#Kyouko Sunburst Idol Unit

[ramblinganthropologist]

Fictober 24 31

Summary: Ray's a great actress, but she's struggling with a scene in the drama she's in. So, who better to help her run lines than her best pal Kyouko? Actually... she might be the best and worst person for the job, all things considered. Keep your head, KK, or else you might do something stupid.

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RJ to KK: I’ll be there in five minutes.

RJ to KK: Thanks again for helping me run lines!

Kyouko smiled at her phone screen as she read over the messages. It was just two simple lines, but even reading them made her insides flutter. She knew she was being completely ridiculous, and logic would win over eventually… but she was free to fly off into the distance for a brief moment.

It was a crisp fall Saturday in late October, just before Halloween. She was waiting inside Sew Lolita, straightening displays of frilly dresses and making sure the accessories were nicely displayed. It was second nature to her – she moved as if on instinct, tidying and adjusting things as she went.

Perhaps it was natural – she had been around the shop her entire life. One day, it might even be hers if her parents decided to let her take the brand over.

“You seem happy, Kyou-chan. What’s got you in such a good mood?”

Her grandma’s voice called from the counter, bringing her back to reality. She shook her head, coming back down to earth and adjusted her glasses in response. At least her cheeks didn’t turn pink, but they definitely felt a little warm.

“Oh, uh, nothing, grandma. I’m just waiting for Ray to show up.”

Granny smiled at her, eyes sparkling. “Oh, is that all? Are you two just going to hang out today?”

Kyouko felt her face burn for sure that time as she glanced away. “No, uh, she needs help running lines for something she’s in. Not sure why, she’s usually got a handle on the acting thing.”

Having a handle on things was putting it mildly – Ray was a phenomenal actor. Somehow, the grumpy looking punk idol was able to morph into the characters she portrayed with seemingly effortless ease. Truly, she had a talent for the role and no doubt a sparkling future if she decided to stick with it.

In a weird way, it was comforting. Even if she did have talent, she still had to work on things to be at her best.

“Maybe it was something she couldn’t prepare on her own.” The entry bell rang, cutting off the conversation. “Ah, Ray-chan. Nice to see you. How’s the weather out there today? Does it look like I need to sweep the storefront?”

Ray’s heavy boots hit the wooden floor hard as she entered the shop, and the sound made Kyouko’s heart race. “Hi, Granny Momo. It’s pretty nice out there, though it’s a bit windy. If you want, I can sweep for you when we finish up.”

That made her grandmother chuckle softly. “Thank you, but I can still handle a broom just fine. You just focus on running lines with Kyou-chan. I’ll come up with snacks later to see how you two are doing.”

Then she was heading outside, broom in hand. When the door closed again, Kyouko blinked back to reality. Ray was standing at the counter, backpack slung over one shoulder. Just seeing her there made her heart skip a beat, but she did her best to reign it in.

After all, she was supposed to be helping.

“Thanks again for helping me, KK. This scene is driving me nuts, and Aya couldn’t really help me get it right last night.”

Kyouko nodded as they headed up the stairs that led to her family’s home above the shop. Today, it was empty due to the fact her parents were away on business. So it was just her and her friend as she unlocked the door to let them in.

She had tried not to think about it, but it hit her like a ton of bricks as they entered her room and shut the door behind them. There were no adults in the house, and her grandmother was busy with sweeping. It was just the two of them, completely alone, with no one to keep an eye on them.

Not… that they were going to do anything untoward. After all, they were just… friends. Just friends, nothing more. Nothing more…

“Oh, uh, not a problem. I’m happy to help.” She settled down on the cushion in front of her low table and watched as Ray landed hard on the floor across from her. “So, you didn’t say what kind of scene you were struggling with. What are we working on today?”

The other idol didn’t answer at first because she was busy digging into her backpack. Her eyebrows knit in concentration, and for a brief moment anxiety flashed through her green eyes. It was a look Kyouko had learned to read well – the meaning was like a flashing neon sign in the middle of the night.

“Did you forget the script?”

Ray shook her head as she kept digging. “No, I know I packed it. My bag is just a mess from school. I’d dump it out, but it’s not like I’m in my room right now. Just give me a second, I’ll find it.”

Kyouko shook her head, chuckling slightly. “Didn’t you say you were going to try and keep your work bag and school bag separate this year?”

Her friend had been insistent about that – she had promised she would be better about it after summer break was over. Apparently, that hadn’t lasted very long. Though her will was great in most things, Ray couldn’t keep organized to save her life. It was one part ADHD, one part her natural propensity for chaos.

In a strange way, it was kind of charming.

“I may have to put that off until next term.” Ray chuckled sheepishly, reaching back to rub the back of her neck. That little chuckle made her stomach bubble – it was hard to keep herself from smiling. “But I know I got it! I remember packing it before I left the house…”

A few more seconds of digging continued, and briefly Kyouko had to wonder if she might have really forgotten it after all. However, her fears were put to rest as the idol triumphantly pulled a thick book of paper from the depths of her bag.

Apparently, she had packed it after all.

“Ha, I knew I brought it!” She grinned broadly, eyes glittering. “I tried to get a second copy so we could each have one to read off of, but I wasn’t able to do it in time. Is it ok if we read off the same copy?”

Reading off the same copy? Kyouko’s heart skipped a beat as she glanced over at her friend. If they needed to do that, she couldn’t sit on the other side of the table. The thought of moving so close made sweat trickle down the back of her neck, though she did her best to keep it off her face.

She could do this… it was to help out her friend.

“Sure, that shouldn’t be a problem.” She settled in next to Ray, adjusting her glasses as she glanced down at the cover of the script. That close, she could smell the idol’s shampoo. Much to her surprise, it wasn’t a sharp or masculine scent – instead, she was pretty sure she smelled rather… flowery. It was light and sweet, and definitely not something she would’ve expected. Yet the more she smelled it, the more it was completely right for her.

Weird how the heart worked sometimes.

Still, her face heated up as she flipped open the script to the portion Ray had marked for them to work on. It was for a scene in the drama she was costarring in with another idol, currently being touted online as the slow burn of the year for the development between the two leads. She was playing a shy artist who harbored feelings for her energetic classmate, and the scene they were working on…

Her heart skipped a beat as she read over the script.

“Wait, they’re doing a confession scene this week?”

Ray nodded in response. “Yeah, it’s time to crank the slow burn up a few notches. It’s just going to be my part, though. Maika’s response is gonna come in the next episode.”

Kyouko could only imagine how that was going to drive the internet absolutely insane. However, just as insane was how fast her heart was going as she read over the lines Ray was supposed to say. Apparently, the shy art student finally decided to spit out how she felt to her love interest. It was the culmination of episodes of character development, all hinging on that moment.

“No wonder you’re struggling with it.”

That made her friend sigh and nod. “Yeah, I just can’t get it right. Every time I try it feels so… bleh. I really want to nail this, you know? Feels like I owe it to the fans to get it right. Plus, I really want to be true to Yuki and get her feelings across like she would do if she was actually real.”

Then she sighed. “Problem is, I have no idea how she’s feeling. So I’ve been watching a lot of dramas and reading books but it’s just not landing right. I figure if I run lines with someone else, we can figure something out.”

She made it sound like they were working on a school project they would have to present to the class – if they put their heads together, they could get a passing grade and avoid summer classes. It was charming in a weird way, and she would’ve chuckled if it wasn’t so bizarre.

Leave it to Ray to contextualize things like that.

“Well, how about you show me what you’re working on so far, and then I’ll see what you can do.” Kyouko leaned in to read. Thanks to that, she drew closer to Ray, brushing against her shoulder. She felt her face heat up but shook her head instead. “Alright, are you ready?”

Ray nodded, so she picked a line to start on. “Hey, Yu! I got your message, what’s up? Did you want to go over the guidelines for the next assignment?”

It was weird – the other character was much more energetic than she was, so the casual dialogue felt odd on her lips. Still, she stuck the landing as best as she could in order to give her friend the best launchpad she could.

Out of the corner of her eye, she watched as Ray shifted position. She seemed to fall into herself, nearly shrinking in the process. Then she bit her lip, glancing away. Unlike Kyouko, she wasn’t reading the script – this part she had memorized.

“Na-chan… I… yes. I wanted to talk to you about something. Thank you for coming.”

Kyouko scanned the lines before she spoke. “What’s up, Yu? You’re looking awfully nervous. Are you worried about the assignment or something? I don’t get why, acrylics are your favorite!”

She could practically picture the scene in her head – a high school art classroom after classes had let out for the day, the late day sun streaming through the window and highlighting the canvases of art club members. It was empty, save for just the two characters.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t being honest when I asked you to come here.” Ray’s voice grew soft as she hesitated. “Na-chan… I can’t think straight around you anymore. Every time I get close, my heart start to pound.”

Her hand went to the front of her t-shirt, and she gripped the faded black cloth tightly. “It’s scaring me, Na-chan. I can’t sleep… all I can think about is you anymore.”

It was hard to hear the idol’s words her heart was pounding so hard, but Kyouko managed a shaky nod as she read the next line. “What do you mean, Yuki?”

Then her mouth went dry as Ray turned to face her, eyes burning. Her mind went blank as she waited for the next line, hanging on it and hoping it would never come at the same time. Every second was an agony that felt like a lifetime.

“Natsuki… it’s you. It’s always been you.” Ray shut her eyes tightly. “I… I think I love you, Natsuki!”

And then she sighed, slamming her forehead on the table and breaking the illusion altogether. “Fuck, that was so lame!”

Kyouko practically hopped out of her skin as she came crashing down to earth. It was a miracle that sweat wasn’t dripping down her brow in that moment given how hot she felt. Luckily, it was cool in the room, but there was little chance to hide her pink cheeks.

She needed to get her head in the game… it was just acting. It wasn’t like Ray was actually confessing to her.

That was only emphasized as Ray let out a groan from her spot on the table. “Every time I run that line, it just feels so dumb.”

One green eye met her as she turned over. “I don’t get how Yuki feels in this scene at all. I mean, I understand that she really likes Natsuki and wants to tell her how she feels, but I just can’t get in her head like I can with all the other scenes.”

“It sounded good to me, though. Maybe it’s ok if you can’t feel it for yourself as long as you play it like you just did. People say you have good chemistry with Sato-san…”

Even as she said it, Kyouko knew it wasn’t going to work. Ray was going to drive herself insane trying to get it right. The best thing she could do was help her nail down what she was trying to get out.

It might kill her, but what were friends for?

“I don’t get the whole chemistry thing either. We’re just acting.” Ray sighed again, sitting up and rubbing her sore forehead. “I don’t know… have you ever had a crush on someone and wanted to confess to them, KK?”

She was so sincere about the question that Kyouko would’ve laughed if it hadn’t felt so ridiculous. Truly, the gods were enjoying her suffering in that moment – they probably had snacks and were watching with bated breath. Had she done something terrible in a previous life to deserve this? That was the only way she could’ve explained it.

This was where having a pointless crush on her good friend hurt the most. It was one of the many moments that laid bare her feelings were one sided and rather pointless. After all, Ray didn’t even consider that it could be true.

They were just friends to her.

So it was hard to keep a smile on her face as she nodded. “Yeah, actually, I did.”

That made the idol straighten up. “Really? How’d it work out? Did you confess to them?”

All she could do was shake her head and fight to keep the smile straining on her face. “There was nothing to work out because I didn’t tell them about it. It was clear they didn’t share my feelings, and I didn’t want to make things awkward between us.”

She didn’t have that many friends… it would hurt too much to lose one of her best ones by acting on her feelings.

“Man, that sucks. I’m sorry to hear that, KK.” Ray sighed. “But, like, what does that feel like? Yuki makes it sound like it hurts or something.”

Hurt was putting it mildly – it felt like her heart was getting torn apart whenever she thought about losing Ray to a failed confession. As much as it hurt to hide her feelings, it was a pain she was used to by then. And in the end, maybe it was better to go with the devil she knew instead of the one she couldn’t even dream about.

Yet… her heart still ached as she looked over at her friend.

“It does hurt… and maybe it’s a hurt that Yuki can’t stand. She’s probably scared, but I bet she’s even more afraid of letting Natsuki go without saying anything.”

It was weird how a fictional character was far stronger than she was, even though they were in the same position. In that moment, she envied words on a page played by one of her best friends. There had to be some grand irony there – the gods had put her in that position to watch her suffer.

“Well, can I see you do the confession scene?” Ray nudged the script over to her. “Maybe if I see you do it, I can get a sense of how to play it.”

Kyouko felt a pain in her heart as she accepted the script. Running away sounded like a great idea then. The problem was that if she took off, Ray would chase her. Then there would be awkward questions she didn’t want to answer, and then it would just make things worse.

The only way around it was through it.

So she nodded and adjusted her glasses. “Alright. I’ll give it a shot. I’m going to start from here.”

Then she cleared her throat to dislodge the lump.

I’m sorry, I wasn’t being honest when I asked you to come here. Na-chan… I can’t think straight around you anymore. Every time I get close, my heart start to pound.”

Just like her heart was pounding now. She could feel it struggling against her ribs, only held there by her skin and clothes. It was ringing in her ears, bust she could still hear her words as clearly as a bell.

“It’s scaring me, Na-chan. I can’t sleep… all I can think about is you anymore.”

The sleepless nights were the worst. How many nights had she rolled around in her bed, seeking rest but only finding racing thoughts instead? Even worse were the dreams she had about the other girl… but she loved and hated them at the same time. It was even worth it when she went to class tired in the morning, with nothing to show for it but deep circles and a yawn.

“What do you mean, Yuki?”

“Natsuki… it’s you. It’s always been you.” Kyouko’s mind went blank as she stared over at her friend, still staring down at the script. Her mouth kept moving as her heart pounded in her ears, as if she was acting on instinct. “I… I think I love you, Ray.”

And then her body breeched the gap without her wanting it to do so. She was suddenly way too close to the idol, but all she could focus on was her face – her dark skin and bright eyes, the scar that stretched across her face, and her lips. They were so close… and getting closer. A few more centimeters, and they’d be close enough to touch.

What would her lips feel like?

“W-whoa, wait, time!”

Ray jumped back, eyes wide. “KK, what the hell are you doing? There’s no kiss scene in this episode!”

Kyouko’s mind raced as she crashed back down to reality. Her face burned red hot as she played her words over. Right then, she wanted to crawl into a hole and die – or maybe just disappear off the face of the earth altogether.

How the hell was she going to get out of this one?

Lucky for her, the door swung open. Granny was on the other side, holding a tray of snacks and wearing a smile. That smile fell, however, as she surveyed the scene in front of her. Kyouko had no idea what she was seeing in that moment – probably utter chaos.

“Is everything alright, girls?”

Ray nodded shakily as she got up to accept the snacks. “Yeah, we just got a little too into the scene is all… thanks, granny Momo.”

“You’re welcome, dear. I’ll let you get back to it.”

And then she was gone, leaving them behind as she closed the door and cut off Kyouko’s escape. Now she was once again alone in the room with Ray, with nothing to show for it but a plate of snacks and the worst mistake of her life.

She had really stepped in it this time.

For a few moments, they ate in silence. Or rather, Ray ate. Her stomach was churning like a storm-tossed sea, and even the thought of food made her want to throw up. Instead, she clutched at a cup of tea like it was her lifeline, praying she could somehow erase the last handful of minutes from existence.

Had she really just tried to kiss her?

“So uh… I guess you were just reading ahead or something. No doubt that’s probably going to happen in the next episode, I doubt they’d let the fans get their hopes up.”

Ray’s tone was light. Kyouko dared to glance over. Much to her horror, the idol wasn’t looking at her. She couldn’t meet her eye and was instead staring at the cup of tea in her hands. For someone so big, she looked small.

It was an out, though.

“I guess I was reading into it too much. My apologies.” She sipped at her tea, feeling it slosh around in her stomach. “Are you… if they go that way, is that going to bother you?”

She got a shoulder shrug in response. “Not like I’ve ever kissed somebody before. Would that count as my first kiss, or would it be a work thing instead? I like my costar and all, but like… not like that, you know?”

Yeah, she knew. Kyouko could only keep drinking her tea in order to keep her tongue in line. A thousand thoughts were running through her mind in that moment, all of them screaming to get out first. But none of them could – she fought them off into the silence.

Ray suddenly stood, grabbing for her backpack. “Thanks for the help, KK. I think I know what I’m working with now. I’ll, uh, I’ll text you when I get home.”

Then she was gone without another word. Kyouko didn’t get up to see her to the door – instead, she listened as the girl’s footsteps thundered down the stairs and headed out the door. Briefly, she saw her riding down the street on her bike, but then she vanished from view as she turned the corner.

As soon as she was out of sight, her head hit the table.

“Why did I do that?!”

She groaned, shutting her eyes tightly. There was no forgetting how Ray had looked in the moment, or how close they had been to… she couldn’t even put words to it. Worst of all, she had said the words she had been trying to hide for years.

In the worst way, she had ruined everything. And now she had gone and made things awkward. Who knew if they would ever be able to speak to each other again without that hanging over their heads?

So much for helping… Kyouko was sure now she had just made everything worse.