#LIKE ONE DAY UR FRIENDS ARE HUNTING YOU AND THE NEXT DAY THEYRE KISSING UR HAND AND BOWING TO YOU!!

[jackietaylorsghost]

teenage girlhood: friendships, a summary YELLOWJACKETS: 208. It Chooses ➙ 209. Storytelling

[uniformbravo]

heyo its another ancient recovered animorphs liveblog post heho here we go

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bird torture: a fun animorphs book

we have reached true ax-tobias fusion. maximum shorm

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Back when I was a regular kid, school dances made me a little uneasy. I've always been a loner and all, and they just weren't my thing. But now! Now that I spent most of my life as a red-tailed hawk - hunting, flying, protecting my meadow - dances made me feel even weirder.

this is so funny??? imagine if marco was even a 5th as funny as tobias

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Bird-boy at the ball.

gkldfkdg fuckin,, Yea

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Did I mention that my name is Tobias? Just Tobias. Even if it were safe to tell you my last name, I'm not sure I'd know what to say. Whether it would be a human name, an Andalite name, or just "hawk." I don't know. Because, see, I'm a little of each.

Tobias Hawk. birdman boyo local forest resident feather friend tobias the third and fourth, son of The Blue Man

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It felt good to hear Jake say I was indispensable, but: with Jake you could never be sure anymore what was sincere. And what was just expedient. He'd been the most open of guys, back in the old days. What you saw with Jake was what you got. But he'd been a leader for a long time now. He'd learned to say what he needed to say.

Jake needed me as one of the Animorphs. He liked me, respected me, was happy for me when I was happy. And, when he had to, he used me without regard for anything but winning.

can everyone stop offering their insights as to how jake has changed its taking years off my life

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<Been boning up on famous leaders, haven't you?>

what does this mean. what the fuck does this mean. like i know these books were written a while ago but specifically what does this particular sentence mean right here right now (there is every possibility that it’s some kind of bizarre typo tho bc when ur getting things like “p J_L [-I p -P 1,” somewhat regularly u learn to give these books the benefit of the doubt but like. Still)

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ax: *guiding tobias through his first andalite morph and sharing andalite customs with him* me: *biting my fist, holding back tears* m-maximum shorm

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tobias is always going on about his amazing hawk vision and honestly im laughing bc im just imagining him looking at everything super zoomed in all the time like when u look through binoculars at someone who’s standing right in front of you i mean i know it doesn’t work like that bu t

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<Marco, what exactly are you doing in the fondue?> Rachel asked. <Exactly? Well ... I wanted to see if it would still taste good sucked up through a fly mouth. You gonna help me or do you just want to bust me? > <Let him get eaten,> Rachel advised.

rachel, my guiding light, my queen

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ok like. no offense but like. i have class tomorrow morning, i have to get up at 7, which is 4 hours from now, right. it’s 3am and i should be asleep right now, but instead i thought it’d be a fun idea to read some animorphs, u know, my favorite book series which always gives me happy emotions, like right now how it’s doing that by making me read this goddamn fuckening Bird Torture and the saddest fucking memories in the goddamn world happening all at once what the fuck??? like irl this is so fucked up this book is some new wave shit tier garbage why are u making me read this!!!

i Like tobias i literally dont Need this in my life, theyre physically torturing him and he’s dissociating super hard and reliving vivid memories of his shitty fucking human life and i dont have time for this i just dont! im tired!! stop hurting my son!!! im suing K.A. Applegate and Friends™ for the unfettered destruction of my emotional well-being what the Fuck

(you’ll have to excuse me for liveblogging literally none of it ok i tried but it’s just so much. it’s so much. theres no way to liveblog that, the only way to experience it is to read the whole thing all in one go and tangibly feel your soul slipping from your body until ur just a motionless husk hosting the echoes of the horrors you’ve just borne witness to, trust me on this)

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I started to run toward Rachel. She saw me and smiled. I slowed as I neared her, breathing hard. And suddenly I had my arms around her. I buried my face in her hair. She held me tightly. - I smiled. "Let's fly." "Yeah," she agreed. "Right after I do this." She kissed me. "Okay, now let's fly," she said and laughed her wild, wicked, self-mocking Rachel laugh. - Who am I? What am I? A bird. A boy. Something not quite human. Something more than human. The person Rachel loves.

i didnt go through all that andalite-themed buildup and 25 pages of bird torture and identity crises only to be met with this rachel/tobias heterosexual agenda propaganda in all honesty let’s be fuckig real here,,,

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it is now the next morning i got 2 and a half hrs sleep thanks tobias

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[moving on to a new book]

me when someone starts talkin shit

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But I really am your basic, average girl.

and im here to save the world, u cant stop me cause im kim po ssi ble

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<What am I looking for, exactly?> <A doodle. It's, um, of a .. . a heart,>  I stammered. I tried to climb up the desk leg. But it was metal. My claws couldn't get a grip. <Think I see it,> Rachel answered. <lf the heart has "Cassie Loves Jake" printed in the middle with a really dorky cupid drawn next to it.>

cassie

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“Okay, there's that girl, Holly Perry, you know, she transferred from Polk?" Marco said from his seat on one of the big bales of hay in my barn. "I want my Chee to ask her out for me. I tried a couple of times, but this thing happened with my voice." "He started clucking like the chicken he is," Rachel commented.

God,

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aldrea keeps referring to tobias as “the nothlit” rather than his name and im not rly sure what it’s supposed to indicate bc she’s literally a nothlit too? and she takes pride in being a nothlit, completely thinks of herself as hork-bajir and not andalite so it can’t be othering?? it’s also kind of interesting bc tobias completely thinks of himself as hawk and not human (well kind of) so it’s like? parallels??

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hte end

[beefstew252]

i was tagged by @davidbowie69​ to do this time- consuming tageroony

(answer 92 questions and tag 20 ppl)

the last

1. drink: water cuz im basic

2. phone call: mi amiga ella

3. text message: “ehehhehehehehehhe with like a million laughy face emojis cuz im too awkward to live”

4. song you listened to: telephone line by ELO

5. time you cried: probs last night when i cried myself to sleep or yesterday when i watched life and was too scared so i leaked from my seeing crevices

have you

6. dated someone twice: never even been on a date whoops im a loooser

7. kissed someone and regretted it: lhehehehehe my mommy

8. been cheated on: friend wise- yes but not like in relationships lol im not kewl

9. lost someone special: mhmhmhmhm i move everyday and am unlovable soo not a good combo

10. been depressed: lol yup yup yup everyday but i cover it with smiley face stickers and sprinkles

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: mayyybbeeee when i accidently drank a bunk of mikes hard lemonade hehehhhhehehe

list 3 favorite colors

12. yellow

13. mintish green

14. sky blue

in the last year you have…

15. made new friends: @davidbowie69​ i love my mommm 

16. fallen out of love: nope im always in love with everyone ever

17. laughed until you cried: EVERYDAY im a giggly person tbh

18. found out someone was talking about you: not really but i constantly feel like my friends talk about how horrible i am sooooo same difference 

19. met someone who changed you: everyone i meet tbh <3333333

20. found out who your friends are: i think maybe if they actually love me as much as i love themmmmm <333

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: what even is face book tbh

generale

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: girl i dont understand this booking faceeeee

23. do you have any pets: my dear pet rock mildred and her associate mr pebbleton (but i wanna doggo so badddd)

24. do you want to change your name: nah m8 sofia is fineeee af i think

25. what did you do for your last birthday: 4 days agooo hmmm i slept in and had avocado toast like a true millennial and went to the grocery store with my mom lol and then went to my fav place in the world an art store then had cake and watched life which was horrifying twas pretty fun

26. what time did you wake up: 10ish but usually like afternoonish whoops

27. what were you doing last night at midnight: i was watching the OA which was actually amazin tbh

28. name something you can’t wait for: WINNING THE PRESIDENCY WITH MY VICE PRES KANYE IN 2020 HONESTLYYYY

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: just now when she told me to do the laundry

30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i had stayed in one place and had real, true friendships

31. what are you listening to right now: build me up buttercup- the foundations

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: no not really???

33. something that is getting on your nerves: constantly thinkin im not good enough and some “people” i know heh

34. most visited website: tumblr, netflix and gmail tbh

lost questions. i just put in random info about me

wow op was a little bitch--- keepin this in thx ellie

35. moles: yes but theyre outside and probably have rabies and are blind af and no longer are in my backyard---- jkjk yea i do tho

36. marks: everywhere on my ugly af self

37. childhood dream: i wanted to be a squirrel when i grew up sooo

38. hair color: dark brown

39. long or short hair: short shoulder lengthish??

40. do you have a crush on someone: yeah everyone i meet ever 

41. what do you like about yourself: my curly af hair and strangely large energy reserves (gracias mitochondria)

42. piercings: ear piercins

43. blood type: idk man but i hope its the kind from that episode of doctor who with the aliens and they controlled u with blood or somethin and david tennant lost an arm it was wild

44. nickname: sofie, sofie dofie, didi, olaf, mr. f@#*ing compassion, slink, softpants once again, sof fresh, coneybear? leaf?, ronnie, macaronnie, charlie kelly tbh

45. relationship status: hahahahahahahahahahaha

46. zodiac: cancer, (yes i know im a crabb dont make funna me)

47. pronouns: she/her also ultimate supreme ruler of 7M tbh

48. favorite tv show: stranger things, its always sunny in philadelphia, parks and rec, the office, tbh the new show i just binged yesterday called the OA, friends, etcetcetc

49. tattoos: nope i have a very low pain tolerance

50. right or left hand: right im bland af

51. surgery: yea my poor eye lol ive had like 3 on that one alone whwhwhw

52. hair dyed different color: no id look like a uglier potato

53. sport: competitive cloud watching

54. *GASP* there is no spoon…there is no question 54…………………….  ………………………..hey remember those wayside school books because i sure do------ also keepin this im unoriginal and still dont understand tags lol

55. vacation: the moon

56. pair of trainers: white superstar adidas or grossly dirty “white” converse cuz im basic once again

plus generales

57. eating: i just ate strawberries and a grilled cheese sandwich sooo

58. drinking: w a t e r ---stay hydrated mis amigos

59. i’m about to: host the most lit party in the world tbh (mario kart and pizza binches)

60. *bo burnham voice in my head, for some reason* it’s not real. time is an illusion.------ im lazy do u see a trend????!?

61. waiting for: my next trip to the northeast cuz i miss it

62. want: a real friend tbh.        also *dr evil voice* 1 MILLion DOllaRs

63. get married: yup and i agree with the bae on “why couldn’t this have been question 64 because when i’m sixty four by the beatles is also the best song ever sooooo”

64. career: eww the future i h8 probs an astronaut so i can fly into the void

which is better

65. hugs or kisses: AWW ILL TAKE ANYTHIN

66. lips or eyes: eyes who even looks at lips eww theyre like chapped and stuff

67. shorter or taller: short lil bean or tall beans everyone is valid

68. older or younger: all the ages?

69. yOU hAVe GOt To bE KiDdINg ME wHY is 69 SKipPeD--- gracias por las cosas

70. nice arms or nice stomach: eww nice personality honestly

71. sensitive or loud: sensitive like me hehehehhee

72. hook up or relationship: relationshippppp<3 if any soul could stand me for longer than a day

73. troublemaker or hesitant: ??????? i like robbie rotton

have you ever…

don’t we need tequila  apple juice for this part

74. kissed a stranger: no but today i made a snarky comment quietly about a kid who was smoothie drinkin and bikin and we made solid eye contact for like 30 secs sooo same difference

75. drank hard liquor: i licked vodka once it was gross and i almost threw up

76. lost glasses/contact lenses: jason sat on and broke my glasses once so same thing

77. turned someone down: yeah the monster livin in my drawer tried to take me to the movies once and i was like BOI UR A MONSTER LIVIN IN MY ROOM COME ON

78. sex on the first date:   eWWWWWEWWewewewewwwwew

79. broken someone’s heart: hah no one has ever liked me in the history of the human race sooo

80. had your heart broken: everyday

81. been arrested: im what the police call “an angel”

82. cried when someone died: every time my fav character died or any other time im an emotional lil bean honestly

83. fallen for a friend: yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhehehehhehe

do you believe in…

84. yourself: eww no i suck

85. miracles: one time someone said i was pretty 

86. love at first sight: yes i’m certain that it happens all the time STEALIN IT ELLIE SOZ NOT SOZ

87. santa claus: yes yes yes 

88. kiss on the first date: mmmmmmmmmidkman

89. angels: me

other

man, op really ran outta ideas here

90. current best friend’s name: none of my “best friends” think im their best friend too soooo no im a lonely person but if i had to say somethin itd be russell crow(e?) as javert tbh

91. eye color: poop brown

92: favorite movie: all of them but also good will hunting, cinema paridiso, life is beautiful, dead poets society, breakfast club, 16 candles the list goes ONNNNN man

well, it’s been real

i tag vlad putin and jeff