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the-claire-bitch-project · 5 years ago

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King of My Heart - Three - B.H.

Summary: Cassidy King is an Olympian. Four years ago she competed in Rio. Unfortunately, she didn’t live up to expecations. Now she’s preparing to go to the trials to compete again in Tokyo. After four years of swimming with a team that doesn’t feel like a team, she’s finally found a friend. Ben Jones is also preparing for the trials, and he’s felt like an outcast in other ways. With a dual-citizenship and a quiet personality, their teammates treat him like he doesn’t deserve to compete for Team USA. Together, they’ll push each other harder and faster to perfection.

Pairing: Ben Hardy x OC

AU: Collegiate/Olympic Swimming

Word Count: 6.5k

Warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, violence, sexual harassment (commentary)

A/N: Thank you as always to @bensbuttercup for this beautiful moodboard and for hyping me up. Thank you to @hollandlovely for beta reading for me!

Over the next few weeks, Cassidy fell into an easy routine. Finals ended and Gwil left town for his summer internship, leaving Priya alone to devote all of her excess ‘must care for something’ energy to her succulents and Cassidy. Cassidy found herself not having to pack or make her own food because Priya made so much for her, and in return she felt she should support Priya through the end of the softball season.

“Hey do you want to come to Priya’s softball game tonight?” Cassidy asked Ben as they walked to practice one day. With no classes to attend afterwards, they walked in their swimsuits, towels around their waists and swim bags on their backs. “Gwil always used to go and now he’s gone and she’s been cooking all this food for me,” Cassidy held up the tupperware container she was eating oatmeal out of the punctuate her point, “and I thought I’d go support her.”

“Okay if I go to your roommate’s softball game,” Ben started, “you have to come to my roommate’s baseball game with me. He’s been dying for me to go to a game.”

“Hey I like baseball,” Cassidy shrugged. “Baseball pants look nice.”

“You literally hang out with me in a speedo all the time,” Ben laughed, sounding only a little offended.

“Yes, and you look fantastic, Benedict,” Cassidy joked, reminded of how Ben said his roommate liked to call him by any full name except his real one. “But I’m tired of your ass and I need to see other asses to feel fulfilled.”

Ben rolled his eyes and sighed. “Fine I understand,” he pouted. “But I won’t be happy about it.”

“Hey, we’re not dating,” Cassidy pointed out.

“Yet,” Ben said with a grin. He reached for Cassidy’s hips and she dodged away, squealing as Ben lunged after her, catching her around the waist and swinging her around in a circle.

“Hands off, Jones,” she laughed as he set her on her feet again, and swatted him away. “We’re just training.”

“Yes this is how I treat all my training buddies,” Ben said with mock-seriousness as he reached to open the door for Cassidy, who sniffed haughtily and sailed past him.

“I’ll see you in the pool.” Cassidy paused at the locker room door, glancing over her shoulder to smile at Ben. In the fluorescent lighting, his blond hair, spiked up on one side from sleep, seemed to shimmer like pool water in the sun. His lips slowly curled up into a smile, before he disappeared into the men’s locker room.

The tile was cool under Cassidy’s feet as she walked across the locker room, her flip flops slapping against her heels, the sound echoing throughout the room. It seemed emptier now. Most of the girls went home for the summer, training with summer teams. It cleared out the locker room for the famous swim camp the university hosted for high school swimmers, known for the severity of its training. Cassidy herself had attended every summer since she turned 12.

She remembered the first time she’d stepped into the locker room at Texas. Feeling small compared to the older girls who walked by with Longhorns on their caps. Goosebumps had sprung up all over her body, but what was really fear could be easily passed off as cold.

Now when she walked in, it just felt familiar. The pale orange tile on the walls was a comforting sight. She dropped her bag on the bench in front of her cubby, and hung her towel on the hook, trading it for her mesh bag of gear, paddles and a pull buoy. Her goggles and cap tucked into her swimsuit. A water bottle ready to be filled at the fountain by the pool with the coolest water. As always Cassidy was prepared.

Ben stepped out of the locker room and found Cassidy already filling her water bottle at the fountain. A big grin stretched across his face. He couldn’t help it. It happened every time he saw her. Walking up behind her, his own water bottle in his hands, he could see her goggles threatening to fall from where she’d tucked them into her swimsuit. He couldn’t get the words out before they fell, but he managed to lean down and catch them at her knee, saving them from getting scratched on the ground.

“Seems like I’m always saving your goggles,” he said breathlessly as he stood up, dangling them by the strap in front of her face.

Cassidy snatched them from his hand. “Need I remind you that you made me drop them the first time?” Ben leaned his elbow on the water fountain, looking up at her with an affectionate smirk.

“Guess I just have that effect on you,” he teased. Cassidy splashed him in the face with her water and he shook his head, wiping the cold droplets from his eyes.

“Bastard,” she muttered. “I hate you.”

“No you liiiiiiiike me,” Ben said, smile stretching into a grin as Cassidy rolled her eyes. He’d been enjoying making fun of her for her admission of feelings. In truth, it seemed like she was trying to pretend it had never happened, and banter was the only way to get her to show him it was still true. He needed to be reminded of her feelings or it felt like he might die of anticipation for when they could actually be together.

“We’re just here to practice, Jones,” Cassidy reminded him as she screwed the lid onto her water bottle and walked towards lane 4. She’d moved over to practice next to Ben in the last week. Talking over one lane line was easier than two.

“Calling someone by their last name is peak flirting, King,” Ben called over his shoulder as he filled his own water bottle. He was so distracted watching Cassidy bend over and sort through her bag that he overfilled it and water sloshed over his hand.

“Who knew you were such a sappy romantic?” she answered dryly.

“Yeah Ben, who knew you had the hots for Cassidy?”

Ben whirled around. Nobody else was supposed to be there. Nobody else practiced in the morning.

Hunter Davis and Oliver Young were standing there, still in their warmups, arms crossed. Hunter’s blonde hair was spiked up with gel, as if he wasn’t even planning to practice, and Oliver’s dark hair was wet, like he’d just showered.

“What the fuck are y’all doing here?” Cassidy nearly spat. A bright red anger spread across her face under her freckles. Her fingers balled into tight fists, but Ben could see her entire body shaking, either with frustration or nerves, maybe both.

“Oh you know,” Hunter sneered, “we figured if we started practicing in the morning like Jones, we could get you to help us out.”

Ever the sidekick, Oliver piped up from slightly behind Hunter. “Like you did for Lochte at the games,” he taunted, miming a jacking off motion into his mouth. “Like you’re doing for Jones now.”

Ben saw it happen in slow motion. He froze. Powerless. A cold shiver went down his spine as he saw Cassidy pull back her fist and slam it into Oliver’s eye socket. He went down like a sack of flour and Cassidy turned to Hunter. She grabbed his shoulders and kneed him so hard in the balls, Ben winced, watching Hunter’s eyes water.

Cassidy leaned over him and hissed, “you know that rumor isn’t true, and if you know what’s good for you, you’ll stop perpetuating it.”

This time, when Casidy drew back her arm, Ben darted forward and grabbed her, wrapping one arm around her waist, the other across her chest, but her right arm still flailed, and her elbow knocked into his cheek.

“Let me go!” she cried, struggling against him, her other elbow digging into his stomach. He backed up and felt the block behind him, an idea popping into his head.

“Cassidy calm down,” he grunted, one last attempt. “You don’t want to do this.” But Cassidy kept kicking, so Ben turned, lifting her off the ground and tossing her into the cold water with a splash.

The cold water washed over Cassidy’s face, and she came up spluttering, spitting water out of her mouth and brushing loose strands of hair off her forehead. With a deep breath, and the cold water surrounding her, she felt calmer. What had come over her? Who was she, going around hitting people?

“I’m sorry,” she whimpered, watching Hunter and Oliver pick themselves up, a black eye already blooming on Oliver’s face.

“What’s going on here?” Tears pricked the corners of Cassidy’s eyes as she looked up to see Coach’s disappointed face looming down at her.

Both Hunter and Oliver began talking at once.

“We just wanted to practice in the morning!”

“Cassidy punched me in the face!”

“We didn’t do anything!”

“She just went crazy!”

Coach cut them off with one sharp grunt. Hunter and Oliver fell silent. Cassidy swam silently to the edge and rested her chin on her hands.

“I’m sorry, Coach,” she murmured. “I can train at my home pool for the rest of the summer. I know fighting is against the rules.”

Coach looked back and forth between Hunter and Oliver and Cassidy. He raised one eyebrow at the smug look on Hunter’s face, and the way Oliver sneered at Cassidy. Finally, he turned to Ben.

“Ben,” he said softly, “you witnessed this?”

“Yes sir.”

“Okay,” Coach nodded. “Davis and Young, wait outside my office. I want to talk to Ben.” He turned to Cassidy, a soft look in his eyes. “Cassidy, just go ahead and do your workout. I’ll talk to you last.”

“Yes sir,” Cassidy nodded, unable to meet his eyes. She knew for sure she was off the team. Hunter and Oliver’s testimonies against her were airtight. Nothing Ben said was going to change that, and nobody ever listened to Cassidy.

Begrudgingly, she pulled herself out of the water and reached for her cap and goggles, but she struggled to pull her cap over her wet hair. On top of the slick silicone, her fingers shook. She tried three times before Ben took the cap out of her hands. He slipped it over her head, catching all her curls. When she looked up, his green eyes were wide.

“It’s gonna be fine,” he promised, squeezing her hands once before turning away and trailing after Coach and the other boys.

Cassidy pulled her goggles over her eyes after a quick glance at her workout sheet, and dove into the cool water. Every stroke was hard. Every kick was a struggle. Her body wracked with sobs as she tried to swim, stopping every few strokes to clear her goggles, fogged up by her tears.

Continuing to fight through her warmup, her hands shook. She could barely keep her fingers together to cup the water. Her lungs burned with every breath and underwater she released the air with small whimpers that reached only her ears. She knew she should stop swimming. It was getting harder and harder to take in a breath. Her chest burned with the effort, and her arms flopped against the surface of the water.

She needed air, and rest, she turned on her back, opening her eyes. The ceiling lights went in and out of focus as she sucked air into her lungs, but she felt herself sinking. Her eyes fluttered shut. The water lapped at her face, some droplets spilling into her mouth. With one last deep breath, she relaxed. Just as she slipped under, she heard Ben scream.

“Cassidy!”

The water enveloped her completely, like a soft bed she could rest on. Bubbles escaped her open mouth as she sank beneath the surface, letting her arms float up, her body relaxing completely for the first time in about a decade. I’ll just sleep here.

She barely noticed the muscled arm wrap around her chest. Someone kicked her up to the surface. Her chin bounced against her chest as they broke into the air. A hand gripped her chin and tilted her face up, the back of her head resting against her rescuer’s shoulder. She drew shallow breaths. Slowly, she peeled her eyes open and turned her head slightly, catching a flash of blonde hair in the corner of her eye.

“Ben,” she croaked weakly. The arm around her chest tightened as she went limp again, unable to keep her eyes open.

Ben turned her around as they reached the wall, lifting one of her arms into the air, and a hand closed tight around her wrist and began to lift her. Someone else grabbed her other wrist and caught the strap of her swimsuit, hauling her out of the water. Her legs banged against the wall until someone gripped the back of her knees and laid her out on the tile.

“Cassidy,” she heard Ben’s voice as someone peeled her goggles and cap off her face. She wrenched her eyes open to see his worried face right above hers, blocking the fluorescent lights from the ceiling.

“Hey there, Jones,” Cassidy managed. She stared, half-lidded at his lips, watched him chew his lower lip with worry.

“You scared me, King,” he whispered, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead. His hand found hers and he entwined their fingers, squeezing tightly.

“Sorry,” Cassidy murmured, squeezing her eyes shut as she started to sit up. Ben sat back on his heels and helped steady her as a pounding headache overtook her. “I don’t know what happened. I was really upset and I was crying and I couldn’t breathe and--”

“Breathe,” Coach knelt down on her other side and put a hand on her shoulder. “I think you had a panic attack.”

“A panic attack?”

Coach nodded. “I’m sorry, Cassidy. I shouldn’t have left you alone like that. Not without talking to you first.”

“I just,” Cassidy shrugged, “I got overwhelmed because I know it’s my last time to swim here.” Coach looked confused.

“Why would it be your last time to swim here?”

“You’re kicking me off the team aren’t you?” Cassidy asked incredulously. “Violence is against every policy.”

Coach softened and chuckled a little bit. “Getting upset when someone sexually harasses you isn’t against team policies.”

“What I--”

“Ben told me everything,” Coach assured her, giving her shoulder a squeeze before stepping back. “And I think Davis and Young have something to say to you.”

Ben still held Cassidy’s hand as she looked up. Hunter had stripped down to his speedo, and was soaking wet. That was weird. She looked up at Ben, his blonde hair still completely dry.

“Wait,” Cassidy held up her hands. “You jumped in to save me?”

Hunter shrugged. “I was a lifeguard in high school. And you’re my teammate.” He looked down sheepishly, not meeting her eyes. “I wasn’t going to let anything happen to you.”

“And we’re really sorry,” Oliver added. His bruise was getting worse, his eye swelling up. She’d really socked him. “You don’t have to forgive us, but we shouldn’t have harassed you all this time.”

“We’ll tell everyone to stop spreading the rumor,” Hunter promised, finally looking Cassidy in the eye. “And we wanted to tell you that we think you’re a great swimmer and you’re going to do the US proud at the Olympics.”

“I--” Cassidy was at a loss for words. Her mouth gaped open. “Uh, thanks guys.” They both nodded and turned to go. She looked over at Coach with one raised eyebrow. “What did you say to them?”

“Told them if they ever wanted a chance to train here again they better apologize to my best swimmer,” Coach grinned. “And that if they ever harassed a woman like that again I’d personally castrate them.”

“And they’ll be gone for the rest of the summer,” Ben added. He tried to hide the grin on his face, but couldn’t.

“They might have made the trials but they have no right to train here after that sort of behavior,” Coach confirmed. “Cassidy, why didn’t you tell me what was going on?”

Cassidy shrugged. “I guess I figured, this is kind of a boys club and nobody would take me seriously.” She might as well be honest. Coach was the type who could handle that. He looked down and sighed.

“I’m sorry you felt that way. I let you down, Cassidy.”

“I know you won’t let it happen again,” Cassidy said.

“I sure won’t,” Coach chuckled. He shook his head and stood up. Ben followed, pulling Cassidy to her feet. He clapped his hands together. “Okay, you are now obligated to take the rest of the day off.”

“What about workouts?” Ben asked. Cassidy elbowed him lightly.

Coach shook his head. “Nope, I insist you go have some fun instead. Start your taper early.” He began walking towards his office. “If I see either of you two here for the rest of the day, I will actually kick you out. Go!”

Cassidy didn’t have to be told twice. She dragged Ben towards the locker room and dashed into the women’s with a quick squeeze of his hand before she let go. Like she was afraid Coach was going to come in and tell her it was a joke, she gathered all her stuff and ran outside. Ben was already there, leaning against the wall, his towel slung low around his hips. When he saw her, his lips split into a grin.

“Took you long enough,” he teased.

“Shut your mouth or I’ll shut it for you,” Cassidy answered quickly. Then she went bright red when Ben smirked at her.

“Only if you shut it with your lips,” he said hopefully, reaching down for her hand. Cassidy wiggled away from him.

“Keep it in your speedo, Jones,” she muttered. “Remember the rules.” She turned and began to walk away.

“But we have the day off!” Ben whined. He caught her wrist in his hand and pulled her back against him, wrapping his arms around her waist. “Plus it was super hot watching you kick ass like that.”

Cassidy slid her hands up his chest to hold onto his shoulders, lifting her chin to look into his eyes. He looked so hopeful, chewing nervously on his lip.

“Ben,” she sighed, “don’t you think it’ll be so much more worth it if we just wait until we’re done with all the stress of the trials and everything?”

Ben sighed. “Okay.” He squeezed her hips. “Is this okay though? Touching you?” He gave a little smile. “‘Cause I don’t wanna give this up.” He reached up and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, burying his face in her wet hair. Cassidy wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her ear against his chest so she could hear his heart pound.

“C’mon let’s go,” she said, pulling away. “We have an entire day just to hang out.”

“Lead the way,” Ben responded, letting Cassidy take his hand for the walk back to their building.

An hour and two showers later, Ben sat back against Cassidy’s pillows as she put some product in her hair. He watched her scrunch the curls back to life, humming along to whatever song was playing in her head. Her tattoo stretched and warped as she used the muscles in her shoulder, and he suddenly got curious.

“Did your tattoo hurt a lot?” he called. She looked over at him and smiled.

“Thinking of getting one?” she asked. She lined her finger up with the arch of her eyebrow and ran it back to part her hair, giving it a few final scrunches before she walked over and flopped down on her stomach next to Ben.

“Once I go to the Olympics.” He shrugged, still staring down at the rings on her shoulder. He reached a hand out, then pulled it back.

“You can touch it,” Cassidy flipped her hair off that shoulder, “I don’t mind. But it just feels like normal skin.” Ben reached out, his fingers shaking slightly, and lightly ran the pad of his index finger around the ring closest to him. Tracing each ring one-by-one, Ben smiled.

“You didn’t answer my question,” he reminded her as he sat back again. Cassidy, seeming to find this distance unbearable, rolled on her side, facing away from Ben, and scooted back to press herself against his side. He swallowed, but got the hint, and turned to wrap his arms around her, inhaling the scent of her hair product. It smelled like coconuts.

“I can only describe it as a cat scratching a bad sunburn,” Cassidy mused. “The one on my ribs hurt a lot more.”

“Why a shark?”

“They’re the greatest predators in the ocean,” she explained. “And they’ve been around forever. Longer than trees. I guess I kind of want to be a shark.” “You are,” Ben murmured. He slipped his arm under her waist and linked his fingers together over her tummy, tugging her closer. Cassidy turned over in his arms, her wet curls sliding across Ben’s nose and making him sneeze.

“Bless you,” she murmured. She stared either at his chin or his lips, Ben couldn’t tell.

“Thanks,” he muttered back, wishing he could just lean in and kiss her, but he jumped when thunder rumbled outside. Cassidy scrunched up her nose and giggled, tucking her face into Ben’s chest as her shoulders shook.

“You afraid of thunder, Jones?”

“I don’t like sudden noises,” he said sheepishly. As the thunder crackled again, this time louder, Ben involuntarily fisted Cassidy’s tank top in his hands, all his muscles tensing up. “You think the game will get rained out?”

“Nah,” Cassidy mumbled. “It’ll be over in an hour or so and the field will dry out by this evening.”

“Okay,” Ben sighed.

As the thunder got louder and more frequent, rain began to pound hard against the windows. Cassidy gently ran her fingers up and down Ben’s spine to distract him, but he was still jumping with every crack. Eventually, she shoved away from him and sat up, arranging her hair around her shoulders.

“I need it to dry nicely for the game tonight,” she explained. “You can put your head in my lap if you want. I’ll play with your hair,” she offered. Ben smiled softly and she blushed lightly under her freckles. His eyes fluttered shut as soon as he felt her fingers in his hair. The pads of her fingers drifted over his scalp. He hummed softly, then louder in protest as her hands left his head.

“Hey,” he said quietly, his mouth half turned into her thigh.

“I was just grabbing my book,” she explained, settling back with only one hand in his hair now. Her thumb traced the shell of his ear and her fingers drifted up and down the side of his neck.

“Read to me.” Ben could see the edge of the book in his vision, recognizing the word ‘Quidditch’ in the text, and wondered which Harry Potter book she was currently reading. She didn’t start at the beginning for his benefit, just pulled out her bookmark and expected him to pick up the story where she had left off.

Her voice was low and steady. Ben thought to himself that he’d never be able to listen to an audiobook again after being spoiled by her soothing voice. He felt the back of his scalp tingle, the warm feeling spreading around his brain, even where her fingers weren’t scratching his head.

“Harry did not think he could stand another full-House tryout. With a sinking feeling that had little to do with Quidditch, he cornered Dean Thomas after Transfiguration one day. Most of the class had already left, although several twittering yellow birds were still zooming around the room, all of Hermione’s creation…”

Cassidy didn’t realize she’d fallen asleep until she woke up with Ben’s arms wrapped tightly around her waist, and Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince resting half-balanced on his head and her chest. She gently lifted the book and marked the page before setting it on her nightstand. Ben’s shoulders moved rapidly up and down, his eyes moving back and forth under his eyelids, deep in REM sleep. Cassidy wondered what he was dreaming about, for he was clutching her so tightly.

A red bruise was beginning to form on his cheek and Cassidy remembered that she’d whacked him with her elbow when he stopped her from punching Hunter. Reaching up, she gently prodded at the bruise, watching it go white and then back to red. Ben barely twitched. Heavy sleeper apparently. Hesitantly, she reached out and played with a curl that had fallen over his forehead. Ben woke up, half sat up and looked around, bleary-eyed.

“What time is it?” he asked, his voice low and full of sleep. Cassidy grabbed her watch from the side table as he slumped back down into her lap.

“5pm,” she laughed. “We slept all day.” That explained the pain in her neck. She tilted her head from side to side and felt the satisfying pop.

“Should head over to the stadium soon,” Ben murmured. He made absolutely no movement to get up and appeared to have no intention of letting Cassidy get up either. “I need to go to my apartment first and grab something to wear.”

“And we have to pick up Joe,” Cassidy reminded him.

Ben groaned and turned over to look up at her. “Do we have to bring him?” He whined, “he’s so annoying.”

“Oh come on,” Cassidy shoved him off so she could get up and head over to her closet, “I want to meet him. He can tell me all the wild stories about you.”

“There aren’t any,” Ben said defeatedly. He rolled over and buried his face in her pillow.

Cassidy smirked at him and pulled her tank top over her head to trade it for a camisole from her dresser. In her closet she found a Longhorn baseball jersey and shrugged it on before taking off her pajama shorts and trading them for high waisted denim shorts. She tucked her cami in, but left the jersey loose and hanging open.

“You look really pretty in burnt orange,” Ben commented when she came out.

“Thanks,” Cassidy blushed, unused to someone complimenting her genuinely. Usually it was just the fake teammate way after she swam well, or the fake girl way when she dressed up at team dinners. Ben seemed genuinely in awe of her, his lips parted slightly as he watched her pull on a pair of Adidas sneakers.

“I don’t know anyone else who looks pretty in burnt orange,” he said as he stood up. He reached out and tugged on a curl, making it spring up. “It brings out the auburn in your hair.”

Cassidy looked down at her feet as Ben found his slides that he’d tossed aside. Since they’d worked it out, they’d been napping together when they could and somehow managed to keep it pretty platonic. But lately, Ben had been acting more and more like her boyfriend, showering her with compliments, calling her “babe.” Cassidy wasn’t sure how she felt about it.

When he put his arm around her in the elevator, she wanted to shrug it off, feeling like he was weighing her down. As much as she loved touching him, and as much as she wanted to, she felt her focus shifting. Pre-Ben, her mind had always drifted to the pool in spare moments. Now she daydreamed about him. Snuggling with him. Dancing with him. Kissing him. He never left her thoughts. It was incredibly overwhelming. So much so that he felt invasive. She’d always been on her own. Nobody ever spent time in her personal space. Squaring her shoulders as Ben unlocked the door to his apartment, she shook her head to clear her thoughts. Maybe seeing where he lived would help.

Ben’s apartment looked remarkably like her own, but without her grandmother’s sofa or chair, and the kitchen was on the other side of the door. A stack of dishes in the sink and a pile of sneakers and slides in the corner signaled that neither of them tidied up much. They had a television with an Xbox and a PS4. Presumably each of them had brought one. If Ben was embarrassed by the mess, he didn’t show it, just marched to the closed bedroom door and banged his fist against it.

“Hey! Joe! Be ready in 5 minutes, mate!” He huffed and turned back towards Cassidy. “It’ll be like 10 minutes now.” Cassidy nodded and followed him across the living room.

Ben’s room was considerably neater than the communal area, even cleaner than Cassidy’s room. His floor was clear, devoid of clothes and pillows. A UK flag and a Longhorn flag hung side-by-side on one wall. A corkboard covered in pictures was one of the few personal touches. Cassidy felt drawn to it. She wandered over to look, wondering what Ben’s family was like. She picked out a boy who looked like his brother, and a sister. His parents appeared only once, but maybe they just didn’t take many photos. Mostly it was littered with old heat sheets, Ben’s name highlighted in blue, first place ribbons, some dating all the way back to the mid-2000s. Maybe he didn’t keep everything, but everything he did keep seemed important to him. The medals he did have displayed were shiny and the ribbons pressed.

Ben appeared from his closet in a burnt orange polo shirt and khaki shorts, a pair of sneakers in his hand. A baseball cap stuck out of his pocket. Upon seeing it, Cassidy realized she’d left her sunglasses in her apartment.

“Fuck,” she muttered. “Forgot my sunglasses.”

“Here borrow mine,” Ben told her, tossing her a pair of Ray Bans that were sitting on his dresser. Cassidy stepped past him to the bathroom so she could see them in the mirror. Satisfied, she nodded and pushed them up onto her head until they were outside.

Joe was sitting at the breakfast table when Ben and Cassidy stepped back into the living room.

“Took ya long enough,” he huffed. “I thought you said 5 minutes.”

“Cassidy this is Joe,” Ben said, stifling a chuckle. Cassidy looked him up and down as she shook his hand. Hair just a few shades darker than her own, mischievous eyes, wide smile. She liked him right away. “Nice to meet you,” she told him.

“Likewise,” Joe wiggled his eyebrows, “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Oh?” Cassidy looked at Ben, who looked like he wanted to pummel his roommate. Cassidy believed he could. Joe was shorter than she was.

“Moving on,” Ben clapped his hands together, “everyone have their student IDs?” Cassidy pulled out her phone to check if it was still tucked into the pocket stuck on the back. Joe opened his wallet and showed he had his. Ben grabbed his out of his swim back and tucked it into his wallet.

The trio left the building and stepped into the blinding golden light of the setting sun. Cassidy slipped Ben’s sunglasses over her eyes and Ben pulled his hat out of his pocket, adjusting it low on his forehead to shade his eyes from the sun. He looked very frat boy in his polo shirt, and Cassidy found it incredibly cute.

It wasn’t a long walk to the softball stadium, with Joe chattering away about something that had happened in the dugout at his last game. Cassidy was surprised he had the night off, with the upcoming College World Series, until Joe mentioned that with their loss last night, his season was actually over. He seemed incredibly unbothered by it. His carefree attitude was infectious, and he soon had Cassidy laughing over stories about Ben.

“Oh yeah he’s always going on about you,” Joe laughed, reaching up to cover Ben’s mouth as he tried to protest. “Going on about how hard you work, how much he wishes he had your discipline,” he dropped his voice, “how pretty you are.”

“That’s enough,” Ben said, shoving Joe with his shoulder. “I don’t tell embarrassing stories about you in front of girls you like.”

Cassidy blushed as Joe exclaimed, “Ha! So you do like her!”

“I think she’s well aware of that,” Ben said quietly, looking at Cassidy over Joe’s head. A soft smile played at his lips.

Joe let the topic drop as they scanned their IDs to enter the stadium. It wasn’t large like the baseball or football stadiums, but it was open seating for students right behind the Longhorn dugout.

“Anyone else want a beer?” Joe asked. Cassidy and Ben shook their heads. “Oh come on,” Joe continued, “live a little.”

“We can’t drink,” Cassidy explained. “Not while training.”

Joe groaned. “Will both of you promise to please have a drink for me in Tokyo once you win your gold medals?” He walked away without an answer and Cassidy looked up at Ben, who shrugged.

“He’s like that,” Ben chuckled. Cassidy giggled back. She liked Joe. He was clearly a good roommate for Ben, balanced, got him out of his head, the way Priya did for her. Cassidy studied Ben’s face. She liked the way he was looking at her. Standing there with his hands in his pockets, his chin tilted down, but his green eyes aimed right at her. Had he always looked at her like that? Stealing glances out of the corner of his eye maybe? Watching her swim?

She reached out for his hand. “Let’s go get some nachos,” she suggested.

“Wow,” Ben’s eyes went wide, “Cassidy King eating junk food. I never thought I’d see the day.”

“Come on you dork,” Cassidy laughed and tugged him along behind her.

Softball wasn’t a popular sport to watch during the regular season. The student section was surprisingly empty and most of the seats nearby were filled with enthusiastic parents cheering for their daughters. It wasn’t hard to find three spots right behind the dugout.

“Priya!” Cassidy called as she leaned over the rail. Priya was walking out of the dugout and turned around, raising her face mask. A grin stretched across her face and she waved her gloved hand.

“That’s Priya?” Joe asked as they watched her step behind home plate for the first inning.

“Don’t even think about it,” Ben hit him on the arm with the back of his hand, “I don’t think her boyfriend would appreciate it.”

“I was actually going to say I heard she’s a really good catcher who gets her pitchers through some really tough games,” Joe huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. “But yeah, sure, I only look at girls ‘cause I think they’re hot.” He sipped his beer and sat down.

Cassidy tsked at Ben and joined him, putting her feet up on the rail as she balanced the nachos on her knee. Ben reached over to take one, his elbow across the armrest, touching Cassidy’s thigh. She nearly jerked away in surprise at his public comfort with touching her, and had to catch the nachos before they fell. She tried to relax, training her eyes on the field as the pitcher wound up and threw the first pitch. The ball smacked into Priya’s glove.

Seven innings, two plates of nachos, three hot dogs, and two beers later, the Longhorns were up three runs to two over the Horned Frogs. Cassidy cheered loudly every time Priya was at the plate, or tagged someone out at home, but when her best friend wasn’t playing, it was boring to her, and she found her eyes wandering.

Every time she glanced over her shoulder, she found a cute guy in a Longhorn dad hat looking back at her. Warm, brown eyes met her over the rim of a can of Blue Moon. Cassidy knew enough to know Blue Moon was a pretty hipster beer. But this guy seemed like just a regular preppy dude in khaki shorts and boat shoes. And he was heading her way. And sitting in the seat next to her. And offering her his hand to shake.

“I’m Blake,” he said by way of greeting. Cassidy shook his hand.

“Cassidy.”

“You into softball?” he asked, resting one ankle on his other knee as he leaned back, sipping on his beer.

“My roommate is the catcher,” Cassidy explained. “Priya Sharma.”

“Oh cool,” Blake nodded. “My buddy’s girlfriend plays so he drags me to games sometimes because he doesn’t want to come alone.” Cassidy wrinkled her eyebrows. Gwil never seemed to have a problem going alone. She thought it was odd that a boyfriend wouldn’t just support his girlfriend openly. Like he needed backup somehow. Blake was already moving on, “what do you do? Play any sports? Or are you more of an academic?”

“I’m an Olympic swimmer,” Cassidy told him. She crossed her legs towards him, leaning on the armrest between them. “Swam the 200 breastroke in the Rio games.”

“Oh wow,” Blake’s eyes went wide, “that’s super impressive. You going to Tokyo?” He rested his arm across the back of Cassidy’s seat, but didn’t touch her.

“Yeah, uh,” Cassidy pointed her thumb over her shoulder at Ben, “Ben and I have been training together. We both qualified for the trials.” She nudged Ben with her elbow until he turned around. “Hey this is Blake, he’s asking about Tokyo.”

“Hey man,” Blake reached out for a handshake, which Ben took, his eyes steely.

“Hey.”

When he dropped his hand, he rested it on Cassidy’s knee. She frowned and reached to push his hand away, but instead, he interlocked their fingers, holding her hand in a white-knuckled grip. So tight Cassidy could barely bend her fingers.

“Oh sorry,” Blake immediately stood up. “I didn’t realize.” He was gone before Cassidy could get another word out. Cassidy turned to Ben, staring at him open-mouthed. He was watching the field intently, his jaw set, his lips pressed into a thin line.

“I’m gonna say this as calmly as I can,” Cassidy inhaled deeply, “what the fuck?”

“He was hitting on you,” Ben said calmly.

“He was being friendly, Ben,” Cassidy corrected. She yanked her hand away and turned to face him. “And what business is it of yours?” Her pulse raced, heat rising in her ears.

Ben shifted in his seat, still not looking at her. “Cassidy, please.”

“Please what?” Cassidy hissed, attempting to stay calm. “You have absolutely no right to act like that. Grabbing my hand? Not letting me go? That’s real immature.” She breathed hard, her fingernails digging into her palms as she clenched her fists.

“Cassidy I just don’t want--”

“Want what? For me to have friends other than you? For me to talk to guys other than you?”

“Will you let me fucking finish a sentence?” Ben nearly yelled. And there it was. His anger finally boiled over. Cassidy looked around to see people staring, Joe was chewing on his lip, distancing himself from them. She turned back to Ben and looked him straight in the eye.

“You’re not my boyfriend, Ben.”

Then she stood up and walked out of the stadium.

Support my writing by buying me a ko-fi!

Masterlist

@sweet-ladyy inspired me to include discussion questions at the end of every chapter like she does in MOTH (go read it because it’s really good)

Discussion Questions:

Do you think Coach did the right thing even if it wasn’t technically following the rules? Were Hunter and Oliver’s apologies enough for you? Why do you think Cassidy fainted? What about Cassidy and Ben’s relationship? Are they basically dating like Ben thinks? Or do they not owe each other anything like Cassidy thinks? Was Blake flirting or just being nice? What are your opinions on Cassidy and Ben’s fight?

Taglist: @benhardy-1 @joalsglasses @fixedonroger @rogahhtaylahh @fierce-bab @d-r-e-a-m-catchme @emypia @lakef @claluni @ramibaby @anxious-diabetic

#komh #komh series #ben hardy #ben hardy fic #ben hardy fanfic #ben hardy fanfiction #ben hardy series #ben hardy au #ben hardy x oc #ben hardy fluff #ben hardy angst

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jahayla-parker · 8 months ago

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King Of My Heart : Nikolai Lantsov x Reader Series

Part 9

For warnings, descriptions, and previous parts, see series masterlist here.

Sorry it took so long! Here you lovelies are!

Y/n squeezed her eyes shut as she remained soaking in the hot bathtub she’d drawn herself. Usually the palace maids serviced with seeing to her dressings had the task of filling the tub each night, but tonight y/n had turned in early and told the guards standing outside her chamber doors that they could turn the maids away tonight, that their services weren’t needed. In truth, y/n just didn’t want anyone to see her in the current state she was in. She’d drawn a painfully hot bath and had scrubbed every inch of her skin as if she could erase what transpired moments before. Nikolai had kissed her. It felt wrong. Not gross, but wrong nonetheless. Ironically, it felt wrong because of just how right it had felt in the moment. She could still practically feel his lips on her even though she’d rubbed them vigorously with the lavender soap sitting beside the tub. Even now as she scrunched her eyes tighter to erase the image of Nikolai’s eyes, her lips felt heavier still. This had to stop. She couldn’t feel this way. Not for him. Not for Nikolai. Not for the man she hated. She hated him. You cannot hate someone and also want them to keep kissing you. Right?

Y/n groaned as she opened her eyes. No matter what she’d tried, she still couldn’t shake the events from tonight. Nikolai’s hazel gaze was there whenever she closed her eyes. She’d never even paid much attention to them before, much less noticed the depth of the green, brown, and gold flecks. Not until tonight. Not until he’d gazed into her eyes before kissing her. But why?! Why did he kiss her? Was he truly this manipulative? Was the Prince so cruel as to intentionally try to make her fall for him by kissing her just so he could have the upper hand? And if so, why was y/n so offended by that?

Y/n tugged on the drain of the bathtub and stood up. She shivered slightly as she reached over to grab her towel. Bathing clearly hadn’t helped. She needed to move on to another strategy.

Once dry, y/n wandered back into her bedroom and sat at her desk. Perhaps she’d try catching up on correspondences. Surely the letters detailing what she was missing back home wills serve as a distraction from her confusion over Nikolai’s actions.

Only, after less than five minutes, y/n flopped the letter back down on her desk with a groan. Why did he have to do this? She’d been having a decent night until he came in. Now, she was alone in her room with her racing thoughts. Thoughts she didn’t want taking up space in her mind, yet they were. She couldn’t stop thinking about Nikolai’s intentions. He had to have done this with the intention of getting her so stressed out. He knew what he was doing. He always did.

Y/n threw her head back against her satin pillowcases as she finally settled on her interpretation of tonight’s events. There was no other explanation for it. None that made sense anyways. Nikolai had kissed her in hopes she’d fall for him and he could use that to taunt her. It was infuriating. Especially because she’d warned him multiple times tonight against doing such a thing. Yes she still hated him, but they were going to have to spend the rest of their lives together due to the arranged marriage their parents had constructed. So, at a minimum, they needed to have some boundaries and should try to get along more frequently. Yet, he’d gone to such great lengths as to kiss her tonight out of the blue simply to try and get the upper hand.

To make matters worse, y/n could sense there was an underlying reason for her frustration. But, she didn’t want to analyze it. She feared doing so would only make the situation that much worse. After all, she knew Nikolai’s intentions and motivations behind his actions tonight, it didn’t matter what she’d have hoped for in a different situation. What mattered is she could no longer be near him. Not if she wanted these underlying feelings to fade away. She was sure they would in time. She just needed space. Space from Nikolai and his stupid hazel eyes and infuriatingly tender lips.

Y/n yawned as she dragged herself over to the massive bed. She could tell her maids had been in at some point today and remade the bedding, the corners neatly tucked in. But, it was what was on top of the sheets that truly caught her attention. It wasn’t even the new elegant ball gown waiting for her that captured her focus. Instead, it was the radiant ballet dress cautiously placed at the foot of her bed. It was a gorgeous emerald color with gold accents. Nikolai’s colors. But that didn’t matter. It should. But the dress was far too gorgeous. It didn’t matter what colors it was. The embellishments were flawlessly constructed, the seams nearly invisible, and just like the ball gown, it looked just her size. Surely Genya was behind such creations. The pure artistry of it was a testament to that.

There was no note left with the dresses, which was odd. Usually Genya would hand deliver such gifts, and if not, a letter could be expected. Yet, there was nothing with the dresses tonight. Perhaps it was because her friend worried y/n would be weary of it given the color choice. But, y/n knew better. The reception for council members between both y/n and Nikolai’s countries was scheduled for tomorrow. Y/n had been expecting some delivery of a dress for the event to arrive this week. She just hadn’t expected a ballet dress in addition to a ball gown. But, she was thrilled. She had been dreading the event until now. She’d managed to avoid Nikolai the last several days, since that night in the makeshift dance studio. But that wouldn’t be an option at the reception. She’d have to appear pleased with the arranged engagement and at least cordial with Nikolai tomorrow. While that was still dreadful to contemplate, at least she could dance tomorrow. And not just any dance. She could do her ballet. And now she actually had the proper attire for such an event. Who cares that it has to be with the Prince? Y/n would finally be able to wear a glamorous ballet dress after so long without one. She’d be able to dance without feeling as though she had to hide the hobby from the others. Bless Genya Safin for being so thoughtful.

Nikolai knew y/n had been avoiding him as much as she could this evening. He couldn’t entirely blame her after his bold actions the other night. But, he was still trying to make sense of the situation himself. He’d sworn she seemed interested. That is, until she ran off.

Regardless of what happened, Nikolai knew he had to apologize. He hadn’t meant to upset her further. Yet, she’d clearly been avoiding him since the night. Even at their own event tonight, she was more distant than usual. He had to make it right.

“Princess y/l/n,” Nikolai spoke warmly as he approached y/n. He stood behind her, just to her left as she finished greeting a young girl. He nervously clenched his jaw as she spun to face him. Saints had she somehow managed to become even more beautiful since that night?

“Did you need something?” Y/n questioned politely as she resisted the urge to meet Nikolai’s gaze. She couldn’t wouldn’t look into his eyes.

Nikolai blinked rapidly, y/n’s question reminding him why he’d approached. “I think we should talk,” he offered, glancing to the side of the dining hall.

Y/n straightened her back and posted on a fake smile. “I have to disagree, your highness,” she remarked in a soft tone. “There are far more pressing-“.

“Y/n,” Nikolai pleaded. He gently grasped y/n’s wrist as she went to turn from him.

Y/n stiffened at Nikolai’s touch. Ignore it. He is trying to agitate you. Don’t let him. “Your highness-,” she hissed quietly.

“Please,” Nikolai sighed, letting go as he noticed y/n’s reaction. “It’ll just take a moment,” he argued.

“Nikolai, dear, there’s someone here I want to to meet, come,” The Queen called out as she signaled from across the room for the youngest Lantsov Prince to join her.

Nikolai nodded at his mother quickly before turning his attention back to y/n. Only, in the time he’d been listening to his mother’s beckoning, y/n evidently sauntered away. He sighed lightly and shook his head. Yet, he couldn’t fight the small knowing smirk on his lips as he pictured her sneaky departure. While it was against what he was wanting, it was comfortingly familiar.

Nikolai turned from Genya as the room erupted into murmurs. Within seconds, his eyes found the cause. A smile took over his face as Y/n strolled into the ballroom. She was wearing the ballet dress he’d asked Genya to make.

“Were the colors intentional?” Nikolai whispered to Genya as he continued to watch y/n from afar.

“I do not know to what you are speaking of,” Genya remarked. But her smirk gave her away.

“Surely she would’ve preferred a different color scheme,” Nikolai argued. But Saints did y/n look incredible in his colors.

Genya hummed softly. She set her hand on Nikolai’s arm just above his elbow. “Perhaps, for now,” she agreed breezily. “But, in time, she’ll be grateful for my choice,” she stated. She slid her hand to the back of Nikolai’s arm and gave it a soft shove. “Now, go,” Genya grinned.

“Are you just going to stand there and stare with your mouth open like a fish?” Y/n questioned as she made her way to a frozen Nikolai. She had noticed the way he’d been eyeing her since she entered the ballroom moments ago. She was over him pretending to be truly interested in her.

“Yes,” Nikolai replied casually. His cheeks were flushed, standing out in stark contrast to his white suit. But, his lips were a blend between a smirk and a bashful smile.

“Well don’t,” y/n scoffed, her remark quiet so their guests wouldn’t hear. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes at Nikolai. “You look like a fool,” she insulted.

“A charmingly handsome and lovesick fool?” Nikolai questioned with a grin.

Y/n shot Nikolai a look of annoyance and shook her head. She glanced around the room for literally anyone else she could talk to. Sure she wanted to dance, but she knew it would have to be with Nikolai. And right now she couldn’t stand to be around him while he maintained this façade to such a degree.

“It does look great on you,” Nikolai defended as he once again took in the Princess’s appearance.

“You…,” y/n faltered. She quietly cleared her throat as she pulled herself further. “You got me this?” She asked skeptically, running her hand down the tulle of her new ballet gown.

Nikolai nodded with a small smile. “I believe that I owed you one,” he replied, “didn’t I?”

“Well…” y/n mumbled with a timid nod, her surprise dampening her response. Nikolai actually took a step to make reparations? What was going on? “Yeah, I guess…,” she commented hesitantly, her mind spinning.

“What seems to be the problem?” Nikolai asked worriedly. His eyes scanned y/n’s face for insight into her thoughts.

“It’s just that…,” y/n mumbled quietly. She needed to get it together. “That’s not like you,” she remarked, her response far more confident this time.

“Maybe you just do not know me all that well,” Nikolai argued.

“Or maybe I know you too well,” y/n contested.

“Regardless,” Nikolai redirected. “Won't you dance with me, darling?" He proposed as he lowered his head and extended his hand in proper greeting. A delayed greeting, but a proper one finally nonetheless now that he had regained his senses.

Y/n shot Nikolai another warning look. He was throwing nicknames at her now, really? “I don’t dance with degenerates,” she replied, quoting her insult of him from the last time he tried to dance with her.

Nikolai’s smile faltered faintly. But, he was used to maintaining a fake smile when it came to attending his family’s events. So, he took a deep breath and lowered his voice as he moved his hand closer to y/n. “We are in public, y/n,” he reminded her.

Y/n stifled a groan, the sound escaping as a quiet sigh instead as she took Nikolai’s hand. She looked away from him as he lead them to the center of the ballroom.

Nikolai bent down slightly as he lifted y/n’s hand and placed a faint kiss to the back of it. His eyes flickered up as his lips pressed against her delicate hand and he met her gaze. Standing back up straight, he extended his arm so she could get into her starting position.

The guests stared in pleasant surprise as the newly engaged Prince and Princess flaunted around the ballroom. The golden engravings along the white ballroom walls matched Nikolai’s elegant fitted white and gold suit flawlessly. Meanwhile Y/N’s emerald hued ballet gown sparkled as it flowed dazzlingly with her movements. The glow from the long and beautiful crystal chandelier overhead shined through the ballroom and highlighted the golden accents on and within it. The light pulled the guests’ attention to the jewels of y/n’s emerald encrusted tiara and the gold embellishments of her dress. Whereas for Nikolai, the light drew the guests’ eyes to his golden epaulettes, buttons, and the patterned embroidery on his white suit.

As the young couple danced before their guests, the elaborately decorated halls, crowded room, and polished wooden floors were long forgotten. Not just by the reception attendees but also by the couple themselves. It was clear the close proximity of the dance was drawing them closer. Intimate gestures like an unnecessary but gentle hand on the other’s back, lingering eye contact, and flushed cheeks were just some of the visible signs of this.

Y/n tried to keep her wits about her as she and Nikolai sauntered through the palace’s ballroom. But, the fact she was pressed up against him at most times, his lips mere inches from her own was distracting. It didn’t help that Nikolai was holding her as if she were some cherished piece of glass. Nor that he was gazing at her with those unfairly vibrant eyes y/n recently learned he had.

Nikolai curled his lips up ever so slightly, just enough to share a private smile with y/n. He swore his heart leapt from his chest when she smiled back softly. She was smiling at him, actually smiling. He’d earned a smile from y/n finally. Nikolai blinked infrequently as he tried to focus on their dance, not wanting to blink and miss something.

Y/n’s dress swished out wide as she spun away from Nikolai’s chest. Her hand was still resting comfortably in his as she twirled on the tops of her toes. The ethereal and velvety hum of the song was ringing through the ballroom as Nikolai pulled y/n back to him. The closeness and intensity of the moment blended nicely with the melody as they peered into each others eyes as Nikolai dipped her backwards. Having felt he’d gone long enough without seeing her face, Nikolai gently lifted her half-way back up. Y/N’s cheek brushed against Nikolai’s lapel as she tilted her chin and gaze up to see him as he supported her slightly-arched back. While the crowd openly gawked at them, the Prince and Princess felt as though they were enshrined in a world of their own. After all, all they could see was the others’ eyes as they silently panted, the romantic melody still playing out around them. They both leaned in simultaneously, their faces creeping infinitely closer until their lips finally met once again.

Y/N’s attention was abruptly torn away from Nikolai’s gentle and amorous lips by an eruption of cheering. She leaned back, startled by the sudden noise. Her eyes darted around the room, making note of the joyous spectators and the look of satisfaction on Nikolai’s face. Her stomach churned and she leapt into a standing position.

Y/n forced a stoic expression as to not cause any doubt to the show Nikolai just put on for their guests. She moved out of Nikolai’s arms despite the dizziness that was now taking over her. “Your Highness,” she murmured barely audibly as she dipped her head minimally. Y/n ignored the way Nikolai reached for her as she sharply turned and made her way out of the ballroom.

As soon as y/n’s feet hit the tiled flooring of the hallway, she aggressively unwrapped her pointe shoes off and tugged them off her feet as she stumbled down the hallway. Once she’d tossed them aside, she sprinted, trying to get as far away as she could. She needed to be as far away from the reception, their guests, and namely Nikolai as possible. Her breath felt trapped in her chest and her stomach felt as though it had flipped upside down.

“Y/n!” Nikolai shouted as he followed after her. He didn’t care that he’d likely made a spectacle with the way he’d bolted out of the room after her departure. He knew y/n would be mad with it though. After all, she’d managed to keep her composure and exit gracefully enough to convince their guests and families. Nikolai wasn’t so easily convinced. Especially given that he had felt her smile into their kiss and had seen the way the smile only fell from her lips once the applaud rang out. He hated the look that he witnessed in her eyes. Once again he’d messed up, except this time he was going to make it right.

Nikolai sighed to himself as he rushed down the hallway. His eyes caught sight of y/n’s discarded ballet flats, their silky strands that had once looped beautifully around her ankles now laid haphazardly on the slate tiles. He halted and bent down, his fingers delicately picking the pieces up. Nikolai ran his fingers across the material as he stared down at it. It was almost poetic the way y/n’s ballet shoe’s normally pristine and elegant fabric was now crumpled and covered in dirt. It wasn’t mud like the way it had been years ago, but their guests had managed to track in some now dried dirt that lingered on the floor where she’d discarded the shoes. Nikolai almost laughed humorously at the sight. Almost. Instead, he used it as motivation to push on.

Nikolai had held the fabric shoes in his hands as he made his way out to the garden where he had seen y/n run to. However, as he noticed her wiping her eyes as she cried, he unconsciously dropped them. He ran to her like his life depended on it, which in that moment felt it like it did. “Princess,” he spoke breathlessly as he neared her.

Y/n sniffed and tried to dry her eyes as she turned sharply from Nikolai. She didn’t need anyone seeing her like this, much less him. Especially not when it was him she was crying over. However, she felt him rest his hand carefully on her bicep instead of just leaving. “Go away,” she whimpered pathetically.

Nikolai’s eyes squeezed shut tightly as he winced. Y/N’s broken voice made his knees feel weak. “Y/n,” he sighed, “please, just-“.

“Just what?!” Y/n shouted. She ran the back of her hand across her face as she spun to face Nikolai. “What?!” She shouted as she stared at him in defeat.

Nikolai frowned so deeply his forehead creased. “I-I… Look,” he sighed. “What happened back there, it was-,” he began slowly.

“Just for show?” Y/n remarked coldly. “I am well aware of that, your highness,” she informed him. “You can leave now,” she advised while turning from him.

Nikolai rushed around to the other side as y/n turned in order to still be face to face with her. He shook his head, “that’s not what I was going to say”.

Y/n rose an eyebrow at Nikolai as she crossed her arms over her chest. She shivered faintly as the chill of the night air hit her bare skin. “Oh right, we’re doing this,” she groaned. “Let me guess,” y/n muttered sarcastically, “you just had to kiss me, right?”.

Nikolai shuffled his feet nervously. “I’m sorry to have upset you,” he told y/n calmly. “But, I just can’t help it… when I see you dancing I…,” he trailed off. Nikolai rubbed the back of his neck as he tried to keep polite eye contact with her as he admitted his feelings. “I- I must kiss you, yes,” he acknowledged. “It’s like… I’m pulled to you with each spin”.

“Why are you doing this?” Y/n asked, stepping back.

Nikolai squinted. “Doing what?” He asked. “I’m-,” he began hesitantly. He’d already explained why he felt like kissing her, what was she asking about?

“This whole, flirting with me when no one is around act,” y/n pointed out. She threw her arms out to the side dramatically in frustration. “I can act convincingly. When we’re in private you don’t need to pretend you actually like me” she argued.

“I’m not pretending,” Nikolai said stepping closer. Was that why she’d been crying? She thought he’d not only kissed her for show but was also suddenly acting nicer out of some hidden motivation?

“Yes, you are,” y/n groaned. “You hate me,” she reminded him.

Nikolai chuckled as he tenderly shook his head. “I confess, you're so beautiful that you infuriate me,” he admitted. “As does your hatred of me,” Nikolai added with a remorseful sigh. “But, I don’t … I don’t hate you…”. He hesitantly stopped closer to y/n, pleased when she didn’t move away. “At least not anymore,” he explained.

Y/n looked Nikolai up and down suspiciously. “Why?” She asked plainly.

“I’ve seen the real you,” Nikolai replied. “I thought your attitude towards me was just the way you were,” he explained. “But, I have seen how you really are, how kind you are to everyone and everything,” he said as the memories replayed in his mind. “How attentive and considerate, how-“.

Y/n resisted the warmth that was forming in her stomach over Nikolai’s words. She shook her head. “While you may have taken this long to see the real me,” she remarked defensively, “I saw the real you that night ages ago when you shoved me into the mud”.

Nikolai’s face dropped and so did his eyes until he was staring at the damp ground under their feet. “No, I-,” he sighed. He forced himself to look up at y/n to show his sincerity despite the way her beauty made him want to hide in embarrassment. “You didn’t. Not really. That wasn’t… I …” he rambled.

Y/n shifted her stance making a show of how she was impatiently waiting for Nikolai to finish his argument. She could feel the way her tears had dried on her cheeks and all she wanted was for this to be over with. She didn’t want to hear his excuses or lies or whatever he was going to try and throw at her to get her to fall for this nonsense. She knew he didn’t have a crush on her. He hated her. He was just acting as if he didn’t in order to appease the public and to get her to fall for him so he could leave her stranded. After all, he hated her and she hated him. It had been that way forever.

“I was trying to flirt,” Nikolai choked out with a bashful expression.

“By shoving me in the mud?” Y/n scoffed. “I know you’re an idiot Nikolai, but Saints, that’s a weak attempt at trying to turn the situation in your favor,” she remarked pointedly.

Nikolai nervously rubbed the back of his neck as his cheeks flushed even darker. “No, I… I hadn’t meant to…-” he began slowly, trying to find the right words. He needed to think through his responses before they left his lips. He couldn’t make another mistake. Not with y/n. Not after everything that had happened between them. Especially recently.

“Hold on,” y/n interrupted as she caught a glimpse of Nina peaking her head around the shrubbery in the garden. She needed the heartrender’s help. “If I am going to be subjected to listening to you,” she said to Nikolai as she grabbed Nina’s hand. “I am going to hear the truth and the moment you lie, the moment she detects a lie or coverup,” y/n explained as she looked at Nina, “we’re done talking”.

Nina’s eyes flickered between the Prince and Princess hesitantly. As much as she loved whatever drama seemed to always be present around her two friends, she didn’t care to be this involved. She simply was trying to make sure they were both alive and hadn’t murdered each other after Nikolai ran out after y/n earlier. Yet, now she found herself stationed between her friends as they continued some obviously intense conversation.

“Nina, tell me if he’s lying,” y/n requested firmly as she pleaded with her eyes.

Nina’s heart sank at the seriousness of y/n’s apparent distress but her gaze nonetheless questioningly turned to Nikolai. She wanted to help y/n, but she also didn’t want to have to lie to her in order to try to not make matters worse. When Nikolai nodded in acceptance, Nina sighed and nodded as well.

Nikolai bit his lip as he focused on y/n, trying to ignore the fact that he now had a spectator. “I… that day, I had wanted to ask you to join me for a picnic,” he recalled aloud. “But, I was… nervous.”

Y/n scoffed and shot Nikolai a glare. “Saints, if you’re going to lie that blatantly, maybe I don’t need to bother Nina after all,” she laughed. “You’re never nervous,” y/n argued.

Nikolai laughed quietly, understanding where y/n was coming from with her remark. His cockiness would surely make it seem that way. “Yes I am when-,” he tried to explain.

“No,” y/n argued, “you’re cocky, and arrogant, and-”.

“Umm,” Nina interrupted, “he’s nervous right now y/n.” She had to fight hard to resist a smirk. Her analysis was the truth, but she knew y/n would doubt it if she let her knowing smirk show. This was no surprise to the heartrender, she could feel the way the Prince and Princess reacted around the other this whole time. Even if they themselves didn’t recognize it.

Y/N’s eyes widened and she stumbled back a bit in shock. She quietly signaled for Nikolai to continue.

“I … I slipped,” Nikolai informed y/n shyly. “And, well, in doing so, I knocked you down”. He bravely took a step closer to y/n, hoping to grab her hand as he continued his explanation.

Y/N’s eyes softened, as did her overall expression. But she still stood stiffly, on edge, as she hesitated to believe Nikolai. “But, you still left me there in the mud,” she reminded him.

“Nikolai!” Nina gasped, butting in unintentionally.

Nikolai sighed, ignoring Nina’s judgmental gaze as he maintained eye contact with y/N’s curious one. “I know, and I’m sorry, milaya,” he vowed. “I panicked,” he admitted as he reached for her hand.

Y/n looked down at Nikolai’s extended hand and shook her head lightly. “You laughed,” she whispered.

Nina gasped again only this time quietly. But still, neither one paid her any mind.

“I was trying not to…” Nikolai sighed with a deep frown. “I was embarrassed, I thought I could laugh it off”. He shook his head out of frustration with himself.

“So, this whole arrogant, self-absorbed, egotistical Prince thing… is just…. a coverup?” Y/n inquired, unconsciously moving closer to Nikolai. Her eyes scanned his deeply as if she could read whether or not he was being sincere by doing so.

Nikolai nodded. “Yes,” he confirmed in a hushed voice.

Nina saw the way y/n’s eyes anxiously looked in her direction expectantly. Nina wasn’t able to wipe the smirk from her face this time. Especially given how she’d noticed the preciously hopeful look in the Princess’s hesitant look. She gleefully nodded her head, “he’s sincere.” When y/n’s attention turned back to Nikolai, Nina’s smirk grew. “I’m,” she said as she pointed at herself. “Uhh, I’m going to,” she mumbled as she pointed vaguely in the distance before slipping away without another word.

“So this whole time…,” y/n whispered, stepping closer to Nikolai. Part of her was still hesitant to believe it, but she knew Nina wouldn’t lie to her. Sure Nina might tease her about the Prince from time to time. But she knew she wouldn’t be so bold as to lie to y/n about him or his sincerity; especially in this situation.

Nikolai nodded and cautiously took hold of y/n’s cold hand. He quickly wrapped both of his hands around her hand to warm it up. “I know you don’t feel that you have a choice in this, because of your love for your country,” he spoke. “And I get that, I do”. He sighed tenderly. “But, I do not want to force you into this marriage. If you give me a chance, I think.. maybe I could make you happy,” Nikolai whispered. “I can read your worries as clear as the stars above us, y/n,” he spoke. “And as justified as you are for having them, I vow to you I am not doing any of this for any reason other than what I expressed before Nina just now. I had a crush on you back then, and” he chuckled quietly, “well, if I am being honest, I suspect I always had this whole time. But, I had misunderstood your hatred. Had I known it was because of my failure that day-”

“Nikolai,” y/n sighed sympathetically. She shook her head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t kn-”.

“I know,” Nikolai said, “please don’t apologize. I’m the one who should’ve cleared the air years ago regardless.” He sighed, “besides there’s no use dwelling on the past”. “We have a future together, and while I realize you may never feel anything romantically for me, maybe one day you-”.

Y/n stared at Nikolai and shook her head. “I think it hurt so much back then because you were so nice to everyone else,” she confessed for the first time ever. She smiled bashfully when Nikolai took hold of her other hand and squeezed. “I couldn’t figure out why it was just me you hated….,” she recalled as she thought back to the way she had found him cute until the incident happened.

Nikolai caught onto y/n’s distant but soft expression and smirked. He swiftly pulled her closer to his chest. “So I was right,” he grinned, “you don’t hate me”.

“Not anymore,” y/n admitted with a sigh.

“And before,” Nikolai pressed with a curious smile. “You didn’t truly hate me did you?” He asked.

“I did,” y/n corrected. It wasn’t the most romantic thing to say, but it was the truth. While she’d found him cute that had all dissipated when he had knocked her into the mud. Her animosity towards him since that day was sincere. It might’ve been heightened initially over her jealously for having been treated that way when he was so kind to others. But, it didn’t remain that way. She had genuinely hated him.

Y/n noticed the way her clarification made Nikolai frown but still nod in understanding. “If it helps,” she murmured hesitantly as she moved closer, enjoying the heat radiating off him despite them being out in the freezing cold. “Hatred or, whatever this bubbly childish feeling I have now is,” she rambled, earning a chuckle from the Prince. “You’ve always been the ruler of my heart,” she confessed timidly.

Nikolai’s eyes widened slightly as his blush spread. A wide from formed on his face as he leaned in. “Is that so?” He questioned smugly.

“I will murder you in your sleep if you try to use that against me,” y/n threatened.

Nikolai simply nodded with a smile, “as you should”. He squeezed her hands, his fingers roaming over them to ensure they’d warmed up by now. “I wouldn’t dare abuse my honored role like that,” he promised.

Y/n giggled quietly and shook her head.

“What is the title of my newly acclaimed position by the way?” Nikolai teased warmly.

“Mmm,” y/n smirked. “While you are a Prince, Prince of my heart doesn’t sound right,” she murmured. “Since you stole it, perhaps pirate would be an appropriate title,” she joked.

Nikolai’s eyes widened and he shook his head as he groaned before throwing his head back with a laugh. “While that’s rather poetic of you, y/n,” he taunted with a smirk. “It’s privateer,” he corrected.

Y/n groaned, “same thing”.

“Is not!” Nikolai gushed defensively. “You see, a private-”.

“Shut up,” y/n laughed with a playful eye roll.

“Hmmm, I’d rather not,” Nikolai replied smugly. “And I get the final say as the emperor of your heart,” he teased.

Y/n groaned loudly and shook her head. “I hate you,” she complained despite the smile that was now on her lips.

Nikolai laughed and tugged y/n close, his lips now hovering over hers. “Say it again,” he requested quietly.

“King of my heart or not,” y/n replied breathily, the title feeling fitting for the circumstance despite him being a second Prince. “I still hate you,” she joked, her sentence murmured as Nikolai pressed his lips against hers.

Nikolai pulled back and gazed happily at y/n. He was surprised but pleased that she’d added the new nickname to her remark. “The only kingship that matters,” he complimented as he pulled her back in for another kiss.

I haven't decided... Do I stop here? Or would you guys like to see the series continue to the other parts of Nikolai's story?

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mariss-lyn · 6 years ago

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king of my heart: ch.1

so this is a new story i previewed a while back on my page and the first chapter is finally here! i am already annoyingly invested in this series (this is becoming a series even if no one wants to read it) and i’ve started a playlist for it as well!! i can drop apple music/spotify links if anyone is interested.

ANYWAYS. this was not requested, just something i was messing around with while texting @marissafalls one day and i rolled with it. the first chapter ended up being 2k words soooooo. it revolves around ryan murray, but will have mention of other players on the team.

mentions: other cbj players, alcohol

warnings: cursing, drinking

feedback is always greatly appreciated and encouraging so feel free to to flood my inbox :-)

“I hate every part of this.”

This was not how I spent Saturday nights. I spent them at home, in my sweatpants, eating ice cream and talking to my mom on the phone. Sometimes I’d be at a game, in the suites with a couple of friends from college, eating free food and taking too many pictures. But I definitely was not the bar type, or at least not at eleven o’clock at night.

“Will you stop complaining? This is your fault anyways,” my best friend reminded me. And she wasn’t wrong. I lost a bet and this was my punishment. To be forced out of my comfort zone and have a couple of drinks out on the town.

“Okay well I didn’t actually think he would score a goal tonight. I thought the odds were in my favor.” Becca smiled at me. “Maybe they are.”

I rolled my eyes and patiently waited for the Uber to stop outside of some campus bar. I’d heard of it, but never visited. It wasn’t my thing. Quiet coffee shops were my thing. Libraries were my thing. Not bars where you got packed in like sardines and it was so loud, you couldn’t even order a drink without screaming. My friends and I all loaded out, Becca taking the lead, while I fell behind Eliza and Lacey.

After the bouncer checked our ID’s, we walked in and I immediately felt anxious. There were bright lights and drunk people everywhere. I quickly followed the girls to a table in the corner, trying to just catch my breath.

“Earth to Harper?” I snapped my head up to see the girls looking straight at me. “What?”

Becca smiled. “Drink order? I’m gonna go to the bar.”

“Whatever, is fine,” I mumbled. “Just a beer.” Becca squeezed my hand before she disappeared for the bar and I immediately started to dart my eyes. Taking in my surroundings. Figuring out what I got myself into.

And that’s when I noticed them.

They grabbed the attention of most of the bar. Tall, big boys. Hockey players. Professional hockey players.

“Holy shit!” I heard Eliza yell. “Is that the team?” I nodded. “Some of them.” I wasn’t sure anyone heard me. I didn’t really care. I was focused on the group of guys pushing their way to the bar, right next to where my best friend was. Just mere inches from our table.

This really was a bad idea.

“Fuck, they’re so hot.”

“Do you think they’re single?”

“Would they come here if they weren’t?”

I ignored the girls and their questions for a bit, focusing on the group. It was weird to me, seeing guys I’ve watched from afar for so long, right in front of me. I knew they went out. Word travels when you’re friends with a bunch of gorgeous girls. Friends of friends have had some experiences. But you never really expect it to happen to you. And you definitely don’t expect any of them to notice you.

But then they do.

“Harper, that one’s looking at you.”

I forced myself to look away. “Lacey, they’re not zoo animals. His name is Ryan.” I knew he couldn’t hear me, but I still felt nervous. Like somehow he’d only hear his name and know where it came from. My face was hot and my heart was racing. God, they really were beautiful.

“Harper, go talk to them!” I swung my head to look at Eliza. “Are you crazy? Why would I go talk to them?”

Eliza smiled. “Because Ryan is looking at you, not us.”

“The air quotes are not necessary, E. That’s his actual name.”

I looked back up at the group and noticed Becca coming back with our drinks. I grabbed the Corona she ordered for me and downed half of it in one sip. I could feel the girls watching me as I set the bottle down.

“Are you okay?” I shook my head. “No. I need a water.”

I stepped off the bar seat and stepped closer to the bar, squeezing in between a very pretty blonde girl and Boone Jenner. I patiently waited for the bartender to notice me, trying to just be cool. I didn’t want to draw attention to myself, so I didn’t move much. I could feel three sets of eyes watching me intently from behind, but I couldn’t turn around. I kept myself facing forward, trying not to eavesdrop. Until I felt Boone step away and someone else fill his spot.

“Is he ignoring you?”

I turned to my right slowly, my eyes coming to land on a pair of stunning brown eyes. Could brown eyes be stunning? Brown eyes were always ignored. Every country song was about blue eyes, sometimes green. But never brown. I always felt offended myself, having brown eyes, and I wondered if anyone found them stunning.

Not now, Harper. Jesus.

“I’m sorry?” I asked. “Who?”

Ryan smiled. Oh fuck did he smile. “The bartender. Did you need something?”

I nodded. “Oh! Just a water. It’s no big deal. I can wait.” He turned his body toward me now, and I noticed his friends had disappeared, surrounding the table my friends were occupying. How convenient.

Ryan extended his hand. “Ryan.” I smiled and took it in mine. “I’m Harper. Great game tonight.”

He nodded. “Thank you. Were you there?” Now it was my turn to nod. “I was. It’s actually your fault I’m standing at the bar tonight.”

Ryan started laughing. “Why’s that?”

I bit my lip. “I made a bet with my friends. If you scored, we went to the bars tonight. But if you didn’t, we ordered pizza and went home to drink.”

“Ah well I’m sorry I ruined pizza night. Let me make it up to you with a drink.” I smiled. “You don’t have to do that. You deserved the goal. It doesn’t happen often.”

Ryan laughed again. “Ouch, that hurts a little bit.” I laughed with him. It felt nice, and also surreal. “Wait, can I ask why it was me who had to score tonight? There are plenty of other guys you could’ve chosen from.”

I swallowed hard and shifted a little. “Uh, well, because you don’t score a ton of goals and you’re my favorite on the team so my friends were teasing me, I guess. That’s embarrassing. I’m sorry. You don’t need to be talking to some dumb fangirl.”

He smiled and set his bottle on the bar. “I don’t think you’re dumb. It’s not like I have a huge group of fans in the city, or anywhere really, except maybe back home. Plus, and this is no disrespect to your friends, but my friends have lost interest and they’re going to leave that table in five minutes. I, on the other hand, have no plans of leaving here.”

“What if we left together?”

It left my lips before I even fully thought it through. Here I was, exposing myself as not only a fangirl, but someone who was clearly willing to leave my friends behind and go somewhere with a stranger. A hot stranger. A really fucking hot stranger.

“Where would we go? If we left together?”

I shrugged. “Personally I’m starving and can’t stop thinking about pizza. And I know there’s a place down the road open late. But you don’t have to leave with me. I don’t really know what I was saying.”

“What makes you think I would rather be here than somewhere much quieter, eating pizza with you?”

“Besides the fact that you know absolutely nothing about me?”

Ryan smiled at me. “I know your name is Harper, and I know you hate bars like this. What’s the worst that could happen at a tiny little pizza place down the road from all of our friends?”

I bit my lip to hide a smile. “Okay, that’s fair. I can always call Becca if you’re a huge weirdo.” He started laughing. “Can you even eat pizza? Is that part of your diet?”

“I’ll just skate a little harder at practice on Monday. I’ll take a risk. I think it might be worth it.”

I leaned off the bar. “I’ll grab my purse and let the girls know. Should I just tell your friends while I’m over there?” Ryan straightened up and grabbed his beer bottle again, smiling. “I’ll come with you.” I walked towards the table, Becca’s eyes burning holes in me. I wish there was time to explain to her what was happening, but I wasn’t even sure I knew what was happening. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was convinced this wasn’t even real. I’ll wake up in the morning and this will all just be a very detailed dream I had after a night on the town.

“I’m gonna head out,” I announced but Becca was the only one listening. “I’ll see you in the morning?” She nodded. “Be safe.” I could always read Becca like a book. She thought this was a dumb idea. We were never really the girls who left the bar with a hot stranger. We showed up and left together, after a few drinks and a lot of dancing. And that was on the rare occasion we even went out. But nothing about tonight was going according to plan.

I turned to face Ryan, who was still talking to Boone. “Please don’t act like complete idiots once I leave. I’m not coming back for you.” Boone slurred something I couldn’t even try to make out and I choked back a giggle. “I’m out. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

He turned to me and smiled. “Ready?”

The Lyft ride to the pizza place was quiet, and our drive probably thought he was escorting an awkward first date around town. But it was a comfortable quiet. And usually I’d blame the drinks for how calm I was feeling with him, but I barely had half a beer, so everything was very clear to me. Ryan was just calming. His voice and the way he carried himself. It was attractive and that was so rare to find, at least for me. And he was soft. The way he spoke about his family and his job. I felt like I could listen to him talk every minute of every day.

“So do you come to a lot of games?”

I smiled and shrugged. “Not as many as I’d like. I spend more time watching them from the comfort of my couch. We’ve got a friend, Eliza; she gets suite tickets a lot from work so we use those when we can.”

Ryan smiled and took a slow sip of water. “Do you have tickets for Monday’s game?” I shook my head. “I’ll have some under your name. Lounge bands too.”

I laughed. “Are you trying to buy my attention, Murray?”

“Not at all. I just want to be able to see you again after tonight but my job tends to get in the way. So if you’re at a game, in the lounge, I have a better chance of seeing you when it’s over.”

It was cute. He was cute. And I really liked the way I felt with him. He probably could’ve asked me to pick up trash with him and I’d do it. Maybe this is why I’ve never dated? “I’ll be there Monday. Who says no to free tickets?”

The rest of the night felt so easy. It wasn’t until around 2am when I realized I should probably be heading home, brunch plans with my mother looming in the near future. I checked my watch and felt myself frown. “I should probably get going.”

“Can I get your number?” I smiled at how rushed he asked, thankful I wasn’t the only one suffering from word vomit tonight. I took his phone from his hand and entered my number, adding a pizza emoji after my name, “Thank you for tonight, Harper. I had a lot of fun.”

I nodded in agreement. “I did too. I kinda wanna do it again sometime.”

We had moved to the sidewalk outside now, both waiting for our cars to show up. The air was cool, but still unseasonably warm for a late winter night in Ohio. I shivered, wrapping my arms around myself. I looked up and caught Ryan looking down at me, the cutest smile on his face. Before I could speak, a car pulled up to the curb, the car I was waiting on. I felt myself deflate, not ready to leave yet. But then I felt Ryan’s lips on my cheek and my whole body felt electric. I felt the kiss all the way in my toes and I definitely wasn’t cold anymore.

“Good night, Harper.”

#komh series #my writing #komh ch 1 #ryan murray #columbus blue jackets #nhl writing #hockey writing #i'm so excited about this piece you guys #i hope you love it #idk what else to tag #so give me suggestions #nhl imagine

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