Out of all the people in the world you really had to choose your brother’s best friend to fall for?  (THIS WILL BE A NEW SERIES) If I don’t get a lot of feedback or anything I might discontinue and try and come up with something else so please let me know what you think of this! Its starts out slow but it will get better:)

I actually started writing this at a book on Wattpad but I never finished so let me know what you think of it!

You heard the music before you even stepped out of the car, the window was slightly cracked so the cold air made you pul your jacket closer as you stepped out. You brush the hair out of your face looking back at Mia who had just shut her door, ‘’Come on it’s cold!’’ You yell at her and she quickly walks over to you. ‘’Let’s go!’’ You say quickly walking forward wanting to feel the warmth from inside the house. 

 You finally step in the door and look around noticing all of the people crammed together within the house. You honestly didn’t know who’s house it was you just got invited and showed up, your brother was talking about it and Mia got invited so she extended the invitation. You invited your boyfriend but he said he had to work, he seemed to always be working lately but he was saving up for spring break so you really didn’t mind. 

 ‘’There’s Ethan,’’ Mia says pointing over to your brother. You went to a remotely small college so a lot of the crowds from high school still hung out. Your brother didn’t even notice you were here as he was talking to some girl, you did notice Shawn though he looks at you and nods and you wave back to him. Shawn was your brother’s best friend ever since they were in high school, maybe even before that you couldn’t remember. ‘’Come on,’’ I say to her gesturing to the kitchen to get a drink. 

 I walk in the kitchen over to cooler grabbing a water bottle out, I didn’t like beer more fruity drinks so I was just drinking water tonight, plus I think Mia wanted me to be the DD so I didn’t mind. ‘’Where’s Liam tonight?’’ She asks me. 

‘‘Working,’ I sigh. I hadn’t seen him much lately and he hadn’t been coming around the house as much. ‘‘He’s saving up for spring break,’‘ You say and she nods. 

 ‘’Dude, spring break is going to be soooo fun,’’ She says looking over at you, ‘’But so expensive,’’ She says pouting. ‘’At least he’s making some money,’’ She says.

 You nod taking a sip of your drink looking around the party, ‘’Yeah,’’ You sigh. You all sit around for a while longer just talking to random people, you go dance for a bit but that wasn’t really your style so you quickly made an excuse to go off to the bathroom. 

You had lost Mia a little earlier and were now just talking to some friends from school that were around. You walk back into the scarce hallway glancing into each door careful to what you would see, you couldn’t find the bathroom at all. You make your way over to what looked like a bedroom, hoping to find a bathroom inside you gently push the door open. Once the door was fully pushed open you look up seeing the two familiar faces staring back at you in shock, it was Liam and Mia both panting and her hair was a mess and her shirt was halfway down her torso exposing her red laced bra. You look at the horrified, ‘’What the fuck?’’ You say to them. They immediately jump apart and Mia pulls her shirt back up as Liam makes his way over to you. 

 Liam walks up to you gently placing his hands on the side of your arms, you step back pulling away from him taking your hand and slapping him across the face, ‘’Fuck you!’’ You yell at him turning around and quickly walking away. You practically ran down the hallway but you could still hear him calling out your name, you make your way down the stairs but about halfway down he yanks your arm pulling you back. You fell slightly landing on your butt at how hard he pulled you, you look up at him feeling your eyes brim with tears. 

  ‘’I need to talk to you,’’ He says in a hushed tone probably not wanting to make a scene. ‘’Please,’’ He begs. You scoff at his willingness to try and hide from everyone else what he had been doing, you knew and now it really didn’t matter but he didn’t want it to play out like this. You could make a scene you could scream it out in front of everybody, you glance out at the crowd of people some of them were staring at you and you notice your Ethan at the bottom of the steps staring up at you his face looked angry. 

 ‘’I don’t want to hear it,’’ You say to him. You turn around quickly making your way down the rest of the steps, you glance at your brother who was giving you a worried look. You don’t say anything to him wanting nothing more than to just get out of the house, you walk past him and make your way in between the bodies of people and you can hear Ethan yelling for you. 

 You finally make it to the door and you glance behind you trying to make sure Liam wasn’t following you either and you crash right into someone. ‘’I’m sorry,’’ You say immediately not even bothering to see who it was first. You finally look up and notice Shawn was staring down at you his eyebrows were furrowed together as he look down at you confused. 

‘‘Y/N? Why are you crying?’‘ He asks. You reach up feeling your cheeks which were wet and you look back up at him shaking your head back and forth. 

‘‘I’m fine,’‘ You say to him, you look back finally seeing your brothers face in the crowd, ‘‘Can you make sure he doesn’t follow me? I need a minute,’‘ You plead to him, you touch his arm and he looks where your hand was and back up to you, you must’ve looked panicked because he nods his head slowly at you looking into the house. He looks back to you and you give him a gracious smile before turning around and jogging away. 

 You felt like you had ran ten miles not even having a direction in mind, you finally found yourself at a park. You recognized it as a park that you had gone to with Liam when you took his little sister. You sigh making your way over to the swings, sitting down crossing your feet in front of you. How could you have been so stupid? To not notice that your best friend and your boyfriend were fooling around with you right behind your back. How could you not notice?

 ___

 A few hours later after walking home slowly you finally made it back home. You notice the living room light was on and you had to prepare yourself for the questions to come. You push the door open and walk in shutting the door and licking it behind you, you take your coat off throwing it on the table sitting next to the entrance. You walk into the living room and notice Shawn was sitting there stretched out across the couch, he sits up leaning on his elbows when he notices you, ‘’Hey,’’ You say to him.

 ‘’Hey,’’ He says looking a little speechless, ‘’Are you okay?’’ He asks you and you nod giving him a small smile. Ethan walks in from the kitchen with a piece of pizza in his hand.

 ‘’Where were you?’’ He asks sounding annoyed. 

‘‘I was out,’‘ You answer shrugging your shoulders making your way to the stairs. 

He walks over to the bottom of the stairs as you make your way up the first step, he looks at you concerned, ‘’What happened?’’ He asks you in a hushed tone, you glance behind him at Shawn who seemed to still be paying attention intently. 

 You sigh turning your gaze away from the both of them, ‘’I really don’t want to talk about it.’’ You say. You begin walking up the stairs and Ethan follows you up the stairs, you walk into your room and Ethan stands at the door, you sigh turning around. ‘’Liam and Mia have been getting together,’’ You sigh. 

 You turn around and look at his face watching how shocked he looked, ‘’Are you fucking serious?’’ He asks his face looking angry. ‘’What the hell?’’ He says and you nod your head at him giving him a tight lipped smile. 

 ‘’I really just wanna go to bed okay?’’ You say to him. He looks over you once more probably wanting to make sure you weren’t going to blow up as soon as he left. You were upset but you were genuinely fine, he cheated and that didn’t deserve your tears. What hurt the most was Mia, how she would causally bring him up in a conversation, this entire time she was just playing with you. 

 He walks out of your room slowly shutting the door giving you a small smile and leaves the room, you didn’t want to go to sleep you weren’t really tired so you stayed up for a few more hours. You turned on some music and you were writing in your journal when you heard a knock at your door, you look at the time reading 4:55am. You get up walking toward the door opening it slightly, you were shocked to see Shawn standing there. 

 ‘’Hey,’’ He says softly barely above a whisper. 

‘‘Hi,’‘ You say leaning against the door frame. ‘‘Do you need something?’‘ You ask him. 

 He shakes his head no, ‘’I just heard the music-’’ He begins to say.

 ‘’Oh! I’m sorry I can turn it off?’’ You say cutting him off and turning around walking over to the speaker turning it off, ‘’Sorry,’’ You say turning around seeing he was glancing around your room. 

 ‘’Oh, I didn’t come to say turn it off,’’ He pauses glancing once again around your room noticing the art around your walls, ‘’You’re a really good artist,’’ He says looking back to you making eye contact with you, ‘’I just came to make sure you were alright? Your brother told me about what happened...’’ He says. 

 You felt slightly annoyed but it was Shawn so you really didn’t care, Shawn had been around for lots of things that had happened in your family so you did trust him. ‘’Yeah, I mean it’s whatever I guess,’’ You say shrugging your shoulder. 

 ‘’Well I’m sorry,’’ He says and you smile at him, ‘’Sorry if this was weird,’’ You say to him. 

 ‘’No,’’ You laugh, ‘’It’s fine! Thanks for asking anyway,’’ You say sitting back down on your bed. Shawn stands there awkwardly and shoved his hands into his hoodie pocket, ‘’Well I’m sorry about the music,’’ You say. 

 ‘’No worries, I’m gonna go back downstairs!’’ He says grabbing the door handle, ‘’Goodnight Y/N,’’ He says looking up at you making eye contact, you give him a smile and he shuts the door and you can hear the creaking from the floor as he makes his way downstairs. You fall back onto your bed turning off your lamp, you couldn’t help but fall asleep with a smile even after all the events that had happened today. You smiles because you knew you had other people that cared, and that meant the world. 

HIII guys! I hope you enjoyed this! I wanted to make the encounter between the reader and Shawn very awkard and uncomfortable but still sweet because I truly think that’s how it is when you have a crush on a friend of your sibling so tell me if I’m right about that or not, I don’t have siblings but I have had crushes on my friends brothers and I was always hellllla awkward! So tell me what you think of this? What do we want to see in the next Chapter? Much love xxxx

[anuknowha]

In Love with Post

Title: In Love with Post 

Genre: Fluff, Romance

Pairing: Post Malone x Reader

Word Count: 1,892

Characters: 9,854       W/o spaces: 7,964

//Heads up. Sorry if this isn’t as good, I wrote it a few months back and sadly, I kept switching between 1st and 2nd person. I hate this but I wanted to get it out here anyway. And if you want me to add you to any taglist let me know. 

It's been a while since I started my career and I still haven't been able to hit my expected level of love from my fans. Yeah, people from all over the world are listening, but it's not as many as I want it to be. Hard work pays off eventually, just takes time and effort, and even some expectations that are randomly plotted into the situation. A few months into my journey as a musician, I finally got to meet someone I've had my eye on for a while, Post Malone. He was an idol to me-  someone to look up to with backstory, but most importantly he caught my attention because of his outgoing personality and his emotional expressions in front of and behind the audience. He wasn't afraid of being himself, speaking his mind, and definitely showing off the tattoos that seemed to cover him from head to toe. For some reason I loved that about him, and because of that, I worked my way to get signed under the same record label company. And I wouldn't take no for an answer. From behind curtains on the stage I heard the voices of screaming, raging fans that were excited for tonight's show. A sigh came left my lips as I peeked through in awe before quickly turning my head in his direction. He was still getting ready, and I watched from afar as I waited for him to finish getting his "good luck" wishes. As he walked towards the stage he stopped in front of me, "Good luck out there Austin. I know you'll do great." He pats me on the back, "I told you to call me Post" he chuckles as he waves goodbye and walks past the curtains and front center stage. I haven't called him Post is weeks, mostly because I knew my dream was finally coming true and was hoping he'd get the hint some, but even without it, he never let me leave my guard down around him. The music starts, and from my spot backstage, it's obvious my favorite song of his, Psycho. I hum along to the beat, before mouthing the words so subtly. A few more songs from his recent album played before he took a break. When he came backstage he was drenched in sweat. Those working for him gave him a towel and a beer to help him cool off an relax. During the 15 minute intervention, he sat next to me and just continued to sip his alcoholic beverage. And when he wasn't looking I'd take a quick glance over his direction and smile some before letting it fade away quickly. Before I knew it they announced his reappearance and he leaves to go back on stage. Tempted to follow, I don't, instead I just watch as he walks back towards the curtains to continue his concert. I could tell he threw me a small smile, or maybe it was just him be excited to live out his dream once more. After about another 40 minutes of performing I finally hear him dismissing himself from the display of the fans. He walks back, looking a little tired, but I can't help but giggle. "You did great Post." "Good job man, you had the crowd going wild." Comments like such were raining from his fellow security as he received many high fives, pats on backs and hugs. Afterwards he came over to me holding out his hand. I took it, and felt him use his strength to lift me off the floor. "Great job Austin. I don't think I've seen a better performance of yours." He seemed to let it slide by him at the moment but, he didn't seem to mind about me calling him Austin. "Thanks." His voice sounded more tired than anything as he started walking towards the exit with the rest of his men, with me following behind quietly like a baby duck. Arriving in the tour bus, he started taking pictures with his friends as they started playing beer pong. I watched from the other side, knowing I was still too young to drink. Cheers and sounds of encouragement were heard for about 30 minutes and discontinued, at least that's what I thought as I realized a slumped over Post Malone, sleep on the chair. It made me laugh some, and snort under my breath as if not to wake him. Within minutes, we were back at the hotel and I found myself about to separate from him, that was until I heard him call out my name, which suddenly caused me to turn around. "Wanna come to my room to play a few games?" I tilted my head, "I thought you were tired, you worked hard today and you were sleep on the ride here." Though spending time with him was my main purpose I couldn't help but consider him first out the kindness of my heart. Before responding to me, he gestured me to his room and I decided to follow. He plopped down on the bed and handed me a controller before taking one in his own hands. "I'm not really that good at video games, I loved them but never had the systems to play them." Cracking my knuckles I got prepared for said game, and to my pleasure it was a fighting game. "Well that's fine, you have enough to afford them now right, or do I need to get them for you?" He suggested playfully. "No thank you." I say in almost a huff that he shrugs off instantly. Us two play a few hours and now it's 1am and a slightly drunk Post is frustrated at me beating him, so he calls it quits. A victory laugh in triumph erupts from my throat as he falls backwards onto the bed. I remained on the floor, not wanting to wake him as I listened his breathing become shallow, and therefore just wait until the morning. I awaken before him, and rub my eyes glancing up at him behind me. I don't bother to wake him since today he had a break, instead I let him sleep off the alcohol and start playing the game against the computer on a low volume. Within the next three hours he wakes up, and I feel him watching me but say nothing until he gets up to go to the bathroom. "Good morning sleepy head." A groggy, "Morning" drifts past his lips as he lifts himself out the bed and shifts towards the bathroom. "What time is it?" "About 12 or so, I didn't bother to wake you because you seemed so tired." Before I could finish my sentence I heard the toilet flush, which means he probably missed some of the things I just said, but it didn't really matter to me at the moment as I was so concentrated on the game. He started washing his hands and within the next few seconds I heard the shower running, he drifts past me to grab clothes but my eyes are still glued on the game. Another 30 minutes pass and a fully clothed Austin walks in your view of the TV preventing me from playing well. "What are you doing...?" I question, an eyebrow raised slightly. "Rematch" sitting down next to me he scoops up the controller and starts to set it to two player. Playing 5 rounds, in which I lost 4, he decided to smirk in victory and put down his controller. I looked over at him, and put mine down as well, and that's when I felt my stomach growl. "Hey, you hungry...? I think I'll go out to grab us something really quick." He nodded softly and I left the room only to be stopped by his "employees" outside the hotel door. They were wondering what happened, but I just waved "hi" and continued walking past. Within 20 minutes I return back to his room to see him playing a different game. I toss the bag of food on his bed and put the drinks on the nearby nightstand. "I'm back." I say almost presently. "Got some late breakfast. I really had a taste for bacon is all. Sorry if it's not what you wanted. Oh, I also wanted to buy you beer but they had to check me of course, and I'm still not at the minimum age-" I stop in my track of words as he was finishing up his round. I sit next to him stuffing my face and letting out a deep sigh. Moments of silence elapsed and I had finished my food along with my drink. I curled into a small ball on the floor and watched the TV change colors as he stopped his gameplay. He gently put down his controller to grab his sandwich and start eating. "Austin I..." I trailed off, but he commented, "How much do I owe you?" I was almost taken aback by the question, confused some, even. "O-owe me for what...?" I stutter. "The food. You bought my food, right?" Thinking for a second I violently nod, "Oh yeah-! Don't worry about it, I don't mind spending money on you." He stopped chewing for a second but still had a mouth full of food, "Why is that?" he questioned. An awkward silence dawned the room, and it stayed that way for what seemed like hours. I avoided eye contact with him and still did even after I was able to get my thoughts together. "I love you..." I say as I bite back tears that begin forming in my eyes. He seemed to have almost choked on his food in disbelief. "I love you Austin Richard Post. Not for the money or the fame but because of you being you. I don't care that you have millions are your expense but I don't see that as important. I'd still love you even if you were still at home playing guitar as a hobby. I don't care where you are or where you're going. And yes it's hard to believe, but you're so funny whenever I see you around. Your positive attitude hits everyone in every concert hall you enter. You're caring and generous. Especially when you helped that girl who was being pushed and shoved in front of your face. Your smile, your laugh, your voice is what attracts me to you. And I've been wanting to at least confess regardless of how much you believe me. I just know I wouldn't let you fall apart between my fingers. And I know I'm not a Nicki Minaj or Demi Levato, I'm not the most attractive I'm the bunch, but I do have genuine feelings and I was hoping one day you might give me a chance to prove it to you." With that I took a deep breath, sweat blaring down my face and neck, I turned my head in the opposite direction so that his blue eyes weren't able to meet mine. I could tell he was shocked though, I was just glad to get out my confession to the guy I loved and admired for the longest, Austin Post.

“I love you too, Y/N” he stated, eventually smiling at me with one the biggest and brightest smiles I’ve ever seen on a person.

[chanyueda]

Harmless Prank My Ass

In celebration of April Fools, I made a rather shitty fanfic but anyone who reads this hope yall enjoy my mediocre writing (it was 4 pages long in google docs -- its long right)

Confessions to your crushes seem like a generic, recurring way of pranking someone, especially during April 1st. It’s April Fools Day, harmless pranks are everywhere. Pranks that involve coming out, hurting someone and the like aren’t tolerated during this day, but what if it sounded so genuine you nearly forget its April Fools? Can you actually say, “it’s just a prank bro!” when feelings are involved? They all tell us to not play with other people’s feelings, and today shouldn’t be an exception to that rule. Every word you say holds weight in other people’s minds.

That’s what he failed to do, being a goofy, happy-go-lucky guy that he is. He is not an ignorant though, he just wanted to play a harmless prank one of his co-workers. He’d plan it so perfectly it’s not bound to fail, or so he thought.

Today was now April 1st, everyone else in Buzzfeed is already playing pranks on anyone they find on the office. Someone had put an air horn on one of the office chairs, waiting to be “blown” by whoever sat on that chair. There were no pranks done on Steven when he walked on towards his spot towards the back. He peacefully sank on the office chair, thinking of the perfect time to execute the planned prank. It wasn’t now, that he was sure, since the person he wanted to place the prank on was nowhere near his spot on the office.

“Must be shooting for Eating Your Feed. Oh well.”

So Steven started researching for new ideas for Worth It. Lately they haven’t shot anything for a new season, and the fans are currently trying to get hold of them because they’ve been away for so long. What’s more, the fans fear that they might not actually come back, due to the fact that Steven now lives in New York; they think that moving back and forth from LA to New York would be quite a hassle for him, hence the reason why they fear the series being discontinued. He’d actually reassured them of their comeback though, but it’s not about food. At least, they’d be getting a Worth It season.

While scrolling away on the iMac, he’d seen his target exiting from the elevator, looking all tired and sweaty. Some co-workers wanted to prank him but he just passed them by, now sinking to the soft, comfy office chair with a sigh.

“Rough day?”

“Yeah.”

Well this wasn’t the perfect moment to do the prank.

“Wanna eat out later?” He had an extremely goofy smile that seemed to radiate happiness to whoever sees it. That smile that immediately sent butterflies fluttering in on Andrew.

“Sure, why not?”

The plan was already in execution, little did he know. Andrew was completely unaware of what was going to happen later, sadly, he can’t prepare himself for it. He had a plan of his own too, but preferred not to do it today as he deemed the day was not appropriate for it. It’s April Fools Day after all, not the best time to admit what you actually feel for someone.

Hours later, the plan was still commencing. The two fancy boys already got out of the office, having a conversation on where to eat. Since the start of Worth It, they’ve noticed their palate changing, they haven’t been getting much fast food lately. They’ve been getting “exquisite” foods but still on an affordable price. Today, they just decided to eat at Shake Shack, since they can’t think of any place to go to.

Shake Shack was bumbling with people, as usual. Steven told Andrew to get seats for them. He just shrugged and went to the far back, away from chatters and noisy kids. While waiting in line, Steven already composed himself for this. It wasn’t the most perfect time but this time, there is an opportunity to do the plan as followed.

Once he’d ordered, the both of them just sat there and ate, no conversations transpired. The atmosphere seemed really different, something was off with one of them.

“You’re unusually quiet today.” Andrew observed, taking a curly fry in his mouth. “Not used to it.”

“I just...have a lot on my mind right now.” He excused. “I want to tell something to this person but I don’t know if they’ll be fine with it…”

Andrew took a sip of the milkshake, “Well, you’ll never know unless you do it.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

Silence soon followed, neither of them spoke a thing or two. Steven was still doing his pretend nervousness while Andrew just continued with being his casual self.

“Stop that.”

Steven has been absentmindedly forking the fries. “Oh, sorry.  It’s just that…”

“What? Still nervous?”

“Kinda…”

Small talk won’t do.

“About the whole thing earlier...well, how should I put it…” Steven wasn’t pretending anymore, he was actually fidgeting right now. He’d went back to forking the fries. Something had settled within himself, doubtful thoughts swirling inside of his mind. “I should...man up and say it, right?”

“Yeah, I mean, that was what a decent guy would do.”

Steven took a long sigh before saying, “I...kinda like you.” He’d patiently waited for any kind of reaction that would emanate from his friend but he only saw confusion. Moments later, there was a slight relief that was present in his green eyes and a smile ceased to reveal itself. Soon enough, it was replaced with a frown.

“Honestly...I didn’t...expect that.” Andrew whispered the last sentence. “Maybe it was mutual after all.”

“That’s the whole point of jokes, dude! You don’t expect them!” Steven was giggling out of himself, unaware of what is actually transpiring before him. His friend looked at him sadly, ceasing any kind of unwanted feelings to appear, any kind of words that threatened to be spoken out.

Andrew stood up almost suddenly, earning a look from other people. He didn’t give a damn anymore, that was sure. He felt mad now, mad at Steven, which he never felt not until now. The silver haired guy was still unaware of everything else, not until Andrew started to take small steps away from their spot. He’d finally exited Shake Shack with a deep frown on his features, still not believing that everything, every word was just a joke. Of course, Steven was now aware that he’d left him alone, so he chased after his friend. Luckily, he was just still outside of the establishment.

“Those kinds of pranks should never be done in the first place, Steven. Playing with other people’s feelings is not a healthy habit, and you of all people should know that.” He seethed as soon as he felt Steven behind him. “You could potentially hurt someone...permanently.”

“P-Permanently?”

“Just like how other people would have trust issues because someone decided to play them like a fucking ragdoll.” He faced him. “Do you understand what I’m saying?!”

So this was the unsettling feeling that he felt earlier. Steven knew he shouldn’t have done this, but still he did. What the hell was wrong with him, anyway? Now, his friend’s gone mad, and the reasons were still unclear to him. Sure, he was angry because feelings got played on but is that it? There was something with the way these words were said.

“S-Sorry...it was supposed to be harmless prank…”

“Harmless prank?! How was that harmless?! Okay, fine, you didn’t hurt anyone physically, but you’ve hurt me emotionally! That still counts as harmful!”

“Why are you getting so aggressive about it?!” It was now Steven’s turn to raise his voice. He was still confused after all, and the only way to clear this up was to ask a question, but he didn’t intend for it to sound that way.

“You wouldn’t even need to know because you never take things seriously.” He snapped, causing Steven to let out tears that he’d been holding back since then.

“You didn’t need to go that far...I only wanted to know your reason…”

He sighed, “Would you take it seriously if I told you right now,” he started wiping those tears off of Steven’s cheeks, “that I actually thought that what you told me was...hmm, mutual?”

Instead of understanding the situation, Steven only got more confused. “Mutual? What?”

“What I’m saying was I thought we liked each other. You know...more than this?”

Steven seemed to have stopped crying now, finally coming to a realization that Andrew likes him.

“The...love type of like or…”

“That type. What else?” Andrew chuckled. “You fancy, silly boy.”

He flicked Steven’s forehead, and kissed it right after. “Maybe I ought to say I love you, instead of I like you.”

[yasminsqueendom]

Antique the Vamp Geek Pt1 Ep9

CW: Lots of anxiety and anger

A/N: Sis is stressed

W/C: 955

Hey y’all! So y’all been telling me that I’ve been too serious lately. You miss when I would be on my bullshit. So let me hit you with the bullshit:

I got approved for a program at community that includes online classes and night classes. But, I haven't officially accepted because of the whole family thing. 

Technically, I will still be a full time student at my current school until the end of the semester. But since I won't be continuing full time beyond this school year…..

I would be considered a part time student and a non resident because I don't live on campus which disqualifies the need for me to disclose my status to my school EEEOOOOOWW. And community doesn't require a status update.

Downfall, I lose quite a bit of scholarship money, and this is going to take me longer. 

Upside, I'm not really taking a step back, just kinda at a stand still. But eventually I will start moving forward again. 

So….since we got that out of the way…..I get a lot of messages. I mean a LOT of them. And I can't read them all, but I read what I can. 

And I see what you're doing you sneaky son of a bitch!

YOU THOUGHT!

You fucking thought I wouldn't catch you sliding in my dms after everything you put me through. 

Oh yeah….I'm talking to you! The rat bastard that turned me. Bitch ass nigga.

So you like sending cryptic little emails about how you didn't appreciate me telling your M.O. 

Well maybe if your filthy ass stopped preying on drunk girls in collegetown bars you wouldn't get put on blast!

Talmbout “that gold sequined dress fit nice on you that night. You should wear it again.”

DON'T BE SENDING ME NO SHIT LIKE THAT. I WILL FUCK YOU UP. N I K K A!

I told y'all. I'm on my bullshit.

And yes. The raggedy nigga that bit me has been sending me random ass emails about specific details about that night. Threatening to “expose” some shit. 

NIGGA I AM DYING BECAUSE OF YOUR RAGGEDY ASS AND YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO DEMAND I DISCONTINUE SPREADING MY GOOD WORD TO HELP PEOPLE THAT HAVE BEEN PREYED ON BY PEOPLE LIKE YOU. 

Oh you DUMB dumb. Nigga don't play with me. It was one night all of 10 mins. You don't know shit about me. The holy hands of ancestral strength will snatch you by your fucking collar. Fuck outta here. Ashy ass. 

Which brings me to another point….

I know college life because I live that shit.

Start watching your fucking surroundings. Self awareness and situational awareness will be the keys to your SURVIVAL. 

If your environment is too quiet all of a sudden, or too loud perk those ears and eyes up. Use all your senses. Are there any strange smells? Keep your hands over your drinks. DO NOT TRUST ANYONE WITH YOUR DRINK. NO, NOT EVEN YOUR BEST FRIEND. THAT BITCH WON'T BE PAYING ATTENTION IF SHE DRUNK TOO. She WILL look away if a fine dude come up.

Anyway, I'm off my soap box. 

So, yeah. I get any number of weird ass fetish emails, threats, the usual. But, I'm thinking of just creating a page for you to post your questions. I'll be answering them there and y'all can enjoy that there. 

Hmm…..any other updates? 

Oh yes. There has definitely been some outreach from more experienced vamps coming out and trying to help some of us. They seem to be a little picky about what they release, but that's something I guess. 

Also, our safety is important to me, so I wanted to give you guys a few heads up on some things I  heard.

There is a number that has been calling people and demanding that if they don’t come to their local precinct and submit for status testing immediately, they will be arrested and fined. THIS IS NOT TRUE. It is not a requirement to disclose your status with the exception of private institutions like schools, medical centers, and some businesses. 

For example, your local supermarket can’t demand a blood test, and neither can your papi store. Your children’s school, and colleges and universities can. Hospitals require testing (on the basis that you are highly contagious). Now listen closely to this: Simply being arrested doesn’t automatically mean that are required to submit to blood testing. That is only required if you are going to be put in prison. 

It is extremely important that you know your rights. They are looking for any excuse. And this is for my black baby vamps specifically: Show no fear in the face of their hate. Even the ones that claim they do it out of “love.”

I don’t wanna be on my soap box too long. I just really hope that everyone is alright. People have been sending me some disturbing messages about attacks. Assholes have been ripping Muslim garb off of women in broad daylight to see if they burn. Some have even been setting up fake online chats/groupe/pages trying to lure naive vamps into revealing info about themselves, and then reporting them. 

Essentially, I just wanna say to be careful y’all. Don’t give out any more info than is strictly necessary. Don’t reveal your exact location. Don’t even add your phone number to your social media profiles. Don’t even put your picture up if you are not out as a vamp. Stay aware of your surroundings. There are real threats and dangers out here. Keep your head up.

Anyway, that’s all I have for you today.

Stay moisturized and hydrated!

Love Tique.

[isuckatthisdonti]

Sup doods! Happy January 2nd. I have many asks to reply that kinda just piled up, but don’t wanna spam the dash so i’ll answer them in one post. Sorry for being late yo.  Thank you for all the asks!

Yeah!  A lot of them are stuff I never uploaded.... I might log them on pixiv someday like you said :)))))) 

I have in the past!  i really like my style and glad that ppl are asking me those things but at the same time I’m an extremely insecure and have low self esteem so idk what ill do if everyone started mimicking my style...i am aware that “imitation is the greatest form of flattery” and I’m supposed to be honored and happy but instead just makes me super worried and even more insecure....this...this style is all i have in my pathetic life... i want to keep it to myself for now... at least until im better at drawing and have more confidence and dont feel like a worthless trash all the time and have more than 1 thing that i’m proud of about myself. im sorry tips are fine tho! :D ....j-...“just the tip” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (sorry i had to say that) 

not wrong! thank you for your support + liking the execution series that I’ve done! :) i really spent hours and days thinking and drawing them so im happy to see some people liking them! the anon hates ive been getting are sorta my fault tho, for being insensitive on a very serious topic. but it’s kind of getting out of hand to the point where im getting death threats...so im mentally not up to continuing on, it’s not worth the risk and also terrified of accidentally offending some people. I might continue on personally but will not upload them, esp on tumblr.... i hope you understand..... I really really appreciate the support tho! it makes me happy when i see positive comments about what i draw.  I’ve received couple other anons asking something similar+giving me moral support....thank you very much.... these kind comments are what keeps me going even after getting very negative comments and kys type messages... thank you very much 

damn you’re right. Added! thanks for letting me know

Nope! but there’s a fullbody maki drawing in 5317 that i haven’t posted yet. i do have an execution in mind for her but since the series is discontinued... :/ meh. maybe someday. 

I actually saw something similar to that for saihara execution being an escape room!(done by someone else, i tried looking for the post but failed;;; sorry)! in that person’s version he was in an escape room/maze solving puzzles and but (i think) he runs out of time and a door opens behind him, and the previous blackened characters all stretch their hands and pull him inside the door as it closes. it was super cool.   but death by doggos huh....scary. 

it’s not like keebo is mine dood! you can have as much keebo as you want :DDDDDDDD 

yep, got a dm about that person. super not cool to sell other peoples’ artworks man.... but it has been dealt with. thank you for letting me know 

i think that’s it  :) hope you doods have a wonderful Wednesday! man it feels like a monday...haha

[nationaldoyoungday]

hi!! 💗 i really love your aus 💘 and i was wondering if you have any text au recs?

uwu hi??? thank you i’m glad you like them!! and yes i DO have recs, i have so many omg i just want to spread the love!! underneath the cut are some (a lot) of my favorites thank you so much for asking this 💖💞💝💘💕✨

complicated by @daisyong

19/19 (completed) / jaemin x reader - where both jaemin and y/n are idols and everything is more complicated.

↳ LISTEN. this is so cute i tear up thinking about it. it’s so FLUFFY idk it’s just really good if you wanna feel soft about jaemin

chlorine dreams by @dahyunmingyu

15/15 (completed) / jaehyun x reader - there’s been a long standing rivalry at your school between the basketball team and the swim team. the swim team has been undefeated for 4 years, whereas the basketball team hasn’t won a game in 3. every year the basketball team ends up with all of the funding for the athletics department whereas half of the school doesn’t even know the swim team exists. with a bet that jaehyun wouldn’t even be able to finish a swim practice, y/n threatens the existence of both of their teams

↳ this is such an original idea and um i’m weak for swimmer!nct and it’s just really good pls read it

three’s a crowd by @qiankulture

14/14 (completed) / yuta x reader, ten x reader - y/n and yuta are a dance duo who are often assumed to be dating by fans because of their intimate pieces and how they act around each other. everything is all fine and dandy until a certain model comes into the picture.

↳ i read this before i started this account i think? and just it’s really good words can’t describe how much i like it :(

what is love? by @qiankulture

13/13 (completed) / donghyuck x reader - when haechan pulls a prank on unsuspecting y/n, she isn’t too happy. she does her best to avoid him at all costs. but it seems the universe has other plans because everywhere she looks, haechan is there.

↳ hnnng this was so cute that i hate it? the way that donghyuck tries to tell her that he’s his soulmate? my heart. anyways it’s so good! pls my heart can’t handle it

love bot by @dreamloveclub

7/7 (completed) / mark x reader - mark lee was never good with words — except when it came to talking about you. hidden behind the sanctuary of anonymity, he uses the Love Bot to express his feelings about you.

↳ if you read only one thing on this list PLEASE read this omg!! ellie is a genius and this is quite possibly the cutest thing i’ve ever read in my life? it’s such a good idea and she didn’t get enough love for it :(

love bug by @dreamloveclub

4/? (discontinued) / jeno x reader - two computer science majors and self-proclaimed amateur hackers unknowingly race against each other to find out who their secret admirers are. true love is but a click away.

↳ i didn’t think anything after love bot could be so good but this? it proved me wrong djdjdhdh it’s just as good and as always they are both dumb pls read it

puppy love by @dreammutual

13/13 (completed) / renjun x reader - renjun accidentally likes a picture on y/n’s instagram from almost 2 years ago and, foolery ensues when their mutual friends try to get them together.

↳ this made me spill all my uwus its so cute and funny omg please! i’ve said this already but i really love this (i really love everything on this list djdjdj)

not me, not you by @dyngdo

22/22 (completed) / doyoung x reader - in which a rivalry since grade school never died. y/n has always hated doyoung, and he’s always hated her, or at least that’s what they claim. but when y/n and doyoung have been framed for a crime they didn’t commit, the two have to work together to find out the truth. but amidst all the chaos, they can’t figure out what that bubbling feeling inside their chest is.

↳ as i said before, i am weak for doyoung so uh! surprise another doyoung au djdjdj but whenever this gets updated my heart? i have so much love for this fic

destined by @godrics

22/22 (completed) / donghyuck x reader - the red string of fate exists, and only few families are able to see the string, and these few families can actually cut strings and knot other people’s strings in to alter the soulmate laws. your family have been able to see the red string of fate since the beginning of time, and you are no exception. when you come back to korea after spending your summer in america, you had not expected your best friend to have a boyfriend that wasn’t their soulmate. and you did not expect their boyfriend to be your soulmate. despite this, you want your best friend to be happy, and if that means not spending the rest of your life with your soulmate and being happy yourself, then so be it.

↳ i also believe i read this before making this account? but anyways i love soulmate aus and i have a thing for the red string of fate it’s my favorite!! but this was so realistic (as realistic as a soulmate au can be LMAO) and it was really good!!!

my first and last by @godrics

20/20 (completed) / jaemin x reader - in which na jaemin finally gets the chance he’s been waiting for.

↳ again jaemin fluff? here please just read it. words can’t describe how cute this was!!

fan by @markleeh

25/25 (completed) / jaemin x reader - in which idol!jaemin finds a cellphone number of a nctzen.

↳ hhhhh this was so funny? renjun is such a savage djdjdj i’m always crying when i read this i wish my friends were this funny

how can i love you? by @markleeh

18/18 (completed) / jeno x reader - in which y/n just wants to know how youtuber!jeno looks so fine and how he likes his eggs in the morning.

↳ this was so cute too uwu everything on this list was cute tbh but this was the cutest (i want to know how jeno likes his eggs in the morning too)

not my type by @nakajeno

25/25 (completed) / yuta x reader - y/n doesn’t fall in love, neither does yuta – instead, they make others fall in love with them.

↳ yeah anyways yuta needs more appreciation and love and this fic really. hit me in the feels anyways read this or :/ it was so good jdjdjdjd i’m saying that about everything but? it’s true!

home sweet home by @dreamboynana

22/22 (completed) / renjun x reader - maybe falling in love with teen model huang renjun was a bad idea….but then again when did you ever think things through?

↳ rei is such a good writer omg!! renjun as a model hell yes!! anyways this has the perfect amount of fluff and angst and if you don’t read it you’re a coward it deserves all the love in the world

need to know by @solecitojun

20/? (in progress) / yukhei x reader, taeyong x reader - friendships are all meant to be based on honesty, yet there are many things being hidden in yours. in which your bestfriend has to figure out his feelings, and college is sending everyone on a spiral.

↳ ok listen. so i read a few aus before i started this account but um. this was the very first au and i’m telling you. i hate it so much but i love it more ughghgh i hate angst but um this really is trying to get me to love it!! yukhei deserves more but i mean don’t we all?

too late by @solecitojun

3/? (in progress) / doyoung x reader - same upbringing, same neighborhood, same lifestyle ; but what he thinks is two different worlds. they’re both from the underground scence, one fighter and another a musician. years are left uncovered. could it be too late for him, or for you?

↳ doyoung. that’s all i have to say djdjdj. no but seriously your au ideas are so good and this one is no exception i love it :(

sunrise by @wereseoyoung

15/15 (completed) / johnny x reader - no. moon y/n is not in love with one of the university night time radio hosts. it’s just a crush! … kinda… but he’s not interested! … probably.

↳ if you hear me screaming about something? it’s this fic? listen there aren’t like. any johnny aus out there but this one makes up for it because its SO GOOD?? this is literally all i’m ever going to talk about for the rest of my life unfollow me if you haven’t read this djdjdjd i love it so much :(((

starstruck by @wereseoyoung

1/? (in progress) / yuta x reader - can you believe that every tuesday practice the yuta nakamoto — smu alumni and now striker of one of korea’s biggest soccer clubs — will come down to help assist with practices? y/n doesn’t really care though. her job is to be the manager. not be impressed by some soccer star. but maybe sometimes he’s kinda cool.

↳ anyways can’t believe you are a genius and really have an au planned out for every member? i wish i was as organized and talented as you!!! this hasn’t even really started and i’m already in love save me :(

black and blue by @1nomins

10/10 (completed) / jaemin x reader, jeno x reader - everywhere a soulmate touches leaves flowers, and everywhere someone else you’ve fallen in love with touches leaves bruises. you’re happy to suffer.

↳ spence did you know i hate you because of this. not really but i love everything you write and it’s always angsty and i always end up hurting afterwards but its worth it :(

10 step love by @1nomins

12/12 (completed) / jeno x reader - or, alternatively, lee jeno’s (and huang renjun’s) 10 step foolproof program to getting the girl.

↳ can’t believe you wrote something so fluffy? anyways this is like my guilty pleasure and i love the playlist for it!! with the frank sinatra songs sjdjdjdj

1-800-loveline by @1nomins

15/15 (completed) / jeno x reader - you never imagined that finding a phone number in a school library book could lead to anything. you were oh-so-wrong.

↳ loveline? yeah i hate it. only read this if you feel like hurting yourself! i’m kidding, it’s so good but so sad but worth it in the end, as it is with anything spence writes

[lilmajorshawty]

How does a season affect bc I honestly can't relate and can't tell. Like for example, a saw an anon say she's been having vivid dreams lately probably bc its pisces season and bc she has pisces venus.. Why's that? I just wanna know how seasons affect us in general. Ty 😩💕

Well since it’s coming up soon! Aries season: It’s where we have more energy! Where we are both impulsive and even more confrontational! The sun is moving into Aries which affects everyone differently it can either square your planets which might make you feel tense and trapped or it can be opposite or inconjunct which might make you feel as if you don’t have any direction to send out your energy! It could positively hit your planets and give you more of a carefree and even youthful energy during the season and so on! Aries season is about starting things over and the point of the year where we all really start to feel like “damn this is a new year” it’s about acting not thinking! It’s about the instincts rather than the mind. Ironically this is like spring brakes and when spring kicks off so for the most part adrenaline and even sexuality runs high during this time as if you’re finding yourself for the first time all over again. So think beaches and vacations and huge parties or even just think gyms and working out and just overall wanting to be on the go. Taurus season: it’s more about stability and security! This can be a season full of self love and even more reclusive behavior! People can be stubborn as heck and you might find yourself putting up a fight more than you normally would even if it’s not that serious. It’s a season about pleasures and enjoying others. Can be a lot of laziness and sloth during this time but a lot of sentimentality and love also! I’ve noticed it to be a time of relationships flourishing but it can be troublesome for relationships because Taurus is about security and if that isn’t something that is present in the relationship during Taurus season arguments can be heated and last FOREVER cause no one wants to back down or at least till Gemini season comes around. Gemini season: It’s about communicating and having a good time! Making connections is super easy during this season and social media is VERY lit during Gemini season really anything that has to do with the internet and electronics are at the center focus! Apps, cameras and so on. It can be harder to reach your emotions during this time and you may notice that this season takes you away from any “baggage” so in a sense Gemini season is about moving on from anguish and or anything that could be holding you back and letting go! It’s a mixture of freedom yet for a good cause! Similarly with Aries season harsher or positive - aspects to natal planets can show if this “letting go” will be good or bad. Cancer season: It’s a very emotional time like even more than Pisces season and Scorpio season lmao! It’s about home and comfort it’s about reflecting on the past even if it’s been 10 years. It’s the return of old lovers and the return of past habits and patterns. It’s you meeting the new you and seeing how much you’ve grown as a person! It’s that healthy emotional release! You’ll find yourself crying over things you’ve been over and you’ll also find yourself more distant and that if a homebody during this period!! People with positive aspects will grow a lot during this period maybe even become much more of a happier soul during this time! While those with the harsher ones especially if it’s to their natal moon might find themselves more in a depressive state or even just outright ignoring what cancer season is trying to do to them! But that being said you can’t really escape 😂. Sexual and emotional frustration run RAMPANT so this is also a time where flings start but also a very sexually active time due to how emotional fulfillment becomes tied to sex during this time. Leo season: Leo season is about drama! Lots of it aha. You may find that there’s a lot more tea being spilt and not in the “mysterious unsheathed” way like Scorpio but more in a dramatic and Worldly way! A way that draws attention! You’ll notice that you’re more confident and sharp during this time! Putting more time into yourself and loving what you’ve got! Romance is in the air! This is the end of flings and the start of something more teenage and childlike! It’s honest and curious! People are more blunt during this time and have an ego about them without realizing! People sure do have energy during this time though and aren’t afraid to make daring moves that they normally wouldn’t have. Virgo season: This season is about the earth! Surprisingly themes like global warming, drought, forest fires, animal relocation become very important during this time! Even stuff regarding earth itself from the view of space or in relation to other planets will be more spoken upon during this time! People are more quiet during Virgo season—passive and without much strife, it’s a season that most people take to become beauty gurus or even just focusing on their own health and maybe being even more critical of the health of others. Fashion and clothing are thought about conceptually rather then manifested which happens more in libra season. People may opt out of heavy makeup looks during this time and go natural! It’s a vulnerable season in a earthy way. And it’s a much easier time for people to help others without really giving it much thought.Libra season: Another romance season but more or so about the idea of it rather than actually being in one lmao. It can be hard to decide on something permanent this season and can be even harder to assert yourself mainly because the sun is uncomfortable here more so than any other sign; the sun likes to assert himself but in the presence of libra he loses the ability to do so in the way he likes. So people are a tad awkward this season but that’s fine since this season is about companionship and relationships both platonic and romantic that we form with others and nurturing that bond. Libra season is very peaceful and relaxed people don’t outwardly show their feelings which can make it a bit superficial emotionally but despite that their is a level of respect and manners that come during this season! Scorpio season: Ah Scorpio season its a very mysterious one! This is where we focus on the shadows! Every single one of us become fascinated with knowing the truth or what is out of our grasp! People can be more bit picky and intrusive and might start to dig and pry a bit to much. Scandals and lies tend to come out during this time especially with Jupiter in Scorpio to match. This is a time where things you normally able to leave alone may become obsessions now. Sex can be the theme of this season but more in the “how and why” sex is being used or occurs. This season everyone can be in edge and slightly dark! This season has to do a lot with truth and it often presents the question of wether or not those you surround yourself or even you is being truthful. Sagittarius season: Sagittarius season can feel warm! Exciting even! It’s a time where we feel limitless and free like we can do anything and everything! But that being said it’s also a time where we question life! It’s a time where we ponder and seek independence to figure things out! It can be a time of dissociation and self discovery but also a time of developing the lack of or the abundance of your own morals! Wether you’re harshly aspected or positively aspected in respect to whatever planet doesn’t matter as much here since Sagittarius is a benevolent planet! The main risk here is that you might run the risk of overindulging in something or someone if you’re not careful. Capricorn season: There’s two layers to this season. There’s layer one which occurs during the 1st decan of Capricorn which is Christmas time! This is the tender aspect! This is the slight level of responsibility we feel over our families and close loved ones to make them happy on that special day! It’s our willingness to help those who may not have anything and are desire to be kind to those we might not even know! Then comes Decan two and three which I like to call layer two of cap season which is the more intense part! Money matters and bills can pop up! It’s the recovery period where you have to face the consequences of what you’ve spent money on and your choices leading up to it! It’s when everything hits you in the face and feels like a month long hangover. People can disappear during this time and might grow a bit more somber. Aquarius season: This season can be hard to feel, you might not even notice it’s happening and that’s the point! Aqua season feels like “nothing” you’re not feeling much you’re not romancing the past or pondering on things you’re just living. It’s a time of dissociation and mental dexterity! Your mind is quick and even intuitive during this time! You want stimulation in a cerebral fashion and may be harder to reach with emotions during this time. This season is all about detachment, living in the moment and for the moment and nothing else! People are both chill during this time and even above there more messier emotions! Since this is an air season and the last one at that this can also be a time where electronics or media channels and or places either announce they’ll be shutting down or that they’ll be discontinuing their work and so on—this is also a time where new technology is either spoken on introduced! Usually in tandem with Gemini season. Pisces season:So we are currently in this one! So for starters Pisces season is intense it’s the last water season and it’s the last season of the previous year that walks into the present year so this can be overwhelming energy for most because it’s all of the year coming to an end! People can dream a lot during this time, vivid dreams. People can have moments of deja vu and even find themselves thinking about things from the year prior mainly because it’s as if everything is coming full circle. You’ll feel older during this season and might even start to slowly but surely feel like a snake shedding skin and abandon old habits and patterns previously plaguing you. As you’ll notice this is a more emotional time so sex is less of a focus here and intimacy is more of a priority! You might daydream more and even more so you might detach from situations more often! It’s a more simplistic moment in time without all the loud Noise. It’s about introspection and finally getting yourself ready for the new you that’ll come in Aries season. Hope this helps! And as a note aspects being made to your personal planets during these seasons Is important to look at as it gives you insight as to how that particular season will affect you! Example Aries season will square my sun Conjunct my moon and sextile my venus but it will square my mars and ascendant. My ego will be a little harder to express during this time and I might feel a bit more tension. And it’ll be a bit harder to properly assert myself(mars) during this time of even how I am perceived to others(ascendant) But emotionally ill feel great and might even have a complete make over on an emotional level and my sense of self and love nature might feel more free and relaxed during Aries season and so on!