#LTTGoT

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S7E1: Dragonstone. Welcome back to Westeros.

The jig is up.  I’m still blogging, even though I’m no longer late to the Game of Thrones. Now I’m just one more cableless millennial clogging up the internet on Sunday nights to get my fix.

But what a fix it was! Despite being essentially a recap of where everyone was and who they had beef with, this episode seemed to set up some good things to come.

I take back everything I say about the faceless men. The story was a pain to watch, but if it led to that opening scene, which filled me with glee about as soon as I realized I hadn’t accidentally clicked on an episode from years ago. Damn, that girl gets a job DONE! Very much looking forward to seeing her murderous future - even if the confusing cameo of Ed Sheeran and his crew didn’t believe her.

Glad to see the Lannisters falling apart.  Jaime seems to have come to the same conclusion I did in my last post: no one likes the Lannisters. Well, at least no one likes Cersei Lannister. Not even Jaime, anymore. I would bet. She’s becoming more delusional and obsessed with power every day. And her only ally is a vile sea captain with a history of treachery. Go team.

Other highlights?  More Lady Mormont. The Hound continues to be haunted by his past. Sansa realizes that she may be bent on revenge for good reason, but that does not a respected leader make (although honestly Jon the woman has some valid points). Sam breaks the rules for the greater good. Daenerys proves she can make a dramatic entrance as well as she can a dramatic exit. 

Dragonstone is a pretty impressive castle. It always looked so gloomy when Stannis there, but he has that effect on things. If I were Daenerys, I’d give up the King’s Landing dream and settle in at Dragonstone. Then again, I couldn’t amass an army of nomadic horse warriors, liberated slaves, or disgruntled sailors, so she and I are very different people. And her kind of people make for a more exciting television series.

[latetothegameofthrones]

S6E10: The Winds of Winter. All caught up and no place to go.

Here we are, six seasons later. 

Now I know the pain of actually having to wait to see what comes next.  I got very used to having the next episode just a click away. That’s going to be a frustrating adjustment as I start watching along with the masses.

And honestly, as far as what comes next... I have no idea. It looks like season 7 is going to be different in more ways than previous ones.  Dothraki sailing the seas. Ice zombies seeping into the north. No more Lannister bloodline.

This episode was so disorienting.  I cringed when Loras was receiving his sentence. I balked at the explosion that took out both the Sparrows and the Tyrells - could Cersei have really gotten her way? 

I am ashamed to say it, but I laughed when Tommen finally made a decision for himself. Not because it was funny - it wasn’t - but partially because I was still reeling from the emotions of watching half the characters explode and partially because, no, Cersei did not get her way. How deep does my hatred for her run, that it causes me to laugh at a young man’s suicide?  Cersei makes everything worse, even my emotional intelligence.

Another observation - I couldn’t help but notice how drastically the story has flipped for women in this universe. Whether they be good or evil, ladies are calling a lot of the shots.  Cersei back on the Iron Throne. Daenerys casting aside her lover to sail to Westeros - with ships under Yara’s command. Mama Sand Snake of Dorne teaming up with Grandma Tyrell for what will be a most dramatic revenge plot. Up north, it’s hard to tell who exactly is in charge, since Jon seems to have been elected king. But still, Lady Sansa is back in her rightful home (and in the rightful way, not as a torture victim). Plus I have big hopes for feisty Lady Mormont.  Then there are the free agents Brienne and Arya, who can roam around Westeros and slice up their enemies through the coming turmoil. 

#GirlPower. Or will these become cases of #AbsolutePowerCorruptsAbsolutely?

Honestly, I look forward to this new everyone-vs-the-lannisters adventure we’re embarking on. Plus, every crew now has a rational, likeable second-in-command:  Davos up north, Varys in Dorne, Tyrion with the Iron Dragons. I hope this leads to good strategy and smart diplomacy, and that these guys aren’t forced to turn on each other.  But who am I kidding?

Plus, can’t forget about the small issue of Winter.  Bundle up, bitches.

[latetothegameofthrones]

S5E6: Unbowed, unbent, unbroken. But otherwise falling to pieces.

First, about the House of Black and White: FINALLY, the thing from the poster with all the heads!  Arya is allowed into the cavern of faces upkept by the faceless men. I wish I had more information about what the hell it was but all I can assume it’s some library of dead faces ripe for the borrowing.  Pleasant. Arya seems more informed than I feel though so... good for her.

As for the other stark sister... what a horrendous episode.  Every cell in by body was screaming for Theon to snap back into himself, grab a candlestick and just beat the living crap out of Ramsay. Then he could explain everything to Sansa and they could escape into night - maybe run north to find Jon? Maybe find Bran who I can only assume is still chilling with those underground root faeries? Though if I were Sansa I would be just SO finished with men - be they protectors, fiancés, lords. Here’s hoping she’s more receptive the next time Brienne comes around.

And as gruesomely horrible as that Winterfell scene was, things in Kings’s Landing aren’t going much better.  The Tyrells, despite being royalty, seem royally screwed. Who will King’s Landing side with - it-girl Queen Margery? Longstanding palace parasite Cersei? Will Tommen finally put his foot down or has the no-fun-allowed religious militia taken over for good?

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S6E9: Battle of the Bastards. Exactly the doozy of a ninth episode I’ve been waiting for.

Daeneyrs doesn’t disappoint when it comes to budget-busting badassery. Standing ovations to all involved in the defence of Mereen. A tactical and theatrical success the likes of which could never be so coordinated in real life. Then again, it involved dragons setting fire to an armada, so real life is out the window regardless.

I’m already itching for next season’s episode nine, when we see Daenerys and Yara side-by-side, fighting fuelled by their unified (justified) distrust of men.

Now for the other major battle and Ramsay’s horrible mind games. His baiting scheme with Rickon the Forgettable was really twisted, but, can I just say it - also really transparent. I know Jon hasn’t dealt much with Ramsay but he literally ran right into the trap. I’m disappointed, and also a bit ashamed of myself for being disappointed in someone trying to save their brother’s life. But honestly, Jon is a TOTAL Gryffindor and I don’t mean that in a good way.

Anyway, what follows is a battle almost unbearably long, full of so many super-close shots of blood-and-mud-covered-dudes that I honestly couldn’t tell who  was winning. Until it became clear the good guys were losing.

At which point Little Finger shows up to the rescue - not sure how I feel about this. but hey, it means a few more Starks survive.

You know who didn’t survive? That giant that busted them into Winterfell.  I was weirdly super emotional about that. He fought so well! He stomped on so many flayed men! Back when giants were attacking the north wall i was cheering for their deaths -  what is going on in this universe? I guess alliance-switching happens on both sides of the screen.

There was one death I was cheering for - Ramsay’s.  Though it would have sucked for his former victims. I wish he had trained those dogs to half-eat a person over and over again for months. And that still wouldn’t have been enough for such a bastard of a bastard. 

[latetothegameofthrones]

S6E8: No one. The amount of people who will shed a tear for Cersei Lannister.

Before we dive into my feelings about mother-of-the-year Cersei, I have to address something closer to my heart: How many times must Arya watch the people she is closest to get murdered? She couldn’t just run off with the theatre troupe and live a happy, ramshackle, booze-infused life?

I am happy that she did run off though, and tell the bewildering and twisted Joaquin Phoenix where to stuff it. What a useless plot line. I was so into the mystery of the House of Black and White but turns out a mystery that refuses to explain itself is just a waste of everyone’s time. Now I understand why every mystery novel has that last chapter where someone explains what was happening the whole time. I used to hate that, but maybe I should give mystery novels another shot.

Back to the topic of running off: I was very sad to see Tyion and Varys part ways. Their friendly banter was such a warm complement to this falling-to-shit universe.  But, when the universe taketh away, the universe giveth back, so Mereen loses Varys but gains back the Mother of Dragons.  Now that she’s a full-blown Khaleesi again, I’m looking forward to seeing how the Dothraki settle into Mereen. You know, renting out apartments, shopping at the market... are the fighting pits open or closed? I’ve lost track. They might like that.  Have I just discovered a lucrative spin-off series?

Now to the big news in the other big city: trial by combat has been outlawed!   While I hate the idea of a king being manipulated by evil religious overlords, I love the idea of Cersei getting her due. Her long-overdue due. And also, I love the idea of a world where having a friend who’s great a murdering people does not make you morally superior or incapable of wrongdoing. Call me old-fashioned.

Do other people hate Cersei as much as I do?  I have heard other fans cheering for her but just... why? Am I missing something? She has no appealing qualities as far I can tell.  She’s not even good or smart at being horrible. Let’s hope these new laws of the land put her in her place - whilst I continue to live in this place of wishful thinking.

[latetothegameofthrones]

S6E7: The Broken Man. As if there were only one.

This episode felt like generally, a lot of plans being made.  We’re nearing the end of a season so I guess I should be bracing myself for another doozy of a ninth episode.

But first, let’s go back to the opening moments - the Hound is still alive? (Also, is he the titular broken man?) Sucks for Arya, since she’ll need to amend her list (more on her later...). But I never really hated the Hound that much. Terrible person, sure, but he’s seen his share of terrible too. I mean, talk about sibling rivalry - although I guess he’s winning now that his brother is a Frankenstein robot being. I was into his weird peaceful cult storyline, but since they were all shortly murdered I guess all that’s in store for him is more wandering vengeance. 

Speaking of which, loving the Greyjoy breakaway and their plans to team up with the Mother of Dragons. (Note: Or is Theon, whose emotional scars outweigh even his physical ones, the broken man mentioned above?) I have hope for the new generation in Westeros. Since all their parents were violent and unstable, should they not be motivated to make this made-up-world a better place? Like Sansa and Jon (Broken man contender #3? Although he was put back together with great magical success) visiting little Lady Mormont. Hell, she’s basically a toddler and I’d still follow her into battle! Between her, Yara, Daenerys, Brienne, the newly-empowered Sansa - there are a LOT of young bad-ass ladies around. 

Let’s hope Arya can also be counted among them, since she appears to be a potential murder victim - I’ve got all my fingers crossed that she pulls through, like she has so many times before. Seems the faceless men REALLY want her to become no one, by any means necessary. 

Learn from Arya! Learn from the Hound! Joining a cult almost always involves some kind of messy death.

[latetothegameofthrones]

S6E6: Blood of my Blood. Kids will be kids.

So, Tommen the meek and suggestible has finally forsaken his family.  I can’t tell who had the most to do with swaying him - the manipulative priest, or his hot queen wife - but the Lannisters are losing grip on their last chance at the seat of power. Frankly in this case I don’t think the heads of church OR the heads of state are fit to rule, so it’s not exactly like things are getting better. But I’m glad the Tyrells have lived to see another day - especially Grandma Tyrell. She should really be running that town.

Besides Tommen, Sam also had his moment of rebellion. Damn, he complained about his Dad in pervious episodes, but wow, what a miserable guy. So it’s Sam and Gilly and Sam Jr. against the world again! But this time, with a sword! Sam’s another person I think should be running something. That’s actually the root problem of this whole universe, isn’t it? Everyone in charge of everything is the opposite of who ought to be running the place.

And Arya seems to be rebelling in the the other direction, forsaking her promise to forsake her family. I’m SO glad needle is back in the picture! I thought for sure she had chucked that thing into the ocean or something. When she slapped that poison out of the actress’s hand, I cheered - there’s her fire back! And now she’s on fire, and also has a sword! May all these good hearted souls succeed in their sword-wielding futures.

[latetothegameofthrones]

S6E5: The Door. Into everyone’s past. That no one asked for.

There was A LOT of confrontation going on in this episode.  Daenerys has to figure out how she feels about Jorah, her on-again-off-again loyalservant/fatherfigure/secretadmirer. Sansa comes face-to-face with Little Finger, who weirdly fits the exact same description.

And Arya gets a glimpse into the goings-on of King’s Landing through a theatre performance. Which. while it made a few well-placed cracks at Joffrey, must have been really devastating when the plot became a reenactment of basically the worst day of her life - not without horrible portrayals of her father and sister.

(side note: sometimes I forget that Arya left King’s Landing so early. She and Sansa might be completely different people, but they’re still sisters. And the two of them, from that day, were ripped apart, neither knowing if the other’s alive - not to mention the unimaginable shit they’ve each lived through to stay alive themselves.)

But, obviously, these glimpses into the past pale in comparison to the literal one that Hodor lived through, via Bran. I’ve never liked Bran or the whole three-eyed-raven plot, but this episode really takes the cake. Brans’ badness at having superpowers caused not only the destruction of the ancient underground tree people, but also he managed to kill Hodor while simultaneously traumatizing him back in his childhood! I’ve always been very not-okay with Bran possessing Hodor’s mind to get him to do his bidding, but now I get that obviously he had to because why on earth would Hodor help out the guy who randomly appeared in his childhood brains, implanting visions of his own terrible death at the hands of ice-zombies? 

Most of Bran’s screen-time is utterly miserable but I expect he will be extra-miserable for a while, and frankly, he deserves it. Curious what the long-term effects will be on Bran of this childhood trauma of having caused that other childhood trauma. Let the cycle of trauma continue!

[latetothegameofthrones]

S6E3: Oathbreaker. Various leaders lose their leads.

Can you imagine the feeling of coming back to life after having been murdered? I can’t. Jon Snow has been through some shit before but really - walking back out to Castle Black and having to be like “Hey, you all literally hated me enough to stab me to death. Just because I was doing the right thing. But here I am.” To be so fundamentally disagreed with as to be murdered - wow. I don’t blame him for abdicating the Lord Commandership, which seems to be the definition of a thankless job. Plus, his right-hand-Sam’s not there anymore, so where’s the fun in that?

Then, as Cersei struggles to lead an empire vicariously through her wimpy teenage son, she fails. Another leader down.

And on the subject of blonde queens - Danaerys isn’t in a great spot either. Seems she will either be the prisoner of old Dothraki women for life, or possibly killed. Frankly I think she’d prefer the latter. As much as I’m rooting for her I’m still very enthralled by the Empire of Mereen under the capable and banter-filled rule of Tyrion and Varys, so I’m not overly stressed.

And just as a side-note about a character who has never ruled a thing - what the hell is going on with Arya? The people without faces seem to have been training her as a blind fighting machine, but then Joaquin Pheonix tells her to drink from the well that kills people so they can have their faces harvested? What the hell? House of “Black and White” my ass.

[latetothegameofthrones]

S6E2: Home. Where the politcal uncertainty is.

So, as we make our way into season two I guess this episode was mainly a recap of where all the various journeys are headed and how the multiple empires are faring? And the verdict is.. they’re basically all exactly as they were.

EXCEPT ONE - in the ultra-surprising un-twisting of the show’s twistiest plot twist, Jon Snow is NOT dead. At least, his eyes opened there in the epsiode’s final seconds.  All my fingers are crossed he’s actually “not dead” as opposed to the way so many things in this show are “undead” - an important distinction. If so, the Red Woman, (who, in another twist, I’m actually very happy did not doom herself to perish in her bed) has finally proved her worth and made up for all her stupid shenanigans of seasons past. At first, this literal deus ex machina seemed like a cop-out, but once again, I had to remind myself - basically nothing in this show would be interesting without magic. So if that’s what they need to do to keep Jon Snow on screen, I’ll allow it.

Back to things that are exactly the same: Bran is still chillin’ under that tree, but for all the real-world travel he’s missing out on, I guess time travel is a fair trade.

King’s Landing continues to be controlled by creepy religious overlords. Meanwhile, Tyrion is trying out his diplomacy skills on dragons (another form of magic I’ll deign to allow) Him freeing the dragons was one of the most heart-pounding scenes yet. If he dies, I’m so out. Unless they send the Red Woman in again for a game-saver. 

And just when Theon decides to go back home, turns out the Iron Islands are in a time of political turmoil and family in-fighting.  What else is new? Like the dysfunctional, gnarled, rotting family trees wresting control of Kings Landing, Winterfell, and Dorne, weren’t enough? Welcome home indeed.

[latetothegameofthrones]

S6E1: The Red Woman. In which I get over (most of) my over-reaction from the end of season 5.

Okay, so I might have been a bit overboard in my apocalyptic outbursts during the last post. Not everyone is dead. 

Arya is still alive. Although she has become apparently blind, poor, and is getting attacked in the streets. So my heart still goes out to her.

Sansa is also alive, and FINALLY under the protection of Brienne - that scene was very lucky timing for Sansa, and for me, it felt like a big exhale after having waited three(?) seasons for the moment they joined forces. Best of girl power to them both.

And then in Mereen, the queen may be missing but I’m personally cheered by the thought of a city with Tyrion and Varys in charge. Even though it looks like they’ve got their work cut out for them, I’m holding out for some MK&A style montages of their progress as they build an empire as BFFs.  Plus I trust that Daenerys will be fine. She seems in trouble for the moment but she’s won over hordes of Dothraki before and I’m sure she’ll do it again. Any chance she’s got another dragon egg to hatch in a fiery performance piece?

One final note: when I looked up the episode title, I wondered why on earth t was called “The Red Woman” and then I remembered. I always thought she was freakishly good looking but now that I know there was literal magic involved, well that’s a little boost to my personal self esteem.  So why take it off?  Did she climb into bed and reserve herself to death, finally realizing she’s had one too many people burned at the stake? Here’s hoping. Now I just need to get my hands on that necklace...

[latetothegameofthrones]

S5E10: Mother’s Mercy. Mother have mercy on us all.

Wow.

Oh my lord.

There are no words. But here are a few anyway:

If I didn’t see it already listed to watch next on TMN GO, I would seriously doubt there was a sixth season. Because, what’s the point? Everything sucks. Everyone died.

A great symbolic marker for my feelings on this episode is the moment between Jaime and his blonde neice-daughter on the ship. I thought she was pretty useless, until she confessed that she knew who Jaime was to her and was actually quite sweet and mature about the whole thing.  At this point, I actually said out loud:

“Hey, I like this kid.  Though that makes me nervous, because it probably means she’s going to die soon.”

And then, SHE LITERALLY BEGAN TO DIE right there, in that very moment.  I mean - I know by now I’ve kinda got this show’s number but COME ON.

Turns out I don’t have this show’s number as well as I thought I did because who knew they could create an episode so terribly unfair to any and all good characters left in the world?

Our last view of Arya was her face exploding in the hall of a million faces.

Our last view of Sansa and Theon (who thank god seems to have snapped back to himself a bit) was of them jumping off a building to escape Ramsay. Part of me wonders whether they are escaping for real or just escaping to their own deaths because they also just killed someone else by throwing them off the same building - foreshadowing? Or am I reading into this? I am 50% sure they are both dead but can’t even blame them because an escape of any form from Ramsay is a step up in the world.

Our last view of Daenerys, after escaping death in the most dramatic way possible, saw her getting kidnapped in the most dramatic way possible. 

And our last view of Jon, which broke my heart, was of his lifeless body, murdered for nothing less than being a good dude.  I have officially lost any faith about good things to come for good people in this series. I’m just full of sad.

Another symbolic marker of how bummed this episode made me?  I can’t even properly enjoy Cersei’s walk of shame. Finally, she gets what she deserves.  And yet, somehow, so many others got so much worse.

[latetothegameofthrones]

S5E9: The dance of dragons. Fire, fire, everywhere.

Weird parallels happening here between the terrible power of flame and the strength of parental bonds.

Let’s start with one of the low points of this show as a whole - the moment Stannis entered my bad books forever (I feel like I’ve said the same thing before but this time I MEAN IT!). Once again, the unctuously persuasive red woman insists on the power of burning people alive - this time, not just any people, but his own daughter!!

Not that their relationship has been ideal up to this moment, what with the whole “locked away in a tower’ thing she had to deal with. But I didn’t think he would do it. And then he did. And the scene on for an uncomfortably long period of time, as it would, I assume, if something just as terrible happened in real life and not on the frozen northern front of Westeros.

My first reaction was to wish Davos had been there to stop it. But obviously he couldn’t have stopped it because no one in that entourage ever listens to logic or reason, instead crumbling at the whims of the fickle fire-god.  So instead, I’m glad he missed it. But he is going to be sooooooooooooo mad.

Then, on the other side of the world, we see the mother of dragons in a rare bonding moment with her attitude-laden adolescent dragon-son. Here, we see fire put to excellent use, in one of the most tense scenes yet. I was sure they wouldn’t kill off the series’ beloved Khaleesi, but man it sure looked like it for a moment.

For someone who gained most of her power by touting the fact that she commands three all-powerful dragons, while in reality she has two chained-up basement dwellers and one missing lone wolf - that was really convenient timing for both her life and her image. And a much better use of fire than the other instance in this episode. And an incredibly dramatic exit, though I’ve come to expect nothing less from the Queen of Mereen.

[latetothegameofthrones]

S5E8 - Hardhorne. When hell freezes over.

This episode was a nice reality check on the pitiful nature of human-on-human squabbles.  While Stannis and Ramsay strategize to win the right to live in the ruins of Winterfell, real actual hell breaks loose north of the wall in one of the most eipc battle scenes yet.

I’m discomforted to know that the white walkers aren’t just a lumbering band of bloodthirsty ice-men. It seems they have an organized army, the commanders of which are freakishly well-kempt and tastefully dressed - for undead ice creatures. And their army, like most concentrations of the undead, is growing. Full marks to Jon Snow’s optimism but he’s going to need more than just the wildlings on his side. And that’s if they’re not all tuned into walkers by the next episode.

Really makes everything else seem petty. Though there are two new developments south of the wall that I’m interested to see through - provided everyone involved does not become an icicle. First, Arya’s faceless training. Second, the Tyrion-Daenerys alliance. Very happy to see neither of them killed the other. Very curious to see what will inevitably kill them each instead.

[latetothegameofthrones]

S5E7 - The gift. In which Cersei gets what she deserves.

This episode had a few disappointments, such as Sansa’s failed escape and Ramsay’s living up to his flayed-man sigil. But I won’t dwell on them, as I’m absolutely gleeful to see Cersei locked up at last.

I will state that I’m still not super into the militarized militia ruling King’s Landing, because that sort of thing never goes well. However, for all my sadness that the Tyrells are locked up, it’s almost worth it to see one thing, finally, not going Cersei’s way.

Seriously, though, she has sinned more than anyone in that city, and she thought this was a good idea? Back to the only matter on which Tywin and I ever agreed - she’s really not as smart as she gives herself credit for.

So, with her brothers both across the narrow sea and in captivity... let’s see how the last Lannister standing does from the way-too-big-for-him iron Throne.

[latetothegameofthrones]

S5E5: Kill the boy. And everyone else, too.

This was a very north-centric episode, with a lot of talk at the wall about what’s going on even farther north: gaining wildlings as allies, investigating how exactly dragonglass was able to kill the unkillable ice zombies, etc. You’d think everyone would listen to Sam more considering he’s the only one who has murdered one of these things that are constantly referred to as the most dangerous threat facing all mankind.

But, obsessed with mortal-man’s petty power struggles, Stannis decides to head to the not-quite-so-north Winterfell. I wasn’t big on Stannis when we first met him, but seeing as most other rational leadership options have died, he’s better than the Boltons. Go Stannis.

What’s will happen to Sansa at that Winterfell battle?  Will Stannis accept her as Ned Stark’s daughter, as he respected Jon?  Will she be executed as part of the Bolton clan?  Will she be rescued by Brienne in time? 

Also, my prediction of Sansa and Theon running into each other came to life this episode. Sansa seems to have the same conflicted feelings toward him as I do - first, he was a pretty cool dude, then he became and entitled, bratty, horrible, child-murderer (as far as she knows).  And now he’s the pathetic, pitiful shell of those two former people. 

Speaking of the shells of former people, the only thing of note outside the north was the introduction of yet another kind of zombie, the stone men that attacked Tyrion and Jorah in the boat. Great, as if there weren’t enough ways to die in this world.  And Jorah pulls the classic zombie movie move of not admitting he’s been contaminated. Real smart.  Although, they were just labouring the point that Stannis’ daughter was cured of greyscale, so who knows, maybe that was leading somewhere. 

Or maybe this show will just devolve to a world where every human is dead and we’ll watch the ice zombies and stone men battle it out to rule the earth - if they can survive being scorched by reincarnated dragon race, that is.