#Kris by Karen Boye

[thatsmybook]

Gif by @leojfitz

One of my favourite things about episode 6 of season 3 is that it almost has a complete-movie feel about it. To me, it makes sense that it was released seperate to the first five episodes of the season, because its structure is so unique, and it screams finale with the same weight that a pilot episode tells you what a show is about. It's like a "Picture Perfect Movie", while underneath there is so much heartache and things are anything but perfect. It's not perfect because our Wilmon seem like they'll never be together, and it's not perfect because we're having to say goodbye to the show and none of us want to go.

The episode starts with Wille saying that he has to fix his own problems. He knows this and has had insights about it since he read the book Kris. Kris incapsulates the dilemma that Wille has always had. When he looks at the book twice this episode, he is remembering all that he and Simon learned from the book that applies to them. As Wille says, he understands Simon. He DOES know why they've broken up. Throughout the episode we see that Wille understands what he wants to do, but he is trying to figure out how to do that and to reconcile with what is still standing in his way, in his mind.

Simon similarly is recalling their conversation around the book Kris. He understands Wille's dilemma, he always has. I've heard the audience talk about how Simon doesn't understand the pressures Wille is under. I disagree. He always has, from the very beginning, and in a very unique and often subtle way. From the start, he knows to keep his relationship with Wille hidden when he tells Sara - he has to hide it for his sake. Wille never asks him to do that, he just knows to keep it secret. He accepts Wille's terms, but he doesn't like it. He understands as a queer person that Wille has some work to do to work out what he wants so that he is not going backwards and forwards all the time. He tells him to take his time doing that. Simon, not wanting to be a secret personally, is separate from what Wille's own needs are. Whether their needs align at all in the future is something that Simon respects. But it has to be done for their own sake for it to be genuine. It's a realisation one can only come to on their own. Simon never asks Wille to come out for them to be together.

Simon realises that Wille is inspired by his feelings for him to make changes. So when he stops wanting to make those changes in season three, Simon is disappointed, but he understands. He is still going through his process. He can't just throw everything he's learned from the monarchy out the window. He questions him about why he loves the monarchy when it makes him feel so bad. Simon knows about Wille's pressures just by observing him.

In this last episode, he has broken up with Wille, but he is still there for him. He is still helping Wille through his process. He let's him tell him all he needs to at the lake. He is insistent to him that they have not broken up because of Wille but because of his circumstances. Then his song is a full-on reminder to help Wille remember all his previous convictions about what is fake, how he can be free, and what his true feelings are. What he deserves to have: to be listened to and to be allowed to grieve and be his full self. Once again, Simon is telling Wille that he should be free for his own sake. Not for Simon. Simon understands and validates Wille's needs. His final goodbye and distancing himself from the monarchy is for his own sake. Again, not wanting to be in a secret relationship and not wanting to be in a relationship with the monarchy, are his own decisions (having tried it out), for his own sake.

Neither of these things are ultimatums. In relationships, compromises are made through trial and error, and Wilmon demonstrate real life relationships so well. Their mature decisions in this final episode are full of self-love and selflessness. Neither one wants to put pressure on the other that could lead to future resentment. Also, their decisions are based on what could make them most content even if they were to go their separate ways again.

The miscommunications in this season were surface level. They both understood each other when they had time to reflect and remember. Their relationship has always been the business of the outside world once that sex tape was released. When they were able to let go of those influences on them, literally and in their own minds, they were finally able to be together freely. They no longer had to mask their true feelings for fear of hurting the other person. Their hidden feelings being: Wille's guilt for what Simon is going through to be his boyfriend and Simon's depression brought on by public bombardment for daring to be Wille's boyfriend.