#LISTEN. my dad is a weeb. he cannot help this.

[daughterofsarenrae]

fajsdlkfjslkfjsdlkfj my dad is upset with my bc he just discovered kill la kill and i told him i watched it in like high school and apparently i should've recommended it to him back then

[chryza]

Masterpost of what I think about you based on who you simp for in FFXIV I’m going to try and include as many characters I’ve vibe checked as possible but if yours isn’t here comment them and I’ll give you a custom roast for free. If I forgot someone, please refrain from saying “How could you forget x” I have three different memory disorders okay I did my best 😭

The Scions

Minfilia-You think a woman’s tits can redeem anything bad about her and you’re right.

Lyse-You’re a lesbian with a hard-on for destroying capitalism to the point where your friends ask you to maybe tone it down a little

Papalymo-Ur into dads. Not dilfs. Just dads.

Thancred-You like your men ROGUEISH and BLOODIED and BEATEN and BABYGIRLED

Urianger-You have autism or you are currently in an irl relationship with someone who has autism. Thank you for your service

Y’Shtola-okay little sun. (You enjoy being verbally degraded, so this is for you, a compliment)

Tataru-I love you. You want someone who can cook for you and tease you and who in turn you will shower with affection which is the only currency you have to offer

Estinien-I’m gonna be honest the only thing I can offer here is that you like brooding men who are idiots. Don’t go for a joint bank account.

G’raha-If you like GRAHA then you desire strongly a partner you can cuddle like a stuffed animal if you like THE EXARCH then you are a bottom and you like the dark academia aesthetic

Krile-You need a partner that will fill the emotional void left by your mommy issues

Moenbryda-You have autism but you kin urianger instead of crushing on him. Or ur just really into chicks who can crush you with their thighs and you’re mad that people turned it into a meme

ARR

Kan-E-Senna-I don’t believe you. You’ll have to defend yourself to me in a trial by combat

Merlwyb-Your perfect first date is dying side by side with the person you love as you fight for your lives but you’ll probably end up getting a coffee or something

Nanamo-you are SO into the princess and knight aesthetic thing, you LOVE fairytales so much.

Raubahn-You like men with an “I can fix him” flair but who have already been fixed. You’re also touch starved

Lahabrea-The line between annoyance and attraction is a tightrope you walk every day but by god you’re walking it

Cid-GOD you love himbos it’s not even a “haha I love stupid men” thing to you it’s a REQUIREMENT, the men you date need a HIMBO RESUME

Gaius-Your devotion is impressive. No one can tell you what to do with your life. I think you’re a Jane Austen protagonist.

Nero-SCRUNGLY SKRUNKLY MAN HAG BLORBO HEHEHHEHE EVIL SCIENCE

Heavensward

Haurchefant-I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry. Why don’t you wrap yourself in a blanket and pretend like he’s the one holding you.

Aymeric-Objectively the most stable main character in this godforsaken game, you take your husband material seriously.

Lucia-You’re a lesbian who mains warrior, I shan’t elaborate

Edmont-pathological dilf/gilf enjoyer to the point where you need help and/or jesus

Artoirel-your dream is to become one half of the most powerful power couple to ever power

Emmanellain-You’re gay in a hipster filter flower crowns cavetown kind of way

Ysayle- You were chronically disappointed by stormblood. You say everyone is out of your league but chin up champ, ysayle wanted to fuck a dragon and probably did so you can’t be that bad

Hraesvelgr- ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Igeyorhm-What does it matter if a female character is developed, you are horny in the here and now and that’s more important. You probably think femdom is hot too 👀

Stormblood (god help me)

To preface-if any character from stormblood is your simp of choice you automatically get a sticker that says WEEB slapped on your forehead.

Yugiri-I feel like you listen to metal and keep neat pets like tarantulas or snakes. I cannot explain why.

Gosetsu-For want of a proper bushido character you settled on him but then when the Tsuyu plotline happened you genuinely fell in love with him. Kind of a DILF, reblog.

Hien-himbo connoisseur. You own a sword.

Sadu-WOMEN. BIG FAN OF W O M E N. That’s your only personality trait rn but that’s okay, life’s hard.

Zenos-you are a godless degenerate who is unironically into BDSM (it’s okay me too)

Yotsuyu- You know she’s a femme fatale. You know there’s no way that’s going to end well. But you are so allured by her viciousness and tragic backstory what does it matter that you’ll end up dead on the floor. “I can fix her” yeah keep telling yourself that bud.

Fordola-you are genuinely one of the sweetest people in the world and I think you COULD fix her actually.

Asahi-Liar, you’re a fandaniel simp

Shadowbringers

Lyna-you believe drinking your respect women juice is not only an obligation but an honor and you still avert your eyes from the Victoria’s Secret posters in the mall

Kai-Shirr-HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Runar- I feel like I can’t even call you a furry in bad faith. You just love nice men that much. Who cares if he’s a lion.

Feo Ul-Trans. You definitely have an au where the WoL took them up on their offer to become King Titania.

Ran’jit-I…don’t believe you? You’ll have to explain to me why you like him

Ardbert-So soft. So nice. Hnnnn oh yeah we were talking about you. You’re not a himbo enjoyer because you do prefer men who have some brain cells but you DO like em sad and you DO like em muscley

Emet-Selch- He is the character who in the entire game the story tries its hardest to make us simp for. It worked. The only thing I can do is quote another video on this same subject: You are DISEASED.

Elidibus-Someone hits u with the 🥺 and you melt like butter. Your favorite activity is peace and quiet.

Endwalker

Fandaniel-You self-identify as a goblin. You were a theatre kid. You love that he’s sad and insane but you don’t want to fix him. That would ruin the appeal.

Ameliance-“Bro I said I wanted to fuck Ameliance as a joke but bro….I don’t think it’s a joke anymore”

Nidhana-You’re correct. About everything. You’ve never been wrong. You own booty shorts that say “I love women in STEM” on the ass

Vrtra- ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Jullus-for you, enemies to lovers isn’t just a trope, it’s a lifestyle

Venat-📸 hmm? Oh sorry that was just me taking a picture of you admitting you desperately crave someone to take care of you. Mommy issues. NEXT!

Hermes-you adamantly differentiate between Hermes and Fandaniel, but at what point must the line be drawn for your “I can fix him” complex to kick in hmm??

Hythlodaeus-You have a praise kink. (You also should come be my friend. We can simp for him together ☺️)

[ibelonginthepast]

Hunk for the character ask thing??

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HUNK!!!! FINALLY!!! I am such a ho for him sorry

Sexuality Headcanon: i have no particular fixed pref, he could be straight, but i like to think he's bi throughout. I think he is a believer of fluid sexuality, so he doesn't really fits himself in a label. He goes along with whoever he likes.

Gender Headcanon: I sometimes like to hc him as a trans man (ftm). He/him pronouns. He was cultured into toxic masculinity. He has had his struggles with it. He was teased for being soft because of his anxiety issues. His tendency to be emotional and expressive. He has had been a victim of toxic masculinity constantly, even adopted it and perpetuated it further for a while before giving up. He is passionate about healthy masculinity and really understands it now. He is a fierce feminist and in for breaking the patriarchy.

A ship I have with said character: the thing is i hate Canon. I dont like the first sight first meet fall in love kind of thing they did with hunk and shay, but with what I headcanon shay as, I think she is perfect for him. He would balance her head on approach to stuff, and she will balance his tendency to ponder. He is a total simp for shay. He's a sucker for a simple calm life, while shay is on the ambitious side, and he fully supports her.

A BROTP I have with said character: hance is a given. heith! I will fucking die for this. I love thinking up stories of how Keith, despite being the one to struggle to open up, will inevitably fall for hunk. Hunk is just so approachable, so welcoming, so loving. I see hunk as also very fierce. He will stand in front as a literal physical shield to protect the ones he loves. He is dedicated when he loves and he never gives up on anyone. This is something he will share with Keith. One of the only people who will relate with Keith on a soul level on this. Punk!!! I love it. So much. Hunk is just amazing at platonic relationships. Hunk takes care of pidge a lot, they are his sibling. They simp on tech together ofc!! Even tho Shiro is everyone's dad, hunk cares for him, brings him his energy drinks and blankets all the time cause let's be real Shiro is low-key wishing death all the time and does not care for himself. Hunk is one of those peeps who scream SHIRO! NO! everytime Shiro makes a bad joke about death. Hunk's caring nature extends to everyone. Allura again is bad at taking care of herself, and he helps. He defo teaches allura samoan box braids!!! Coran too. Hunk bakes with coran sitting beside, chatting unrelentlessly but here's the thing, Hunk doesn't tolerate it. He genuinely likes listening to people and knowing them. One of the reasons he goes so well with Lance.

A NOTP I have with said character: humph he could go with anyone ngl. Shunk is extra weird to me, Shiro is a dad through and through i ew shaladins.

A random headcanon:

Despite what people think, hunk thinks he struggles with words. He uses food to express love. If he feels distant with anyone, he cooks for them.

Hunk does get tired after caring for people so much, but he has healthy nice fam around him who he lets take care of him too. He knows he needs to care for himself, and after some time of struggling with it, he now proudly take care of himself as well.

Hunk has struggled with severe anxiety. He has had panic attacks, complete meltdowns. His family was a bit pressurizing in terms of his career and all, and he has always felt responsible to get an excellent job in the stem section to make his parents proud.

He got into stem because of his parents, but he developed his love for it later too. He genuinely started finding STEM very interesting.

He contributed in making of fun robots in school's stem centres all the time. He had a teacher who was obsessed with making anime monsters, and even though hunk himself hates gore and shit he had fun making those and sometimes watched those weird ass animes and talked about how those wild ass writers were defo on weed while writing the script. He bonded over weeb stuff surprisingly with Shiro ;)

He hasn't been the smartest forever, like pidge. He actually worked his way to it. He is very dedicated, hard working and passionate.

He has undiagnosed ADD, but it hasn't interferred with him fitting in much. He has been able to do his work, and he recognized some tricks to focus early in life. His anxiety drives him to work as much as it distracts him. he just discovers his ADD later in therapy.

He makes pretty notes. He has an unhealthy obsession with pastel yellow highlighter.

Hunk is very well equipped with samoan tattoo art designs and understanding them. it's something his grandparents taught him since forever. His grandfather did tattoos and he saw them when he was little. He wants to get atleast some sort of soga'i miki. He's been always conflicted about wanting Pe'a cause its so beautiful and masculine in expression and not wanting it because it's so painful and permanent.

Because he has lived in America his whole life, he has struggled with his national identity a lot. He gets taunted by by family in samoa for being American and for speaking english better than samoan. He doenst always fit in well in america either for obvious reasons. He has struggled with feeling like he belongs. Its something he bonds with Lance on.

He is passionate about dismantling the social organization in samoa and its ill effects. He understands the systems and talks about their unfairness. This is something his distant and traditional family members get annoyed at him for.

He talks passionately about the freedom struggles of samoa and the samoan civil wars. He likes listening to stories of freedom fighters of samoa and great leaders. He is very critical of European colonization and takes no shit from europe apologists.

He is low-key a Satanist and likes to tell people about how God was super sexist to Lilith and how absolutely bullshit her banishment was,, how Satan is the coolest first feminist and made her the queen she is, and how Satan is the coolest dude for being the first rebel and equalist. He talks about how he gave us knowledge, and it created the world we are in rn or else we would still be all dumb and naked in the garden. His family is Christian and religious, he has read stories from bibles and come to the conclusions himself.

General Opinion over said character: i am horribly sad but I swear to God one cuddle from this cinnamon roll will cure me of everything

IMP NOTE: I am not samoan, but I read about countries where my favorite characters are from sometimes. I have started reading about che and communist Cuba for Lance too ;) All this info is from the internet, and I cannot say for sure its all good and true. If I am wrong with anything, please point it out.

THANKS FOR THIS! Now go drink water <3

[tazujoes]

some random joe headcannons I have!

these were originally on my twitter, but i thought i’d post them here too! reminder that these are all just my own personal headcannons for joe, so feel free to disagree with anything or tell me your own headcannons! also these are a bit rambly i’m sorry but i still hope u enjoy!!

- the yttd manga mentions that joe comes from a fairly poor family, so i pictured him living above the town's local grocery store, which his family owns and runs! they don't have a lot, but they're still happy, and that's what counts.

- joe lives with his dads and his two younger siblings. his younger siblings are twins, and are around 9 years old. they both look up to joe and think he's the coolest! joe loves to play games with them, take them out and just generally dote on them because he is a Soft Big Bro™!

- joe's dads adopted him and his siblings! joe lived in an orphanage for the first couple years of his life, but since he was so young he barely remembers it. his dads are fairly chill, but can also be Classic Dad Embarrassing. so many dad jokes. that's where joe gets them from.

- sara is around at joe's place so often that she's basically become an Honorary Tazuna Sibling. joe's dads are almost embarrassingly fond of her, as are his younger siblings. they call her "big sis sara" (like gin!!) and sara enjoys that deep down as she herself is an only child!

- joe creates the impression that he's fairly extroverted, and many would say he is, however he has mild social anxiety and his insecurities often hold him back from making new friends or other opportunities. however, sara can see when joe gets uncomfortable and always helps lighten the load in social situations for him. that's one of the things that joe is most grateful for in sara.

- if you couldn't tell, joe is obsessed with dogs!! if he sees one in the streets he just stops and goes on a tangent about how adorable and soft it is and how he wants to feed and love and pet it and sara's just there like k dude lemme know when ur done. he sadly can't get a dog himself because of his living/financial situation, but he has a bed full of dog plushies at home to make up for it.

- joe's other Big Love is sports, his favourites being softball, basketball and swimming! he has a Lot of energy (like he never seems to tire out. Ever) and is known by a lot of the school for his athletic ability.

- joe is a literal Meme God. sara cannot go a single day without receiving a text from him that's some surreal, dead, wholesome or uncannily recent meme. it's a gamble which it'll be, or whether she'll understand it. joe also has an ifunny account purely for the irony.

- joe actually has a small interest in fashion!! the clothes he wears alway seem to have some sort of colourful, quirky, messy, Classic Joe look to them. ultimately, they help him express himself! hence also why he wears his uniform Like That and his hair is Like That. if they weren’t, it just wouldn’t be joe!

- joe's first proper interaction with sara was when they were walking home from their first day of high school on opposite sides of the street, and joe saw sara accidentally walk into a lamppost. joe couldn't help but laugh, which embarrassed sara, but he crossed the street and asked if she was ok. they went their separate ways after that, but whenever joe spotted sara in any of his classes he would be like "hey lamppost girl!!" and thus a beautiful friendship blossomed from awkward little daily interactions like that, especially since the rest of their class had already formed friendships around them and they were kind of the odd ones out. talking to joe helped sara come out of her shell more, and helped joe ease into conversations better.

- joe is trans!! he goes by he/him pronouns mostly, but also sometimes they/them. he actually met sara as he was just figuring his identity out, and she was a big help and support to him while he transitioned in the next couple of years! when he was picking a new name for himself he couldn't decide between "jou" and "joe" but then sara was like Why Not Both. his athletic build and natural broad-shoulderedness meant that he didn't feel too dysphoric, however he can have days where he feels more body-conscious, and hates people misunderstanding him or his looks.

- he's also a chaotic bisexual! the amount of silly one-day crushes joe has gotten and sara has had to listen about are staggering. anyway joe tazuna carries the entire lgbt+ community on his shoulders in this essay i will

- he's a closet weeb. he loves magical girl anime, idol anime and anything else with an action/fantasy edge! it all started when he saw his little sister watching sailor moon one day. that was his Weeb Awakening. he also unironically listens to vocaloid! the only plushies on his bed that are not dogs are a len kagamine plush and a subaru akehoshi plush.

- he drinks respecting women juice, on the daily, no he Chugs it. but we all know this

- he's very emotional! he cries very easily, is deeply empathetic to those he cares about and physically cannot bear to watch any movies where the dog dies. one time he accidentally saw a dog die on tv as a kid and it scarred him so deeply that he cried his eyes out for a full day and later held a small memorial service for this fictional dog.

- unfortunately because of him being more of a sensitive type, as well as being adopted, he was often bullied as a child. back then he couldn’t stand up for himself, so there was little he could do. but with advice from his dads, and eventually meeting sara, he learned to be stronger and overcome it.

- he’s very innocent! sara Physically Cannot explain what “f*ck” means to him. she just Can’t

- when he was introduced to ryoko by sara, he went positively scarlet and couldn’t form a proper sentence around her for a week. however, as he got more comfortable with her, and she warmed up to him, their ✨ budding romance ✨ began to bloom. although they only recently started dating, and they still have a long way to go, they’re happy and comfortable with the casual relationship they have, and sara is super supportive of them!

- the fact that joe and ryoko are dating doesn’t upset the friendship between the three of them, everything is just pretty chill! after all, ryoko and sara are joe’s two favourite girls in the world, and nothing will ever change that. 💙