#LIKE THAT'S HOW EVERYONE SANS MY NOW GIRLFRIEND WHO I MET IN EARLY COLLEGE (so about 19-20) PERCEIVED ME

[sunkern-plus]

tfw i hate the fat chuuni failgirl stereotype more than anything...but i AM the fat chuuni failgirl (pxngender/genderlight version) stereotype

[wasabito]

➽ corruption collab masterlist — hosted by @ultimate-astridwriting and @bummie ♥️

➽ note: definitely gonna come back and edit this a bit more because threesomes are hard as fuck, no pun intended lmao happy v-day everyone!

➽ word count: 3.2k

➽ cw/tags: polyamory + body worship + threesome + praise kink + public sex + choking + handjobs/fingering + vaginal sex + squirting + established relationship

➽ pairing: akaashi x fem!reader x bokuto

💿 1. nasty — ariana grande || 2. come on — jhene aiko

With Valentine's Day fast approaching, it becomes rather apparent that love and romance are in the air. Storefronts are decorated in bubblegum pinks and reds. Flower shops promote their special bouquet arrangements at discounted prices. Even your favorite hole in the wall coffee shop has fallen prey to the spirit of cupid as they announce their new strawberry shortcake dessert and heart-shaped scones.

In lieu of staying home for the third night this week, your boyfriends escort you to dinner at an upscale restaurant in the city. They treat you to a five-course meal and a bottle of wine even pricier than the dinner itself. One would think, after three years of dating, you would no longer be caught unawares by their spontaneity. And yet, here they are, once again pulling the rug from underneath your four-inch heels.

Your gaze flickers from Akaashi's tranquil smile to Bokuto's wide grin.

Adjusting the napkin in your lap, you open your mouth to speak, then pause as the right words fail it come. Brain short-circuiting instead, you let out a confused, "Huh?!"

"We're taking you to Italy!" Bokuto repeats, about ready to hop out of his seat with excitement. He looks to Akaashi, "Three nights in Venice, right 'Kaashi?"

"Yes, we decided on Venice after you told us you'd always wanted to visit. Remember Koutarou's birthday last year?"

"But that was like months ago! Did you two honestly hold onto that drunk little confession this entire time?"

"Of course."

"Yup!!"

It's in moments like these when you are reminded of their history together, first as teammates playing volleyball, and eventually close friends. Not much longer after that, you'd met and fallen for Akaashi, then Bokuto, and thus began the relationship of today. While you find it a little ridiculous, it seems neither of them has any qualms about this trip.

After all, you are their lovely girlfriend. Why wouldn't they want to make your wishes come true?

Bokuto claps his hands, eyes sparkling. "Everything's already planned out, babe, so don't worry your pretty little head, okay?"

You can't argue with that. Reaching over, you take Bokuto's hand in your right and Akaashi's in your left. "Alright, since you two went to all this trouble for me, I guess I'll just sit back and enjoy it."

♥️

Venice is just as beautiful as you imagined.

It looks as if it's floating upon blue-green waters with lots of sunshine, beautiful architecture, and a vibrancy that makes it feel like the city has a life of its own. You are grateful you didn't come by yourself. There is no way you would've enjoyed it without Akaashi and Bokuto at your side.

"We're about a ten-minute walk from Piazza San Marco," Akaashi says as he taps his glasses. His sharp gaze is locked on the map in his hands, likely committing most landmarks and details to memory. "Would you like to check it out?"

"Yeah! Let's do it."

"Off we go, go, go!"

Thus, a majority of your first day in Venice is spent sightseeing.

The three of you take a gondola ride through Canale Grande, then have a peek into the Gallerie Dell'Accademia at Akaashi's insistence, though naturally, you wouldn't have come all the way to Italy and not visited at least one art museum. Afterward, the three of you go to the Le Mercerie shopping district and buy gifts for your friends before finally taking a pit stop for the most delicious gelato in the city.

The sunsets sooner than expected, casting the entire block in deep red hues. Bokuto's mood is greatly influenced by it, and the jetlag certainly doesn't help. He props himself against you, nuzzling you in a way that says he's itching for a kiss.

"Tired, Kou?"

Bokuto hums. "A little... More hungry than anything."

He leans in and pecks your lips with a sated smile. "Maybe I should eat you. I mean, how is it my girl's so damn cute? Not fair, I can't resist."

You snort at Bo's silliness but can't help shivering a little at the tiny implication of his words. He always did like to lay his head on your thighs, leaving a trail of kisses and love bites where he could.

So, the thought of him eating you out made you squeeze your thighs together.

Akaashi approaches with your frozen treats held between his long fingers; having overheard Bokuto earlier, he tucks his wallet back into his pocket.

"We'll get some dinner after we drop off these shopping bags. How does that sound?"

You eagerly take your gelato from him with a smile.

"Sounds like a plan."

Akaashi nods, standing at your other side, close enough to brush elbows though not as close as Bokuto, who was nearly hovering.

The three of you are in one of the narrow, maze-like streetways, basking in the warm, early evening glow. The sweet taste of fruit and cream on your tongue fills you with so much contentment, especially while being with your favorite people. You aren't sure if anything could top the way you currently felt, and the trip has just barely started.

Upon arriving at your temporary place of residence, a quaint little villa on the waterfront just along the shore of Punta Sabbioni Beach, Bokuto immediately kicks off his sandals, dumps the bags, and promptly falls asleep on the couch.

"It's so weird seeing Kou like this." You remark. "On any normal day, he's brimming with almost too much energy, but now he's all tired."

"Well, he did stay up an entire twelve hours on the plane. It was only a matter of time before fatigue caught up to him." Akaashi picks up Bokuto's shoes with practiced ease and places them by the others.

There is a fond smile running along the edges of his mouth as he tucks a throw around the man's larger frame. You help him adjust a spare pillow under Bo's head and then set off to explore the rest of the area.

It seemed like everything about Venice was taken straight out of a romance film, with its cobblestone paths, gothic cathedral architecture, crisp ocean waters, and authentic Italian cuisine. It is no wonder the city's known to draw hapless souls together in romance. Even you fell subject to it, and by each passing moment, you crave to be with your boyfriends.

You are standing at the balcony overlooking the beach, satisfied with your inspection of the villa when Akaashi comes to stand behind you. He holds onto the railings, caging you in his arms, and rests his chin on your shoulder.

"He was right, you know." He murmurs. "You do look good enough to eat."

Blunt as ever. Apparently, something's never change.

Though one might say that Akaashi is as he's always been after high school and college, there is no denying his boost in confidence. After all, he had landed not one but two rather attractive partners.

He kisses your cheek, then your jaw, before latching onto your neck.

The sun's scenic view on the horizon, reflecting upon the beach sands of gold and shimmering orange waves, makes for an excellent backdrop.

You turn to face Akaashi and pull him into a heated kiss. His lips convey a sense of devotion to you, and with each press of them against yours, you can feel just how bad he's yearning for more.

"Kei," you whisper. "Let's go inside."

In a moment, Akaashi whisks you off your feet quite similar to how Bokuto would, though you both don't even make it to the bedroom.

Your other partner had sat up on the sofa, hair flat on one side, scrubbing his eyelids.

"Guys, I'm freaking starving!" Bokuto groans. "Let's get some food or something."

He doesn't even notice how you and Akaashi are breathing heavy or how your clothes are sporting wrinkles that were not previously there. Regardless, Akaashi has food delivered while you went ahead to shower the day's journey away. There are still two days left. You'd get your chance with them at some point.

♥️

Sadly, the entirety of day two is spent indoors. Heavy sheets of rain continue to fall, muddying the shoreline. The three of you huddle on the sofa wrapped in blankets with subtitled movies playing in the background.

Even though you would've much rather been out exploring in the city, just sharing in your boyfriend's warmth would suffice for now. Akaashi hands you a steaming cup of something rich in both color and smell.

"What's this?"

"Just espresso." He takes the empty seat beside you.

You savor the taste while leaning against his shoulder. "Mm, nice."

Bokuto keeps his head on your lap, loving how you thread your fingers into his hair.

It is a tranquil kind of peace that soon lulls you to sleep.

Later, when you finally wake up, it's dark, and you're alone. A blanket had been tucked around your shoulders to shield you from the sudden chill. At some point, the television had been shut off along with every light in the room. You might've been a little scared if not for the voices coming from the second floor. Slowly, you creep up the winding staircase, dragging along the blanket around your shoulders.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Bokuto chuckles. "You're finally up!"

His hair is down, wet from his shower, and he holds a thin towel together around his waist. In his hand is a cellphone, and he doesn't hesitate to shove the screen into your face. "Say hi, Tetsu!"

"Hi Y/N, how's it going?"

You blink slowly, still trying to wake yourself up.

"Kuroo, hey… I'm well. How are you?"

"Great, just about to head out for a late lunch. I hear it's almost ten pm over there."

"Yeah, it's an eight-hour time difference."

You and Kuroo continue to chat while Bokuto towels off his hair and puts on clothes. Afterward, you let Bokuto resume his conversation and join Akaashi on the bed. The man had gone full editor-mode with his glasses propped up in his hair as he read through some work documents.

When you approach, he greets you with a kiss on the cheek. "You look well-rested."

"Is that your way of telling me I have drool on my cheek, Keiji?"

He cracks a tiny smile, eyes taking in your features, then he pokes your cheek with his index finger. "Perhaps."

You scrub the corners of your mouth with your sleeve and drape yourself over Akaashi, work be damned. This was supposed to be a special weekend for relaxing.

"I really wanted to go to the beach today." You pout.

Akaashi interlocks his fingers with yours. "Maybe we still can. It stopped raining a few hours ago."

"Really?!"

You hop off the bed and head for the window. He's right, the rain had long stopped, and the beach lay bare, lit by only the moonlight.

Maybe a short walk to the beach would do you some good.

♥️

The grains of sand feel cold against your feet without the sun to beat down on them, but you don't complain. The air is humid enough on its own that you forgo wearing actual clothes and instead wear a swimsuit along with Bokuto's old Fukurōdani windbreaker.

You walk along the shore, toes digging into the sand, letting the ocean waves lap at your feet to wash them clean again.

At first, it's so eerily quiet without a soul around except you, but even that doesn't last long. You hear Bokuto's voice bellow into the night as he jogs towards you in nothing but swim trunks. Behind him, Akaashi trails slowly after with a blanket in hand.

"We thought you might want some company." He says and spreads the cover on the sand several feet away from the water, content with just watching.

Bokuto grabs your hand and you go running to the water with him, but a second later, you both come sprinting back.

"It's freezing!"

"S-So co-co-cold!"

You collapse on top of him, fingers splayed across his bare chest. However, when you try to sit up, Bokuto has other plans. He keeps you pressed to his chest with both arms around your waist.

"Let me keep you warm, baby!"

You know he meant it in the most innocent way, but you can't help but think other thoughts. Your nerves fray at the image that blooms in your head and spreads like wildfire.

And as Akaashi strokes your back, you know he's probably read your mind.

It's the way your eyes seem to glitter with want that gives it away. Akaashi has always been rather observant, and so your silent cues are something he's always been privy to.

His nimble fingers curve around the nape of your neck, and he tilts his head to capture your lips in a kiss. This one is unlike the one from yesterday. There is no rush, no desire to quicken his haste; instead, he savors the taste of you like it's something to be thoroughly enjoyed.

Underneath you, Bokuto stirs, growing aroused at the sight of his two lovers' kiss. He can't decide whether he wants to join in or sit back and watch. But his large hand comes down to stroke your ass, resulting in a moan you breathe directly into Akaashi's mouth.

"You're not usually so forthcoming, Keiji," you whisper against his lips. "Eager, are we?"

Akaashi pulls away just enough to pepper your face in feathery kisses. "Can you blame me? When I have such a lovely girlfriend here."

As if confirming his words, he slips a hand under your jacket and cups your breast. The pads of his thumb brush along the seams of your bathing suit, caressing your nipple.

"Kou, let's show Y/N just how much we love her, yes?"

Bokuto didn't need to be told twice. He had been in entranced by you and Akaashi, completely taken by the way your lips danced upon one another. But now, he wanted more than anything to touch you, kiss you, hold you.

Bokuto cradles you in his lap, propping your legs open with his knees so Akaashi can kneel in front of you. It didn't take much for him to relieve you of your clothing, namely your swimming bottoms. But the second the air hits your bare cunt, you feel tense.

You aren't sure what it was, but the atmosphere is different. Both Akaashi and Bokuto are so focused on you, it feels like you're under a spotlight.

"You're so pretty, so beautiful," Bokuto says while squeezing your thighs. His warm breath tickles your ear as he presses his nose into your neck. Next, his lips follow suit. "Wanna fuck you, so bad baby. You'd like that, right?"

His words earn him a chuckle from Akaashi, who merely licks two of his fingers, wetting them and sliding into you. Your mouth parts, shaky breaths barely expelled from your lungs. You're hyper-aware of the fact that you're literally being fingered on a beach in the middle of the night, and you can't bring yourself to care. It feels good to be pampered by the two men you love.

For every moan, Akaashi gives you double for your efforts, thrusting his fingers just right, curving them in such a way that has your back arching off Bokuto, who has also taken to fondling your nipples. With every roll of his hips, you feel his cock against your ass, and it pushes you further into Akaashi's fingers.

Your impending orgasm sweeps by so close and yet so far away. All you can do is rock yourself faster.

"Please," you whimper. "W-Wanna come."

Akaashi crooks his fingers, pressing into the perfect spot that sends you hurtling over the edge. Your cunt spasms around his fingers, clenching in intervals you have no control over until his hand is coated with your wet, slick juices that keep coming the more you squirt all over him.

"She's so wet 'Kaashi. Look at our pretty girl."

Akaashi places a chaste kiss on your forehead with a smile.

"She's doing well, so far. Let's see if she can keep going."

Bokuto shimmies his shorts off enough to free his hard cock. He had been uncharacteristically patient until now, but that was soon to change as he lines himself up with your cunt, teasing you with just the tip.

Your whining is unintelligible, but both men understand you more or less.

"Give the pretty girl what she wants," Akaashi says. He strokes his own hard-on at the sight of Bokuto's pushing past your wet folds. "I know she can take more than that."

Bokuto has always been girthy, and it takes you more than a few seconds to adjust to his size, but when you finally do, it feels like heaven.

The position you're in gives Bokuto all the power to thrust into you like a ragdoll. But it's only when you make eye contact with Akaashi that you realize that it's, in fact, the other way around for him in particular. From where he sits, stroking his cock with flushed cheeks and choked moans, you see just how much control you have over him.

"Kiss me." You moan.

Akaashi doesn't let you repeat yourself. He kisses you long and hard even as you grip his throat with one hand and his hair with the other. He kisses you until his lips are red and bruised.

"Good boy. Both of y-you."

Bokuto groans loudly. "Say it again. Keep saying it!"

"Y-You're both so good. I-" your hips stutter against Akaashi's fingers that are rubbing circles into your clit. "Good, so good-"

That's all it takes to take Bokuto over the edge, blowing his load. "Perfect, so fucking perfect."

You can feel another orgasm swelling up inside your belly. You try to tell them but can't, too overcome by the feeling of your body tingling with desire. It's too much, overwhelmingly so; your vision blurs with unshed tears as Bokuto continues to pound into sopping pussy. Pleasure floods every fiber of your being until you're limp and every nerve in your body is set alight.

Bokuto slips out of you easily, a string of his semen following.

You can only look on in a drowsy haze as Bokuto leans over and kisses you and then Akaashi, working him over with a tight fist.

♥️

The following morning, you’re the first to wake, but only because there’s a limb jammed into your back and a heavy weight on your chest. It takes you a moment to realize, but it’s Bokuto’s elbow poking you and Akaashi’s head resting on you.

All three of you are a tangle of limbs in bed, but you aren’t sure how you’d gotten there.

“G’mornin’” Bokuto breathes. His lips caress the column of your neck.

“Morning.”

You shift into a more comfortable position. Though doing so presses Akaashi’s morning wood against your thigh.

“Keiji, you awake yet?”

“Mmm barely.” Akaashi looks up at you through his lashes, then smiles and nuzzles closer into your chest.

Bokuto, content with being your big spoon, reaches over to touch Akaashi, hands cupping his cheek. “It’s Valentine’s Day!”

“That’s true, should we do something special.”

Thinking about the previous night, you feel desire stirring in your gut. “Could we just... do it again?”

Both men look to each other then back at you, sporting matching smiles.

“Why not?”

[mingishoe]

Summary: You and Wooyoung have been friends for as long as you can remember. After an unfortunate event, the two of you decided to make a safe word for when you feel uncomfortable or want out of a situation. Cinnamon. You just happen to say it on your wedding day.

Genre: Fluff, Smut, Angst! hits of crack

Pairing: Wooyoung x Fem!Reader ft. Seonghwa x reader

Word count: 15.1k 

Warning: infidelity?/cheating I do not encourage cheating, please don’t cheat :)

Smut Warnings: Dom!Wooyoung Sub!Reader, lots of dirty talk, teasing, unintentional edging, oral (m&f receiving), unprotected sex, fingering, hand job, marking

A/N: ik this is like an oLD trend,, I wrote this back in may and never finished it but I reread it and decided I liked it too much not to post so here it is :)

also please don’t make fun of my header it sucks bc idk how to make them sjkdhsks

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

You honestly don’t remember when you met Wooyoung, you just know that he’s always been your best friend.

You were 3 and Wooyoung was 4. You were just starting to be able to put your sentences together and make some sort of sense, and Wooyoung had already pretty much figured it out.

The two of you never did much talking, you just always sat together and played. Wooyoung was just a comfortable presence until you finally started grade school.

You were 6 and Wooyoung was 7 and it was probably the scariest thing that either of you have experienced at that time. Wooyoung’s mom drove the two of you to your first day of the 1st grade.

Your eyes were watery as you got out of the car with Wooyoung and his mom. She walked the two of you into your class and hugged the both of you goodbye.

Wooyoung sat next to you and watched as a tear fell down your cheek. He was only 7, he didn’t know how to comfort anyone but he tried. Wooyoung brought you into a hug that most 6 year old girls would hate because boys have cooties. Even you thought boys had cooties, but not Wooyoung. Wooyoung was cootie free.

Wooyoung gave you the tightest hug, “It’s okay y/n! I promise I’ll be next to you the whole time,” and he kept that promise.

Wooyoung was next to you all day, through the first introductions, making sure to help you if you got shy, “And this is my best friend y/n! She’s shy right now.” To snack time when you shared your fruit gummies with him just because you knew they were his favourite. Even at nap time Wooyoung made sure he was close to you even when you were supposed to be separated.

That day was the first time you knew you were sticking with Wooyoung for forever.

Every day you spent the entire day with Wooyoung, slowly making more friends. Most of your friends were boys, San, Yeosang, Mingi, and Yunho. You being the only girl in your friend group was wild. You developed basically what was a boy personality, you were always playing outside with them, in sports, and don’t even get started on your humour. You had the humour of a 10 year old boy and that would never go away.

One day your class was in the playground and Wooyoung was trying to push you on the swing. One of Wooyoung’s friends, Jisoo, came over and asked Wooyoung to go on the slides with him.

You shrugged and went over to San and watched as he struggled on the money bars, “Sannie! You’re not strong enough!” San pouted at you as he jumped down from only the very first bar, “I am! I just… have a scratch on my hand so it hurts.” You laughed at sans excuses before he pulled you to the slides, “Come on! Let’s race on the slides!”

Wooyoung was at the top of the little castle the play set was supposed to look like with Jisoo. She had Wooyoung practically cornered as she spoke to him, “Wooyoung, since you’re my boyfriend we have to kiss.”

Wooyoung didn’t remember having a girlfriend. He was pretty sure she never even asked him to be her boyfriend, “I’m not your boyfriend.” Wooyoung very simply told her.

Everyone knows how these elementary school relationships work, if someone says you’re dating, you’re dating. It’s not always that both parties agree.

She obviously didn’t care that Wooyoung didn’t want to be her boyfriend. “Well, now you are.” Wooyoung shook his head, still disagreeing, “Why not?” Wooyoung looked around trying to find you and when he did he pointed in your direction, “Because y/n is my girlfriend.” And he wasn’t wrong, you were his friend that was a girl, his girlfriend.

Wooyoung and Jisoo both watched as you came up the stairs with San, “y/n, is it true that you’re Wooyoung’s girlfriend?”

You blink at both Wooyoung and Jisoo, “What?” You look at Wooyoung who’s nodding at you, “Yeah, Wooyoung is my boyfriend.”

Jisoo looks at you with a scowl before sliding down the slide. Wooyoung looks relieved as Jisoo leaves, “You just saved my life.” You roll your eyes and laugh at Wooyoung, “We need a code word in case this happens again.”

You nod then turn to san, “San you need to leave, you can’t hear the code word.” San makes a fuss but finally agrees after you tell him you’ll give him your gummies tomorrow at lunch.

You sit down with Wooyoung in front of you making sure no one else is around you, “What should the word be?”

The both of you sit and think for a few seconds before Wooyoung speaks up, “Umm… what about clouds?” You shake your head, “I don’t think so, we talk about clouds a lot.”

Wooyoung nods, “You’re right, what about pomegranate?” Once again you shake your head, “I’m never going to remember that.” Wooyoung frowns but nods. You speak up again, “What about cinnamon?”

Wooyoung looks at you like you just said the smartest thing ever, “Yes! That’s perfect!” The two of you high five with a laugh, “Race you down the slide!” Wooyoung said before quickly jumping down to get on the slide.

⋆

Day after day you spent with those 5 boys, with Wooyoung. You and Wooyoung had sleepovers every single night, on school nights, weekends, and even in summer. It was never a problem until you got to high school.

Don’t think that middle school was easy breezy covergirl. There were always stares as you walked with Wooyoung or any of the other boys for that matter. You honestly really weren’t sure why, like yeah they were all extremely attractive but it wasn’t anything to be petty over.

All the boys were constantly being approached by different girls since middle school started and it didn’t stop in high school or in college. You never got approached by any boys because of the ones that constantly surrounded you.

Any boy you talked to got scared away by either Wooyoung or one of the other boys. Any girl that liked one of the boys always tried to threaten you, like you even cared at all.

You hadn’t ever had a boyfriend and honestly you didn’t really mind contrary to others opinions. Some of your other friends had tried to tell you it was all Wooyoung’s fault and in all honesty it was but you didn’t mind. You had Wooyoung so you were okay.

One of the things that always stuck besides your friendship with Wooyoung and the other boys was the safe word.

After another uncomfortable incident that happened in 6th grade you changed the code word to a safe word. So every time you were wanting to get out of a situation or felt uncomfortable all you had to do was either say or text the word ‘cinnamon’ to Wooyoung. You two were still to this day the only people who knew what that meant.

It was a few weeks before prom and the bell had just rung. You were waiting for Wooyoung at your locker so you could leave together. You were leaning against your locker scrolling through your social media when you sense a presence in front of you.

When you look up your heart stops in your chest, “Hello princess,” you look around for Wooyoung before looking back to the boy standing in front of you, “S-Seonghwa, Hi.”

You’re quick to find Wooyoung’s contact and type a single word, “cinnamon” and press send. It was senior year and you were all 18, and Seonghwa had been trying to get into your pants for the longest time.

Seonghwa and Wooyoung were both known to absolutely hate each other, and it’s all because of you. Everyone knows that Wooyoung is extremely protective of you but Seonghwa doesn’t seem to care. He also doesn’t seem to get the hint that you're not necessarily his biggest fan.

You put your phone in your pocket after you see Wooyoung’s name flash on the screen signalling he was coming. “Where’s your little boyfriend?” Seonghwa teases you as he places one of his arms on the lockers next to you.

You press yourself against the locker trying to get away from Seonghwa, “H-He’s not my boyfriend… but uhh, he’s not here.”

Seonghwa smirks at you before pulling away slightly, “Perfect, he’s finally not up your ass.” You start to say something before Seonghwa stops you, “anyway, I haven’t had a chance to ask you because you’re always with someone and your friends aren’t necessarily my biggest fans…” you look at Seonghwa with red cheeks that match his, “You’re blushing.” Seonghwa’s mouth drops slightly in shock, “Shut up, let me ask the question.” You smile at Seonghwa as he continues, “D-Do you want to go to prom with me?”

This time your heart stops for a different reason. You definitely didn’t expect that. You look up at Seonghwa with cheeks that honestly rivalled his, “Seonghwa… I-”

“No, she doesn’t.” Wooyoung spoke up causing Seonghwa to look down with even redder cheeks. Wooyoung grabbed your hand pulling you away from Seonghwa before you could even say sorry.

“Wooyoung, what’re you doing?!” Wooyoung stopped you in the middle of the hall, “What do you mean? You sent the word!” You looked down awkwardly, “M-Maybe I said it a little too early…”

Wooyoung stood there with his mouth slightly open, “So you’re saying that you were gonna say yes to Seonghwa?” You pout at Wooyoung, “I don’t- I don’t know?”

“But y/n, you know exactly what he wants.” Wooyoung was right, you knew that probably all Seonghwa wanted to do was finally get into your pants. But you weren’t sure, what if there was that slim possibility that he actually truly just wanted to take you to prom, “You can go to prom with us, you know that.”

You nod at Wooyoung, “I know but you all have dates…” Wooyoung sensed your disappointment and wrapped his arm around your shoulders, “I don’t have a date,”

You looked to Wooyoung as the two of you walked to his car, “Really? You’ve been asked by approximately half of the school.”

Wooyoung rolls his eyes and pushes you making you laugh, “Yeah but that doesn’t mean I wanna go with any of them.” You nibble on your lip in thought, “Maybe you should.”

Wooyoung looks at you with furrowed eyebrows, “What do you mean?” You huff as you get into Wooyoung’s car, “Maybe you should go somewhere with someone who isn’t me for once…”

Wooyoung doesn’t know how he should take that. He can’t tell if you’re actually being sincere, jealous, or if you’re just finally getting sick of him, “Do you not want to go with me?”

You sighed as you grabbed onto Wooyoung’s hand, “Wooyoungie, you know that’s not what I’m saying. I just think that maybe you should just… I dunno, give someone else a chance. Plus you know parties aren’t my scene.” You can tell Wooyoung is hurt by what you said but he’s trying to play it off as he doesn’t care.

Once you arrived at your house Wooyoung unlocked your door and waited for you to get out, “Are you not gonna come in?” Wooyoung shook his head without even looking at you, “I have to help my mom with something, tell your mom I said hi. I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning.”

You stayed looking at Wooyoung for a second before stepping out, “Oh… okay. Love you, see you tomorrow.” Wooyoung mumbled an ‘I love you’ before driving off.

You know you shouldn’t really be too affected by Wooyoung right now knowing that he’s upset but that doesn’t stop you from biting your lip in worry.

You open the door and see your mom in the kitchen, “Hey honey, hey Woo.” You pout as your mom unconsciously says Wooyoung’s name because he always comes home with you, “Wooyoung didn’t get off…”

Your mom looks up and immediately knows something’s off, “What happened?” You just shrug and sit at the stool next to where your mom is cutting vegetables, “He got mad at me.”

Your mom laughs softly knowing that it probably wasn’t even a big deal, “Wooyoung got mad because I told him that I didn’t wanna go to prom with him.”

Her eyebrows shoot up “Why don’t you wanna go to prom with him?” You just shrug, “It isn’t that I don’t want to go with him, I just don’t wanna go in general. So I told him that he should go with someone else… because somewhere close to 30 other girls asked him and he rejected them. I told him that he should give someone else an opportunity.”

Your mom looks conflicted. Well shit- that means that what you did was probably terrible and actually really mean. “Y/n sweetheart, Wooyoung rejected the other girls because he wanted to go with you. It’s not like he feels it’s a requirement, you know what I mean?”

You rest your head on the counter, “So you’re saying I should go to prom with Wooyoung?” Your mom shakes her head, “Not if you don’t want to, I’m just saying not to think that Wooyoung thinks he has to.”

“Someone asked me to prom…” your mom's head snapped up to look at you, “Really?! Who was it?” You laugh loudly before responding, “You know that boy that Wooyoung talks about all the time?” This time your mom’s jaw drops, “That boy umm… Seong- something? You know I’m not good with names,”

You nod vigorously as your mom is having a heart attack at what you’re saying, “Yes! Seonghwa! But he asked me today after school… and it was kinda cute? I’ve never seen him so flustered before. His cheeks were so red and he just looked really cute. But I don’t know, like I said I don’t even want to go at all.” You almost leave it at that but make sure to mention the obvious, “but Wooyoung would kill the both of us so that’s a no go.”

Your mom winks at you before leaning in to whisper, “Sometimes you need that adrenaline… just don’t let Wooyoung find out.” You pull away from your mom with a gasp, “You did not just betray Wooyoung like that!” Your mom just shrugs with a laugh.

The next day Wooyoung is really distant and is just pretty much ignoring you. Everyone else notices the shift in your energy making them pretty uncomfortable, “Y/n, what the fuck is happening?”

You look at San for a moment before simply saying, “Wooyoung’s mad at me.” Before San can even ask you why, you walk away and go to your class.

Thankfully that class has pretty much no one that you’re friends with so you’re free of any interrogation. You notice that Seonghwa is in this class so you decide to sit next to him, “H-Hey Seonghwa, sorry about yesterday…”

Seonghwa looks up from his phone to see you sitting next to him making him sit up straight, “Oh, Umm no it’s okay. I can handle rejection…” for some reason that made you feel really sad, “It’s not that I don’t want to go with you, I just don’t want to go in general.”

Seonghwa is looking down at his hands with his lip in between his teeth and your heart literally breaks, “You can just say you’re going with Wooyoung, it’s okay.”

“I-I’m not going with Wooyoung either…” This makes Seonghwa look at you, “Y-You’re not?” You shake your head with a soft smile, “I told you,”

You laugh as Seonghwa visibly perks up. You thought about what your mom had previously told you, “Why don’t you give me your number and maybe we can do something else?”

Seonghwa freezes, obviously not expecting you to ask for his number, “What about Wooyoung? Won’t he like murder you?” You laugh and nod, “Let’s just not let him find out… our secret.” You have your phone held out to him waiting for him to take it. He looks at you cautiously before deciding you were being serious, “Y/n, Wooyoung is going to murder me and send my balls to my mother if he sees my number in your phone.”

You pause for a minute, that being way too specific for Wooyoung to not have said that to Seonghwa, “Uhh… right.” You grabbed your phone from his hand and sent him a smiley face so he would have your number. Before you had a chance to say anything else your teacher walked in starting the class.

You and Seonghwa sat comfortably next to each other, not as awkward as you thought it was going to be.

When class ended Seonghwa walked out with you and you looked around you hoping that Wooyoung wasn’t there. You stopped yourself and looked up at Seonghwa, “Let’s start over yeah? Let’s just forget about Wooyoung and the other boys and not worry about them.”

Seonghwa smiled and nodded but still looked around like he was nervous making you laugh, “See you later,”

The rest of your classes were insanely awkward. Wooyoung still sat next to you and in all honesty it probably would’ve been better if he didn’t. The concerned glances of San and Yunho were becoming too much once it reached lunch time.

Both you and Wooyoung were mindlessly poking at your food and Yeosang was getting sick of it, “What the fuck is y’all’s problem?”

You drop your fork and look at Yeosang, “It’s none of your business.” Wooyoung rolls his eyes at you before snapping, “She doesn’t wanna go to prom with me.”

It was your turn to roll your eyes, “Wooyoung I already told you, I just don’t want to go! It has nothing to do with you!” Yeosang already regretted asking.

“Oh okay but you were going to say yes when Seonghwa asked you?” You froze. Yeosang froze. Everyone at the table froze except Wooyoung, if this was a cartoon there’d surely be steam coming out of his ears.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” You can see the veins sticking out on Wooyoung’s neck as his face turns red from anger, “You know exactly what my problem is and you know exactly why Seonghwa wants to take you to prom! He just wants to fuck you and then he’s gonna leave you.”

That was it. You pushed your tray of food at Wooyoung making it spill all over him, “Fuck you.” You’ve never wanted to hit Wooyoung as much as you do in this moment but you knew that it would hurt the both of you even more, so you contained yourself and just walked out of the cafeteria.

Wooyoung sat completely frozen. Everyone was completely shocked at your reaction. They’ve honestly never seen you this angry in the 12 years they’ve been your friend.

“Wooyoung I don’t know what your problem is but you need to fix it.” San stood up and followed you out of the cafeteria so he could make sure you were okay.

He went out the back doors of the school and walked some distance to the line of trees behind the school, that’s where you normally went if you skipped class or were wanting time to yourself.

“Y/n?” You didn’t look towards him opting to continue to text Seonghwa. You don’t even bother turning your phone off when San sits next to you, “Since when are you and Seonghwa all buddy buddy?”

You look at San with pleading eyes, “Please don’t.” San wrapped his arm around you letting you rest your head on his shoulder, “I’m not gonna say anything love, I’m just curious.”

You shrug as you further lean into San, “Just the other day when he asked me to prom, like Wooyoung said. I just- I just don’t know why he got so upset you know? I wasn’t going to say yes but that doesn’t mean he can’t let me deal with it by myself?”

San nods, “You know how protective he is over you, he loves you too much to see you get hurt.” You whisper this last part so quietly that almost San doesn’t hear you, “What if I want to?”

⋆

It was finally the night of prom and Wooyoung was still pissed at you. It's been weeks and you were honestly over it at this point so you didn’t even bother messing with him.

You and Seonghwa have gotten closer, he’s taken you out to eat a few times and you’re constantly texting. You honestly really enjoy his company and may you even go as far to say you like him.

While everyone else is at prom you’re laying in bed with your mom watching whatever’s on. Your phone buzzes and you see Seonghwa’s name. You look to your mom with a guilty look before opening the message,

Seonghwa:): You’re lucky you decided not to come to prom, it’s the most boring party I’ve ever gone to. No one has even spiked the punch yet.

Your mom snorts from beside you, “They still spike the punch?” You laugh and nod, “They do a little more than spike these days…”

Your mom watches as your thumbs hover over the keyboard, “Why don’t you invite him over?” Your eyes widen, “You’re really just betraying Wooyoung up and down these days aren’t you?” But you just shrug and send him a message back.

You: Why don’t you come over?

Seonghwa looks up from the wall he’s leaning against and sees Wooyoung and the rest of your friends sitting at a table looking awfully tense and awkward.

He watched as Wooyoung took a swig from a vodka bottle that he got from god knows where before deciding that he was going to take up on your offer.

Seonghwa stood outside your door for a solid two minutes trying to decide if he should knock or just go home. He doesn’t have a chance to do either before you open the door and look at him in amusement, “You’ve been standing out here for a while… do you wanna come in or not?”

Seonghwa walks in front of you as you close the door. Your mom is watching him in amusement as he looks down with red cheeks, “This is Seonghwa? Like Seonghwa Seonghwa?”

You bite your lip to keep you from laughing, “Yes mom. Seonghwa Seonghwa.” You eye her in warning before she says what you know she wants to, “Anyway, we’re going to my room, if you need anything just call me.”

“Prove that Wooyoung is wrong, Seonghwa” Your head snaps toward your mom with wide eyes, “I’m just kidding, go on.”

Your mom shooed the two of you off as she was too busy laughing.

“S-She’s just joking.” Seonghwa rubs his neck awkwardly, “Wooyoung told your mom about me.” You nod as you open the door to your room and let him go in, “I’d like to say it was all good things but…”

Seonghwa stops to look at your room, “I don’t know why but I didn’t expect your room to be so… cute.” You squealed as you jumped on your bed to cover up the stuffed animals that were sitting there.

Seonghwa grabbed one of your teddy bears and held it as he laid down next to you, “Do you not wanna change?” Seonghwa looked down seemingly like he forgot he was still in his suit, “I don’t have anything to change into…”

You thought for a minute before speaking up, “If it isn’t weird… one of the boys’ clothes will fit you.”

Seonghwa thought for a minute before nodding and standing up, still holding your teddy bear. You smile as he’s hugging the bear, “Looks like you like Mr.B.”

While you're going through your drawers you hear Seonghwa giggle, full on giggle, “You name your stuffed animals?” You pout as you hand Seonghwa a shirt with a pair of sweats, “Here, you can just change here.”

“Okay but don’t look, you aren’t ready for the sexy that I am shirtless.” You raise your eyebrows at Seonghwa with a smirk, “Seonghwa sweetheart, I’m friends with nothing but boys, I’ve seen abs before.”

Seonghwa looks at you expectantly before throwing Mr.B at you making you squeal. You cover your eyes with your hands as you hear him shuffling. You feel something being thrown down at your feet and you get the sudden urge to look.

You slowly separate your fingers and look at Seonghwa with your lip in between your teeth. You inhale sharply when Seonghwa makes eye contact with you as he’s undoing his belt.

Your cheeks are burning as you make no move to look away. Seonghwa doesn’t break eye contact as he pulls his belt through the loops. You whine as you turn over to put your head in the pillows while flailing your legs. You can practically feel the amusement dripping off of Seonghwa. Thankfully he ignored it and laid back down next to you.

Seonghwa was facing you as you were still whining with your head stuffed in the pillow. Seonghwa tapped on your shoulder making you look at him, “You’re really cute.”

You look away with a small smile, “Look at me princess.” You bite your lip as you look back at Seonghwa but you can still hear Wooyoung nagging at the back of your mind.

“Hwa… can I ask you a question?” Seonghwa nods while never looking away from your eyes, “Y-You don’t just want to… f-fuck me and then leave me, right?”

Seonghwa’s eyes flash what you can only express as anger, “Who told you that?” From the tone of Seonghwa’s voice you immediately knew that Wooyoung was lying. From your silence Seonghwa already knew the answer to his question, “It was Wooyoung, wasn’t it?” You pause before nodding carefully.

“Look, I don’t know what Wooyoung told you but that’s not true. Wooyoung- Never mind…” you shake your head, “N-No what?” Seonghwa bites his lip contemplating if he should actually say it, “Wooyoung knows that I l-like you… and I guess he didn’t want you to know so he said that.”

Your mouth parts slightly as you took in what Seonghwa just told you, “You like me? Like, like like me?” Seonghwa looks at you with a smile, “Yeah, like like.”

You just realised that what Wooyoung told you was a complete lie, “W-Wait! So you’ve liked me for three years?” Seonghwa nods sadly before wrapping his arms around you and hiding his face in your neck.

You carefully bring your hand up to run your hand through his hair. You feel a sudden urge of confidence and you pull Seonghwa’s head back to look at you before you carefully place your lips on his.

When Seonghwa doesn’t kiss you back you panic and pull away, “S-Sorry, I should’ve-” you get cut off when Seonghwa grabs your face in his hand and places his lips back on yours.

You pull away with a small whine as you place your head in Seonghwa’s chest and the two of you stay like that for what felt like forever. Seonghwa held you as you started to fall asleep in his arms.

The two of you were asleep for maybe 30 minutes when you woke up to your mom talking to someone. Your phone started to ring and you answered it with a tired ‘yeah?’ It was your mom, “Hide him. Tell Seonghwa to hide- like now.”

You didn’t even ask why before you started hitting Seonghwa’s chest frantically and telling him to go inside your closet. He almost falls on the floor but successfully makes it into the closest in time for your door to swing open.

Your eyes widen when you see Wooyoung walk into your room. You immediately look to Seonghwa not knowing what to do. The door to your closet is partially closed, only open enough for Seonghwa to see out.

“Wooyoung what do you want?” Wooyoung went to sit on your bed with heavy eyes, “I’m here to say sorry.” You would take his apology any other day but he’s clearly drunk right now, “Wooyoung, you’re drunk.”

“But that doesn’t mean I’m not sorry. I overreacted.” You kept looking to the closet making Wooyoung turn around in suspicion, “What’re you looking at?” You pull Wooyoung's face to look at you and you press your lips to his.

You honestly surprised yourself but you moved your hand to the direction of the closet and signalled Seonghwa to go. Seonghwa stepped out of the closet but stopped in the middle when he saw you kissing Wooyoung.

You pulled away and Wooyoung was looking at you with eyes the size of disks. You widen your eyes at Seonghwa and try to tell him to go but he points at his clothes on your bed. Shit.

Once again Wooyoung tries to look behind you making you pull him in once again. You kicked Seonghwa’s clothes off the bed and just signaled for him to go and this time he actually did. Once you made sure he was at least in the kitchen you pulled away from Wooyoung.

You quickly get up and kick Seonghwa’s clothes underneath your bed before going in your drawer and handing Wooyoung some clothes, “Here, just change and I’ll get you some water.”

When you closed the door to your room you almost had a heart attack. Seonghwa was in the kitchen talking to your mom and you walked up to them with the reddest cheeks, “S-Seonghwa, I’m sorry… I just- I just couldn’t let him see you. Maybe you can come over tomorrow or something?” Seonghwa nodded and gave you a hug before walking out.

Once you made sure Seonghwa walked out you sighed and almost started crying, “Mom, I like him.” Your mom looked at you like you were stupid, “And?” You looked to your room where Wooyoung was, “Wooyoung doesn’t like him. But he lied about Seonghwa so…” her mouth dropped open as you continued, “Andimaybejustkissedwooyoung but it was so Seonghwa could leave without being seen.”

You quickly grabbed Wooyoung a bottle of water and ran back to your room before your mom could say something. You were glad you and your mom were really close but you still couldn’t handle certain things she said to you.

When you reentered your room Wooyoung was sitting on your bed with the cutest pout, “What’s wrong Woo?”

“Who’s car just left?” You froze with your mouth wide open, “My mom… had a friend over…” Wooyoung nods but then his eyebrows furrow, “I didn’t see them?” You shook your head, “You're drunk Wooyoung.” You hand him the water and he drinks the entire thing like he found water in the desert.

“You need to sleep. Come on, let’s cuddle yeah?” Wooyoung smiles as you wrap your arms around him when you lay next to him.

His eyes never leave yours as he whispers, “I love you.” This time it felt different though. Your heart starts to beat faster as Wooyoung looks at you with loving eyes, “I love you.” Wooyoung shakes his head, “No you don’t, not the same way.”

Your heart almost exploded, “W-Wooyoung your drunk, don’t say things like that.”

Wooyoung grabbed your hand and started playing with your fingers, “But I’m sober enough to know what I’m saying y/n.”

“I-It’s late Woo, you should get some rest.” Before Wooyoung could continue anything he was going to say you turned and faced your back to him with your eyes squeezed shut. What the fuck are you supposed to do? You like Seonghwa but if Wooyoung isn’t just drunk and saying stuff you don’t want to hurt him.

Whenever you woke up Wooyoung was gone. You honestly didn’t know how he managed to get up and leave with a hangover and not wake you up.

You got up and went to the kitten to see your mom looking the most conflicted you’ve ever seen her, “What?” You looked at her with suspicion not knowing what she was going to do.

Once your mom sees you she shakes her head and pretends like whatever just happened didn’t happen, “Wooyoung just left…”

Your eyebrows shot up, “You let him leave?”

“Why not?” Your mom looked at you with furrowed eyebrows making you pout “Because he’s hungover and he can’t drive like that…”

She shakes her head, “He's fine… What about Seonghwa? Are you going to invite him over?”

⋆

After that day you never once brought up Wooyoung’s drunken words, your kiss, or the lie about Seonghwa, too scared that it would ruin your friendship but you had the hunch that it was already falling apart. Everything had been different since that day and you’re not sure in what way. There were lingering stares and touches that made your hearts race a little bit faster.

After a couple of months you and Seonghwa ended up dating and let’s just say when you announced it, it wasn’t pretty. Wooyoung threw what would be best described as a hissy fit and the rest of the boys thought you were joking.

Once they realised you were being serious they all supported you, even Wooyoung. It took Wooyoung the longest though. He ignored you for what felt like forever before San finally convinced him to get over himself.

You all continued to be friends in college, going to the same school. After a while they were finally warming up to Seonghwa and actually thought he was cool which meant a lot to the both of you.

Let’s just say Seonghwa didn’t want to fuck you and leave you because he’s stuck around everytime.

It was at the 4 year mark that Seonghwa proposed to you.

It honestly shocked you way more than it did everyone else, which was saying something.

It was at your 23rd birthday party, in front of the entirety of your friends and family. For whatever reason Seonghwa decided to do it at the birthday party your family held for you, making it all the more stressful.

You were never one for PDA or doing something private and intimate in a public setting or in front of people, so when you saw Seonghwa go down on his knee you almost told him to get up.

Everyone else was either crying or screaming and the only thing you managed to do was look at Wooyoung with wide eyes. You watched as Wooyoung shut his eyes before pushing through the people to leave. You wanted to follow him, you really did but with Seonghwa staring at you with his eyes shining brighter than ever you just couldn’t.

“Will you marry me?” Your eyes started watering and before you knew it you were crying.

The one word completely changed everything so fast it almost gave you whiplash, “Yes.”

The cheers got louder and more tears fell when you wrapped your arms around Seonghwa but it just didn’t feel right. Once everyone calmed down a little bit you went to San, “Where did Wooyoung go?”

He glanced at the ring around your finger with sad eyes, “I think just to the front… I dunno.”

You saw Wooyoung sitting under the big tree in your yard so you go sit next to him without saying anything.

You sit in silence for what felt like forever before you spoke up quietly, “I’m too young to get married aren't I?”

Wooyoung laughs with a nod, “A little bit… you’re still 23, most people wait to get married until their 30’s.”

You knew Wooyoung was right. You were still really young, you haven’t done half the things you wanted to do before you started a family.

“Remember how you always used to say you never wanted to get married? Because it felt like you were trapped?” You snort, “It is.”

Wooyoung turns to look at you with slightly teary eyes, “Then why did you say yes?”

You pause with your mouth opening and closing before you whisper, “I-I don’t know…”

A tear falls from Wooyoung’s eyes making your heart shatter, “D-Don’t leave me, please.”

Tears start leaving your eyes and now the two of you are sitting under your tree crying while looking into the others eyes, “Woo, I would never leave you. I promise.”

Wooyoung lets out a choked sob making you take his face in your hands, “Wooyoung, I love you so fucking much, you have no idea.”

Wooyoung shakes his head as more tears fall from his eyes, “N-Not the same way y/n. I love you. Now you’re engaged to fucking Seonghwa out of everyone. I spent so long keeping him away from you because I just fucking knew that something like this would happen.”

“Woo trust me. It doesn’t matter if I’m engaged to Seonghwa or not I still love you more than anyone and anything in the world.”

While you were outside Seonghwa was running around looking for you. He found San and asked where you were, “She’s outside talking to Wooyoung. I wouldn’t bother them if I were you.”

“Why? Don’t I have the right to-” san shakes his head and stops him, “Just don’t. Let them talk it out okay? If you’re so curious you can see from the window.” San and Seonghwa watch the two of you from the window.

San doesn’t look concerned in the slightest whereas Seonghwa has his eyes filled with concern, “She’s crying.” San shrugs, “So is Wooyoung, she’s fine.”

Seonghwa watches how you have Wooyoung’s face in your hands and the way the two of you are staring into each other’s eyes. He watches as Wooyoung falls into your chest and the way you hold Wooyoung. You’ve never held him like that…

You’re practically sitting on Wooyoung’s lap making Seonghwa turn to San with a confused face, “W-What is she…” San shrugs with an equally confused expression, “I have no idea.”

When Seonghwa tries to go outside San stops him, “Just- Just let them have their moment… please?” Seonghwa lets out a pained sigh as he watches the woman he’s engaged with sitting on the lap of the man who tried to keep them apart in the first place.

You had your eyes closed as Wooyoung rocked you back and forth with his arms wrapped around you tightly, too scared to let go.

You pull away slightly and rest your forehead on his just looking into each other’s eyes, “Wooyoung I’m serious. No matter what, I’m always on your side. I don’t care how much you think I love Seonghwa, I love you more okay? I won’t leave you. Ever.”

You wanted nothing more than to stay with Wooyoung and hold him and tell him that everything was going to be okay but you couldn’t. No matter how much you wanted to kiss away his tears, you just couldn’t do that to Seonghwa.

You heard a door open and close so you quickly got off of Wooyoung and wiped the tears off your face. When you looked up and saw Seonghwa you tried your best to smile at him without it seeming fake, “There you are. Come on baby, your mom wants to talk to you.”

You didn’t miss the glare Seonghwa gave Wooyoung before pulling you away. You tried to stop the trembling of your lip as Seonghwa brought you back inside with everyone. Your mom took your hand and brought you into her room.

As soon as the door was shut you let out a sob and buried your face in your hands. “Why did you say yes sweetheart?”

You let out incoherent babbles with sobs and sniffles in between, “I have no idea what you’re saying.” Your mom makes you laugh slightly and you finally look at her. You take a few deep breaths to calm yourself down before you start to speak up again.

“I truly w-wanted to say yes but not right now you know? I’m still really young and I have a feeling Seonghwa wants to get married soon and I don’t know…” your mom sighed, “He wants to get married this summer.”

Your mouth dropped open, “It’s December- Summer is in like 7 months.” Your mom nodded with an apprehensive look on her face, “What? You think I’m going to back out or something?”

Your mom doesn’t respond and changes the subject, “A beach wedding would be cute. Especially in the summer.” You really didn’t want to be having this conversation. Not so soon at least.

“Yeah… I’ll talk to Seonghwa about it.” Your mom could clearly see on your face that you didn’t want this, but it wasn’t in her place to say anything. She was confident that you would work it out.

⋆

It had only been maybe a month before Seonghwa started pressuring you to start making wedding arrangements. The two of you settled on a beach side wedding in June. Even though it was still several months away you were still extremely anxious. Everyday that passed you felt the sinking feeling in your stomach grow.

No matter how sudden, how rushed, or how short a time you have, you're going to have a cute flowy dress no matter what anyone else says. It’s too hot to have a skin tight dress or a big ball gown dress.

You had taken Wooyoung and your parents to go dress shopping with you and all of them cried when you put on the dress, Wooyoung for maybe a different reason.

It was tight from your waist up with a sweetheart neckline, making sure to show your figure perfectly. The bottom was flowy covered with pretty sparkles covering the entirety of the dress.

You remember how beautiful you looked with the headdress and veil. The way you looked to Wooyoung with teary eyes had him squeezing his eyes shut to contain himself, “D-Do you like it Woo?”

Wooyoung smiled and nodded even though you could tell he was very obviously upset, “You look beautiful.”

A month after it was time for the anticipated bachelor and bachelorette parties. Bachelorette parties are supposed to be fun right? You had practically no friends that were girls, and the ones you did have you weren’t super close with you. While Seonghwa went out with his friends for his bachelor party you asked Wooyoung to come to your place for yours.

Wooyoung was apprehensive, not knowing if he could really stay with you all night, but he decided that he wanted to spend one last night with you.

You’re not going to say it wasn’t tense or awkward because the lingering stares were too much for the both of you to handle.

You tried to put on a movie to distract from the tension but if anything it made it worse. You were too scared to say anything as Wooyoung’s eyes were glued to your lips, “W-Woo…”

“Can I kiss you?” You stayed silent for a while not knowing what to say, “Wooyoung-”

“Just once. Please.” You couldn't say no. Not when Wooyoung was looking at you the way he was.

You should’ve said no. You should’ve thought about Seonghwa and said no, but as soon as you nodded it was too late.

You felt yourself immediately become hot when Wooyoung’s lips met yours. All thoughts of Seonghwa left your mind the second he held your face in his hands.

Your heart started racing as you tilted your head to deepen the kiss. Wooyoung didn’t expect you to keep going but he definitely didn’t want it to stop.

You both knew it was wrong and you both knew you should stop before the both of you got too carried away, but that didn’t stop either of you.

You pulled away so you could catch your breath and the way Wooyoung was biting his lip made your thighs clench.

“Wooyoung, we should stop.” Wooyoung nodded but made no move to get away from you, “Y-You’re right. This is wrong.”

You nodded mindlessly as Wooyoung leaned in again. His lips met yours for the second time and this is what felt right. It felt different from kissing Seonghwa, but in a good way. You didn’t want to pull away.

Wooyoung’s tongue went to lick your lips making you gasp slightly. Wooyoung used that as an opportunity to slip his tongue in your mouth.

Your cheeks burned as the kissing sounds were the only thing able to be heard. You unconsciously moved yourself so you were on top of Wooyoung.

Wooyoung gripped your waist and pulled you closer to him before he carefully flipped the two of you so you were laying on your back.

You whimpered quietly as Wooyoung moved to attach his lips to your jaw and neck, “Woo- I-” You whimpered as Wooyoung started sucking lightly on your neck, making sure not to leave marks.

You spread your legs further to make room for Wooyoung to get in between them, “Wooyoung, Please-” Wooyoung pulls away from your neck and looks up at you with dark eyes, “Y/n… A-Are you sure? You don’t have to j-just because I want to.”

You shook your head with a whimper whenever you felt Wooyoung’s boner on your inner thigh, “I want to Wooyoung, j-just please!” Wooyoung groans as you run your hands up his back to grip onto his hair.

Your heavy breathing is the only thing that can be heard as Wooyoung lifts your shirt to grope your chest through your bra.

Wooyoung wanted to take his time with you, to make up for all the lost time. He wanted to kiss and mark every inch of your body but he knew he couldn’t, not when he knew tomorrow you were going to be back with Seonghwa.

Wooyoung knew he should stop. Wooyoung knew he should be the bigger person and put his foot down and say that it wasn’t okay. You knew it was wrong, he didn’t have to tell you that but you were too far into it to stop.

“Wooyoung stop.” Wooyoung looked up at you concerned that you changed your mind and wanted to kick him out, “Stop thinking about Seonghwa… it-it’s okay.”

You both knew it wasn’t okay but that was the only thing that could stop the guilt from taking over.

Wooyoung let out a shaky breath as he nodded and went back to pay attention to your chest. He hesitantly lifted your shirt over your head and took a minute to look at your chest.

You didn’t wait for Wooyoung and you quickly pulled your hands behind you to undo your bra. You let it fall down your arms as Wooyoung let out a groan, “F-Fuck~ you’re so pretty.”

You suck in harshly whenever Wooyoung attaches his lips around one of your nipples. Your hand moves to grip onto Wooyoung’s blonde locks as he swirls his tongue around your perky nipple.

The hand that isn’t wrapped around your waist moves to tweak your other nipple between his fingers. Once he decides he’s paid enough attention to one he switches and does the same to the other.

Your mind is clouded with nothing but lust and you can only think about having Wooyoung inside of you, “Wooyoung- please fuck me!” Wooyoung groans before pulling your shorts down, “Patience sweetheart.”

Wooyoung spreads your legs and leaves wet kisses from your ankle to just beside where you need him the most. He repeats his actions with your other leg before placing open mouthed kisses on your clothed core making your thighs close around his head lightly.

“W-Wooyoung!” Wooyoung chuckles deeply before finally sliding your now ruined panties down your legs. Wooyoung bites his lip as he sits back to take in the sight of you naked underneath him.

He slowly brings a hand down to rub his fingers through your soaked folds, “F-Fuck y/n. You’re so pretty. Too bad I can’t have you to myself…”

Wooyoung didn’t want to get into a pity party while you were naked underneath him so he experimentally rubbed your clit in small circles with his thumb making you wither underneath him, “Wooyoung please stop teasing me! Do something!”

Wooyoung honestly didn’t even realise his teasing but he complied and swiftly gripped your hips and placed his head in between your legs.

Wooyoung licked a stripe up your cunt while he tentatively watched your face, trying to engrave the smallest of expressions into his brain. Your hand reached down to grip onto Wooyoung’s locks making him groan against your core.

Your eyes had shut from the pleasure as soon as Wooyoung’s mouth had touched your dripping cunt but you wanted to see him. You forced your eyes open and you swear you almost came at the sight.

Wooyoung lifted his face from your core making a pathetic whine come from your pretty lips whenever you saw his lips and chin covered in your juices.

You bit your lip as Wooyoung made eye contact with you before wrapping his lips around your clit. You moaned loudly whenever Wooyoung had probbed at your entrance.

His two fingers slipped into your tight hole almost completely with how wet you were, “Do you hear that sweetheart?” Your face was burning as you heard the lewd squelching noises coming from your bottom half, “You’re fucking soaked. All for me.”

“Yes Wooyoung! Fuck- all for you, just for you!” Wooyoung was encouraged by your words, and your noises, so he increased the speed of his fingers inside of you.

His fingers weren’t as long as Seonghwa’s so it took him a minute to find that spot inside of you, but when he did your grip on his hair tightened.

Wooyoung smirked against you as he continued to massage the sweet spot in you making you gush juices, “Woo- pleasepleaseplease, G-Gonna cum!” He sucked harder on your clit so he could push you off the edge.

Wooyoung was insanely hard in his pajama pants, almost crossing the edge to becoming painful. Wooyoung smirked as he swiftly added a third finger, making you feel the stretch.

Your mouth dropped open into a silent moan as you came. You pulled harshly on Wooyoung’s hair but he absolutely loved it. His groans were vibrating your clit, only intensifying your orgasm.

“Fuck W-Wooyoung! Fuck me- I n-need you to fuck me!”

Wooyoung wasted no time before he quickly stripped himself of his clothing. You barely had enough time to take the sight in before Wooyoung had his cock in his hand as he ran it through your folds.

He paused making you whine, “W-Wait y/n, condom?” You shook your head and pulled Wooyoung closer to you by wrapping your legs around him, “It’s o-okay… unless you w-want to?”

“I-I mean no but S-Seong-” You groaned and shook your head knowing that if Seonghwa found the condom it would be over.

“It’s okay W-Wooyoung… please?” He took a deep breath in before he slowly pushed in. You both moaned in unison as he had bottomed out inside of you. Wooyoung was a lot bigger than Seonghwa making you feel a stretch you haven’t felt before.

Wooyoung gripped your hips tightly as he tried to contain himself. You were already so tight but the way you were clenching around his cock almost made him cum on the spot, “y-y/n wait. If you keep doing t-that, I'm gonna cum.”

You nod in agreement knowing that you were pretty much walking on the same line he was. After probably a minute too long Wooyoung hesitantly starts to pull out before slowly thrusting back into you.

You let out a choked sob as Wooyoung started to thrust shallowly into you, still determined to tease you. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as Wooyoung brought a hand down to rub softly at your already sensitive clit.

After you whined about Wooyoung teasing you again Wooyoung gave in from more of his own need than yours, he would tease you for hours if he had the time and patience.

Wooyoung’s grip on your hips tightened as he slammed his hips into you. So much for wanting to take his time with you.

“Wooyoung! Fuck- y-you fuck me so good!” Wooyoung groaned and placed his feet on the bed so he would have more leverage to fuck into you.

“Y-Yeah? Does it feel good? Does my cock feel good?” Your head spun from Wooyoung’s words.

“Fuck yes- f-feels so good!” Tears sprung in your eyes from the pleasure you were receiving, Wooyoung’s cock hitting your spot with each thrust.

“Does Seonghwa fuck you good like this? Does he fuck you the way you deserve?” You shook your head, not remembering if you’ve ever felt this good before.

“No fuck!” Wooyoung managed to chuckle at your response, “Aww poor baby, you won’t be able to get fucked properly after this. Seonghwa won’t be able to fuck you without you thinking of me. You better be careful baby because once you moan my name it’s over, then you’re gonna be running back to me so I can show you what it’s like to be fucked properly again.”

Wooyoung’s words were becoming too much for you to handle as your legs started to shake. The coil in your stomach was so close to snapping and then your phone rang.

Wooyoung immediately stopped all movements making you let out the loudest whine you’ve ever made, “Wooyoung why- fuck!”

Wooyoung looked around before grabbing your phone, “Your phone is ringing” you honestly almost started crying, “Just leave it-”

Wooyoung shook his head, “It’s Seonghwa.”

You groaned loudly as your high was slowly starting to fade. You grabbed your phone from Wooyoung’s hand and took a deep breath before you pressed the answer button, “H-Hello?”

You heard what was loud music before it got quiet, “What’re you d-doing?” You heard Seonghwa hiccup as he was speaking.

As you started to respond to Seonghwa, Wooyoung started to thrust slowly making you inhale sharply, “oh n-nothing, we’re just watching that new movie…”

You heard someone speaking in the background before grabbing the phone, “Sorry y/n, Seonghwa’s drunk. I told you Seonghwa they weren’t doing anything, have a little more faith in them would ya?” You weren’t even listening to San with Wooyoung starting to increase the speed of his thrusts.

“What?” You held the phone away from your face so they wouldn’t be able to hear your heavy breathing, “Are you sure they’re not fucking?”

Your mouth dropped open in a silent moan whenever Wooyoung started rubbing against your sweet spot, “Wh-What is he talking about?”

San yelled at Seonghwa before bringing the phone back to his ear, “Seonghwa thinks that you’re having sex with Wooyoung.” Your eyes roll to the back of your head when Wooyoung reaches down to rub your clit, “Huh? Like right now?”

You hear San laugh on the other end of the phone like he knows how ridiculous it sounds, “Yeah, anyway, sorry about that. Go ahead and continue with whatever you were doing. Bye!”

You hang up quickly and throw your phone somewhere. You wrap your legs around Wooyoung’s waist and bring him even closer to you, “Did you hear him? Seonghwa thinks we’re fucking right now… little does he know he’s never gonna be able to satisfy you again.”

Once again Wooyoung’s words started bringing you over the edge, “Imagine if he came home and saw us right now, the look on his face when he sees his pretty little wife fucking her best friend.”

Your nails dig into Wooyoung’s back as your core starts to throb around Wooyoung’s cock, “He would see how good I’m making you feel, and he would know by the way your pretty little moans sound that he’s never made you feel this good.”

Without warning the coil in your stomach finally snapped. Wooyoung’s name came out of your mouth like it was the only word you knew. The feeling of you cumming was enough to push Wooyoung off the edge of his orgasm.

Your moans got even louder when you felt Wooyoung’s hot spurts of cum cover your walls. Wooyoung’s moans and groans engraved themselves into your brain as he was right next to your ear.

Your legs were shaking even after Wooyoung had pulled out and was laying next to you. Your cheeks burned red as both you and Wooyoung’s eyes were glued to your legs.

“Has Seonghwa ever made you feel that good before?” Wooyoung asked seriously. You let out a dry laugh before looking at Wooyoung with raised eyebrows, “What did that just look… and sound like?”

Wooyoung laughed before pulling you back on top of him. One of his arms wrapped around your waist while his other hand started running its fingers through your hair, “Like a no?”

You looked up to Wooyoung with a small smile, “Yep…” you looked at the clock on your bedside table and saw that it was only just after midnight, “Woo, we need to get dressed…”

Wooyoung agrees but neither of you make any effort to actually move. Wooyoung feels you becoming heavier on top of him signaling you’re falling asleep. He knows he can’t leave you naked on the bed for Seonghwa to see you and become even more suspicious so he carefully rolls you over to your back and gets up.

He goes over to the drawers and tries to find you some underwear to put on. While he’s over there he finds a pair of shorts and a T-shirt to put on you as well.

He places the clothes on the bed and looks around to find the clothes he had just previously ripped off of you, as much as he wanted you for himself he wouldn’t hurt Seonghwa to know that he had slept with you.

Once he puts the soiled clothing in the dirty clothes he quickly puts his clothes back on so he can go dress you.

As he carefully slips your underwear on you he feels a sudden wave of guilt. He tries his best not to let Seonghwa’s voice in the back of his head get to him as he continues to dress you.

He lifts your top half up as he puts your head through the hole. You mumbled something before you placed your head in Wooyoung’s neck and wrapped your arms around him, “L-Let me see your arms sweetheart.”

You whine quietly before sticking out your arms for Wooyoung and once he succeeded in fully dressing you, you wrapped your arms around him again and pulled him on top of you.

Wooyoung smiled fondly at you when he felt your grip tighten, “Love you Woo.” His heart clenched in his chest, “I love you more sweetheart.” He loved you more than words can explain but he knows you don’t love him in the same way, you couldn’t. Not when you’re marrying Seonghwa.

Wooyoung really tried not to think about it and focused on your breathing and soon enough he fell asleep while holding you.

⋆

Wooyoung woke up to the loud ringing of his phone somewhere. He tried his best to answer before it woke you up too, “Hello?” Wooyoung couldn’t keep up with whoever was on the other end of the line, “Wait wait wait- who is this?”

The person groans, “Yeosang you idiot.” Wooyoung makes a noise of acknowledgement before telling him to continue. As Yeosang is talking, Wooyoung looks over to your sleeping form next to him.

You just look so peaceful and so beautiful that Wooyoung can’t help but groan in annoyance making Yeosang stop talking, “What?”

Wooyoung carefully gets up to go to the kitchen so he wouldn’t wake you up, “Yeosang I fucked up big time.”

Yeosang pauses and Wooyoung hears shuffling so he's assuming he’s going somewhere else, “Please don’t tell me what I think happened…”

“Are you at your place?” Yeosang sighed harshly, “San and Yunho are here too though.”

Wooyoung nodded and went back to your room to grab his bag, “It’s okay… Seonghwa?”

“Oh his way back home… so you better leave before you feel too guilty.” Wooyoung agreed and hung up. He sits down next to you and brushes the hair out of your face before kissing you gently.

Your eyes flutter open as Wooyoung is pulling away. You grab onto his face and pull him into another kiss. When you pulled away you looked at him with your lip in between your teeth, “Are you leaving?”

Wooyoung smiles sadly and nods, “Seonghwa is coming back so I think it’s best if I go…” he watches as your eyes widen in a panic before he pulls you closer to him.

“No no no it’s okay! Hey sweetheart it’s okay, it’ll be fine.” You wrap your arms around him tightly, not wanting to let go, “Please stay?”

You looked at Wooyoung with watery eyes that made him want to give you the world, “I want to baby I really do, but Seonghwa he’s gonna be here in a minute and… I don’t think we could be in the same room as him right now.”

You nodded knowing that he was right but you still don’t pull away. Wooyoung gets up making him pick you up while he’s at it. He drops your legs so you’re standing on your tippy toes, “I love you.”

Wooyoung tightens his grip on you and rests his head on your neck, “Love you.” You finally let go of him but almost immediately grab onto his face to give him one more kiss, “Y/n-”

The way you’re looking at Wooyoung makes him weak and he can’t resist when you plea, “One last time. Please?”

Wooyoung holds your face with both of his hands as he kisses you with much love he can possibly muster. You let out a soft whine making him pull away, “I-I have to go…” you nod but when you make an effort to actually sit back down your mouth drops open and makes a noise of slight pain and discomfort.

Wooyoung snores loudly at you making you glare at him, “Sore?” You nod with a pout making Wooyoung feel a wave of pride mixed with slight anxiety, what if Seonghwa notices?

“I know that look Woo. I’ll be fine, it's okay.” Wooyoung nods once again but still looks concerned, “Want me to run you a bath? It’ll help.” You consider his offer but decline knowing that he couldn’t join you even if he wanted to.

Wooyoung finally makes his way to the front door, double checking he had everything he needed. He pulls the door open right as Seonghwa is pushing it open making him jump, “Holy shit! You scared me!” Seonghwa jumped too making him hold his hand over his heart, “Are you fucking serious?!”

The both of them stand at the doorway trying to calm down from the jump scare they both just received, “So, are you leaving already?” Wooyoung opens and closes his mouth trying to find the words before nodding, “Yeah, Yeosang asked me to take them something to eat… did y’all have fun last night?”

Seonghwa looks unsure of his answer but nods anyway, “Yeah, you know how it is with the boys… what about you and y/n?” Wooyoung panics slightly but nods, “Umm yeah, we just ate some snacks and watched a few movies.”

Seonghwa nods and they both stare at each other awkwardly before Wooyoung speaks up, “S-Sorry, I gotta go… the boys, they’re waiting.” Seonghwa nods and moves out of the way for Wooyoung to walk out.

Once Seonghwa closed the door, Wooyoung let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding in. When Wooyoung got to his car he threw his head against the steering wheel and let out a loud groan.

He fucked up big time.

When Wooyoung drives to Yeosang’s place he actually stops to go get food knowing they’re probably starving… plus if Seonghwa asks he doesn’t want him to know he was lying.

When he knocks on the door, San opens it with a large smile when he sees the bags of food Wooyoung was holding.

Wooyoung doesn’t even greet san before shoving the bags of food into his hands and walking into the apartment, “I fucked up.”

Yeosang and Yunho who were sitting at the table drinking coffee looked towards him. San followed Wooyoung completely confused, “Like our order?”

“No you idiot.” Wooyoung sits at one of the empty chairs at the table before looking at Yeosang with an extremely distressed look, “We- I fucked up big time Yeosang.”

Yunho’s eyes widen when he gets an idea of what happened, “We? As in You and y/n?” Wooyoung wanted nothing more than to say no and lie but whenever he nodded all three boys in front of him exploded.

“Wooyoung are you fucking kidding me?!” San had nothing else to say knowing that you had lied straight through your teeth whenever Seonghwa had called you. But then again what did he expect you to say, ‘Yeah I’m fucking my best friend’ obviously not.

“Even after Seonghwa had called her? After she told me straight up that that didn’t happen?” Yeosang really doesn’t look surprised but Yunho on the other hand looks like he’s having a heart attack.

Wooyoung shakes his head in response to San’s question, “So before?!” Wooyoung suddenly feels an immense amount of guilt as he shakes his head again.

San looks confused for a moment before his mouth drops open, “While we were on the fucking phone Wooyoung!” Wooyoung has never wanted to lie more in his entire life but he can’t bring himself to do it so he slowly nods.

A million expressions pass through San’s face and Wooyoung can’t stand the harsh glares of his friends, “Wooyoung- they’re getting married… MARRIED WOOYOUNG!” Wooyoung scoffs at Yunho who’s looking at him like he’s trash.

“You don’t think I fucking know that? It was just a kiss Yunho a-and then I pulled away. We both said we couldn’t do it but then she kissed me again…” Their glares soften as they see as Wooyoung starts to tear up.

“And I asked her like 3 times if she wanted me to keep going and every time she said yes. I-I’m not saying it’s y/n’s fault… because I was the one that started it. And yeah I know it wasn’t a very smart decision but I- Yunho I love her so much.”

Yunho sends Wooyoung a sad smile as he continues. All the boys know how Wooyoung feels about you so in all honesty they really don’t blame either of you, “I love her so fucking much and in that moment I know she felt the same way… I just couldn’t handle it. And Yunho this morning when I told her I had to go- she kissed me again and begged me not to leave. She begged me to stay and give her kisses while we laid together but I couldn’t. I couldn’t Yunho, not when Seonghwa was on his way home to come back to his fiancé.”

Wooyoung wipes the tears that are falling whenever he finally stops talking. The three boys look between each other not knowing what to do or say, “Do you think she’s going to go through with it?” Wooyoung looked at the other boys expectantly with nothing but Hope filling his eyes.

In all honesty they really didn’t think you were, but it wasn’t their business to put out there. “You know Wooyoung… I don’t know. I really don’t know, but for now all we can do is wish the best for both of them…” San put his arm around Wooyoung, trying his best to comfort him in any way possible.

⋆

You saw Seonghwa open the door to your room with a large smile. You got up from the bed to wrap your arms around him in a big hug. You squeezed your eyes shut as you let out a shaky breath, “How was your night?”

“We had fun, believe it or not, I wasn’t the one who got the drunkest.” You laughed softly as you pulled away.

You sat back down with a slight grunt, “You alright?”

You nodded as you swallowed harshly, “I slept wrong, my back hurts.” Seonghwa nods in understanding.

He walks to the bathroom and you flop back onto the bed. You shut your eyes and cover your face with your hands as you felt like crying.

As you tried to focus on your breathing Seonghwa came out of the bathroom and pulled on your hand. You looked up at him with furrowed eyebrows, “I ran you a bath princess.”

You smile and follow Seonghwa, “I’ll let you relax alright?” You nod as he kisses you on the cheek, thankful that he doesn’t want to join you.

As soon as Seonghwa walked out you locked the door behind him and looked at yourself in the mirror. You couldn’t do this. You scanned yourself in the mirror as you took your clothes off, trying to make sure there weren’t any hickeys on you.

You carefully went to sit down in the bath with a pained expression and a groan. You soaked your body in the water and bubbles and you couldn’t stop the tears that started flowing from your eyes.

You couldn’t stop the soft sobs and the way your body shook. You needed Wooyoung.

You don’t know how long you sat there and cried but the water was now cold and your fingers were wrinkly.

You looked down and your eyes widened as you saw the bruises on your thighs and hips, “Shit Wooyoung-”

“Are you okay in there?!” Seonghwa knocked on the door and called out to you.

“Umm… yeah I’m okay! I’m getting out now!” You looked at yourself in the mirror one more time and you could tell you had been crying for who knows how long. You tighten the towel that’s wrapped around you as you walk back into your shared room to get some clothes to change into.

You made sure you grabbed a pair of sweats to cover the bruises and a random shirt. You grabbed your phone and pressed San’s contact as you walked out of the room, ignoring Seonghwa who was looking at you.

San answered your call almost immediately, “Hey my love, what’s up?”

“San cut the bullshit, I know he’s there.” San was quiet on the other line before you heard a door close.

Your breathing was shaky and you walked out of your apartment, needing to get some fresh air, “Y/n what the fuck were you thinking? You’re getting married!”

You laughed dryly, “Do you think I don’t fucking know that? I’m not oblivious to what I did.”

“You lied right through your teeth. How do you think Seonghwa would feel?” Tears started pricking at your eyes again because you know you would’ve broken Seonghwa’s heart.

You know how much Seonghwa loves you and it hurts you knowing that your love for Seonghwa isn’t as strong, “San I don’t know what to do.”

“I don’t know what you want me to do lovely… you’re getting married in a week. A week y/n. You need to decide if you’re going to call it off or not.”

You shook your head, “I can’t do that Sannie. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

You heard a sigh, “You need to talk to Seonghwa. Y/n I know you don’t want to go through with it. No matter what decision you make, it’s going to hurt Seonghwa.”

You didn’t even realise you started crying again until San started trying to comfort you, “Hey, y/n, listen to me. Everything is gonna be okay. You and Wooyoung will work it out.”

You nodded more to yourself, “Y-You’re right. Look, I got to go. Take care of Wooyoung for me.” You didn’t let San respond before you hung up the phone and shut your eyes.

You fucked up and you knew it. You were getting married in a few days and you just cheated on the man you’re getting married to.

You dragged your feet as you walked back to your apartment, wanting to take as much time as possible getting there.

Seonghwa was at the door and immediately walked to you whenever you walked back in. You stiffened as Seonghwa pulled you into a hug, “What’s wrong princess?”

“N-Nothing. It’s nothing, I’m okay.” Seonghwa pulled away and held your face in his hands. He raised his eyebrows at you, knowing that something was wrong, “I’m sorry. I’m just really stressed with everything going on.”

Seonghwa nodded in understanding, “It’s okay. I’ll take care of everything, we’ll work it out. Love you.”

“Love you.”

⋆

Your wedding day. It’s the day that should be the happiest moment of anyone’s life. You and Wooyoung haven’t seen each other since… then, but he texted you this morning making sure that you were okay.

Your mom and San and a couple other members of your family were helping you with your hair and makeup, San was just there for emotional support.

Everyone could see it in your face, you didn’t want to do this. Everyone tiptoed around you being careful not to mention Wooyoung or being married even though you were literally sitting there in your wedding dress looking out the window.

Your wedding was at the beach. It was supposed to be beautiful. There was a breeze, the ocean looked absolutely beautiful, and it was sunny.

The perfect wedding right?

San made sure you had everything you needed because you really didn’t have any motivation. You had barely finished your vows and Seonghwa had gotten his done months ago.

It was time that San had to leave and go help Seonghwa and the rest of the boys. San pulled you into a hug and you didn’t want to let go, “S-San please stay.”

“You’ll be okay darling. Just… don’t force yourself to do anything okay? You’ll know what the right decision is when you get up there.” San gave you an unconvincing smile but you nodded and took a deep breath.

San gave you a kiss on the forehead and one last hug before he went to join Seonghwa and Wooyoung.

San’s heart physically broke whenever he walked into the opposite room. He could see how happy Seonghwa looked and how Wooyoung looked like he was going to cry.

San felt so awkward but he was pained by his friends. He walked over to where the rest of the boys were, “What the fuck is going on?”

San made sure to speak quietly so neither Wooyoung or Seonghwa could hear them, “Dude there’s no way.”

“No?” Yunho looked at San with a sad smile as he shook his head.

The three boys sat there quietly as they watched Wooyoung try his best to keep a smile on his face as Seonghwa read his vows to Wooyoung. They really felt bad for Wooyoung.

Once poor Wooyoung confirmed his vows, it was time. Seonghwa stood in front of y’alls family and friends with Wooyoung next to him looking like he wanted to be anywhere but there.

If literally everyone was being honest, they didn’t think they’d actually be sitting there looking at Seonghwa. No one had ever imagined anyone else but Wooyoung standing there.

You wanted Wooyoung to walk you down the aisle but in the end it didn’t seem very smart so you had your closest family member do it. You stood at the exit of the building trying to force yourself to walk out. You took a couple of deep breaths before you heard the music start to play.

You felt like you were going to simultaneously vomit and shit yourself.

Your heart felt heavy as you saw Seonghwa looking happier than ever and your feet felt more like cinder blocks the closer you got.

You were tearing up and before you knew it, your body was shaking with soft sobs. Seonghwa was the complete opposite, his eyes shone with only love as he took your hands in his.

Wooyoung had the dreaded task of being the ring bearer, even though he wasn’t a child, so he walked from his spot next to Seonghwa in front of the two of you to hand Seonghwa the box with the rings.

Wooyoung gave you the most pained smile you’ve ever seen and you couldn’t help yourself when you pulled Wooyoung in for a hug. You both held onto each other so tight, absolutely terrified of letting go. Finally Wooyoung decided to pull away with teary eyes and quickly went back to his spot.

Usually the groom goes first in saying his vows, but you decided that you wanted to start out.

You forced out a laugh as you started, “Seonghwa… we’ve known each other for the longest time. After I realised that you were just a big softie who smelt like c-cinnamon all the time… cinnamon… that’s how you make me feel, warm like cinnamon.”

Wooyoung’s heart froze. Maybe it was just a coincidence? It had to be. Until you said it again… and again… and when you gave Wooyoung the look, he knew he had to do something.

What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t just grab you and run, but he also couldn’t let you exchange rings.

Wooyoung’s adrenaline was pumping and he was suddenly glad he was there. His breathing got faster and he started shifting his weight anxiously, “You okay Woo?” San, who had noticed Wooyoung’s shift in mood was now… concerned to say the least.

Wooyoung couldn’t focus on anything else you were saying and before he knew it you had the ring and Seonghwa had his hand held out.

Your hand was so shaky and your vision was blurry from all the tears and you dropped the ring. That was Wooyoung’s opportunity, “I’ll get it-”

You glanced at Wooyoung and you knew, “I-I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Seonghwa- I’m sorry, I love you so much.”

Behind Seonghwa, the boys shut their eyes in anticipation and your mom gave Wooyoung a knowing look with a nod.

Seonghwa looked confused for a minute before Wooyoung successfully found the ring and gave it to Seonghwa.

You and Wooyoung looked at each other for a minute before he grabbed your hand and started running.

You wanted to look back but you couldn’t. You couldn’t bring yourself to see the look on Seonghwa’s face as you ran away with Wooyoung.

You listened to the gasps of everyone you passed by but in all honesty, most weren’t surprised.

San, Yunho, and Yeosang looked at each other in both shock and relief. They honestly were really close to running with the two of you.

It was dead silent besides the sound of the ocean. No one knew what to do. Do they just… leave? Do they wait? If you ran you’re probably… not coming back.

San really wanted to cheer you on but it would obviously be a little bit insensitive with Seonghwa standing there so he contained his cheers with the biggest smile on his face.

Seonghwa couldn’t even comprehend what happened. There was no emotion on his face. He looked at the ring in his hand to where you and Wooyoung were distant.

The two of you couldn’t be seen anymore and you finally stopped Wooyoung, “W-Wooyoung I’m in heels. The beach isn’t nice to heels.”

“Let me carry you then.” Wooyoung lifted you up bridal style and walked you back to the parking lot. When he found his car and let you down and looked at you with a cheesy smile.

You rolled your eye at him with a matching smile as you got into his car. As soon as Wooyoung got in he took off before anyone could find y’all. You watched Wooyoung as he was driving, “Do you think that was a little too harsh?”

Wooyoung thought for a moment, “Umm, I- maybe wasn’t the best outcome but it wasn’t the worst.”

You bit your lip in thought before you spoke, “Wooyoung I love you.”

Wooyoung glanced over to you as he pulled into the parking lot of the hotel he was staying at, “I love you.”

“No- Wooyoung I love you a-and I’m so sorry that I had to make you go through that.”

“Y-n, it’s okay-”

“No it’s not. It was so much unnecessary pain for the both of us. Me and Seonghwa, we were never going to work out. It just wasn’t meant to be. You’re what I want- no need. You’re my soulmate Wooyoung, and I know that’s cheesy and I understand if you just wanna give up on me and just be friends again… but that’s okay. It’s better than not being with you at all. It was so hard Wooyoung- I’m so used to being with you 24/7, i'm used to the way we used to cuddle, the way you would hold me and make me feel like everything is going to be okay and I miss it so much-” you continued to ramble until Wooyoung grabbed your face to get you to stop.

Your heart already felt like it was going to explode but when Wooyoung pressed his lips against yours, everything was calm.

It was right. This is how it was supposed to happen, with Wooyoung. Wooyoung was what you needed.

You pulled away with a smile, “Come on.” You got out of the car and walked into the hotel with Wooyoung trailing behind you. Y’all got a few stares along with a couple of ‘congratulations’ thrown at you making you laugh at Wooyoung's flushed cheeks.

Wooyoung takes your hand in his as he leads you to his hotel room. He immediately shuts the door and you move to sit on the bed.

The tension in the room was thick. You both knew what you wanted to happen but neither of you were making the move.

“Kiss me Wooyoung.”

That was the only push he needed. Wooyoung’s lips crashed against yours as you leaned back so you were laying on the bed. Wooyoung hovered over you and you held onto him tightly.

When Wooyoung pulled away he looked at your dress and laughed softly, “I- I don’t know how to take it off…”

You groaned at Wooyoung but you sat up and directed Wooyoung how to take it off. Wooyoung tried not to ruin the moment completely so he let his lips trail along your neck and shoulder.

Wooyoung pulled you so you were standing up and let the dress fall off of you. He picked you up and laid you in the middle of the bed while biting his lip.

Wooyoung sat up and took a minute to look at you, “W-Wooyoung-”

“Patience darling, I’m taking my time with you this time.” You whined as Wooyoung lowered himself down and attached himself to your neck.

“Wooyoung you can’t-” Wooyoung scoffed against your shoulder before he started to suck marks.

“Why not? You’re mine now.” You couldn’t stop the smile that came across your face before you squealed whenever Wooyoung bit down on your neck.

Your breathing was heavy as Wooyoung slowly made his way down your body with sloppy kisses and hickeys on your chest and stomach.

Wooyoung reaches your thighs and you stop him, “W-Wait.”

You grab onto his hips and bring him lower so you could grab onto his belt. You let Wooyoung straddle your waist as you shoved your hand in his pants to release his cock.

Your mouth watered as you slowly jerked Wooyoung off. He looked down at you with dark eyes and a parted mouth. Wooyoung reached underneath you to undo your bra with a groan when he saw you exposed underneath him, “You’re so pretty and you're all mine.

Your core was throbbing with need but you just ignored it in an opt to get Wooyoung off and his cock was pulsing in your hand.

You let out soft whimpers as Wooyoung kneaded your tits in between tweaking your nipples.

Suddenly Wooyoung pulled away from you making you groan before he moved up and held his cock in front of your lips. You immediately took him between your lips and sucked on his tip lightly.

Your legs instinctively spread as Wooyoung had a hand resting on your hip. He took that as a cue to dip his hand into your panties.

Wooyoung immediately felt how wet you are with a cocky smirk on his face, “I knew you’d come back for me to fuck you properly. Good thing you’re mine now so you’ll always get fucked right, just how you deserve.”

You pulled away from Wooyoung’s cock because you knew he was on the verge of cuming, “C-Cum in me.”

Wooyoung groaned deeply, “Please Wooyoung, show me that I’m yours. Make me yours.” He watched you for a second in complete disbelief before he gathered himself and spread your legs further as he carefully pushed into you.

You moaned loudly, remembering the stretch of Wooyoung’s cock. Your pussy pulsed around his cock, pushing him over the edge. Your eyes squeezed shut and your mouth was open as you took in the feeling of Wooyoung filling you.

Your legs wrapped around Wooyoung loosely as he started to thrust inside of you. He was still fully hard and was determined to get you to cum twice because he can’t be the one getting all the pleasure.

You were already embarrassingly close to cuming untouched so you almost came immediately after Wooyoung picked up his pace.

The fact that Wooyoung was still fully dressed while you’re completely naked was a lot hotter than it should be, so you grabbed onto his tie and pulled him down to attach his lips to yours.

Sloppy noises filled the room from your kisses along with your cum mixing together on your bottom half.

All the sensations mixed together were too much for you to handle especially when Wooyoung let his fingers trail down and rub figure eights on your clit.

You let out a muffled sob as your legs wrapped around Wooyoung’s waist again and held him close to you as you came. Your sobs mixed with whines got louder as Wooyoung slowed his thrusts, “Nonono! Don’t! Please don’t stop- please Wooyoung!”

Wooyoung laughed at how desperate you were before pulling out of you. You started babbling about how you needed to cum again and Wooyoung cocked his head in fake sympathy, “Aww, do you? I guess since I’m being nice today I’ll let you cum again.”

Wooyoung swiftly pushed back into you, making tears start running down your cheeks from how good it felt, “Does my cock make you feel that good? So good that you’re crying?” You couldn’t even answer Wooyoung properly from the pleasure you were feeling.

Wooyoung couldn't understand the incoherent babbling but he continued to tease you, “Huh, look at that, not only are you crying, but you're drooling too.” Your mouth was wide open and Wooyoung snorted as he used the opportunity to press his thumb against your tongue, “You’re so messy and I can tell you're about to make an even bigger mess.” He was right, you were about to cum again.

Wooyoung was waiting for you to cum again before he did. As much as his words affect you, they do the same to him.

He gripped your hips tightly as your legs tightened further around him, completely trapping him inside of you so you could cum again. Once again with the way you were throbbing so deliciously around Wooyoung’s cock, it didn’t take long for him to cum inside of you again.

Your soft whines and Wooyoung’s groans were filling the room as you both came down from your second orgasm.

As soon as Wooyoung pulled out of you, all of your mixed cum started to drip out of you and Wooyoung watched with furrowed eyebrows. He reached over to grab his phone and before you knew it, you saw a flash go off, “Jung Wooyoung I know you did not just take a picture of my pussy-”

Wooyoung laughs and takes a couple more, “I’m gonna put it as my background.”

“I dare you…”

Wooyoung pats your knee and gets up to get a wet towel to wipe off the mess on your pussy and thighs, “I told you- so messy.”

You roll your eyes and smack Wooyoung’s arm, “It was all you!”

Wooyoung looks at you with a smug smile, “Yeah, only because I fuck you so well. Now get up.”

“Wooyoung I can’t…” he really really wanted to make another remark but he decided to stop teasing you and removed the sheet from around you before you moved off of it.

It was actually kinda late and he was surprised neither of your phones were blowing up but he realised he had his on ‘do not disturb’

As Wooyoung was getting a set of clothes to sleep in he checked his call log and saw like 50 calls from several people.

“Don't call anyone back. At least not yet…” Wooyoung looked to where you were as you looked up at him with pleading eyes.

“I won’t… I want to stay with you.”

 You held your arms open for Wooyoung and he walked over to you with a smile, “But here, you need to put some clothes on before I wanna fuck you again.”

You giggle as you put on the shirt and boxers Wooyoung gave you before you wrapped your arms around him tightly.

The two of you lay in each other’s arms until you speak up softly, “I told you I’d never leave you.”

“I’m glad you didn’t.” Wooyoung didn’t take his eyes away from yours as he spoke, “I love you so much y/n and I know you’ve always felt the same a-and then you said yes when Seonghwa asked to marry you-”

“I know. It was always you Wooyoung, and I’m not going anywhere anymore. I’m all yours.”

[teeztheflag]

─────────────────────

Ateez Reaction to another/other member/members playing around and accidentally hurting you

warnings: strong language, alcohol, mean behavior, breaking the law

a/n: anon‘ie, I hope it turned out ok ✨

▂▂▂▂▂▂▂ kim hong joong ▂▂▂▂▂▂▂

It wasn’t like that you couldn’t have fun with Hong Joong but you really enjoyed the company of his friends. They could be described as a bundle of joy and - well - chaos? As your boyfriend appreciated cozy dates with you he often wasn’t fond of the idea that the boys come over for a fun night - or as it often turned out a with lot of alcohol and random girls.

The party was at its best time when you and Woo Young decided to make a challenge who could drink the most shots. After you won, leaving a sulking Woo Young behind who was quickly accompanied by a pretty blonde, you stumbled outside into the garden. You saw Hong Joong next to the pool with some other friends laughing and talking.

„Joongie!“

Oh, your sight was really blurred and before you could call him again you tripped over something and crashed your head slightly against a plant pot only thinking about who the fuck would position it here before blacking out.

„Y/N? Does it hurt?“ You open your eyes taking in the surroundings and realizing everyone was gone by now except of your boyfriend, Woo Young, Seong Hwa and Yeo Sang. Hong Joong is leaning over your form on the couch petting your head with a cold material and watching you with a very concerned look.

„Ouch, yes... What happened?“

„You tripped over the cat.“

„Oh... God is she okay?“

„Yes, she was just a little bit shocked. You don’t have to apologize because it’s Woo Young‘s fault in the first place!“

„Listen, I am really sorry!“

„You guys always say that! Just stop - everytime you’re here something happens to her and it’s often related to alcohol!“

„Hong Joong, I am sorry.“

„Just go home... I am taking care of her but I can promise you this was one of the last parties for the next time.“ After they left you cuddle into Hong Joong‘s side on the couch while he puts a blanket over the two of you.

„It’s not his fault... I mean it was my decision.“

„I know but you’re hurt. I am going to lecture you later - now, let’s sleep.“

▂▂▂▂▂▂ park seong hwa ▂▂▂▂▂▂

Seong Hwa loved you and the boys but he often acted like you were a little girl so you liked to tease him by playing and fighting with his friends.

The reactions you got out if him were hilarious because the others often crackled when he told you something in a dad like voice.

„Don’t, Y/N! That could be dangerous.“

„I would never allow you to go home at night alone.“

„Give me the knife you could cut yourself baby.“

„Boys watch out she’s a girl!“

And the last one’s a term he used quite a lot but the boys were indeed not always paying attention to you being a girl.

Again you were chasing San around the garden after he decided to splash you with water from the pool while you were sun bathing.

„Choi San!“ He just giggled and managed to slip out of your hands everytime you were close to catching him. San ran around the house one time and with a swift salto he jumped into the pool followed by you closely.

You grabbed him by the neck but he was a lot stronger than you ending with you being pushed into the water many times. Suddenly you feel someone dragging San away from you and taking you out of the pool. After a few coughs you see Seong Hwa‘s black wet strands falling into his face in front of you. He lays you down on one of the outside furniture and turns to San who gets out, too.

„If you do that again I will be the next one chasing after you.“

With a last look that could kill he grabs a towel and carefully rubs your body dry.

▂▂▂▂▂▂▂ jeong yun ho ▂▂▂▂▂▂▂

Yun Ho wasn’t like one of those overprotective boyfriends that constantly looked out for their girlfriend. When you were with him and the boys he believed them to be something like brothers that would protect you and they usually did so.

Of course the sibling like relationship you shared with his friends could result into them treating you not like Yun Ho‘s girlfriend but more like some brother.

One evening all of you decided to have a play night with board games and some drinking. You ended with the game king’s cup and as Yun Ho knew Yeo Sang liked to tease you a lot he managed to notice Yeo Sang cheating at one point. He didn’t mind it much but when it resulted into you losing the game so you would have to drink the cup he was actually worried.

Jong Ho had poured tequila into the king‘s cup earlier and he knew that wouldn’t go well with you at all. A frown found its place in your face when the cup neared your lips and before you could drink it he stopped you.

„What?“

„You don’t have to drink this...“

„But I lost the game?“

„What’s wrong Yun Ho? She lost so don’t try to protect her now!“ Yeo Sang grinned mischievously at the older boy.

„He’s right. Those are the rules. Come on Y/N, don’t be a bitch now.“

„Yeo Sang, you cheated earlier so for that you should be the one drinking this shit. Anyways, stop calling Y/N something like that. You should have some manners guys...“

Everyone went silent at his words and you felt a a little bit ashamed because of how he had to defend you - but he was right, and it wasn’t the first time his friends acted like that.

„Sorry, guess we should be more considerate...“

▂▂▂▂▂▂▂ kang yeo sang ▂▂▂▂▂▂▂

„You know what? I think I found Y/N.“ Yun Ho gives Yeo Sang a sign to look behind the tree and before he is able to grab you you jump away and run away from the two other camp leaders with full speed.

„Yeo Sang come on!“

The three of you met at this camp the first time for a summer job. Despite having fun with the kids and planning on all the things you’re doing with them Yeo Sang also enjoyed your presence very much, some of the children already asking him if you two were dating or something. He definitely saw your blush that evening at the fire sight and his heart didn’t stop bumping quicker at the thought.

Yeo Sang ran after Yun Ho through the woods and suddenly when he doesn’t saw him anymore he hears you cussing out loud. He panics seeing Yun Ho on top of you looking like crashing you with his weight.

„Get off her! Yun Ho you’re too heavy!“

„Ohhhh, shit, you’re right.“ Y/N breathes in again when the tall boy stands up and helps you in the process, too.

„Well, you got me... I wouldn’t have imagined to get attacked by a wild Yun Ho but guess that’s a first!“

„Are you ok?“ Yeo Sang eyes you with a frown and you hum at him happily. You take the lead to the camp with the boys in the back.

„Yun Ho, next time don’t attack someone like that...“ He whispers to the other boy.

„Yes, I guess I was just really excited - but, I think we’ve won against the girls!“

Yeo Sang rolls his eyes at him but lets out a little chuckle in the process, too. He watches your back and how your hair moves with your walking. His eyes begin to shine when you turn around and give him a small smile. What’s this warm feeling?

▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂ choi san ▂▂▂▂▂▂▂▂

„Jong Ho?! What the hell could make you think this would be a good idea! I bet you would never try this with your own girlfriend!“

„Shit, I didn’t know Y/N was so weak - “

„What did you just say?! Choi Jong Ho I swear you cheated and pushed your hand down too early!“

San suddenly went quiet eyeing you next to him in the car. He was driving you to the hospital while Jong Ho sat behind in the back sulking since he nearly crashed your hand. Of course he knew the maknae didn’t want to hurt you in any way but now you’re in pain and San is worrying so much about you.

Jong Ho and you continue to argue and he realizes that you definitely would beat his ass if you could right now. Leaving San to think that he don’t really need to defend you or lecture Jong Ho, because - you were actually a little bit scary by now.

What their kids would have to await in the future?

▂▂▂▂▂▂▂ song min gi ▂▂▂▂▂▂▂

Y/N Y/L/N, the girl Song Min Gi had a huge crush on since elementary school but never told anyone. Now in college he decided to finally try his luck and get closer to you and that actually went well. First, at least.

If it wasn’t for the one day he took you to a party with him where one of his best friends Kim Hong Joong eyed you up. He knew that look on his friend’s face but he thought you wouldn’t fell for him and knew about his reputation.

But of course it turned out the other way. Hong Joong didn’t know Min Gi was serious about you and decided to hang out with you a little bit but when you turned him down realizing he only met you for one purpose you stood in front of Min Gi‘s door with wet clothes from the rain and tears that mixed up with it.

Min Gi took you to his bed after telling you over and over again that you weren’t dumb and not a cheap girl. The words he couldn’t spoke consisting of thinking how special and lovingly you were...

„Why did you do that?“

„Bro, what ya talking about?“

„Why her?“

„You - you mean Y/N? What a failure tonight!“

„Hong Joong, I really like her.“

„Oh man, I didn’t know... I am really sorry if I knew I would’ve go for a different one ton - “

„Joong, just stop playing around and hurting girls.“

He ends the call and turns around to see you cuddled into his blankets. A smile forms in his face and he makes his way to the couch sleeping peacefully tonight knowing you’re here in his room and not in Hong Joong‘s bed.

▂▂▂▂▂▂ jung woo young ▂▂▂▂▂▂

„You did fucking what?! Min Gi are you insane? What if something worse happened?“

„I - I didn’t know she was afraid. I thought she would have fun - “

„Gosh, just don’t do it again. Luckily only her hand is hurting but what if she would have smacked her head or something?“

„It was a dumb idea I am so sorry... Please tell her that! I won’t ever get her into trouble again!“

With on last disappointed look Woo Young closed the door and emerged the stairs to get to your room. There you laid in your bed soft snores leaving your sleeping form. Woo Young sat down and started to caress your H/C looks while examining your hurt wrist.

He would definitely not let you go with Min Gi on a shopping tour again. When the police tried to stop the car because of the loud music blasting out from it Min Gi decided to kick the gas and put on a show for you.

First it was fun and exciting and you actually managed to get away from them - but only to get off the road and stop into a full drift where your wrist was thrown against the car door. You went into something like a shock state so now of course Woo Young was beyond angry...

▂▂▂▂▂▂▂ choi jong ho ▂▂▂▂▂▂▂

„Is everyone ready? Then let’s start!“

A sunny day and you, Jong Ho and some friends booked the soccer field to celebrate the start of the summer vacation. Later that day you would have a barbecue but before you decided to have a competition.

The game was funny - many of you couldn’t really play and often had to pause the game for a round of laughing. In the last 15 minutes your team was behind the other one and you suddenly found yourself in a one on one battle with Seong Hwa.

Your skills were better but Seong Hwa was so engulfed in the game that he decided to give you a little push that accidentally resulted into you falling down very hardly.

Seong Hwa managed to kick the ball into the goal leaving you on the ground holding your ankle and pressing the threatening tears away. Jong Ho runs to you immediately and calls for someone to get an ice pack.

„Can you walk?“ He helps you to get up a little bit but your leg hurts too much when putting on pressure so he lifts you up and takes you bridal style to one of the benches at the site.

Seong Hwa soon realizes he might have pushed you a little bit too much and quickly makes his way over to you.

„Shit, are you ok?“

„That was a foul hyung and why would you push her so hard? She’s at least one head smaller than you...“

„You’re right... It wasn’t ok. Can I help you or something at least?“ Seong Hwa shoots the younger one an ashamed look and Jong Ho rolls with his eyes.

„How about you make the dishes after the barbecue?“ Jong Ho‘s suggestion causes a giggle out of your mouth.

„If it makes Y/N happy I of course will do so.“

„Karma, Seong Hwa.“ He sticks out his tongue at you and mirrors your smile.

[yikesharringrove]

how do u feel abt doing smth like a modern au where billy is like , all this punk rock and teen angst and leather nd jean jackets kinda of thing and steve is the exact opposite of him with fluffy skirts and soft polos nd just really soft and they two have seen eachother but dont actually talk to one another until they have a school project and they just. fall in love overtime? basically , femme steve + punk rock billy falling in love.

(pt. 2) also!! happy 21st birthday 💓💕💗💖💕

The university had a strict core curriculum, meaning that Steve was ten minutes late for his Philosophy of the Modern Era class.

He couldn’t find the room, was wandering around in this basement with his schedule written on the back of his hand. He was peering at room numbers and muttering to himself 067 067 067.

“You looking for that philosophy class?” Steve turned around at the voice.

The guy was stomping down the hallway in big leather boots. His jeans were ripped and shredded, and he was wearing a black t-shirt with pink font reading Dog Park Dissidents. His denim jacket was covered in pins and patches and sharpie drawings. He had Silence = Death written on one of the pockets, Being nice IS punk rock was scrawled down one arm.

“Yeah, that modern era one?” The guy smiled and nodded, reaching forward to shake Steve’s hand. His eyes were a startling blue, lined with a thin smudge on black. His hair was wild and curly, shaved on each side into this beachy looking mohawk. He had his nose and his eyebrow pierced, along with several in his ears.

“Billy Hargrove.”

“Steve Harrington.” Steve could feel the tips of his ears go red as Billy looked him up and down. He was wearing something cute for the first day of class, a chunky white cardigan over a soft pink peasant dress. He had gotten up early to do his makeup well, and was late to class anyway because this stupid building was a fucking maze.

They set off down the hall together, looking at each door they passed by.

“Oh shit. Pretty Boy, I think I got it.” Steve flushed slightly at being called pretty, still not used to being able to dress like this in public. Billy wrenched open the door, and stomped in, not a care in the world for being twenty minutes late.

The professor raised his eyebrow.

“And what were you two doing out in the hall?”

“I’m sorry, we couldn’t find the room.” Steve’s cheeks were hot as he was standing at the front of the class.

“That’s okay. you have missed class introductions, to please say your names, pronouns and majors.”

“Billy Hargrove, he/him, double majoring in literature and social work.”

“Steve Harrington, he/they. I’m also a double major in education and early childhood development.” The professor made a note on his role sheet.

“Thank you, you may sit down.” Steve went for the back of the room, flopping into the first empty seat he could find, ducking his head as he quietly got his laptop out. Billy had stomped into the seat next to him, had gotten out a notebook and proceeded to doodle in it for the rest of class.

He sat next to Billy every Monday Wednesday and Friday from 9:20-10:35 and and outside of their ten minute search for the classroom, they had yet to say anything to one another.

It certainly didn’t help that Steve was harboring a little crush on the guy. He would watch him in class, the way he would doodle little sunflowers in the margins of his notes, smiling softly at them.

“So, for the rest of the semester you will be working in pairs. I want you to go through the readings we have completely and work together with the philosophers we have discussed to create your own system for the modern era. How do you believe society exists now?” Billy turned to Steve, grinning at him.

“You wanna be my partner?” Steve gave a sheepish smile, his heart racing.

“I, um. Yes. Yeah, I’ll be your partner.” Steve dug his phone out of the tight pocket of his skirt, trading with Billy. He put his number under Steve Harrington - Modern Era Philosphy.

“You wanna get coffee after class, start working through our beliefs?”

“Um, sure. I don’t have class until, like, 3:30 today.” Billy grinned again and fucking winked at Steve. He needed to calm the fuck down.

“So basically, a lot of my beliefs are based on the punk message.” Billy was sipping at his black coffee, had laughed and said should’ve fucking known when Steve ordered a large mocha with extra chocolate syrup, and whipped cream. “I’m a very live and let live person, but I believe everyone should live and let live. If someone is trying to dictate how others should exist, they’re fucking garbage.”

“Okay, I actually really agree with that.”

“That’s because you’re punk rock.” Steve laughed, but Billy’s eyes were serious. “No seriously, there’s nothing more punk rock than being unapologetically yourself.”

“When did you get into punk philosophy?”

“When I was in high school. My dad was a real prick, and I was angry, and a lot of punk is loud and pissed off and it helped, but then I started going to shows, and talking to people, and it’s not what you’d expect. Everyone at a show is like a weird family for a night. If someone comes in and tries to fuck with someone, the family deals. I can’t tell you how many fights I saw that broke out because someone was perving on a girl, and these other guys started protecting her. And that only grew as I started getting into queercore.”

Steve was listening to Billy, eyes wide as he described stories from shows, how he had jumped in on fights to defend the family, how he would walk girls home or to their cars parked a ways down the street, how he knew everyone would do the same for him.

“God, I wish I had a community like that. I didn’t really have anyone growing up. You know, token queer in a small town kinda vibe.” Billy smiled at him sympathetically.

“That why you came out to San Fransisco?”

“Oh yeah. Wanted to come somewhere where, this, didn’t matter.” He gestured to himself. “I just don’t get why it bothers people. I just do it because it makes me happy. I don’t know why it concerns anyone else.” Billy was nodding vigorously.

“Exactly. That’s the whole truth about being queer. People hate you for something that has nothing to do with them. It’s completely wack. Like if I’m with someone in whatever capacity, we’re both consenting adults. It literally doesn’t matter.”

“Do you think we could expand upon this enough for our project? Talk about how we feel the world should just stop caring about what other people do if it has nothing to do with them.” Billy grinned.

“I think we could make something happen.”

They began getting coffee after each class, taking through their project, finding resources to back up the ideas they had discussed. The more time they spent together, the more Steve liked Billy, liked how sweet he was, how positive. They talked about having terrible parents, how Billy’s dad had kicked him out at sixteen for being gay, how he had lived with friends, saving up to get himself through college. They talked about how Steve’s dad had found his stash of makeup and threw it all away, making sure it was ruined and broken. How disappointed his father was that he was studying to become a teacher.

There was one Friday they had met up and stayed all day in the coffee shop stayed until the 5 pm closing.

“You wanna come over? I have a single room. We can keep working.” Billy grinned at Steve like he always did, showing off all his white teeth. So they walked side by side to Steve’s room.

Steve kept his room neat, a habit left over from overbearing parents who would shame him into cleaning his room.

Steve’s room was exactly how Billy imagined.

He had soft white lights, a full length mirror on one wall. His bed was covered in pillows, duvets, and even a few stuffed animals. The wall above the bed was covered in pictures of Steve back home, several with a group of younger kids, and a lot with a blonde girl.

“This your girlfriend?” Steve snorted.

“No, that’s Robin. She and I are just really close friends.”

“What’s with the kids?” Steve blushed.

“I babysat all through high school, and those kids kinda adopted me as their pseudo parent. It was a lot of driving them all over town.”

“That’s cute. That why you wanna teach?”

“Yeah, I’m good with kids.” Steve had plopped himself on the made bed. He watched as Billy took off his heavy boots, placing them neatly by the door before stepping onto Steve’s plush grey rug. His socks were thick wool and had little cartoon dogs on them. Steve was in love.

Billy sat with Steve on the bed. He was taking a closer look at the photos.

“I could see that for you. You’re a caring type.” Steve looked down as his feet, could feel his face getting hot.

“Why did you pick social work?”

“When I was a kid, CPS would be called to our place like, once every few months. My dad was a real good schmoozer, so I would always just be left with him. I wanna be able to help kids get out of bad situations.”

“God, and you call me a caring type. You’re gonna save the world.” Billy laughed.

“The children are the future. I’ll save ‘em, you teach ‘em.” When Steve looked up, Billy was leaning closer into Steve’s space. He had a soft smile on his face. His eyes were bright and beautiful and so fucking blue. “Can I kiss you?”

“Can you, what?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Why?” Billy still hadn’t leaned back.

“‘Cause I have a big dumb crush on you, and I think you have one on me.” Steve’s face was pink.

“I, uh, yeah. Go, go for it.” Billy laughed, taking Steve’s face in both hands. He leaned in, just gently pressing their lips together.

“So, was I right?”

“Yes. Very much so.” Billy laughed again, loud and sweet, pressing another kiss to Steve’s lips.

“You wanna go on a date? A real one? Not just us getting coffee and pretending we both weren’t totally into each other.” Steve snorted again.

“Yeah, I would really like that.”

[ourimpavidheroine]

Okay, @peoniequeen, here are your stories.

How many people do you know moved across the world for love? 

Well, you all know about this one. I met my late wife online in late 1998 on an X-Files message board, we emailed and then called, etc. until she came to the U.S. from Finland in September of 1999 to live with me for a year. After the year was up we relocated to Finland, in part because she could not legally immigrate to the U.S. during that time as a same-sex partner (Finland was a huge fucking pain in the ass about it but eventually they let me immigrate there based on our relationship status) and in part because we thought Finland would be a better place to raise kids due to healthcare, schools, etc. When I arrived in Finland it was the first time I had even been to Europe, never mind the country I was going to live in and the airline accidently left my two dogs in Amsterdam instead of putting them on the plane to Helsinki and I spent my first moments in my new home sobbing about my dogs until the very nice airline lady called for my late wife over the loudspeaker and let her come back and take me in hand (much the way Mako takes Wu in hand, if you must know). (Don’t worry, the airline put us up in a hotel next to the airport and the dogs came on the next flight and came to us there in a taxi the airline made arrangements for. They were completely fine and in fact weren’t sure what the fuss was about.) It was kind of a big culture shock. The end.

Or worked as a college radio DJ? 

I did! I had a show on Tuesday mornings from 4-6 am that nobody listened to but about 10 loyal people. (Kind of like my blog here, come to think about it.) I played a lot of old blues and jazz stuff that I’d grown up listening to. My Dad worked part time as a DJ at a local radio station so I knew how to work all the equipment and such thanks to him. (I also had a two hour slot on Wednesday nights there in high school where I played stuff teenagers wanted to listen to and not the never ending country western that the station owner and manager wanted played 24x7.) Yes, this was in the late 80′s-early 90′s when I was at university so it was all vinyl. I still have a collection of albums that have the gold stamp on them saying they are not for sale, that they are for radio station play only! (Some of them the aforementioned station manager gave me since they were not country and he was basically going to toss them into the trash and some of them were albums that I might have gotten through less altruistic means.)

Or was a makeup assistant to Drag Queens? 

I took a stage makeup course while I was majoring in theater at University and did so well with it that the guy who gave the class asked me to come and assist him at the San Francisco opera while they were essentially painting all of the singers brown in a classic racist move that was pretty well accepted in the 90′s but, thankfully, would be extremely frowned upon now. As I was doing it I struck up a friendship with one of the chorus tenors; it turned out he was a drag queen who sometimes did performances when he wasn’t doing opera. He was a Madonna impersonator (not a very good one, sorry to say) and he wanted me to help him design his makeup for it. So I went to the club he performed at a few times to get a better feel for how drag queens worked and then hung around backstage and ended up doing some designs for some of the other queens. The pay was basically me getting to see their performances for free and getting fed afterwards at whatever was open at 4 am but God it was fun. Also, now I am the most Judgy McJudgerson of ever when it comes to drag makeup on RuPaul’s Drag Race. The end.

Or wrote a letter to their Archbishop when they were twelve and got a personal answer in return? 

I was very put out by the fact that boys could be altar boys but girls got shit (I was Catholic, in case you haven’t guessed) and I was talking about it to my Grandma one time and she told me I should write a letter to the Archbishop and ask him why. Now see, my maternal Grandmother was married to a labor union president (my grandfather was still the president when he died of a heart attack when I was 8) and she was a good old fashioned liberal rabble rouser. Like, she got arrested with nuns protesting nuclear power plants in her muumuus and Birkenstocks, okay? She wrote letters to EVERYONE. So I sat down and very carefully wrote the letter and my Grandma made a few calls and got me the address and we sent the letter. I don’t think my Grandma actually thought I’d get a letter back (it was more of a teaching moment, if that makes sense) but he did send me a letter back! He was very kind, although his answer was the usual Catholic BS. I still have the letter but it is packed away in storage so I very sadly will not be producing it at this juncture in time.

Or drove from Los Angeles to Philadelphia in a 20 year old Volvo? 

My friend from university was going to Grad School at Temple University and her parents didn’t want her to drive the entire way by herself. So I drove with her in an orange 1971 Volvo sedan. (In fact, I drove about 90% of the trip because she didn’t like driving.) The air conditioning fan died as we were driving through the Mojave Desert on the way to Vegas and I realized that if I floored it the cool air would actually move itself and so I floored it all the way through the desert and we are lucky that fucking ancient hulk of Swedish steel did not die and leave us stranded to be baked to death. We stopped in Vegas (which was not as impressive in 1992 as it is today, trust me) and found a guy who could actually fix the fan and spent the night in one of the casino hotels before continuing on. We did stop in Chicago to stay with her grandparents for two weeks (where so many elderly Jews kept responding to my last name with confusion as they assumed I was Jewish that I eventually started to do genealogy and found out that I am, indeed, Jewish on my father’s side) and also we saw the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer film in Des Moines and went to a cowboy bar in Cheyenne (I learned how to line dance and my friend got completely trashed and I had to practically carry her back to the hotel) and many other adventures until we finally arrived in Philly and her parents flew me back to California. It was a great road trip and short of the reeeaaaally sketchy and filthy motel room in Salt Lake City that had both a half-empty Chinese takeout box and a soiled condom under the bed we had a grand time.

Or was part of a thruple? 

I have been part of two thruples. Well. Sort of. One thruple and one wanna be thruple. The first one, with my first husband and my girlfriend was a huge mistake from the get-go. (Oh god, she was so hot and the sex was so fucking good but she was really an awful person and my ex kept trying to control the entire thing and basically forced her into living with us instead of being just my girlfriend with benefits and the entire thing blew up and while it wasn’t the reason why I divorced him it didn’t help either.) The second one was with my late wife and our mutual boyfriend and it worked very well but he had a little boy from a former relationship and his son got very ill and died and he didn’t handle it at all and he disappeared out of our lives. It’s been 20 years, give or take, since I’ve talked to him. He asked us to no longer contact him and I’ve always respected that. And before you ask, he knows where I live and my email address is the same as it was all those years ago. If he wanted to find me it would be very easy for him to do so. He clearly doesn’t and I respect that. I wish him love and peace, wherever he is. I miss him still.

Or beat up the drunk lady in the hallway to get back a little girl’s keys?

Ah, I’ll tell this one tomorrow.

[gayenerd]

This is another article I found during the internet k-hole I went into while looking for information about Adrienne’s ex-fiance, saved in a document, and now can’t find online anymore. I think it was originally featured in the Mankato Free Press, but the author apparently had a blog detailing her 2009 efforts to get in contact with Adrienne and campaign for Green Day to play in Mankato again. There’s some more interesting tidbits about the Mankato punk scene and an interview with Adrienne there. 

Campaign Green Day: Reflection

By Amanda Dyslin

Free Press Features Editor

June 10, 2009 11:29 pm

— It was dark in the middle of the southern Minnesota countryside, somewhere by St. Peter in the summer of 1992.

On a farm with a barn and not much else, there was one light pole casting a shallow glow on three guys standing atop 6-foot wide, 5-foot tall wire spools — a makeshift stage to gain high ground over 200 or so people watching. Next to them was a big, old, beat-up beast of a car pulled up by the owner so 15 or so people could stand on top and gain a better view. One of them had a video camera.

Ben Gruber, then a sophomore at Loyola High School, was there. In fact, he and a buddy had helped haul equipment for the band, and even gave the drummer, Tre Cool, a ride before the show in Mankato. The music was good, he said. A lot more polished than other punk bands he’d seen in Mankato.

He was aware of the five-year-old band, born in Berkeley, Calif., he said. They’d put out a couple of smaller recordings, including their full-length debut “39/Smooth” on Lookout! Records. But they were two years from their breakthrough record, “Dookie,” which would have pretty much everyone at the show that night in awe of what they had experienced — maybe one of the last stripped down, small-scale punk shows Green Day would ever perform.

Mankato punk

The Libido Boyz are often considered the anchor of the Mankato punk scene in the late 1980s/early 1990s. It was a time when the city was rich with garage and basement punk bands, drummer Chad Sabin said before a reunion show in 2007. PSD and Plain Truth were a couple of other bands that got a lot of attention at the time.

Marti’s All Ages Music, located where the Vietnamese restaurant Tonn is now on Front Street, was an open building with a bathroom and a couple of booths where kids could put on shows. A couple of bands went on to the big time after playing there. The Offspring was one of them.

Many claimed having heard of friends who had seen Green Day play at Marti’s. According to a former talent booker, the closest Green Day ever came to playing the venue was when frontman Billie Joe Armstrong and his girlfriend, Adrienne Nesser, walked in and left right after The Offspring’s set in 1994. Marti’s tried to get Green Day to play the venue numerous times, but it was way too small for even the moderate level of fame they’d already gained pre-“Dookie.” Marti’s had the same trouble with the punk band Fugazi.

“It was pretty much no frills,” Gruber said. “There wasn’t much to do there.”

The bulk of the punk scene was made up of high school and college-age punk-rockers who would play anywhere, Sabin said. Like a lot of kids at the time, the Libido Boyz just wanted to play loud, chaotic music, which also is what people seemed to want to hear. Kids would cram into basements for concerts or listen outside garages.

“On any given week or weekend, there would be a show with anywhere from two to 10 bands playing,” Gruber said. “There was a really good crop of musician-age kids who were into (punk) for a while (before) grunge became very popular.”

During the next few years, the Libido Boyz got big. They played in the Cities and toured the state and eventually started playing shows across the country, including New York and San Francisco. Out West is where they met Green Day, who would become the biggest punk band to come through Mankato.

“They were just dirty punks like us,” Sabin said.

Former Libido Boyz bassist Dave Begalka said they played punk shows with Green Day from time to time while on tour. Mike Dirnt, Green Day bassist, actually did Begalka a big favor once when they played a show in Cleveland together.

Some of Begalka’s bass gear went missing, and a couple of months later he saw Dirnt when they both were playing shows in the California Bay Area. Turns out, the bass gear was mixed up with Dirnt’s equipment that night, and he’d been keeping it safe for him the whole time.

“I thought that was just downright a swell thing to do,” Begalka said. “As I recall, I think we couch surfed at Billy Joe’s that night. ... By the way, I still use the lost guitar strap that went around the U.S. with Green Day.”

The Libido Boyz and Green Day crossed paths in another way as well, through Adrienne, who was a student at Minnesota State University and living in Mankato.

The first lady

Adrienne (Nesser) Armstrong, now 39, was born in Minneapolis and started at MSU in the late 1980s, graduating with the class of 1994 with a degree in sociology.

She met Billie Joe on Green Day’s first tour in 1990. Some report it was a show at First Ave in Minneapolis, and she is quoted at greenday.net as saying only about 10 people were there. She asked Billie Joe where she could get a copy of the band’s CD, and the two hit it off.

While on tour, Billie Joe kept in contact with Adrienne by phone. Their first kiss inspired an early Green Day song, “2,000 Light Years Away.” Their relationship caused Billie Joe to arrange two tours around Minnesota so they could see each other, a relationship which lasted about a year and a half.

Although it’s unclear, witnesses who saw Billie Joe and Adrienne around Mankato during that time say the reason Green Day played shows in the area at all was simply because she was here. The shows weren’t a part of any tour, but rather impromptu ways to pass to the time.

The relationship fizzled after they decided the distance was too much of a strain. Adrienne got engaged to Billy Bisson, the frontman of Libido Boyz, the following year. Reports differ from either side, with some saying the relationship dissolved on its own. Bisson has been quoted as saying Billie Joe stole her away.

While in Mankato, Adrienne worked at various places, including the Piercing Pagoda in the River Hills Mall and Pagliai’s Pizza, and is described by those who knew her as a beautiful punk rock girl who everybody had a crush on.

Cheryl Rueda, manager of Pagliai’s, worked with Adrienne and three of the Libido Boyz at the restaurant when Adrienne was dating Bisson. Adrienne also babysat for Cheryl’s kids.

“She was a beautiful girl,” Rueda said. “I think the world of her. She was just a regular person.”

Thursday nights Adrienne babysat for Cheryl’s two kids, Andre and Marisa, who were about 3 and 6 at the time. She would often have a craft project or activity to do to keep them entertained. She even took them out trick-or-treating during a blizzard one year.

“She was their favorite babysitter,” she said.

Carrie Zempel Heise worked with her at a bar called The Jungle, now Dutler’s Bowl.

“I ran into her after the bar had closed down (she was working at Pier 1 Imports), and she told me she was moving out West soon,” Zempel said. “Months later, word got back that she had married Billie Joe, and then the next thing I saw was an interview with him in Rolling Stone magazine talking about his pregnant wife!”

When Adrienne finished school, Billie Joe convinced her to move to California and marry him. Rueda said it happened so fast it seemed she was gone over night. Before she left, she and friends had a big garage sale, said Amy Lennartson of Eagle Lake. She and Lennartson originally had plans to move to San Francisco together and open a business.

“She headed West that May, and I stayed over the summer to finish up my time at MSU,” Lennartson said. “Then, in true rock star fashion, I returned home from a Fourth of July vacation to a wedding invitation from Adrienne — to a wedding that had already happened.”

The wedding took two weeks to plan and happened in five minutes July 2, 1994, in Billie Joe’s backyard, according to the VH1 “Behind the Music” documentary. “We didn’t think about it, we just did it,” Adrienne said.

Protestant, Catholic and Jewish vows were exchanged because neither had a religion. The honeymoon took place 10 minutes from Billie Joe’s house at the Claremont Hotel. The day after the wedding, Adrienne found out she was pregnant.

The couple has two sons, Joseph Marciano, 14, and Jakob Danger, 10.

Adrienne now co-owns Adeline Records in Oakland, Calif., and Adeline Street clothing line. She works with the Natural Resources Defense Council, and co-owns Atomic Garden, an eco-friendly clothing and home goods store.

There is at least one friend in Mankato Adrienne is reported to keep in contact with. But said friend — whose basement Green Day was reported to have played in and who reportedly visited the Armstrongs in California — wasn’t eager to talk about it.

Rueda kept in contact with Adrienne for a while. Adrienne would send the Rueda kids Green Day T-shirts and things. She also sent a family photo to the Ruedas years ago. When Adrienne’s first son was 1 1/2, she came back to Mankato to visit and Rueda saw them. She was the same person she had always been, Rueda said.

A few years ago, Adrienne asked a friend in Mankato to go to the Ruedas’ house and videotape the kids so she could see how much they had grown up. Otherwise, the Ruedas haven’t heard from her since.

Big time

The night Green Day played St. Peter, the original plan was for them to play at someone’s house behind where Casey’s is now on Lee Boulevard in North Mankato.

Two local bands went on first. But the cops came and broke it up because of the noise. Gruber and his buddy offered to drive equipment and Tre Cool to a house on Fifth Street in Mankato, where somebody had offered up their basement. But the band took one look and said it was way too small.

That’s when a girl whose family lived off Hwy. 99 near St. Peter offered her place.

“This whole caravan of cars ended up driving out to her place,” Gruber said.

It was too hot to play in the barn. Gruber suggested the guys make a mini stage out of the wire spools, which they thought was pretty punk rock, even commenting on that stage and show later on a bootleg recording, he said.

Gruber said he later recognized songs such as “Welcome to Paradise” off of “Dookie” that they played that night — the night most people look to as the epitome of nostalgia when it comes to Green Day’s presence in Mankato. People still go to YouTube to check out the nine or so minutes of footage from that concert, despite being out of focus, jittery and too dark to see much.

“Took me back,” Gruber said of watching the footage. “That guy filming, he was probably standing right next to me and my friends.”

A couple of hundred people have similar memories from that night, having accidentally stumbled upon a concert that would become local legend. None of them could possibly have imagined what Green Day would become.

“Dookie,” released in 1994 — which followed 1992’s “Kerplunk,” having sold 50,000 copies — sold more than 10 million copies in the U.S. That album, along with those of The Offspring and Rancid, is credited for reviving mainstream interest in punk music, and it won Best Alternative Album at the Grammy Awards.

Future albums, “Insomniac” and “Nimrod,” went double platinum, and “Warning” went gold. None of them reached the level of success of “Dookie.”

But 2004’s punk rock opera “American Idiot” changed everything. Debuting at No. 1 and selling five million copies, critics absolutely drooled over it. “American Idiot” won Best Rock Album at the 2005 Grammys and swept the MTV Video Music Awards.

“Boulevard of Broken Dreams” spent 16 weeks at No. 1 on the Billboard Modern Rock Tracks chart and won the Grammy for Record of the Year. During the band’s 150-date tour in support of the album, they drew crowds of 130,000 people over two days in the United Kingdom.

The band’s new album, “21st Century Breakdown,” was released worldwide May 15 and received rave reviews. Last week the band played “The Tonight Show” with Conan O’Brien.

Their world tour kicks off in July, with the Minneapolis show at the Target Center July 11.

Copyright � 1999-2008 cnhi, inc.

[wildnya]

Chapter 3: Protection is Unnecessary

Everyone was on edge. Those who normally wouldn’t be disturbed by the sound of a dropped pen were. Those who rarely made mistakes started making them more often. The work pace slowed down, but only by a small percentage. The reason behind this? For the first time since he’d become the boss, Dazai Osamu, a man known for trying to get out of work, ripping off people who didn’t know better, and a sly trickster all around, was actually working. He stayed at his desk, didn’t complain, never tried to sneak away, took everything seriously, and even occasionally did overtime. It set everyone off their groove. Many times it looked like Ango and Kunikida were about to cry seeing the boss diligently working without a peep. Depending on how today's event played out, however, would decide if this would stay the norm for another week.

Dazai bounced back and forth on his heels, barely keeping his nerves under control. “Stand still, you’re starting to make me anxious, and I’m only here to babysit you!” Chuuya elbowed him in the ribs. Dazai not answering unsettled everyone in the group more than his bounciness. The silver tongued boss not retorting back to his partner? No one would believe it unless they witnessed it themselves! “A-are you sure it’s her?” Dazai asked his mentee, taking out his phone to check his hair for the eighth time since they’d been waiting. Akutagawa coughed, “I’ve only heard of one person that styles their hair in such a fashion, and based on Chuuya-san’s description, I’d be very surprised if it wasn’t-” his sentence was cut off by a young girl with cat ears and tail jumping and latching onto his face with a hug, legs wrapped around his torso, arms around his head, and face in her chest. 

“Hello, Clover.” her tail curled at his muffled greeting. She pulled back to give the bridge of his nose a gentle bite as he lowered her to the ground. Noticing Gin and Higuchi, she hurried to give them a hug, both bending down so they could rub their nose with her’s. “Why are you always so precious, Clover-chan?” Higuchi rubbed her cheek against the smaller’s head “you’re too pure for this world!” the girl didn’t answer, continuing to smile while Higuchi fussed over her. Pulling away from the hug, she finally noticed Dazai and Chuuya, instantly hiding behind Akutagawa. 

The two mafiosos mentally clutched their hearts as she shyly peeked at them, already agreeing with Higuchi. “Boss, Chuuya-san, this is Clover, my girlfriend.” Akutagawa introduced them, setting a hand on her head, a rare smile on his face. Clover was small, barely reaching Chuuya’s shoulders, hair as white as a cloud, coming down to the middle of her back and styled in a way that it covered her left eye. Her visible right eye was a shining dark blue, similar to a sapphire. She wore an oversized pastel pink sweater decorated with blue and purple polka dots. Before Akutagawa could introduce his superiors in return, the loud noise of an air horn sounded behind him and Clover. The small girl let a sound mixed before a yelp and a cat yowl, jumping into her boyfriend's arms and the laughter was music to Dazai’s ears that came from behind the two. His beautiful belladonna had an air horn in her hand while the other was wrapped around her sides. “No regrets!” she squealed, dodging Rashomons’ nipping jaws. Once Clover had her grip pried off of Akutagawa, he glowered at the still snickering college student.

Dazai was quick to kneel down and take her hand in his, all nervousness evaporating. “Your laugh is the most beautiful music to ever bless my ears,” he turned up his charm to it's max. “I would play it on repeat for eternity if I could. Your hair is more beautiful than all the sunsets I’ve ever witnessed, and your eyes, your oh so beautiful eyes, they’re like the cloudy skies on early winter mornings, such a lovely shade of grey. I wouldn’t mind waking up to gloomy skies such as those every day for the rest of my life if it meant I could see your eyes, for they would chase away any sad times that would come my way with their excellence. I never thought such a beauty could exist in this harsh world. My dear, would you do me the honor of committing a double suicide with me?” his words were met by silence. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck fUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK-” was on repeat the moment Dazai realized what he’d just proposed. It was out of habit from all the other times he’d flirted to ask for a lovers suicide. He could feel the stares of his companions on his back, imagining the looks of horror they had.

It seemed like an eternity, though it actually being a few seconds, before his belladonna gave him a reaction he’d never received before. She reached out, cupping his right cheek in her hands, thumb gently creasing it. “Are you okay?” her voice and eyes had no traces of disgust or anger, they were filled purely with concern and a gentleness he’d never felt before. She slowly tilted her head as she continued, “you look a bit tired, in more ways than one. I can help you home if you’d like, I know how to make many comforting drinks and foods too. I don’t mind making them for you.” Dazai blinked, unsure how to answer. His brain whirled into action, trying to decide what the best plan of action was. “I was only jesting, my dear!” deciding to play it off as a joke, he let out a cheery laugh “I wouldn’t dream of robbing the world of a goddess such as yourself!” she stared at him for a few more seconds before smiling and letting out a laugh as cheerful as his “you’re into morbid jokes I see! Not my cup of tea but as long as you're not serious then I’ll let it pass!” Dazai heard sighs of relief behind him. 

“Aaaaaannnnnywaaaaay!” pulling her hands away, she clapped them together “we’ve got some dress shopping to do, right? My darling little sister gets to attend her first formal event, we mustn’t dilly dally! I doubt I’ll have time to join again if we don’t find anything for these lovebirds, so let us be off!” hooking her arm with Higuchi’s, she pulled her towards a crepe stand “but first, food! I didn’t eat breakfast cuz I overslept, and it’ll be awhile until lunch time! Plus you still owe me, Higuchi!” Higuchi groaned at her words “I was hoping you wouldn’t remember now of all times.” “Um, Boss?” Gin’s soft voice snapped Dazai out of his mind “are you okay?” Dazai straightened up, fixing his suit and adjusting his coat “y-yeah, just a bit surprised.” he gave a shaky laugh. Akutagawa signaled Clover and Gin to join the other two for a minute.

Once they were out of ear shot, he turned to his superiors “is that him?” Dazai turned to look his subordinate in the eyes “Akutagawa Ryunosuke, you did well.” his praise was met with an awkward cough “th-thank you, Boss, but I believe you’ve missed something crucial.” “oh? And what might that be?” Akutagawa coughed again, looking uncomfortable as he said “that was Robin, Clover’s older brother.” his words were met with silence. “...eh/ha?” were Dazai and Chuuya’s replies. “Robin is a man, he has a natural feminine look.” Dazai was silent. His subordinates waited uncomfortably for his reaction.

“... Does he ever wear dresses?” “... what?” “does he ever wear dresses?” Dazai repeated himself “I need to know so I know what I should look for him to wear!” Both men looked taken back, obviously not expecting this reaction. “Actually, I’ll just ask him myself,” Dazai started making his way to crepe stand “it’ll be an excellent way to start a conversation with him!” “B-boss, do you swing that way?” Chuuya asked following him, Akutagawa close behind. “I mean, I’ve had one night stands with both,” Dazai admitted, tapping his chin “but I never gave it much thought. That doesn’t matter anyway, I vowed that his last name would become Dazai, and I intend to keep that vow!” in a lower voice, he added “plus on the bright side, we don’t have to use protection~” Gin choked on her treat, being an assassin meant you had very good hearing, which is both a blessing and a curse.

[chiefnooniensingh]

I Won’t Hesitate (For You) Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Do you have to (let it linger)?

In this chapter: We meet Isobel Bracken's brother a few years before the present. In the present, Jesse Manes is inadvertently helpful and Alex broadens his list of suspects.

A/n: As always, a special thanks to Aileen (@acomebackstory), Callie (@callieramics), @hm-arn, @royalshadowhunter and @ladymajavader over on Tumblr for their continued support and cheerleading, and my new cheerleader May (@merlinss). I don't know if I would've finished it without you guys!

The title of last chapter hasn't been guessed yet, so you can still give it a go!

Can anyone guess this week's title and performing artist?

also on: ao3

other chapters: 1 2 3 4

January, 1933

In the month that construction of the longest and tallest suspension bridge began in San Francisco, a small announcement appeared in the local New Mexican paper.

Oil Mogul Noah Bracken (33) and long-time girlfriend Isobel Evans (25) announce their engagement Noah Bracken, the youngest man ever to reach a net worth of $1 billion, and his long-time girlfriend, major event planner Isobel Evans, have today announced their engagement to this newspaper. “We are beyond happy and ask you to respect our privacy in this wonderful time,” the couple announced from their San Franciscan estate. “It will be the greatest event I’ll ever have planned,” adds the future Mrs Bracken with a wink. The editors of this newspaper wish them all the happiness in the world.

This news was not received well by everyone. The bride’s brother, for one. A recent addition to the sheriff’s department, he had read everything about the Rosa Ortecho case. 13 years later, the case was still cold as ice. He’d recognized the young immigrant that had been the one and only suspect back in the day as the man his twin sister was dating. But before he could reach out and warn his sister, she’d gotten engaged. Any objections he voiced now would make him sound like a possessive brother.

He tried to assuage himself; aside from the fight, there was absolutely no evidence that Noah Bracken had killed the Ortecho girl. And yet he couldn’t shake this feeling…

Max Evans threw the paper down on the table and put on his hat.

If his sister’s soon-to-be-husband was a dangerous killer, he was going to find out. And his sister would be kept out of danger, for as long as possible.

Present day, 21st of October, 1935

“Bring in Max Evans, please,” Alex requested of the young conductor they brought in from one of the other carriages. Alex could really only trust people who had not been on the Paris carriage, so he’d had his father bring over some staff from the other carriages.

Every time he looked at the conductor assigned to help him out, however, he was secretly disappointed it wasn’t Michael. This man was older, shorter and the uniform was not nearly as attractive on him as it was on Michael.

After their less-than-professional meeting in the luggage carriage, Michael had disappeared, only showing his face when people needed something. Alex was afraid he regretted the way the two of them lost control, especially with Jesse Manes crawling around.

So Alex threw himself into the case with more vigour. He didn’t want to think about Michael, because he was already discounting him as a subject on the basis of nothing, and that was dangerous. Personal feelings in his line of work was dangerous and led to murderers walking free.

Max entered the dining carriage. The man was almost inhumanly tall, Alex guessed about 6 feet, and was very muscular. Alex glanced at Kyle’s summary of the stab wounds; Max could’ve easily made the deeper, more smooth incisions. Only a person of great strength would’ve been able to make those. “You wanted to see me, Detective Manes?”

“Yes, please sit down. If you have you identification papers on you, please put them on the table.” Max placed his papers in front of Alex, and the latter inspected them closely. “Maxwell Evans, 27 years old. Current resident of Roswell, New Mexico?”

“Affirmative.”

“And where are you currently employed, Mr Evans?”

“The Sheriff’s department. For about two years now.”

“A fellow detective.” Alex smiled as he handed back the papers and wrote down the general information. “Then you know I’ll have to ask some questions, regardless of your guilt or innocence in this case.”

Max bowed his head. “I understand. You may ask your questions.”

“Where were you at around 3AM?”

“Asleep in my bunk.”

“Alone?”

Max flashed a smile. “Sadly, yes.” Not much of an alibi.

“What are you doing aboard this train, Mr Evans?”

“I was looking for some family. I lost touch with most of them after I moved to New Mexico early in my youth, and I was hoping to find some in Istanbul. Sadly, I haven’t found any.” Max gave another smile, but his eyes betrayed sadness. “Now I’m heading back Stateside.”

“Did you know Rosa Ortecho?”

Max Evans sat back, looking surprised. “Well, the murder happened in Roswell, so I heard about it when I first joined the department, but no, I did not know her personally. Why do you ask?”

Alex closed his book and sat back, studying Max Evans’ face closer. For some reason the features seemed familiar, though he couldn’t place it. He’d left Roswell years before, so he couldn’t have met him. And yet something in the back of his mind tried to draw his attention, remaining just out of reach. “There are signs this murder is connected to the Rosa Ortecho murder. It’s unclear how or why, but the evidence seems to support it.”

Max’ eyebrows shot upwards and sat back, whistling softly. “Wow. That’s intense. Well, I never knew about the murder until after I joined the force. I didn’t know Mr Bracken until I met him on this train tonight.”

For some reason, Alex felt deeply uncomfortable as Max said that. His leg started bouncing up and down and his stomach roiled. Max Evans was lying. But why and about what? “Alright, Mr Evans, that’s it for now. Please return to your cabin.”

“Wait.”

Both Max and Alex turned around to see Jesse Manes, who had been skulking in a corner, sit up straight and look intensely at Max. “What?” Alex asked, just barely civil.

“Mr. Evans, how do you know Isobel Bracken?”

Alex looked at Max just in time to see a flash of fear pass over his face. “Mr. Evans?”

“I don’t – ” he began, but Jesse Manes cut him off. “Alexander, you do know Isobel Bracken’s maiden name is Evans?”

Alex did not. He looked at Max Evans accusatorily. “Mr. Evans. The truth, please.”

Max put his head in his hands for a moment, then sat up straight. “Fine. Isobel is my twin sister.”

It clicked in Alex’s head immediately. The features were familiar because he looked a lot like Isobel. He chided himself on not putting it together himself. You call yourself observational? “Which makes Noah Bracken your brother-in-law.” Max nodded. “Why did you lie, Mr. Evans?”

“Because my connection to Isobel and Noah would make me a suspect!” Max ejaculated roughly, running his hands through his hair. “It’s common knowledge Noah and I did not get along, and I thought making sure I wasn’t a suspect would at least give Isobel some peace of mind. Her husband was just murdered, Mr. Manes.”

“I’m aware,” Alex said coolly, writing down the statement and underlining the connection Max had to the victim. It still didn’t make him the culprit, but as Max said, it did make him a suspect. “You said it was common knowledge that you did not get along with Noah Bracken?”

“Yeah, it was pretty widely reported. I’m surprised you didn’t see. A few months after my sister got married, I got wind of him hitting her. I lost my control completely and picked a fight with him in the middle of a busy street in New York. Noah being who he is, it was front page news.” Max scoffed. “It was never proven that he did hit her, and Isobel denied it, but yeah, after that, Noah and I stayed out of each other’s way as much as possible.”

Motive, Alex penned down in his notebook. If Noah Bracken really hit his wife, her twin brother had more motive than most to want Noah out of her life. Expect maybe Isobel herself. His father’s initial accusation may have some merit to it after all.

“Please, Isobel didn’t do this,” Max pleaded, looking earnestly into Alex eyes. “She’s been through so much and just because I was reckless and have anger issues, doesn’t mean she does too. I got the volatile genes in this family.”

Alex looked steadily back at Max. “You just gave me a motive for both you and Isobel to want Noah Bracken gone. I have to pursue it. If it turns out Isobel is innocent, that will come out soon enough.”

Max sighed, looking absolutely miserable. “I understand. I’m sorry for lying, I was just trying to protect my sister.”

Alex nodded. “Is there anything else you may have been lying about? Your alibi, perhaps?”

Max snorted. “Well, it might as well come out. I was in my cabin, but I was not alone. I was talking to Beth Otto. We met on the train and really hit it off, we were talking until around 4AM. I returned to my cabin a little after that time. I lied because she doesn’t want her dad to know.”

That meant someone was awake at the time of the murder. “Did you see or hear anything at around 3AM?” Alex said, eagerly.

Max shook his head. “I’m sorry Mr. Manes, I was thoroughly engaged with Ms. Otto. She has fascinating ideas about the future, she’s a genius. It’s a damn shame that women of her descent aren’t admitted to college yet.”

Alex nodded, but had no time to discuss the prevailing overtones of racism and sexism in America, no matter how much he wanted to. “Should you think of anything at all, don’t hesitate to look me up, Mr Evans. That is all.”

Damn it all to hell, Alex thought darkly, sitting back and watching Max Evans disappear. The net was closing around Isobel and yet something didn’t seem right.

The wounds didn’t add up. And neither did the connection to the Ortecho case. Was it just coincidence? Or a way to cover up the true motive? Alex had never encountered such a complex case before in his life. The world is made up of logic, he always said, but logic was precisely the thing missing in this case. All the facts contradicted each other. Nothing added up.

“Well, he seems trustworthy enough,” Jesse Manes said flippantly. “But that Isobel…in cases of murder, the spouse is always the suspect.”

Alex sat up with a snap, his father’s snap judgements needling him more and more. “Why? Because Max is white and male? That doesn’t exclude him from being a suspect, dad! Everyone is a suspect! And now we have two people with flimsy alibis and great motives! Yet none of it adds up at all to the Rosa Ortecho murder! Nothing adds up and we have no time!”

Jesse Manes looked outraged, his face slowly turning red, always a danger-sign. “Listen, young man – ”

“Oh, don’t ‘young man’ me, father! The revelation about Max and Isobel’s relation aside, you have added nothing but insults and judgements to this case. Unless you have something real to contribute, stay the hell out of my way!”

His voice shaking with an old fear he had refused to feel all week, Alex pushed past his father, who seemed to have been struck dumb by Alex’s outburst, and exited the dining carriage. He promptly bumped into Michael, who was standing just outside, his hand outstretched as if to knock. “Oh. Michael.” A sense of calm immediately stole over Alex and he felt his shoulders relax slightly.

“Hi,” Michael said, looking slightly off-put. “Everything okay?”

“Yes, just…my father.” Michael nodded, but looked strangely distant as he did so.

“Can I help you with anything?” he said, in a tone that said there was no room for improprieties now. Alex felt a faint twinge of pain in his heart but allowed Michael to keep his distance. Things had been so wild and confusing these last few days, he could hardly blame him for coming to his senses.

“Yes. Can you tell me if you saw or heard anyone outside the cabins as you were tending to Mrs DeLuca?”

Michael looked pensive for a second, then shook his head. “No. No, it was as I said. Around 4AM, Mrs DeLuca asked for some water. I went to fetch it, returned and was back in my cabin no later than 10 past.”

Alex froze. And yet Max just admitted to leaving Beth Otto’s cabin after 4, too.  Michael’s story was starting to show holes. Alex’s heart sank as the horrifying reality of his situation dawned on him. Michael might just turn out to be guilty before all this was said and done.

Alex never had trouble revealing the guilty party after he was certain they had committed the crime. That was his job, and he was good at it. But he had never been in the position of having to deal with a suspect that he cared as much as about as he cared about Michael.

Shockingly, a part of his brain wondered if Alex couldn’t just…let it go, should Michael prove the guilty party.

He closed his eyes briefly. It was becoming increasingly difficult to separate his feelings from the case.

It might be his undoing.

“Michael, can you fetch me Dr Kyle? I need to see him.”

Michael nodded once, and his face remaining completely neutral, turned around and left. Alex remained behind in the hallway, feeling increasingly uncertain about this entire case.

“You wished to see me?” Alex looked up to see Kyle standing in front of him, smiling politely.

“Yes, doctor, please follow me.”

They went back into the dining carriage. Jesse Manes was still there, but he got up and left the carriage without a further word as Kyle and Alex sat down. “Do you have identification on you, sir?” Alex asked, and Kyle supplied it. “Kyle Vale, 25 years old, former resident of New York, owner of a work permit for France. Occupation: doctor.”

“Yes, but born and raised Spaniard, sir. My parents left Spain after the war, despite our neutrality we felt it was best to use this opportunity to start over. We weren’t very rich, you see.”

“’Vale’?”

Dr Vale chuckled. “My parents’ little joke. We hail from the city of Valencia, you see. We had a dreadfully long Spanish last name, so they figured it was best to change it. America being what it is.”

Alex nodded, writing it all down. His leg was bouncing again. “And where were you at 3AM?”

“Asleep in my bunk,” Kyle answered easily, and Alex’s leg stilled. “I have a habit of sleeping horridly, you see, so I’d taken some sleeping medicine after we left the DeLuca’s cabin and did not wake until Mrs Bracken screamed bloody murder – I mean…” Kyle turned red. “That was insensitive. It was, of course, a bloody murder. Merely an expression.”

Alex nodded. His leg seemed indecisive; every time the nervous energy took hold, it seemed to disappear again. Alex had always had a good sense when people were lying to him. But it was difficult to tell with Kyle. “So you did not wake the entire night?” he asked.

“No,” the other man said decisively.

“What can you tell me about the Rosa Ortecho case?”

Kyle frowned deeply, thinking a moment before answering. “Wasn’t that the murder case fifteen years ago? In New Mexico? Little girl went missing then turned up dead two weeks later, yes?” Alex simply nodded. “Alex, surely you don’t think this has any connection…?”

“I do,” Alex said simply.

Kyle let out a disbelieving laugh, which died away quickly at the look on Alex’s face. “I swear, I know no more than the rest of America! Only what I read in the papers! Girl goes missing, turns up dead, case goes cold!” He sounded genuinely affronted. “You don’t think that any of us – ?”

“No, I think – rather, I know, Noah Bracken was the kidnapper and eventual murderer of Rosa Ortecho.”

Kyle stared for a long moment, then let out another disbelieving laugh. “That’s…insane!”

“And yet, I believe it to be true. When you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”

“Sherlock Holmes,” Kyle muttered, almost as an afterthought. “What a turn of events, eh?”

“Quite,” Alex said, keeping his eyes focused on Kyle’s face as it went through several emotions at once. Fear and amazement were the two that Alex recognized. It still did not give him any solid information, yet he wrote it down. “And have you given anymore thought to the nature of the stab wounds?”

Kyle sat back down, relaxing only slightly. His shoulders were still set, as if he was still expecting Alex to start pointing fingers randomly. “I’ve been trying to remember everything I was ever taught in med school about murders, but if you hadn’t chosen forensic science as your major, you were only taught the bare minimum, like liver temperature and vivisection. Nothing about murder, and definitely not about the psychology of stabbing a person!” Kyle ran his hand through his hair, messing it up even further. In the past day, Alex had started to notice the first sign of stress on everyone’s face. Kyle hadn’t brushed his hair since this all started, Beth had been frowning a lot and Michael…well, Michael seemed to be torn between avoiding Alex and wanting to keep an eye on him.

Nearly 24 hours, and a murderer was still amongst them, Alex not being a single step closer to finding out who it was.

“Thank you, Dr Vale, that’ll be all.”

Kyle left the carriage and Alex remained behind once more, staring at his notes. Only Isobel and Max have motives, Alex mused, but those are very shaky at best. Michael’s alibi is equally shaky, unable to be verified by anyone.

Alex stared at the facts about the state the body was found in, feeling a distant part of his brain tugging at his attention once more. He was missing something, something huge, but right now, he couldn’t put a finger to it. He snapped his book shut with a frustrated sigh and left the dining carriage. He needed a change of scenery, and he knew just where to get it.

[fanfics-for-the-hockey-fan]

Meet the Family - Clayton Keller

Request: Can you do a Clayton Keller imagine where you meet the team or the family? Thank you so much😊

As our flight landed in San Jose I was getting super nervous again. When Clayton had asked if I wanted to come with him for the all star game I had said yes in an instant. Then he told me his family was coming too, I tired to back out but he had already told them I was coming too. Since then I had tried to come up with excuses to not go on the mini vacation but he saw right through all of them. Even though we have been dating for over a year, I still hadn’t met his family. I had met Clayton last year during his rookie season when he came into the salon to get his hair cut, I was the only person free so I did it. He came back the next day to ask me out and I said yes, we had been dating ever since.

“Ally, you need to relax. I want my family to meet you, I know they are going to love you.”

“What if they think that I’m just with you because you are a hockey player? I’m just a hairdresser, I didn’t even go college.” I grabbed my bag out of the overhead bin as there was some open space to move on the plane so I gathered my stuff and moved off the plane with Clayton right behind me. Clayton took my hand once we were in the airport terminal and moved us off to the side.

“You aren’t just a hairdresser, people came from super far away for you to color their hair. You even went to that conference in Florida over the summer that you had to be invited to. College isn’t for everyone, I never went.” I wouldn’t look him in the eye so he cupped my cheek and lifted my face so I had no choice but to look at him. “I am proud of you every day and I’m glad that I walked into the random place to get my haircut, because I met you.”

“I’m just nervous.”

“I know, but you don’t need to be. My family knows all about you and they know that I love you. My brother teases me all the time because he says I get these ‘mushy heart eyes’ when I talk about you. Please don’t worry about this, let’s go to the hotel and check in. I told my family we were going to meet them for dinner tonight, I made reservations for an Italian place that we like to go when we are out here for games. They have a really good seafood pasta that I know you will like.” I nod and relax as Clayton kisses my forehead. Walking through the airport I tried to calm my heartbeat and it worked until our Uber pulled up to the hotel and Clayton swore under his breath. “So my family is standing right there, I told them to give us time to settle in but that apparently isn’t going to happen. Sorry.”

“Might as well do this now.” I got out of the car and started to get other bags out of the trunk while Clayton was being hugged by his mom.

“Wow Clayton, making your girlfriend do the heavy lifting? Guess being an all star has gone to your head.” Clayton shoved his brother, who I recognize from pictures before his mom stopped them.

“Really boys?” Clayton finally stopped as I got the last bag out of the trunk and handed it to the hotel employee that had come out. “You must be Ally, I’m so glad we could finally meet.” She pulled me into a hug and I was shocked, but I could see Clayton smiling at me over her shoulder.

“Sorry I couldn’t come with Clayton over the summer to visit, that is one of my busiest times of the year. Everyone wants fun, colorful hair for the summer.” It was true I barely got one day off a week for the entire summer, Clayton wanted me to come for a little bit of time but the money was too good to pass up when I wanted to eventually wanted to own my own business.

“Don’t worry about it hun, I’m just so glad we are meeting now. I’m sorry that we ambushed you too, I was just too excited.”

“Mom, we just got off a flight so I’m sure Ally wants to go freshen up and relax for a little bit before we have dinner. Can we go up to our room now?”

“Of course honey, I just missed you so much. I couldn’t wait.”

“It’s fine mom, I know I’m tired and Ally had a last minute client at 6 this morning. So we need to rest.” His mom nods and gives both of us a hug before we go check in and head up to our room. It was a beautiful suite that had amazing views of downtown. “That wasn’t too bad, right?”

“No, I’m still a little nervous for dinner but your mom is really nice.”

“Good, now come nap with me for an hour before we have to start to get ready for dinner. Because starting tomorrow I have to do stuff for the all star game and I won’t get to cuddle you as much as I want to.” I kicked off my sandals before curling up in the large, plush bed with Clayton, resting my head on his chest. I fell asleep quickly the last minute coloring and the stress of meeting his family had me drained.

I woke up first and moved to the bathroom, enjoying the shower as I cleaned off the stale air of the plane. I wrapped a towel around me just as Clayton stepped into the bathroom. “No showering together?”

“No, I can’t talk to your mom while I keep thinking about how we were in the shower together an hour before hand. Go shower, I’m gonna get ready.” I pulled on a sundress and started to curl my hair, I really like how my hair was colored right now. It was my natural light brown up top and then became bluer as it reached the tips. Clayton had assured me I didn’t need to change it back to a completely natural color. When Clayton did step out of the bathroom I couldn’t take my eyes off of him, he stepped out into the main area of our room completely naked.

“Like what you see?”

“You are a troublemaker. I saw a Starbucks in the lobby, I need caffeine so I’m gonna go get coffee while you put on clothes.”

“You are no fun.” Grabbing my purse I head downstairs and order my iced coffee before finding a seat in the lobby.

“Hey Ally.” I looked up to see Clayton’s younger brother walking towards me.

“Jake, right?”

“Yeah, Clayton still beautifying himself?”

“He was almost done but I needed coffee so I came down early. Where are your parents?”

“They were going to get Clayton.” He looks at me before speaking again. “You know he is crazy in love with you, right?”

“I feel the same way about him, he is my favorite person in the world.”

“And she is mine.” I turn around to see Clayton and his parents standing behind us. “Best haircut I ever got.” I smile at the memory as his mom sighs.

“Who knew you are a romantic like your father?” Both sons grown as they kiss and I just laugh, I think that I would get along with Clayton’s family just fine.

Request are open!

[adventuresaroundasia]

This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclosure for more info. 

After five years of living in China, and two years of This Beijing Life, things have changed. I left my job as a college counselor in China, and now I’m living a life on my terms. I’m my own boss, I travel when I want, and live where I want. I’m FINALLY living my dream of location independence.

I hope you’ll all follow me along on my new journey: The Freedom Life.

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What I Was Up to in March

This March was a BUSY month full of USA travel. From my bachelorette party in Denver to a Southwest US road trip (including California, Vegas, and the Grand Canyon), to a few weekend trips from Palm Desert, I barely had any time to get work done! That said, this month was awesome, and I had a ton of fun moments and memories.

Where I Was This Month

Palm Desert, California

Denver, Colorado

Slab City, California

Idyllwild, California

Los Angeles, California

San Diego, California

Las Vegas, Nevada

Flagstaff, Arizona

The Grand Canyon!

Joshua Tree, California

Palm Springs, California

All the girls at brunch!

Highlights

Overall, this month was pretty awesome! Here are some of my favorite moments.

My Denver Bachelorette Party!

Right at the start of March, I headed over to Denver for my (very early) Bachelorette Party!!

While some people may think Denver is weird for a bachelorette destination, I thought it was perfect. Firstly, Denver is a really awesome and affordable city, making it a great place to have a party without breaking the bank. Secondly, my friends are ALL OVER the US, and Denver is a hub for multiple airlines, making it super easy and affordable for all my friends to meet in one place.

While I knew my bachelorette party would be fun (just based on all the awesome people attending), it ended up really exceeding my expectations. The girls, lead by my Maid of Honor Sarah, really planned such an epic weekend. They found a super cute Airbnb with room for all six of us and planned an epic day of celebrating.

First, we had brunch with unlimited mimosas and bloody mary’s (my favorite!). Next, we did a brewery tour in a tuk-tuk! (Which is awesome because I used to lead tuk tuk brewery tours in Beijing). The girls actually created a hilarious scavenger hunt, which had me getting proposed to (multiple times), rubbing the heads of bald strangers, getting carried around in a bar, and plenty more. The best part was that people in Denver are SO NICE. Seriously, everyone we met wanted to make sure I had a fantastic bachelorette, and people were so eager to check off items on my scavenger hunt.

It was honestly the perfect bachelorette and I could’ve asked for more!

Bronte, Annisa and I in San Diego!

Southwest US Road Trip

If you didn’t already know, I went on an epic 2-week Southwest road trip this March! Two of Chris’ brothers and their girlfriends flew over to the US, and the six of us rented the world’s best ultimate soccer mom mini van for our trip, which we fondly named Bessie Lou.

This van took us from LA to San Diego, Vegas, Flagstaff, the Grand Canyon, Joshua Tree, Palm Springs and back to LA! She was brand new with 45 miles on her when we left, and by the time we brought her back she had almost 2,000 miles on her…

This two-week road trip was tons of fun, especially since the two couples that joined us had never been to the US before. I was also able to go to a ton of places I’d never seen, like Joshua Tree and the Grand Canyon! None of us were ready to leave when the trip was over. We had such a great time, and I can’t wait to plan another trip with them again.

Waiting for the Thunder From Down Under

Girls Night in Vegas

While Chris had his Bachelor Party in Vegas, the girls all went out to celebrate my friend (and Chris’ brother’s girlfriend) Bronte’s birthday. Rather than sitting at home wondering what all our men were up to, we planned a day that was just as wild as theirs.

After a little discount shopping at Ross and a solid hour of getting lost trying to find a Starbucks, the girls all met up on the Strip for dinner and drinks. We all bought VIP tickets to Thunder Down Under, which was definitely a crazy show! I was even called up onstage (I almost had a heart attack), but thankfully it was just to win a free calendar. Whew!

Overall, it was a pretty fun bonding experience with all the girls, and we didn’t end up going to bed until almost 4 am. Granted, we paid for it the next day, with hangovers, blistered feet, and a 10 am checkout.

Hello Grand Canyon!

Hiking The Grand Canyon and Joshua Tree

I can finally say I’ve seen the Grand Canyon! I absolutely loved the Flagstaff and Joshua Tree portions of our trip. We got to unpack and stay at some super cute Airbnb properties where we could actually cook healthy-ish meals.

The best place we stayed was definitely a cute little forest cabin in Mountainare (near Flagstaff). In the evenings we’d cook dinner, have a few drinks, and play the world’s hardest game of charades called “God Hates Charades“. I actually had to act out Nicholas Cage taking out a life insurance policy on Wolverine.

The National Parks themselves were also amazing. The Grand Canyon is stunning, and I definitely want to go back and do some longer hikes around there another time. Joshua Tree was also beautiful, and we did the 29 Palms hike to a desert Oasis. Since California has been a bit rainy this year, the entire mountain was covered in beautiful wildflowers!

Some art from Slab City

Day Trips to Slab City and Idyllwild

This March, my parents wanted to show us some of the cute towns and interesting places around Palm Desert. Our first trip was to Salvation Mountain and Slab City, which is basically Burning Man all year long. Salvation Mountain is a giant hill in the desert that’s been painted and decorated like it’s straight out of Dr. Seuss with a ton of religious quotes. I honestly could’ve stayed here for hours taking pictures.

Meanwhile, Slab City has a ton of people living off the grid and a bunch of artists creating the coolest sculptures out of trash and recycling. We even had a super interesting conversation with a guy who had glued mutilated Barbie’s all over his car as a statement about body image. He explained that his sister was born with a physical disability, and would ask how many surgeries it would take her to look like Barbie. Since then, he’s had a major issue with Barbie and its representation of stereotypical standards of beauty.

Finally, my family, Chris and I took a day trip to Idyllwild, which is a very cute mountain town. We had great Mexican food, partook in a coffee tasting, and wandered around all the little shops. I even purchased a pair of socks that say “my cat is f-ing cool” with an old school picture of a little girl petting a cat.

This sign is much smaller than I thought it would be

Losing Inches (But Not Pounds)

As many of you know, I’ve been putting in a lot of effort to exercise, eat healthy, and get to a weight that’s appropriate for me and my body. I’ve been putting in a TON of work, but not really seeing much of a difference on the scale. I know I’m probably transitioning muscle into fat, but still… my weight is far too high for someone who’s only 5’4″.

That said, I’ve been using tape measurements weekly, and I’ve seen a huge difference there! I’ve lost an inch off my chest, another inch off each of my arms, 2 inches off each of my thighs, another two inches off my hips, and THREE inches off my waist! However, despite all of these changes, I’ve only actually lost 5 lbs. WTF?

In addition to measuring myself, I also decided to try on my wedding dress (which I bought off the rack) to see how it fit. I definitely noticed my dress was easier to zip up and fit much better, but it wasn’t until my mom took a few pictures that I realized how much my work has paid off.

It seriously looks like I’ve lost 15 pounds. I’m not joking.

Everyone: my parents, my friends, my nutritionist, all FREAKED OUT when they saw the photos. My nutritionist even showed the photos to everyone in her office. I seriously wish I could show you guys the before and after photos because they’re crazy (unfortunately it’s my wedding dress so I have to hold off for now).

If you’re trying to lose weight and you don’t see the numbers on the scale changing, try using a measuring tape and taking photos. I don’t notice a big difference in my week to week photos, but the before and after of my wedding dress is CRAZY.

While it is frustrating that I can’t seem to get the scale to move, the pictures and measuring tape speaks for itself. At least something is working.

Getting proposed to by a bartender with a lemon ring

Meeting another bachelorette!

Challenges

Not everything this month was perfect. Here were some of my rougher moments.

I Forgot My Phone in California for my Bachelorette in Denver…

After getting dropped off at the airport I realized I was forgetting something. My phone! Unfortunately, even if I was able to get in touch with anyone, there would be no time for my mom to drive all the way back home, grab my phone, and make it back to the airport in time, so I was just out of luck.

Thankfully I brought my computer so I was able to get in touch with someone to come pick me up from the train station, but not having a phone was definitely a bit stressful.

Being phoneless definitely made for a very fiance-free bachelorette weekend. I couldn’t text him even if I wanted to!

Unfortunately for me, I had to be really reliant on other people to take photos, which ended up working out in the long run. In the end, it wasn’t ideal, but if I’m going to forget a phone on a trip, at least it was a short one!

At least it looked pretty?

So Much Snow in Denver

Usually, March in Denver isn’t too cold, but this year the snow was CRAZY! The day of my bachelorette it really started coming down, and our brewery tour leader had to switch to his car to get us back home! Thankfully, no one’s flights were delayed for more than a few hours, and Denver definitely does not shut down in the snow.

If this were Seattle, all of the breweries would’ve been empty once it started snowing. But Denver is completely flat and people are used to it, so despite the multiple inches of snow on the road, people kept partying all evening!

Unfortunately, one of the girls didn’t bring boots and her ballet flats were NOT doing the job. I’m honestly surprised her feet didn’t just fall off. When I went to the airport on Sunday evening, the temperature was -1 Fahrenheit and my coat was NOT good enough for that kind of weather. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced a place that cold before!

I hate packing almost as much as this guy hates dolphins

Packing All My Stuff… AGAIN.

If there’s one thing I hate about my lifestyle, it’s packing everything up and moving every few months. Why do I have so much stuff? Where does it all come from??

Chris and I have managed to easily get our bags down to 23 kilos (50 lbs), especially if we can check two bags. However, we discovered our flight from Beijing to Vietnam at the beginning of April, only allows ONE 20 kilo bag!! We tried to add weight to our one bag, or buy a second checked bag, but neither were options for “such a short flight”. The only option was to pay $15 USD per extra kilo at the airport. WTF CHINA EASTERN??

We even spent an hour on hold with the China Eastern US office only to get a girl that literally had no idea and couldn’t help us at all. Her only advice was to call the Beijing airport and ask them. Why?? What???

Usually this wouldn’t be such a big deal, but A) I’m traveling with a wedding dress that takes up half my small carry-on suitcase so I can’t just put all my heavy stuff in there, and B) it’s really hard for me to find CGM (curly girl method) approved products in Vietnam, so I wanted to stock up and bring them over. Unfortunately for me, I had to make some tough choices…

In the end, our suitcases were both 22 kilos, but thankfully the check-in staff said NOTHING. They also didn’t mind that Chris had 2 personal items in addition to his carry on and that our carryons were all way over the weight limit. Ummm thanks, China Eastern? We totally would’ve just bought a second bag if you’d offered it for less than the price of a new organ.

California sea lion!

Getting Super Sick on the Road Trip

During the road trip, most of us got some weird variant of the flu. It honestly sounded like the plague in our minivan. After one day in Vegas trying not to die, and a full day of driving to Flagstaff, I was happy to skip out on Sonoma and spend the entire day sleeping and watching movies in our little cottage. It was definitely necessary.

So many temptations

Eating Out For Every Meal

After making tons of progress getting fit and eating healthy, it was really hard to keep the momentum going on a road trip. Why is eating out in the US so unhealthy? I tried to make good choices for every meal, but finding good healthy food while traveling is easier said than done.

You’ve got some mean drivers San Diego…

Stressful Driving in San Diego

While I’m comfortable driving, I’ve actually never driven a car as big as Bessie Lou before. This 7-seater minivan was GIANT (seriously, I don’t know how they can call it a mini van). While I eventually got used to her extreme size, navigating the highways and roads in LA, San Diego, and Vegas was a nightmare. Firstly, California drivers are MEAN. WHY ARE YOU ALL SO MEAN???

Do you want to change lanes? These people will legit speed up. People complain about LA, but driving in San Diego was worse. To get anywhere I had to get on and off multiple highways, which were all extremely confusing. Every time I needed to get into town, I had to go on a highway, immediately get off at the first exit onto another highway, change over five lanes and then immediately get off at the next exit. This meant I had approximately 2 minutes to change over five lanes on a super busy highway where no one will let you over.

No wonder everyone from Washington hates California drivers. You guys are all a-holes. Don’t even pretend like this fact surprises you.

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas… including my kindle.

Leaving my Kindle in Vegas

Guess who forgot her kindle at the pool in Vegas and didn’t notice until she was literally about to leave the US? This girl!

Thankfully the hotel had it and was happy to mail it to me for a fee. Unfortunately for me, I only had 2 days left in the US and there was no way I could get it in time, so I had to run to a Target and buy a new Kindle (I do not want to try and find a Kindle in Vietnam). Maybe I can sell my old one when I get home?

My mom looking fashionable in Idyllwild

What I Wrote in March

March was extremely busy, so I didn’t have much time to write, but I did crank out two posts!

Zhang Mama – The Best Hole in the Wall Restaurant in Beijing

The Freedom Life: February 2019

Best Instagram Shots

I’m excited to move back to Hoi An, and apparently, you’re all excited for me to move back too!

  View this post on Instagram

  Guess what? I’m moving back to Hoi An in April! Between now and then I’ve got a lot of adventures planned though: 2 week US road trip, a week in Beijing (!!) and then I’ll have the next 5 months in Hoi An! Which of these adventures are you most excited for? Let me know in a comment!

A post shared by Richelle (@adventuresaroundasia) on Mar 16, 2019 at 11:25am PDT

I don’t usually do selfies on Instagram, but I made an exception and apparently you all don’t mind! How can I complain about not being able to fit all my hair products without showing off my hair?

  View this post on Instagram

  What’s weighing down your bag when you travel or move abroad? Over the last few days, I’ve had to pack up everything I own (AGAIN). You’d think that after a year and a half of this I’d have it down, but apparently not. I just keep getting worse! Where does all this stuff come from?? 😧😧 I mean, if I was just hopping from one SE Asian country to the next, things might be easier, but with the weather differences and huge long- haul flights, I need entirely different wardrobes. Seriously, I was just in Denver where it was -1 FAHRENHEIT and soon I’ll be in Vietnam at the start of the super duper hot and humid season. But of course, since I’m a girl, I’ve got my guilty pleasures. And you’d be surprised what it is that’s weighing down my suitcase. Nope- it’s not clothes, shoes or makeup. It’s HAIR PRODUCTS. Yep, I discovered the Curly Girl Method and now I have a problem. Half the weight of my suitcase is a bunch of bottles of silicone-free conditioner and curly Girl styling products. Sue me. Oh yeah, and I’ve got a wedding dress that’s coming everywhere with me too, so that’s fun! 😂😭 what weighs down your suitcase? Let me know in a comment!

A post shared by Richelle (@adventuresaroundasia) on Mar 20, 2019 at 4:52pm PDT

Travel Product I Can’t Live Without

I learned this month that I can’t survive without a kindle! While I love a good physical book, packing tons of books while traveling just isn’t practical. Plus, it can be super hard to find good English-language books on the road. I invested in a Kindle when I first moved to China to teach English, and now I’m on Kindle #3!  (I dropped the first one, and left the second one in Vegas… whoops).

Seriously, if you live abroad or travel long-term, you don’t want to be without one of these. It’s super easy to buy books on the Amazon store and download them directly to your Kindle wherever you are.

If you want some good travel book recommendations, check out Undress Me in the Temple of Heaven, Kosher Chinese, Wild, Love with a Chance of Drowning, and What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding.

Megan’s poor feet!!

Favorite Outfit of the Month

This month I rented a gorgeous long-sleeved red dress from Rent the Runway for my Bachelorette and it was perfect! Not only was this dress super flattering, but it was also extremely comfortable. I’m 100% getting a replica of this dress made when I’m in Vietnam.

What I’m Listening To

My interview on the Comes With Baggage Podcast! My fiance Chris and his friend Kaitlyn have just started an epic travel podcast, and I’m the guest for episode 2! If you’re at all interested in learning about our marriage visa problems, how I got started traveling or teaching abroad in China, you’re going to want to check out this episode!

[button url=”https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/comes-with-baggage/id1457250570?mt=2″ label=”Listen to the Podcast!” size=”large” target=”_blank”]

Best Reads of March

Here are my favorite blog posts from the month of March!

My ‘Interesting’ Experience at the Kumbh Mela Festival – Vicky Flip Flop Travels

Wow! Vicky’s description of this festival is incredible! As I’m reading it, I can imagine the full-on culture shock of attending the largest Hindu festival in the world. This post both makes me want to go… and not go.

How I Became a Successful Travel Blogger – Adventurous Kate

This post was a bit different than I thought it would be, but I actually really liked it. Rather than a post filled with advice, Kate tells the full story of how she got into travel blogging, and the business and life decisions she made that helped her career. She also talks a lot about her upbringing and how that helped push her along this path.

Top 7 Quirky Things to do in Kaohsiung Taiwan – Journalist on the Run

I was LITERALLY just talking with Chris about doing another Taiwan trip, and he mentioned Kaohsiung. When I said “What is there to do in Kaohsiung? Why don’t we just go to Kenting for the beaches?” he mentioned Kaohsiung was worth visiting. What is there to do in Kaohsiung? Well, now I know!

Shorts and snow in Idyllwild

What’s Next for April 2019?

Well… April is already half over, but I can still keep you in suspense! At the beginning of April, I’m heading to Beijing for 5 days of touristing and meeting up with old friends… oh, and eating ALL THE FOODS. Next, I’m heading to Vietnam where I’ll be staying for 5 months! I’ll be finding a good house, joining a coworking space, and enjoying the tropical weather in my hotel’s pool!

The Freedom Life: March 2019 This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclosure for more info.  After five years of living in China, and two years of 

[itsalliepg]

The Reason – Horatio X Dani (MC) – #LoveHacks Fanfic

SUMMARY: During a walk, Horatio and Dani (MC) talk about their love lives and can’t hide their feelings anymore.

PAIRING: Horatio X Dani (MC)

RATING: Everyone

WORDS: 1.734

NOTE: Hey! Here’s my entry for ChoicesCreates65 – Non-Canon Couples! When I saw the theme I immediately thought about #LoveHacks and how I wanted Horatio as a LI, but writing it was a bit difficult because I had to deny MC and Mark (who I absolutely love and miss so much) together! So I renamed my MC and used the default name, Dani, and things got easier LOL. I have to say that I really enjoyed writing about this pairing and, who knows, maybe I might write about them again!  English isn’t my native language. I write to practice and learn, so please sorry any mistakes. I hope you like it, and if you do, I’d appreciate if you like/comment/reblog! Tagging @clonedhayden. And also @alanakusumastan who I’m pretty sure is anxious for it!

The Double Tap was about to close for that day. Horatio sent Parker home early and said he could handle things there. The costumers had already gone and he had already set the chairs on the tables. He was outside, lowering the bar door when suddenly someone stopped behind him.

               _Hi, Horatio! – he gasped at the shock, and turned around.

               _Oh, hey, Dani – she was smiling and looking at him.

               _Sorry for scare you, but you were so distracted…

               _No problem, it’s always good to see you – he smiled to her. Horatio still remembered when he saw Dani for the first time, in that same place. He was amazed by her beauty and her outgoing personality. But then he realized she was the famous Dani whom Mark always talked about. The college best friend for whom he probably had feelings. So she was unavailable for him – but you came at a bad time, I just closed the bar.

               _Actually, I didn’t come here for one of your incredible drinks – Dani loved how Horatio worked with the drinks, putting the heart and the passion from inside him, or from someone else, that he could master. She loved how he always knew the right kind of drink every costumer needed – I came here to invite you for a walk with me. Just the two of us.

               _A walk? – he raised an eyebrow. That would be the first time they would hang out just the two of them. Was she saying what he thought she was saying? No, she never demonstrated it before – where?

               _I don’t know, let’s just walk for a while, and then I’ll leave you at home.

               _No way. I’ll leave you at home. A gentleman never could allow a lady to walk alone in a big city like this – they giggled and he thought how her laugh was cute – so, lead the way, Dani.

               _Okay – as they started walking, she linked her arm with his and he was startled again. Often, her intensity could crash with his calm – sometimes Mark and I used to walk like this in college.

               _You must miss this.

               _A lot. I used to joke we’re siblings from different moms. Until today he sees me as a sister.

               _And…you see him like that too?

               _Yes. Sometimes I thought it could be more than a strong friendship, he confessed me he felt the same, but we’re cool with being just BFFs, and nothing more – Horatio couldn’t be hypocritical and say he didn’t like to hear that. And he could understand Mark. Dani was the kind of girl everyone likes to be close. Gorgeous, intelligent, sincere, she had a fantastic ability to charm everyone around her. So falling in love with her wasn’t difficult, he could tell. Horatio just realized he was smiling to himself when he noticed Dani gazing at him and smiling too.

               _So, uh…I haven’t congratulated you yet for winning that award – he dropped the subject before it got worse.

               _Oh, thanks, Horatio! That night was awesome…I was nervous with this award and a decision I had to make, but everything went well.

               _A decision, huh? I don’t know why, but I felt a halo of mystery – he winked and she laughed – something that bothered your heart for a while but now you’re happy with your decision – Dani loved his sensibility. Based on their talks so far, she felt he could read her better than herself sometimes.

               _And I bet you could make a drink based on it.

               _Sounds like a challenge, Dani – he beamed – if you tell me what it was, who knows…

               _Well, it was related to my love life – why she was so determined to talk about it? – I had three potential dates for that night, and I could go steady with one of them. But Mark’s like a brother to me, Leah’s a great friend and an incredible co-worker, and Ben’s a cutie, but I never could see him as more than a friend, you know – Horatio listened carefully. He also noticed how Leah and Ben looked at Dani. She had a bunch of admirers, and he was just one more.

               _So, you had three people wanting you that night, and you chose to be single?

               _Yeah, I know it’s crazy, but I had to be honest with myself and them, of course.

               _I don’t think it’s crazy. Love is an enigmatic strength, Dani. Sometimes you have a reason, and sometimes no. What matters is being honest, exactly like you did – he sighed – and like I did with Tara.

               _Oh, I was about to ask about her – Dani frowned to his sad expression.

               _I wasn’t happy with our relationship. Don’t get me wrong, Tara’s a beautiful human being, inside and out, but we just…didn’t work as a couple. She’s so amazing, she understood my side and also said she wouldn’t want to be with someone who didn’t love her.

               _ Sometimes you have a reason, and sometimes no, right? – Dani nudged Horatio. They shared a giggle and looked at each other’s eyes for a while, then she saw they reached a bridge – I’ve discovered here’s a good place to stop and think when I’m stressed or upset– she let out his arm, but took his hand and guided him to the grid. He felt a chill in his stomach again.

               _I can see why – they leaned slightly on the grid and admired a privileged view of the city of San Francisco, the buildings, the streets, the lights and the sound of the nightlife – when you come in a place like that, your problems seem nothing to the greatness of the universe.

    ��          _Exactly! – Dani faced him, smiling broadly, and Horatio smiled back – I knew you’d understand! Only a person with this poetic soul like yours could see it!

               _Oh, Dani, you’re so sweet – Horatio was interrupted by Dani, who took his face between her hands and brought him down to a kiss. He was caught off guard, but was taken by the sensation of her lips against his and responded eagerly, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer. After a long, breathless kiss, he pulled back, still trying to figure out what just happened.

               _There was a reason why I said no to them that day – she caressed his cheek – it’s you, Horatio.

               _W-what? – he looked quizzically at her.

               _I’ve been feeling this way for some time. But I just recognized it when I came here to think in that decision. And when I was admiring this place, I realized that you would be the only one who would share this opinion with me. There was also a reason for me to bring you here, the place where I realized I was in love with you – Dani smiled slightly, but frowned when Horatio said nothing, an unreadable expression on his face – uh, Horatio, now might be a good time for you to say something – she knew it was risky, and the fear of hearing a no haunted her.

               _Sorry, Dani, but…wow, I can’t believe you feel the same – he finally grinned and her face lightened up.

               _Really?

               _Yeah. I can’t take you off my mind since I met you, but I knew Mark liked you too, and then Leah and Ben, I didn’t want to be just another one disputing your heart, and I thought you always saw me as a friend. And then Tara appeared in my life, and I tried to focus on someone I knew who liked me, but I didn’t like her in the same way, so… - he took her hands – you’re the reason I broke up with Tara, Dani. I’m also in love with you – she jumped and put her arms around his neck, and he hugged her, laughing and lifting her off the floor – yeah, I’m also happy to know that you correspond to my feelings.

               _I know! – she kissed him again and he put her back on the floor – but why did you take so long to tell me that?

               _I didn’t want to screw my friendship with Mark. He talked about you a lot, and when I finally met you in person, I could see why he liked you so much – he kissed her cheek – but he’s one of my best friends, I didn’t want to get in his way. Actually, I don’t know what he would think about us together.

               _As I said, we have a brother-sister friendship, and he also considers you a great friend, so I’m pretty sure he’d be happy for us – Dani hit his chest playfully – and you want it? Us together?

               _This’s what you want too, right? Now that I know how you feel, I don’t want to waste a second away from you, Dani – Horatio leaned in and caught her lips again, slowly and tenderly – and I think this waiting increased my desire for you – he kissed her again, longer this time – because I can’t stop kissing you – she smiled against his lips.

               _I love seeing how passionate and decided you are, Horatio. And of course I want to be with you – they couldn’t stop smiling, and he rested his forehead on hers, holding her hands.

               _You’re also a passionate woman, Dani, who puts your soul in everything you do. That’s one of the things I admire about you – she giggled, kissing him quickly, before he deepened the kiss again – I still can’t believe in it, I must be dreaming. No, this’s better than a dream, because it’s real.

               _I know. I was afraid you wouldn’t feel the same, but I needed to say it, or I would explode – she moved closer to him and encircled his waist with her arms, and he wrapped her around as well. She melted against his embrace while he kissed the top of her head – can we stay here forever, boyfriend? – he chuckled.

               _We can stay here for as long as you want. I also want to enjoy this moment with you, girlfriend – she grinned and tightened her arms. They remained there for a few moments feeling their warmth contrasting with the cold night air – Dani?

               _Yeah?

               _I love you – she tilted her head to face him.

               _I love you too, Horatio – he spread kisses all over her face before press his lips on hers one more time. At that moment, there was nothing in the world but themselves and happiness.

[purple-spring]

Apparitions - a SH fanfic

Author’s note: And so here it is, my labour of love and early Christmas present for the SH fandom - the sequel to ‘Tomorrow’ and ‘Coming Home’. I owe a debt of gratitude to so many people. To @jandjsalmon​, my beta/meta/co-pilot, thank you, as always, for reading and reworking and questioning and pushing this to become what it is now. Erin is my tribute to you. To @theatreofexpression​, who also read and beta’d and cheered me on, you are a gift, and I treasure our conversations. To @oleekingcole​, @gingerheel​ and @a92vm​ for all your support - I am grateful for our friendships.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. While it is based on a number of real-life events (Riverdale auditions, shooting of Riverdale 1.06, the SH San Francisco trip), it is purely speculative, and was not intended to upset or offend.

Summary: Lili is haunted by Cole, and by her fears. When the time comes to banish her ghosts, will she fold? Or will she follow her heart?

Read below, after the cut, or on Ao3. 

“Do you believe in ghosts, Lili?”

The voice that Cole put on was ridiculous, and Lili rolled her eyes at him to indicate that she thought as much. He laughed as he grabbed her shoulder and pulled her in against him, kissing the top of her head affectionately. He’d been in a good mood ever since they landed - gleeful, even. As though by simply moving away from the confines of Vancouver, the context of work, he was immediately freed to be this - happy, carefree, relaxed Cole.

Luggage in hand, they looked up at the gaudy pink facade of the Queen Anne Hotel - apparently one of San Francisco’s most haunted spots, which looked anything but spooky in the garish light of day.

Cole turned to her. “You ready?” She nodded excitedly.

When he’d first suggested it for their weekend away, she was reluctant. Having been accustomed to their getaways in the wild woods of British Columbia, San Francisco felt like a strange, random choice. Throw in a haunted hotel, and it seemed downright bizarre. But Cole’s stubbornness, and his powers of persuasion, were the stuff of legend; he’d once spent three days locked in a bitter stalemate with Roberto over what breed Hot Dog should be, and lost, but just barely, and not for lack of trying.

While Lili was proud of the fact that she was less susceptible to Cole’s nagging (one of the advantages of being his actual girlfriend and being on the receiving end of his pleas all too often), she was certainly not immune to being swayed by a pair of piercing, pleading blue eyes and countless sleepy conversations in the morning while she was still enveloped in his arms. This, he knew, was totally unfair on his part: she was completely undone in his embrace.

“But it would be so good, Lils,” he said, nuzzling her bare belly with his nose, right where he knew it tickled. She giggled and kicked at him half-heartedly. He looked at her with a glint of mischief in his eye before biting down - gently, but firm enough to leave a mark - causing her to sit upright, cussing up a storm, before whacking him soundly with a pillow.

“Not cool,” she mumbled, rubbing gingerly at the spot where he’d bitten her, before lying back down. He smiled before bending down to kiss it apologetically, getting a sarcastic little pat on the cheek in return.

“Seriously, though,” he said, resting his cheek back on her stomach and looking up at her. “It would be intriguing, right?”

“I don’t know, Cole. I mean, why would I want to stay overnight at a haunted hotel? That’s just asking for it.”

“Asking for what, exactly?”

“Like, asking to be haunted, I guess?”

Cole’s head popped up as he gave her a skeptical look. “You don’t believe in that shit, do you?”

“Hey, might I remind you that your own brother believes in that shit? Remember when he freaked out at the Chateau Marmont?”

“Yeah, but that’s Dylan. Which reminds me, I need to send him my monthly text message asking him if he’s felt any more of that weird energy he was harping on about.” Lili smirked at that. Round infinity of the Sprouse Roast Battle. “As for you, though, I thought you’d be more of a skeptic about that sort of stuff.”

“Me?” Lili paused, chewing on her bottom lip thoughtfully. “I don’t know. I’d say that I have a healthy dose of fear and superstition. Like, say, if someone read my tea leaves or something and said that they saw misfortune in my future? Eh. Whatever.”

Cole grinned at her, the dimples over his top lip deepening in the laugh that threatened to spill out of him. “Alright, ‘fess up, Lils. Who read your tea leaves? Was it Mads? It was totally Mads, right?”

“No!” Lili laughed. “She’s a vegan, Cole, not some earth goddess.”

“Oh, come on, like she wouldn’t be reading your tea leaves.”

“Okay. First of all, no-one read my tea leaves, I was making a point. Secondly, you know I don’t drink tea. It’s basically —“

“Flavoured hot water, yes, you’ve said so a million times.”

“Exactly. And thirdly, leave my beautiful precious vegan bean alone.” Cole laughed and settled his head back on her tummy. “Anyway, that sort of stuff, I wouldn’t sweat. But staying overnight at a hotel that’s actually known to be haunted? Come on. That’s some serious, next-level insanity.”

“I’m just saying,” he mumbled, face down on her bare skin. “It would be interesting.”

Lili narrowed her eyes. “Okay. Out with it, Sprouse. What’s your angle? Why are you pushing so hard for this?”

“No angle.” Cole slung his arm over her waist and looked up at her. “Just, you know, a fun weekend with my girl. And the pictures would be cool, don’t you think?”

She pushed a lock of hair away from his eyes. “There are cool pictures to be taken anywhere, and you of all people should know that.”

“Okay, fine then. It would be an adventure. And you love adventures, don’t you?”

Lili smiled, still bashful over his reference to her birthday greeting. “Yeah, but to somewhere that potentially houses a ghostly presence?”

He sat up and stared at her levelly. “Wow. You honestly don’t remember?”

She racked her brain desperately. Nothing stood out. “Sorry. I’m out.”

“Come on. The abandoned mental hospital? Season 1 shooting in Coquitlam?” He looked mildly hurt. “I thought you would’ve made the connection, Lils. It’s coming up to a year.”

Shit. Of course. Lili wanted to smack herself in the face. Did she really forget? Wait. That didn’t sound right. She made the calculations in her head.

“Cole, that was in November. We’re planning for this weekend in October.”

“It’s close.”

Lili laughed. “It’s barely close!”

“It’s close enough.”

“Well, you made me feel like shit for forgetting. And I didn’t.” Her eyes softened at the memory. “Come on. How could I forget that?”

Indeed, how could she? Riverview Hospital. Filming Episode 6. Cole, surrounded by the debris of a decrepit asylum, his hands cupping her face, the two of them emotional but also laughing at the absurdity of having a moment in the midst of an abandoned mental hospital, of all places.

As they now stood in front of the Queen Anne, his arm around her shoulder, hers wrapped around his waist, she recognised that perhaps it had slipped her mind momentarily because all of that felt like a whole lifetime ago. In that moment, as they lay in bed, caught up in travel plans and each other, those days of secrecy and second-guessing and sneaking kisses around the set seemed like ancient history.

It was his question, unintentionally, that brought it all back. It reminded her of the days when she was unsure about what she meant to him, or even what he meant to her. When he was nothing but an apparition that lurked in the corners of her mind and made her heart clench in its tender, invisible grip.

Do you believe in ghosts, Lili?

She sure did.

He was once one of hers.

…

It was at auditions for Riverdale that they’d first crossed paths. She’d been engrossed in her script, running over lines in her head with her earphones plugged in, barely conscious of the fact that some guy she had never met before had been nudging her foot repeatedly to get her attention. One last, hard nudge did it: she finally looked up, startled, as he motioned for her to remove her earphones.

“Hey, are you Lili?” She nodded and replied in the affirmative. “I think they’re calling your name.”

Her first thought was, oh, shit. She scrambled to get all her things together, willing herself to stay calm.

Her second thought, as she conversed briefly with Foot Nudge Guy, was, oh, hey. Kinda cute?

But she had no time to extend that thought as she hurriedly said goodbye to her friend Israel (who was trying out for both Archie and Jughead) and rushed off into her audition. It wasn’t until later when Israel came over to catch up and debrief over dinner that she realised who it was.

“You are bullshitting me.” She froze while rummaging in the kitchen drawer. “Cole Sprouse? Like, Cody Martin Cole Sprouse? You’re telling me that he was the guy who was nudging my foot?”

“Yeah, it was definitely him. They called his name out and everything,” replied Israel. He laughed suddenly. “Everyone in the room was falling all over themselves to get a glimpse of him, and you were literally the only person he spoke to, and you barely noticed him.”

Lili shrugged sheepishly. “Well, I was prepping for my audition.”

“Fair. Also, I think he might’ve been auditioning for Archie as well. Just my luck.”

“Aw, come on. You totally should’ve just psyched him out, Izzy. Stared him down, or pushed him as you walked past or something.”

Israel laughed. “Fuck, dude. Like I’m really gonna psych out Cole Sprouse. The guy’s been acting since he was in diapers.”

“Yeah, I know,” Lili paused thoughtfully. She thought of the guy that she saw at the audition - completely unassuming, determinedly normal - and felt a pang of sympathy for him, an actor who was just trying to book a job, but with all the added pressure of everyone staring and speculating and wanting a piece of him. “I wonder what drew him back to acting.”

“Who knows? Didn’t he and his brother go to college for a while?”

“That’s what I heard.”

Just then, Israel’s phone buzzed on the table. He gave Lili a nervous glance before picking it up. He read it quickly, then his face fell. “Shit. My agent. I didn’t get the part.”

“Aw, Iz.” She walked over and consoled him by patting his shoulder. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” Israel visibly relaxed. “Actually, you know what? This is good. I don’t think I told you - I auditioned for this other film, which went really well, and I was kinda nervous that I’d have to pick between that and Riverdale if I got this one, too.”

“That’s awesome. So I guess the universe made that decision for you, huh?”

“Totally.”

“And, you know, worse comes to worse, you’ve always got my famous curly fries to give you solace.”

“More like your frozen bag specialty curly fries.”

Lili beamed as the oven timer sounded. “Hey, don’t hate. Haters don’t get curly fries.”

She was pulling the fries out of the oven when her phone rang. Israel glanced at her. As working actors, they knew what a phone call meant, as opposed to a text message.

“Lils?”

“Yep. I know.” Lili took a deep breath and held her phone in her hand as it kept ringing. She faced away from the room, keeping her face close to one of the kitchen walls. Inhale, exhale. Repeat. She finally answered the call. “Hi, Lili here.”

The next few moments were a blur, out of which she could only remember the most mundane details. The heat emanating from the open oven. The tired, pale pink paint of the wall she was facing. The distinct smell of fries. And the way she looked down at her shirt to check if it was puffing out from how hard and fast her heart was beating.

She hung up and turned to Israel, tears in her eyes. He knew. And she would remember what he was about to say to her in that moment for a long time. She would mark it as the veil that divided her life into Before and After, foreshadowing not only Riverdale, but everything else - Vancouver, the long days and nights of shooting, the thrill and loneliness of her sudden skyrocket to fame, the comfort of unexpected friendships.

And, of course, Cole.

“Lils,” Israel said in a half-whisper. “I literally just watched your life change.”

…

That was the beginning. Back then, Cole had been a half-formed spectre that dipped its toe into her head every now and then, making the occasional ripple.

And then she took his jacket home by accident, and things started to change.

Roberto had called her not long after her agent did, warmly congratulating her on getting the part and looking to arrange a meeting with her and the guy who booked Jughead’s role.

“We haven’t confirmed it with him just yet,” Roberto said, laughing. “So we’ll hold off letting you know who it is for now. It’ll be a good surprise on the day.”

Despite the uncertainty, Lili was excited. She knew that the show had only been green-lit for a pilot episode at that point, but the prospect of working on a potentially big project - one that could mean a new life as a full-fledged working actress - thrilled her. And she was also excited to meet one of her future castmates.

Walking into the production office that day, Lili regretted not bringing a cardigan. It was an unusually hot spring day in LA, and as a result, the building was blasting its air conditioner at full strength. She’d dressed carefully for the meeting, mimicking an outfit she saw on Betty in one of the special edition Betty comics - a red, strappy sundress with yellow flowers printed on it. She found it at a thrift store, and couldn’t believe her luck. She knew that Roberto, being the creative director of the comics, would recognise it immediately and appreciate the reference.

What she wasn’t expecting was the fact that the guy playing Jughead would recognise it, too.

Or that said guy was Cole Sprouse.

What. The actual. Fuck. She recognised him and silently cursed Israel for getting the guy’s audition details wrong. He said Cole was auditioning for Archie! How am I supposed to deal with this now?

Cole was already seated and reading (she caught a glimpse of Hemingway on the book spine), and suddenly she feared doing something stupid or awkward as she walked into the reception area. Somehow, she managed not to trip over herself, or make a strange noise, or stare longer than necessary, and for that she quietly congratulated herself.

She couldn’t help it, though - she stole a quick glance. Lili realised that she had only been partially right about him seeming normal. Because while he did look the part - dressed as he was in dark khakis, a plain white shirt, worn tan jacket, with a large backpack sitting at his feet - her keen eyes recognised that he carried with him the aura and glow of difference, of being just a little more special than everyone else. It was in his eyes - they were bright, active, perpetually amused. They carried the playful air of a prince pretending to be a pauper.

Lili sat down two seats away from him, unsure whether she should initiate a conversation. As it turned out, she didn’t need to worry - he spoke to her first.

“Betty comics, number 12, 1994,” Cole said, startling her out of her apprehension. She looked up, and he was looking at her with a subtle, half-formed smile. “Right?”

“Uh, excuse me?”

“Your outfit. It’s Betty’s. From the special edition Betty spin-off.” He looked away and chewed on his lower lip thoughtfully. “Or maybe it was number 11?”

“Number 13, actually. ‘Paper Caper.’” Lili smiled at him. “But good try.”

“Ah, damn it. Knew I should’ve crammed for the impromptu Archie universe quiz.” Cole leaned over and offered his hand. “I’m Cole, by the way.”

She took his hand and shook it. It was warm to the touch, and his handshake was firm while the skin was smooth, though slightly calloused at the knuckles. A craftsman’s hands. She remembered that he was a photographer now. “Hey, Cole. I’m — “

“Lili, yeah. From auditions. I remember.”

What the hell? He remembers me? She masked her surprise by laughing at the memory. “That’s right, I think I have you and your foot to thank for getting me to my audition in time.”

“Damn straight. My foot will now take a small cut of all future earnings as a token of your gratitude.”

She laughed. “Sweet. Does it take AMEX?”

“This is a cash-only operation, kid. Sorry.”

“Cash-only, huh? And here I was thinking this was completely legit.”

“Whoa, hey. Cole Sprouse, Foot and Co is a totally legitimate outfit.”

There it was. His name, his famous, well-known name - though couched within a joke - was now released into the ether. She felt it hanging in the air between them - an unwanted phantom reminding them that they weren’t just two random strangers who managed to hit it off immediately, that his fame made it a little more complicated than that. She could tell that he knew it, too, and that, like her, he was regretting the awkward halt to their spitfire banter. She decided to change the subject. “So... you know comics, huh?”

Cole beamed. Lili was touched to see his relief at the distraction. “Oh, yeah. I worked at this huge comic book store on Sunset Boulevard for a while.”

“You mean Meltdown?”

“Yeah, that’s the one.” His eyes lit up. “You know it?”

“I do,” Lili said. “I, um, actually have this thing for special effects make-up, and I’ve been there a few times to pick up some inspiration.”

“No kidding. You got any pictures of your work?”

She felt shy all of a sudden. “Yeah. Did you wanna see them?”

Cole got up and settled into the seat right next to her. “I do, actually. I’d love to.”

She unlocked her phone, opening to the album containing all of her work before leaning over to show him. This close, she caught his scent; a mix of pine, laundry soap, and the faint undertone of cigarettes. She wasn’t sure why, but she consciously committed it to memory.

“So, um, these are a few that I did on some friends…”

She swiped through, showing him pictures of cosplay makeup she had done during Comic Con season, some prosthetic work (which fascinated Cole the most), and some Halloween looks she had experimented with. She was in the middle of showing him her 2D Wonder Woman look when he paused, seemingly intent on something, before gently placing his hand on her forearm.

It was a jolt to her senses. It was so sudden, yet so innocent and unassuming. She looked up at him, and their eyes met. They were close enough that she could take a closer look at him, count the freckles and moles that formed a constellation on his face.

“Goosebumps,” he announced matter-of-factly. “You’re cold.”

“Um, yeah,” she conceded. This close to him, she could barely think straight. “It’s freezing in here.”

Cole stood up and shrugged his jacket off. “Here, put this on.”

“What? Oh, no, I couldn’t possibly --”

“Lili. Honestly, it’s fine.” She felt a small, unexpected thrill at the sound of her name coming out of his lips. It sounded both foreign and familiar, as though he’d known how to say it his entire life, and she was hearing him say it for the first time today. “Besides, I’ve been numbed and hardened to the cold by many a bitter New York winter.” As he said this, he put on an old man voice, which cracked her up. “This jacket is purely for aesthetic purposes.”

She took the jacket from him and put it on. Aside from the extra bulk, it felt like a second skin - warm, well-worn, comfortable, protective. She looked down at her outfit. “Not much of a Betty now, though, am I?”

Cole shrugged and smiled. “Still looks good.”

Lili froze while her mind went overdrive. Was that a compliment? Wait, is he flirting with me? Are we FLIRTING? But before she had time to think this through, a door had opened and a PA was inviting them to step in. Cole picked his bag up and gave her a bemused look before gesturing ceremoniously towards the door.

“Well,” he said. “Shall we?”

The meeting was fairly casual, with Roberto wanting his first two co-stars to meet each other properly and to get a glimpse into the planned narrative arcs for their respective characters (if the pilot was successful). The entire process was fascinating to both of them - Cole had obviously been out of acting for a while, and Lili had never worked on anything as large-scale as Roberto was planning for Riverdale to be. A whirlwind of storyboards and script teases and sketches made time pass quickly, and soon Lili found herself being ushered back out to the waiting area with Cole. Both of them were buzzing with anticipation.

“Well…” Lili started. The sentence trailed off and finished in a grin. There was no other response, no words for how excited she felt about working on Riverdale.

“Yeah.” Cole nodded. He seemed to be in a daze as well. He caught her eye and she couldn’t help it. She burst out laughing. He did, too. Out of pure mirth. As if they couldn’t believe their luck.

“This is crazy, right?” she said.

“Absolutely fucking crazy.” A short pause settled into their conversation as Cole seemed to mull something over. “Hey, you doing anything right now?”

Lili’s joyful mood dissolved as it gave way to nerves. Is he…? No. Don’t be ridiculous, Lili. Anyway, you’ve got something on. Gah. “Um… I am, actually,” she said. “I’m catching up with a friend over dinner. I haven’t seen her in ages.”

“Ah.” Cole nodded. “You live around here though, right? LA?”

“Yep. I’m an Ohio girl, though.”

“Awesome. We should hang out sometime.”

It was a statement, not a question, and from anyone else, at any other given time, it would’ve sounded arrogant. But not from Cole. Because Lili knew, as well as he did, that he was just following through to the natural conclusion of the afternoon they just had - the banter, the ease, the strong, natural pull between them. It was beyond chemistry. It felt… spiritual. Supernatural.

Still, given who he was and how closely they’d be working together in the next few months, she was naturally hesitant. And so she was surprised to hear herself replying:

“Yeah, we should.”

Lili knew, from the moment they exchanged numbers, from the way she watched the deft movement of his fingers as they entered her contact details into his phone. She knew when he pulled her in for a hug before saying goodbye and felt her body melting into his. She knew when she jumped into her Uber and realised, with a surprise, that she was still wearing his jacket. And that he didn’t ask for it back, either.

She knew. It was a foregone conclusion.

She was haunted by Cole.

...

The next few months passed by in a golden blur. Slowly, Lili’s days filled up with preparing for Riverdale. And with Cole. He texted her often, and called most nights. She met Dylan, as well as Cole’s entire social set from the West Coast, and soon became friends with them as well. He took her around to where he was staying in LA - at Debby’s - where they’d watch sunsets and pet her cats while talking about everything and nothing at all. He gave her unnecessarily detailed lectures on how to use her camera. She sent him memes.

At first, it was fine. She figured that whatever she felt for him at the production meeting was a fluke and would eventually dissolve with time. Except... they didn’t. Instead, she could feel something taking root in her heart. Whether it was infatuation or love, she couldn’t quite tell just yet. But it was there. And it made her panic.

When he told her how he felt for her, his confession whispered in the early hours of morning as they lay together on the couch at Debby’s place, that panic was replaced by euphoria, which was only heightened with each frenzied kiss, each extended ‘good night’ over the phone. They kept things between them for the time being, wanting to preserve and protect this still-undefined thing that they had, away from all the noise. They carefully avoided any talk of the future, living day to day just as Cole had promised: tomorrow, he had said. Tomorrow, you’ll still have me. And, faithfully, Lili held onto that.

But with each day that passed on the Riverdale set, the harsh black and white of reality slowly seeped into the technicolor dream that was her world with Cole. The hours were long, the schedule was gruelling, and she found herself mentally and physically exhausted by the demands of playing Betty Cooper. She started feeling more moody and brooding, despite Cole’s best efforts to make her laugh, as well as his constant insistence on pulling her into some unknown corner on set to sneak in a secret kiss. At first, she put it down to simple fatigue, and took naps whenever she could. But as the weeks wore on, she felt essentially the same, and it worried her.

One morning, after a night of tossing and turning, Lili turned up early to the Riverdale stages, where they were filming for the day. She’d woken up at 5 after finally drifting off to sleep only four hours prior to that. Frustrated at having gotten so little sleep, she threw off her covers and picked up her phone to check the time, and saw that she missed a text from Cole.

“KJ still shredding his guitar at 2 am. He claims that the apartment is sound-proof but clearly it’s not inconsideration-proof. Tempted to call cops on ourselves. Live with me? Please? KENETI SUX (don’t tell him I said that).”

It should have made Lili smile. Except that she noted the same strain of worry tugging at her, making her feel anxious. She tried to shrug it off, but as she got up to get ready for the day, she felt it sticking to her ribs and crowding her lungs.

“Lili?” Madelaine walked into out into living room, bleary-eyed and still in her pajamas. The two girls were sharing an apartment in Vancouver, which Lili was grateful for. They were both homebodies, happy to bunker down and watch old episodes of Friends while everyone else was out partying. “What the hell? Are we due on set this early?”

“No, babe. Go back to sleep. We’re due in at 9.” Lili got a mug out and starting spooning coffee granules into it. “I just woke up early, that’s all.”

Madelaine gave her a look as she eyed the coffee container in Lili’s hand. “Uh, Lils? You don’t drink coffee.”

“I know.”

“And that’s my organic, shade-grown, vegan-certified coffee.” She considered Lili carefully. “Are you okay?”

Lili picked up the container and looked at the label. “Huh. Didn’t realise. Should do me fine, though.”

Madelaine walked over to her. “Hey, look at me.” Lili turned, and Madelaine gasped in fake horror. “Okay, whoa, we are gonna need some face masks tonight because those eye bags are killing me, girl. Those are Cole level eye bags.” Lili gave a short, humourless laugh at that. “Honestly though, are you alright? You haven’t been yourself these past few days.”

“I know, Mads. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, don’t be sorry. That’s you, and that’s how you feel. Doesn’t matter what it’s about. Don’t apologise for that.” Madelaine rubbed her back, and Lili felt tears welling up in her eyes. She was tired and worried for no apparent reason, and Mads was being so kind and maternal, and it took all of her energy and willpower not to burst into frustrated tears. She turned to her and gave her a quick hug.

“Thanks. I’ll be okay. And, um…” Lili looked pointedly and regretfully at the mug of unmade vegan coffee.

Madelaine rolled her eyes and laugh. “Yep, I’ll get rid of this.”

Lili smiled and headed out the door. “Love you, Mads.”

“Love you too, Lils.”

Lili drove in to the studio lot. There was hardly anyone at the stages when she walked in. Britta, one of the series writers, waved at her happily and came over. “Hey, Lilibeth,” she said, using the crew’s favourite nickname for Lili. “Shit, what time is it? I didn’t know you guys were due to come in already.”

“Nah, you’re fine. I got up early, actually.” On cue, Lili stifled a yawn. “Thought I might as well come to set, get some prep work in.”

“Yeah, well, don’t work yourself too hard just yet. It’ll probably be a while before we start shooting. Have a walk around for now. Hair and makeup should be getting set up soon.”

“Thanks, Brit.”

“No problem. Oh, and hey, is Cole around?”

Lili went still. Why was she being asked about Cole ? Did they know? For some reason, this bothered her more than it should have. “Um, no...? Why?”

“Oh, I’ve just got something on script he needs to check. No biggie. I’ll catch you later, okay?”

Lili picked up a hot chocolate from craft services and walked around the stages, stopping to chat and say hi to people here and there. As sleep-deprived as she was, she was enjoying this - seeing the cameras rolled out across the floor, the set designers hard at work adding little details to each interior, the script supervisors flipping through the scripts and marking things off their lists.

This was the life she had chosen, since age 14. There was no Plan B for her - she decided that for herself a long time ago. It was going to be acting or nothing. And now here she was, in the midst of a dream come true, and yet something was niggling at her, and she couldn’t figure it out.

As Lili walked past the Cooper house stage, she slowed down.

She and Cole would be filming there the next day - their first onscreen kiss. She remembered, with a smile, how they had received the script and read over it together in her apartment, kiss included and all. He played the role of director too, joking that each kiss wasn’t good enough (“Come on, I’m just not FEELING it, Lili.” “Shut up, Cole.” “Make me.” And she did).

Standing here now, though, she felt none of that pure elation and only felt… apprehension. They had joked about it all week since reading the script, but now that they were coming up to it, Lili felt more and more nervous, almost as if…

Hang on.

She stopped in her tracks. The truth finally crashed over her.

It was simple. So simple she couldn’t believe that she hadn’t seen it coming. Her reaction to Cole’s text that morning, Britta’s innocent query regarding his whereabouts...

She was running scared.

It was staring her straight in the face, literally, as she faced the exterior of the Cooper house stage. Here, her work, her dreams, and all the sweat and toil she had invested into them, were about to intersect with a relationship that was still taking its first, tentative steps.

And she had no idea what was going to happen.

Because this wasn’t how the story was supposed to go. Not in her mind. Not when she started out on this path. She had landed the biggest role of her career and the trajectory of her life was meant to be straightforward and predictable from then on.

Cole, however, was an unexpected twist in the tale. She didn’t see him coming, and now that they had collided head-on, she was reeling from the impact.

The questions came to her mind, fast and unbidden.

What if we hold each other back?

What if this doesn’t work?

What happens when people find out?

What happens when we fight?

What if he loses his focus?

What if I lose mine?

And, most painful of all. What if I lose HIM?

Lili walked up the steps to the Cooper house in a half-daze, and she sat herself down on the doorstep to collect her thoughts. The euphoria and afterglow of being with Cole had kept all these questions at bay, but now, as reality was setting in, they were being unleashed, and she was powerless to stop them.

Suddenly, everything she took for granted in the past few months was overshadowed by the cold sting of fear.

Suddenly, she wasn’t sure she wanted this kiss to happen.

…

Lili felt out of sorts for the rest of that day. Thankfully, it was a light day, shooting-wise - just a few filler scenes before they got around to the heavier sequences over the next few days.

Cole arrived on set later in the afternoon, just as Lili was finishing. He was on his way out of the makeup trailer when she stepped in for her clean-up. She was so lost in her thoughts that she bumped into him on the steps leading up.

“Whoa!” he said, laughing as he steadied her by the shoulders. “Has someone been drinking the acetone?”

“Cole,” she breathed out. She felt spooked seeing him, as if her thoughts had materialised this apparition standing in front of her.

“You okay?”

“Yeah.” Lili racked her brains for something, anything, to say. “So, ah, you’re shooting today?”

Cole gave her a funny look. ”Yeah. I work here, Lils. Not just a pretty face, you know.” He smirked at her, eyebrows raised, lips slightly puckered - a deliberate ‘pretty’ pose. Despite the fact that it was so ridiculous and put on, it still melted her.

“Of course, yeah. Stupid question.”

He narrowed his eyes at her. “You sure you’re alright?”

“Totally.” She forced herself to smile. “Oh. Hey. I’m sorry I didn’t reply to your text earlier.”

“Which one?”

“KJ shredding guitar at 2 am. Hang on, you sent me another one?” She slipped her hand into her pocket, looking for her phone.

“Yeah, just a few hours ago. I figured you’d be filming.” He chuckled at a sudden memory. “Oh, and as for KJ, I ended up throwing a carrot at his head. Not my most impressive enactment of a visual metaphor - because ‘carrot top’, of course - but it got the message across.”

“You guys actually have carrots at your place?”

Cole rolled his eyes. “KJ juices.”

“Oh. Right.” Despite herself, she giggled at the mental image she had conjured of KJ chopping up vegetables and throwing them into a blender (“Carrots. Pineapple. Ginger. Legends.”).

He smiled at the sight of her laughing. “Hey, so, the text I sent you. Apparently, this place we’re  shooting at in two days? Is haunted as fuck.”

“Really?” She slid the lock button on her screen to open his message, and there it was - a screenshot of an article he’d been reading on Atlas Obscura. She looked at the description and read it out loud. “’Riverview Hospital, historic insane asylum… what untold stories could be uncovered from the relics of an institution that has witnessed the torment of so many personal demons?’ Holy shit.”

“Right?” Cole looked as though all his dreams had come true. “So you in?”

“Am I in? For what?”

Cole gave an enigmatic little grin. “A little urban exploring adventure.”

On any given day, Lili would have jumped at the opportunity. But not today, not after her earlier revelation on the steps of the Cooper house. She wasn’t sure she could take some extended alone time with Cole right now. “Look. It sounds great. But honestly, I am way too much of a wuss for that.”

Cole scoffed. “You? Seriously? Come on. And anyway, I’ll be there. I’ll bring my camera and everything. It’ll be fun.”

“Cole.” Lili was starting to fret inside. She had to dissuade him somehow. This would be in two days. It was going to be the day after their kiss scene. She wasn’t sure how that was going to work, what the aftermath would be.

“What?” His face fell slightly. “You don’t wanna come?”

“Can I just… can I let you know closer to the day?”

Cole shrugged, obviously a little disappointed. “Alright then. Just let me know soon. I want you there, Lils.” He leaned in slightly, his voice dropping. “It won’t be much of an adventure without you.” He looked around quickly before swooping in to kiss her playfully on the cheek, and walked off in the direction of the stages.

Lili felt the outline of his lips on her skin as she watched him leave, and knew that it would stay there for a while.

Don’t do that, she thought. Don’t make me fall harder for you than I’m falling right now.

…

The morning drive felt like a meditation. Lili had woken up extra early to prepare herself for the scene, reading over her script again, reciting it out loud to herself, then repeating it without the paper in front of her.

But that was just a distraction. After all, she was always pretty good with memorising dialogue. On her drive to the set, she was focusing on an entirely different set of words.

It’s just another scene.

It’s just another scene.

It’s just another scene.

She repeated it to herself like a mantra as she drove, and if she had a little bit longer - an extra day, perhaps - she would have eventually believed it. But as she pulled into the parking lot, she felt her palms sweating on the steering wheel, her stomach filling with butterflies. She wondered whether Cole was feeling the same.

Come to think of it, he hadn’t messaged her that morning, hadn’t brought the kiss up in conversation in the past few days. Maybe I’m overthinking this. Maybe it would be fine.

But as she slipped on her costume for the day - Betty’s usual jeans paired with a light, cream-coloured V-neck sweater - she became aware of the same questions plaguing her mind from the day before. What if we hold each other back? What if this doesn’t work? What if I lose him?

It was going to be a long day.

Cole was already at the Cooper house stage when she arrived, drinking coffee and laughing with some of the film crew. He caught her eye as she walked in, and he gave her a soft smile and raised his cup at her by way of greeting. Looking to avoid him, she gave him a quick nod and a wave before finding a spot on a couch on the other side of the room, lying down and closing her eyes.

She wasn’t even aware that she’d dozed off until one of the crew tapped her on the shoulder. She got up, had her ponytail fixed quickly, and nervously ascended the stairs to Betty’s bedroom.

She didn’t even get a chance to speak to him properly before shooting started. Steven, their director, was at the bottom of the ladder outside Betty’s window, talking Cole through the scene. He did the same with her earlier, and as she waited, she stared at the bits of duct tape on the floor that marked her blocking cues. They had blocked the scene fairly quickly, and in that time, she and Cole were both bristling with a nervous energy that prevented them from saying too much to one another. They both sensed the significance of the scene. Roberto, who had written the episode, was taking a rare break from working through scripts and was standing next to one of the cameras, eager to see how the scene would pan out. It was a big day for the series: the birth of Bughead.

The scene as it was scripted would be fairly simple: Jughead would knock on the window, wait for Betty to open it, and say his line. He’d climb through, they’d have their exchange and turn to face each other. After that, it was onto the kiss - bold, swift and immediate, just as Roberto and Tessa had written it in the script. She’d be startled, she’d remember Jason’s car, and they’d end it with their sleuthing dialogue. Easy.

Well, easier said than done, Lili thought.

Soon enough, Steven was standing behind the camera, and the scene was ready to be filmed. “Quiet on the set!” someone yelled. Lili sat at Betty’s vanity, fiddling with her necklace. A chorus of voices signalled the start of shooting.

“Roll it— ”

“We’re rolling.”

“Thirty-three, take one, and—”

“Action!”

A tap on the window. Lili turned around, performing her first beat perfectly. Cole stepped through into Betty’s room, and they moved seamlessly through their blocking - Betty walking ahead of Jughead, turning to him every now and then as they went through their dialogue.

Betty was meant to be distracted in this scene, and Lili played that up, making sure to avoid looking at Cole. But as he said the line “they’re parents, they’re all crazy,” she couldn’t help it - she looked up briefly, and noticed that his own eyes were downcast. That they seemed to be avoiding her.

Well, that’s different. In rehearsals, Cole usually delivered the line straight, with a confident, knowing smirk. Here, Lili could feel a different energy emanating from him, but she couldn’t name it, couldn’t be distracted, not now when was being swept up in the mood of the scene.

“Also…”

Well. Here we are. Jughead’s big line. The prelude to the kiss. She braced herself.

“What?” she replied.

She looked expectantly at Cole. He should have been kissing her by now. Instead, his gaze flitted anxiously over her, his eyebrows drawn together as though in confusion.

Oh my god. Did he forget this part? The air thickened with tension. Lili grew nervous as she felt the room weighing in on them, and she racked her brain desperately, trying to think of what to do as the cameras kept rolling. She decided to cue him in again. It was technically off-script, but never mind - he’d thank her later for stepping in.

She repeated her line, a little more forcefully. “What?”

And then, there. In that flash of a second, she saw it.

Doubt. Hesitation. Fear.

All in his eyes. All mirroring her own.

In that moment, it shocked her. Cole - confident, self-assured Cole - was standing here in front of her in such vulnerability.

And she saw the truth that had eluded her in these past few days, the one she would’ve guessed at, had she been paying attention.

That she wasn’t the only who was afraid.

That he was haunted, too.

But before she could process any of this properly, she was startled back into the present as he visibly switched gears, stepping in swiftly to close the distance between their lips, right when she least expected it.

It was unlike anything they had ever rehearsed or even done in real life. It wasn’t what the script called for. It started out like a cymbal crash, but turned tenuous and tender - a quiet question mark rather than the decisive full stops or passionate exclamation marks that characterised her kisses with Cole.

And she was hopelessly lost, enveloped in this secret part of him that he was unknowingly letting her into. It felt intimate, to be staring into this fissure that he had exposed. It didn’t scare her; it felt right. It threw her into blissful relief, to feel the tentativeness in that kiss, to feel her own uncertainty mirrored and marked onto her lips by his own.

As they parted, she smiled, purely out of reflex. Cole’s hand was still cupping her face, and he released a deep sigh that seemed to take up his whole body.

“Cut.”

Steven’s voice was like a temple bell cutting through the transcendence of the moment, calling them all back to reality. Lili was confused. The scene wasn’t over yet. She turned to the crew and saw that they were all transfixed. Roberto’s eyes were misting over behind his glasses.

“Guys, that was….” He was momentarily lost for words. “That was it. That was the take.”

Britta, who was the script supervisor for the scene, cleared her throat. “Roberto, that wasn’t how you and Tessa planned it on the script here. You okay with that?”

“Am I okay with it?” Roberto shook his head in incredulity and turned to their director, who looked just as moved as the rest of the crew. “What do you think, Steve?”

Steven looked over to Cole and Lili, taking them in thoughtfully, as though he was seeing them in a new light. “I know we still had a few lines to go, but I had to stop it there because I wasn’t sure how you’d play the next beat, and quite frankly, I wanted to make sure that we preserved that on film.”

“Preserved what?” Lili asked.

Steven smiled at her. “Magic.”

…

Before Lili knew it, the scene had wrapped. She was desperate to speak to Cole, but Roberto had already cornered him in what appeared to be a fairly intense conversation. She loitered around for a few minutes, but gave up after they sat down on the couch, apparently settling in for a long discussion.

It was her only scene for the day. Lili made her way back to the makeup trailer in a pensive daze, watching her feet as they measured out her steps. She had no idea how she ended up seated in front of the mirror, with Erin, the head makeup artist on the show, handing her a cotton ball soaked in cleanser.

“Alright, you beauty,” she said, smiling. “Let’s get you cleaned up and on your way home.”

Lili complied, methodically wiping the makeup off her face. She loved this. For her, it was an important part of her day, this literal stripping away of character. And she especially loved doing it with Erin, who had become a close friend to her in the months that they’d been doing Riverdale together, and who was one of the few people who actually knew about her and Cole. Often, she’d sit in the chair long after her makeup had been taken off, having long talks with her and sharing skin care tips and chocolate.

Erin busied herself with cleaning her brushes while Lili wiped off her eye makeup. “So. Everything go alright with the big scene today?”

Lili paused, the cotton ball poised over her eyelid. “Yeah. It went really well, actually.”

“Great.” Erin smiled warmly at her before turning back to her brushes. This was another reason why Lili loved her. She knew when to leave her be.

They were both quiet for a few moments, with nothing but the sound of running water echoing in the empty trailer. Erin tapped the brushes dry over the sink, then turned around and smiled at Lili through the mirror. “All done, then?”

Lili nodded. Erin took the cotton ball from her and threw it in the bin, before handing her a warm towel.

Lili dangled it loosely in her hand, thinking to herself. “Erin?”

“Yes, lovely?”

“What do you do when…” Lili’s voice trailed off, and she pursed her lips, unsure of how to complete that sentence. Erin stood by, waiting patiently.

“What do you do,” she started again, “when you’re absolutely sure that you’re right where you want to be, and you want to move things forward, but for some reason… you’re just scared shitless?”

Erin pulled up a chair right next to her and sat down. “Are we talking about a certain young Jeep-driving photographer here?”

“Well… yes. Partially. But it’s to do with everything else as well.” Lili exhaled a long breath. “Riverdale. Our careers. Everything.”

“Okay.” Erin nodded. “What do you think is making you scared?”

“I don’t know. I keep running through all these questions in my head - questions that maybe I should have been asking myself months ago, but didn’t. Or couldn’t.” Because I was crazy about Cole and still am and everything feels irrelevant whenever he says my name or his hands are on my skin. “Either way, I think they’re all essentially asking the same thing.”

“And what’s that?”

Lili turned her gaze on Erin, her eyes full of worry. “What if this breaks us?” she asked, her voice small. “What if it breaks me? ”

Erin sighed, and took Lili’s hands in hers.

“Lili, how did you get started on all this?”

“What, on Cole?”

Erin chuckled. “No, not Cole, honey. We all know how that started. The boy is very charming. And he was always nuts about you.” Lili smiled at that. “I mean acting. Your career.”

“Well… a lot of auditioning. A lot of getting knocked back.”

“I mean before that. Why did you audition? Why did you keep getting up, even when you got knocked back?”

Lili gave a short laugh. “Because it was the only thing I was good at?”

Erin swatted her arm lightly. “That isn’t even remotely true and you know it. Come on. Tell me.”

Lili paused thoughtfully. “It was the only thing I ever really wanted to do. It’s where my heart was. Or is.” She sighed. “It’s where my heart is.”

“Well.” Erin patted her hand. “Isn’t that your answer, then?”

“My answer? How?”

“Lili. Think about it. Your heart led you to acting. In that process, did it ever betray you?”

“No.”

“Did it ever fail to warn you of danger? Or lead you to the wrong door?

“No.”

“Did it ever leave you high and dry? In all those times when you were auditioning and failing and starting over, did it ever leave you short of passion, or tell you to give up?”

“No.”

Erin leaned forward, making sure that she listened. “Then follow it, Lili. Trust it. It hasn’t led you astray yet, and it won’t start now.”

Suddenly, Lili knew what she had to do.

“Erin…” She had no words. She’ll just have to express her gratitude later. “I’ll be back.”

She stood up and hugged Erin fiercely, before running out of the trailer.

Lili ran to the parking lot, to check if Cole was still around. By sheer luck, she caught him just as he was opening the door to the driver’s seat.

“Cole!”

He turned around, startled. She sprinted to his car, which was on the far end of the parking lot. She hadn’t run for a long time, and soon her legs and lungs were on fire. But she couldn’t stop. Somehow, her body was pushing her forward, propelling her to the only person that mattered right now.

But what was she supposed to say? Now, as she stood in front of him, out of breath, all coherent thought abandoned her.

“I, um…” She put her hand to her chest to control her breathing.

“Lils.” His eyes were wide as he took her in. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, just… give me a sec… one moment…”

Cole was caught between looking amused and worried. Wordlessly, he took out a water bottle from his car and offered it to her. She shook her head.

Lili straightened up after a while. “Sorry. Were you leaving?”

He shook his head. “I was just grabbing something out of the car.”

“Oh. Right.” She looked him in the eye, and she was suddenly nervous. “Um. Are you still exploring the abandoned asylum tomorrow?

He looked surprised. “Yeah, I am.”

“Is anyone else going with you?”

Cole smirked. “Nah, I think it’s just me and the ghouls tomorrow. Why’d you ask?”

“Just… I would love to come.” She said it tentatively, worried that things had changed since their scene earlier. “Does my invitation still stand?”

Cole looked surprised at that. “Yeah, of course.” She breathed a sigh of relief. They were fine. Thank god. “But… Lils, I thought you were scared?”

“No,” she replied, smiling. “I’m not scared. Not anymore.”

…

Riverview Hospital in Coquitlam was a sprawling expanse of old, decrepit buildings that extended over a wide acreage of land. It had served many purposes since its inception as The Hospital of the Mind, but had been largely abandoned since the mid-1990s, and was mostly used as a filming location.

Many of the Riverdale crew had already worked there at one point or another, and all of them agreed: while it looked beautiful on film, it was definitely haunted, and none of them liked going anywhere near it.

“Place gives me the creeps,” said one of the lighting guys to Cole as he assembled his camera. “I have no idea why you two are so crazy about going in there. It’s dripping with ghosts.”

But nothing could dissuade Cole, and Lili had her heart set on following him. So as the crew set up the shoot, they went poking about the place, looking for an entrance. Cole was accustomed to urban exploring, while Lili was not, so he ran on ahead of her, rattling various doors and looking for windows they could climb through. Finally, he found one, and Lili felt a rush of affection for him as he poked his head from behind a loose door, his face spread widely into a grin, his hair dishevelled with bits of debris in it.

The entrance he found had a slightly precarious drop, as most of the staircases had crumbled away over time. As Cole took Lili’s hand to help her step in, he said quietly, “You know, there’s like a billion spiders in here.”

Lili yanked her hand away and smacked him on the arm. “Fuck off. I’m out. Seriously, Sprouse. I’m done.”

“Jesus. I was kidding.” Cole’s laugh echoed throughout the empty room. “Anyway, I thought you weren’t scared.”

“Cole, you know I hate spiders.”

“Alright, I’m sorry.” He smiled at her, and she cursed him silently for that smile - that perfect, heartbreaker’s smile that made everything immaterial in its wake. “Shall we?”

Together, they stepped into the room and were hit by the decades-old funk of pent-up dust and refuse and god knows what else. She knew she should have been scared, but somehow she only felt a heavy sort of sadness for what had transpired in the place - this was a mental hospital, after all. Cole seemed to feel it, too, as he suddenly turned quiet and pensive. He lifted his camera and started shooting as they delved further into the building.

They walked through the hospital, exploring long hallways and empty rooms. Cole shot some beautiful images, which he showed her.

“These are brilliant, Cole.”

“You think?” He examined one that he had taken of her standing in a doorway. “Ah. I can do better than that.”

“You’re too hard on yourself.” She gave his arm a reassuring squeeze. “Honestly, these are beautiful. As always.”

Cole shrugged to himself, and she followed at a short distance behind him as he kept shooting away.

Now or never. She took a deep breath. “Cole?”

“Mmm?”  

“We, um… we never got to talk about our scene yesterday. The kiss.”

He lowered the camera, turning to look around at her. “What about it?”

“Well, for starters, that wasn’t how we rehearsed it.”

He raised an eyebrow at her, half-smiling. “Well, at one point we were rehearsing it on your couch, with you straddling my lap. So, yeah,” he laughed, “definitely not how we rehearsed it.”

She reddened and smiled at the memory. “You know what I mean. It was off-script. I had to cue you in twice, remember? I mean, it was definitely beautiful, and Roberto obviously loved it...” She crossed her arms. “But why? Why’d you play it differently?”

“I don’t know, I just...” He sighed and looked down. “It felt right, you know? It came out of what I was feeling at that exact, precise moment.”

“Which was…?”

“A whole fucking lot.” He laughed nervously while running his hands through his hair. “I mean, Jughead’s never kissed Betty, right? But you and me, we’ve kissed. We’ve done more than kiss. So, going into the scene, Steven and I were talking, and I realised that I had to access some part of myself that was in the same nervous, anxious place that Jug was at during that point.”

“And what place was that?”

“Can I be honest?” Lili nodded, encouraging him to go on. “It’s this.”

“What, me and you?”

“It is, but it’s more than that.” He scratched his cheek, frowning. “Look, the way I see it, shooting that scene was like a metaphor.”

That wasn’t what she was expecting. “A metaphor?”

“Yeah. For us. And for Riverdale.” He sighed. “There’s me and you, and that’s obviously surreal and incredible. But there’s also everything else - all the pressures of a schedule, the artifice of the set, the scrutiny of everyone around us. You know what I mean? All the noise.”

Lili nodded. Of course she knew what he meant. It was the same thing she’d brooded over on the steps of the Cooper house stage.

Cole went on. “I guess I was just hyper-aware of all of that heading in. The noise became a distraction, and suddenly what was supposed to be a fun scene where I got to kiss this gorgeous girl that I really liked turned into this overwhelming commotion.”

Despite the gravity of their conversation, Lili had to look down to suppress a smile. He called me gorgeous. It never got old.

“That’s why I hesitated, why you had to cue me in twice. I was just caught up in my own head.” He looked at her, his eyes filled with a soft tenderness. “But your voice called me out of that, Lili. When you cued me in the second time, it was... like air. Like breath. And suddenly there was this clarity amidst all the doubt and fear that was clouding my mind.”

Fear. There it was again, that word, lurking over them like a watchful spirit, waiting to see who’d slip up first. The truth, which she had guessed correctly in those tentative seconds after their lips parted, was that they were both scared. They were both calculating the risk, aware that with each day that they found themselves in each other’s arms again, the stakes were being raised, and the questions were stacking up. Is this worth it? Will this stick? Will it stay?

And she was done with it.

Today, she had the answer to silence all her questions. Here, of all places, where fear lived, she was banishing hers.

She took a step towards him, closing the gap between them. “Cole, I need you to listen to everything I have to say without stopping me. Okay? Because if you stop me, I don't know if I can say it all.”

He nodded, and they were both silent. Lili brought her hand up to touch his chest, to feel his heart beating in the palm of her hand. It was strange to see him so still. Cole was always in motion, always talking, always on the move. His heartbeat - steady, constant and faithful - was a reminder of that. But right now, she needed him to stay put.

“When you first told me how you felt about me, back in LA, I was afraid. I was scared of my own feelings, afraid of how much I felt for you, and terrified of where that would take me.”

Cole nodded, keeping his eyes fixed on her.

“But I shouldn’t have been, because every day with you since then has been an adventure. You’ve made me laugh. You’ve given me the craziest stories to tell. You’ve taken me to some of the most beautiful places I have ever seen.” She looked around them. “Except this. Honestly, this place is a mess, Cole.”

He laughed at that, and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer.

“A few days ago, I was afraid again, for all the same reasons that you were afraid. Because suddenly everything became real, right?” Cole nodded. “Yesterday’s kiss wasn’t just an onscreen kiss with some random guy. It was a kiss with you. And yes, we were professionals about it, and the scene turned out amazing, but still - the fear was there because I didn’t want any of that noise to get to us.”

She exhaled and looked up at him. “But the noise is always going to be there, right? If it’s not Riverdale, it’ll be something else. And so it’s pointless to be afraid, to run scared. Otherwise, we’d be running this whole time.

“I don’t have all the answers to my questions. And I can’t say that I’ve resolved everything in my mind and that everything will be fine. But... I’m okay with that now. Because being with you has only made me bolder, Cole. It’s given me more courage to be myself, to pursue my passions, to dream bigger dreams. And if I follow where that leads - where my heart leads - I know that it won’t lead me astray. Because it will only lead me to you.”

Lili was tempted to tuck her face into his chest, to look anywhere but into his eyes. But she forced herself to keep her gaze on him - two pools of black, ringed by ocean blue.

“I love you, Cole.” She spoke it in one, swift sentence, and paused as she felt his breath hitch against his ribs. “I think I have for a while now.”

Silence. She could feel the weight of it filling the room to the brim, light driving out darkness.

“This isn’t a bribe, or an ultimatum, or a bargain. You don’t need to say it back. I just…” She shrugged helplessly. “It can’t be helped, and it can’t be kept in. I wanted you to know. You deserve to know.

“So there. I love you. Out of this uncertain but hopeful heart... I love you.”

“Lili? Cole?”

Voices in the distance. They were due back for the scene. The moment was gone, the bubble had burst. Lili was a little disheartened, but grateful that she was able to express herself to him. Maybe it was best this way - to leave their little secret whispered into the walls of the asylum, never to be uncovered.

Except Cole had other plans.

He seized her hand, and before she could ask him what he was doing, they were sprinting down the hallway and further into the building, past rooms she had never seen, past crumbling walls of plaster, eerie chambers that echoed their racing footsteps, broken windows and splintered doors and emptied ceilings.

Finally, they came to a stop in the middle of a large, light-filled room. He turned to her, panting from the run, his ocean blue eyes raging with a passionate storm.

“Lili.” There was something about the way he whispered her name, between ragged breaths, that stirred something deep and urgent in her.

Who started what, they couldn’t tell. But it was Lili who pulled him in by his shirt and Cole who pushed her up against the wall, one hand leaning for support, another flush against the skin on the small of her back. When their lips crashed in the middle, it was anything but tentative or tenuous. It was bold and bruising, frenzied and desperate. It was driven by a need that was both body and soul.

He brought his hands up to hold her face, and she felt him shaking. It startled her. She pulled back and he looked down at her in protest at the lack of contact. She took his hands in her own and brought his palms to her lips, soothing and calming him, wanting to say that it was okay, that this was where fear ended, that she loved him, she loved him, she loved him.

She tilted her head up, closing her eyes, wanting to kiss him again, but she was met with nothing. She glanced up at him.

“What?”

“However long you’ve know,” he said, his voice barely a whisper, “double it. Triple it.”

She stared at him. “Cole, what are you --”

“One day, I promise, I will make it up to you, for not saying it when I knew. For not being as fearless as you are.” He paused to take her in. “Because I love you, Lili Reinhart. I love you with every fucking thing I’ve got.”

His words crashed into her like a wave, pulling her under the current. This time, she was shaking. And crying.

Their small, tear-soaked kisses would gradually deepen into a longer, more searing one, and they stayed that way for a while - oblivious to time, unheeding of the space they were in. Until it felt like there was nothing left to give. Until they had filled themselves with each other. Until the same voices from earlier echoed in the distance, calling their names, calling them back to reality.

They looked at each other. “Well,” he said, “what now?”

She smiled at him. “I suppose we have to go and film.” She kissed the tip of his nose, and he wrinkled it at her. “After that? I don’t know. We’ll see.”

He smiled back at her, and he took her hand, interlacing his fingers with hers.

As they walked back out, passing through the hallways of the abandoned asylum, she felt giddy like a teenager, wanting to etch their names into the walls. Maybe not their initials - too juvenile. But she understood the need: she wanted to mark this place as it marked them.

But what would she write?

Here lies fear, she thought. Here it lies, conquered by love.

…

“So, remind me again why we’re still awake at 3 am.”

Their room at the Queen Anne Hotel was darkened save for a small, antique lamp beside their bed, which illuminated Cole’s bare form next to her. He turned to face her, and as he moved, most of him became obscured by the shadows. But it didn’t matter. Lili had already memorised his face. In some ways, she knew it better than her own.

“Well,” Cole started, “besides the fact that someone wanted toast and eggs at 1 in the morning—”

“Which someone else also enjoyed, leaving me with only HALF of said toast and eggs.”

“True. But yes, besides that fact...” She could sense him smirking in the darkness. “Do I really need to provide a blow-by-blow account of what happened here?”

Lili rolled her eyes. “No, because you’re only going to be gross about it and I don’t want you to ruin my night.”

“Fine then, be boring,” he said. “But to actually answer your question - don’t you remember what I said yesterday? About the witching hour?”

Lili slid under his arm and closed her eyes as she settled her head against his hard, muscled shoulder. “No. Remind me.”

“You never listen to my stories,” he whined.

“Yes, I do. But the witching hour doesn’t sound like something I want to remember while trying to sleep in a notoriously haunted room.”

“Ha. Fair point.” He cleared his throat dramatically. “Okay, Lili, picture it. Prague, 2014. The days were glorious, and the dig was on—”

“And as much as I love a Golden Girls reference, I’m about to fall asleep and you’re about to lose me here.”

“Alright, geez.” He sat up, and forced her to sit up with him. She groaned, but complied. “So a guy I was working with on this archaeological dig in Prague, he’s from Ireland, right? Comes from an extremely superstitious family, whereas he was a little more enlightened. Anyway, on our last night in the lab, we’re both up until 3 in the morning bagging rocks--”

“Sounds like a real rock star lifestyle you had there.”

Cole paused. “Did you just… with that rock pun…? You know what, I’m gonna store that in the back of my mind and comment on its magnificence later. So we’re up at 3, in this dark, dank little lab, and he freaks out a little looking at the time. I asked him if he was okay, and he says to me--”

“Oh my god. Are you about to attempt an Irish accent? Please say yes.”

“Lili, no.” She giggled. “He says to me, ‘Sorry, man. I just get a little creeped out around this time - the witching hour, you see. My ma always went on about it. Kinda hard to get rid of the habit.’”

Lili yawned, but she was intrigued. “So what was it?”

“Apparently, the witching hour - between 3 and 4 am - was usually the most active time for witches, spirits and demons. Something to do with the absence of canonical prayers at that time. But I looked it up afterwards, and it’s a real thing - people swear by it. They say that most ghost sightings happen around that time.”

Lili could have slugged him. “So... you’re telling me... that you’re keeping me up at this ungodly hour... to see if we could sight a ghost?”

Cole smiled sheepishly. “You were up anyway…?”

“Cole!” She was freaking out now. “This isn’t funny!”

“It’s not meant to be!”

They were half arguing, half giggling themselves silly. Lili dove underneath the covers, and Cole followed her in, tickling her mercilessly as she tried to wriggle out of his grasp.

A loud thump from the other side of the wall terrified them, and they both froze. A series of mumbled swear words from another disgruntled guest put them at ease. Not a ghost. Lili sighed in relief.

“Surrender?” Cole asked.

“Surrender,” she conceded.

They lay back down on the bed, still breathless from laughing. He turned to her, and took her hand in his, holding it against his chest.

“Hey. I love you,” he breathed out. “You know that, right?”

Lili turned to look back at him, and smiled. A year of this, and still it gave her a small thrill. What is it about us and saying ‘I love you’ in haunted places? To anyone else, it would have seemed bizarre. But to her, it made perfect sense. Because when they first met, Cole had been nothing more than an apparition that haunted her dreams - a vague half-entity that she knew so little of, that held no form other than the jacket he left her with.

But as time went on, the apparition put on flesh, and he became more real with each memory they created, each adventure they embarked on, each kiss that they shared. And then it wasn’t him that haunted her, but the fear of the uncertain, which they banished with finality at the abandoned asylum.

And now, here they were, in another haunted spot, celebrating a milestone while waiting for actual ghosts. We are the weirdest, she thought. And I love us.

“Lili?”

She snapped out of her thoughts and turned to him. She brought her hand up to caress his face, marvelling that this was real - that it felt real to her beyond what her fingers could touch. That she could feel it in her lungs and in her heart and in her bones.

“Yeah, I know, Cole,” she finally replied. “I love you, too.”

He turned over so that he was looking down at her, then kissed her bare shoulder. “So you staying up with me for witching hour? Could be interesting, right?”

Lili chuckled. “I thought you said you didn’t believe in that shit.”

“I don’t,” he said. “But I’m a skeptic willing to be proven wrong. Just don’t tell Dylan.”

She laughed and nodded and pulled him down for a firm kiss. Why the hell not. “Sure,” she replied.

They snuggled underneath the covers, Cole rattling off anecdotes at random, Lili listening, willing herself to stay awake. Not to witness the supernatural, but to experience the tangible. To experience Cole.

Let the ghosts come, she thought, as he put his arms around her.

She had nothing left to fear.

[kclenhartnovels]

Handbook for Heartless Killers Excerpt

Since @greenhousewriting got me talking about it, and @sarcastic--screaming was super interested, here is an excerpt from early in the book. This is her fifth interview with one of my favorite villains. The book is told from Analise’s perspective, so be ready to get into her head.

Rule Five: Be Ruthless

Morgana Anastasia Chekov Rain

I left breakfast relatively early, taking my remaining half a bagel and coffee with me to my little makeshift office. There, I reviewed my notes from the first four interviews, trying to establish some sort of pattern between them, some sort of hint of what could be plausible triggers for someone to lose it. I wished I had a better idea of what I was looking for, but it was something to focus my brain on when I was gathering myself. I almost wished I had brought the book along I had been reading the night before, not because it was terribly interesting, but just to have something inane to let myself tune out the world.

“Whenever you’re ready, Dr. Henderson.”

I was ready for a vacation.

Morgana Rain threw me off-guard when I first walked into the room. I wasn’t sure what I expected from the name printed on the paper—maybe some hefty mob boss’s wife, or even a svelte Russian assassin like Black Widow, but Morgana was none of those. She could have been a pin-up model with an hourglass figure accented in a white dress and heels, thick dark hair spilling over one shoulder. She hardly looked weak though, standing beside the far door inspecting her manicured nails in a manner of one who was deep in thought rather than really interested in appearances. She had on at least four rings that all looked like they had real stones in them, and there was nothing gaudy in her appearance despite the abundance of jewelry. When I stepped in, she looked up and smiled, giving me a once-over and a look that told me she was less than impressed, and wanted me to know it.

“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting long,” I greeted, not entirely sure where to start with her.

“Not long,” she assured, only carrying a faint accent. She stepped away from the door at last, and took my hand when I offered it.

“Can I get you anything to drink before we start? Coffee, tea, water?” I felt like I was stalling. I wished I had taken longer getting ready.

“I’m fine. You look as if you could use something yourself, though,” she added, her gaze wandering up and down again. “Rough day at the office?”

“Oh, the day is still young. If I call it rough already, I’m going to be in trouble later.” I sat down at last, and she did the same. I wished I had come in before her, to see how she had investigated the room, because right now she paid it absolutely no mind. She was fixed on me instead, and I felt like I was under intense evaluation, and I didn’t like it. I was supposed to be the one getting into her head, not the other way around. “May I call you by your first name?”

Her smile could have charmed baby birds and curdled milk at the same time. “May I call you by yours, Analise?”

“If you wish, that’s fine.”

“Then Morgana will do.”

“So, Morgana, what do you do for a living?”

She smiled again, her dark eyes focused on me. I felt my stomach quiver, and I was sure it wasn’t the excess coffee. She crossed her legs comfortably, her dress riding up to show a generous portion of thigh. Jesus, this woman. She must make heads turn everywhere. “I own a business with my husband and family. It keeps me busy.”

“What sort of business?”

“The White Russian. Have you heard of it?”

“The strip club?”

She smiled innocently. “Oh, have you been?”

Somehow I wasn’t at all surprised. “Not personally, no. I have friends who have gone. They liked it.”

“You should come down sometime. We have a ladies’ night twice a month.”

“How did you get into a business like that?”

“My cousin was technically in charge of it at first, but he had no head for it. He would have run it into the ground within a month. So I convinced my Uncle to let me help him out. Well, eventually my husband and I took over completely. We turned a much better profit that way.”

“Do you like it there?”

“I love it. My husband loves it the rare occasion I get on stage, too.”

“I imagine so,” I agreed, a bit breathlessly. As much as I tried to stay professional and concentrating on my notes, my eyes kept straying to the curve of her lips and the way her dark hair tumbled over her shoulder, drawing the gaze down to her breasts. “He doesn’t mind all the other men looking at you?”

“He’s not the jealous type. But he does love making other men jealous of him. Have you ever stripped before?”

“Not in public, no.” I felt my ears heat, and I wished I could stray the topic from sex without moving away from her work. The first time I had stripped for someone was with my first girlfriend, and I remembered dancing around her dorm room teasingly, watching her smile grow when I tossed my bra back over at her, but kept my arm across my chest to keep her from seeing anything. And I remember clearly being tackled onto the bed afterwords.

“You could probably turn a decent profit. Pay off those college loans, yeah?”

“The military paid for my education, but thank you all the same.”

She shrugged, and smoothed her hands along her lap with the slow, seductive movement of a professional temptress. Jesus Christ. Michael had gotten me hot and bothered on accident; this woman oozed sex from every pore. The heat rose into my cheeks now and I felt it flushing between my legs as well. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t want to go anywhere alone with her. She had a look about her that promised a good time, but only on her terms, and I was sure that her terms would include more bite marks and bruises than I cared for.

I cleared my throat. “Did you grow up in this area, too?”

Morgana shook her head. “I was born in Russia, outside of Khabarovsk, which is near the border of China. I came to America when I was fifteen.”

“Your parents moved here?”

“No, they still live there with my other siblings. I couldn’t stand it there. I left to live with my Uncle. He told me if I could make it to California, he would take care of me from there. I don’t think he realized that I had every intention of actually doing it.”

“You traveled on your own from Russia to California? How did you get the money to travel?”

She smiled slyly. “I found a way. I took a train to the sea, then a boat to Otaru, Japan. From there, I made my way to Tokyo, and then flew into San Fransisco. My Uncle picked me up there, and flew me to New York City. That’s where he was living at the time.”

“That’s quite a journey for a teenager on her own. And expensive.”

“I made my way through it. I was good at convincing people to help me. And I did what needed to be done.”

The way she spoke, I wasn’t sure if she was talking about sex or murder. I would have to find a way to get her to be more specific. Maybe I needed to go a different direction.

“What does your Uncle do for a living?”

She folded her hands demurely in her lap. “My Uncle Nicolai? He runs a part of the Russian mob.”

Well, that was more specific. And it crossed off a lot of my questions right off the bat. “And your husband is part of the mob as well?”

“He is now,” she chuckled. “My Uncle was not thrilled when I first started dating him, but now he is more of a son to him than my cousin is. If he can convince the rest of the crew, I think that Rain will take over one day. At least until Nikki is old enough.”

I wrote down all of the names she said to get back to later. There was almost too much to go off of now. "Rain," I repeated. "You call your husband by his last name?" I had to assume, based on her name at the top of my paper.

She laughed. "Well, everyone does. He hates his first name. Bartholomew," she added with a snicker that showed she clearly was not supposed to say it. "His parents were pretentious. I do call him by his first name if I want to get him riled up."

"How did you meet him, if he wasn't part of the mob?"

She sighed, and leaned back into her chair. "My Uncle insisted that I should get a proper education before I got into the family business, so he sent me to college. I met Rain there in my second year. We had similar tastes, we found out pretty quickly. I wasn't much interested in college, to be honest. It bored me. I wanted to be out of it and doing something more productive. Or at least doing somewhere where I didn't have to rely on my family if I didn't need to. So when I saw Rain and the car he was driving, I went for him."

"The car he was driving? He looked rich then?"

"He was—well, his parents were," she said with a grin. "And he was quite good-looking, which helped. After that we never parted. It all worked out well for us."

"Does he see you as a trophy wife then?" I had to try and figure out their dynamic. She was clearly a strong and hard-headed woman. Did she rule the roost, or was he just the same way? She didn't seem to be describing him as a rich husband to crush under her heel as much as a partner in crime. Especially if he was being lined up to be a mob successor, he had to have something else going for him.

She laughed again, and I could see a genuine adoration in her smile, which surprised me. I suppose there was no rule saying that criminals couldn't love each other, but it seemed odd to me to have it so clearly there. "I am a trophy wife, but he sees me as his wife. I could say I see him as a trophy husband as well, which wouldn't be entirely untrue. But we are partners and equals, if that is what you are asking."

I took in another slow breath, and pinched the bridge of my nose for a moment. My head was starting to hurt, but I was trying to ignore it. At least that was better than letting my thoughts stray to sex while talking with her. I could take aspirin for a headache. "You mentioned Nikki taking over the family later on. Who is he?"

"My son," she said with more of that adoration seeping in. "I named him after my Uncle. He's only a little over a year old now."

"Is he your first child?"

"Yes and no," she chuckled. "I gave birth to twins—Anastasia and Nicolai. Rain is home with them at the moment, so I am sure they are keeping him quite busy. My Uncle is completely in love. He has more or less adopted them as his rightful heirs, since his son shows no promise of getting married any time soon. Not that I can blame any women for avoiding him. He is a pig, and a spineless and ugly one at that. It suits me just fine. Now I can secure the future of my children instead."

"Have you done something to help convince your Uncle that his son is less than worthy?"

"I didn't really have to," she said with a viper's smile that told me a different story. "He is lazy and stupid. I could run circles around him even without my private school education. He tried to exert his will over me, but it was such a fragile thing. He's not up to much these days. He hangs around with his circle of sycophants and smokes weed and complains. I don't know the last time he has even completed a job for the family. I think my Uncle has stopped asking, especially since Rain has been around to take care of things for him."

I wrote quickly. While it was true there were plenty of people with no ambition on their own, the way she spoke I was sure she did something to her cousin to get him to back down and bow out. There was no doubt in my mind that she could do it. "So your husband does work for your Uncle and the rest of the mob? What kind of work?"

"Whatever needs doing," she cooed, shifting in her chair to sit more comfortably. "I help him out sometimes, of course."

"Do you like that kind of work?"

"It depends on what it is," she shrugged, casually picking at one of her nails. "I have been called sadistic before, though. Usually by the people we are extracting information from. Or from Rain's birthday presents."

I stopped writing, and even though I really didn't want to know, I had to ask. "Birthday presents?"

"Oh, yes." Her dark eyes focused in on mine, and I felt like a mouse pinned under a lion's paw. "His favorite gift from me is a pretty girl tied to the bed waiting for him. Oh, don't look so concerned. They end up enjoying it eventually, and they're always able to limp home. It's not such an unusual thing."

"Do...the girls know what they're getting into beforehand?"

She laughed. "If they did, then how could he enjoy the look of fear on their faces when I first bring him in?"

Jesus Christ. I needed some air. "Do you mind if we take a short break?" I asked, standing more abruptly than I intended.

Her smile could have sweetened vinegar. "Of course not, Analise. Take all the time you need."

[arplis]

Arplis - News: 12 True Sex Stories You Have to Read to Believe

“WHEN HARRY MET SALLY” - COLUMBIA PICTURES   You’re out to brunch with your girlfriends, how long does it take for the conversation to turn to sex? Not long, amiright? It’s not just the ladies on “Sex and The City” who love to talk about sex—it’s most of us. We talk about it with our friends, our partners, and depending on how self-conscious you may feel, complete strangers. We talk about our true sex stories wether it be the amazing sex we’ve had, the comical, the sometimes strange and unusual, and even the not-so-great sex.  For many of us, we learned more about sex from our friends than we did from our parents or sex education class. It’s fun to share our sex stories—if it wasn’t, there wouldn’t be live storytelling shows, podcasts, books, TV shows, or movies. Fantasy has its place, but the stories that resonate the most with us are the true stories, those that actually happened. I AM & CO put the word out that we were looking for true sex stories and we received a very diverse response; stories from various sexual preferences, practices, and levels of sexual experience. All of these true sex stories are ones you have to read to believe. 12 True Sex Stories Guaranteed to Raise Eyebrows “Not Friends, No Benefit” Comedian Shalewa Sharpe, creator of  "So You Just Out Here?" I ran into my one-night-stand guy at the club. Now, some people might call that a “friend with benefits” but that term suggests that the two parties are friendly enough to schedule a benefit. This guy and I were not friends. Our benefits only happened if we ran into each other at the club. So, we made out for a minute, then he suggested we take this party to my car. This was how I ended up parked behind a grocery store, attempting to have sex with this guy in my 1988 Honda Prelude—a sports coupe, with bucket seats. Have you had sex in bucket seats? If so, a follow-up question: are you double jointed? The guy and I struggled for a bit, then his face fell. “Oh, this sucks,” he moaned. “It’s because my dick’s too small.” I had to console this guy while also keeping an eye out for the cops. If you find yourself in this predicament, don’t end up saying what I said: “Hey man, we’re in bucket seats—this ain’t gonna be easy.” A real mood-killer. We threw in the towel, I dropped him off back at the club and went home. Later that night, my roommate, who was the club’s doorperson, mentioned that she saw the guy with a weeping woman at the end of the night—they were walking in circles around the parking lot, then they hopped on his motorcycle and split. The next day, as I was furiously scrubbing and vacuuming my car, I found a driver’s license for a young woman wedged between the front passenger seat and the middle console. I guess it fell out of one-night-stand guy’s pocket during the, uh, festivities. I scratched out the ID’s info, punched a hole in it, and hung it on my rearview mirror as a cautionary tale. “It’s Part Of It” Jason, Columbus, Ohio We were both in college and had been dating for a while when she decided to take it to the next level. “Tie me up,” she demanded. “Okay, um, I’m going to tie you up now,” I said and went to get some scarves that were conveniently strewn about and set to work. “No!” “Oh, my God! I’m so sorry! I thought that…” and I began to loosen the bonds.  “No, it’s part of what makes it so hot.” “Oh, right,” I said and went back to doing Boy Scout knots such as the square knot and the sheepshank. I wondered if I should go with the trucker’s hitch? Nah. Too much.  “I’m going to f*ck you now,” I said getting into it. “Let me go!” I immediately stop what I’m doing. “Oh my God, I am an idiot. I am so sorry. I didn’t understand. You see, when you said you wanted, what I thought was, but in reality, I see… Oh no, I’m so sorry.” I quickly start to untie all the knots.  “No, it’s part of it.”  “What Goes Around, Comes Around” Ashley, Raleigh, North Carolina I paid my boyfriend for sex the first summer we were together…11 years later, he’s paying me for sex. “The Hook-Up Room”  Comedian Anita Flores, host of I'm Listening: A Frasier Podcast with Anita Flores. I’m at my first high- school party, and it’s not going well. Between my social anxiety and the fact that I only know the host, all I can think about is how I’m going to escape. I can’t actually leave, or else I’ll seem “uncool.” Fortunately, I come up with the next best solution. After making some light small talk with the host (Cassie) about her impressive selection of snacks, I ask, “Is there anywhere I can take a nap?” At the time, this seemed like a normal way to still be at the party without having to speak to anyone. I can’t say that Cassie agreed. After a long pause, she replied, “Uh, I guess in my attic.” I gleefully head to the attic. All the lights are off and it’s strangely warm, but it beats talking to people. I feel around and discover a futon I can pretend to sleep on. There I am lying down when something round and muscular attacks my face. It’s a butt, and it's smothering me! Ever want to suffocate someone, but don’t have a pillow? Just wear thick, non-breathable polyester pants. I hear a low voice. It’s a boy butt. He hears my muffled cries, gets up and exclaims, “Whoa, sorry dude!”  Now there’s giggling. He’s with a girl. Suddenly, I hear what sounds like a lot of teens slurping soup. There are more people in this room than I realized. Cassie sent me to take a nap in “the hook-up room!” Picture “Eyes Wide Shut: The Early Years.” Before the masks, there were braces. By this time, the boy butt and his lady friend have taken the futon from me. I'm standing there feeling left out because no one has asked me to join in. I can’t run away, otherwise, everyone will think I’m a prude! So, I find an empty loveseat, plop down, and close my eyes. Because there’s nothing cooler than ignoring sex. I’ll make sure to tell my future teen daughter that, too.  “There Are Rules” Michael, Portland, Oregon I was sessioning with a dominatrix named Vixen when her friend Wendy came over. Vixen blindfolded me and put me in the corner, which I was more than okay with. The minute Vixen’s back was turned, I took off the blindfold, even though I knew (and hoped,) I’d be punished. Vixen took out a strap on from her toy-cupboard and proceeded to f*ck Wendy with it. It was quite a show and later,  I was punished severely for watching—it was well worth the tribute that I paid Vixen. “Don’t Stop Under Any Circumstances!” Carrie, Chicago, Illinois My boyfriend and I were having sex one night on my old as hell bed. He was an ex-professional football player and I’m a big girl, so it shouldn’t have been surprising that right when things were getting super intense, the bed broke. He stopped what he was doing, so I yelled, “Don’t stop! I’m so close!” Without moving from the now broken bed, we get back at it and this time we don’t stop until we both cum. If there had been an earthquake or a tornado, I would have made him keep going then, too. “Side Effects Can Be Embarrassing” Krysta, Orlando, Florida  I've never been really big into taking birth control, but a coworker of mine mentioned that she was on a pill where she only had a period every three months... I wanted in on that! So, I went to my doctor and got on birth control. I started dating this new guy, who was literally the sexiest human-created. Around him, I tried to be Miss Perfection. Meanwhile, I'm on these new birth control pills and the doctor forgot to mention that they had lactose in them. I'm extremely lactose intolerant, even the smallest bit gives me major gas.  The first time the perfect guy and I had sex was a disaster. Every thrust he made inside of me made me pass gas. It was so embarrassing. We literally had to stop and go to Walgreens to get me some type of gas pills because he and I both couldn't take the noise, let alone the smell.  Let's just say, I stopped taking those pills immediately.  “Sex On The Deserted Beach” Beverly, New York City My partner and I were having a romantic vacation for my birthday in Newport, Rhode Island, and decided to spice things up by making love on a (deserted) beach in the middle of the night. Unfortunately, this beach was not quite as deserted or private as we had initially anticipated. All of a sudden we saw flashes of bright light, immediately stopped, and became alarmed.  A police officer arrived, trying to hold back a grin, and asked us if we'd seen some "kids swimming" after hours. We said no, he left, and we quickly packed up our things to make a quick exit. We drove home laughing not quite knowing what to make of the experience, but it certainly was a bonding one. It's definitely an evening and birthday I won't soon forget. “Don’t Disturb Grandpa” Spencer, Phoenix I hooked-up once with this guy who was taking care of his grandpa. It was around 10:00 p.m. by the time I got to his house. Whispering, he asked me to follow him and to not make any noise, his grandpa was watching TV in the living room. The guy sneaked me into a bedroom, but I guess that wasn’t soundproof enough, so we went into the closet and had very cramped and uncomfortable sex in there. I don’t think his grandpa had any idea about what was going on. “Male High Club” Reynaldo, San Diego, California I was taking a night flight home from Hawaii, as I was sitting down, I turned to see a guy who was so handsome I was stunned. Like a lot of us, he wore shorts and Aloha shirts, but he was well-built and looked more like he’d be a lead on one of those Hawaii detective shows. There was an empty seat near me on the aisle, and the guy asked if he could sit there to stretch out his legs. Other than nodding yes, we didn’t talk. The man grazed my knee with his leg, and all the hairs on my leg stood on end. And he didn’t pull away right away, just gradually. He got up to get a blanket from the overhead compartment which he placed over his legs. With no talking at all, he made the slightest gesture to offer me some of the blanket. Before you know it, the blanket was spread over both our legs. Then, our hands somehow started to find each other. And for a long time on the flight, that was it…just our hands grasping together, coming loose, rejoining, stroking fingers. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I was rock hard. And gradually, very gradually, all without talking and with this stud of a guy who I did not know at all, our hands gradually started to stroke each other’s thighs, mirroring each other.  And eventually, very discreetly to not get attention or show movement above the blanket, we each found our erections extending out through the bottom of our shorts, and we grabbed each other. Eventually, some napkins or handkerchiefs were brought below, and without making any sound, we both came, and it was pretty simultaneous.  “Kung Fu Fighting” Carol Gee, Author, “Random Notes ( About Life. "Stuff"And Finally Learning To Exhale)” A romantic, I fantasized about what it would be like to have sex on satin sheets. My fantasy materialized when my husband and I, two young Air Force sergeants returning from living in the Far East, stopped to visit another Air Force friend and his lady in San Francisco. Invited to spend the night, the lady made the guest room bed up with a brand new pair of red satin sheets. How did she know my fantasy? I couldn’t wait to get my husband in bed to enjoy sex so good that the neighbors in the apartment next door would have needed a cigarette.  I took a shower, smoothed on scented body lotion and got into bed. My husband was already in it waiting for me. On those satin sheets, our lovemaking suddenly morphed into Kung Fu fighting. Taking me into his arms I accidentally poked him in the ribs. Oof! Climbing on top of him I kneed in the thigh. Ouch! Attempting to kiss him I missed his mouth and ended up rubbing noses with him. Then his pillow slid off the bed, mine quickly followed. Instead of holding onto him, I held tightly to the bedsheets trying not to slide off, taking him with me. Not only was the whole thing a disaster, but we also got very little sleep that night for trying to stay in the middle of the bed. Frankly, I'm glad those sheets weren’t mine as they would most likely have ended up as pretty red curtains.  “Girl/Girl Love Lesson” Sensual Massage Therapist, Jazmin Light The streets of Zurich were empty as I headed toward their place. The gentleman on the phone had asked me if I would "be" with his girlfriend—while he watched. He said she wanted a woman to show him "what women like." The World Cup soccer games were on, and that night, Switzerland was playing. The air bristled with excitement. All anyone talked about was "Fussball." Everyone's windows were wide open due to the summer heat.  A classy-looking man in his mid-fifties opened the door to a modern loft apartment. Surprised, I wondered, “Shouldn't he know what women like by now?” Behind him, pouring champagne at the high-top table, stood Nadia, perhaps thirty years his junior. In her red La Perla lingerie and matching stilettos. She handed me a glass and kissed me on the mouth. We made a toast. I took a sip, then lifted Nadia's silky blonde hair and kissed her neck. I let my lips and teeth linger, then gave her a soft bite. She gasped. Suddenly, a roar of voices sailed in through our window and engulfed us. "YAAAAAY!!!” The cheering came from next door, from above us, below us, and from outside. “GOAL!” We laughed as the ruckus died down. I stroked Nadia's hair, neck, and torso. "There are endless ways to please a woman, Manfred," I said, twirling my fingers on her lacy bra cups. Manfred plopped down on the bed and stared at us, his mouth open.  I unsnapped her bra, returning his gaze. "There's much more to women then nipples and—" I slid my hand to her panties, "pearls." Nadia inhaled sharply. "So slow down, savor, discover, and—play!" Nadia groaned, Manfred grinned. New shrieks and cheers exploded throughout the neighborhood. *** When you share a sex story, it can help you to connect with other people, learn about yourself and others, and it can inspire you to try new things. As humans, we’re always growing and that includes our sexuality.  Sex is part of the human experience and it’s always fun to hear someone else’s stories of incredible sex, confusing sex, or way-out-there sex. #Sex #Relationships

Arplis - News source https://arplis.com/blogs/news/12-true-sex-stories-you-have-to-read-to-believe

[anonwriter27]

Chapter 8 (minor smut) :)

5 months later….

Myrcella’s Sundays often started like this, waking up with Robb’s head between her legs. She never was one for early mornings, but for him she’d make an exception. A lot had happened in the last five months. Robb was now able to move his wrist and could move his elbow slightly, he showed her this development by handing her a bouquet of daisies with his right hand, she cried when she saw it.

Bran finally came out to his family, he sent a formal email to each of his siblings as he’d never enjoyed too much attention. He told his mother in person though and she hugged him and demanded he introduce her to his boyfriend. The family hadn’t met Jojen yet, but Myrcella couldn’t wait.

Myrcella had finally met Arya and the two became fast friends. Arya was very different to Myrcella, she preferred jeans and hoodies over skirts and jumpers; however the girls found common ground in teasing Gendry.

As Robb was about to bring her to her peak they heard a deep northern ‘hello’ come from the kitchen.

“I swear I’m taking his key away from him.” Robb sighed, fixing the duvet so it covered them both.

Jon walked in, “Hey Robb what time is the meal oh….. hi Cella.” “Hi Jon.” Myrcella said trying to sound casual, but she knew he could tell what they’d been up to.

“What’s up?” Robb asked, growing increasingly annoyed at the intrusion. “Right.. the meal tonight what time is it?” “It’s at six.”

The Starks were having a family meal. They hadn’t all been together in a long time and Mrs. Stark had insisted upon it.

“Right I’ll see you then, I’ve left the details for the new account on the table, bye Cella.” He waved and left them.

“You should come tonight.” Robb said. “I can’t do that, it’s your family meal.” “So? Arya’s bringing Gendry, Jon’s bringing Ygritte, and I think Bran’s bringing Jojen.” “Jojen is coming!?” She exclaimed. She had wanted to meet Jojen for so long, every time they went out as a group she would wait in anticipation to see Bran’s mystery man, but sadly he was never there.

“See, now you have to come.” “Only if your sure?” “Positive.” He said. “Now where we?” “I’m not sure you’ll have to remind me.” He pulled her to him and she let out a shriek and a giggle. Yes, she thought, I could certainly get use to this.

It was half five and Robb and Myrcella were getting ready to go to the main house.

“What are Sansa and Rickon like?” She asked, she’d never met the Stark siblings and she was beginning to feel nervous. I hope they like me, she thought.

“Well Rickon is a teenager so I imagine he is moody…” “You sound like such an old man!” They laughed. “And Sansa is girly, we haven’t talked much lately, just the occasional phone call.”

Sansa attended the Eyrie college while Bran attended Riverrun and Arya Last Hearth. It was rare to get all the Starks together, but one stern phone call from Mrs Stark was all it took for them to catch the earliest train.

“Don’t be nervous, they’ll love you.” He assured her. “Your biased.” She pointed out teasingly. “Maybe a little bit. Besides, it’s about time you met my family, being a couple and all.” “Your right, I’m just overthinking.” “The day you don’t overthink is the day I know something is wrong.” They laughed and headed to the main house.

Mrs. Stark had really gone all out for this meal. The silverware  alone was probably worth more than everything Myrcella owned. When they arrived nearly every one was there, they were waiting on Arya and Gendry who were notoriously late for all occasions, and Bran and Jojen.

“The place looks beautiful Mrs Stark.” Myrcella said while taking off her coat. She was right, the place looked exquisite. The open fire was roaring, the table cloth was lined in a silver trim that sparkled in the light, and at the centre of the table sat a bouquet of winter roses.

It must be nice to call this place home, Myrcella thought.

“How many times have I told you, it’s Catelyn.” The woman smiled and wrapped Myrcella up in a tight hug, before turning to her son.

Myrcella turned to see a young, slender red head looking at her. This must be Sansa, she realised, noting how she and Robb shared the same eyes.

Sansa wanted to act nonchalant, she was still distant with Robb, but she couldn’t help but adore Myrcella’s outfit. Her top was a dark yellow and black checkered print and her skirt a green tartan. Sansa wanted to talk to her immediately, find out where she got her clothes, but her and Rickon made a pact to wait for Robb to come to them.

He didn’t disappoint. Robb took Myrcella by the hand and made the introductions, “Sansa this is my girlfriend Myrcella.”

Before Myrcella could greet her, Sansa grabbed her by the hands and said, “I love your top! It’s so cute!”

“Oh thank you!” “You have to show me where you shop!” “Yeah that would be fun!” Myrcella instantly relaxed seeing that Sansa was quite similar to her. Robb rolled his eyes at his sisters antics.

“Hi Robb.” She eventually said. “Hi Sans.” “I’m sorry I haven’t been to…” “I understand. I’m sorry I didn’t…” “I understand.”

They hugged, forgiveness enveloping them. It was then that Robb spotted Rickon sat in the other room. “I’ll be right back.” He told Myrcella before he grabbed his walking stick and headed toward his little brother.

“Hey little man.” “I’m fifteen, not exactly a little man anymore.” “You are to me.” Robb remembered the time when his little brother would sneak into his room after having a bad dream, he would make up fairy tales of friendly Giants and dire wolves.

“Yeah well…” Rickon shrugged. “I’m sorry.” “What for?” Rickon asked, trying to act unfazed by Robb’s missing presence. “I should never have shut you out, it wasn’t fair of me.” “I just wanted to help…” “I know.” Robb soothed, putting his arm around his brother. “I just didn’t want to seem weak to you, I’m your big brother.” “Yeah and I’m your brother too, I have to protect you.” Rickon said. And Robb felt his heart ache. “We’ll protect each other from now on, deal?” “Deal.”

They got up to join the others, “So who’s the pretty blonde?”

Robb chuckled, “That’s Myrcella.” “She’s the one that put a smile on your face?” “Yes she is.” “I like her.”

Robb reunited with Myrcella when he found her looking at a picture of his father.

“I don’t really look like him, I take after my mother.” “I think you look like him, the same stern expression.” “I think that’s more a northern thing than a Stark thing.” He chuckled. “He has kind eyes.” She said, and Robb couldn’t help but agree, his father didn’t say much but the look of approval or happiness in his eyes meant more than a thousand words. “He would have liked you.” Robb said, and Myrcella beamed at the compliment.

The Stark clan sat in the living room waiting for their late arrivals, to their surprise it was Arya and Gendry who came in first.

“Hey!” The both yelled. “It’s bloody freezing out there!” Arya exclaimed before sitting down next to Myrcella and Ygritte.

“Gendry smoked today.” She whispered to Myrcella. “Gendry you didn’t!” “Why would you tell my sister that?” He said his head in his hands. “Cuz it’s funny.”

“Shhhhhh!” Sansa was holding her finger to her lips and that’s when they heard the sound of a car engine pulling up the driveway.

All the women but Arya jumped to the window to catch a glimpse of Jojen. The others sighed, except for Jon who was waiting by the door to be the first to greet them.

“Hi!” Bran called out, as he turned a corner into the living room he saw that everyone was stood ready, all with grins spread across their faces.

“Everyone this is Jojen.” And in walked Jojen he was a little bit taller than Bran, with sandy blonde hair and big brown eyes.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you all.” He said

“Hi Jojen.” They all said at the same time, like school children greeting their teacher.

They sat around the table ready for their meal, and conversation was flying around the room. The room was filled with love and laughter, Myrcella nearly cried at being a part of it all.

“So Myrcella has Robb met your family?” Sansa asked. Myrcella took a deep breath, “Robb’s met my mother and younger brother but that’s it.”

“You should invite them all up here,” Catelyn offered, “they are more than welcome.” “That’s very kind of you, thank you.” Robb noted how Myrcella’s breathing had increased, and the angry look on Gendry’s face when their family was brought up.

Robb had seen the scars that Myrcella had, and he knew they had come from her family, but he didn’t know the circumstances in which they came about.

The meal was over and everyone went off in different groups; Myrcella made it her life’s goal to be Jojen’s best friend, which wasn’t difficult as the two had equally bubbly personalities. Robb joined Gendry outside.

“They hurt her, didn’t they?” He asked. Gendry sighed and took a drag from his cigarette. “You have no idea. The mother is just viscous, Cella told me what she was like at that meal you went to, imagine that 24/7.”

Robb nodded, “Must’ve been rough.” “And she’s not even the worst of it.” Robb froze and thought back to her scars, the mother wasn’t the culprit?

“How’d you mean?” “Cersei’s a bitch but all she has is her words. Joffrey, that’s the prick you wanna look out for. He was cruel to Cella, and our father was to drunk to care about it.”

Robb thanked every God he could think of that Myrcella was with him now, and safe. He wouldn’t push her on this, she would just run. He decided to wait until she told him what her family were capable of, and with the Baratheon’s coming to visit, he had no doubt it was only a matter of time.