#LIFE ISNT FAIR AND I CANT DEAL WITH IT 😭

[the-anime-enthusiast]

I miss 2020 fanfiction where I could find the BEAUTIFUL AND SATISFYING fluffy, loving, full backstory, slowburn, gorgeously written, FULL LENGTH one could ever find. Now all I find is straight smut LIKE DAMMIT GIVE ME THE SLOW KINDLING PLEASE SLOW BURN IS ALL I ASK. I WANT A BACKSTORY DAMMIT NOT JUST

"looked into ur e/c orbs while he thrusted-"

LIKE JESUS FFKCKKCKKCK

AO3 is not what it was, I have more luck on Wattpad finding a good full length fanfic now

ITS NOT FAIIRRR 😭😭😭

[pumpkinsy0]

hcs for ponyboy experiencing a lot of dread and worry leading up to his birthday because he's not ready to be older and is feeling some pressure of having to start living his life? i could see this happening on his 15th after everything that happened with johnny and dally (since he kind of stopped living for a bit after that) but any birthday is good! (this is totally not related to the fact that my birthday is in a few days and im feeling a bit of pressure to make sure this year is going to be filled with all the teenage experiences ive missed so far in my life whoopsies)

understandable reaction from both u and pony honestly, but i truly do hope u have a good bday!! u deserve it, but dont rush life!!! the beauty of it is that its different for everyone, thats y we arent all a hive mind!!!!plus, theres no age limit to things u can do<333

• I TOTALLY SEE WYM HERE AND I AGREE IVE ALWAYS THOUGHT THE SAME!!! howeeevverrrrrr i must say that instead of his 15th bday, these r the emotions he would more so feel when hes in his late teens!! like 17-19ish, im leaning more towards 19 however bc johnny was 16 when he died, on ponys 17th bday, he could also feel this way

•i say 19 bc hes gonna b turning 20, the same age as darry was when all that bs happened, and he’d compare himself to darry a shit ton, he’ll kinda see himself as a failure if he cant push himself the way darry did

•while he feels like he has to start his life, he feels like he also missed out on a good portion of it BC of what happened, he feels like he missed out on his teens bc he didnt fully heal from what happened and instead grew up wayyy faster than he shouldve

•ONNNN TOPPPP OF ALL THAT, he feels like he has to live for johnny, dally???? ehhhhhhhh w all due respect, to a bit of a lesser extent

•ik hes haunted by that whole “stay gold” thing too, “how am i supposed to grow up and cope w this in a few days and stay true to myself while doing so” type deal”

•two and sodas jokes about him getting older make him sick to his god damn STOMACCCHHHH, darrys seen pony laugh and then quickly have the look of a soldier back from war and he knows that look bc he has it every damn birthday😭

•darry knows EXACTLY how ponys feeling and hes not the best w emotions so he tries helping how he can, and unfortunately for pony, this means having a talk w darry which is soooo awkward, but it makes him feel less alone

•i could definitely see pony accidentally (age????) regressing, maybe he doesnt notice it at first, but the gang sure do, he starts doing things he hasn’t done in literal years and its bc to him, its simple!!! as soon as he realizes he beats himself up for it and thinks its SO stupid and pushes ts to the farthest part of his brain

•pony doesnt want a huge celebration, so it doesnt feel AS in his face, but i dont think he would fully voice this as a WANT, more like a suggestion, which to b fair, the gang isnt going ALLL out but its still not as lowkey pony would like, however he appreciated them taking it down a few pegs

•on his birthday, funnily enough, i dont think he’d feel that emotional, hes just thinking “hm,,,”