#Kurt's in only three scenes and I wrote a novel

[ineffable-opinions]

Unknown - Review

An adaptation that worked better for me than the source work, to an extent.

Priest is a highly regarded danmei author. When I discovered the author through fans, I really wanted to partake in all that awesomeness too. But time and time again, Priest’s writing style failed to resonate with me. I could never immerse myself in any of her works, truly get into them, be moved by characters and their action. Nothing Priest ever wrote seem to impact me. I always felt like I was at bus stop waiting for a bus that would take me to a destination that everyone else seemed to be able to reach and praise so highly about. I would board every bus that said it would take me to my destination but somehow, I couldn’t reach there.

When live-action adaptations came out, I chased them, in multiple languages (I tried Mandarin, Tamil, Hindi, Malayalam in that order; Indian language dubs can be found on MX player). But then even Malayalam dubbed version of Word of Honor was a chore and I gave up.

When I heard of Unknown based on 大哥 (da ge; Big Brother) (a work I found reprehensible at certain points due to pretty normalized racial and heterosexist psychological depictions) I had no interest in checking it out. Things couldn’t be so simple. I heard Huang HongXuan (Kurt) was going be in it. Now, I must watch it for he had rizz in spades in VIP Only and I wanted more of that. (Spoiler alert – I think the Unknown by focusing on Wei Qian missed out on cashing that sweet charisma except for glimpses of it in the last few episodes.)

That’s how I ended up watching Unknown in the first place. It is safe to say I am glad I did. I never thought Da Ge will become something like this. I am impressed by the meticulous cultivation that source material underwent. That little carp really crossed the gate to become a dragon.

Da Ge is a popular and critically-acclaimed work. IMHO, it was for most parts a classist, 金手指 (golden finger) plot with half-baked versions of then popular danmei tropes. For context (I don’t want to say comparison), 弟弟 (didi; younger brother) by 人体骨架 came out in 2011, two years before Da Ge. In BL, newer don’t necessarily mean better. 

What Unknown managed to do was tone down the golden finger bits and keep things realistic to an extent.

Wei Qian got the funds he dearly needed not from killing and snitching on gangsters but from gang-boss Le ge who was Dr. Lin’s senior. Le ge defied some gang codes and sorta wronged his own underlings to that the plot can turn in favor of Wei Qian. The whole triad bit was decent enough that I didn’t mind the snitching part much – I chose to ignore it.

Removed three female characters who were there for man-pain purposes in the novel. Instead gave Wei Lili, pavam xiao baobao, time to shine.

Did not airlift Wei Qian into the waiting arms of a benefactor with sufficient connections in Mainland who would rescind everything in grief, right when Wei Qian could take over and reign. Instead, Unknown let Wei Qian build a company with San Pang and Lao Xiong which fits right into Taiwan’s SME-heavy capitalism.

Didn’t include anything that I found reprehensible in the novel.

Gave relatively explicit intimate scene.

Toned down novel Wei Qian’s Valliettan-aura to build a warmer, more sensible relationship between the Wei siblings.

Made passing mentions of novel events, in ways that was more connected and believable.

Didn’t make villains into caricatures who loose brain cells to benefit Wei Qian. Instead fleshed out Le ge and his relationship with both his underling and his junior. Made him interesting.

Got us a character with blacked out tattoos. I have listed this one at the last but this is the best thing about Unknown for me. Here’s why…

While organized crime is a popular setting in BL, it is rare for BL characters to have visible evidences of their criminal pasts after leaving it for a civilian life. Usually, they either hide it with full-sleeves and what-nots. But here’s a character in a BL with blacked out tattoos trying to make a living through street-vending. Tattoos are customary, ceremonial and meaningful in the context of organized crime, triad in this case. While involved in the triad, tattoos signal trust and loyalty, etched into skin. But it is a burden too. It is part of the cage that leaves no way out. As Le ge’s underling emphasizes, it is not easy to get away having once involved oneself with the triad. Moreover, the tattoos evoke fear among civilians – so ex-gangsters can forget prospects of finding jobs. Even if one is to be self-employed, tattoos doesn’t signal anything good and are effective in scaring customers away. In Unknown, the blacked-out tattoos signal a dark past he has shut door to; all symbolisms that meant something in the context of triad has been wiped out by ink.

There are points where I felt Unknown was rush through the plot, some others which I felt drag. But overall, it was a good BL and a surprisingly enjoyable adaptation of a source novel I didn’t enjoy at all.

[spaceorphan18]

Finding Kurt Hummel: Love, Love, Love

Masterpost

5x01: Love, Love, Love

Hello season 5! It’s so lovely to see you.  I love this episode - it’s the Beatles, and it’s the Klaine proposal, and it kicks off my personal favorite season of the show (oops did I say that out loud?). Funny enough, Kurt’s not in this episode a whole lot - but! There’s so much Kurt in this season it’s crazy, so let’s dig in! 

This episode is so my happy place. 

Got to Get You (Back) Into My Life

I’m so glad that Ryan Murphy decided to let this season be bright and colorful - comparatively to a drabber and somewhat more serious season 4.  It’s funny - because this entire season will be haunted by the the tragedy that happened bts. But there’s also a lot of joy and happiness and downright crackiness that defines the season, too.  It’s such an interesting mix of things. 

So, anyway, despite this being a huge episode for Kurt - he’s only in a few scenes, his first one here with Blaine some ten minutes into the episode.  

When last we saw Kurt, he was getting much more comfortable with Blaine again, even if he claimed he wasn’t going to hook up with him, and he told some lesbians they weren’t a couple.  But I do believe the end of last season, even if we didn’t get much in the way of Kurt explicitly stating so, he’s entertaining the idea of getting back with Blaine.  He’s healed quite a bit in the six months they’ve been apart (Yeah - it’s supposed to be March here, lol).  And Blaine’s relentless showering of love and affection only bolsters his own feelings.  

His dad’s fine, school is fine, New York is fine, maybe, just maybe he and Blaine can be fine, too. 

We open up with this picnic.  And as a time reference, I believe this is during Kurt’s spring break - because Blaine’s mentions Kurt finally going back to school.  And you know - there’s such an ease between these two.  This conversation is light and playful and a little desperate on Blaine’s side, but Kurt knows exactly where this conversation is going, and he’s delighted by it - enough to taunt Blaine a little by holding back purposely.

Okay before I go too much further though, let’s talk about the dialogue they cut from the opening of this scene:

Kurt: This farewell picnic is the perfect send off, though. Blaine: One might even call it romantic. Kurt: One might. Blaine: So, what are we doing here? Kurt: I thought we were swearing off labels. Blaine: I love you, Kurt. I’m sorry if that freaks you out, but this part, the romance and love part, I’m good, I’m done, I want you. Kurt: It doesn’t freak me out -- not in a bad way.

Oy this show - sometimes cutting things I really like (most of the time no, but this episode, yeah).  Also - this all happens before Blaine inquires about New York guy.

Anyway, the reason I’m including it here is that I like the insinuation that Kurt and Blaine had talked about what the status of their relationship was - and puts Blaine’s actions in a little more context.  There could have been a conversation way back in I Do - where they continued to sleep together that weekend but Kurt insisted it wasn’t called anything but friends with benefits.  They could have done things over Skype - and hence had a ‘let’s not label this’ conversation.  I do think, despite Kurt claiming they wouldn’t, before this picnic, they fell into bed together again.  

And I do think that had this stayed in, Kurt would have played the moment playfully.  Because he knows exactly where this is headed.  He knows he wants Blaine just as much.  

So about that New York guy.  Ha. 

Okay - so yeah, I wish that the Adam part of the story would have been more complete - that we would have seen Kurt try to date him but ultimately realize, yeah, no, I want Blaine.  I mean - while we were all pretty sure where the story was going, it never really got a proper resolution after 4x15.  And this is almost like tying up a loose end. 

But I like what Kurt says here, and how he says it.  He liked Adam fine, but it wasn’t serious.  I mean in the middle of “dating” Adam - he slept with Blaine, c’mon.  But Kurt is so dismissive of the whole thing.  It wasn’t about whether or not he liked Adam. It was about if he could forgive Blaine for cheating on him.  And that’s one of the things I find so fascinating about this story - it’s always about the conflict within themselves and between each other. Third parties are always arbitrary and inconsequential.  And merely placeholders (or plot devices) while one of them deals with their shit.  

(As an aside - the comment about people like them together is completely a fourth wall break.  The writers knew there were non-Klaine fans out there, and this is them saying, yeah, we hear you, don’t really care though.)  

The real point here is that last time they tried long distance, Blaine cheated on him.  But Blaine’s grown and healed a lot, too, since the beginning.  Even amidst the playfulness, Kurt is slightly hesitant.  He knows he loves Blaine.  He knows they’re going to be together.  But he also doesn’t want to ever be hurt like that again.  

But let’s talk about Kurt’s playfulness in the scene.  When was the last time we saw Kurt this open with Blaine? This relaxed and having fun? He knows exactly what Blaine wants, and he continues to deflect at every turn - sign a no-cheating contract, do relationships really work?, weren’t Bethany and Jason supposed to be forever?  He’s totally stringing Blaine along.  

Labels or no. They’re already back together.  It’s just a matter of saying it out loud. 

I love that when Kurt finally stops screwing around and says they’re going try a relationship again - he’s so damn giddy and excited about it.  They get to be Kurt and Blaine again.  And Kurt can follow his heart openly again.  Oh, kiddo. 

Also, cut from the script - another moment where Blaine leans in and kisses him.  **shakes-fist**

So - I want to take a sec and talk about the costuming.  Glee’s costume department has always been one of the most competent things on the show.  And Klaine has always had a way of matching.  But I think they begin to out do themselves this season.  Kurt and Blaine’s outfits here not only look fantastic on them - but they are complimentary colors to each other - and it makes this already gorgeous scene look brilliant.  And -- these are almost toned down versions of the colors they’ll be wearing for the proposal.  It love it.  Brilliant work costume guys.  ;) 

Anyway, Blaine says he has something planned and Kurt shuts that down pretty quickly.  And I think it’s interesting - not just because Kurt has his own serenade ready and waiting, but because it’s not about Blaine serenading Kurt anymore.  It’s about them being in an equal relationship, and doing things for each other.  

But also - I spoke of this pattern back during It’s Time - it does seem right that this is the last time they sing in the courtyard, because look at the pattern: 

S2 Somewhere Only We Know - Kurt is coming back to McKinley, and leaving Blaine at Dalton. 

S3 It’s Not Unusual - Blaine is coming to be with Kurt at McKinley

S4 It’s Time - Kurt is leaving McKinley to go to New York

S5 Got to Get You Into My Life - Blaine will be leaving McKinley to be with Kurt in New York. 

There’s a lot of coming and going, but ultimately, they’ll both be leaving McKinley together, as a couple, for New York, which is where they’re supposed to be - so on another level beyond these two are adorable singing to each other - it’s incredibly fitting that they’re singing this together.  

Trying to still this song was a miserable experience, so I’m going with a BTS shot instead - thank you, greatly, to those of you who sent me this pic <3  This is a gorgeous shot of Chris/Kurt, and here we can see the whole outfit in all its glory.  Also, anyone else notice the huge number of butt shots during this performance? I wonder if that was intentional, huh. 

Kurt says that he has this planned - which means he had already decided to get back together with Blaine before this conversation took place.  But it makes me wonder, did he decided to do this on his own? Or had he found out Blaine’s plans and took control of it for himself? Idk - interesting....  

So - you guys know that this song is about doing drugs, right? This is a love song to pot - or whatever they were on at the time, lol.  

But I mean, love is a drug, too.  

I feel like this song is pretty self-explanatory, and incredibly fitting for a couple of codependent little lovestuck goobers. 

Ooh, then I suddenly see you Ooh, did I tell you I need you Every single day of my life You didn't run, you didn't lie You knew I wanted just to hold you And had you gone you knew in time we'd meet again For I had told you Ooh, you were meant to be near me Ooh, and I want you hear me Say we'll be together every day Got to get you into my life

I love this performance.  While not my favorite Beatles song, it’s just such a fun number.  They’re playful and incredibly flirty, and very themselves, and that ending kiss.  Damn.  It’s not just that it’s hot - cause, yeah.  But because it’s a declaration of their love in a very, very public space.  Remember when Blaine once just tapped Kurt on the shoulder because they were on the stairs outside? 

Season 5 Glee, and season 5 Klaine, do not give a fuck.  

I’m rounding this out with the Sue’s first line in the next scene

Sue: America, your prayers have been answered. 

Getting Better

So, I want to take a second to talk about the one big Kurt scene they cut from the script.  Originally, and it was filmed because we have bts stills, there was a scene involving Kurt and the girls sleeping over at the school (Why the school, god who knows.)  

Deleted Kurt/Ladies Scene from Love Love Love**

(**Note - this isn’t the full cut scene, I’ll explain in a minute.) 

The reason I bring it up, since I’m normally a huge advocate of ignoring what’s in the script, is because it has some interesting tidbits in it.  

First of all - it’s a scene with all the girls and Kurt.  Even in the New York arc - WE NEVER GET THIS! This is kind of like Kurt’s bachelor(ette?) party and it is one aspect of the wedding stuff we don’t get at all - even with Brittana.  I realize that stuff is kind of TV cliche but dammit - they’re also usually really fun, too.  So I’m sad to lose this scene for that. 

It also shows that Kurt’s very in the know about Blaine’s proposal plans (I mean, god, Blaine is the least subtle goober on the planet) and that Kurt’s initial reaction is, god yeah sign me up for this. 

Also - this bit of dialogue: 

Kurt: [...] I’ve dreamt about marrying Prince Charming ever since I saw my first Disney movie -- I just never thought it would be possible. But the world’s changed and more than anything...I want Blaine and me to be apart of that change. 

Aw, Kurt, you little goober.  That would have been so sweet to hear you actually say.  **shakes-fist again**

They also cut a song - Getting Better that Kurt and the girls would have sang. (This, btw, was already omitted by the time the script I have was produced.)  On the surface - this sounded like a good idea, especially when Kurt singing would be great over a second Artie/Kitty duet.  

Here are some of the lyrics: 

I've got to admit it's getting better (Better) A little better all the time (It can't get more worse) I have to admit it's getting better (Better) It's getting better since you've been mine

It’s a nice little sentiment for Kurt to sing, right? 

Well - here’s later on: 

I used to be cruel to my woman I beat her and kept her apart from the things that she loved Man I was mean but I'm changing my scene And I'm doing the best that I can (Ooh)

**scrunches nose** Yeah, maybe it was best they cut this. 

Meanwhile, the one reason I’m glad this scene was cut? At the very end (apparently not in that link I gave you) - Santana gives this whole speech painting marriage as the worst thing two people can do, and it makes Kurt doubt the idea of getting married.  Because, according to the script, he never really thought about the future.  And I really call BS on this.  Because we have seen that Kurt is an incredible planner, has already thought about he and Blaine getting old, and part of the whole break up stuff was Kurt living in the future instead of living in the past.  So it just doesn’t add up. 

Plus - I think leaving Kurt’s insecurities with just the Burt/Kurt scene works a whole lot better than what this scene does.  

Fatherly Advice

You know - you can’t go wrong with a Kurt/Burt scene.  And this is one of my favorites. 

Kurt’s, understandably, nervous about this whole proposal business.  It’s not the proposal itself, it’s not because he doesn’t love Blaine - and I love, LOVE that he explicitly states here what Blaine means to him, that he feels safe and connected and loved with Blaine -- it’s because they are young, and because they just got back together, and no I don’t think Kurt is fully healed from that break up yet.  (I don’t think he will be until the second one - when he screws up the relationship** and learns that relationships don’t have to to be perfect.) 

**I’m saying this as a blanket statement - obviously the situation is far more complicated, but I’ll save that discussion when I get to season 6. 

Kurt’s perfect relationship broke once, and there is a part of him that doesn’t entirely trust that it can work again.  It’s not so much Blaine as it is Kurt’s not really ready to be put in this position yet.  (And - interestingly, Blaine’s pushing Kurt is part of the reason the season 6 break up happens -- though most of it’s really about Kurt being dumb, but anyway....) 

It’s funny that Burt tells Blaine that he should marry a person and not an idea, which is what Blaine’s doing a little bit.  But also that Kurt’s scared of the idea more than the person, and that’s a problem, too.  

Anyway, I love Burt’s speech during this scene.  We learn more about Kurt’s mom - and how Burt knew almost immediately that she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life.  I’d go out on a limb and say Hummels know how to commit.  ;)  Burt talks about being young, and the fantasies about what being together would be like (which involved dancing in their underwear, sex, and pasta, lol), but he also gets real and says it’s also about fighting over bills and spoiled milk.  But when you get down to it, you have a short time on this planet - and you hold the people you love dearly closely to you.  

And, interestingly, Kurt’s somewhat living in the future again.  What if I get hurt badly again? What if we ruin this good thing I’ve just let back into my life? What if, what if, what if?  Kurt wants more time -- but Burt says - hey, you get to make your own choices now, so make one.  Oh Burt, you’re so wise. 

But also, what Burt says here is going to linger over the rest of the Kurt and Klaine story.  We’re going to see Klaine have good times and rocky times.  Burt’s warning about it being a hard thing is something Kurt’s going to not be able to deal with come season 6.  But also Burt’s words are why it makes complete sense to me that Kurt will later get married on a whim when he and Blaine get back together a second time. 

It’s funny that these two have a habit of - they’ll break up, and then when they get back together commit even more to each other.  (Though, no, I don’t believe they’ll break up after they get married.)  Burt’s words last us through the end of the series - only Burt speaks of experience, and Kurt still has to learn that.  

And Kurt takes the first step as he heads towards Dalton to make his decision. 

All You Need is Love

Kurt’s look of wonder as he heads up to Dalton.  I don’t know what Kurt was thinking he was getting - but I don’t think he realized that his proposal would be ripped straight out of one of those Disney movies -- all beauty and music and extravagance and love and Blaine being that incredible Disney Prince that he had always dreamed of.  And, oh hey, there are all his friends, and the people he knows and yes, of course Kurt knows the significance of coming back to this place - the place where their story began. 

Kurt - as he wanders through Dalton, amazed and amused by the theatrical display going on around him.  He was unsure until he saw Blaine - but once he saw Blaine, and let Blaine take him on this magical, romantic tour, Kurt was reminded of one aspect that really is a part of their love story.  The fairy tale romance.  And it still is, even as many times as this show is going to show us a more realistic side.  Here is the grand musical-esque gesture that, let’s be honest, Kurt has loved all his life.  It probably is one of those out of reality moments - it’s just that crazy. 

It’s funny - because the song is All You Need is Love.  And anyone who has been in a long term relationship will tell you that the song is idealistic at best.  Love isn’t all that you need - as Burt explained to us somewhat in the speech coming over.  But it is a foundation for something great to be built.  And their romance is that something great. 

Kurt is so overwhelmed, but in a very, very good way.  I mean - there’s freakin’ rose petals coming from the ceiling.  Damn, Blaine.  

And man - does this scene push all the right nostalgia buttons as Kurt comes down that staircase like the day they met.  Kurt gets that - and I think the reality that this is really happening - this fantasy that he really dreamed over - that this sweet, wonderful man will ask him for forever. 

Blaine:  We met right here. I took this man's hand and we ran down that hallway. And for those that know me, I'm not in the habit of taking people's hands I've never met before but I think that my soul knew something that my mind and body didn't know yet. It knew that our hands were meant to hold each others, fearlessly and forever, which is why it's never really felt like I've been getting to know you, it's always felt like I was remembering you from something. As if every lifetime you and I have lived, we've chosen to come back and find each other and fall in love all over again, over and over for all eternity. And I just feel so lucky that I found you so soon in this lifetime because all I want to do, all I've ever wanted to do is spend my life loving you. So Kurt Hummel, my amazing friend, my one true love, will you marry me?

Kurt: Yeah. Yes.

This speech is one of the most beautiful things the show ever wrote.  And watching Kurt’s face during all of this? He’s so moved.  He loves this man, so, so much.  He doesn’t say a word during this, he doesn’t have to.  His face says it all as all the emotions come rushing forward.  

I love that, despite the public setting, despite everyone being around them, it’s a very intimate and personal moment.  (Um, maybe because the camera’s so close, lol.)  Kidding aside - this moment, where Blaine asks Kurt to marry him is not about the spectacle (though these goobers do get off on the spectacle), it’s about declaring their love for another - it’s about committing full-heartedly.  

And I kind of love that Kurt’s so emotional that it takes him a second to respond - a breathy ‘yeah’ cause that’s all he can manage.  Blaine’s once again taken his breath away. 

Kurt went in not knowing what to expect, but by the end - it’s yes -- yes this is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.  His heart takes over for his brain for once, and he’s all in, wherever that might take them.   

(And I mean - Kudos to both Chris and Darren on their acting here - they sell this couple so damn well, I can’t even.  Just, yeah.) 

Alright, so I’m probably cheating using another BTS shot - but I love the full body shot of the kiss.  I mean look at these goobers putting the puzzle back together with a kiss.  And those suits are just so gorgeous - I cannot compliment the costume department enough. 

Now - for opinion time -- for me, I see this as more than a proposal - I see this more as their spiritual marriage.  It’s designed to look like a wedding in its scope, with Kurt walking down an aisle and his dad taking him up there and the bridesmaids waiting at his side and the groom ready for him.  (God - does that mean Will is the priest?) But for me - this is their wedding, and everything after this (because dreams come true, not free) is learning to navigate that kind of committed relationship.  But season 6!! Yeah - but season 6.  They’re going to fuck up again - because of all the reasons Burt says here - they’re young, and dumb, and have never done this before.  

But yeah, their wedding doesn’t really compare to it (even if the writing of that episode was pitch perfect, idk if they could have topped this).  It’s more a technical, yes they’re legally married now.  But here - here starts that second half of the journey, the -- what comes after happily ever after -- stuff that I find so fun and interesting.  Most stories stop at happily ever after.  I’m grateful that we get to see that it’s not all perfect beyond.  

I mean - we are still in the middle of this story, not at the end ;) 

But yeah - I love this moment so, so much.  And I love that Kurt gets to have this happy moment, big and romantic and ending with a kiss and a promise of forever with the man he loves.  :) 

I’m including the whole thing here - because it’s such a thing of beauty.  The boys look gorgeous in their suits, Dalton is beautifully lit, Blaine’s speech is really just pitch perfect.  Everything about this scene is amazing and wonderful and romantic and I encourage you to watch it again.  It may be my favorite moment in the entire series.  

Oh season 5 - how I do adore you.  :) 

[unicyclehippo]

Hi, ollie. I just wanted to ask a question. I've always admired your writing, your characterization, your voice, and everything. What advice (? Tip? Where to start?) would you give for someone who has trouble writing much less give voice to the characters they want to write (like me)? I'm desperate, I want to write. I just can't seem to start.

gday mate thanks for the sweet message

as for writing, it’s hard bc obviously i don’t know specifically what you’re struggling with but i’ll do my best (disclaimer, im not a professional, etc etc)

one: on whatever paper/document you are using, write some swear words. the worst ones you know, or your favourites. as many times as it takes for you to find it silly & a little fun. check it out! now the page isn’t frighteningly empty anymore & in fact seems to share your annoyance for having been empty

two: plot the scene you want to write. note down what kind of mood it is you want to create & to your collection of swears, add some descriptors. think about the senses - what you see, hear, smell, touch, taste, the temperature, maybe even the altitude. say you want to write about a forest—some descriptors might be old tall trees, smell of crushed leaves, peace. or maybe it’s not that kind of forest or not a peaceful scene at all—dying trees, brittle bark, smell of ash, frightened. in as many descriptors as you like, tell yourself what the environment & mood of the scene is. this doesn’t have to be impressive or life changing stuff, you are building the context & shape of the scene—like building a theatre stage & wheeling in the backdrop & figuring out the brightness of the lights.

next, briefly write what the purpose of the scene is. this could be something like: character A talks to character B about (thing). A wants thing but B won’t give it to them.

once you have that written down, you can start to expand on it. why does A want it? why does A need that thing? why does B refuse to hand it over? block it out—in this scenario, let’s say that the thing is a letter. (immediately i deleted the whole scene i wrote. agonising.)

character A enters the forest. character B is waiting for them. it is a secret meeting - they are both wary. small talk. A asks for the letter. B refuses - counteroffer, more money. A knows the letter is important but doesn’t have more money. A tells them they can get B more money but doesnt have it now. B refuses to give the letter until they are paid. A is desperate - attacks B. they fight. A wins. B is (injured/dead). & this is now a whole new problem for A.

when you have the descriptors & scaffolding for a scene, you will know: the Space it is set in, the Mood you want to create, and the Direction the scene is moving in.

after this, it’s a matter of writing the scene itself & i regret to inform you that there are as many ways of doing this as there are writers in the world. this is why people talk about “finding your voice” because the way you tell the story speaks to what you find to be important: what you find necessary to the scene; whose point of view you want to write from; how granular you get with descriptions of what they’re wearing—very important in, say, a romance or a courtly intrigue.

hopefully, having a scaffold for the scene & knowing where it starts & ends will help. i know it does for me.

three: the most important thing to remember about character imo is that they need to Want something. they’re the drive of the story, whether it’s a novel or a drabble. in this plotted scene, A wants the letter desperately & B wants money but there’s a second level to it as well. A wants the letter because of what it might reveal to them/about them & B wants to feel powerful, using a desperate person for their own ends. when you block out your scene, take a minute to think about what your characters want. Kurt Vonnegut wrote “Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.” think about that. think about how A is so worried about this letter that they haven’t paused to eat or drink. hunger gnawing at their belly. tongue stuck to the roof of their dry mouth, lips cracked.

as always, i suggest reading a story you love and taking the time to analyse scenes to uncover how the author is doing precisely this - how is mood & space being created, how do i know who is speaking & how they say it without character tags (a tag is the she said, she exclaimed, name said, name yelled), how does the scene move to create/release tension

i use prompts as a way of writing short scenes for character. there’s heaps of sites out there that will spit out random prompts for you if you want to practise doing something similar.

hope this helps, hope this is the kind of advice you were looking for. have an awesome day ☀️

[tuiyla]

Pride Month 🏳‍🌈 feature: Santana Lopez

[This post was originally part of a Pride Month series I did earlier this year on the r/glee subreddit where I wrote about Glee’s queer characters and its representation. Thought I’d share this one in particular here.]

What could I possibly say about Santana Lopez and what she meant for queer representation that hasn't already been said time and time again? Perhaps nothing new but I never pretended even to myself that I could offer anything novel; no, my not-so-secret goal with these Pride posts has been to reiterate the importance of representation. Let's do that then, shall we? Let's revisit why Santana's queer story mattered and what it continues to mean. I know these posts have been getting progressively longer and that is with good reason but this time around I really had to hold back, lest I'll never shut up and we'll never get to the one last post. As a result, this one is a bit more structured and I decided to focus on three (plus one) main (and intersecting) sections. It's still long, I'm aware, but I figured it's up to you whether you want to read it. That's cool if not lol, maybe just the very last section?

The sin isn't in the thing, it's in the scandal

Welp I just rewatched the Abuela coming out scene to write this and now I'm crying so I hope you appreciate all I do for y'all. But I'm getting ahead of myself, let's not talk about coming out just yet. Let's focus on the internal struggle that Santana faces because of the fear the world has installed in her. Let's talk about shame, pride, and reason number 56 why representation matters: destigmatization.

Much of Santana's story is about perception. About wanting to be seen in general but also about who she actually is not matching up with how she presents herself and how she's perceived by the world. How very queer coded of her, I'd say if she wasn't canonically queer. So there's this dissonance with the character where she's fine with making out with Brittany in front of guys since that provides a cover, an excuse, something that fits very well into a world where she's barely if ever seen as more than a slutty cheerleader making out with her friend just to entertain guys. It's fine because it's not gay this way, see. Even if they do make out and do much more when there's no one else there. But it's cool, it's not gay and she's not gay if she's not seen as queer.

And it's not like it's as easy as that until Brittany suddenly starts talking about feelings because even before "Sexy" we see the cracks starting to form. Season 1 Santana is textbook compulsory heterosexuality, only caring about people like Puck and Finn for status and when her social standing is threatened. It's actually so glaringly obvious that I'm amazed it wasn't planned at all to be comphet. Glee, you lucky bastards. In season 2, we see Santana get desperate as she starts to consciously acknowledge just how gay being in love with your best friend is. I truly believe Santana repressed that so deep that even she didn't realize at first, that for quite some time she genuinely believed she was straight. The reason for all that, for the elaborate ways in which she gets men (only to then insult their bodies since she's so mad she can't find it in herself to be attracted to them), the reason for much of her anger throughout is because Santana internalizes the homophobic world she lives in.

I highly doubt, based on Santana's fear and Alma's eventual reaction that casual homophobia wasn't an everyday occurrence. But even ignoring that implication, we don't have to look beyond the halls of McKinley to see why Santana would rather live a lie than admit and accept who she is. Kurt's horrible treatment in school did little to reassure her that gay is okay and even if his situation is different, it pushed Santana deeper into the closet. And yes, she's made homophobic "jokes" and comments as well, welcome to internalization land. And just like with Karofsky, this internalized shame and hatred that the world has tossed at her is spewed right back out. Santana's viciousness isn't as targeted or as specifically homophobic; instead, she's a bully to a few and needlessly cruel to many more. The worse her inner turmoil becomes the harder she lashes out. And this is where I note that this isn't by any means excusable or indeed excused just because she's hurting. Exploring where all that hurt and rage comes from doesn't mean it's all okay but it does make her a compelling character whose queerness is integral to her journey.

It's when that queer identity is embraced, when she lets go of the shame and anger that she begins to grow. It's not easy and her progress isn't linear, especially because the final step towards not just doing the gay stuff but accepting the labels and perception is forced upon her. Santana isn't ready when she holds her head high and walks down the halls of McKinley after everyone finds out she's a lesbian, and she's certainly not ready when she tells her Abuela about her struggle. In the scene that's etched into the hearts of millions, it seems as if Santana's getting rid of such a heavy burden. She's been silently raging inside (and not so silently outside) for so long because she didn't want the world to judge her, but now it's all out so she might as well accept herself and let go of that anger. Except that Alma reinforces all those harmful ideas of "sin" and "scandal", the idea that the real shame is in how she's perceived, how she's talked about.

Bigger than the world was ever gonna give me permission to be

The truly powerful part of Santana's story isn't just this portrayal of how homophobia harms queer people and everyone else. Her struggle was important to show as it showed the harm stigmatizing queer identities can cause but it's equally if not more important that, after her worst fears come true, Santana stands back up. She uses her Abuela's rejection and tries to unlearn the misconceptions she grew up with. She tries to leave her anger behind, even if it flares back up every now and again, and she tries to use what Alma has taught her, with her own spin. To be a strong, lesbian Latina woman who's bigger than the world was ever gonna give her permission to be, to be proud instead of ashamed and unapologetic instead of purely spiteful.

And she has done just that. On a meta-level, Santana's rise from background to the forefront is unparalleled. And on a narrative level, here we have a girl who struggled for so long with acceptance and used it as a weapon against others for hope of feeling better. And sure, Santana never loses that witty and self-described bitchy edge, and she falls back into old habits. But she takes the leap forward and learns to trust, learns to let her guard down, learns to be unabashed about her sexuality and her love. It's so, so important that she does that an Afro-Latina lesbian.

Glee was never great at handling racial identities and dynamics and this was no different with Santana. Her blackness is never explicitly acknowledged and her Latina heritage is either played as a joke or used to further sexualize her, so in general it's just Not Great. But Santana is still undeniably an Afro-Latina lesbian who has an astronomical rise to the foreground, who refuses to be silenced and shines so much brighter than the world was ever gonna give her permission to do. She takes up space, she feels her emotions so fully, she goes on this journey of embracing and being proud of her sexuality. She does all that while being who she is, while showing millions of people that she's more than her demographics, more than what some perhaps would want to perceive her as. Santana isn't the Afro-Latina, or the lesbian character - though she is both of those things because tokenism but she's also so much more. She's fully fleshed out with the intersection of her identities being a crucial part of her story and her legacy.

Santana didn't have a choice in people talking about her identity, her sexuality, her love for her girlfriend being discussed publicly and treated as a scandal. But she had a choice in standing back up from this blow and loving even more fiercely. In trying (and often stumbling) to express her many many feelings in more positive and productive ways, in showing that she does care and wants to be seen for it. Takes her a while, sure, and she's sure as hell not perfect at it but Santana manages to find strength in what she's been hiding for so long. Strenght in what she was taught to hide because of the stigma. She goes from whispering in hallways about her feelings towards Brittany to casually dropping the word lesbian in conversations, stripping it and therefore herself of the "shame" and "sin". And she goes from those whispers and tears to a loud and proud, public declaration of "I do" in front of friends, family, and an assortment of McKinley students and faculty.

There are people out there that it’s not a joke to, it’s their real lives

Santana Lopez would most certainly not exist without Naya Rivera. Sure, we still would have had a Cheerleader No. 2 character who had the same name and got some bitchy one-liners but it never would have gone beyond that, not to the level Naya's version did. She became the fifth most featured voice, a powerhouse performer, a fan-favourite with a presence that could not be denied. And make no mistake, even if an equally talented actress booked the role of Santana instead and similarly elevated the character from background to something more, that groundbreaking aspect would still be missing. Santana's queer storyline wouldn't have happened without Naya, and not just because it was her chemistry and background acting with Heather that kickstarted it all. It was a happy combination of many things, including fans making their voices heard and creators listening that gave us Santana the lesbian and eventually Brittana the married couple, and that's not to be ignored. But even among those factors, there was Naya Rivera, pushing for it to happen, listening to people who desperately wanted to be heard and infusing her character with such humanity and vulnerability, such depth that was just waiting to burst out.

We can't be grateful enough for the character of Santana and what Naya brought to life through playing her. I always try to shout out the actors with these posts for various reasons but, much like with Santana's impact, I cannot stress it enough how much Naya contributed to this story. It's my hope that this legacy will always be remembered and honestly, I think we can count on that. Santana mattered so, so much. Just by existing and taking up space in a world that'd really rather she didn't, yes, but also by being so messy. By struggling with how to deal and lashing out, by trying to get better and stumbling along the way. By loving so fiercely and unapologetically, by being so flawed and fiercely talented and fundamentally entertaining in all aspects. Thank you, Naya, for everything.

More than the sum of its parts

I'd like to leave you with these parting thoughts: I sometimes hear people observe (criticize? point out? who knows) that fans only like Santana because she's a lesbian. To be clear, my firm stance is that there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. I've dedicated the whole month to writing posts about the importance of representation so obviously, I'm of the mind that if people can see themselves on TV in any way and feel good about that, then that's amazing and they shouldn't be told otherwise. But even beyond that, I don't think this observation truly gets how just how integral being a lesbian is to Santana's character.

It's not all there is to her, rightly so, but it is the very reason why she got a bigger part to play in the first place. And if we just look at the show and not the production behind it, we see how inalienable her lesbian identity is. It's not all Santana is but it's what drives her inner conflict, the rage she projects onto others, the thing that first sets her back out of fear but eventually lets her grow. Santana is a lesbian and Glee made it so you can't just divorce that from the character. Part of liking her is liking her for being a lesbian, even if your favourite parts are her hilarious lines or her stellar performances.

She did mean so, so much for various aspects of representation that it's hard to overstate (though I have tried), and that in itself is a perfectly valid reason to be drawn to her. But it's not like you can separate that queer identity from the character itself. So that's why I, personally, love her. Yes, because she is a lesbian who had an impact on culture as well as real life, and also because being a lesbian informed so much of who she was as a character and became an inalienable part of her legacy.

[wazafam]

The American black comedy crime thriller A Simple Favor was released in 2018, and its cast members in it are extremely recognizable. The film, directed by Paul Feig from a screenplay written by Jessica Sharzer, is a suspenseful story based on the 2017 novel of the same name, written by Darcey Bell. The movie stars Blake Lively and Anna Kendrick in the main roles, among other notable actors in supporting roles. The plot centers on a small-town video blogger who attempts to solve the mystery behind her friend's disappearance.

A Simple Favor was released by Lionsgate, and the movie garnered critical praise upon its theatrical release. Most critics praised the chemistry of the ensemble cast, and also wrote enthusiastically about the movie's shocking plot twists and turns. The film ended up making $5.9 million on its first day alone, and grossed a total of $97 million worldwide, on a budget of only $20 million.

Related: The Equalizer 2021 Cast & Character Guide

Indeed, the movie has an impressive cast led by its main stars, Blake Lively and Anna Kendrick. Henry Golding, Andrew Rannells, and Linda Cardellini are some of the supporting cast members, as well as Jean Smart, Rupert friend, Eric Johnson, and Dustin Milligan, among other actors.

Blake Lively takes on the role of Emily Nelson, Hope McLanden, and Faith McLanden in A Simple Favor, and her character's life is the most interesting part of the film. Viewers know Lively from teen movies The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, Accepted, Simon Says, and other early-aughts flicks. Later, she appeared in movies ranging from New York, I Love You to The Town to superhero flick Green Lantern, which she starred in alongside her future husband Ryan Reynolds. In more recent years, Lively has appeared in The Age of Adaline, The Shallows, Café Society, and All I See Is You.

Following her success with A Simple Favor, Lively starred in the movie The Rhythm Section in 2020 alongside actors Jude Law and Sterling K. Brown. The movie follows a grieving woman who goes on a destructive path for revenge after learning that the plane crash that killed her family was actually a terrorist attack. To date, that is Lively's most recent role. From 2007 - 2012, of course, Lively starred as Serena van Der Woodsen in the hit show Gossip Girl, for which she won several accolades.

Like Lively, actress Anna Kendrick, who portrays Stephanie Smothers in A Simple Favor, has been working in Hollywood for several years. She first became a familiar face for her role as Jessica Stanley in the Twilight movies. Following the franchise's end, Kendrick began to take on different roles. She played Natalie Keener in Up In The Air, Janet Taylor in End of Watch and voiced Courtney Babock in ParaNorman. In 2012, Kendrick reached full stardom for playing Becca Mitchell in the popular movie Pitch Perfect. After that, Kendrick appeared in a slew of movies from 2013 until A Simple Favor in 2018, including  What to Expect When You're Expecting, Drinking Buddies, Cake, Into the Woods, the two Pitch Perfect sequels, and The Accountant. She also appeared in the movies Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates and voiced a character in Trolls.

Related: The Shallows Behind The Scenes: How Filming Injured Blake Lively

Following her turn as Stephanie in A Simple Favor, Kendrick played Kendra Glack in the 2019 movie The Day Shall Come and portrayed Noelle Kringle in the holiday movie Noelle, released the same year. She also reprised her role in Trolls for the movie's 2020 sequel.

Andre Rannells, who plays Darren in A Simple Favor, began his career in television. He voiced characters on children's shows, like Pokémon and Yu-Gi-Oh!, as a kid, and the early aughts also saw his break into theater. He had numerous roles on the stage, and in 2011 played Elder Kevin Price in The Book of Mormon as an original cast member. From 2014 - 2018, he also had roles in Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Hamilton, Falsettos, and The Boys in the Band.

Related: Disney+ & HBO Max Already Have One Thing In Common: Anna Kendrick

Rannells became a familiar face on the screen when he joined the cast of Girls from 2012 - 2017, playing Elijah Krantz in 35 episodes. This role led him to other television parts, including Bryan Collins in The New Normal and Frazier H. Wingo in The Knick, as well as guest appearances in hit shows like How I Met Your Mother and Glee. He also had voice roles in the shows Sofia the First, Welcome to the Wayne, and Vampirina. Most notably, in 2017 Rannells joined the cast of Big Mouth. He continues to play that role into 2021, as well as continues to make occasional guest appearances on other shows. In terms of film — Rannell's most recent roles were in the 2020 films The Boys in the Band, The Prom, and The Stand In. And before appearing in 2018's A Simple Favor, he had parts in 2016's Why Him? and 2015's The Intern.

Linda Cardellini plays the part of Diana Hyland in A Simple Favor. Cardellini first became a household name in 1999, when she starred as Lindsay Weir in the cult television series Freaks and Geeks. That wasn't her first time in a series, though; throughout the late 1990s, she appeared in shows like Bone Chillers, 3rd Rock from the Sun, Clueless, Step by Step, Promised Land, Kenan & Kel, and Boy Meets World, among other programs.

Post-Freaks and Geeks, Cardellini continued her career in TV, appearing as Samantha Taggart in ER as Bliss Goode and Shelly in The Goode Family. She also had turns in popular shows like Gravity Falls, Mad Men, and New Girl, and took on the serious role of Meg Rayburn in 2015 for 33 episodes of Bloodline. In 2019, Cardellini began portraying Judy Hale in the Netflix series Dead to Me, opposite Christina Applegate.

Related: Why Freaks and Geeks Was Cancelled After One Season

Of course, many movie watchers know Cardellini's likeness from feature films. She appeared as Chutney Wyndham in Legally Blonde, and famously portrayed Velma Dinkley in Scooby-Doo and its sequel. Cardellini also had parts in Brokeback Mountain, The Lazarus Project, Kill the Irishman, and Daddy's Home and its sequel. Superhero movie fans know Cardellini as Laura Barton, the wife of Clint Barton aka Hawkeye in Avengers: Age of Ultron and Avengers: Endgame. And Cardellini has also starred in critically acclaimed films like Green Book, in which she played Dolores. In 2020, Cardellini portrayed Mae Capone in the movie Capone.

Actor Henry Golding portrays Sean Townsend in A Simple Favor. Golding has been a presenter on BBC's The Travel Show since 2014. Today's movie watchers primarily know him for playing the role of Nick Young in the hit 2018 movie Crazy Rich Asians, for which he won a Teen Choice Award. He also took on the role of Tom in the recent 2019 romantic-comedy holiday flick Last Christmas. Some lesser-known movies Townsend has appeared in include Pisau Cukur, Monsoon, and The Gentlemen. His most recent project is Snake Eyes, which is in post-production. In addition to being a longtime host on BBC's travel show, Golding has hosted shows including Football Crazy, Welcome to the Railworld Japan, and Surviving Borneo.

Jean Smart, who played Margaret McLanden in A Simple Favor, is most known for playing Lana Gardner on the NBC sitcom Frasier - a role for which she won two Primetime Emmy Awards. She started her impressive acting career in both film and television in the late 1970s. Some of the notable movies she's appeared in include Piaf, Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey, Snow Day, Sweet Home Alabama, Garden State, Life As We Know It, The Accountant, and, most recently, Superintelligence.

Related: Blake Lively & Michiel Huisman Talk 'Age of Adaline' Science, Harrison Ford & More

Smart has also appeared in television shows other than Fraiser throughout her career. She voiced Helen Ventrix in an episode of Batman: The Animated Series, played Sally Brewton in three episodes of Scarlett, and played Elinore "Ellie" Walker for 13 episodes of High Society. She also gained recognition for playing Martha Logan, the First Lady, in the show 24, and for portraying Regina Newly in 35 episodes of Samantha Who? 

Smart was in numerous other television series up until her turn in A Simple Favor, and also appeared in small guest roles in popular shows like Halt and Catch Fire and The McCarthys. In more recent years, Smart portrayed Floyd Gerhardt in Fargo and Melanie Bird in Legion, as well as Arlane Hart in Dirty John, Mimi in Arrested Development, and series regular Agent Laurie Blake in Watchmen. 

Rupert Friend played Dennis Nylon in A Simple Favor. The actor began his career with the 2004 movie The Libertine. He first became a familiar face when he took on the role of Mr. Wickham in Pride & Prejudice. Throughout the early aughts he had several other significant roles, including Sandy Mardell in Outlaw and Demetrius in The Last Legion, as well as Lt. Kurt Kotler in The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas and Prince Albert in The Young Victoria. 

Related: Bridgerton: Every Pride And Prejudice Easter Egg & Reference

TV-wise, Friend is most known for portraying the character Peter Quinn in 58 episodes of Homeland. For his performance as Peter, Friend was nominated for numerous accolades. He also appeared in other shows since the end of Homeland, including Dream Corp, LLC, Strange Angel, and, most recently, Anatomy of a Scandal.

Eric Johnson as Davis: played Flash Gordon on the eponymous 2007 - 2008 television series, as well as Whintey Fordman on the show Smallville and Jack Hyde in the Fifty Shades franchise, among other roles.

Dustin Milligan as Chris: played Ethan Ward on the teen drama show 90210. Most recently, of course, the majority of television watchers know him as Ted Mullens from Schitt's Creek.

Bashir Salahuddin as Detective Summervile: appeared in the movies Snatched and Gringo, and since then has been in Marriage Story and The 24th. He's also known as a writer on Maya and Marty and for portraying Keith Bang on GLOW and Office Goodnight on South Side.

Kelly McCormack as Stacy: known for playing Zeph in the sci-fi show Killyjoys and for playing Betty Anne on the show Letterkenny. Most recently, she wrote, produced, and starred in the feature film Sugar Daddy.

Sarah Baker as Maryanne Chelkowsky: was previously in the movies The Campaign and Mascots, as well as shows like The Kominsky Method and Louie.

Melissa O'Neil as Beth: first gained fame for winning the third season of Canadian Idol in 2005. She's also known for her roles as Two/Rebecca/Portia Lin on the sci-fi series Dark Matter and as Officer Lucy Chen on the police drama show The Rookie.

Of course, viewers have probably seen these listed stars in other movies and TV shows, too. This is a non-exhaustive list of the films and shows that they are most likely recognized from. When all of these actors came together to work on 2018's A Simple Favor, it was a notable project. The movie was praised for its ensemble effort and continues to gain traction among movie watchers today.

Next: A Simple Favor Ending: Disappearance Reveal & The Many Twists Explained

A Simple Favor Cast Guide: Where You Recognize The Actors From from https://ift.tt/37f1O1L

[morallygreywrites]

My Top 30 Writing Quotes

30.) The scariest moment is just before you start - Stephen King 29.)  Almost all good writing begins with terrible first efforts. You need to start somewhere - Anne Lamott 28.) There are three rules to writing: -  -  -  Unfortunately, no one knows what they are. - W. Somerset Maugham 27.) Writer’s block is the greatest side effect of boredom - Jason Zebehazy 26.) You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it- with a club! - Jack London 25.) The first draft of anything is shit - Ernest Hemingway 24.) The art of writing is discovering what you believe - Gustav Flaubert 23.) Description begins in the writer’s imagination but should finish in the reader’s - Stephen King 22.) If I waited for perfection I would never write a word - Margaret Atwood. 21.) You fail only if you stop writing - Ray Bradbury

20.) I wrote my first novel because I wanted to read it - Toni Morrison 19.) Quantity Produces Quality. If you only write a few things, you're doomed - Ray Bradbury 18.) Good writers define reality; bad ones merely restate it - Edward Albee. 17.) Every sentence must do one of two things - reveal character or advance the action - Kurt Vonnegut. 16.) Be courageous and try to write in a way that scares you a little - Holley Gerth 15.) Easy reading is damn hard writing - Nathaniel Hawthorne 14.) I write to give myself strength. I write to be the characters I am not. I write to explore all the things I am afraid of - Joss Whedon 13.) A writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people - Thomas Mann 12.) Editing is like killing your story and then very slowly bringing it back to life - Unknown 11.) No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader - Robert Frost

10.) Stopping a piece of work just because it’s hard either emotionally or imaginatively is a bad idea. Sometimes you have to go on when you don’t feel like it and sometimes you’re doing good work when all it feels like you’re managing to do is shovel shit from a sitting position - Stephen King 9.) Get it all down. Let it pour out of you onto the page. Write an incredibly shitty, self- indulgent, whiny, mewling first draft - Anne Lamott 8.) A professional writer is an amateur who didn’t quit - Richard Bach 7.) Real writers are those to want to write, need to write, have to write - Robert Penn Warren 6.) The writer's job is to get the main character up a tree and once they are up there, throw rocks at them Vladimir Nobokov 5.) It’s ok. Writer’s should be strange - Unknown 4.) Step into a scene and let it drip from your fingers - M.J. Bush 3.) The difference between the almost right word and the right word is… the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning -  Mark Twain 2.) Write while the heat is still in you. The writer who postpones the recording of his thoughts uses an iron which has cooled to burn a hole with - Henry David Thoreau. 1.) Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass - Anton Chekhov. 

[darriness]

3 On 1, Q's 1-15 :)

Ooooh! Yay! Thank you!!!

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

The inspiration for this fic came when I randomly discovered that Darren, Alex Brightman, and Henry Golding all had the exact same birthday. And then @ipwarn​ and I had a conversation about them being triplets and it all snowballed from there!

2: What scene did you first put down?

Like most of the fic I write, I wrote this one in order so the first scene is the first thing I wrote :)

3: What's your favorite line of narration?

Just realized I missed this question for A Life In A Year - Oops! (Not that I would be able to answer it for that fic anyway! lol)

For 3 on 1, I’m going to pick a line that isn’t particularly magnificent but I have things to say about it. My favourite line of narration is “And suddenly, Blaine seems like the perfect person to talk to about this.”

This line of dialogue comes just after Henry meets and spends some time with Kurt and as much as I love Klaine...I REALLY enjoyed Henry’s character and exploring his thoughts and feelings when it came to Kurt. I could picture, if 3 on 1 was an actual full length novel, I would write sequels focussing on Henry and Alex and I think Henry’s would be SO interesting to delve into. He was my favourite character to get inside his head and so...yeah :)

4: What's your favorite line of dialogue?

I went back through and no line of dialogue REALLY stuck out to me but I did kind of enjoy this one (I just copied and pasted with the narration as well but it’s the quotes I like the best):

“Amelia throws her hands up in the air in exasperation but it’s Blaine who answers, “Are you seven?” He asks, incredulously, and the question just makes Alex’s arms cross tighter, “Because that’s how you’re acting. This is like the time mom and dad bought us scooters for our birthday and you got pissed that I got the red one because you wanted the red one.”

Kurt furrows his brow, “Are you likening me to a scooter?” “

5: What part was hardest to write?

The hardest part for me was writing the part where they all found out they were dating the same person for sure

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

It’s the most AU fic I’ve written so I suppose that makes it special.

7: Where did the title come from?

I struggled with the title. Even now I’m not 100% happy with it. But it’s really just meant to be taken literally. There are three men and only one Kurt (I actually asked my beta if it wasn’t a good title because of it’s sports connotation considering there is no sports in the fic). 

There were a few other working titles this fic had (none of them coming to mind at the moment though...) but in the end I stuck with 3 on 1.

8: Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?

Well Henry and Alex were both sort of based off of Henry Golding and Alex Brightman but I don’t really ‘know’ either of those men very well at all so I really just went with how I thought their personalities would be and how I wanted them to be based on their pictures (and a little bit of what I knew from seeing Alex on Broadway - even though that was a character)

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

Nope :) Though for a hot second I considered having Kurt sleep with all three of them before coming to a decision.

10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?

Cause Klaine is all I write! lol :)

11: What do you like best about this fic?

I love how ‘different’ it is - I’ve never read a fic with this concept before. Also the fan art makes me weak in the knees! <3 lol

12: What do you like least about this fic?

I don’t like that I would so love to make this a trio of novels but I don’t think it’ll ever happen.

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn't listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

Once again I was just listening to acoustic pop on my Alexa :) - some of my fics are based around music, this one wasn’t.

14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

Not particularly :)

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

I’m not sure I learned much from it. I loved writing it and I loved how it came out but I’m not sure I learned much...

[nalasan]

12, 17, 18, 22 for China cups!❤️

Thank you for asking <3

12. Is there a trope you haven’t written yet but really want to?

There are a few, yes. I love the “There’s only one bed”-trope, I just never had the opportunity to use it. There’s a few fandoms for which I’d like to write something like a college/workplace AU. And I really would like to write something experimental, like a story entirely in dialogue/text messages or an epistolary fic (I recently unearthed an old draft of a Kurtbastian story that is just the notes they leave on their shared fridge).

17. What fic are you most proud of?

Difficult to answer. China Cups and Top Hats has been with me for eight years, has almost 250.000 words and is definitely a labour of love, and I will feel very proud and slightly empty when I finish it this year. On the other hand, it’s really imperfect, and I love it regardlessly, but I can see the mistakes.

Work in Progress was the Kingdom Hearts story I really would have wanted to read, so I wrote it in a month or so. It too isn’t perfect, but I wouldn’t change a thing about it - I like the plot, I like the scenes, I like the pacing, I like the dialogue, I love the character dynamics. It was really fun to write, and it really encouraged me to seriously consider writing as a career again - because if I can write 45.000 words in a month, I can write a novel. Or two.

There are also smaller one-shots for different fandoms which I wrote and gifted to my girlfriend. There’s one about The Three Investigators (a very German fandom) that she really really loved, so - I guess every story that makes other people happy?

18. What is a line/scene you’re really proud of? Give us the DVD commentary for that scene.

From China Cups and Top Hats, Chapter 34:

“Kurt looks at the things spread out on the bed, and his heart clenches painfully. He has handled items like these so often, has cleaned them, brushed them, and most importantly – handed them on, to the person they belonged to, to the person who would, could, wear them.

And that is not him.“

I love this bit because it breaks down the central external conflict of the story, the one that remains even when Kurt and Sebastian sort out all their past baggage and internal insecurities. Because to have a relationship that is fundamentally unequal in terms of power (not because you want it to be, but because circumstance dictates so) is very difficult, and a little problematic, if I’m being honest. But luckily, there’s still eight to ten chapters to go, so, we’ll see.

There are two other scenes from upcoming chapters that I really love, but I’m not sure if I should spoil them.

22. Have you cried while writing a fic? 

No, I don’t think so. I have yelled though.

[theblueroute]

On March 27, four Widener English majors–all Blue Route staff members–and two faculty members traveled to Portland, Oregon to attend the annual Association of Writers and Writing Programs conference. Along with nearly 12,000 other writers, readers, editors, and publishers, the team enjoyed three amazing days of panels, networking opportunities, enlightening readings and keynotes speeches, and of course, the pacific northwest! Read on for a few words from all four senior English majors about their time in Portland!

Kelly Bachich Carlie and I signed up for an hour of manning the FUSE table in the book fair section of the conference. While we were setting up, Carlie nudged me and said, “Kelly, doesn’t that dog on that poster over there look just like the one you wrote about in Historical Fiction class?” Low and behold, I look over and the juxtaposing booth is sporting a poster of Laika, the space dog from the Sputnik II mission that I had just written about the week before coming to AWP. Naturally, I had to go over and investigate. I asked the woman working the booth why Laika was on the poster and she informed me that their book press had published an author who just wrote a biography on Laika. Not only were they selling copies, but he would be there signing them in an hour!

I purchased the book and stood waiting in line, mustering up the courage to ask the author, Kurt Caswell, if I could send him my short piece to read. I am a pretty confident and outgoing person but, for some reason, the minute I was next in line I almost chickened out. I told him about the poster and why I had to buy his book and meet him to tell him that I had also just written about Laika. He handed my book back to me after a really great conversation about Laika and I knew my window to ask him to read my story had closed. Then, to my complete shock, he asked me to send him my story to read and even gave me his personal email to send it to. I was elated.

Later that night, Rohan met a panelist named Shayla Lawson who wrote a poetry chapbook mixed with Frank Ocean songs and got us invited to a “battle of the bands” where she performed her work with her band. One of the opening acts, however, incorporated the song “Space Oddity” by David Bowie into his piece. The minute I heard the lyrics my head snapped over to look at Carlie who was already staring at me, mouth agape. “Space Oddity” is also an integral part of my short story about Laika. In a three-page story there is not much room and for two major aspects to crop up so blatantly at AWP had to be a sign for me to continue working with that piece. AWP is an invaluable resource for English and creative writing majors, it is a hub for creative minds and a space where we can feel important and bond with other professionals.

Vita Lypyak The first panel I attended at AWP was one of my favorites. It was titled “Translators Are the Unacknowledged Ambassadors of the World,” which is a play on the famous Percy Bysshe Shelley quote, “women are the unacknowledged poets of the world.” I speak two languages besides English, so languages and translation is something that always interested me. The final panelist opened my eyes to the Iranian culture and the struggles associated with translating Iranian literature to English. Unlike the first two panelists, she explained that Iran, as a nation, hinders its own artist by utilizing strict censorship and even executing writers. As a whole, this panel made me understand the crucial role translators have in the dissemination of literature. It helped me understand that translating is also a form of creative writing; a translator has to not only present the same meaning of the original work, but also closely match the same style.

In a sense, translators are poets and makers of things, too; they give readers access to things they could have never reached, due to a language barrier. AWP features a lot of intellectually stimulating and educational panels, which are great, but they can also cause a lot of mental fatigue. By attending poetry readings and readings of other kinds, it really helps your mind slow down and recharge, at least that was my experience. At “A Wild Girls Poetry Reading,” I was particularly moved by one poet, who wrote a collection of poetry where she was attempting to deal with the grief associated with her younger brother’s suicide. The stories she told the audience and the poetry she read were so raw and they made me empathize with her so much. I attended this reading on the first day and I could not stop thinking about her work. Her words impacted me the entire trip to the point that on the last day, I went and bought her book. I had to or I would never forgive myself. After I purchased it, I sat outside and read it from cover to cover, and her words continued to move me.

Rohan Suriyage I decided to go to Page Meets Stage, a reading that is a yearly tradition at AWP. This was the best decision I made throughout the time of the conference. The reading consisted of five poets reading and performing poems after one another, “popcorning” in order and choosing what to perform based on what was read before them. The panel was led by Taylor Mali, four-time poetry slam champion and arguably the most famous American spoken word poet, and consisted of other notable poets like Anis Mojgani, Mark Doty, and Shayla Lawson. For the whole hour I just sat there, mouth agape, at the incomparable stage presence and refined performing art they all shared with the room. When it was time for Shayla Lawson to read, she prefaced her poems in explaining they were all from a book of poems inspired by Frank Ocean, an R&B artist and one of my main artistic inspirations. When Shayla finished performing “Strawberry Swing” from her poetry book I Think I’m Ready to See Frank Ocean I struggled to retrieve my jaw from the floor and knew I had to speak to her after. Upon the panel’s conclusion I was able to do so.

We talked about Frank and our common interests, and after we spoke, she invited me to come to a reading she was orchestrating in downtown Portland. Of course, I obliged and I ended up going after the last of the panels of the day. In the library room of the Heathman Hotel, I heard Shayla and 4 of her colleagues read marvelous poetry. All of them are part of an association of writers called the Affrilacians, about 2,000 southern writers strong (per Facebook). Two of them I met and spoke with, published poet and educator Mitchell L.H. Douglas and former Kentucky poet laureate and educator Frank X Walker. Both were incredibly down to earth men who gave me insight on getting published and furthering my education, and I thank them for that. To whoever made the decision to take me as one of the students to go on AWP this year: thank you. Thank you. What I owe you can never be repaid. This was a span of days I can’t see myself ever forgetting, a span of days I firmly believe will prove to be important as I further my writing career.

Carlie Sisco One of the panels I attended was titled “8 Techniques Guaranteed to Take Your Script to the Next Level.” Using examples of films such as “Juno,” “Star Wars: A New Hope,” “Pulp Fiction,” and “Little Miss Sunshine” among others, this panel offered techniques relative to character, scene structure, descriptions, and dialogue. Though I do not write screenplays myself, I have always loved reading the screenplays to my favorite movies and television shows. It makes a very visual experience feel like reading a book. This panel demonstrated the ways in which some screenwriting techniques have the ability to transcend into fiction writing, because, even if I am not worrying about camera angles, it is still storytelling. Screenwriting can sound like a novel just as a novel can read like a screenplay.

Something that stood out to me in particular had to do with a tip on character development: “we watch movies because we want to connect with our characters.” Is that not the same for fiction writers? Shouldn’t I also be focusing on want versus desire, asking emotional questions in scenes, considering symbolism and foreshadowing, making my language visual or finding imaginative ways to introduce my characters? Isn’t it good advice regardless of the medium to think about increasing tension and suspense by slowing down, using misdirection to reveal information, or revealing my characters through their actions? I chose to go to a variety panels on screenwriting and playwriting not because I want to try my hand at either one, but because I know that the techniques between them and fiction writing are interchangeable. I also know that films and television serve as my influence, the driving force that compels me to provide visual detail and intricate characters. I would not have been able to explore what that means to my writing or how related the two mediums are had I not been given this opportunity. My path may not have been the one most fiction writers would typically take, but I think that is what was so amazing about AWP at the end of the day. I was able to find what interested me and gained insight from an influencing medium all while taking my own unique path.

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by Carlie Sisco

Recently our senior staff members attended the 2019 AWP Conference in Portland. Click the link to read about their experience! #AWP2019 On March 27, four Widener English majors–all Blue Route staff members–and two faculty members traveled to Portland, Oregon to attend the annual…

[themagiciansreccenter]

Author Spotlight: highestkingbambi

Every week we are going to be interviewing a writer from The Magicians fandom. If you would like to be interviewed or you want to nominate a writer, get in touch via our ask box.

First things first, tell us a little about yourself.

Hi! I’m Rae aka @highestkingbambi or sullyandlulu. I’m in my late twenties and  a small business owner. I live on the underside of the world—for now—with my husband and dog.

How long have you been writing for?

I’ve been writing on and off for about 15 years now, though I only started writing for fandom in about 2010.

What inspired you to start writing for The Magicians?

I started developing some plot points after watching Life in a Day, but it was the Quentin vs the depression key and the aftermath of that which had me pull out my notebook and start writing fiction for the first time in a number of years.

Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write? What it is about them that makes them your favourite?

Margo is by far my favourite character to write, though the POV for my fics tends to be pretty evenly mixed between her and Quentin. What I love about writing Margo is just how multifaceted she is, and yet there is so little we know about her. She rarely lets her true feelings show, but when she does, you never forget them and I love delving into that part of her.

Do you have a preference for a particular season/point in time to write about?

I tend to write canon divergent fics based around the first few months at Brakebills, however I also love filling in missing scenes, particularly from season three. Honestly, I just write whatever my muse leads me to.

Are you working on anything right now? Care to give us an idea about it?

My big project at the moment is a Hardboiled/Noir Alternate Universe story that I am writing from Margo’s POV set in Los Angeles, 1948. There is a teaser you can find here.

How long is your “to do list”?

My official “to do list” has approximately 18 ideas listed, however the list in my head is significantly longer. I’m never going to get through them, so if anyone wants one, hmu.

What is your favourite fic that you’ve written for The Magicians? Why?

Hands down this is still ‘Talk Therapy’. It’s a little rough, but I loved delving into Margo’s thoughts and feelings pre ‘The Fillorian Candidate’. I am also incredibly passionate about showing the relationship between Margo and Quentin and it was a real treat to be inspired to write such an intimate, platonic moment between them.

Many writers have a fic that they are passionate about that doesn’t get the reception from the fandom that they hoped for. Do you have a fic you would like more people to read and appreciate?

My paintball fic, ‘Cacophony of Color’ I totally get why it doesn’t get a lot of traction as its a gen fic with minimal shipping, but I just had so much fun writing it. It’s rare for me to write something so silly (smut and angst are my defaults) and the pure joy I felt while putting it together has me wish that more people read it.

What is your writing process like? Do you have any traditions or superstitions that you like to stick to when you’re writing?

My writing process is disastrous. I get an idea, start writing and see how far I get. When I inevitably hit a brick wall, that’s when I’ll put together an outline and see how I can steer it to a preferred end goal. I don’t really have any traditions or superstitions, though I do find it easier to be creative when I am sitting in a strange position. E.g. Lying on the floor with my feet on the couch and my dog on my feet.

Do you write while the seasons are airing or do you prefer to wait for hiatus? How does the ongoing development of the canon influence and inspire your writing process?

I only started writing during season three and it’s been interesting to compare the stories I was inspired to write while the season was airing and what I have been writing during the hiatus. There was an urgency in my mind to write as quickly as possible to get a fic up before canon proved any of my theories or ideas wrong, whereas now I am more focused on getting the details right.

What has been the most challenging fic for you to write?

All of the unfinished fics in my google drive? :) As for published fics, the hardest was probably ‘The People We Were’. I wrote that one pretty quickly and when I look back the tense is all over the place. I had to break that one up into chunks and write it out of order (not my usual style) because I just kept getting choked up about how devastating the characters losing their memories is.

Are there any themes or tropes that you like particularly like to explore in your writing?

I dunno. For someone known for writing ‘that orgy fic’ I am a big fan of writing platonic and semi-platonic relationships.

Are there any writers that inspire your work? Fanfiction or otherwise?

It probably doesn’t show, but I’ve always been inspired by the writing styles of Jeanette Winterson, Kurt Vonnegut and Jack Kerouac (I was that hipster asshole who backpacked from San Francisco to New York City via New Orleans with a worn out copy of ‘On the Road’. Please don’t judge me. I was young.) As for fanfiction writers, there are so many writers in this fandom that inspire me, I couldn’t narrow it down.

What are you currently reading? Fanfiction or otherwise?

I am currently drowning in crime fiction novels from Dashiel Hammett to P.D James as research for my WIP. Fanfiction wise I am overly invested in OneEyedDestroyer’s ‘Head to Head’, BrightWhiteLights’ ‘Modified Aspect Ratio, Gwendolynflight’s ‘Divine Rituals’ and Coldfiredragon’s ‘Shoulder to Shoulder With You’.

What is the most valuable piece of writing advice you’ve ever been given?

“Just fucking do it, who gives a shit if the markers get freaked out about a little sinew?” - My 12th grade writing teacher. This was in relation to a mobster fiction short story I wrote for my high school major work.

Cringe time:

Are there any words or phrases you worry about over using in your work?

I use so many double negatives when I write that half the time I cannot believe that anyone can even understand what I’m trying to say. I probably over use ‘definitely’ and ‘actually’ in my writing as well but that’s less obvious to me.

What was the first fanfic that you wrote? Do you still have access to it?

I do have access to it. It’s a short drabble that I wrote to supplement my original character’s backstory in an old x-men tumblr rp. No, I will not share it.

Rapid Fire Round:

Self-edit or Beta? Beta

Comments or Kudos/Reblogs or Likes? Comments are always appreciated.

Smut, Fluff or Angst? All of the above.

Quick & Dirty or Slow Burn? Quick and Dirty

Favourite season? Season Three

Favourite episode? The Fillorian Candidate

Favourite book(The Magicians books)? Don’t hate me, I haven’t read them.

Three favourite words? Novelty, moron, shit-tonne.

Want to be interviewed for our author spotlight? Get in touch here.

[aion-rsa]

Can Salem’s Lot and Firestarter Reignite Stephen King at the Box Office?

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It was almost exactly four years ago when It: Chapter One (as it came to be called), the first of two movies based on Stephen King’s classic 1986 novel, opened in theaters to a record-shattering $124 million in its first weekend. Adjusted for inflation, the film went on to become the highest grossing horror movie (and King adaptation) of all time, earning $701 million worldwide. Not even the vampires of ‘Salem’s Lot multiplied at that rate!

It’s explosive and unprecedented opening coincided (and perhaps helped drive) a new wave of Stephen King adaptations, both as movies and TV productions, and new generations of filmmakers and hungry-for-content streaming services eagerly tapped into the author’s vast collection of works.

As of last year, some 25 projects based on King novels, novellas, or short stories were said to be in development, but of all those, only three—all limited television series—have made it to their respective streaming platforms. Still, there are two movies entering production as of right now: Firestarter, which began filming earlier this year, and ‘Salem’s Lot, which goes in front of the cameras this month.

Both stories have been adapted before—twice in the case of ‘Salem’s Lot—but never satisfyingly, and both a long time ago. The novels themselves were King’s second and sixth books to be published and are part of the classic first 10 or so works that turned King into a phenomenon (that initial run arguably stretches from Carrie to Pet Sematary, more or less).

Nevertheless, following the release of It, several more King-based movies came out—and all underperformed.

It: Chapter Two, which arrived two years after its predecessor in 2019, earned $473 million worldwide. Which is a handsome sum, to be sure; but it’s also nearly 35 percent below Chapter One. Meanwhile a heavily promoted remake of Pet Sematary, issued in April 2019, stalled at a mere $113 million worldwide (even if its tight $21 million budget made it profitable enough). And Doctor Sleep, a clever and powerful adaptation from director Mike Flanagan of King’s The Shining sequel, was a complete bust, topping off at just $72 million globally.

While it’s harder to judge and quantify how several King-based TV or streaming projects did, it’s reasonable to conclude that two recent limited series, CBS All Access’s The Stand and Apple TV+’s Lisey’s Story, came and went without making much of a dent in the pop culture conversation (although HBO’s limited series based on The Outsider caused a brief stir).

So what happened? Was It’s iconic Pennywise the Dancing Clown ingrained enough in the public consciousness to warrant the first movie’s massive success, without that necessarily signaling a wholesale embrace of more Stephen King material on the big screen?

‘Salem’s Lot and Firestarter may be able to answer that question for certain. The former in particular is considered one of King’s all-time masterpieces and was often cited for years by the author himself as his favorite of his early novels.

Set in the small, rural Maine town of Jerusalem’s Lot, the story follows a writer named Ben Mears who comes back to the Lot where he spent several years as a child seeking inspiration for a new book. He gets much more than he bargained for when it turns out that another new resident in town is actually an ancient vampire—and is turning the entire community into his own flock of the undead.

What was so stunning about ‘Salem’s Lot at the time of its publication (the hardcover arrived in 1975) was King’s deft combination of the vampire mythology with the inner workings of a small yet instantly recognizable 20th century American hamlet.

The Lot, its inhabitants, and all their affairs, secrets, scandals, and everyday workings were so vividly rendered that the intrusion of a monster as stereotypical in its way as a vampire (America at the time was still transfixed by demonic possession in the wake of The Exorcist) was realistic and terrifying.

The vampires that eventually overrun the Lot and turn it into a literal village of the dead—led by the magisterial yet barely seen Kurt Barlow—were truly frightening as well; no sparkly Twilight types or tormented hunks a la Anne Rice’s Interview with the Vampire (published a couple of years later) here.

Read more

Movies

15 Best Stephen King Movies

By John Saavedra

Books

Stephen King: 10 Best Horror Novels

By John Saavedra

They were monsters that stank of the grave yet still possessed enough of their old memories and a vicious cunning to make them formidable enemies for the book’s quickly dwindling band of heroes. King drew inspiration from Bram Stoker’s literary version of Dracula, but actually took the concept to the apocalyptic endpoint that the Victorian author only hinted at.

‘Salem’s Lot was adapted twice, in 1979 and 2004, both times as two-part, four-hour (with commercials) limited series for CBS and TNT, respectively. The first was directed by Tobe Hooper (The Texas Chain Saw Massacre) and starred David Soul as Ben Mears, with James Mason also top-billed as Barlow’s human assistant/familiar, Straker.

While suffering from the constraints of TV at the time, both in terms of budget and what could be shown, the 1979 version works more often than not. It does combine or eliminate a number of characters, and most controversially changed Barlow from a Christopher Lee-like nobleman to a non-speaking creature resembling Nosferatu’s Count Orlok, shifting the primary villainy to Mason’s Straker.

But Mason himself is quite sinister and very good, as is Soul as the brooding Mears and several other actors. There are also several scenes involving the vampires themselves that are pretty eerie for the time when considering, again, this was a CBS-TV prime time miniseries.

The 2004 version, directed by Mikael Salomon, starred Rob Lowe as Mears, Donald Sutherland as Straker, and Rutger Hauer as a more faithful version of Barlow. The miniseries also restored other characters that had been cut or minimized in the 1979 version and stuck to the same basic narrative while creating a different framing story from either King’s book or the earlier adaptation.

But Lowe isn’t nearly as effective as Soul in the pivotal role of Mears, and both the cast and show overall—despite the names mentioned above and others like James Cromwell—come off as bland. There are moments from the book that are welcome and a few gripping sequences, but this version of the story never ratchets up the intensity to a satisfying degree.

The new feature film, which is now filming in Boston (‘Salem’s Lot at last films in New England, where it’s set, as opposed to California and Australia), has been penned and is being directed by Gary Dauberman, who co-wrote both part of It and has written four of the movies in producer James Wan’s Conjuring-verse (Dauberman also directed the underrated Annabelle Comes Home).

A tremendous King fan, Dauberman told us back in 2019 that his goal was to make vampires on the big screen truly horrific again.

“We haven’t seen that in a really long time and they should be terrifying, and the novel’s terrifying, and it’s fucking great to work on,” Dauberman said. “I can’t wait to bring it to the big screen, we’ve seen it on the smaller screen and it’s going to be awesome on the big screen.”

Whether Dauberman can make King’s 400-plus page novel and all its subplots work as a feature film, even a lengthy one, instead of a more roomy limited series will be an interesting trick to pull off. Some cast members, including Lewis Pullman as Ben Mears, Makenzie Leigh as his love interest Susan Norton, Bill Camp as local teacher Matt Burke, and Alfre Woodard as Dr. Cody, have been announced already, but don’t provide any sense of where the film is headed yet.

As for Firestarter, the book was published in 1981 and warmly received at the time. King was at his early peak of commercial success and readers were eager to devour his next offering. Even so, that tale has probably not retained the same resonance as ‘Salem’s Lot. As the story of a little girl who can start fires with her mind (the result of drug experiments on her parents by a secret government agency), the book was King’s first overt science fiction novel and reads more as a tech chase thriller than his previous supernatural work.

The 1984 film version directed by Mark L. Lester (Class of 1984) featured an extremely faithful screenplay; with a smaller group of characters and its more streamlined, structured narrative, Firestarter is perhaps more adaptable and linear than a vast tapestry of people and incidents like ‘Salem’s Lot. But the film was directed in such workmanlike fashion that the script never comes to life.

The cast is problematic too. Following her breakout in E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial, Drew Barrymore seemed like a no-brainer for the title role of little Charlie McGee. But Barrymore—apparently conscious that she was an “actor”—is overwrought and histrionic, becoming more annoying than sympathetic. David Keith is okay as her father, while Art Carney and Louise Fletcher probably come off best as an elderly couple who help the McGees at a critical moment.

The most egregious casting is that of George C. Scott as John Rainbird, the shamanic Native American assassin who forms an unsettling bond with Charlie once she and her dad are recaptured by the agency known only as the Shop. Aside from the fact that casting Scott as a Native American is ridiculous enough, the relationship just doesn’t work on screen—Rainbird’s fascination with Charlie as an avatar of his own death in the novel just comes off as creepily bordering on child predation in the movie.

It will be interesting to see how producer Jason Blum, director Keith Thomas (The Vigil), and screenwriter Scott Teems (Halloween Kills) handle that relationship in their upcoming remake, but at least they’ve actually hired a First Nation actor, Michael Greyeyes, as Rainbird. Zac Efron is also a solid choice for Andy McGee while Ryan Kiera Armstrong (The Tomorrow War) has won the role of Charlie.

Of the two adaptations, Firestarter is clearly the easier to translate to the screen. Both titles carry instant name recognition for King fans and the general public, but it’s ‘Salem’s Lot that has perhaps the greater pull overall. Plus we’ve seen lots of kids, teens, and tweens with psychic powers on screen over the past few years; when was the last time you saw a truly scary vampire movie?

Neither film has a release date yet; Firestarter is in post-production while filming on ‘Salem’s Lot is just beginning. In the meantime, King himself, showing no signs of slowing down as he approaches his 74th birthday, continues to churn out books and stories which studios and production companies will no doubt continue to snap up. All they need now are audiences to turn up and prove that, unlike Pennywise in It, it won’t take another 27 years for King’s name to mean box office gold again.

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[seanpatricklittlewriter]

The Movie Post

Greetings and salutations, true believers. I haven’t posted anything in a while other than shameless book promotion stuff for #FourthAndWrong, and for that I apologize. I always say I’d let you know if anything good happened immediately, but nothing good has happened. The new book is out. A few people who have read it told me they liked it. It’s not selling well. Lack of sales means a lack of reviews, which only helps it not sell faster. It’s all a vicious cycle. At a certain point, you have to remember that you’re only writing books because some tiny voice in your head won’t let you stop, and you just throw your hands up and let everything else fall as it may. For the first time, I’ve actually bothered to try real advertising. I’m giving advertising on the Kindle lock screens a go. I’ll let you know if actually works.

 In the meantime, I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts while puttering around the house, going for walks, and ignoring the gym. (I gotta stop ignoring the gym…) If you haven’t watched “Ted Lasso” on AppleTV yet, I HIGHLY recommend it. It’s one of the best shows I’ve watched in a long time. Great writing. Great characters. Great story. Very uplifting and wonderful. One of the show’s writers, creators, and stars, the wonderful Brett Goldstein (who plays the gruff Roy Kent on the show), has a podcast called “Films to Buried With.”

 I started listening to his podcast because I enjoy him on the show so much, and I’ve found out that I enjoy his podcast as much as the show. He’s a genuinely sweet man, and he gets comedian and actor friends to guest on his podcast. The show’s conceit is that Brett invites guests on, tells them they have died, and then gets them to relive their life through the films that meant something to them. It’s a fun little chat show, and a solid way to waste an hour while you’re getting through doing the dishes or mowing the lawn.

 It’s precisely the sort of podcast I would love to be on. I’ve always said you can judge your level of success by what people invite you to do. I always said I’d know if I “made it” if I could ever get invited to be on one of the podcasts I enjoy, rather than trying to wrangle my way into someone else’s podcast or blog. So far— this has not happened. That should tell you what level of success I’m stuck at. I don’t get invited to the movies by my imaginary friends. But Brett encourages people to share their ideas and opinions on social media, anyhow. It’s a fun way to play along at home, tell other people about the podcast, and start conversations around your favorite movies. Stories bind us together. They give us common ground and build bridges toward strengthening relationships. If you meet someone new, you can tell if you’ll get along with them by what films they enjoy. So in that spirit, I’d like to answer the questions Brett asks his guests by discussing a few of my favorite films. If you’d like to play along in the comments, please do. I always love reading about what other people think about movies, books, or music. I won’t bother going through the death/afterlife conceit he uses, but I recommend listening to a few of his podcasts if you enjoy this sort of thing. It’s a fun little premise he uses to generate the episodes.

 --What’s the first film you remember seeing?

         I remember bits and pieces of several films from my childhood. I remember the Muppet Movie in the theater. I remember seeing The Black Hole. I remember a lot of little chunks of a lot of Disney animated films. But the movie that sticks out in my head is “Raiders of the Lost Ark.” It was 1981. I was six. I remember going to see it on a Sunday matinee with my family. I remember it was packed. People were literally sitting on the floor in the aisles. We got three seats someplace, but I remember my dad having to sit in the row in front of us. I don’t remember a ton about the movie the first time I saw it other than being scared of the pit of snakes and the melting Nazi faces. However, I remember the iconic moment when Harrison Ford pulled the gun on the swordsman and shot him. I remember the audience reaction and thinking, “That’s a hero.” I’ve long been a Harrison Ford fan. Between Han Solo and Indiana Jones, he played two of the most iconic heroes of my childhood. When I wrote the TeslaCon novels, I made no secret that my protagonist, Nicodemus Clarke, was just a shallow rip-off of Indiana Jones. It’s funny, but to this day, in my head, if you ask me what a hero looks like, it’s always going to be Harrison Ford.

  --What’s the scariest film you’ve ever seen?

          The scariest film I’ve ever seen is Kevin Smith’s “Red State.” It’s a movie about a religious cult that’s very reminiscent of the Westboro Baptist Church, David Koresh/Waco compound, or any of the other extremely far-right Christian separatist movements. It’s scary because there are many, many of these gun-hoarding compounds, and the movie, while extreme, is not too far off from possibility. Michael Parks plays the leader of the family at the heart of the film, and his performance was award worthy. He was truly terrifying.     As an aside, prior to Red State, I always told people the movie that scared me the most was the original “The Amityville Horror.” Basically, I saw the scene where the poltergeist made the drop-sash window fall on the kid’s fingers and nearly sever them, and that was it. I had the same drop-sash windows in my bedroom, and I was scared of them from then on. I’d like to say that I outgrew my fear of drop-sash windows, but I’m 46 and they still skeeze me out when I see them. A movie I saw 40 years ago warped me forever.

  --What’s the movie that made you cry the most?

         I used to not be someone who cried at movies. However, years of thyroid issues and depression have messed with my response to emotional moments, so I do get teary nowadays at movies. Emotionally speaking, it’s not sad movies that get to me. It’s movies where someone overcomes something difficult. Especially sports movies. The ones that get me the most teary-eyed now are movies like the first “Rocky,” “Hoosiers,” “Miracle,” and “Rudy.” I also get teary-eyed at points of bravery to the point of stupidity. The best example of that is the climax and denouement of “How to Train Your Dragon.” Strangely enough, when a movie does something that is supposed to be a tear-jerker moment to the point that it panders to the audience, I don’t cry— I actually get angry. Anything Nicolas Sparks has ever had his name attached to, for instance. It’s maudlin, and it doesn’t deserve our respect.

  --What the film that made you laugh the most?

       This is not going to be a popular answer. If I was a little more erudite, I’d say something like “Airplane” or “Blazing Saddles” or “Monty Python and the Holy Grail.” However, I didn’t see any of those in the theater originally. I was home, watching them on video. While they were funny and some of my favorite movies, I did not really do a ton of laughing while I saw them. I went to see “BASEketball” with my sister, and the theater was packed. Something about seeing a movie in a crowded theater heightens the emotional impact of jokes, and for whatever reason, that movie put me on the floor a couple of times. It’s a silly movie full of cheap laughs, but I remember hurting as I was leaving the theater. My sides and cheeks were sore. Second on that list was the movie “Bridesmaids.” I don’t think I’ve laughed harder at any movie than the scene where they all get diarrhea in the bridal shop. Especially Melissa McCarthy: “LOOK AWAY!”

  --What is the sexist film you’ve seen?

         For me, I will never forget seeing “Bachelor Party” on HBO at a friend’s house. Monique Gabrielle’s scene is probably the first time I saw full-frontal female nudity in a film. It burned itself into my brain. I probably have a thing for redheads to this day because of that scene. The rest of the movie is very wild and funny. It was one of the launching blocks for Tom Hanks’s ridiculously amazing career. But that one moment stands out as one of the sexiest things I’ve ever seen.

  --What film did you used to love, but now it’s not that great?

         Pretty much anything with “Rocky” in the title and a number following it. I still enjoy them, but Rocky III and IV, especially— not that good. I used to love them. I used to watch them whenever they hit TV, but now I only need to watch the first “Rocky,” and maybe the final fight in “Rocky II.” Anything else, I can leave out. They just feel a little overclocked at this point in my life.

  --What’s a film that people and critics panned, but you enjoyed?

        “Goon.” It’s a hockey film written by Jay Baruchel and starring Seann William Scott. It didn’t get wide release—almost straight-to-video. It didn’t get great reviews. I think Metacritic has it around 60%. But something about that movie hit me, and I love it. I suggest it to people all the time. It’s got great performances. It’s a solid flick. It’s not going to overwhelm you. It’s now one of my comfort films. When I’m bored and need something on in the background, I will often choose “Goon” or its sequel, “Goon: Last of the Enforcers.” The sequel was not as good as the original, but it’s still worth a watch. Kurt Russell’s son Wyatt is the villain in the sequel. He’s extremely good.

  --What’s a film that people love, but you hate?

        Hands down: “Avatar” or “Titanic.” Something about a lot of James Cameron films just don’t work with me. I think it’s because they’re too grandiose. They try too hard. Also, the scripts are just there to get him to the big, visual set-pieces. They’re thin on both character and plot. I can’t stand either of them.

  --What’s a film that means a lot to you, but it’s not because of the quality of the movie (i.e. you saw it with someone and it’s special, or it has importance to people around you, etc…)?

       Easily, “The Man From Snowy River.” This is a family favorite. I grew up watching this flick, and I made my daughter watch it when she was younger. I will never get tired of it. I probably watch it maybe three or four times a year. There’s just something about the cinematography of the climax when Jim goes down the mountainside on Denny’s back. It’s always breath-taking. Also, if you watch “The Man From Snowy River,” you see what my dad always wanted his life to be. Most boys’ fathers want their sons to be doctor or lawyers. My dad wanted me to be a cowboy.

  --What film do you relate to the most?

        “Clerks.” I saw “Clerks” when I was a senior in high school. Rented it from a local video store. I saw two dudes who were outliers in their social group working crappy jobs and dealing with the mundane nothingness of life. It hit me right in the gut. I resolved to do something better than that. So far, I’ve failed to do so, but I keep trying.

  --Empirically speaking, what is the best film? (Not necessarily favorite film— but what film do you think is the best film ever made?)

         I have to say it was “Lawrence of Arabia.” The casting was amazing. The cinematography was incredible, unrivaled, really. The story was excellent. And the ordeal of the entire filming process was without peer. What they went through to make that movie, hands down, makes it the best film ever made. The scope of the film alone is mind-boggling.  The Lord of the Rings trilogy is a close second, but that’s technically three films, so I went with Lawrence of Arabia.

  --What film have you seen the most?

         I have watched “The Muppet Movie” a ton. I still love the movie “Roxanne.” I have also seen “Seven Brides for Seven Brothers” and “The Quiet Man” more than any single person probably should. If I had to think about it and pick one film I’ve seen more than other…it’s probably “Meatballs.” Growing up, my sister and I watched that flick a thousand times. I can probably recite it from memory. It’s also one of the films that cemented an undying loyalty to Bill Murray.

   --And finally: You die and go to heaven. And in heaven, they ask you to pick one film that summarizes your life, one film that makes people understand you, or a film you want people to watch to help them know you better. What is that film?

         Nothing has had more influence on my life than the movie “Ghostbusters.” It defined me in several ways: my love for comedy, my love for the paranormal, and my love for snark and snappy comebacks. I loved Ghostbusters so much that I watched it on a weekly basis. I ran the audio cables from our VCR to a tape deck and recorded an audio copy of the film to play on my Walkman while I road the bus to school every day. I still have the film memorized word-for-word. I will often let my eyes go a little weird and turn to my daughter and say, “Then, during the Third Reconciliation of the Last of the Meketrex Supplicants, they chose a new form for him, that of a giant Sloar! Many Shubs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of a Sloar that day, I can tell you!” To know me is to understand Ghostbusters on a molecular level. I owe that movie a lot.

  Anyhow, this was a fun way to waste my night. I encourage you to play along. Answer some or all of the questions Brett asks his guests. I highly recommend listening to a few episodes of “Films to Be Buried With” on your favorite podcatcher app. And if anyone out there knows Brett Goldstein, please let him know I’m available to guest on his podcast. Until next time—Thanks for reading.

--Sean

[spaceorphan18]

TDB Rewatch: The New York Arc

I was originally going to do a post for each episode - but you know what? I think I’ve talked about this particular part of the series more than any other part - and even though it’s been seven weeks since I’ve even seen an episode of Glee (!!) - I’m not entirely sure I have anything new to say about these episodes, so here we go with one big post for you. 

New New York

Is this still the best episode of the series?  Yes - I think it is.  The entire episode is completely watchable, the music is great, the Klaine stuff is great, everyone gets something interesting to do, Rachel is interesting again, Mercedes re-joins the cast, and even Artie has some funny lines.  This episode almost feels like a pilot of a spin-off series, and I’m a little sad we didn’t get to see more than this arc, because these characters still seem fresh and interesting - and this episode is clearly all setting up the status quo for living in New York.  

I’ve seen the episode so many times now that this one flew by, and while I’m always here for the amazing Klaine stuff - the nice thing is that watching the episode as a whole, I’m not bored with any of it.  I have no new meta to add to the piles of things I’ve already written and said on the podcast, but I’m glad this episode remains enjoyable even after a million rewatches.   

Btw - I still say they should have asked Adam Lambert to be a regular - he adds so much and I’m sad that this is his last appearance on the show. 

Also - I can tell it’s been a while since I’ve watched the show - Chris and Darren are really pretty.  Just thought I should remind you ;) 

///

Bash

So, while Opening Night might be my least favorite of the bunch, but I think as an episode Bash might be the weakest? And actually - I think it might have been better if the Kurt being bashed story line was a) more prominently in the episode or b) not in it at all.  It feels like it’s almost an after thought to Rachel’s (absurd) story - and there’s such a rich story with Kurt (and Blaine) that feels wholly untapped because it’s more about Rachel Berry and her feelings. :P  I do like the little bits of it that we did get, Kurt and Blaine are superb as they are in all of these episodes.  And I mean - it’s nice that Rachel gets yelled at twice for being a moron - even if the whole thing doesn’t hold together very well.  

Meanwhile, I’m not sure how much I have to say about Sam and Mercedes - I enjoy them as a couple, though I can’t say that I’m riveted by their story line. It is nice, though that Amber Riley gets a chance to shine since she’s been away from the show for so long.  I think the awkwardest thing about this episode, (besides Sam’s impressions) is the fact that that the two story lines don’t mesh well, and it feels like the episode starts off as one thing then pivots and does something else entirely in the second half.  

That said - the music is great, as always, everyone sounds really beautiful on all the Soundheim things.  And while I didn’t need two Mercedes solos - she is lovely as always.  

///

Tested

Who knew Artie having an STD would be such a fun episode.  Honestly, I think this is the best episode the show does about sex.  Yes, even over The First Time (even if I like TFT just a smidge more).  Each of the characters are in a unique situation, and come at sex in a different way - and it’s actually pretty cool the way the show handles it.  They’re not usually great with these kind of topics, but I really have no complaints about how they handled anything in this episode.  I especially like the fact that a) Mercedes gets to choose how she wants to deal with sex and b) they let Mercedes and Rachel be actual girl friends when it comes to a topic - again something the show doesn’t always handle the best.  Yes, for all the sex positive conversations in this episode.  

Also, the ‘I’m slut shaming you’ scene might be one of the funniest things the show ever did.  

The only one weighing this one down, and why it isn’t passing NNY by on my favorites list - is that the music just isn’t good.  I mean, all the songs fit the episode fine, and the performances are great, I just don’t like any of the songs.  

Also - Kurt is super extra in this episode - which really reinforces my headcanon that Kurt not getting regular sexy times is super grumpy. 

Anyway, I give kudos to the show for doing an episode that has some actual layers to it in all of its plot lines.  Usually, Glee’s pretty anivilish about everything, but there’s some actual nuance in this story - good job show.  It’s nice to be not spoon fed everything all the time.  

/// 

Opening Night

Well...  This remains the worst of the NYC Arc - and really, only because the stupid and a bit convoluted Sue plot.  Rachel’s arc is a bit silly too (really - I roll my eyes at the whole ‘oh no NYT reporter’ bit, especially when the dude just waxes praise on her like everyone else on the show) - but are some legitimately entertaining things going on during the Rachel side of things.  And I dare say the episode is a little underrated?  There are some good jokes and nice music, and it is exactly what you’d expect from Rachel’s first night (even if I still think Funny Girl should have been placed at the end of the show) and Rachel has been rather held back and used well during the NYC Arc so I don’t mind her spot light here.  

But man, the Sue stuff is tedious.  I kind of forget Will is apart of it (and did logic take some time off again? Because the Emma having a baby thing is...  let’s not get into it).  Sue actually has already arrived at her season 6 self - and even some of the early sequences with her kids aren’t bad, but there are really two scenes that drag this entire episode way, way down -- the date with Mario the restaurant guy, and the last five minutes with Mario the restaurant guy.  Oh my god - why is this the only thing they could think of to do with Sue?  I mean - everything about this plot line screams contractual obligation - needing to give Jane Lynch one episode during this 7.  But could they really not think of anything more interesting for her to do??  DId she really need a date so she and Rachel could sing that song together??  Ug - it is really frustrating that this takes up a third of the episode.  What a waste.  

But, I mean, as a whole, it’s not terrible in the way the worst of Glee is - and really, everything on the Rachel side (mostly) works for me.  It’s a good thing all that Sue/Mario stuff is pretty easily skipped.  

///

The Back-Up Plan

Hey! Another solid episode! It’s weird - the focusing only three story line lets the episode breathe - a lot - to the point it seems strange, lol.  But anyway...  

First there’s Rachel’s story - which I know people were annoyed that Rachel bails a month into Funny Girl, but idk - this seems like Rachel.  And this is the one and really only time she faces serious consequences for her actions.  It’s refreshing really.  Also - Jim Rash is a delight, and that audition scene is priceless.  

Meanwhile - Mercedes and Santana have a great story that I kind of wish there was more of.  Santana’s been gone for most of the arc so far, but I don’t mind her coming back - she’s rather civil and low key during these last few episodes, and it’s a bit refreshing, honestly.  Anyway - I like that pop business is treated with a little more realism than Broadway, as D’Shawn (Mercedes’s producer) seems to tell it like is.  But more so, I feel like there’s a genuine friendship between Mercedes and Santana and that’s pretty refreshing, too.  

And then there’s the June story line.  You know what? I really do not like June.  Sorry.  And I find it a little creepy she wants to mold Blaine into something of her own making.  I’m also... not sure what the purpose of this entire story was? Ah well...  At least we get some really lovely Klaine moments out of the whole thing.  

Bonus - the music in this episode is all pretty solid.  

///

Old Dog, New Tricks

You guys ever notice Artie’s eating dog biscuits in this? Weird things you notice when you watch the whole episode.  Anyway...

Hey - it’s that episode that Chris wrote.  And yeah, it’s a little awkward - in a - you can tell this is a new writer for TV kinda way not in a - this sucks kind of way.  I really wish Chris had stuck with TV writing, I think he showed some real promise, and writing for other shows would have been great experience.  Ah well.  It all just makes me miss Chris actually doing things that are not related to middle school fantasy novels.  

So, for the record, if you guys ever wonder who Chris is, seemingly, frustrated with? Watch this episode - and how he writes Rachel.  She’s been almost acting human in the rest of this arc, and in this episode, she really is back to being really awful.  At least multiple people get to tell her off again - it’s, again, refreshing.  How many times as she been told off during this arc? Not enough, but it’s been kind of nice when you string them all together.  

Anyway - this episode, as you’ve probably heard me say before, works pretty well.  Santana as a publicity is brilliant (and perhaps the best aspect of Chris’s writing), Sam and Mercedes relationship issues are handled rather maturely, Chris as Peter Pan is incredibly inspired, and the music is pretty solid (even if it’s not my personal favorite).  There’s even a sweet Klaine scene (though - I still maintain it was wise not to have Chris write too much Blaine).  The only thing that really doesn’t work to for me, and maybe we’re far enough away that I can say this honestly without feeling like there will be too much repercussion - I don’t think June Squibb is very good.  I mean, yeah - part of it is the awkwardness of the story itself.  But - Maggie just doesn’t work for me.  Sorry :(  

///

The Untitled Rachel Berry Project

I know a lot of people say that this episode feels like a finale for them.  And I kind of get that, I do. But, honestly, it feels more like a chapter break.  This episode is incredibly bittersweet - as if it knows (and it does) what’s coming in season 6.  But, also, it’s the ending of a show I kind of wish we had much longer, and I guess it feels a little sad to get to the end.  

The episode itself is solid - there are only really three plot lines here, and they all work pretty well.  The music might be the weakest element (I only like about half the songs in this one) but it’s got comedy and drama and warmth and sadness, and does make for a great season finale.  (It’s the best season finale the show did -- really, it is.)  And I guess - everyone ends up where they’re supposed to end up, and it works for me.  

I don’t really have a lot to say about it, or at least anything new to say.  It’s good, it’s solid, and while I’m super tired of watching TV all day, it’s a great ending to a really good chunk of TV.  

///

Final Thoughts: 

I am a little saddened that we didn’t get those two episodes that were taken from the season.  I feel like another couple of beats in the story lines would have worked wonders, and of course, selfishly, we’d have a little more of my favorite part of the story. 

Interestingly, though, I don’t know if this makes any sense - but I got the feeling the writers were always more comfortable writing stuff back at McKinley.  Like - they did this because they had the time, but they wouldn’t have been able to sustain an entire season writing it.  I know we could all come up with great stories, but I think it’s better that they were wrapping things up at this point, because the show feels like it’s headed towards an ending. 

I thought I’d get more insight about things watching them all in one sitting - but I’m not sure I did.  I think the show almost works better as a week to week so you can sit with each episode.  I think when strung together the arcs don’t seem as fluid as we have them in our heads now that we’ve spent years talking about each episode individually.  

Weirdly - the music of this arc is really hit and miss for me.  It’s interesting, to me, that a lot of times when the story is stronger, the music isn’t always as good.  A lot of other times, it’s vice versa.  The really, really good episodes can balance the two.  

I feel bad for Kevin McHale - who really had nothing to do other than be a giant STD.  

That said - one of the most refreshing things about this arc was the lack of toxic masculinity crap, as well as some of the best writing for the women ever on the show. 

I enjoyed the little bit of Santana and Brittany that we got - this was, like, the prefect amount of them.  

One of the downsides of everyone being paired off is that we didn’t get to see interesting mixed-up pairs - one of the draw backs of the show having such little time in New York.  

One thing that stood out to me, and god I hope I don’t get too much hate for this, is that Mercedes and Sam don’t really work... at least at this point.  Seeing the entire arc all together, it’s very apparent that while I don’t doubt how much they care for each other, they’re definitely in two different places in their lives.  And while I applaud the maturity that the relationship was handled with, it’s clear that they’re not ready to be in a long term relationship (yet).  

Rachel! Was bearable for most of the arc.  Yeah - there are still a lot of special snowflake Rachel moments.  But Lea Michele can do comedy well, and they let her do that.  

I didn’t find anything wrong or unusual about Chris’s acting choices.  **shrug**

Kurt’s mildly unhappy through a lot of these episodes - but much of that is at Rachel.  And really at his own place in life.  And the one episode where he’s super sexually frustrated.  

The Klaine stuff is delicious - and of course, discussed many other places that you don’t really need me to rehash it.  

It’s also unfinished.  

They should have made Adam Lambert a regular. 

Alright - bring it Season 6.  

[dangermousie]

Shows I am watching

AMERICAN

The Alienist - watched the first ep. Surprisingly good and I am a sucker for end-of-19th century setting. Whoever cast Teddy Roosevelt and wrote his scenes should never work again, however.

The Flash - OK, I watch this one because Mr. Mousie likes it. Frankly, I sort of tune it out and it’s a pleasant background decoration for me. I like all the characters but couldn’t tell you the latest plot for the life of me.

CHINESE

Unforgettable Lovers - period spies, double identities and love. Oh, so awesome. Or not, since even though it’s airing, VIKI WON’T HAVE THE VIDEOS UP FOR A MONTH WHAT THE FREAKING HELL!!!! It’s the only cdrama I’ve been looking forward to. 

KOREAN

The Black Knight - loved the first ep, restarting. Still have no freaking clue what the premise is. 

Deserving of the Name/Live Up to Your Name - OK, this one is from last year, but I am sort of in a kdrama slump, so I started it. Love Kim Nam Gil, love Kim Ah Joong (finally, an age appropriate leading lady - she’s 35 to his 36), a period time travel stuff, love everything. Biiiinge!!!!!

Hwayungi - finished first ep. Everybody loves it but I don’t. I don’t dislike it, either. It’s just a bit too outre and out there for me. I am not big on crazy supernatural comedy stuff. But I will give it a few more eps.

I Am Not a Robot - just started this and where has this been all my life? Messed up boy falls for a robot girl who is not a robot and Yoo Seung Ho and just I love this so so much. Expect lots of posts shortly.

TURKISH

Bizim Hikaye (Our Story) - I am sort of semi-watching it. The premise of a ramshackle lower-class family is charming and the show is funny, but I am not particularly invested and the fact that so far (I am three eps in), the show treats the male lead’s truly wack behavior as charming instead of “call the cops” is a little bizarre. 

Cesur ve Guzel (the Brave and the Beauty) - I feel like I have been watching it for a decade haha. I am on ep 28 out of 32 so I am gonna finish it soon, obviously. I am just watching it verrrrrrrrry slowly. I like it. or more specifically, I love the OTP but I have long ago lost any sense of coherency of the plot. 

Gunesin Kizlari (Gunes’ Daughters) - what do you get if you put Veronica Mars and 90210 in a blender, then set it in Turkey? This show. (I am sure there are some newer shows that would make a better comparison but I am uncool that way.) I am binging at an insane rate on adventures of two sisters (they have a younger one also but nothing exciting happens to her) and the delightful headcases they fall for (can you say “stepsibling love?” Or “he’s hot, has a motorcycle and is suicidial?” I knew you could!) and the crazy murderous/insane family their mom married into. It’s OK, they are a dedicated headcase/human bulldozer themselves so they can take anything on while keeping their hair awesome. 

Kurt Seyit ve Sura (Kurt Seyit and Shura) - Russia on the eve of the revolution. Turkish officer in love with Russian aristocrat. Best of all - it’s on netflix so I can watch while I commute. I watched a lot of it ages ago, but now am rewatching for the aforementioned commute reasons. It’s basically a romance novel in a show form, and who am I to complain about it?

Siyah Beyaz Ask (Black and White Love) - if you followed this tumblr for more than ten minutes, you know how insanely obsessed with this one I am. It’s the OTP to end all OTPs! Mob hitman x surgeon he marries because that way he doesn’t have to kill her after she saw mob stuff. I want to wrap SBA around myself like a cloak and then roll around in it. 

[theartofdreaming1]

Past Semester’s Reading List

The past few semesters at university I didn’t get to read as much as I used to, so I decided to do something about that (and what better incentive than to post a reading list on tumblr? This has already worked out regarding my ff-reading habits ;) Here is a list of all the books (and books only - no comic books and no fanfiction included) I have read from October ‘16 until the end of March ‘17:

For summaries and my thoughts on these books,

All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr:

Summary: “Marie-Laure lives with her father in Paris near the Museum of Natural History, where he works as the master of its thousands of locks. When she is six, Marie-Laure goes blind and her father builds a perfect miniature of their neighborhood so she can memorize it by touch and navigate her way home. When she is twelve, the Nazis occupy Paris and father and daughter flee to the walled citadel of Saint-Malo, where Marie-Laure’s reclusive great-uncle lives in a tall house by the sea. With them they carry what might be the museum’s most valuable and dangerous jewel. In a mining town in Germany, the orphan Werner grows up with his younger sister, enchanted by a crude radio they find. Werner becomes an expert at building and fixing these crucial new instruments, a talent that wins him a place at a brutal academy for Hitler Youth, then a special assignment to track the resistance. More and more aware of the human cost of his intelligence, Werner travels through the heart of the war and, finally, into Saint-Malo, where his story and Marie-Laure’s converge.”

Thoughts: There are so many books out there telling stories that take place during World War II. What really made this one stand out and catch my interest was the focus on science and love for science this particular novel has. The two main characters Marie and Werner are positively fascinated by it and Doerr really knows how to portray the beauty of science without becoming cheesy. Reading it gave me a ‘The Book Thief’-kinda feel (not only because of the same time the story is set in but also because of how the story is told). The frequent changes of perspectives and points in time throughout the book were sometimes a little difficult to follow but the story itself and the point when all these narratives finally come together definitely make up for that difficulty.

Animal Farm by George Orwells:

Summary: “'All animals are equal. But some animals are more equal than others.’ Mr Jones of Manor Farm is so lazy and drunken that one day he forgets to feed his livestock. The ensuing rebellion under the leadership of the pigs Napoleon and Snowball leads to the animals taking over the farm. Vowing to eliminate the terrible inequities of the farmyard, the renamed Animal Farm is organised to benefit all who walk on four legs. But as time passes, the ideals of the rebellion are corrupted, then forgotten. And something new and unexpected emerges... “

Thoughts: It was a very interesting read. And very, very frustrating (reading about the way Animal Farm was run, the use of propaganda, the sprouting of lies, changing rules to accomodate to the leader’s every whim; it made me very angry). Sadly enough, political stories like this seem to be forever relevant to our political scene.

A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams:

Summary: “Seconds before the Earth is demolished for a galactic freeway, Arthur Dent is saved by Ford Prefect, a researcher for the revised Guide. Together they stick out their thumbs to the stars and begin a wild journey through time and space.“

Thoughts: Very funny, bizarre, and entertaining :) I had watched the movie based on the book before, so I kinda knew what to expect, but it was hilarious nevertheless (though I have to admit that I was sometimes a little irritated when the book would go off on a tangent - but this deviations never lasted for too long so it wasn’t so bad ;)

Love Poems by Pablo Neruda:

Summary: what the title suggests ;)

Thoughts: I liked this one a lot. I’m not gonna pretend that I completely ‘got’ the meaning of every single line in every single poem, but the way Neruda uses words would move me every time (you can really feel the power he embeds into his words). I also loved that this book had the Spanish and English version of the poems side by side, so I could practice my Spanish skills a little :)

Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut:

Summary: “Prisoner of war, optometrist, time-traveller - these are the life roles of Billy Pilgrim, hero of this miraculously moving, bitter and funny story of innocence faced with apocalypse. Slaughterhouse 5 is one of the world's great anti-war books. Centring on the infamous fire-bombing of Dresden in the Second World War, Billy Pilgrim's odyssey through time reflects the journey of our own fractured lives as we search for meaning in what we fear most.”

Thoughts: The jumping between points of time can be a bit confusing at times and the parts dealing with the aliens from Tralfamaore need some getting used to, but over all I really enjoyed this book. It certainly has its fair share of sad and heartwrenching moments, but Vonnegut always manages to pull you out of these moments with his dry, dark humor, which helped me a lot in stomaching the WWII parts.

Drei Männer im Schnee (’Three men in the snow’) by Erich Kästner:

Summary: “Geheimrat Eduard Tobler, a man who owns factories, banks, warehouses and many millions, wins the second prize in a contest of his own company: a 10-day winter vacation at the Grandhotel Bruckbeuren. To the horror of his family, he decides to go on this trip as a poor man named “Schulze”.” The millionaire’s daughter calls the hotel behind her father’s back, warning the staff about the arrival of the fake poor man. Unfortunately, the Grandhotel’s personnel mistake the poor, currently unemployed, winner of the first prize for the undercover millionaire...

Thoughts: I have been reading this book every year for three years in a row now. It is fantastically funny, the dry wit of the main characters positively shining on every single page. Erich Kästner is a master of comedies of errors (he wrote the book “The Parent Trap” is based on) and this book is not an exception.

The Secret Diary of Lizzie Bennet by Bernie Su and Kate Rorick:

Summary: “Twenty‑four‑year‑old grad student Lizzie Bennet is saddled with student loan debt and still living at home along with her two sisters—beautiful Jane and reckless Lydia. When she records her reflections on life for her thesis project and posts them on YouTube, she has no idea The Lizzie Bennet Diaries will soon take on a life of their own, turning the Bennet sisters into internet celebrities seemingly overnight. When rich and handsome Bing Lee comes to town, along with his stuck‑up friend William Darcy, things really start to get interesting for the Bennets—and for Lizzie’s viewers. But not everything happens on‑screen. Lucky for us, Lizzie has a secret diary.“

Thoughts: Pride and Prejudice is my favorite Austen book. I loved The Lizzie Bennet Diaries as a modern adaptation of the material. And of course I loved this book. I loved that it gave me an excuse to watch the Lizzie Bennet Diaries again (not that I need an excuse to do that ;) and I loved that this book filled in some gaps the videos could never fully cover. Plus, it was great to be able to catch glimpses of Lizzie’s most intimate and private thoughts again, because even though the videos definitely let you know a lot of Lizzie’s opinions and impressions, it didn’t fully reach the level of insight the original was able to grant you. Different forms of media just come along with different advantages and disadvantages... and books just win when it comes to that :)

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by J.K. Rowling:

Summary: I don’t think Harry Potter needs to be summarized ;)

Thoughts: Well, I think it goes without saying that this book is magical ;) I had never read Harry Potter in English before, so that was a nice change (and I just adore these editions by Scholastic which totally are not the reason why I bought the American version instead of the British one) and despite having read these books sooo very often, it is always nice to return to passages and scenes that have been forgotten (for some insane reason): Neville fighting Crabbe and Goyle (’cause he’s “worth ten Malfoys”), Christmas at Hogwarts with the Weasleys (Fred and George constraining Percy with his own Weasley sweater, like with a straight jacket) and many more, small, but precious moments :)

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling:

Thoughts: Of course, the second book is as brilliant as the first.  Also, is there anything better than reading about the most horrible Valentine’s Day ever, courtesy of none other but Gilderoy Lockhart, full with angry-looking dwarfs dressed as cupids and one very embarrassing poem about “eyes as green as fresh pickled toad”? No, didn’t think so ;)

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling:

Thoughts: With the third one, more darkness is seeping into the books (not that the first two books, with special appearances by Voldemort, were ever completely free of any kind of darkness). We learn about the horrible dementors and about the Marauders (Map), see Harry spend time with Professor Lupin, wonder if Oliver Wood is trying to drown himself by taking a looong shower due to a lost Quidditch game and, a first, see a Hermione overwhelmed by her tons of school work. The books definitely matured with their characters (and readership) and it is positively awesome!

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling:

Thoughts: The change of atmosphere really hits you in that book. Death Eaters attacking after the Quidditch World Cup, the quite dangerous Triwizard Tournament and the employment of famous Auror ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody makes you aware that the wizarding world by far isn’t as safe as it used to be. Also, we finally meet Bill and Charlie Weasley and learn about other European magic schools! And Hermione gets involved with S.P.E.W. (house elf rights)! Plus, we get fun moments with the Weasleys picking up Harry from the Dursleys and Fred and George working on their Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes^^

Batman and Psychology: A Dark and Stormy Knight by Travis Langley:

Summary: “Batman is one of the most compelling and enduring characters to come from the Golden Age of Comics, and interest in his story has only increased through countless incarnations since his first appearance in 1939′s Detective Comics #27. Why does this superhero without superpowers fascinate us so much? Batman and Psychology examines the compley inner world of Batman and Bruce Wayne and the life and characters of Gotham City. What would Freud, Jung, and other professionals say about how childhood trauma spawned his life’s mission? Is Batman neurotic? Psychotic? Does he have PTSD, ODC, or any other mental illness? Why the mask, the bat, and the underage partner, Robin? What psychopathlogies lurk in the minds of supervillians like the Joker, the Riddler, Two-Face, and Catwoman? Are they really rogues and villians, or simply misunderstood victims of a heartless society? Do Batman and his foes depend on each other?”

Thoughts: The first time I read this book, I was in my last years of high school, trying to figure out what to do afterwards. This book and the psychology course I had been taking definitely factored into my decision to study psychology. It was great rereading it again now while I’m studying the very same subject (for one, because it is very interestingly and funnily written and two, because it was a cool feeling to read about certain psychological concepts and theories and be like “oh yeah, of course, that one” - it’s always nice to have some confirmation that you actually have learned something over the years ;)

Death Comes to Pemberley by P.D. James:

Summary: “The year is 1803, and Mark Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet have been married for six years. There are now two handsome and healthy sons in the nursery, Elizabeth's beloved sister Jane and her husband Bingley live nearby and the orderly world of Pemberley seems unassailable. But all this is threatened when, on the eve of the annual autumn ball, the guests are preparing to retire for the night when a chaise appears, rocking down the path from Pemberley's wild woodland. As it pulls up, Lydia Wickham - Elizabeth Bennet's younger, unreliable sister - stumbles out screaming that her husband has been murdered.”

Thoughts: And again, a book that is somewhat based on my favorite Austen book ^^ As a murder mystery, this book was quite different from the Pride and Prejudice I know and love (and from the genre I usually read)... But despite that, I thought it was an interesting read. It felt less sparkly and bright, but I liked that the reader gets more of an insight to Darcy’s view on the things happening and it was just fun and interesting to revisit Pemberly under such different circumstances.

The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde:

Summary: “In this classic 19th century comedy of manners, Jack Worthing and Algernon Moncrief masquerade under the name of Earnest in order to win the love of Gwendolyn and Cecily.”

Thoughts: I still haven’t watched the movie (because I didn’t want to spoil myself), so I didn’t know what to expect. I had only read ‘The Picture of Dorian Gray’ by Wilde before and I was quite glad that ‘The Importance of Being Earnest’ was very different from that reading experience (I still think that the plot of that book was very cool and interesting but the seemingly endless description of everything nearly drove me mad). The characters are as wacky and witty as they come and the plot is just hilariously convenient and strange. Very entertaining ^^

Fallout (Lois Lane) by Gwenda Bond:

Summary: “... a contemporary reimagining of teenage Lois Lane. She and her family have lived all over, but now they’re in Metrolpolis for good, and Lois is determined to stay quiet. Fit in. Maybe make a friend. As soon as she walks into her new high school, though, she can see it won’t be easy. A group known as the Warheads is making life miserable for another girl at school. They’re messing with her mind somehow, via the high-tech immersive video game they all play. Not cool. Armed with her wit and her new snazzy job as a reporter, Lois has her sights set on solving the mystery. But even she needs help sometimes. Thank goodness for her maybe-more-than-a-friend, someone she knows only by his screen name, SmallvilleGuy...”

Thoughts: Oh man... I love this book soo much! The first time I got it, I read through it in a day! And now, while I was waiting for the second volume to finally be in stock again on amazon (wanting to read English/American books in Germany can be such a bother sometimes), I read it once more (and I just had bought it in February ^^;) It is so much fun: you get an awesome Lois who won’t let up until she gets her story and, more importantly, does what’s right. It’s also cool to get a glimpse of her family life as well as her chat conversations with SmallvilleGuy ;) Plus, the supporting characters are very interesting, too!

Double Down (Lois Lane) by Gwenda Bond:

Summary: “Lois Lane has settled in to her new school. She has friends, for maybe the first time in her life. She has a job that challenges her. And her realtionship... or whatever it is... is growing with SmallvilleGuy, her online ,aybe-more-than-a-friend. But when her friend Maddy’s twin collapses in a part of town she never should’ve been in, Lois finds herself emboiled in a dangerous mystery that pairs science and greed, politics and revenge, family and enemies...”

Thoughts: So much fun to get to revisit the characters again after a few weeks (in and outside the book)! I really enjoyed how the reader and Lois learn more and more about the members of the Scoop Team and the focus of this book on the sister-relationship between Maddie and Melody and Lois and Lucy. Also, the stakes were even higher in this book (taking on a mob boss? Lois really doesn’t know when to quit which is why we love her), though this time around Lois was much more comfortable and willing to involve her new friends (she is learning how to do the friends thing after all :) I can’t wait for the third book to be published!

Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie:

Summary: “Peter Pan and Tinkerbell lead the three Darling children over the rooftops of London and away to Neverland - the island where the lost boys play. Magic and mischief is in the air but if villainous Captain Hook has his way, before long someone will be swimming with the crocodiles...“

Thoughts: It was certainly interesting to finally read this book and learn the ‘real’ story behind Peter Pan (not just the version I had in my head due to the cassette of the Disney movie version I used to listen to as a child). I found it quite trying to read though (maybe because English isn’t my mother tongue) and I couldn’t really connect with any of the characters (maybe because I’m too old ;) I will probably read this book again some day and maybe I will find it easier and more fun to read then - but not in the near future ^^;

If you’d like to know more about these books (and/or my thoughts about them) feel free to message me at any time! :)

The summaries are from the back of the books or amazon pages (I translated the summary of ‘Drei Männer im Schnee’  and added two sentences of my own, so I’m sorry for any mistakes that might’ve crept in).

[republicstandard]

Top Ten Movies You Couldn’t Make Today: 1990's Edition

As John Q's exploration of movies from the 1980s which deserve the Fahrenheit 451 treatment was so popular, we locked him in a dark room with a Netflix account and his weekly allowance of absinthe until he made another glorious slice of borderline-illegal viral content. The kids love lists, and we need the clicks! Thanks John, hope your time in rehab goes well. Here are 10 movies from the 90's that would never be made in our modern, progressive utopia.

10. The Lion King (1994)

As an allegory for mass Third World immigration and the consequent environmental degradation, cultural subversion, tyrannical Marxism, and ultimately population replacement, the film hits way too close to home. It also reinforces gender expectations via the patriarchal right of succession and is, in its portrayal of both the hyenas and Rafiki the mandrill, undoubtedly racist. Despite the setting in Africa, the source material is Shakespearean, and as a Dead White Male, this is strictly forbidden. What, Alice Walker isn’t good enough for you bigots?

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9. Glengarry Glen Ross (1992)

An all-(white) male ensemble cast? Oh honey, you’re dreaming! Not today, not ever again (unless it’s gay porn, to borrow the joke from Zack and Miri). As an added “bonus,” the film is decidedly anti-egalitarian in orientation, and is replete with a number of homophobic slurs. Deeply troubling stuff, here, folks.

8. Man of the House (1995)

Easily one of the most culturally appropriative scenes of all time takes place about mid-way through the film in the Boy Scouts-equivalent meeting where the entirely white (possibly minus one ethnically-ambiguous pair) male cast is wearing all manner of headdresses and war paint imitating Amerindians. To add insult to injury, the father-son duos are in a circle and are practicing a kind of “Native American” initiation rite by way of introduction, called the “Naming Ceremony.” I want to unpack how problematic this scene is further, but “I can’t even.”

7. Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)

The entire premise of the film is built on the decision of a man so desperate to spend time with his children that he enlists his fabulous brother to turn him into a nanny named Mrs. Doubtfire. The problem is that the humor of the film derives almost exclusively from the Robin Williams’s gender-bending and the absurdity of it all, thus, the humor must come at the expense of the Other; Williams’s character’s son completely freaks out after seeing Doubtfire/his dad urinating while standing: “He’s a she, she’s a he, she’s a he-she!” The children quickly turn against Doubtfire. Not very open-minded if you ask me. As Nico Lang wrote for The Daily Dot:

If Mrs. Doubtfire’s casual transphobia is a product of its era, so is its comedy… Mrs. Doubtfire also debuted the exact same month as The Crying Game, another AMPAS favorite that relied on the inherent titillation of transgender bodies…A culture that continues to laugh at “men in dresses” will continue to invalidate the struggles that actual transgender people go through every day, both in and out of the workplace. If our comedy is stuck in the ’90s, our treatment of LGBT people will be, too…What plays well in 1992 reads very differently today. Mrs. Doubtfire was a product of the gender politics of its era, a cultural panic about divorce and men’s declining roles in the home, as well as a deep insecurity about masculinity…Sally Field’s “Mean Mom” is the real threat. Because she wears the pants in the family, Williams’ character has to prove his worth by wearing a dress.

Commenter Gegenny on Reddit’s “r/asktransgender” forum doesn’t necessarily see the film as transphobic so much as nakedly misogynistic, declaring:

It is less transphobic so much as misogynistic. Man is willing to endure the most humiliating thing possible to see his kids, so naturally that means posing as a woman. The aspects of that humiliation are then played for laughs.

The reactions to the film are mixed; some consider it to be transphobic, others, as the quote above exemplifies, consider it “just” misogynistic, and still others say that it is transvestite-phobic. Whichever (or all of the above) the film is, it is definitely hurtful and hateful and should never have been made. As a final note, one could definitely read the “drive-by fruiting” as having homophobic undertones. A very problematic film any way you slice it.

6. Kindergarten Cop (1990)

More transphobia here. One of the most appalling scenes in all of cinema is when young Joseph, at only 27 months old says, seemingly innocently enough, “Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina!” After being triggered by this shocking ignorance of gender as a social construct when I re-watched the film for the purposes of this article, I was literally shaking. What were they teaching kids in school back then?

5. Aladdin (1992)

According to The Washington Post, 90% of the lines in the movie go to male characters. For Christine-Marie Liwag Dixon: Nearly a decade after slave Leia appeared in Star Wars: The Return of the Jedi, Princess Jasmine faced similar circumstances in Aladdin. The depiction was no less creepy and no less sexualized, but is made worse by the fact that Aladdin is supposed to be a kid’s movie…To see Jasmine forced into subservience by the evil Jafar is nauseating. It’s not really surprising that Jafar treats women badly, but this scene goes a little too far for comfort in a children’s film, especially after Jasmine uses her feminine wiles to distract Jafar before Aladdin saves the day. Watching the sham seduction take place is gross, but is even more disturbing when you remember how many kids watched this scene without understanding just how messed up it is.

Furthermore, the film shows Arabic society (and Islam by extension given the source material) in a bad light as intractably patriarchal—this is extremely problematic as we all know that anything less than the deification of brown folks is racism, and anything less than hosannas to the heavens for Islam is “Islamophobic,” for it is well-established that Islam is enriching, empowering, peaceful, and tolerant.

(Let us not even get into how even the lyrics to the intro song were considered too racist, and were changed. Tsch, maybe we had 9/11 coming after all -Ed.)

4. Starship Troopers (1997)

Despite director Paul Verhoeven’s attempt to satirize the source material, Robert Heinlein’s novel is just too strong and the satire falls flat, instead making fascism look way too appealing. In fact, the entire future society was only made possible by the reclamation of Western civilization from the near-abyss of “democracy”; one may choose to remain a civilian with all attendant rights and privileges, but no vote and no ability to stand for public office and certain other professions, or one may earn the franchise through military service for the Federation at the potential cost of their lives. Furthermore, the protagonist of the novel, Juan Rico, is Filipino, whereas Verhoeven intentionally “white-washed” Rico and his friends and family for the film to highlight the overt “Nazism” of Heinlein’s creation. The problem is that, beyond betraying Heinlein’s point that race was largely irrelevant in the Federation (its military predicated exclusively on merit), the actors are all extremely good-looking, and their attractiveness only makes saving humanity from the Bugs while exercising their civic duty that much more, well, attractive.

3. Hocus Pocus (1993)

From the hook noses to the child sacrifices, the anti-Semitic overtones in this film are extremely problematic. In the opening scene, the local white populace comes with pitchforks to execute the three witches for stealing their children and using them in their rituals, which evokes uncomfortable images of an Eastern European pogrom. For context, Ron Unz explains:

It appears that a considerable number of Ashkenazi Jews traditionally regarded Christian blood as having powerful magical properties and considered it a very valuable component of certain important ritual observances at particular religious holidays. Obviously, obtaining such blood in large amounts was fraught with considerable risk, which greatly enhanced its monetary value, and the trade in the vials of this commodity seems to have been widely practiced.

Additionally, according to Sheikh Khaled Al-Mughrabi, the Jews were killed by the Nazis because they were kidnapping Christian children to use their blood to make matzah.

2. Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)

The 90s were probably our most transphobic decade. Elena Nicolaou writes:

Trans women in ‘90s comedies like Ace Ventura were often law-breakers who deliberately hid their trans identities, as Meredith Talusan points out in a Buzzfeed article. Consequently, “the exposure of these women becomes synonymous with ‘catching’ them; there’s no meaningful difference made between finding out a woman is trans and discovering that she’s a criminal.”

When Ace Ventura (Jim Carrey) finds out that he’s kissed a man dressed as a woman, who also happens to be the villain, he has what Nicolaou describes as “an outrageously transphobic reaction.” He vomits in the shower and sets his clothes on fire. R. Kurt Osenlund recaps:

At the time of this movie’s release, Ace’s revelation was played entirely for laughs, but seen today, it’s basically horrifying. “Finkle is Einhorn!” Ace declares to himself. “Einhorn is a man!” With that, Ace, remembering that Einhorn pinned him on her desk and gave him sloppy kisses, goes into a violent burst of queer panic, purging in the toilet, loading his mouth with toothpaste, taking a plunger to his face, purging some more, burning his clothes, and finally crying naked in the shower, all to the tune of Boy George’s “The Crying Game.” Spying the pre-op trans woman the next day, Ace, still loading his mouth with chewing gum as a disinfectant, notes that “the gun” that was “digging into [his] hip” during the pair’s make-out session was in fact a penis, and he shudders madly at the thought.

The next day, as Nicolaou recaps, “He stages a big sex ‘reveal’ in which he pulls down the character’s pants.” In a thoroughly humiliating transphobic vaudeville show, returning to Osenlund:

Einhorn stands there on display, until, thanks to a tip-off from Marino, Ace grabs his culprit and spins her around, revealing the vivid bulge of a dick and balls that Einhorn had tucked back. Just then, “The Crying Game” picks back up on the soundtrack, and all the males on site begin spitting and cleaning out their mouths, as they too have all locked lips with a woman packing a cock. There is no redemption for Einhorn. She’s knocked into the water and left humiliated all over again—a pathetic loser who deserves to suffer not just for kidnapping, but for the gross crimes of mental instability, sexual deviance, and anatomical otherness.

If one thing is certain, it is that trans people should be above any and all reproach, even if they are sociopathic criminals. Which leads me to my final film:

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1. The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

As perhaps the mother of all transphobic films, the portrayal of transgendereds in The Silence of the Lambs as lethality incarnate probably set the LGBTQI+’s agenda to invert heteronormativity-as-deviant back a good decade. As author Mey wrote for Autostraddle:

Perhaps the most famous instance of a trans woman being used to scare audiences is The Silence of the Lambs. When we see serial killer Buffalo Bill in their most famous scene, it is meant to be one of the most jarring and disturbing moments of the film. We see someone who is presented to us as a man tucking their penis between their legs, wearing a wig made from a woman’s scalp, swaying and dancing to music. Growing up, I remember many times hearing that this was one of the strangest and creepiest scenes in modern film. This action of putting on makeup and a wig, tucking and trying to look as beautiful and feminine as you can is something that a lot of us trans women can relate to. It’s something that a lot of us trans women have done. And here it is being presented as the epitome of horror.

Mey is right—the perfectly benign activity of murdering women in order to skin and scalp them and literally “wear” them is presented here as deviant and horrific.

It’s something a lot of us trans-womyn have done.

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