#Kurt isn’t angry about it btw he knows I love him still

[jocelynships]

Anyways I hope if y’all followed me for an F/O that wasn’t Kurt or D.raxum I apologize bc let’s be honest I very VERY rarely talk about my other F/Os ever.

[forabeatofadrum]

I’d cry a river just for you (11/24)

Notes: You know, I just promoted this fic in my Snowbaz fic l'amor che move (il sole e l'altre stelle), so I’m going to do the same thing here for no other reason than the fact that I love consistency. If you’re a Snowbaz fan, come on over! Also, the formatting of text messages is nicer on AO3.

AO3

--

DEMONSTRATE - Everybody’s Talking About Jamie

2020

Me: this is Blaine I changed my number when I moved to the Philippines a few years back

Me: but yeah, no more blocking

Blaine groans. Should he bring that up? He’s about to delete the message when he sees that Kurt’s typing.

Kurt: hello

Well, that isn’t the worst reaction that could’ve happened, but it also isn’t the best.

Me: I still have your coat btw

Bella’s returning Blaine’s coat. She’s already given him hell for ditching her and Adeola. But then Blaine told Bella why he left and she was very understanding and weirdly enthusiastic.

Kurt: oh, no worries! It wasn’t my coat

Me: … did you steal someone’s coat???

Kurt: lol it’s Yannick’s but I broke up with him and then I stole his coat when he got angry so no worries

Blaine’s eyes widen. That is a lot of information in one single message.

Kurt: feel free to burn it

Kurt: actually, no, think of the environment!!!

Me: sorry to hear about Yannick

Kurt: don’t be. It’s fine.

--

How do you text your former best friend who you’re possibly still in love with?

Blaine’s lying on his couch, listening to music. He’s wondering what to do with all of this. Honestly, Blaine should’ve expected this weirdness and confusion. He can’t look inside Kurt’s head, but he assumes that Kurt’s just as torn up about the situation as he is.

He replays yesterday’s conversation.

They’ve missed each other. Blaine made Kurt laugh over a shared memory. Kurt doesn’t want to be friends again.

Kurt doesn’t want to be friends again.

Kurt doesn’t want to be friends again.

Blaine closes his eyes, but he can feel the tears prickling. His heart feels heavy. It’s been quite some time since he’s last cried over his broken friendship. He has. He’s cried a lot. It got easier over the years, but the pain and regret never left. Losing Kurt was the most painful break-up he’s ever experienced. People don’t talk about how friends can break your heart.

Ex-friendship is so weird. It’s a rollercoaster. Blaine blocked Kurt. Blaine still thinks of him on his birthday. Kurt made him feel like crap. Random videos on the internet make Blaine want to show them to him. Their last two years of friendship were terrible. Blaine never wanted to lose him. Blaine’s tried to move the fuck away from him. Kurt’s part of some of the best memories of Blaine’s life.

This damn song from Everybody’s Talking About Jamie isn’t helping. The Wall In My Head is a brilliant number, but it only makes Blaine cry more.

And don't fall, I'm finding my feet There's shoes to be filled But this wall, is harder to beat When it's one you helped build

It’s true that Blaine hurt Kurt. Blaine will always feel remorse for how he acted in the last two years, but Kurt wasn’t a saint either and he knows that. Blaine felt like crap when they were friends.

Maybe Kurt’s right. They shouldn’t be friends anymore. They weren’t good for each other. Kurt made it pretty clear in his final twenty minutes long voice message. He ditched Blaine, because he knew he had to choose for himself.

--

Blaine, Bella and Adeola are walking through the Koopgoot, doing some Christmas shopping. The three of them are staying in Rotterdam for the holidays, but they’re all sending presents home. Blaine’s actually very happy that he’s not going to be alone.

Once again, he’s so happy that he got paired with Bella during the Eurekaweek. And Adeola’s really nice too.

“We need to go there!” Bella says excitedly and she points towards the KKEC. It’s filled with typical gifts and, as they say here, hebbedingetjes. There a lot of plush cats in the shop window.

Blaine walks around and he laughs when he sees a rainbow coloured bar of soap, called the Gay Bar. He’s about to pick one up when someone beats him to it.

“Well, we keep running into each other,” Kurt says.

Blaine shrugs casually, as if he didn’t spend this morning crying over this person.

“Great minds think alike,” he says effortlessly.

“You’re also shopping for Christmas presents?” Kurt asks, “Or late Sinterklaas?”

Blaine never really got the hang of this Dutch tradition, so he shakes his head. Sinterklaas sounds cool. He’ll be in the country for a couple of more years, so he has time to learn.

“Christmas.”

“Right,” Kurt says with a nod. Then he raises an eyebrow. “Nice coat.”

Blaine can feel himself turn red. He’s wearing Yannick’s coat. It was an accident. One moment, he was crying in his living room, the next he was rushing downstairs because Bella and Adeola had arrived. He picked up the first coat without looking and he didn’t realise his mistake until they passed the Etos.

“Sorry about Yannick,” Blaine says lamely.

“I told you that it’s fine,” Kurt snaps.

Blaine instinctively flinches.

Kurt’s face falls. “Shit. I- fuck, I didn’t… Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not.”

“No. It’s not,” Blaine begrudgingly agrees.

“I’m also sorry. For yesterday,” Kurt says, sounding nervous.

“You mean when you said that you didn’t want to be friends again, and then you just walked away?” Blaine mutters. He needs to calm down.

“Yes. That. I should’ve at least demonstrated why I said that. It was kind of shitty to just dump that on you.”

“I understand why you said it,” Blaine says sadly. This truly is a rollercoaster. His emotional state goes between anger, sadness, remorse and hope in less than twenty-four hours. “You explained it seven years ago.”

“I never heard anything back.”

“I didn’t think you’d want to hear anything from me.”

“… Fair. What are your Christmas plans?” Blaine adds hastily, just trying to move away from this. He can do friendly chit-chat, but not a deep dive into the past, especially in the middle of the crowded KKEC.

Kurt clearly needs some time to switch between topics, but then he smiles warmly. “Dad and Carole are flying to Rotterdam.”

And Blaine’s smiles mirrors Kurt’s. The Hummel-Hudsons. God, he misses them as well. The thought of seeing them again makes him feel warm with affection.

“You?”

“Staying here. I can’t really split myself in two, with one half being with my mom and the other with my dad and Cooper. But Bella is staying too.”

At the mention of her name, Bella’s next to Blaine. She’s holding Adeola’s hand.

“Ready to go? We need to go back to Lush, it’s an emergency!” Bella says happily, unaware of what she’s just interrupted.

Or so it seems.

She gives Blaine a quick wink. Blaine doesn’t understand what she’s trying to say. At that same time, a woman throws an arm around Kurt.

“Ready?” she says. Blaine doesn’t know her, but Bella and Blaine exchange their ‘yes, another Asian!’ look. Kurt sees them looking.

“Oh, Blaine, this is Femke, my roommate. Femke, this is…” Kurt trails off. The woman, Femke, gives him a curious look. “And old friend.”

He’s not wrong.

--

Honestly, life is full of fucking surprises, because he didn’t plan on having drinks with Bella, Adeola, Femke and Kurt. He doesn’t even fucking know this Femke, but she’s talking everyone’s ears off and Adeola loves it. Femke’s Dutch and she’s moved here from the south and she’s very appalled to hear that most of them haven’t seen a lot of this country yet.

“We need to change this!” Femke says. Her Dutch accent is kind of grating. “How about a trip to, I don’t know, Maastricht? Nijmegen?”

“That would be amazing,” Adeola says excitedly, before anyone can say anything else. She turns to Bella. “Right, babe?”

Bella gives them a thumbs up.

“Kurt, come on!” she shakes Kurt, who laughs.

“Sure.”

Then everyone turns to Blaine.

“You’re in?” Femke asks.

Blaine quickly glares at Kurt. Then to Bella, who gives an encouraging look.

“Sure. Why not?”

[spaceorphan18]

Kurt Hummel’s Tears: A Study

Because I wanted to know just how many times it actually happened - mostly because after wrapping up reading a certain long fanfic, if I have to read the phrase ‘and Kurt’s about to burst into tears’ one more time, I’m gonna lose it. 

I’m not against Kurt crying - him being emotional is a thing, and it’s good to see men be in touch with their emotional side.  But I just don’t see Kurt as fragile, and always on the way to breaking down.  So I wanted to dig in and do some research.  Am I just forgetting things? Was he really on the verge of tears always? Let’s find out. 

Season 1

Acafellas 1x03

Dude’s coming out to his newfound bff - of course that’s going to get emotiona. 

Preggers 1x04

Dude just came out to his dad - this seems a pretty normal to get emotional, too.  

The Rhodes Not Taken 1x05

Kurt’s moved by the amazingness of Kristin Chenoweth - aren’t we all? Fun fact - this is actually Chris being emotionally moved.  Kiddo just met one of his idols, of course tears. 

Wheels 1x09

Getting emotional while singing! A trend with everyone really.  This is during the whole diva-off, which is more about personal stakes than it is about dueling with Rachel. 

(I’d also like to note there is some angsty moments in both Ballad and Hairography, but nothing that lends itself to actual tears.) 

Home 1x16

Oh... Home is a heavy episode for all the crying.  I mean, he’s struggling with his relationship with his father, his crush on Finn, and just changes.  

[Btw - A House is Not a Home almost gets to tears, but not quite...]

/

Of course the epitome of all Kurt crying shots is in this episode.  Ah the angst - it’s so good and heartbreaking here.  

Laryngitis 1x18

Hey, another scene about connecting with his dad.  I’m beginning to see a theme.  

Theatricality 1x20

Your crush just rejects you but your dad finally accepts you.  That’s a whole ton of emotional stuff right there.  

Journey to Regionals 1x22

This slightly moves to the edge of tears as they sing about Glee club ending.

Episode Tally 8/22 - Home being the most cry scenes with 2-1/2 actual scenes, and a whole lot of angsty emotion all the way through.

Season 1 Observations:  Kurt’s in touch with his emotions, but really only when it effects his story directly.  It’s understandable - giving his strained relationship with his dad, his grappling with his sexuality, and having a crush on a straight guy end up in heartbreak.  Most of the times he cries he’s alone, or with someone he trusts.  He does get emotional while singing, too, but most of that doesn’t usually lead to full on crying.  He’s also deeply moved by Mercedes’s voice - but who isn’t?

Notable times he doesn’t cry: When being bulled (he gets angry), when having confrontations in general, and when other people (other than Mercedes) are singing emotionally.

Season 2

Grilled Cheesus 2x03

Kurt’s dad almost dies - so Kurt’s crying in most of the scenes.  I’d say that makes sense. 

/

/

/

Never Been Kissed 2x06

Both scenes have to do with being emotional over being physically and sexually assaulted, combined with the depression, worry for his father, and finding a place and a person who is actually listening.  

/

Furt 2x08

Karofsky’s basically threatened his life at this point, I’d probably start crying, too. 

/

His dad gets remarried and his first love is singing a song to him - it’s a happiness he always wanted - these are happy tears!

/

Just when Kurt finds a little piece of happiness - the bullying gets so extreme that Kurt needs to leave and he’s saying goodbye to people he’s gotten close to.  Goodbyes under stressful circumstances are hard. 

Original Song 2x16

His pet bird died.  C’mon.  ;)

Born This Way 2x18

The nightmare that Karofsky is over and he gets to go back to where he feels his home is at even though he’ll be leaving his boyfriend behind - and said bf is singing an angsty song.  More changes mean more emotion. 

Prom Queen 2x20

Just when he thought he was safe to be free and who he is, the entire school pranks him in a mean-hearted way.  I’d say that calls for tears. 

Funeral 2x21

Like in Rhodes Not Taken, Kurt tears up for comedic effect when Rachel sings. 

/

Kurt tears up a little during Jean’s funeral.  Death his hard, Kurt’s experienced that a lot, and he’s not afraid of those sad emotions. 

New York 2x22

Kurt’s finally realized that his dreams could come true if he really wants them to.  He’s not stuck in the dark world that is Lima.  

Episode Tally 8/21 (Probably shouldn’t count the one he’s not in). Grilled Cheesus has by far the highest count (probably of the series), followed, interestingly, but Furt. 

Season 2 Observations: A lot of Kurt’s break downs come from the depression he’s experiencing mainly from the bullying, but also still feeling like he doesn’t fit in with those around him.  Again - the crying moments happen mainly in Kurt centric episodes, and more so at the beginning of the season.  Interestingly, after he meets Blaine, with the exception of in Prom Queen, any teary-eyed scenes are more from the over flower of intense emotional moments not full on break downs, and they’re also fewer and far between.  

Notable times he doesn’t cry: Duets! This might win for an episode full of maybe breakdowns - but Kurt’s gone to a depressive state beyond crying, so he just stares sadly out into the distance.  

Any time it has to do with sex or even romance.  

When other people are singing, or even when emotional things are going on with other people.  

Season 3

Purple Piano Project 3x01

I mean, he just got his dreams dashed and his ego put in check, but compared to season 1 and 2, he’s actually rather cheery in this episode.  

I Kissed a Girl 3x07

I mean, he lost the election and nearly got expelled for something he didn’t do.  Fair. 

Michael 3x11

So he’s understandably upset after the stuff with Blaine goes down, but no actual tears. 

He does cry, happy cry, when he gets his NYADA letter though.  

Heart 3x13

I feel like this gets a half point.  He’s all teared up that Blaine isn’t around for Valentine’s day, but it doesn’t get very far. 

On My Way 3x14

This episode almost stands out because Kurt really hasn’t been crying this season, and now he’s very sad about everything that’s going on with Karofsky.  And while I feel like it’s reasonable to cry at this stuff, the crying scenes here almost feel like...exploitation? Probably because for the most part, Kurt’s big emotional crying scenes have had to do with something that’s happened to him, not with someone else.  Huh.  Interesting.

But unlike early season two where he cries though some of the episodes, there are only two real scenes here.  

/

Dance With Somebody 3x17

So, I’m going to give this episode Heart’s other half point, because Kurt... doesn’t really cry in this episode? He gets emotionally upset a few times, but with the exception of this very last scene with Blaine, Kurt doesn’t get more than a little glassy eyed. 

Goodbye 3x22

It’s graduation, and he’s leaving this place and things are changing, and that’s emotional, but his tears are for leaving behind the place, and not necessarily for everyone else.  

/

Episode Tally 5/22 [Giving a half point to both Heart and Dance With Somebody]  On My Way wins for the most tear-y eyed Kurt, and there are only two episodes of the season with full on breakdowns.  

Season 3 Observations: Kurt’s relationship with emotions and crying change.  He’s not deeply depressed the way he was in season 1 and early season 2.  He gets sad, but it isn’t as overly emotional as it was in the earlier seasons.  

Notable times he doesn’t cry:= The First Time - there’s an emotional twirl there, but no actual tears.  In fact, fighting with Blaine in general doesn’t get him to a crying place.  

When he doesn’t get into NYADA - he kinda just look sadly at the paper.  

Kurt’s still not getting emotional at other people’s issues (the one exception being Karofsky - but i’d argue that ties in with some of his own past trauma.)

Season 4

The Break Up 4x04

I mean, his boyfriend cheats on him.  Again, fair.  This is the first time that it’s a really ugly cry. 

Glease 4x06

I’ll give this one a half point.  Kurt’s trying really hard not to cry over his break up. 

Thanksgiving 4x08

After a really heavy, emotional relationship conversation.  It’s more like an emotional release than being upset over anything.  

Swan Song 4x09

Allowing himself to be emotionally caught up in the song. 

And finally getting a win after so much heartache.

Girls and Boys on Film 4x15

Interestingly, this is his first full on break down since The Break Up - and after half a season of trying hard to keep his emotions in check - he’s allowing himself to feel his pain again. 

Wonderful 4x21

Tears of happiness that his dad isn’t going to die of cancer

All or Nothing 4x22

I mean - I feel like at this point, once a season, Kurt cries for comedic effect.  This is one of those times. Only the cut out Santana’s line that made it funny.  Anyway - Kurt getting ‘emotional’ at Blaine’s song.  This gets a half point.  

Episode Tally 6/19.  No surprises that The Break Up is the most amount of crying going on.  

Season 4 Observations: Season 4 has some weird/interesting things going on in that Kurt doesn’t have a lot of screen time, and since Kurt only cries when it’s tied directly to his story, and since his story is primarily about his break up, he’s much sadder over the course of the season.  But he’s not necessarily always crying.   He is most definitely mourning his relationship - and of course tears, but it’s not the deep depression of the early seasons.  But afterwards, a lot of time is spent not dealing with his emotions and holding things back.  

Notable times he doesn’t cry: Actually leaving Lima.  Learning his dad has cancer.  Over anything to do with Rachel drama.  Still not crying over other people’s sadness.  

Season 5

Love, Love, Love 5x01

His bf just asked him to marry him.  I mean fair. 

The Quarterback 5x03

His brother died.  This gets ugly crying, too.   Interestingly, while Kurt is upset throughout this whole episode, he only really breaks down twice.  And the major break down is in the privacy of his own home.

/

Episode Tally 2/20 - The Quarterback is the only episode of the season that he full on cries.  Well then, I guess we know what season Kurt’s the least emotionally distraught.  

Season 5 Observations: I wouldn’t call this Kurt’s happiest season (they all have moments of a lot of happiness, too!) but this is by far the least amount of times overly emotional.  And while there’s a lot of in story reasons for that, I think it should be taken into account that due to the circumstances of Finn’s (and Cory’s) death, the writers steered away from sadder story lines. 

Notable times Kurt doesn’t cry - Any post-Quarterback conversations about Finn.  Any of the times he and Blaine get in arguments.  Chris didn’t write himself a crying scene. 

Season 6

Loser Like Me 6x01

Learning that it was kinda stupid to break up your boyfriend when you could have talked it out. 

/

/

Jagged Little Tapestry 6x03

Pretty much the same reason as episode 6x01

A Wedding 6x08

I mean, this gets a half point - he’s misty eyed that he gets to marry, not only at all, but the man he loves.  It’s a wedding, c’mon. 

Dreams Come True 6x13

So, Will’s singing to them all - but this is more sadness from Chris, since this is the last scene shot in the entire series.  This also gets a half point.  

Episode Tally 3/13 [Half points for A Wedding and Dreams Come True]  Loser Like Me is a ton of crying, but then Kurt kinda puts himself together and deals with it.  

Season 6 Observations: The interesting thing here is that - Kurt’s still an emotional guy, and feels things deeply, but like season 5 (?), he’s also more adult about everything by the time we get to season 6.  

Notable Times Kurt Doesn’t Cry - Any time with Blaine after he’s decided to stop feeling sorry for himself.  Dalton burning down.  Not even much angst in the flashback episode 2009. 

Series Observations:��

Final Episode Tally 32/117 - and very much front-loaded

The first season and half are by far the most overly flowing with emotion Kurt that we get.  And almost understandably so? He’s a young teenager who is suffering from a deep depression and intense emotional stress.  By the time Blaine comes along, the amount of crying Kurt does is cut in half, and when he does cry it’s for normal things - death of sibling, breakups, etc.  

At no point, though, does Kurt ever seem fragile to me.  

In fact - Kurt Hummel has no time for your emotions.   He does not get overly emotional for other people (save the one weird episode with Karofsky - On My Way, but that’s more so about his own connection to it, and the writers wanting to get Chris Colfer another Emmy nomination).  

Most of his crying, and nearly all of the actual break downs, are done privately.  

I have to wonder if at some point Chris Colfer said - please stop making me cry so much. 

[yourdeepestfathoms]

Heathers- Dragon AU

This is a WoF AU and it’s really popular on the Heathers Amino so I decided to post about it on here, too

Before the school

* Despite her MudWing blood, Chandler really doesn’t like the marsh. The bog and humidity makes her scales feel weird

* She was primarily raised in the SkyWing kingdom, but hatched in the swamp as the Bigwings. Kurt and Ram were in her troop

* McNamara grew up in a tribe around the SandWing kingdom. Her father was very powerful and wealthy with all the treasure he had

* Duke lived in hiding with her tribe on the other continent. Once the HiveWings found them, she fled across the ocean until she found the SkyWing kingdom, where she met Chandler

* Veronica hatched in the rainforest, where she spent most of her life until she was kidnapped

* Veronica never met her parents. It’s assumed that her mother was a RainWing and her father was a SeaWing with animus bloodline, which is where she got that power from

* JD lived at the volcano

The school

* Mac, Chandler, Duke, and Veronica all share a cave and are in a Winglet together

* Chandler has claimed the ledge in the cave as her sleeping spot. Duke sleeps in a hammock, McNamara sleeps on a stone platform, and Veronica sleeps in a moss burrow

* There’s also a spire that they climb on when they have something important to say

* Duke and Veronica have sun time together, while Chandler doesn’t understand it and McNamara is done with sunlight from living in the desert

* Mac hates water and waits on a ledge while in the underground lake

* Veronica enjoys hanging upside down from her tail

* It’s hard to decide who would win in a fight. Chandler is immune to fire, while she’s also able to breathe it. Mac has fire breath and a scorpion tail. Duke can control plants. Veronica can spray acid and blend in with her surroundings.

* Duke is probably the easiest to take out. McNamara is skilled with her ability to sting someone, but only if she can see or catch her opponent. Veronica could easily camouflage her scales and disappear from sight. She and Chandler could probably hang up on Mac. Between those two, it’s hard to decide on who’s stronger.

* Then again Veronica is small

* But she’s also an Animus so who knows

* History class is probably the worst and they usually end up sleeping

* JD blows up the fucking mountain btw

* Also he has access to Dragonbite Vipers

* His Animus powers are making him insane

Random explorations

* Veronica and her Winglet go to the different kingdoms

* IceWings were by far the worst because it’s so cold

* Everyone huddles with Mac because her scales are always heated

* Guard: State your business.

McNamara, with Duke, Veronica, and Chandler clambered on her back: Please give us warmth

* It was literally too cold to even fly so they had to drag themselves through the snow

* In contrast, the SandWing kingdom wasn’t any better

* Veronica, being half SeaWing, suffers

* Her gills get dried up and crusty and it hurts so much

* Duke likes the sunlight for two seconds and then she feels like she’s being burned alive

* Chandler is content, really. Her scales are practically absorbing the light

* Mac is like “lol y’all are pussies”

* The sand practically burns Duke’s claws

* Flying isn’t much better

* McNamara, when they get to her tribe: Please be cool. My tribe is kinda skeptical of strangers. I want them to like you.

McNamara, to her fellow SandWings: Hello everyone! I’m home!

Veronica: W A T E R

* Veronica WOULD NOT get out of the oasis pool

* They get to meet the current SandWing queen and it’s pretty cool

* The Queen, to Veronica: what is that??

Mac: a baby

* After the desert they head to the marsh

* Chandler is slightly embarrassed but she’s secretly happy to see her troop again

* Duke strongly dislikes the bog

* Mac and Veronica are fine with it

* Veronica rolls around in puddles until mud gets in her gills and she gags so violently it’s a wonder her lungs didn’t come out of her mouth

* Kurt and Ram tackle Chandler when they see her again

* Unfortunately the trio is cut short when angry SkyWings invade

* It’s time to be prisoners oof

* Chandler isn’t in captivity, but she can’t do much to help her friends

* SkyWing Queen, about Duke and Veronica: A live LeafWing AND a hybrid? These two can stay. They’ll be perfect additions to my collection.

SkyWing Queen, about McNamara: She...is normal.

Mac: >:O

* After narrowly escaping the death arena, they flee to the rainforest to hide

* Veronica hasn’t been there in awhile and is devastated to find out RainWings are still going missing. Not much she can do, though

* Chandler would definitely have a colorful RainWing girlfriend tbh

* Duke thinks her pet human is way better than pet sloths

* Also she LOVES the rainforest

* Mac is being critical so Veronica enchants a papaya to hit her in the snout, which knocks her right of the tree

* One night, JD speaks to Veronica in her sleep with a Dreamvisitor. To say the least, it was pretty frightening

* The warning he gives her was more of a threat and NightWings and SkyWings attack the rainforest the next day, which is devastating. A complete bloodbath.

* The Winglet has to fly away again, this time searching for the SeaWing kingdom, much to McNamara’s dismay

* She does not enjoy the ocean at all

[missrandomdreamer]

Dragon Age Inquisition Ladies  -so far-

*sorry for crappy picture quality btw ><, also some parts are still in progress for some reason i have more on Aisling’s past and more on Coronach’s future than vice versa lol still work in progress. Also its a pretty long post *

Coronach

“I would rather be hated for what I am, than loved for what I’m not.”-Kurt Cobain

Name: Coronach( Scottish term for a mourning song at a funeral) Adaar

Class: Mage: lighting and fire specialty

Race: Qunari

Age: 30

Height: 7′5

Hair: Greysih black, held up in a very tight bun

Skin: ashen grey

Eyes: bright violet

Hobbies: singing, reading especially poetry, hearing Blackwall and Solas’ stories and horse back riding among the different landscapes she has visited from being in the Inquisition

Lover: Blackwall

Bffs: Solas and Sera

Enemies? People she doesn’t get along with:  Vivienne, people who believe they are right all the time and disrespect others when they are already hurting

Personality: Coronach for the most part is quiet and caring, as well as extremely observant to those around her. However, do not mistake her quietness for meekness. One nasty word towards any of her allies she will fight back with every word and physical capability as possible. In addition, if certain buttons are pressed she will snap back like a dragon. Despite all of that,  she is  very motherly to Sera and Cole, but the latter especially. She tries to the best she can but has an anxiety of wandering if she is doing the right thing despite that she will commit to said choice with the mask of confidence although she later doubts her choices. 

Coronach is a secret hopeless romantic and when she falls in love she fall hard to the point she might become blind because of it.  She also has the capacity to feel things to the extreme. She loves tremendously which can be a problem sometimes and she can become extremely depressed. She  tries to hold it all together but she can’t and does need someone to confine in at times. She is a strong qunari but she does need help and isn’t afraid to admit it when things get to rough. 

Views on her on Blackwall and her close friends: Coronach was immediately swoon by Blackwall. 

Bonus: Despite knowing what happens in Trespasser I would like to think Coronach and Blackwall would get married and have a mabari as Blackwall talked about. They would also have twins to which Solas and Sera would be the god parents of lol Despite both of the godparents not being too keen they would spoil the heck out of the twins and let them get away with so much shit. The twins would probably be named after something in nature for both her and Blackwall have a fondness of it. 

Though in regards to Trespasser, Coronach would never emotionally heal after what goes on with Solas. That would emotionally damage her,  she would be extremely depressed and never truly recover. She really looked up to Solas  for he was her first real friend in the Inquisition.  And if  Blackwall were to die she would probably die soon after: for she loved him far too much to keep on living without him.

Aisling

“These footsteps breathe fire, jump, follow, my desire. My breathing goes quiet. Wake up you woke the lion. I’m taking over the front lines, staring out  into my enemies eyes. When tomorrow is over, I can only be dead or alive. I’m a Warrior. ” -Warrior lyrics by J.O.B. Ft. Anjulie

Name: Aisling ( meaning dream or vision in Irish, also a poetic term) Trevelyan

Class:  Mage of fire and ice

Race: human

Age:  25

Height: 5′5

Hair: reddish brown shaved on one side short shoulder length

Skin: pale as heck with lots of freckles. Also wears blue tattoos on her face

Eyes: sea foam green

Hobbies:  practicing her magic alone, usually wandering by herself in thought, fighting (the one thing she doesn’t have to think about to much: it keeps her distracted from her own thoughts)

Love Interest: Cullen

Close friends: ???  

Personality : Aisling  is constantly fighting to figure out who she is, what her purpose is and what to do with her life. She feels she doesn’t belong anywhere and just roams, especially after the chaos that occurred. She also is known for frequent mood swings: one time being happy and friendly with the next being on edge and angry. Thus fire and ice suits her elemental magic perfectly,one can never tell when she will snap or smile at you.  She has a temper and can also not mean what she says half the time, followed by immediately beating herself up over it. Aisling, with the case of Cullen on the adrenaline of emotion will flirt and say something but immediately regret it and be embarrassed afterward. 

The female mage also has problems making friends. She tends to hide a lot of how she is truly feeling and doesn’t like to let anyone in. Aisling has a lot of defenses despite this she is lonely and wants to talk to people. When she does find a connection between her and another she will attempt to becomes friends but its hard for her. Communication is not her strong suit and she is very afraid of creating bonds with people and opening up to them despite she would never admit it. Many see her as childish and unstable  very few people know how to approach her. Despite all of this she is a demon on the battle field. She fights with every inch of her body and soul,  believing every day she could die and welcoming it with open arms. 

Story that is not so cannon to game: Aisling came from a abusive family life as well as the circle of mages wasn’t any better. She felt she never belonged anywhere so when things got chaotic she booked it out of there as soon as possible. However, getting swallowed in by the Inquisition was not part of her plan. She hates being in charge and cannot stand the titles or people calling her by her family name.  The only perk to being in the Inquisition is getting revenge on her family and blackmailing them after what they put her through. 

Views on Cullen and others:

Cullen: 

Bonus: As I have ranted before, how I wanted to romance Cullen in the first game but wasn’t able to I came up with a theme. My original warden in the first dragon age game was named Sonya (human mage,whose name also means dream) reddish hair  and blue tattoos. She had a crush on Cullen but of course nothing came of it because of their places in society and she would soon pass away at the fight of the blight. However, Cullen meets Aisling who is similar but also drastically different than Sonya. When Cullen sees Aisling he can’t help but remember Sonya and feels a bit drawn to her despite how unpredictable Aisling is.

[jbuffyangel]

The Weekly Rundown (10/07/18-10/13/18)

Sorry so late! I’m getting caught up on articles. Almost there :) Time to rundown what I’m watching, loving, hating and everything in between! Spoilers ahead!

God Friended Me (”The Good Samaritan”)

Confession time: I didn’t pay very close attention to this week’s episode, but Miles and Cara continue to be adorable. Pretty sure I ship it.

Manifest (”Turbulence”)

I’m not really feeling the chemistry between Josh Dallas and Athena Karkanis. However, the chemistry between  Melissa Roxburgh and JR Ramirez is smoldering.

Josh Dallas is my blue eye baby who makes me feel all the things. He conveyed so many emotions without saying a word in the scene where Ben and Grace discussed the man in her life. WOW!    

I want to believe Grace is in love with Ben and not Danny (because it's Josh Dallas and that's all the reason she needs), but I'm not buying it... yet

The whole twins being different ages is a never ending mind bender.

Seriously though what did Ben do for a living?

The Gifted (“coMplications”)

All I want is for Marcos to hold Dawn forever and snuggle with Lorna. Why can’t I have the things that I want?

But seriously though these Marcos and baby scenes are killing me.

Marcos fighting the Frost sister’s mind control was amazing. He was ready to tear everything apart to get his Lorna and his baby. SO HOT.

Andy, buddy what are you doing? Sure, they gave you a better hair cut and cool clothes, but Reeva is crazy. Tell me you know that boy!

I’m having trouble understanding why Reed didn’t want to tell his wife and daughter his powers were coming back. He has two mutant children! They tried to equate Lauren’s fear of “coming out” to Reed’s but it’s just not the same. He was her parent and he hunted mutants. She legitimately feared her father’s rejection. Reed isn’t in the same situation at all and I see no reason to for him to be lying to everyone for months.

Kate hugs Reed once he tells her the truth, which is nice, but were we really expecting her to reject him? Did the writers forget they have two mutant children?

The Gifted blew past all the build up to Clarice and John’s relationship and now they’ve sewn the seeds for the break up - in the third episode. This whole “Clarice is a spy for the Erg and lies to John about it” storyline is only going one place. John is doing his fair share of lying and pushing Clarice away. Needless to say I am unhappy with how this relationship is being handled.

F.B.I. (“Green Birds” and  “Prey”)

Finally got caught up on F.B.I. I thought “Prey” was a much stronger episode than “Green Birds.” 

I am so glad they cast Sela Ward! I love her. Her character is much more likable as Maggie and Omar’s boss.

I’m here for Omar doing hot things because Omar is hot. I feel warm every time he talks about his military experience. 

Still a little iffy about this show, but I’ll stick with it for now.

This Is Us (Katie Girls)

The depth of my hate for Jack's father knows no bounds.

"Or you can stay and I'll kill him." Honestly, I was okay with that option too Jack.

Randall is a mess watching his brother's movie and I stan this bromance so hard.

I am really freaking glad Randall is taking Kate on because I AM SO MAD AT HER.

Well that conversation swerved quickly. Stay on point Randall.

Okay well now we're off on a whole other thing and Kate is crying. Good grief children.

Not sure how Randall & Kate's discussion became a fight about adoption. The point was to discuss Kate's insensitivity regarding her remark about being the only person able to pass on Jack's genes. How did she turn it into Randall's insensitivity about her miscarriage?

Beth, Miguel and Toby having a group text to discuss their messed up in laws is AMAZING.

Randall is terrible at apologizing but also WHY IS HE APOLOGIZING?

I'm trying to hang with my girl Kate here. I've had a miscarriage and it's devastating, but your personal pain is not an excuse to be hurtful to others. Understanding where Randall was coming from was not a long bridge to cross.

I am so relating to Kevin putting the pieces together regarding Jack's service.

Beth got fired? NOOOOOO. My Beth!  

Toby's reaction to Randall showing up was gold.

KATE AND JACK ARE DREAM SEQUENCING AND I AM NOT OKAY. Btw Jack could you advise Kate to stop being such a jackass to Randall? Thanks bro.

Awkward Rebecca and Jack is the worst. You are soul mates kids. Get it together.  

Jack wants to marry you Rebecca and have lots and lots of babies. You are his dream.

I hope Randall and Beth have 9 months of savings. Suze Orman says you need 9 months of savings.

Marriage is never 50/50. But I think Beth and Randall have been going 90/10 for awhile and it's time for that ratio to shift.

I love how the writers find commonality in their characters in ways you never thought of before. Randall and Toby sharing their struggles with depression and anxiety was such a beautiful way to bond these characters

Kate wanted to marry Mark Paul Gosselar. Same girl.

"You came across the country to say you are sorry. That's the most Dad move ever." HELLO KATE. NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. You could have added that he didn't need to apologize and you are the one who is sorry but I don't want to editorialize too much. Carry on.)

Rebecca pulled a Jack Pearson on Jack Pearson. EPIC.

Marry you the man who does dishes. 

A Million Little Things (”Save The Date”)

HOLY. FREAKING. CRAP. THEY. ALL. FOUND. OUT. That was fast y’all! Wow!

If we’re blowing past the big affair secret does that mean we’ll find out the reason John killed himself? It’s an annoying mystery. Cough up the answers, show.

All the awards to Grace Park. She’s been sadly under utilized on this show until now and boy did she come out swinging. The scenes where she confronts Eddie and Delilah were amazing. 

I cheered when Grace slapped Eddie. I have no sympathy for him. He’s cheating because his wife is gone at work all the time? It’s called a mortgage jackass. Guitar lessons aren’t going to get it done. 

It irritates me when people act like they have no choice in who they sleep with. Eddie is walking around like falling in love with Delilah was an accident. Listen pal you are a grown ass man. You made choices. Own it. Cheating is such a mean thing to do.  Nobody is forcing anyone to stay in these marriages. Get a divorce before you go hopping into bed with someone else.

I’m only slightly less angry with Delilah but that’s only because her husband jumped off a building. Her scene where she screams to friends to ask if she was the reason John killed himself was gutting. Guit is a bitch.

By the way, even if Jon made his peace with the affair it doesn’t make the affair okay. Also, nobody asked for Katherine’s opinon. Pretty sure she’d tell everyone where to stick if if they’d did though.

I feel like Gary is representing the audience in this episode, i.e. me. I don’t think the writers needed to muddy the water with Gary’s issues with marriage, his parents divorce and his birthday. I understand Jon and Delilah were his shining example of marriage bliss, but we didn’t need to make this about his childhood trauma. His anger was warranted by itself. Delilah and Eddie did an awful thing.

We need to move it along with Maggie’s storyline. She’s the friends-with-benefit-rando-friend-everyone-just-met-but-pretend-like-they’ve-known-her-since-always. Her impermanence in all of these people’s lives makes the level she’s included in things... odd. Let’s get the cancer out in the open and solidify her relationships - particularly with Gary. 

Blindspot (“Hella Duplicitous”)

Jane's hair is long. That's how ya know she's evil again

Seriously how do they not know Remi is back? She's so cranky. Jane is much more cheerful. Also, I feel like her voice is three octaves lower.

Remi can fight with samurai swords. Who knew? A list of all of her skills would be great.

Do I call her Remi or Jane y'all? I'm going with Remi for now.

Remi's impression of Jane being worried about Kurt was pretty spot on. Well played evil one.

Anyone else enjoying Remi looking all murdery every time anyone mentions Roman is dead? Same girl. Except I'm sad Luke Mitchell isn't on the show anymore not murdery because that'd be weird.

Jane's dying except she's Remi so like that's a double dose of suck.

Oh score. Cure. This is like Elena being vampire. They'll fix it. I ain't worried. Imma gonna get Jeller babies. Or should I say PLEEEEEEEEEASE give me Jeller babies.

OH MY GOD SHE'S HALLUCINATING ROMAN. Luke Mitchell IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so here for Roman being the crazy voice in Jane/Remi's head.

Sorry Remi. Your super evil terrorist group is canceled. Sorry not sorry girl. Watch Season 1-Season 3 and catch up girl.

Two Sandstorm operatives is more like a club than a terrorist group, but okay Remi. Gotta start somewhere I guess.

It's weird that the cure is re-erasing Remi's memories but also let's re-erase Remi's memories. I ain't a fan.

Damn. Blake is dead? That... was unexpected. Okay so now I'm imagining that Blake and Roman are happy in heaven together. Leave me to my dream.

Kurt is scared... I love you my cupcake.

Wiping her memory and meeting Kurt Weller was the best thing that ever happened to Remi because she's not nice and Jane is awesome. Kudos to Blindspot for reinforcing their central love story while also wreaking absolute havoc on it.

Is Zapata evil now? Is everybody evil now?

Weitz is director. Ugh.

"You can't keep watching me all the time." Girl, he does that when you are totally healthy. Kurt Weller giving Jane fuzzy bunny stares is the show. Seriously, someone show Remi S1-S3.

Haha. She squeezed Kurt too hard to hurt him. What a bitch. Also awesome.

Zapata's smile when she sees Reade on TV. Girl go home.

Rich and Patterson are gonna cure Jane using Santa magic and it's gonna be friggin awesome.

Reciting the wedding video is creepy Remi.

Noooo.... don't break out Mama Shepherd. She be crazier than you Remi and at this point that's saying A LOT. 

[grizzlefur]

WWEm - Back Like a Recurrent UTI

In response to a comment from a reader, which is frankly one comment more than I ever thought I’d get, I’m dropping the interline punctuation. Be aware I may be switching to Comic Sans next week though.

Transmission date: Monday 5/Tuesday 6 June 2017.

Coming at you off the back of Medium-Strength Rules, this is THURSDAY AFTERNOON RAW!

so yeah, extreme rules was kind of crap like, i don't need it to be all barbed wire rope exploding table deathmatches, but that was honestly tamer than a lot of episodes of raw it's like waiting a fortnight for a jalfrezi and getting a shitty mushroom dopiaza or something (that's the subtitle of the dvd release, btw) (Extreme Rules 2017: The Shitty Mushroom Dopiaza of Wrestling) kkb took the belts, though, so that's good at least in any case, i should probably stop using this blog to bitch about ppvs that we're not watching and actually watch the show just kidding, it's my blog, i can do whatever the fuck i want NEXT UP: THE HIGHLY EFFECTIVE HABITS OF SUCCESSFUL LEAFCUTTER ANTS (2017, 7hrs 41mins) *daniel starts raw* dang ah well we'll get back to that particular gem we kick off with a dramatic slideshow of an entirely undramatic two-chilli rules main event if you haven't been keeping up with the results, joe won by stealing a pin opportunity and choking finn to death i have genuinely no clue how they're going to build a joe/brock feud without turning one of them, which would make no sense and be bullshit were the hardyz in the title sequence before? i am very unobservant, so it's possible jesus fuck, guys, you don't need to keep weaponising the pyro to see what i say we're back in the mohegan sun later, joe talks about life but now, here comes a bray to chop off your head or possibly declaim some eschatological craziness could be both who knows i'm wearing a SanItY shirt, i don't give a shit aww, apparently he's here to fight roman disappointing can he chop roman's head off? booker's still on announce, which is weird given that otunga was around to be on the pico de gallo rules preshow panel ok, bray's got a mic so at least we get some preaching before roman gets here apparently sunday was the beginning of the end, because bray will not be there to slay the beast because he was stabbed through the eye with his own sword of salvation but he's fine, because he's still a god (i'm not even paraphrasing) he's here to pass judgment on the guilty which includes basically everybody who isn't him he mentions roman, the arena roof levitates on the cloud of boos he's vowed to personally punish everyone, starting with roman now oh, and here he is personally, i would not enter a room with a man who had just levelled that particular bit of demagoguery at me but hey, i'm not roman reigns loving the guy on hardcam with the I CAME TO BOO ROMAN sign so did everyone else, it seems apocalyptic cult leader and self-proclaimed god vs big taciturn punch man which way is the heel/face divide even meant to go in this situation enormous boos, roman takes bray's mic, boos redouble apparently this kind of public hate is why roman is the guy sure, why not better than proclaiming yourself the BIG FIGHT man cannot tweet roman coldcocks bray, start the match bray nearly lands sister abigail within about six seconds that would have been fucking hilarious although it kind of feels like maybe bray should have a new finisher to fit this whole bringing judgment upon the guilty thing or maybe that's just my overly-narrative booking instincts who can say (that is definitely what it is) fuck off, daniel i'll rescind your fruit bowl privileges bray avoids a samoan drop through the incredibly advanced tactic of punching roman in the head repeatedly that's the kind of tactical nous you only get by anointing yourself with the burnt grave earth of your diabolic mistress as the saying goes did we really need to cut to that enormously wide shot where the camera's on the other side of a lighting rig several astronomical units away from the ring? like, we get that the mohegan sun's big no need to prove this at the expense of beign able to see shit if i wanted to watch insects wrestle while i shine a torch into one of my eyes, i could do that at home i'm going off on tangents a lot here because this match is slow as fuck roman is still creeped out to the point of a nearfall by bray's spiderwalk goes for a pin off an uranage, then takes roman to the top rope we could be here a while he does a few punches, roman headbutts him for longer than would seem necessary before turning it into a powerbomb roman cocks his hand, takes a couple tries to hit bray what happens if he cocks his hand and doesn't do anything with it? does he have to punch something to get rid of it before it goes off accidentally? or can he rack his forearm to eject a loaded fist? enquiring minds want to know anyway, while that muse was visiting me, bray heard roman going oooooooo and rolled out, took a driveby but punched roman's head off so it seems my earlier proposal was correct huh i can call murders better than matches bray goes for sister abigail, roman reverses into a superman punch and a really slow spear for the pin so yeah that happened meanwhile, someone in the crowd has leveraged all their crafting skills to make a sign informing us that BROCK LESNAR IS TICKLISH corey invents the adjective 'slaughterous' yeah, ok bray deserves new words end segment later on, we have joe doing a thing but next, we talk about the shitshow that was the 'extreme' women's title match "But can Bayley get EXTREEEEEME?" "No." but now, we have charly interviewing enzo and cass enzo's conscious, which is a change charly asks enzo about their match tonight with enzo and cass, he responds by creeping on charly and insulting corey's hair cass is insulted by the rumours that he was attacking his bro, promises to watch his back at all times and then they leave, and enzo returns to creep on charly alone good backwatching, colin what if charly was the mystery assailant it makes so much sense anyway, now we have a dull slideshow of the dull women's title match and photos of the one welt on bayley's back, which has made her take the night off somebody send jericho to talk to her in his curtain room/office, kurt is confused by his phone and here is alexa to present terms she wants a celebration of her entire life tonight because the this is your life segment went down so well outstanding kurt immediately comes back like fuck no that's an awful idea this is your life was dreadful and anyway you owe nia a title shot tonight alexa is none too pleased and slightly shellshocked but here's dean, aka 33% of the best bit of semi-notable rules and now, here's a very large man on a stool dressed entirely in scarves and fragments of scarves, with a song he wrote after seeing a leaf fall on the side of the highway

actual quote

it's a song about how dean sucks, basically

with a subtext about how elias deserves a title shot

dean's music interrupts it

it's an elias segment, so corey is SO ANGRY

dean does his hey dude hold on a second i just want to PUNCH thing

hits him until he goes away, and demands a title rematch but here's miz on the tron, like fuck no he's wearing a bow tie for the kickoff celebration of the ic title comeback tour and elias blindsides dean into his swinging neckbreaker and shouts at him, because sometimes you just gotta but up next, samoa joe the mohegan sun fans need something to cheer, or they're going to riot but first, dean storms backstage runs into kurt, asks for a ref in miz's dressing room kurt's like no, we've got a party planned and i'm scared of maryse, please go away no dean, don't go to miz's dressing room so kurt ejects him from the building it is just heel city so far oh hey, it's joe funny, that because the prevailing heel archetype at the moment is apparently 'large samoan man named joe' first shot of the match card graphics for great balls of fire, and it looks like shit if you're making a title graphic, maybe don't put a flashy effect around the word BALLS in the centre joe thinks brock ain't shit and wants to take everything he owns including his cushy non-wrestling schedule i think we all want brock's ability to draw a salary and have fans without doing shit joe also wants paul heyman, just for giggles oh hey, paul didn't see you there (largely because you were backstage and i don't have camera control) paul does his usual spiel, and still needs to check the definition of 'defending' does his usual thing of hi joe aren't you awesome can i come into your ring sir please don't hurt me but btw my client also thinks you yourself ain't shit does a soliloquy about worrying for a living, turns it into a jew joke sigh addresses the fact that brock/finn would have been a great story, while brock/joe is just going to be two large angry men trying to shoot kill each other paul does his usual great job of hyping both people in this match you're great, but my client's better paul shakes hands with joe, tries to leave, joe grabs him again and has an earnest face-to-face conversation he's so well-spoken he's like hey paul i understand you're just a legal representative but jsyk i'm about to choke the life out of you and this is exactly what it's going to feel like and then he does calm joe is the most intimidating joe refs get involved, but not until paul goes limp the crowd are unsure how to react to this assault joe shouts at the crowd some more, then leaves and we cut to ads on the sight of paul on the floor and we come back backstage, with kurt like THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO at joe who's like i don't know would you like me to demonstrate loooooooom but here comes seth to shout at joe and intervene also he has a new merch vest to show off kurt's like hey this sounds like a good match this booking shit is easy joe sidles off with a dark look, end thing but now we have slater and rhyno facing the kkb with the former's entrance being helpfully played under the announce team talking earnestly about joe the announcers and graphics team need to decide whether they're sheamus and cesaro or cesaro and sheamus dramatic slideshow of the cage match, making it make even less sense lovely closeup of jeff's post-dive 'holy fuck why do i still do this to myself' face bell rings, instead of getting out of the ring, cesaro creates an novel distraction by running across the ring and sliding out in the opponents' corner while sheamus commences to beating the piss out of heath slater knocks them both down, goes for a hot tag, cesaro pulls rhyno off the apron, brogue for the pin so that was a thing i'll be honest, i just love seeing them with the belts and they get mic spots awesome sheamus is like hey guys look like we know how to do this wrestling thing who knew are you all happy the hardyz came back well then you're all twats you know who isn't happy they came back? the hardyz, who basically ain't shit they reiterate their claim to be the bar, cue music and celebration but here's tjp backstage runs into neville oh so coincidentally like congrats, but where the fuck is my title shot neville does his usual patience, young one thing, tjp will no longer take this shit neville is a man of his word, and he'll give tj his shot if he takes care of mustafa next cut for ads, and here's that match tj's straight in with the slightly excessive aggression, tries to crush ali's face across the corner with his foot and then a bunch of cool spots happen faster than i can type about them but that should go without saying, really thanks for slowing things down with that really long rest headlock, tj mustafa does his lovely top rope twist torndo ddt, tries for the inverted 450, tj reverses into a detonation kick for the pin again with the really short matches mustafa deserves better tj swaggers up the ring, neville's crazy pyro hits, he basically shits himself, it's hilarious he's like i'm sorry my apprentice, i talked to kurt but we can't have a match tonight i tried tj shouts at him, storms off, so he blindsides him and beats the shit out of him on the stage and then says he can have his shot tomorrow on 205 i say 'says', more 'northernly rants' cut for ads, and we come back with another shattered dreams production goldust's like excuse you did you steal my format and my chair it is ON motherfucker promises to bring the whole movie industry into his coming golden age how this will interact with bray's prophesied apocalypse is unclear but now, in the women's locker room, mickie and dana congratulate sasha on her dance moves alexa comes in, sasha nopes out of the room and alexa's like hey girls what do you think about nia cutting in line for the title what a bitch right dana and mickie are like lol no we'll be at ringside laughing at you announce spot, and kurt appears to call corey away for urgent business involving gesturing at his phone and looking annoyed i have no clue what all this is building to if there's been foreshadowing, i've missed it cole tries to ask him what that's all about, corey's like OH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT kalisto's here he's lost the aggressively sculpted dragon mask, back to more of an nxt-era lucha dragons thing back in mexican colours and everything whatever happened to el local ...okay, i totally did not know he was ricardo rodriguez i wouldn't have known who that was back when i started watching nxt, to be fair thanks, internet huh anyway, back on the show, ...mike? ambushes kurt backstage to ask what the fuck's going on with those emails or w/e he uses slightly more professional language, because he's talking to his boss while i'm screaming semi-informed obscenities into the formless void of the internet kurt's like nope, anonymous dude, this is private and walks out of the arena and dean sneaks in the door just before it closes dean ambrose: back like a recurrent uti (his disappointing third album) and as we watch him come in, the revival just happen to be in the back of the shot caught it that time i pay attention sometimes but now it's kalisto/titus or actually titus knocking kaliso down and then shouting at apollo also tozawa is watching because titus wants him on the brand kalisto gets a rollup holding titus' trunks, apollo's like welp guess you asked for that one boss does some light motivational slapping, end segment but here are miz and maryse, even more dapper than usual and pan over to big cass, collapsed under a bunch of girders and shit enzo comes running in like whoa what happened way to stay together, guys cass presents enzo with a tacky chain that he presumably took off his attacker, enzo hugs his bro as we cut to ads and we come back on enzo being like okay well this is clearly a frame job and btw we have a match so can cass wrestle or what the answer is no but now we're back in the ring, with carpet and champagne and balloons and maryse and a guy in a teddy bear suit with a sign says CONGRATULATIONS who is totally not dean ambrose no sir but seriously, miz must fucking love balloons this ring is at imminent risk of lifting off and here is the man himself and a dramatic slideshow of the actually-great match complete with the nicest ref ever but yes, miz and maryse both look fucking great tonight just saying surprising number of you deserve it chants miz is immediately like fuck off you chant that for everyone just reminding us he's still a heel and all but yes, i do deserve it and here's a speech about how i'm redeeming the ic belt a toast to me "Ladies and gentlemen, please raise a glass...or, if you're in this arena, a styrofoam cup..." delivered perfectly miz thanks maryse for all this stuff, mentions the bear, she's like um i thought you ordered the bear then who's flying the plane so miz attacks the bear on principle and finales him welp, that bear's dead dramatically unmasks him, revealing...some dude he's like ...um, well at least you had a brush with celebrity, get out of here *whips him out of the ring* and now here comes a big present down the ramp miz is like well isn't this nice what could this be grabs a chair, beats the shit out of the present while maryse shouts at him to stop and it's a very dead grandfather clock and a very sad maryse tells mike he ruined the party, throws the mic at him, storms off and we are left with a very dejected miz, blaming dean for all his problems and having a paranoid breakdown at the crowd and the steadicam guy who's been following miz throughout takes his headset and hat off and hits miz with dirty deeds lovely slow realisation as the camera feed went up on the tron dean swigs some champagne, takes the bottle and leaves okay, that was really well done but now, we see enzo wandering dejectedly backstage looking for a partner and now we see the family who have good seats because of pizza including the wonderfully-named Enzo Shirtz but yes gallows and anderson are in the ring and here comes enzo all on his onesie does his intro, but it's not the same without a large man gesticulating behind him does his 4G well-connected joke again get new material, dude but he's found himself a new seven-foot man it's a biiiiiig shooooooooow although it would have been amazing if it was braun big show stands in the middle of the ring like what is this tiny rodent enzo tries to give him a pep talk with some semi-coherent jokes mixed in show has progressed from 'bemused' to 'angered' this is the most awkward thing, and i could not do it justice without rubbing a buttered weasel on the keyboard and...now show is doing a joisey-accented monologue with an extended ice age reference before spelling it out for them? what the fuck is in this drink well, the match has started, so i guess the talking can stop bell rings, anderson kicks enzo's soul out of his body standard swift hot tag to show, who...does all the normal show stuff chokeslam to anderson, into badaboomshakalaka except in the form of show military pressing enzo and then just rhowing him straight at anderson well, that was a thing that happened? lasted about 90 seconds anyway next up, women's title match but here are zo and show backstage run into cass, who's like hey funny how show disappears for weeks and then he's back when you need a partner casts suspicion about show being the culprit, enzo wants to give him a ride, but cass takes him away and now let's have a terrible blaxploitation segment full of film references yup but now mike? interviews alexa in the curtain room he asks if she regrets giving nia this shot, she's like i regret this show fuck off faceless dude and back to the arena, here's nia

cut to ads, and...now a weird bit where every version of this i can find appears to have overwritten the entire women's match with the elias segment from earlier the fuck, internet apparently it was pretty much what you might have thought - nia stomped all over alexa, dana and mickie pointed and laughed, and then alexa went and started a fight with those two for a dq win i would have liked to watch that, but guess that's not happening back to the actual show just in time for a graphic for the cruiserweight title match thank fuck i didn't miss that and apparently brock will be here next week i repeat, the champion will be on the show he supposedly leads novel idea so yes, here's everyone's favourite towel-sporting middle-aged-man-strangler and also seth, who didn't try to murder a doughy guy in a suit today bell rings, joe just gets down to punching seth's face in before even taking off his towel seth goes for a suicide dive, joe roundhouse kicks him as he comes out of the ropes, because he is way more flexible than he really should be this match is 10% seth doing cool cruiserweighty shit and 90% joe's hundred flavours of NOPE seth does a sling blade into a suicide dive, and it actually works this time and into a blockbuster because why stop at one signature and as i type that, there goes another suicide dive and then into a falcon arrow, as seth goes fuck you i can do strength spots seth goes up to the top rope, wyatt cut because fuck you lights go back up, seth looks around for a bray who is very much not here, joe blindsides him and coquina clutch until death and we fade on seth bleeding, joe strutting, WOMP WOMPing, and an entirely unnecessary reminder that brock'll be here next week do you have to ruin everything, wwe (don't answer that) smackdown will probably follow tomorrow, after i've gone and been an instrument of democracy but in the meantime, let me tell you about these ants -------------------- And if you enjoyed that, we hope you'll be back next week for our seminar on Following Pheromone Trails In An Increasingly Odoriferous World. right, now that that's done, it's probably time for some FRIDAY AFTERNOON SMACKDOWN! (i apologise in advance for any political jokes that slip through) (it's been a tough few days) and we open on a dramatic retelling of the women's five-way last week so yeah, women's mitb is probably going to be the big story this week i've had some of this show spoiled, but i honestly can't remember what, so that's sorted itself out and we're back in the present, and here come the shaney and also the five contenders are in the ring already and one of them's brought their creeper charlotte is looking ridiculously overdressed in her black sequin robe seven words in, shane gets a cheap pop in shane starts introducing them all, calls tamina "a two-time superstar" the fuck does that even mean the crowd love charlotte, but they love becky more apparently we're having a six-woman tag match later because why not have the entire division in the ring *again* drumroll as shane reveals the case it's basically the same, except silver and with some extra detailing on the logo no pink, thank fuck shane has a monologue about how dangerous the mitb match is, like he totally does with the men claims whoever has won this in the past has become champion somewhere, damien sandow is crying ellsworth calls shane out for mansplaining the mitb match, carmella gets a monologue until charlotte shouts her down leans on the genetic superiority thing, offers the other four a chance at brushing against greatness somehow a face? nattie calls her out for ripping off her father, proceeds to do the same to her uncle becky calls her on this, promises to rip off everybody's arms should be worth watching tamina gets to say words, which is novel but here comes naomi gets to do her whole entrance, because fuck this argument i'm the champ hypes the match like dang i wish i was allowed to be in this INTERRUPTING TRASH SAX lana is actually here in person (why do i like this music what is wrong with me) struts down the ramp, everyone in the ring just standing there like um fuck the what shane's like um hi? btw i was trying to do a thing, why are you in my ring shit, she's still russian and weirdly propositioning shane while also asking for a spot in the mitb match naomi just bursts out laughing like do you even go here why do you get to be in this match when you've had like none ever lana claims she can beat naomi, i smell a match for later shane's like seriously this is not how this show works lana has a tantrum in russian, flounces off up the ramp a+ flounce the crowd are loving her shane's like RIGHT back to the actual show that i run let's have this tag match Pun Murderer, FluoroTwerk and Queen Bitch vs Wrestling Mom, Thug Girl (and Douchey), and Obligatory Samoan lots of spots happened while i was working that out, but the gist is it's pretty even so far currently becky is alligator rolling carmella around the ring with her legs there's my thing i haven't seen before for the week apparently carmella taking the briefcase would be "like moving from HD televisions back to nanotubes" i'm going to go out on a limb and say jbl doesn't understand how science works interference by nattie and ellsworth lets tamina hot tag in and grind becky to pulp nattie tags in so she can walk over becky and taunt her teammates she'd be a much more effective wrestler with more wrestling naomi and carmella both hot tag in, the champ commences to cleaning house including three short-arm leg lariats to tamina because hey, if you can manage those, why not throw a bunch in nattie and tamina both come in to interfere, and here's lana to loom on the ramp and knock naomi off the apron, letting tamina superkick her for the pin stands at ringside looking smug like yes i did do that the fuck you gonna do and we go backstage, where shane runs into the andre the giant trophy mid-phone call like the fuck is this horrible public art and here's mojo to address the fact that he won that match and then nothing else fucking ever and be like should i maybe have been in the mitb match being the only person that's beaten jinder on smackdown and all shane offhandedly mentions luke harper, the crowd go wild shane's giving mojo a match against jinder to qualify for the ladder match because as ever, shane books this shit about twenty seconds in advance later we have owens/nakamura but next, styles/ziggler again and weirdly, by 'next', we don't mean 'after someone from the last segment has an encounter backstage' for once here is aj now they still don't want none although by the sound of the crowd, rochester, NY don't not want none dolph enters, recap video of dolph going over aj last week which i had totally forgotten looking more closely at the men's briefcase, the logo detailing's the same so yeah, it's just the colour that's different bell rings, we start going old-school mat wrestling turns out dolph has amateur technical skills that aren't just assaults to the crotch and also, he can dropkick you in the face dolph goes for the most blatant dirty pin, gets caught just before 3 and then a famouser actually connects for a nearfall i tend to rag on them repeating matches, but hey, this is a good match slow superplex setup actually resolves in an interesting way dolph counters a phenomenal forearm into another dirty pin attempt, aj reverses into a styles clash with like no setup, gets the pin because we're actually respecting finishers for the moment and from that to more fashion files noir tyler has a gritty monologue about the connections between prison and the catwalk and narrates himself looking at their clue board fandango returns from taking the cologne to the boys in the lab, only to find out that there's no boys and no lab, so he just tasted it himself as you do

and then this leads into the two of them repeatedly saying a mixture of 'cologne', 'colón' and 'clone' at each other with an increasing sense of incredulity this is like a fucking two ronnies sketch and i love it tyler finally gets it or not nor does fandango, which obviously means they must be close tyler offers a hopeful "Colóse?" and we cut to the new day and their ice cream cart what is life but still with the noir saxophone soundtrack they've come to the fashion police office and are bemused by how they turn black and white as they enter the new day have a case for them, the police say they'll take it, except the new day can't hear them because they're still speaking in their shared noir internal monologue and i am falling apart here big e is uncomfortable with how they're just staring at him but he's got them both rompers carried in his singlet, obviously fandango is not impressed "Listen, Big E, if that's even your real initial..." line of the night right there fandango is offended because they don't take bribes pan over to tyler, who is already wearing his like hey they're fashionable screw you the new day want intel on the usos for mitb breezango hand them five file boxes pull out a hoodie, ask the new day what they know about day one and why it is h xavier is trying so hard not to corpse the fashion police take the case, sax sting, they freeze frame until the new day are like ummmmmmm we'll just go while their noir monologue starts a 'new case rocks' chant that was amazing and you have no idea how many times i had to pause it to type but back in normality...oh wait, it's mojo i still can't hear his music without my brain adding zack's parts and here's a video to tell us that cena's coming back on july 4th, because of course he fucking is i thought jinder's music was different to usual but it's the singhs doing ring announce for jinder in english and punjabi and there's the music i was expecting i really like the ramp graphics they do for his entrance and he remains jacked as fuck somewhere in america, heath slater is watching smackdown and nxt and developing an inferiority complex it's just occurred to me that jinder's and aj's entrances have basically the same beat and structure somebody make me that mashup maybe this entrance is just they don't want none in punjabi that would be amazing i love how they've given jinder a properly long entrance with some gravitas and just generally how seriously they're taking him as a champion mojo is getting the upper hand with the power of HYPE (always upper case) every time jinder rolls out of the ring, the singhs are like omg boss are you ok can i get you a drink and they just have long arguments in punjabi and don't even try and let the average american in on it a singh distracts mojo and lets jinder just jump on his head a bunch doesn't take, because that's never where mojo keeps his brain flurry of offence later, jinder gets an eye rake in and khalass for the pin decent match by two underrated performers jinder's veins seem to have calmed down a bit too, which is reassuring jinder has a mic, the population of rochester is not pleased oh, fuck off your usa chants promises to kill randy and crush his dreams at mitb, leans on the hometown angle again proclaims himself the antidote to randy orton, and by extension america and then does a promo in punjabi, pissing off americans because america another hype bit for owens/nakamura and a video about how cool shinsuke is and somebody painting a protrait of him this video is basically all showmanship, but that's totally appropriate he's great in the ring, but that's not why people love him but next, the new day actually fight and they keep saying it's owens/nakamura 'for the first time ever' i have gifs that disagree but now, randy is backstage renee comes in to ask what he thinks about jinder's promo apparently he's been getting calls from ric flair, harley race and his dad, telling him to let jinder talk and then fuck him up so that's what he's going to do sure, that's compelling interview work but actually now, it's the new day v the colóns they're still throwing boxes of cereal into the crowd and pouring them on fans, because fuck your health and safety it's xavier/e, because this isn't a serious match so naturally, jbl goes off on a tangent about operation overlord this is 90% the colóns taking all the new day spots you know and love xavier and e do the ab stretch/spank thing at the same time, xavier somehow gets francesca ii turbo despite having a match to wrestle in a side note, primo's gone and shaved, so now i have no clue which colón is which xavier does a huge missile dropkick on epico, double hot tag and big e proceeds to annihilate primo xavier does a casual tope con giro, primo tries for a pin from the distraction, fails because fuck you we're the new day, blind tag into midnight hour for the pin their post-match celebration is interrupted by the usos' aggressive music they're here to talk trash at the new day and do their prison thing, astonishingly and they have shitty misogynistic jokes about the new day and jimmy's paranoia monologue i do like that they're doing all this mic work, but can we maybe not be offensive to marginalised groups shot of kevin taping his wrists backstage, but here's dasha in the curtain room with sami asking how he's preparing for mitb he's been watching lots of matches, basically and he has no idea how to get a handle on shinsuke slippery bastard sami tries to do some of shinsuke's moves, it doesn't go well so he's going to be on announce for owens/nakamura for research purposes baron looms into the room, coldcocks sami then hits him with a ladder like stop thinking about shinsuke don't you love me and then pushes him into a convenient pile of ladders and says he's taking the announce spot cut to shane on the phone like i am literally watching the show what the shit was that why do i keep that enormous douchebag around man spends a lot of time in expository phone calls (says the woman narrating the entire show on the internet) but here's naomi to ask for a match with lana at mitb shane's like seriously you have no clue how busy i am right now naomi lobbies harder, puts the title on the line after saying lana doesn't deserve a title shot because she hasn't earned it? does the bald-snatching line, end segment and now main event time here's kevin good sweeping shot of the ring apron and floor, wrong steadicam guy #smackdownediting ad for talking smack, with aj, mojo, and lana and tjp telling us to watch 205 becuse he's awesome [citation needed] claims you can't stab someone in the back if they're standing in front of you tjp has clearly never heard of the concept of elbows baron's on announce great the two facts they put on shinsuke's sidebar are literally 'from kyoto' and 'former nxt superstar' fascinating but what do i care, i'm busy watching him in his studded tabard that everybody will be wearing in the future bell rings, shinsuke does his oh did you want a tieup i'm just going to kick you in the knees baron talks about his storied history of fucking sami up nobody cares, you balding twat kevin has briefly tried to take shinsuke on at the kicking game, failed, and returned to mastering headlocks shinsuke's kicked off a comeback with a lovely single leg dropkick nearfall off his knees to the corner baron acknowledges that shinsuke is dangerous, my no shit alarm is destroying my eardrums (daniel, can you please take the batteries out of that) baron's still trying to talk smack about kevin, but his particular brand of smack is just shite meanwhile, reverse exploder to kinshasa for the win a lightly underwhelming main event, tbh, but shinsuke's clearly been holding back on the in-ring stuff since moving up which makes perfect sense shinsuke does his poses, corbin runs in to end of days him so hard his stupid hat comes off crowd are not best pleased i'm mostly just concerned as to why he's dressed like the second-rate pot dealer at every college (baron, that is) (i would love it if people at my college dressed like shinsuke) and we fade on baron awkwardly posing at the top of the ramp and having no idea what do with his arms halfhearted shimmy as the show ends and now i'm off to watch talking smack and make shitty political jokes you can't stop me you're not my real dad (one of you reading this is my real dad and can stop me) (also possibly daniel's uncle, if he actually reads this) (memo to self: stop antagonising authority figures for literally no reason)

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Finding Kurt Hummel: The Hurt Locker, Part 1

Masterpost

6x04: The Hurt Locker, Part 1

It’s weird that this is, really, the only two parter of the entire show.   I mean some episodes had drastic cliffhangers, and others aired together, but this is one of two -- which makes me wonder if this was originally all going to be one episode.  It’s hard to tell.  

We’re also getting into that cracky, cracky fourth wall breaking part of the show.  I know some of you don’t like it - that it feels like they’re putting too much of a spotlight on fandom and the audience.  I guess it doesn’t really bug me? I think they’ve always done this, even so far back as mid-season 1, it’s just a bit more concentrated now -- and I think there’s a part of them that just didn’t give a shit either.  Not many people were watching at this point anyway.  Idk...  

The Hurt Locker

So - we start this episode off with the bizarre crackiness that is Sue’s hurt locker -- where she her psychopathic tendencies and her meta commentary come to collide.  And when she’s not making voodoo dolls out of Will and Rachel (and plotting that bizarre and icky hypnotism stuff on Sam) she’s daydreaming about Klaine’s fabulous gay wedding because it’s her dream to be flower girl.  

Now - at his point, I’m not sure I can even meta this.  I mean, yeah, I can go into the whole thing where Sue’s always had a soft spot for Kurt - and she has.  And a lot of this is wanting Kurt to have a happy wedding (because apart she finds them both shrill and annoying).  But, you know what, let’s just go with it.  Sue’s mega shrine to Klaine is really a stand in for us shippers.  

Honestly, I think it’s kind of funny.  This particular episode - are the writers poking at our eccentricity? Maybe, sure.  But - it’s also celebratory in its own twisted way.  And idk, in a way - Sue’s pushing them back together because ‘we’ want them back together.  But also - because the narrative (the writers) want them back together, too.  

Would they have gotten back together if Sue hadn’t gotten intervened?  Idk - that’s not the story the writers are telling.  So, if you want to explore that, go write the fanfic about it! But the writers are telling the Klaine gets back together story -- and this is the insane way the chose to do it.  

Alright, so beyond the fact that this is utterly terrifying - I find it fascinated that she places Blaine as the bride.  Make of it as you will - but I do think it’s an interesting departure from the idea that Kurt is the ‘girl’ of the relationship.  [side note - they are two guys - there is not a girl in their relationship.]

Blouses

Alright - so Sue hauls Kurt into her office and you know what? He’s totally not having it.  He’s been done with her shit for years, and I’d like to point out that his unwilling attitude is their from the beginning of the scene.  The minute he sits down, he’s over it - and that’s before Sue goes on to declare that his life ambition is to get back together with Kurt.  

I also - kinda think the whole idea of blouses, light and airy femme-ish gays, is kinda funny.  

So, here’s my thing about this scene.  Kurt firmly tells Sue that he doesn’t want to get back together with Blaine.  And in this scene, it may be firm, but it’s not harsh.  

At the end of the series, Kurt’s going to tell Sue that he’s grateful she pushed he and Blaine back together -- because apart, and even after trying to heed to Britany’s advice and move on - Kurt’s not happy.  In fact, as he says in the series finale, he’s miserable.  So yeah - him telling Sue that he doesn’t want to get back together with Blaine is sorta like when he was declaring them friends and wanting ‘desperately’ to be over Blaine back in season 4.  He’s trying - because he doesn’t think it’ll happen.  

But beyond that - it’s good to remember that this is Sue we’re talking about.  She once tried to shoot Brittany from a canon.  She’s been an adversary since the beginning. Do you really think he’s going to trust her? Or really take any part of her shenanigans?  No - he really doesn’t want to do any of that, nor open up emotionally at all.  

The last episode was extreme on Kurt showing emotion - and in this one, he’s closed right up - because, god damn it, it freakin’ hurts when he goes there.  So why not listen to Brittany? Why not just compartmentalize and move on - because he thinks Blaine has.  

Anyway - back to Sue - case in point, at the end of the scene, she declares that she’s set up an invitational to destroy the glee club once and for all.  And she tells him that straight up (instead of voice over!!). So yeah - Kurt is not going to be open about his most vulnerable emotions to someone who is actively trying to destroy him in other ways.  I mean - that’d just be stupid.  

Bears

So... there’s an invitational.  Did you know there was an invitational during season 1? Yup - it was the episode with April Rhodes if you can believe it.  

Anyway, Rachel’s already talked to Will about going easy.  And now - Kurt and Rachel confront Blaine.  And Blaine is having none of it.  And I love it.  Because for the first time since... season 2? Blaine’s standing up for himself - being his own individual person, and not caving in to whatever Kurt wants.  That’s actually a good thing - because one of the issues they were having was that Blaine wasn’t his own person - he was kind of lost in Klaine and I’m thrilled to see him doing alright on his own.  

Meanwhile - if you watch closely, there is a slight look of amusement among the eye-rollyness we see from him here.  Kurt never wanted Blaine to be his lapdog either.  They’re on an equal playing field now - which is actually pretty good! 

So - in the middle of all the stand-off over invitationals, Blaine gets a text that there’s an intruder in his and Karofsky’s apartment.  I kind of love that they don’t call the police or anything but all go running over there to check it out.  This show and logic, man...  

Anyway - I think it’s kind of cool that Kurt (and Rachel) both go over to help Blaine! If the first few episodes of the season were about Kurt coming to terms with his feelings and the status quo, the next few (as told by Sue in the next episode) are about Kurt and Blaine becoming friends again.  And no matter how much is going on with the competition between glee clubs.  Kurt and Blaine are still in each other’s circles, and are still there to help each other out.  

So, um, yeah, there’s a literal bear in the apartment (and I think that the Karofsky freaking out about it part of it is to a) be funny, and b) show that Karofsky isn’t the scary dude we all knew from season two).  It is bizarre that a literal bear would be in the (brightly rainbow colored) apartment.  But, you know, that’s Sue for you - and Kurt catches on pretty quickly.  

I also kind of wonder if this is the first time Kurt’s been over there.  Huh. 

Delicious Porcelain Rump Roast

So, Kurt’s second trip back to Sue’s office is less lighthearted and annoyed - and more just plain angry.  And, I used to think this was slightly over played by Chris, but now that I’m watching this within context, I think maybe it’s not... 

Sue, literally, put a live bear in someone’s apt - and even if it was a cub, it’s still incredibly dangerous - and could have hurt someone badly.  Not to mention the cost of getting it out was probably not cheap.  Sue’s meddling dangerously in his life now - so of course he’s going to be adamant that he doesn’t want her help -- because it’s supposedly the only way it’s going to get her to stop.  

He also takes the moment to tell Sue that he’s met someone online.  And I have to figure that after the Brittany conversation, he went onto the dating sites he was using before he figured out his feelings, and tried again.  And this time met a dude who seems to really like Golden Girls, too, and I’m sure they’ve been up talking a lot.  Which I’m sure is a nice thing -- because having fun talking about old TV shows vs drowning in the misery of watching the person you’re deeply in love with live with your old tormentor - I can see why Kurt’s in the mindset he’s in.  

Anyway, he tells Sue to stop - but then Sue goes on another meta rant about how he can’t date because the dude will eat him alive because, let’s face it, after six years, Kurt Hummel has become a delicious little porcelain rump roast.  Thank you, Glee, for that nice long pan up and down Kurt’s full body.  Lol.  

As funny as Sue’s whole thing is, Kurt backs away slowly because she is freakin’ crazy, and she does need to butt out cause it really isn’t any of her business.  

Prep Work

So - this little scene is about Rachel and Kurt being teachers - and dumping a lot of exposition about the invitationals.  There’s not a whole lot of meta-ish things to say (other than Kurt’s literally twitchy at Rachel’s new piano skills), but it’s a fun and comedic little scene - where they try to give a nice pep talk to the newbies, but you know, there are only four of them and there are lot of things that could go wrong.  

Btw - is it just me or is Lea Michelle extra orange in this episode? 

I suppose this is the point where I should probably mention that season 6′s actual driving plot line is the same as season 1 - to get these kids to sectionals.  And a lot of effort is placed into that, and you know, we have a tendency just to forget that because we’re so focused on the Klaine aspect of everything.  But I’m saying this now because I think when looking at it in full context, the last three-ish episodes before the end make a lot more sense when we see that the story isn’t about the personal lives of Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson (or even, really, much of Rachel Berry) but getting the glee club back on track.  And, eh.  Fine.  I would have preferred a different direction - but they’re trying hard to recapture that season 1 stuff.  And while I enjoy season six more than maybe most people - I still think they could have gone in maybe a more interesting and less rehashed direction for their last season. 

But, eh, they’re doing a full circle thing - so I get it.  

Ex-Lovebirds

So, Blaine comes in looking for Rachel for piano lessons - but she’s off sharing a pretzel with Sam because -- you know what, let’s not talk about that plot line.  Anyway, Kurt’s in the auditorium, too - and they both kinda eye-roll Figgins (who’s been reduced to janitor, btw).  Which reminds me - the scene before this is the scene where Figgins’s sister shows up as the Carmel High principal, and it is utterly one of my favorite things they’ve ever done.  

As soon as Figgins leave - we get Blaine in an upset pout.  And you know what, Kurt’s gonna go ahead and see what’s up.  Cause you know what? Kurt does care - and because they care.  And because they’re getting that friendship back.  It’s interesting to me - that even though there’s a high level of angst in this scene (and god is there) our beloved obligatory Klaine scene is the only scene in which Kurt is mostly relaxed? I mean - he’s not having to yell at Sue, or be professor to a bunch of kids, or have a super awkward date.  He’s just Kurt here - and Blaine’s just Blaine.  And I think it’s the first time in a while that they’re kind of openly just being themselves! 

The awkwardness is stems from the fact that this conversation? It’s about being romantically involved with other people.  Which - is a super weird conversation to be having with your ex.  But interestingly, pushing that awkwardness aside, they both seem to be there for each other.  Kurt’s going to reassure Blaine that Sue’s just messing with he and Karofsky - and they aren’t actually related, while Blaine’s going to wish Kurt best of luck on his upcoming date.  

Even if they didn’t get back together - I get the impression that they still benefit from being in each other’s lives.  As much as this scene is awkward - neither of them are being open to anyone else on the show right now.  It’s baby steps for them - but they were (are) also best friends - and not to diminish the friendships they have with Sam and Rachel respectively, there’s a bond that they share that’s...different than what they share with Sam and Rachel. 

There’s an interesting additional layer of complexity on this scene, though.  First of all, Kurt telling Blaine about his date -- it’s the first signifies to Blaine that he can be upset with Kurt all he wants, but he’s got to sort out his feelings.  Because if he doesn’t, maybe he and Kurt are really over.  

See - before Kurt says his little admission, they discuss Sue trying to get them back together.  And Blaine’s very adamant that as nice it was that they’re each other’s first everythings -- they’ve moved on and don’t want to get back together.  Blaine’s totally on the same page on that sentiment.  Maybe even more so than Kurt, because Kurt’s definitely more hesitant when they discuss it.  But then, bam! Kurt has a date and -- oh shit reality time for Blaine.  

Kurt says they’re being adult about it -- and they really are.  But saying you’re over your ex and actually being over your ex are two different things.  And I think this is the wake-up call Blaine needed. 

Meanwhile, Kurt is open and honest with Blaine -- and ACTUALLY TALKING TO HIM! Can we not down play that aspect? Communication has always been their hard spot, but here, despite the level of difficulty, they’re having and open and more mature conversation.  And yeah - angst flying everywhere -- but you know what? They’re growing up, too, and will be soon ready to be in that adult relationship. 

Well - maturity aside, it’s still not an easy conversation to have, and Blaine kinda gets outta there before they can get into it any more.  

There’s another awkward hug - not as weird as the Scandals one, but it’s always strange having to distance yourself from someone you’ve been very intimate with - and while they’re beginning to get comfortable with each other again, the physical intimacy boundaries are still very awkward.  

But then we have this last little moment of Kurt by himself.  Despite actually being interested in going on this date - he’s not Blaine, and that hurt and sadness and longing are still there.  He can yell at Sue all he wants, and he can tell Blaine they’re fine all he wants, but when he’s alone, he allows his misery to show through.  

Walter

Oh man - where do I even begin with this, lol

So, first of all, Walter totally was not what Kurt was expecting - and Kurt’s first reaction was to get the hell outta there.  It is creepy - this dude in his 50s purposely did not disclose the fact that he’s twice this kids’ age - and had kids, to get a date.  I’m sorry, like, creepy vibes all over.  I don’t necessarily think Walter turns out to be that way - but Kurt has every right to just jet -- which he kind of tries to do at first, honestly. 

Kurt’s face when Walter says he’s on instagram! 

So - here’s the thing to remember about this.  Despite the fact that this whole Walter thing is going to go on for a few episodes -- Glee is going out of their way to show that this is totally not a thing to last.  First of all, Walter is much older and just not on the same wave length as Kurt -- I mean, all the old people jokes from the earlier episodes in the season were totally setting this up -- but Kurt doesn’t necessarily want to date anyone his dad’s age.  

Secondly, this dude’s got a ton of baggage - he’s divorced, has kids, and is just coming to terms with the fact that he’s gay -- and which can be super awkward on a whole lot of levels.  There are a ton of red flags here, which is why, again, Kurt’s first instinct is to get the hell outta there. But it’s also a way for the writers to show that -- this isn’t a love connection or a good match.  Enjoying the Golden Girls is not a basis for a full functioning romantic relationship when there are a ton of other red flags going on.  

But to clarify a little bit - it’s obvious that Kurt and Walter are at two very different points of their lives, and that alone shows that this isn’t something that’s meant to last.  It’s here to be the last roadblock before Kurt and Blaine reconcile.  

I will say that I do find it kinda funny that Kurt got completely distracted by someone agreeing with him about Golden Girls being the best sitcom ever.  

However! Here’s the thing - Kurt’s got a ton of baggage, too, and like Adam - I’m a little sad we didn’t see these midgames explored just a tag more - because it would have been fun to see just how much Kurt goes on about Blaine unintentionally and be just as awkward and weird as Walter is when he’s talking about his ex-wife and kids.  

Why does Kurt end up sticking around? Because fundamentally - Kurt is a good person.  And he knows what it’s like to be gay, and just need someone there to know that you’re not alone.  He doesn’t owe Walter anything, but Kurt does have compassion, even if it’s for this late bloomer gay.  

Meanwhile, I know what you’re thinking -- do you think they hook up?  After this scene, no.  Walter states he’d like to start as friends, and that’s the only reason Kurt sticks around.  

Later? Well - I could make a case for either way.  The narrative is going to go out of its way to show how they’re rather platonic (really - while Blaine and Karofsky get jokes about their sex life, Kurt gets jokes about how he doesn’t have sex).   I also think that being someone’s first experience could be pressure that Kurt may not want to take on.   

At the same time, I think Kurt enjoys sex - and kind of the way Blaine’s not letting his relationship with Karofsky be intense, I think Kurt could be fine with some casual sex.  I think he has gotten to that point in his life where sex and love/romance don’t need to be so tangled with one another.  He’s still in love with Blaine, his heart won’t change.  But enjoying the physical side of things - I think he’s grown up enough to feel okay with doing that.  

And like Adam - it’s your choice.  I’m kind of indifferent on it, and like I said, could easily make a case for either one. 

That all said - do I think Walter was a necessity? No - I think there are other ways you can show someone moving on from a relationship that don’t involve dating another person.  But this is a) Glee - where they don’t know how else to tell these kinds of stories and b) mainstream society in which it’s routine to tell stories like this.  So I get it.  

Invitationals (Part 1)

Meanwhile, back in the overarching plot of the season - invitationals happen.  And Will decides to not do as Rachel asks and actually preps his group and not throw it.  To be fair, she should have never asked.  Still - he’s kind of a dick about it.  

And we’re forced to sit through two unnecessary vocal adrenaline songs because the episode was running a little light on music.  

I’m with ya Kurt.  Because while VA is flashy, there is almost no vocal showmanship when your lyrics consist solely of ‘rock lobster’ and ‘whip it’.  How can these even be songs for a glee club? Ug, this show.  

The only meaningful thing is that Kurt shares a ‘wtf’ look with Blaine.  They may have opposite groups, but they both can agree that Will and VA and this whole ending five minutes is just stupid.  

Get back to the more interesting plot, show, no one cares...