#LDE2024

[rinwritesfics]

Worthy

Plot: You and Crosshair are caught in a storm on the eve of Life Day, and he refuses to have a repeat of Barton IV. Can he keep his feelings to himself in the close quarters?

Warnings: Crosshair has nightmares, self-deprecating thoughts, and has to fight off dirty thoughts.

Word Count: 2277

Prompts: “Um… I think we may be lost.” || putting their coat around the other when they notice they’re shivering

Author’s Note: Happy (early) Life Day, @masterjedilenawrites! I saw Crosshair recurring on your blog, so I picked him. I hope you enjoy it, I sure had fun writing him. Fem!reader, as requested.

This fic is for the Life Day Exchange 2024, hosted by @cloneficgiftexchange.

“I think we may be lost,” you said quietly, looking around. None of the surroundings were familiar, but it was hard to tell with a blizzard coming in quickly.

Crosshair scoffed. “We’re not lost.”

“Alright, then, how close to the shuttle are we?” you asked challengingly.

He scoffed again, then turned and kept walking. He didn’t want to admit that this storm was hindering the progress you both had made. Nor did he want to admit the stinging of the colder wind was biting into the spaces that his armor or outer coverings weren’t enough for. That it was painfully reminding him of almost freezing to death on Barton IV. Of Mayday –

No. He wasn’t going to think of what happened next in those sequences of events. Everything would work out.

He had volunteered to come with you, knowing the storm was moving in anyway. Not that he didn’t trust his brothers to keep you safe on the aid mission, but he felt more comfortable being the one to keep you safe. It had nothing to do with that warmth in his heart when you smiled and greeted him. Or with the increase in the beat of his heart when your hands brushed against his when you handed him a mug of caf. Stars, no. Nothing even close.

He huffed, pulling his foot out of the deep snow, trying to carry on and sneak glances at you at the same time to make sure you were doing okay. He was a trained soldier. You grew up differently. He was expected to grin and bear it, as hardened as he was.

But, when he glanced back, he could see how tightly you were pulling into yourself, trying to keep up your core temperature. You were cold. But you weren’t shivering or saying anything, so maybe you weren’t suffering, yet.

Not that he wanted to see you suffer before he offered help, but the fewer stops you both made, the sooner you would reach safety.

A few more minutes passed by as you both hiked up through the nearly knee-high snow on him and he glanced back again.

Crosshair caught sight of you shivering and his heart sank. Another flashback to him on that mountain as he tried to save himself and Mayday swarmed into his mind. He couldn’t let it happen. Not again. Especially not to you.

If he was chilled, then he knew you were frigid. Without another thought, he began to shrug off his jacket, pack in one hand as he did so.

“Crosshair, what are you doing?” you asked softly, stopping beside him.

Crosshair said nothing, merely shrugging off his jacket and then placing it around your shoulders instead, reveling in the awed way you look up at him, even with the flakes blowing around you both.

“Cross, you’ll get cold,” you protested, but he held his hand up.

“I can handle it,” he said sharply, not wanting you to worry.

You sighed, pulling the jacket closer around you. He liked that you were now surrounded by his scent. It was almost like you were his if you had his scent.

He blinked. That was a bit possessive of him, presumptive since he didn’t even bother to ask how you may have felt about him. He couldn’t ask. It would risk rejection. No, he’d rather pine from afar and dream that you might come to him one day.

But having you wear something that carried his scent was a comfort, even if he was quickly chilling further.

He didn’t know how much longer you both walked through the heavy snow and wind when you said, “We need to find shelter. We’re not going to make it!”

Crosshair didn’t want to agree, since it meant that you were indeed lost, but with the temperatures, you had to. He looked around, searching, and then miraculously spotted a small cabin. So, they weren’t lost. Just moving slow. He began to lead you there, making sure you were staying close.

Once inside, he began numbly trying to pull out the small heating lamp to help the both of you warm a little in the chilled cabin. The wind whistled at the roof and the grey stone fireplace, a small chill finding its way down the chimney. You closed the flue, then came over to him.

Your hands gently helped his with the little camping heat lamp and then you prepped yours for swapping out if his dies.

He stilled as your hands touched his cold, slightly numb ones and he nearly reached to grab them. At the last second, he held himself back. How badly he wanted to hold them. How much he wanted you to touch him, to be close to him. He didn’t realize he was staring at you until you raised a brow and asked what was on his mind. It was a relief to remember he still had his bucket on to hide the longing in his eyes despite the low lighting in here.

He watched you glance around and then raise an eyebrow at the surroundings.

“I’ll take the couch, you take the bed?” you asked quietly, noting that the bedroom was in a separate room in this small cabin.

He wanted to protest. Wanted to feel your body beside his, maybe even under his as he –

No. He couldn’t. You deserved better.

“Okay,” he said gruffly, as controlled as he could despite how his blood heated at the split-second idea of what he could do with you if you wanted to be in bed with him. He wanted it. He really wanted it, but he couldn’t let you know. It wouldn’t end well, no matter how much he wanted to imagine it would. No matter how much he frequently imagined it would.

“Crosshair?” you asked and he had to snap out of his thoughts, a slight thought fog still lingering.

He had to admit he wasn’t paying attention. Kriff.

“What?” he asked a bit gruffly.

Your small, understanding smile squeezed something in his chest and his cheeks warmed a bit. You asked him again if he wanted you to keep watch first.

“No one’s going to come through this storm, but just to be safe, should we keep watch?”

He sighed, then agreed.

As you settled on the couch, you spoke again. “Did you have plans for Life Day tomorrow? Maybe when we get back to the others?”

His brow rose. You both were hunkering down in an abandoned cabin and here you were trying to make holiday small talk? All he wanted for Life Day was for you to like him in the way he was falling for you. But there was no way. He was too messed up. He had done too many bad things and didn’t deserve the goodness you would bring. He didn’t even feel like he deserved to have any attention from you at all.

“No,” he said, his tone a bit more clipped than he had intended, and he winced internally, but you didn’t seem to react. You merely nodded and said you had picked out a gift for Omega and were excited to see her face when she opened it.

Warmth filled his heart at your interest in her happiness and he knew in that moment that he would never be able to let you go. He could never tell you how he felt. It would only serve to scare you off. He never wanted to have to say goodbye to you, so he silently swore to himself he would protect you from everything. Including himself. In response to your interest in his sister’s happiness, he nodded, hoping he wasn’t too delayed in his reaction.

He wasn’t usually this distracted. But here you were. You were with him, and the two of you were all alone in this place. If he hadn’t already convinced himself that he was a threat to your safety and happiness, he’d go for it. You looked so wonderful in the light from the lamp. He watched you shrug off his jacket and panic filled him.

“Keep it,” he rushed out, wanting you to keep wearing something of his. It was like you were secretly marked as belonging with him. He wanted to live in that world for just a bit longer. “Don’t want you to get cold.”

Slowly, you nodded and put the jacket back on and a small flutter raced through his heart.

“I’ll take first watch,” you repeated quietly.

He nodded. Maybe all he needed was some sleep and he could get a better control of himself. Yeah, he’d be fine after some rest.

He turned and headed for the bedroom just off the main room, muttering a ‘goodnight’ as he went.

Once inside, he quickly had a ration bar and then laid back on the bed, trying to fall asleep. Unfortunately, all his mind wanted to do was bring up memories of your smile, your hands over his, and the way your body could move as you –

No. He couldn’t think of you like that. Not so close to you. He needed to rest, not think of your curves.

Or your pretty smile.

Or your sweet voice.

Gah, he needed to sleep!

Eventually, he was able to get to sleep, but all he was greeted with were stress dreams. And then, the big one – except, instead of Mayday, it was you. Your curves pressed against him as you slowly froze to death, injured from the avalanche.

His eyes flew open and he gasped, the world around him dark and blurry aside from the small heat lamp set in the floor. But even in the blur, he could make out your form as you reached to him.

He croaked out your name, then scrubbed a hand over his face in both frustration and relief.

“Sorry, Cross, I heard you from the couch and wanted to check on you,” you admitted softly. His heart soared at your caring.

“Bad dream,” he groaned, only realizing after a moment that he should have kept his mouth shut as you shifted to sit beside him.

“I’m here to listen, Cross. It might help you.”

Your soft smile. Your gentle gaze. He didn’t know if it was those or the way you just cared so much about his comfort, but he found himself blurting out, “You got hurt.”

The pause in your frame made his heart leap into his throat. Now, he’d done it. He’d clued you in to how much he cared about you. His gaze averted from you and he tried to look anywhere but you.

“Crosshair,” you began softly.

He was so sure he’d been busted that he steamrolled forward without thinking, “I couldn’t live with myself if you got hurt.”

Your smile appears. It’s gentle, understanding, and warm. “Aw, Crosshair. I know I’m safe with you, no matter what happens.”

“That’s just the thing,” he said, unable to stop himself. “I can’t stop something bad from happening to you. Not like… Mayday.”

You moved closer to him and his heart hammered in his chest. You weren’t moving away from him. You weren’t afraid of him.

“I trust you, Cross. If something happens, then something happens. But it’s okay. We’re safe here tonight.” You hesitated, then continued, “Would you feel more confident if I stay here with you?”

You were offering to lay in the bed with him. It was such a bad idea. But he wanted it desperately.

“Please,” he croaked, silently cursing his lack of strength.

You shed his jacket onto the end of the bed, slide off your shoes and utility belt onto the floor, and then slid under the covers with him. His heart sped up, nerves were set aflame, and head began to spin.

Maybe that was the reason he couldn’t control his next words as he breathed out, “This is dangerous for me.”

“Why?” you whispered back.

He silently cursed himself, but as your hand touched his upper arm, he felt a little bit of confidence. “Because I like you.”

Your smile returns. “You do?”

That smile is like an injection of something calm into his nerves. He feels relieved enough to say, “I do.”

Your free hand reaches up and cups his cheek, your smile growing in the dim light. “I like you, too.”

His heart skips a beat. Was his Life Day wish coming true?

“You do?” he asked cautiously.

“I do,” you whispered, and that’s all it took for his arms to wrap around you, your soft giggle at his instant reaction only working to make his heart flutter more.

“Stay,” he whispered. Your scent was almost overwhelming, but it was going to mix with his the longer you stayed pressed against him. And that made him hold you more firmly.

“I promise,” you whispered back, snuggling into his embrace.

He couldn’t believe his luck. He could be happy. Someone could love him back. He was worthy.

He was worthy.

As the both of you fell asleep, the wind whistled outside, buffeting the side of the cabin. But he was wrapped in your arms. Warm. Safe. Cared for.

He could face anything, so long as you were by his side. He had his siblings, and he had you. He would be okay, no matter what happened.

As the two of you fell asleep, warm in the cold cabin, he breathed out, “I love you.”

And you whispered back, “I love you, too.”

In that moment, nothing could have been better.

It was going to be the best Life Day ever. He had you by his side after so long.

And you two would be okay.

[urfriendlyneighbornightfury]

Mistletoe Kiss

For @lyaswriting for the Life Day exchange 2024 by @cloneficgiftexchange

I hope you enjoy it

Christmas music played in the background of your little house as you were decorating the living room. Humming along to the music, hanging up some Christmas lights along the window, your thoughts drifted to the thought of the Bad Batch coming to visit. You were excited that they had leave over the holidays, allowing them to spend time with you and their partners.

Well, most had partners. To your luck, Crosshair, your crush, was still single. But you still hadn’t had the courage to confess to the surly sniper.

You were so distracted that you didn’t even notice that the very man you were thinking about had arrived, using the key you had given him to get into your house.

“You’re in a festive mood.”

Hearing the sniper’s soft, serpentine voice startled you, making you let out a small scream of surprise as you fell off the ladder.

Thankfully, Crosshair was standing there, and his quick reflexes managed to keep you from hitting the ground.

“Careful, sarad. Don’t want you getting hurt,” Crosshair said with a smirk as he stared down at you in his arms. The blush that had formed from him catching you deepened as he teased you.

“Well, I wouldn’t have fallen off the ladder if you hadn’t scared me like that,” you huffed as Crosshair set you back on your feet. The sniper chuckled.

“You were so absorbed in your little decorating that you didn’t notice me coming home,” he replied, his amber eyes glittering with mischief. You felt your heart flutter as he called your house home, but you quickly pushed it aside.

“Oh shut it,” you pouted, not being able to find a rebuttal to his words. Crosshair chuckled again, clearly amused.

“Where are your brothers?” You asked as you moved to climb back up the ladder. Crosshair held onto it to keep it from moving.

“They’re with their partners,” Crosshair said, watching you move up the ladder, his gaze drifting down towards your rear. He smirked to himself, but resisted the urge to give it a playful snack. He didn’t want you falling off the ladder again. “So I decided to grace you with my presence.”

“Well, I’m honored,” you said, half-sarcastically, half honestly, missing the way Crosshair rolled his eyes.

The sniper watched you hang up the Christmas lights on the window, momentarily slipping a toothpick into his mouth as he watched you with his sharp eyes.

“Sarad?”

“Yeah?” Even though you didn't know what it was that he called you, you were sure it wasn’t something bad. Especially with the way his brothers reacted— sharing knowing looks and smirks.

“Everyone seems so focused on the holidays, but it seems all so different,” Crosshair said slowly, as if trying to figure out the best way to formulate his question. “Your type of decorations seem to be the most common, but I noticed that others have different…” he trailed off, not knowing exactly how to put it into words. But you knew what he was trying to ask.

“Well, around this time of year, there are many different holidays, depending on the religion. Hunter’s partner and her friends celebrate Yule, a Norse pagan holiday, which you can say is the predecessor of Christmas. Phee celebrates Kwanza, and some of her friends celebrate Hanukkah.”

“And you celebrate this… Christmas, you call it?”

“Yeah, I do. Normally, it’s a celebration of the birth of Earth’s savior, Jesus Christ, but lately it’s more focused on family. I mean, many strong Christian believers will still firmly believe that it’s primarily for Jesus, but our pagan friends put it, the holiday evolves as time progresses,” you explained as you finished putting up the lights, slowly coming back down the ladder.

Crosshair hummed in reply, seemingly deep in thought. You weren’t all too surprised that Crosshair asked you and not Tech, considering the genius clone would go into full depth and detail about the various holidays, infodumping on whichever poor unfortunate soul would be nearby.

Crosshair helped you continue decorating your house, when something caught his attention. A sprig of holly and mistletoe. *That* was something he knew about.

Smirking, he tossed aside his toothpick, picked up the bundle and snuck up behind you. Holding up the holly and mistletoe above the two of you, Crosshair tapped you on the shoulder.

You turned around to face him, and noticed that he was holding something above you. Eyes going up, you blushed as you saw the little bundle of plants he was holding above you.

“I know about this tradition, sarad,” Crosshair purred as your eyes met his. Your blush deepened, but you leaned up and gave him a peck on the cheek.

Crosshair tsked in disapproval. “You missed,” he said, using his free hand to grasp your chin to hold you in place as he pressed his lips against yours.

Your mind short-circuited by his bold move, but your body responded for you, returning the kiss as you wrapped your arms around his neck, eyes closing in bliss.

There was a spark between you, that metaphorical one when you found the right person, and it made your heart soar.

After a moment, you both reluctantly parted from each other, but Crosshair rested his forehead against yours.

“Been wanting to do that for a while now,” he murmured, holding your face gently. This surprised you, and Crosshair gave a soft chuckle at the look on your face.

“I call you sarad. It means flower in Mando’a. A pet name. Because I am…” he trailed off, sighed, and murmured “Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum.”

“Cross… I don’t understand Mando’a,” you said softly, but you knew in your heart of hearts what that meant.

“It means that I hold you in my heart forever,” Crosshair translated after a moment of hesitation, which you noticed. So you decided to lighten the mood.

“Forever is a really long time, you know that, right?” You teased, earning a rare smile from him.

“You’re worth it, so I’m not complaining.”

This made your heart soar again. Especially when Crosshair kissed you again to prove his point.