#LET ME REPHRASE THAT. i am probably one step away from a meltdown as is so like. i am utterly incapable of anything today
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I rly want to like. Go sit down and eat and read. But I cannot. Bc I want to stay under my weighted blankets and these are the ones for my bed. So I cannot move them. So I'm not leaving my bed.
#if i leave my bed imma die#i could move n chill infront of the tv and play games#diary#personal#trust me trying to explain my brain process to anyone is litteral hell tbh.#ik the phrase is thought process but i dont wanna go and fix that.#idk im just really. tired and overstimulated i think#so that mean i just cant. idk. like. ik if i do too much today itll wind up with me turninh into an utter wreak.#so like. ill try to prevent that but idk man. i may have a brain n shit but i cant argue with it all that well lmao#i have to keep being like: okay. how about we do this. how about we eat this. etc.#and my brain just be like: no! cannot! its not the exact thing i want. that i also cannot remember/we dont have#seriously send help. bc at this rate i think its turning into a type day.#ugh. i just wanna stay in the dark. with my headphones. n under weighted blankets.#but seriously though. im like and my brain says no bc too much work#and i wanna read. but im not in the perfect mood for what i wanna read and theres nothing short to transition with#I HAVE SO MANY RULES AND ROUTINES N SHIT AND IT CAUSES ENDLESS PROBLEMS NOW BC I JUST DONT DO SHIT NOW#WHY. SERIOUSLY. WHY. JUST. LET. ME. DO. THE. THING.#well. ill probably eat when i figure out the pefect thing to eat. and if its not there thatll probably end me today yknow?#seriously if 1 thing goes wrong today ill probably have a meltdown#LET ME REPHRASE THAT. i am probably one step away from a meltdown as is so like. i am utterly incapable of anything today#seriously. usually i just do nothing on these days. but i need to take care of the bunny later. so wish me luck ig#also. im stimming A LOT lately. and thats pretty much my main indicator that im getting to like a breaking point lmao#haaah. well oh well. wish me luck i suppose.
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