#LIKE AKI MAN UR CHARA DEVELOPMENT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD NOT TERRIBLE LIKE THIS

[hoshira]

invisible. before heading to bed i gotta say: akiyama ( aka tooru’s Evil Ex ™ ) is shaping up to be one of my fave villains so far just bc of how complicated he is as a character. i’ll make a more in-depth post about it ( esp since i rly need to talk more abt the other people in tooru’s life, particularly kaito and akiyama, who had a huge role in shaping who tooru is now ), but basically: akiyama was part of the same star as tooru. and by that, i mean, if you were to take them apart at the very core – their stardust – it would be the same ( granted, with tooru, it’d be mostly the same because part of his stardust was stolen from someone else’s, which is why he’s even alive / exists the way that he does right now, blah blah blah ). they used to be the same entity, and because of this, their existences are tied in a way. tbh, akiyama unintentionally caused this downward spiral for both his and tooru’s narratives because he has the majority of their stardust. the entire reason why tooru’s story ends the way that it does – forgotten by all because his was an existence that should have never been – is because his stardust was not enough to let him live as a human. which was why he stole some from someone else in order to grant that wish. and obviously the universe was like “um no put it back” and so ye. he ded. and akiyama probably has enough to share but yknow… the universe is a dick… no stardust 4 tooru, it all goes to ur shitty ex. but anyway… akiyama was never really a bad person to begin with. in fact, prior to meeting tooru, he was actually a nice guy. however, he always had that empty feeling, no matter which life he was in. and that’s because he longed to be with his ‘ other half ’: tooru. when they did meet, however, aki basically let that yearning turn into an unhealthy obsession, and instead of as a lover or even as a human being, he started to see tooru as an object to be possessed. aka his possession, and no one else’s. he felt like he had some semblance of entitlement to tooru’s existence because he simultaneously would and would not exist as a human if it weren’t for akiyama ( schrodinger’s existence… ? lol ). eventually, tooru broke things off because he realized that he was his own person. he didn’t need a relationship to define his humanity, neither did he need akiyama to validate his existence. tooru could do that himself – ‘himself’ was good enough.

but i think what makes me like aki as an antagonist is the fact that he’s honestly just… someone who led himself to his own destruction. it was his fault that he became a manipulative, abusive asshole. tooru gave him so many chances to better himself and he basically just turned it down each time, which was what led tooru becoming fed up with him and leaving. but if he actually let tooru help him out and strived to improve himself as a better boyfriend/person, honestly… he couldn’t been able to get that ‘happy ending’ that he wanted with tooru. but he didn’t lmao. he literally trashed his own chance at a happy ending like how meta is that. this entire canon is meta. what kinda mindfuck… ‘cause honestly ? i think he and tooru were intended to be the true ‘canon ship’ in this. and then aki just fucked about w/ that. tho i assume it was also cause he knew he and tooru were going to be canon, in some way. kinda like how tooru knows he’s an oc and that he’s gonna be forgotten when he dies. and because of that, tooru kills himself because he couldn’t deal with the guilt of it all. and similarly, akiyama ruins his chances at becoming that canon ship cause… he knew it was gonna be canon so he was like “eh i can do w/e i want”… what the fuck is this canon becoming….