#LOCKED IN A MOUNTAIN TOWER BY HIS FAM

[killuaisaprincess]

❤️💕👑🎀💕❤️

[artisticestheticreads]

Summertime Magic (II)

A/N: I do apologize for such a late fic but real life been kicking me in the ass. In this part, we get a little of Y/N and N’Jadaka getting to know one another while Y/N does is hair.

No warning but I recommend listening to “Close to You” by Dreezy ft. T-Pain

To Catch Up, PRESS HERE.

   It was Thursday afternoon when Y/N was in the middle of feed in cornrows on her client's coarse hair. She wore a black bleach tie-dye crop top with high waisted jean shorts. “So, girl I was telling my dude, like, ya boy is tryna fuck with my friend and what not and his ass gonna tell me so.” Y/N said, “wait, don’t his nigga got a girl though?” Her client clapped her hands between every word. “Exactly, bih. His girl just gave birth to their baby girl, too.” Y/N placed some gel on her part to smooth down flyaways. 

“Trifling. Niggas are something else I swear. But speaking of, how you and Monte”, Y/N asked as she started braiding a small braid in between the two thicker ones. Her customer smiled before speaking “beside his baby mama, we good. He a pain but he my pain. We actually moving soon.” Y/N nodded asking “where to?” She turned to face Y/N. “The Valley. Says it’s closer to his job.” The look on Leslie’s face was very sad but Y/N only grinned. They knew each other since high school and was apart of the same clique. “Finally, getting out of the hood, I see. Leaving me behind and shit. I see how it is”, Y/N said in a playful tone causing Leslie to smack her thick thigh.

   “Hursh. I’ll still come down to visit and whatever. You know I’m not gonna trust in upitty crackas in my hair. Hell no. I’ll make that long ass commute to get here. But what up with you though?” She smiled as she got another piece of hair to place in Leslie’s hair. “Nothing much. Met a guy yesterday. Kinda cute. Got some nice muscle tone and all. His name is N’Jadaka. He coming tomorrow so I can do his dreads for him.” Leslie turned slightly to look in her face. “Oh really? You got a pic? I need to see if I approve.” Y/N rolled her eyes laughing and showed Leslie the picture; her eye’s bugged out. “Oweeee, how you doing, Mr. Man!? Best friend, that man finer than a muthafucka. Wait, he coming here?” 

Y/N nodded as she placed some styling mousse on her hands to smooth over her friend’s hair. “He will be here tomorrow at 11 am.” Leslie looked at her friend up and down and said “aight miss thing. Don’t get in trouble now.” She took the money out of her bra and handed it to her. “You better come to out going away party, heffa. Its next week so ad it to ya calendar.” Leslie hugged Y/N’s fluffy body and was on her way out before Y/N locked the door.

THE NEXT DAY

  Y/N got out the shower feeling amazing after exfoliating, shaving and oiling her whole thick body while listening to Daniel Caesar. She went into her closet to grab a cute, wine shade romper that complimented her skin tone. Her locs were in a huge bun and had her baby hairs in a wave shape against her smooth skin. Her phone buzzed from a text from N’Jadaka.

N’Jadaka: I’m outside. 

  She smiled and went to the window as he pulled up. Y/N pulled back the cream curtains to his navy blue Impala park in her driveway. As soon as he stepped out, her mouth parted slowly to her jaw-dropping on the floor. He was in a navy blue short sleeve that clung to every muscle and his smooth caramel skin. Gray sweat pants that displayed his thick thighs and navy blue Air Force Ones that completed the outfit. His hair was tossed to the right messily and his dimples were in full display when he noticed Y/N was watching with his back turned; she dodged his stare and stayed away from the door.

*Knock, knock, knock*

   Y/N opened the door with a smile. “Hey, it’s nice to see you again. Did you find the way okay?” She stood to the side as his tower-like frame strolled in looking down at her. “Yeah, I’m usually good with direction. How you doin’? You aight”, he asked with a smirk across his lips, flashing the white smile of his. Y/N nodded, totally spaced out by his charm. “I’m good. Ya ready?” She led him to a chair which had a hair wash bowl connected to it. N’Jadaka clapped his hands as he remembered something. He handed her a black tinned bag and she took it from him. “I was by the store and just thought you would the snacks you had the other.” Y/N blushed as he sat down and she placed a cape onto him with a towel wrapped around his neck; he lied back as she ran the lukewarm water. “So, how long you’ve been doing hair?”

“Eh, I started in eighth grade when my friend’s mom had her own shop. We used to watch her ever since we were way younger. It got crowded, clients and walk-ins were waiting but everyone was swamped so I ask if I can help. Ms. Witherspoon said go ahead and I did. I asked each one what they wanted and did what they asked. Washed, blow-dried, some cornrows for the ones getting extensions”, she said as she began washing his scalp. His eyes were closed shut and she noticed his incredible lashes. “So, Y/N was a baby hustle?” She giggled and said “yah, pretty much. Then I got a job there as the hair washer and assistant to her mom. My folks weren’t really up for it. They wanted me to enjoy my childhood but then I told them how much I would be making and with me being the oldest, I wanted to help out.”

 N’Jadaka nodded as her hands worked their magic through his locs. He hummed in relaxation as her fingertips massaged his scalp slowly. The voice of Dreezy the singer added more to the session as her she got the right amount of lather and suds. She was humming to the lyrics watching him. He looked so relaxed, so sweet. Her eyes watched his lips as mouthed off ‘fuck’ and ‘shit’ to his self. She had to snap out of it. “So, N’Jadaka. You have a very interesting name. Where is it from?” He chuckled flashing his smile, making her weak in the knees. “It’s African. My fam is from Wakanda besides my moms.” She rinsed his hair out and sitting him up. “Hav you ever been there? I’ve seen only the bad in Africa online and some shit.”

“Nah, nah. It’s beautiful especially Wakanda. When the sun sets, it’s amazing. The tint of the colors blended just makes you forget about everything that’s so fucked up with the world. When I visit, I just sit the mountain and my older cousin likes to sit with me. We talk about our childhood together.” Y/N smiled at his face lighting up and helped him walk to the chair. She walked ahead of him as he began tossing his hair and towel drying it watching her wide hips move side to side. He eased into the chair as she got the hot oil treatment ready. 

She wrapped a clean towel around his neck with a new cape before going into a shelf next to her hair area. She bent her knees with her behind close to the floor as she looked for the oil to warm up with the glass container. Soon the oil was hot enough and she went back to him with a smile on her lips; she began. “So, what made you move out here? From the sound of it, Wakanda sounds like a paradise.” She heard him take a deep breath before he explained. “Ya see, Y/N. I’m not like the people there. I was born out here, I’m from here. Them folks out there saw through that shit once my Unc. They only accepted me when they realized I was related to people who were a big deal.”

  After the treatment, she grabbed a locking moisturizer that didn’t cause build-up and began the tiring process. “Y/N, what you got planned for tomorrow? My boy got a housewarming party and it’s a 90′s theme. All my boys bringing they ladies and all. I know we just met and all but by the way you move, you be a great dance partner.” She rolled her eyes at the thought. “Not really the party type.” She heard him chuckling as he said: “shit, neither am I but it’s my boy.” She was standing to his left, still sectioning and twisting when he looked at her thick thighs. So plump, so soft looking. “Well, why me? I know you got flocks of girls throwing themselves at you. Choose one of them then”, she stated.

   N’Jadaka side up to her and admitted: “Yeah, I do but I ain’t interested in them at all.” This made her eyes fall to his. Was he being serious, she thought. Why her out all of the women in Los Angeles. The women he had thrown at him would probably be model sized. Tiny waists, long legs, thin thighs and all. She strolled around like she was confident but on the inside, she was always battling herself. She had to cry many tears, mend her broken heart and put on her big girl (no pun attended) lace panties to feel as she was can compete with those types of broads. Y/N’s train of thought came back to the track when she felt his hand on her calf. “Y/N, you gotta come. You can’t be a homebody forever. If you think I had ya back at the liquor store, then trust me. C’mon and come with me. I show you a good time.” He was caressing her thigh the whole time as he spoke and it made her feel some type of way, the good way. She sighed, wiggled her leg gently out his grasp and said “maybe. I’ll think about it, young man.”

   N’Jadaka chuckled as he sat back, head straight forward. “ Well, little one. Once you done with my hair, I better have an answering or I’ll do it myself”, he said with a fold of his muscular arms. Y/N rolled her eyes with a crooked smile as she continued. They shared a few laughs and smiles here and there then she twisted hs fresh dreads into two braids; the also exchanged social media networks. She passed him the mirror so that he can get a look. “Daaaaaaaayummmmm, this shit is nice as hell. Baby Girl, those hands of yours are like magic”, he stood and gave her a nice hug. She was taken back but when her hands fell on his smooth back, she melted into him like ice cream on a burning hot day like this one. The smell of musk and spices filled her nostrils as she lingered on. 

   N’Jadaka look down at her and asked “ya good, little one.” When her eyes opened, she realized that he had let go a long time ago but she still had her arms around his waist. She looked around and then to him. She slid her arms away and said “sorry. Guess I was daydreaming.” He chuckled as they made their way to the door. She placed her hand on the knob, twisting and opening the door but when he walked out he turned and leaned against the threshold with his arms folded again. His brow slowly rose up that made Y/N very confused. “Yes or no” he asked and got back a “huh” from her lips. “Are you going or not” he asked and Y/N folded her arms as well. He chuckled and said “fine. Then I will decide. You are going with me to this party. We will grab something to eat before and after. Party starts at 7:45 so I will be here at 6 on the dot so we can chill for a bit.” 

  Before she got to speak, he placed his hand on her chin and said “be ready by 6, little one. Aight” with a smile that made her knees weak. She nodded and he did the same back. “Ok good. I’ll hit you up later. Here ya go”, he handed a hundred dollar bill into hers but she looked up at him. “You are worth way more than what you charge. Thank me later” and with that, he walked off to his car and drove off with two honks. Y/N slowly closed the door with a sweet grin and made her way to her bedroom. After a nice shower and a good homecooked meal, her Instagram was blowing up with comments, DMs and brand new followers. She went to her page notifications and saw something she was mentioned in; a post by N’Jadaka himself; it made her smile from ear to ear.

~

Ok, so this was long overdue because of real life health and all but I will be posting part III tonight, if not in a few minutes.

𝒯𝒜𝒢𝒢𝐸𝒟 𝐿𝒪𝒱𝐸𝒮

@muse-of-mbaku

@im5ftbutmythroat66

@chaneajoyyy

@melanin-samii

@theunsweetenedtruth

@doux-ciel

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@acceptyourselfloveyourself

@madamslayyy

@yoyolovesbucky

@theogbadbitch

@wakanda-inspired

@bitchacho25

[spooky-raccoon]

Love Struck (Part 1) (Rufo X Reader)

Rufo needs some love fam and I am here to help out the Rufo fandom (even though I haven’t read the books yet but I’m gonna fix that).

I blame the lovely @ihaveaseriousclownproblem for be-stilling these emotions into my soul for another clown monster.  I have no regrets though.

If you are not a fan of the Rufo fic I’ll be posting then go ahead and look at the tags so you’ll know what to block.

         I admit I had been distracted as I made my way down the sidewalk.  I had to review several documents for some clients and was reading a shorter one as I rounded a corner.  My shoulder connected with someone and a few things I was holding went flying.  I heard the grunt of a man when my shoulder hit him as my mind panicked.

         “I am so sorry!”  I quickly knelt down to pick up the things we had both dropped, gathering his things in one hand and mine in the other. “I know I’m stupid for not looking. I really should have.”  His hand had grabbed a few things and he had been grumbling to himself.  My head looked up to him as I spoke, “Again, I’m so-”  

         My words cut off as I looked at his eyes. They were a pale icy blue that were framed by his high cheek bones.  He had long black hair that flowed to his shoulder.  Slowly, he stood back up and so did I.  He towered over me as he was over six feet tall.  My heart was skipping a few beats it seemed.  There was something eerie about him as he glared at me.

         “You were saying?”  He leaned a bit, hooking his thumb into his pocket as he gave me an exasperated look.

         “I’m sorry, sir.”  I could feel the heat on my cheeks from embarrassment and by just looking at him.  “I hope you have a good day, sir.”  I nodded my head in goodbye and quickly turned down the side walk.  I really hoped to see him again, but I doubt he would ever want to see me again.

         Several blocks down was a Starbucks that I usually visited after work to get something to stay awake as I sifted and sorted paperwork. I hadn’t been paying attention to anyone near me or directly behind me as I ordered.  When I could I often would pay for the person behind me by using a re-loadable gift card I kept at the counter that the employees knew about. It was always nice to make someone’s day a little better.  As I grabbed my drank after paying for whoever was behind me I turned.  I would have stopped in my step but that feeling of embarrassment swept over me when we locked eyes briefly.  It was the man from before.  He gave me a sly looking smile as he ordered and when the barista waved his card away, pointing to me as he spoke his smile grew soft.  I usually didn’t mind when people thanked me but before the man could get the chance I rushed out the door.

         I had finally made it home and decided to wait for my day off to deal with the paperwork I had brought home.  Once I was in my fuzzy sleep shorts and a long sleeve shirt I headed to the kitchen to make dinner.  I had thawed out some steaks and a potato soup going in the crock pot. A knock on my door startled me just as I set the pan on the stove.  Walking over to the door I slowly opened it.  There stood the same man from before.

         “You forgot this.”  His hand extended outwards with a few envelopes in his hand.  So that’s how he knew my address. “(Y/N).  Nice name.”  The corner of his mouth twitched into a smile.

         “Thank you.”  I grabbed the envelopes and smiled at him.  “I, uh, never got your name.”  I could feel the same embarrassment feeling coming back to me. How could I have been so rude to this guy?

         “Rufo.  My name is Rufo.”  He leaned against the door frame as an idea clicked in my head.

         “Rufo, I want to apologize again for earlier. Come inside, please.  Have a seat at the table.”  My smile beamed as I moved to the side to let him in.

         “If you say so.”  He shrugged, shutting the door behind him as I walked back into the kitchen.  

         I saw him sit down, his legs sprawled a bit. I began to rub some of my favorite spices into the steaks when I noticed him tearing apart a napkin.  He was so focused on it that he didn’t even notice me as I walked over to the couch nearby and picking up the remote.

         “If there’s anything you’d like to watch feel free to flip through the channels.  It’s on some animal documentaries right now.”  I smiled at him as I set the remote next to him then headed back to the kitchen.

         I poured a little oil into the pan along with some butter, letting it melt together as the pan heated up.  Once the pan was to the right heat I set the steaks into the pan.  While one side seared I would fill a bowl with soup, flip the steaks, and fill the other bowl as a sort of timer.  I was able to fit the soup bowl onto the plate in a presentable way.  I carried our plates to the table and set them down, putting Rufo’s plate in front of him.  He had been so distracted by the animal documentary until now.

         “I wasn’t sure how you liked your steaks done so I did it rare if that’s fine.”  I settled down into my seat after getting our silverware and water for both of us.

         “Fuckin’ perfect.”  He had begun to cut up the steak, eating the pieces and occasionally taking sips of his water.

         It was oddly peaceful as we ate.  It didn’t feel as if we were strangers just hours ago. The sound of soft music along with some animal noises in the background played.  Rufo would sometimes turn around to watch.  

         “So (Y/N),” he turned back to me after setting his fork down and picking up the spoon, so he could eat the soup, “tell me about yourself.”  He propped his elbow on the table and looked at me intently.

         “I,” I paused to think about what I could tell him, and I let out a small huff, “there isn’t anything interesting about me, to be honest.  I work here in town for an insurance company.  I mostly sit at home, watching things like animal documentaries or listening to rock music to get the day going by.”  I shrugged as I looked down at my soup as I stirred it with my spoon.  “I’m sorry if that’s not what you were looking for. What about you?”  I looked back up to him and my spoon clattered to the bowl when I saw his face now.

         His skin had turn pale white like snow.  The flowing black hair of his was now a blue just like the make up now on his face, except the lips.  There was a large red smile painted on his mouth.  Before I could say anything, he came up and around me, placing his large hands on my shoulders and giving them a light squeeze.

         “Now, now don’t freak out.  I’m not going to hurt you.”  His hands squeezed a little harder this time as he brought his head next to mine.  “I may be a dead man walking but I am a gentleman still.  I do admit though if you had been rude like most of the pathetic cretins in this town you probably would be dead the second you ran into me with no words of an apology but no.”  His hands were now softly massaging my shoulders and I realized how tense I was. There had been talk of murders in town, but I had just ignored them.  This was the man doing it?  “You’ve been so sweet and kind far beyond what I expected.”  His hands rubbed up to the base of my neck as his thumbs rubbed the tense muscle.  “I do plan to repay the favor but first I have to leave town for a few weeks. Promise you’ll still be here doll?” One hand left the back of my neck to meet my chin to turn my head to the side where we met eyes.  “I wanna hear you say that you’ll promise Old Rufo that you’re gonna stay.”

         “I-I promise, Rufo.”  My heart was pounding hard in my chest.  I’m not sure if I was afraid, intimidated or to the fact I still found him oddly attractive despite his eerie appearance.  “I promise.”

         “I’m so happy to hear doll.”  His hand slid up to my cheek as he spoke as his grin grew wider. “I’m not a huge fan of people bumping and running.  Doesn’t end well with them.”  He shrugged and picked up our empty dishes, heading to the kitchen.  

         I stood up as he entered the kitchen.  I followed behind him and just before he started washing them.  He turned his head with a confused look on my face.  I guess he thought I would be scared and not wanting to interact with him until he came back.

         “You’re my guest still, even if you are well,” I looked him over then back up to him, “a bit different.”  Lightly I pulled him by his belt loop away from the sink and began washing dishes.  “I’m still a host.  Guests get to relax.”  I turned my head to look at him.

         “I’m going to at least help you dry them.” He grabbed the dishtowel I had hanging from a top cabinet.  I let out a sigh as I handed him a wet plate.

         “I guess that’s fine.  If you like ice cream you can stay for a bowl and we can watch another documentary.”  He set the plate into the dishes cabinet and took another wet dish from my hand.

         “Such hospitality.  I bet I could stay the night too if I needed too.”  He laughed as he wiped the towel on the dish.

         “Actually, yes.  You may look scary and you probably are someone I should be afraid of, but you haven’t personally done anything wrong to me.” Once the plate left his hand I put a bowl in it.  “You can either crash on the couch or in the guest bedroom.  Whichever you prefer.  If you have to leave early, feel free to make breakfast for yourself before you head out.”

         “I,” there was a long pause has he dried the bowl and then dried the next, “I’ll be honest this isn’t what I expected.”

         “And you think this is what I expected?”  I raised an eyebrow as I looked at him as he finished drying the last dish.  “Now go look in the freezer to pick your ice cream and go pick a documentary.”  I gave him a warm smile and once he set the towel back where it was he picked out his ice cream.

         I had a million thoughts going on in my head as I scooped our ice cream into bowls.  He had asked for a lot of whipped cream on top of his, so I made a small mountain on top of his.  There was a deep-sea documentary playing as I entered the living room and sat next to him. His eyes widened at his bowl as he grabbed onto it.  I couldn’t help but to giggle.  The rest of the time we just sat there watching the television.  Oddly, it was still peaceful feeling around us despite him showing what he was to me.  We cleaned the bowls once we were done and we both decided to sleep.  He was comfortable with the couch, so I brought out some blankets and pillows for him to use.  After saying goodnight, I headed off to my own bedroom.  I wasn’t sure what to think, let alone feel, about this Rufo man but I guess I would find out in time.

@float-me-to-the-moon @slushi

[katalyna-rose]

To See Her

A commission for @territorial-fae that was such a wonderful challenge for me. I struggled a bit to get the tone just right but it was really fun! I’m loving the challenge of doing these commissions and just the whole process is really rewarding. Thank you so much to everyone who has commissioned me thus far and to everyone who might in the future!

Solavellan

Content Warnings: Papa!Solas, the sweet smell of angst

2,112 words

Apprehension in his gut and shaking in his hands, Solas made his way along hidden paths to the place he’d once called home, the castle he’d given away to a woman he never should have fallen in love with. He knew what she’d become, how she’d changed; his agents had been very thorough in their reports, when he could get them past her careful guard. And now he had different news that sped his steps back to the place he’d sworn not to go while she resided there.

It was almost child’s play to find himself standing on the balcony of her quarters at the top of the central tower of Skyhold, the secret ways almost second nature to him even after so much time. Within the room through the warped glass, for the first time in years, he saw Fenra. She was bent over a book at her desk, brows drawn low in concentration, and he could see the way the years had changed her. Around her beautiful purple eyes were delicate lines, crow’s feet born of her more serious nature, and the corners of her full lips were pinched with her exhaustion. She seemed far from the playful, catty woman he had fallen in love with, but surely that side of her remained. He had to hope that some part of her was as he remembered or his goals for this venture were doomed to remain unfulfilled.

He took a deep breath in a failed attempt to steady himself, then pushed open the balcony door, his heart pounding in his chest. She looked up with a scowl that quickly bled to shock and he cast a sound barrier around her room so that they would not disturb all of Skyhold with the explosion he expected to come. She stood from her chair and rounded her desk and he stood still and waited for her justified fury.

“You,” Fenra snarled, her hands clenching at her sides. “Is this a dream? Are you some demon come to prey on me?”

“No, Fenra,” he told her softly, sadly. “You know this is not the Fade. I am truly here.”

“Why?” she growled. “I gave up on you long ago. I searched for years and never found you. Why would you return now?”

“You know why, Fenra,” he said. “I discovered the secret that you hide from the world.” He dared to take a step closer to her, but stopped when she took a step back. He struggled against the knife in his heart that her distance twisted. “I have come to see my daughter.”

Fenra was silent for long moments, staring at him with hard eyes, hands clenching and unclenching restlessly at her sides. Then she turned from him and sat abruptly back in her chair. “No,” she stated, her tone final and her eyes back on her book, utterly dismissive of him.

Solas scowled. “Fenra, I have a right to see her,” he insisted, stepping closer. She stiffened but did not retreat. “She is my child and I wish to know her.”

A muscle in Fenra’s jaw ticked. “She is not your daughter,” she told him, eyes on the papers strewn over her desk. “She was born of your seed but that does not make you her father. You did not hold her when she was born or change her diapers when she was an infant. You did not teach her to walk and speak and hold a spoon. You were not there to feel her growing inside me or to hold my hair as I vomited up everything but my will. You were not there as she was born amidst all the screaming and the pain and the questions about her origins.” She looked up and the cold fury in her gaze speared him through so sharply he expected to feel himself bleeding. “You abandoned her as you abandoned me. You are not her father. She has no father. You don’t belong here anymore.”

“But she does,” he argued, taking another step. “How can you accuse me of abandoning her when I did not even know about her birth? She is my child and I will see her.”

Fenra banged her fist on the desk as she stood, a show of her fury that he would never have expected from her before. “You could have been her father!” she yelled, years of pent-up rage boiling over. Though he had expected it, still it burned him and he had to struggle to maintain his calm façade as his gut churned. “You could have been here with me to raise her! It was your choice to leave! You could have stayed! If you had loved me at all, you would have stayed, regardless of my pregnancy!”

“I did love you, Fenra, through it all,” he tried to tell her, to confess, but she shook her head and would not hear it.

“Lies! I know your game, Dread Wolf, and I will not listen to your lies!” she hissed, pacing away from him again. There was silence between them for a few moments longer.

“I only wish to see my daughter, Fenra,” Solas tried again, his tone soft, pleading. “Allow me to meet her and then I will leave.”

Fenra stood staring out at the mountains in silence for so long that Solas began to wonder if she would answer at all or if she would ignore him until he was forced to leave. He could feel the weight of her anger in the room, pulling on him and poisoning her. Yet she was still beautiful to him, despite her fury, and that twisted the knife in his heart even more. He wanted to run his fingers through her pale hair and cup her cheek. He wanted to see that mischievous smile that meant someone was going to run screaming through the courtyard shortly in response to one of her pranks, the distinctive sound of Sera’s laughter in the air. He wanted to relearn the shape of her lips and the curves of her body. But he knew that door was closed to him now and had been for a long time and it would never open again.

“You may see her,” Fenra finally said with an abruptness that startled him. “You may only see her. You may not speak to her and she will never know that you are her father.”

He bowed his head in both agony and thanks. “It will be enough,” he said, trying to convince himself.

“Then come,” Fenra said. She still would not look at him as she led him from her room and through the main hall. She did not question why no one seemed to notice him as she led him towards the stables. She did not speak at all and she did not look back at him to make sure he followed where she led.

There, in the shadow of the battlements, a little girl with Fenra’s hair crouched, gently petting a kitten and playing with its paws. Fenra pointed to her as though his eyes had not latched on to the sight of the child with familiar features immediately. “There she is. Her name is Ryn.”

Solas watched the girl explore the cat’s fur as it arched under her touch and tried to play with her hair. She giggled and tugged her hair back to toss it over her shoulder. She captured a waving paw to gently explore how it worked, touching the retractable claws as the kitten playfully batted at her with its other legs. He saw so much of what her mother had been in that little girl, that playful curiosity. Her smile was mischief itself and her eyes were radiant, just like Fenra’s once were. But she deserved other children to play with, not just the kitten of a mouser. She should have been supervised so she didn’t get into trouble; she was too young to be allowed to roam Skyhold on her own.

“Why does she play alone?” Solas asked, speaking up after long minutes of watching his daughter play in silence.

“Look around you, Solas,” Fenra said with a vague gesture, a flick of her hand that was somehow sharp and dismissive at once. And still she would not look at him. “This is Skyhold and there are no other children here. Would you like to conjure some for her to play with? Though I believe that would be called kidnapping.”

“You have an undeservedly low opinion of me if you truly believe I would do such a thing,” Solas observed quietly.

Fenra scoffed. “You have earned my low opinion tenfold, Fen’Harel,” she growled. “All that ever was between us was a lie. My only truth now is my daughter and I will protect her from you.”

A deep sigh could not calm him nor steady the shaking of his hands as he heard the true depth of her rage in her voice. Yet he had to wonder if she would be so furious if she did not still care, at least a little. If he was nothing to her any longer, if her love had been forsaken as she claimed, would she have needed to twist the blade in his heart as she did? He had to wonder, though he wished he didn’t.

“I told you once, long ago, that what we had was real,” he reminded her in a whisper. “I meant it then and I mean it now. My feelings for you-“

“Stop,” she commanded harshly, wrapping her arms around herself. “I do not want to hear it. Whatever you say, what you believe… I don’t care. This is my truth: If you loved me you would not have left. People simply do not leave the ones they love the way you left me. You did not love me.”

“I know that I cannot change your mind,” Solas murmured, “but my truth is that I wanted only to protect you. I would protect you from myself as well as the dangers of the world.”

“You have done poorly at it all,” Fenra barked, a door slamming in his face. He turned his eyes from her cold and stony profile back to their daughter and the kitten she played with.

As he watched her chase the small black animal around the courtyard, giggling and laughing with glee, he admitted that he’d lied to them both. It was not enough to see her from a distance, to witness her existence and be so far from it, from her, from them both. He had closed so many doors between himself and Fenra that she had locked and thrown away the key; he didn’t honestly know what he might have done if he had known that she was pregnant before he left. He didn’t know if he would have stayed or brought her with him or done exactly as he had. He didn’t know if he would have told her the truth about himself and begged her forgiveness for the chance to have a family and be with them.

And it didn’t matter what he might have done because he was left only with what he had done. What he had done had irrevocably changed the woman he loved and ensured that he would be estranged from his daughter, the only child he would ever have. All he had left was his regret and the pain in his heart, torn into pieces.

Finally, Fenra turned to him with fury burning in her eyes and no compassion for an old and broken man. “Leave,” she commanded. He wanted to argue but he knew it would do him no good. He turned to see Ryn, his daughter whom he would never meet, one last time. “You have seen her, now go. And do not come back. You will never be welcome here again.”

Slowly, Solas nodded his acquiescence, though it made that blade in his heart slide a little deeper. With a last look at mother and child, he wrapped his magic around himself and vanished from her sight. And if, perchance, Fenra cried herself to sleep that night and woke wrapped up in her favorite blankets, she would thank Cole as she gathered what comfort she could find and rolled over to sleep once more. And if, perchance, Ryn found a toy halla on her pillow she would thank Blackwall for carving it for her. And if, perchance, Fenra recognized where the new toy had truly come from, she would say nothing and leave it in her daughter’s possession. And perhaps she would find a reason to smile once more, someday.