#Kitson is Special To Me :)

[benetnvsch]

FINALLY making comprehensive refs for all my main Guys YIPEEE (or at least,, this one AU of them kajsdh) So meet Kitson,, he's like,, the Main Guy of my Main OCs (there's like 8 of them that I keep throwing into different stories) )

He is like the Main Character in this one and has made a contract with this magical dragon to help him hunt down and kill this one (1) guy he hates cuz he's normal like that-

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Good news, everyone! Excellent news. It turns out Ed Night is good at stand-up comedy. I have been waiting several years now to find this out, suspected but with no way to confirm it. But now I can finally say, I have found a way to artistically justify my decision to watch Roast Battle. Wouldn't have heard of Ed Night otherwise as he's not been on anything else I've seen, and therefore I wouldn't have have seen a very good stand-up show last night. Success! It was all worth it!

Anyway, yesterday was probably my most perfectly planned day if this festival. Look at this:

What a solid few hours. Kept exiting the venues and then going right back in, didn't have to travel anywhere, and four really really strong shows in a row. Eleanor Morton's took a little while to get going and at first I was a bit disappointed in it, but it really built up from a routine about seeing the Edinburgh Fringe as an Edinburgh native, then just kept going, second half better than the first and I loved it by the end.

The other 3 were pretty well perfect, all 3 of them. I'm so glad I saw Sarah Keyworth, after almost skipping them because I saw it filmed for Access Festival. Firstly, it was more than good enough to be worth seeing in person even though I'd heard the material before, same as Nish Kumar and Tom Ballard. Secondly, it's been 8 months and a major Australian championship win since I saw the show, obviously the material has developed. It was so, so much fun to actually see. As was Laura Davis, they're another one who's so compelling it's just worth getting into the room to experience it up close. This started strong but was another one that really built and by the end was... look, I try to be very sparing with a word like "Kitsonian" and not just compare anything good to him, but that was all I could think of with the way she got complex and poetic in throwing everything in the show back at us at the end. Reminded me of the ending of Impotent Fury of the Privileged pr Something Other Than Everything, in the best way (not in a "Laura was being unoriginal" way, Kitson doesn't talk nearly this much about dead birds so safe to say they carved their own territory). And Tom Ballard was also doing stuff I'd heard before but it sure was worth being in the room for that. Being in the room made me both enjoy it even more, and better understand why a different person might dislike it so strongly. A divisively shouty presence.

I even managed to briefly speak to Tom Ballard after the show, if nothing else just to prove to myself that I could, after the disaster of last week. And it went okay! I wasn't smooth by any means, stuttered at the ground about how I loved his show in Montreal last year and thought this one was even better and big fan of his older specials too and all his stuff, and I absolutely could not look at him while I spoke, but I think I managed to make the words I was saying understood. Managed to sound like a very nervous person who likes him, rather than whatever I sounded like when I met Kitson last week, which was nothing, because I could not remember any words. So I'm glad I managed that improvement. He was very nice, asked me my name, said he appreciated it, a sort of amusing contrast to the on-stage shoutiness.

Then I ran off to the Assembly Rooms to see Josie Long's husband (if the genders were reversed it would be problematic to define her by her relationship to him but I'm pretty sure it's fine this way around, also I'm not 100% sure they're actually married) meticulously document the destruction of arts funding and the NHS across 14 years of Tory rule, via the medium of a musical performed in what appeared to be a circus tent. That's what we some to the Fringe for, isn't it? That is exactly what I wanted out of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. It was a lot of fun.

Then back to the Monkey Barrel to see Ed Night, a guy I'd been Googling ever since I saw him on Roast Battle in 2021, convinced that I like this guy and I just need him to release something I can see to prove it. I've said several times on this blog that I'm supporting his career like it's a sports team, wanting him to get big just so I can see his stuff from Canada. He didn't so I had to go to him, and finally, decision to watch an awful thing like Roast Battle has been justified! I found Ed Night out of it! Seriously I thought he was fantastic, dark and sharp and packed with jokes that you could miss if you didn't pay attention because they fit so clearly into the narrative. And it helped that it was my sort of thing in terms of subject matter, he covered OCD and queer identity and some political stuff and the frustrating mental health system, talked shit about contrnt creator algorithms. At one point he got a Pokemon reference into what I think was a suicide joke - how perfectly tailored to my comedy taste is that? He also picked some more specific targets, like (spoiler alert, I guess, spoiler alert for everything on my blog all the time) going after Tom Binns for a while, earning every bit of that edgy material (edgy, to be clear, just because it's an intense topic to bring up - he didn't try edgily defending him or anything) by being very funny about it.

He hung out somewhere in the general vicinity (not nearly as far, but the vicinity is still impressive) of Dan Rath levels of presenting himself as a fucked up low status character (though it didn't seem like a that much of a character). I remember seeing someone compare his stuff to Frankie Boyle once, which I think is apt, though more personal than I've heard Frankie Boyle get, and obviously not as developed in the craft, but it was that level of dark. I also think Chortle robbed him, with only 3.5 stars, given some of the stuff that's got 4. I'm just relieved that he was good. I got so invested in the idea of him being good, based on so little. Picked one non-famous comedian, several years ago, to decide I bet that guy is good. And that was by no means a guarantee. I feel like this blog must make it seem as though I like pretty much all comedy because that's mainly what I write about. When in fact I hear or see plenty of comedy that I dislike, I just try not to be a dick about it online too often. So I'm glad this wasn't like that, because I really hate being wrong.

Then I ran off to the other side of the castle for the first time, to see Natalie Palamides at the Traverse Theatre. This was one I booked because it seemed important to take the opportunity to see in person while I can. I've seen her previous shows - Laid and Nate - on video, and I liked them, could see they were very good, but I also knew I was missing parts of it, because it doesn't translate fully to film, and I just don't have the theatre kid background to appreciate that level of clowning. Also the puppet in Dave freaked me out. I don't like puppets. Also, you know, nudity. Sex scenes (only with puppets). Artistic violence. It left me feeling weird and uncomfortable and wanting to curl up into a ball, in a sort of good but probably overall more bad way. But that left me feeling like I should try harder to develop the ability to appreciate this sort of thing. And I think it's the sort of thing that really needs to be experienced live.

So I went to see Weer live, and I had a great time. It was so much fun, probably helped that the subject matter was lighter, at least at first. More nudity (spoiler alert, I guess, for all of this, in the unlikely event that anyone planning to see Natalie Palamides is reading this) but I was prepared this time! Managed to not turn into quite such a prudish teacher from a movie, at the sight of a body displayed in the name of art. I mean it was still weird, but not quite such a shock as I'd seen it before. The violence was a bit more difficult, but it very quickly got too absurd to be scary. And the puppet stuff was mercifully extremely short.

Otherwise, I thought it was incredibly impressive. I don't have the theatre knowledge to really understand how impressive it was, but I can still recognize something really cool and incredibly complicated done very well. It was fun, it made me laugh, I could not believe the number of (literal and figurative) layers that went into it. It was very, very cool to see, definitely worth taking the chance to go in person.

So that was my day yesterday. Woke up early this morning and thought I'd go through the day. About to go back to town for my last day of shows. Which is fine, I'm not feeling any predictable rising anxiety that the only thing I've been looking forward to for a year is almost over. It's okay, I'll have another little bit in London after this and that's nice as meeting my London friend in person has been one of the best parts of this, sorry that's a weird thing to say given that he reads this. But it's hardly the most overly personal thing I've ever communicated via a Tumblr post because I don't know how to actually talk to people. Except Tom Ballard, I did a great job of talking to him.

And aside from talking to Tom Ballard, yesterday was a slower day for comedian spotting, which was probably for the best (talking to Tom wasn't so much comedian "spotting", as comedian "awkwardly waiting around until everyone else had left after his show"). Jordan Brookes was in the audience at Sarah Keyworth's show. And here's a left-field one - Dominic Maxwell, the dick from The Times who once called Andy Zaltzman "[John Oliver's] left-behind sidekick", was in Natalie Palamides' show making notes for a review. Which I only know because she called attention to that when giving him an audience participation part, she turned it into something quite funny.

Okay, now I'm going into town for the last day. I've saved some of the established Fringe veterans for last - Seymour Mace, Mark Watson, David O'Doherty. Mat Ewins, another one where I thought it important to take the chance to see in oerson since he doesn't translate to recordings well. I didn't divide it up this way intentionally, but the identity-based demographic diversity of my Fringe schedule looks a lot better if you leave out the last day.

[littenandkitson]

Hello my shiny things.. I mean.. uh.. yeah! Hi!

I’m Kitson! Your friendly neighborhood plague doctor! I make art, and have… at least one character, I think…

For more information on me myself go to my carrd!

(First has bright color warning, for emo mode go to..)

-

I’m autistic, so i talk a LOT about my special interests. My special interests are

Supernatrual

Hazbin Hotel

Pokémon

Dinosaurs

Hatoful boyfriend

Plague doctors

American Woodcock (please look them up they’re birds I love them… little meepsters..)

Cryptids

Criminal minds

If any of those are of interest to you, feel free to stick around!

Dni and byi are in the carrd!

-Kitson :3

[anthonysstupiddailyblog]

Anthony's Stupid Daily Blog (617): Fri 24th Nov 2023

First day of the shitty Christmas shifts at work. Not only do we have to do an extra day a week but we have to do an extra half hour in the morning and the evening. Why don’t they just take my fucking blood?. When I got to the roundabout next to the Nightingale hospital there was a giant fucking traffic jam that I was stuck in for the next fifteen fucking minutes so I was really glad I set off early (and that it wasn't raining). I couldn't believe how busy it was because normally I only get to this roundabout half an hour later than I was there today and I didn't know that every morning just before I arrive there it is sheer pandemonium with people jostling for a space in the fucking queue. This queue I think may have been longer than the one that formed to see the Queen's coffin (Yes I am rehashing a joke that I used last year when I was stood in the queue for Xmas dinner but you know what the year's nearly over, I'm fucking knackered and I've got hardly anything left to say so fuck you!). When I got home after a BRUTAL shift (that I'm not going to bother writing about because I don't want the next six weeks to be me just writing about how boring it is at work and how exhausted I am by the end of it) I tuned into the Taskmaster final and saw that comedian Sam Campbell was crowned the winner. I haven't been paying much attention to this series because I'm not an enormous fan of the people in it but it has been good for a few laughs here and there. I was hopng to see who was going to be on the next series because they normally announce it at the end of every final but apparently they're saving the reveal until the end of the New Year's Treat special on. I really hope one day Daniel Kitson temporarily lifts his no TV rule and does a series because he would be great on it. He says he doesn't do TV because he doesn't want to risk people who haven't seen him before thinking that he's exactly the way he portrays himself on TV going to see him live and then being disappointed to find out that his stand up is completely different. This is understandable but Richard Herring has said that him appearing on the show didn't particularly increase his fame or his live work attendance so it is possible to have a brief moment of mainstream fame and then go back to being a cult figure so I don't think Kitson should ever completely rule out going on the show.

[lesamis]

Adhdhhsvsgz you made that post just when I was wondering if it was okay to ask you if you had reading recommendations for how the Romantics viewed or knew of Islam and the Middle East and Mughals / India

oh thank you so much for thinking of me! :D this is a perfectly timed question as i've been researching parts of this myself for the past year, so hopefully some of what i've been reading can be helpful for you too.

your question falls broadly into the field of romantic empire research, so introductory works to romantic imperialism and romantic orientalism are a good place to start. a recurring argument you'll find in these works is the idea that romantic writers were viewing the british empire's expansion into the east, and equally the creation of contact zones between western european and middle eastern and south asian cultures, with a sort of uneasy trepidation which was offset by fascination and fetishisation. i'd especially recommend:

British Romantic Writers and the East: Anxieties of Empire by Nigel Leask, basically the foundational work in the field, and unfortunately the only book i cannot hunt down a pdf of for the life of me. it's very good and worth checking libraries for!

Romantic Imperialism by Saree Makdisi, particularly the introduction and chapters 5 & 6 which are concerned with orientalism in Byron and Shelley

Romanticism and Colonialism ed. by Fulford & Kitson - this is an anthology with an intro very worth reading, but some of the chapters addressing the eastern empire might be helpful as well

Islam and the English Enlightenment 1670-1840 by Humberto Garcia, which is super in-depth; i'd recommend checking out the preface & introduction

Radical Orientalism: Rights, Reform, and Romanticism by Gerard Cohen-Vrignaud, one of my favourite more recent works on romanticism in general; addresses the way romantic writers engaged with reformist and radical politics at home through orientalist discourses.

the canonical writers that most explicitly engaged with this topic are byron, coleridge, and the shelleys. byron might be of special interest to you if you're researching islam and romanticism - he was the only romantic writer with a personal relationship to islam (in part through his role in the war against the ottoman empire, but also because of his genuine interest in the faith prior to that - there's a fringe theory suggesting that he might have converted to it at some point) & there is extensive research on the way this featured in his writing. Byron and Islamic Culture by Peter Cochran is a pretty good synthesis.

another little sub-field you might find useful is research into women writers & the empire in the east, especially because much of the above is very dominated by the male canon - Anne K. Mellor has an introductory article here, and more recently there's been the much more detailed & theoretically complex British Women Writers and the Asiatic Society of Bengal by Kathryn S. Freeman.

i hope some of this helps and that the fact that these are almost all books rather than articles isn’t too off-putting! to me, introductory chapters in anthologies are usually the most helpful for getting an overview. best of luck on your research journeys! :D

[daisylincs]

List 5 TV shows make you feel better, then tag 10 other blogs

I was tagged by @famousflowermagazine - thanks so much for the tag, and sorry it took me so long to get to this, lol. 

1. The Good Place

My ultimate feel-good show; the one I can and do come back to over and over when I’m feeling down in the dumps - and it never fails to cheer me up.

2. Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Sometimes you just need to laugh, and nothing is funnier - or sweeter - than B99.

3. New Girl

Awwwww, well, this show is basically the definition of a comfort show - F.R.I.E.N.D.S., but better.

4. Ab Fab

Sometimes you need to laugh, sometimes you need to cry.... aaand sometimes you just need something truly dumb. 

5. Agents of SHIELD

Some of you may be wondering, but wait, why is AoS last on the list of five?? Shouldn’t it be first?? It is, after all, my favourite show in the world, and I make no secret of that.

But the thing is, much as I truly adore AoS... they really, really do torture their poor characters. This gif, for example, looks completely innocent and domestic at a moment’s glance, but in reality, this is moments before the main cast gets sucked up into a time-bending space rock and taken to a dystopian future where one of them is thought to have destroyed the world. Oh, and the nice guy on the right gets left behind. (Yeah... it’s better not to ask.) 

With that said, I do have a list of feel-good episodes that I’ll come back to and watch over and over, ‘cause when all is said and done, this is my favourite show in the entire world, and it does make me happier than pretty much anything else, lol. So here goes:

1x01 - Pilot. The one that started it all, and the one that always gives me SUCH nostalgia because LOOK AT HOW SMALL THEY ALL WERE AHLFLSDHFLSDHFLSJF 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Actually that goes for pretty much the entire first half of season 1 alskfdjadlkfjlkdsjfksf 😍😍😍

Okay I know I said an episode list but... most of season 2. It’s my favourite season because it’s already so damn good, plus there’s not AS much trauma yet I mean there’s a lot but whooo baby wait for season 4, plus Huntingbird, plus DAISY, plus general The Team Being A Family which I LOVE and can never get enough of.

Special props to The Scene in 2x10, which I have saved onto its own YouTube playlist for sheer awesomeness.

3x08, Many Heads, One Tale. This is just such a COOL episode, and I personally love it because (a) STATICQUAKE BEING PLAYFUL AND FLIRTY!! (b) HUNTER AND BOBBI BEING SARCASTIC AND HILARIOUS ON MISSIONS and, of course, the FITZSIMMONS KISS!!!!!!! 

3x11, Bouncing Back. Tied with Rewind, this is probably my single favourite episode - because all the best characters are there, being badass and hilarious together, and there’s not too much pain. Plus, literally ALL my favourite couples end it on a good place - Fitzsimmons start over and do an adorable fist bump, Coulson and May share a drink, Staticquake kiss and flirt and Mackelena flirt (and are teased by Daisy and Joey.) Basically it’s just the BEST and probably the episode I’ve rewatched the most, lol.

Season 4 is awesome but basically just angst, so no feel-good rewatch moments there, lol. Except maybe Daisy quaking AIDA out of the window. That NEVER gets old, ahahaha.

5x05, Rewind. Oh, this episode is SUCH a fan favourite, but with such good reason!! H U N T E R, everyone. Fitz and Hunter. Enough said. 

5x06, Fun & Games. Well, okay, it wasn’t exactly fun and games, but it had Daisy being badass and a Fitzsimmons proposal and that’s honestly all anyone could ask for.

5x12, The Real Deal. Come on, this episode is the BEST. I mean, yes, it’s truly heartbreaking when everyone finds out about Coulson, but the WEDDING makes up for it every. single. time. The WEDDING, you guys. I have never been able to watch it without getting teary-eyed.

6x03, Fear And Loathing On The Planet Of Kitson. You can say a lot about Season 6, but Ladies Night will never not be the best (and funniest) ten minutes ever.

6x06, Inescapable. Another fan-favourite, but, honestly, another one that deserves every second of that status. Aside from the sheer hilarity of it (Fitzsimmons screaming their issues at each other at the tops of their voices, anyone?) it’s also surprisingly tender, and Fitz’s “what the bloody hell does that --” at the end never fails to crack me up.

7x01, The New Deal. Ah, man, this episode was such a journey in nostalgia!! Plus, the CLOTHES. It’s worth it just for the clothes, honestly.

7x07, The Totally Excellent Adventures of Mack and the D. I didn’t actually think I’d be putting this one on here, but upon consideration... it’s such a lovely, light-hearted and hilarious one despite how serious their situation actually is. Furthermore, this is the episode that proved beyond any shred of doubt that Deke Shaw is the absolute sweetest. Also, he can sing. Like, damn. 

7x13, What We’re Fighting For. I have rewatched this thing at least three times now and I tear up every. single. time. I literally cannot think of any characters who deserve this happy ending more!!

mutuals, let me know if I’ve forgotten any significant ones because there’s a high chance I have, my brother is currently jabbing me in the back with a whiteboard marker and I want to murder him

...Oh, gosh, this somehow turned into me raving about AoS.... Is anyone even surprised, though??? 🤣🤣🤣🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ 

But enough, now for the tagging. The actual point of this. Ahem. 

@ohwriteiforgot, @aleksandrachaev, @everythingirl44, @que-mint-tea, @a-biochemist-not-a-bird, @agentsofcomedyandchaos (if you’re feeling better, Julia 💜), @eowima, @maybebrilliant, @besidemethewholedamntime and @springmagpies​, if any of you guys want to do this! (and hopefully not get as out of control as me, lmao)

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Sun 8 Sept

A terrific interview with Louis in Forbes magazine of all places, weird flex but okay: his team is definitely looking to reach some new audience, I'm into it! "I think it’s very important to push the boundaries and it makes me feel a lot better," says Louis (about music not promo but hey whichever), and he talks about his influences playlist and how great it is to get the fans into the music he loves that might be new to them; he later liked a tweet from a fan talking about getting into those bands because of him. But reader, here is where we really get into it: Louis, when asked "what would be the coolest thing you could hear someone say about these songs you turned them on to?" does not say anything about getting people into a particular sound or genre: he replies, "I’m big on lyrics... if there’s a song or a lyric or something that I resonate with and then I get feedback from the fans that they also like that, it makes us feel even more connected and even more on the same page... the amazing thing for me is it gives me a chance to have a real, genuine, direct relationship with my fans." Yes. Yes we have connected with you around your lyric tweet choices Louis. Sometimes in ways that I need to go lie down thinking about. (*my brain playing a swirling montage of Louis' song posts as I lie with a cool cloth on my fevered brow*)

He also says, "I’m always looking for clever and different ways to involve (the fans) and feel like they’re included in the whole creative," and in discussion of songs he'll play live soon, "I think there are a couple.. on the album... that are written with fans in mind. So a little bit more sentimental songs and those are always special moments where... I can make eye contact with people in the first few rows and I can watch their brains thinking about the lyrics and how it relates to them." Watch us fucking cry you mean! There's a lot coming down the pike friends. A lot.

Niall hung out with Sam Smith ("we always have a laugh, Sam and I! Road trip with McDonald's and singing in the car"), presumably going to Ed Sheeran's wedding party which took place last night, and we got video of them eating burgers in the car and then we got Niall back at home chatting and posting about the trip (q: I thought you were too OCD to eat in the car? a: I got it cleaned it as soon as I dropped Sam off) and about getting back to it with music. "I’m so pumped. Ready to goooooo. Bored of being at home doing mixes" he said, "get me back on stage asap," and, on a pic of his band, "getting the crew back together." On playing arenas this time he said, "if I can sell them out, I’ll play them;" high bar but okay.

Who else went to Ed's party? Did the rest of OT4? Someone said Harry was there; they were seemingly talking out of their ass but I mean yeah, probably, I imagine they all were pretty likely.

Liam posted a pic of himself showered in confetti; Capitol radio and one of their DJs posted the full version, which is him being interviewed! We're really about to be hit with promo from all sides friends, are you ready?

Meanwhile on instagram two separate things happened (clarity edit lol): Harry followed an (American) football player. Separately, David Kitson, the animator of the TOU and KMM lyric videos, liked a comment naming him as the maker of the JLY video.

[missmudpie]

Hey hey hey! How's season 6 going? What are your thoughts? I'll be honest, I'm not a big fan of season 6, but it's worth it to get to s7!

Hi!!! @millennialfangirl

I just finished episode 7?  I think.  I’m bingeing so they are all running together.  Fake!Coulson/Sarge is at the Lighthouse and told them how to kill the two captured Strikers (? Is that what they are called?).  FitzSimmons are FINALLY reunited and have just been saved by Izel (?) who conveniently is taking them to Earth to look for “missing artifacts” and HOLY SHIRTBALLS SHE’S THE STRIKER GOD ISN’T SHE.  I mean, don’t tell me, obvi, but she is, isn’t she?  Because I was going to say, what’s weird about this season is that there seems to be two main plots - the Sarge storyline and Finding Fitz Storyline - and they don’t seem to be coming together.  This must be how they come together.  FitzSimmons delivers upon Earth its doom.

This is a weird season.  I think because the plot feels a bit - disjointed?  I don’t know.  I feel like AoS is REALLY good at crafting 6-10 episode arcs, and now they are stretching a whole story over 13 episodes.  It’s just not the same magic.  Also, no Coulson.  Although major kudos to Clark Gregg because Sarge is totally different than Coulson to the point that - You know how even identical twins, you can still tell them apart?  Like, they look exactly alike, but when you see one you can still be like, Oh, that’s that one?  That’s how he’s playing Sarge. He almost looks physically different.  

I did enjoy the Planet Kitson Drug Trip.  I love Daisy and Simmons’ relationship and friendship and them hiding under the table was great.  But I think my favorite so far was the FitzSimmons mind trip.  I love when shows play with reality and memory.  It was heartbreaking watching Fitz learn he’d died/”died.”  I loved their shared memories.  I’m not quite sure we needed Leopold and Zombie!Jemma (although “You’re so English!” is a great line), but overall a stellar episode.

Still hoping to have caught up to watch the series finale live!  After which, I think I’m going to need to do a series rewatch.  I always forget how much I love this show, and then I watch it again and it’s just - it’s really something special.  I’ll miss it.

[potholesperth-blog]

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[scribbledbyhand]

Ripper Street Fanfic Masterlist Post

Available on AO3

Stunning – nearly finished (only the last 2 chapters left)

Susan was saved from the gallows by a Reid and went with Connor and Jackson to South America. Now, Edmund Reid is invited to visit them. But he doesn’t want to go alone and so he ask Hermione Morton to accompany him.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14685774/chapters/34269308

The Revenge of a Dead – will be continued

Susan was saved from the gallows by her father Theodore Swift who wants to build up an empire of darkness. He forces her to help him. For this in return he had promised her to leave Jackson and Connor alone. Both live – without knowing anything – in the close neighbourhood to the presumed dead Susan.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12941367

Spoon-clothes-peg candle holders – finished

Susan, Connor and Jackson spent their first Christmas together as a family.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13167444/chapters/30115821

To the maple leaves - finished

Susan had refused Reid's proposal to betray her father and chose Theodore Swift instead. At least it looks like it. But suddenly she and her newborn child have disappeared without a trace. Jackson goes looking for her.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/8908069/chapters/20406502

Family Triangle

Susan and Jackson broke up. Meanwhile, Jackson has married Mimi and they have a child. But Mimi is ill and close to die. Because she didn't want Jackson and her daughter to be alone after her death, she travels to Susan to convince her to take care for them.

At this point of the story it’s up to the reader what happens next. The reader can choose if Mimi survives or Mimi does not survive.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10553386/chapters/23310008

Ménage à trois - unfinished (because I have problems writing Reid talking Latin in ecstasy)

Susan, Jackson and Reid take refuge in the Alexandria Theatre near Mimi, where Jackson finds a camera... This results in interesting human combinations.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9646271/chapters/22386359

Only available on Tumblr

Mostly spontaneous small snippits.

Have you kissed Reid? 

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/170567174801/corpyburd-more-reid-you-have-kissed-reid

Modern AU – Susan is waiting for Reid to return home. He comes, but not alone …

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/175234531896/a-little-hartmundjackmund-ficlet-an-unusual

Drunk Jackson tells Thatcher about his secret passion for teeth.

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/167352937151/the-captain-stroked-tenderly-over-the-blank-shiny

Jackson becomes a real doctor.

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/166461462926/sorry-again-some-sweet-sweet-sackson-fluff

Alternative Sackson end, not happy, but at least, they survived. 

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/165946833476/you-will-be-alone-and-stucked-in-belly-of

About Ghosts – very short and very sad

Connor’s essay about his dead parents.

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/165582355611/ghosts

Reid meets the American star dancer Homer Jackson.

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/164966693381/avatoh-scribbledbyhand-avatoh

The Bet

It’s Drakes nuptial and the last time that the trio is together. They have a drink in a pub and place a bet: Who will be the first with new mini me!

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/164483732151/the-bet-rs-fanfic

The Business Advice

Caitlin Swift has problems with her father, who annoys her again. In this situation she meets Swift's lackey Matthew Judge and a "cat and mouse" game between them begins.

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/164020447996/the-business-advice-part-1-of-6

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/164128052696/the-business-advice-part-2-of-6

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/164165210636/the-business-advice-part-3-of-6

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/164165361361/the-business-advice-part-4-of-6

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/164165810046/the-business-advice-part-5-of-6

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/164166129226/the-business-advice-part-6-of-6

Petticoat Lane

Connor wants to be a pink fairy at Halloween, but not because of personal preferences. There's more to it than that.

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/163983567456/petticoat-lane

Nature vs. Nurture

Susan and Jackson must cope with their parenthood. (It’s one chapter of my main Sackson story which is still unpublished, because I’m not sure if it is good enough.)

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/163171899011/rs-writing-club-2nd-story

The ice house in the summer’s heat

Matthew Judge encounter with Caitlin Swift in the ice house.

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/163171496446/rs-writing-club-1st-story

Captain Jackson’s Clever Devices

Captain Jackson has invented a strange enlargement tube which – of course – must be tested by the trio.

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/163054128971/captain-jacksons-clever-devices

Connor and Mimi’s daughter – very, very small scene to the collages of @like-fruitandroses

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/161391846386/sunlitcartwheels-was-advised-not-to-post

Fancy Dress

Aged buddies Reid and Jackson want to find out what's going on in Connor's club.

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/161279094871/fancy-dress-clothing

Space exploration in Victorian Era (alternative story)

Drake takes Connor to the observatory to distract him from the loss of his mother.

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/160977318271/space-exploration-in-victorian-era-alternative

Space exploration in Victorian Era

Susan has a special gift for Jackson.

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/160540906766/space-exploration-in-victorian-era

Interpersonal Messes

Mimi and Jackson are together, but it seems Mimi has his eye on someone else: Reid. This causes unexpected problems that Reid wants to solve with Susan's help.

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/160262269116/interpersonal-messes

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/160293407276/interpersonal-messes-part-ii

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/160298195701/interpersonal-messes-part-iii

Booze, Bread and Blanket

On a rainy day, Reid, Jackson and Drake must spent the night together in a barn and share a bottle of booze, a bread and a blanket.

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/160008829601/booze-bread-and-blanket

The two latest fathers Jackson and Drake must cope with their fatherhood.

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/159684717566/sorry-one-more-and-ill-be-quiet

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/159679260701/i-should-stop-drinking-said-drake-after-the

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/159643383016/the-noise-was-deafening-thats-why-he-decided-to

The lost Shoe

Reid had an intimate encounter with Mimi in his office. Now, she’s missing a shoe.

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/158921771321/the-lost-shoe

Cake Division - Only available on Tumblr

The Pink Bunny

It’s Easter and Drake has an encounter with a pink bunny. It is Jackson in a costume.

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/172488530566/the-pink-bunny

Kitson

Jackson, leading pastry chef of the Cake Division, struggles with an order and gets unexpected help by a fluffy fellow.

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/165444518956/women-the-most-insufferable-things-in-the-world

The Order

The Cake Division must fight for the profitable contract for the ‘Sunset Retirement Residence House’ funerals.

https://scribbledbyhand.tumblr.com/post/164283161271/culturenlifestyle-stunning-buttercream-floral

[peterkayscarshare]

Life in the Slow Lane Chapter 4 by OvertheRainbow2

Life In The Slow Lane Part 4: A New Direction

 Thirty minutes after his declaration, John and Kayleigh were seated on the side of her single bed, arms wrapped around each other, while Kayleigh continued to intermittently sob, sniff and ruin the sleeve of John’s shirt. She’d also made her way through half a box of Kleenex Ultra Soft and John was becoming increasingly concerned that at this rate, she was at significant risk of dehydration. “Seriously Kayleigh. You’ve got to stop cryin’” “I know! I just can’t! Every time I look at you. No one’s ever said anything like that to me before. It was so beautiful.” With that she started crying yet again. “Yeah, well I meant every word. I love ya. I’m also really hoping you’ll stop blubbin long enough for me to a) get the feeling back in me right arm, b) avoid the necessity to dry clean this shirt, c) prevent flood damage to the carpet and d) let me kiss ya. That finally made her smile, “I like the sound of option d”. “I thought you might.” The kiss started out as a tentative and tender effort to reacquaint their lips but as was often the case between them, it didn’t take long for it to become more of a heated exchange. Soon they were reclining on the bed, their limbs desperately trying to find the optimum position, like a highly competitive game of Twister. Forgetting that the scope of his performance was somewhat limited by the venue, John attempted to roll onto his back, bringing Kayleigh with him, only to crash unceremoniously into the tiny bedside table, upending the alarm clock and bedside lamp. “Christ! Me elbow! Mother of God woman! You should come with a health warning.” “Never mind your elbow! What about me lamp!? Anyway, you were the one attempting gymnastics.” Moment lost, Kayleigh clambered over John to survey the damage and pick up the scattered items from the floor. 

 Having narrowly avoided catastrophe, John was now comfortably reclining on the bed with a somewhat smug expression on his face. He couldn’t help but grin as he admired Kayleigh’s pert posterior as she bent over in front of him. “I don’t know if anyone’s ever told you this but you’ve got one hell of acute little ass Miss Kitson.” “John!” “What!? You do. It’s a statement of fact. The idea of that sleazy get Rick puttin’ his hands anywhere near you, pisses me off in ways you can’t imagine. How I’m gonna get through this wedding without lampin’ him, I’ve no idea.” Kayleigh found herself blushing at his cheeky compliment. He noticed, “You’re also very sexy when you blush.” Sensing this was heading for, as yet, uncharted territory and curious to discover the exact destination, she decided to play along. “Am I now?” “Yeah. You are.” “You know, one of these days you’re going to have to put your money where your mouth is John Redmond.” “What the Hell does that mean?” “It means you’re all talk and no action. All mouth and no trousers.” “Oh Really.” “Yeah really.” “You talkin’ about Rick because if you are, let me tell you, no one touches my woman. If he wants to keep his wedding tackle intact, he’ll keep his hands to himself from now on.”  “Ooh, here comes the caveman. Your woman?” “Well, Yeah. That’s what you are...aren’t ya?” Kayleigh drew herself up to the entirety of her 5ft 2 ins, “I am a woman John.” “I know you are”. “And even though I can stand up for myself, I do love it that you get all, protective of me. I just think it’s also important that you understand that a woman has needs. This woman has needs.”

 John began to look sheepish. “Yeah but I’m guessin’ they don’t include some lecherous bastard takin’ liberties!” “No. They do not.” “Listen, I know how you feel and I’m not averse to fulfilling those “needs”. Honest I’m not.” Kayleigh scoffed, “Yeah right! I’ll believe that when I see it. If I made a serious move on you right now, you’d run a mile. You’d be off down those stairs faster than Usain Bolt.“ “What makes you so sure?” “Experience. With you, it’s so far and no further. I’ve heard every excuse in the book. “Let’s not rush things”, “Oh heck, is that the time? We’ve got an early start in the morning”. My personal favourite is, “Pat next door’s bringing back me orbital sander”. You’re hot and cold more often than a dodgy boiler John Redmond. It’s like that Victoria Wood song. I’m saying “Let’s do it!” and I half expect you to say “Me mother’s sent a note to say you must excuse me.” John was smiling, “D’ya want me to beat you on the bottom with a Woman’s Weekly then?” Kayleigh couldn’t help but chuckle, “You’re missing the point!” “I’m not. Believe me, I understand. You’re frustrated that we haven’t....you know...” “Oh I know! The word is sex John and frankly if you can’t even say it, I’m more than a bit concerned about you’re ability to actually do it!” “Hey! I can do it. Trust me. I’ve had no complaints” “Well I wouldn’t know, would I? Should I check the reviews on TripAdvisor?” “Don’t be smart”. “I’m not bein’ “smart”. That’s exactly what I’ve got to do, trust ya. I’ve got to trust that I’m not completely wasting my time here. That it isn’t the case that you love me but you’re just not “in love” with me.” The turn of phrase immediately caused him to sit up in bed. The atmosphere changing almost immediately. “Is this about Charlotte?” “No. It’s not about Charlotte, it’s about us.” “Then why are you digging up the past?” “I’m not!” “You are! I told you months ago that was one of the reasons why I broke up with her. You seriously think that’s how I feel about you just because we haven’t slept together yet!?” “I don’t know what to think John.” “Mother of Pearl! I tell you I love you. More than anyone I’ve ever known and you translate that to mean I love you like a mate but otherwise I’m not that fussed!? How about when we’re together? It’s not exactly as though there’s no passion there. I’ve got the bruises to prove it! In case you somehow missed it, I fancy you like mad!” “That’s the point!” “Oh, there’s a point to this? Thank Fuck!” “Now you’re just being a shit!” “Oh, I’m a shit now, am I!?” With that John got up and headed to the door, “Where are you goin’!?” “To wait for you to cool down and to be a shit in the comfort of my own home.” “Fine. Sod off then. All you ever do is avoid the issue.” “What bloody issue!?” “Why you don’t want to have sex with me?!” “I do want to have sex with you!” “So why do you keep fobbin’ me off?!” “TED2!”

 It hung in the air between them for several seconds. Kayleigh looked both confused and aghast and John looked mortified. After what felt like an eternity, the silence was interrupted by a knock at the door, followed by Mandy’s voice, unfamiliar and a strange combination of 1940’s telephonist and vaguely patronising flight attendant, “Eh, sorry to disturb but could I suggest lowering the volume slightly? If I could avoid the necessity for Sex Education with two primary schoolers over the Sunday roast that would be very much appreciated. Thank you.” As they heard her footsteps retreat back down the stairs, Kayleigh tentatively re-opened the conversation, “Ted 2? What the hell does he have to do with our sex life?” “You really fancied him.” Kayleigh was bewildered by this random statement of the blatantly obvious, “Eh, Yeah. I’m not sure you’d find a heterosexual woman with a pulse, who wouldn’t. I also really fancy Jake Gyllenhaal and Bradley Cooper and if I was ever going to reassess my sexuality, you know that Beyoncé would definitely get it.  I’ve got about as much chance with them John, as I do with Ted 2. It’s a fantasy. If I’d wanted to talk to him, unleash my inner cougar and probably make an absolute bloody fool of myself, I would have done it. I didn’t. That’s because sometimes it’s just nice to dream but know that dream will never be a reality. The truth is, you don’t really want it to be. Especially when reality is so much better. I’ve never had much luck when it comes to romance, you know that. I was beginning to think that it wasn’t going to happen for me. That happiness was something I’d always dream about but I’d never know. Then I put my name down for a bloody company car sharing scheme, checked the notice board and Cath Hilton had just helped me win the lottery of life. You came along. You. With all your quirks and imperfections, with all your wonderful and infuriating. You’re my dream come true John Redmond”. Despite himself, he felt teary. As was his habit, he desperately tried to pass it off, “If I’m your dream come true, you mustn’t have much of an imagination.” “Oh you’d be amazed.” She gave him a wicked grin and winked. Despite her reassurances though, John still looked subdued. “Let me tell you exactly what my dream always was. It was to meet a man who made me laugh until I cried. Who didn’t bore me to death. Who listened to my stories, treated me with respect and made me feel valued and special. Who didn’t just see me as some ditsy girl. Someone who was kind and made me feel safe. A man I could love so much it made my heart ache and who I knew loved me too. One that I could actually see myself building a life with. Throw in beautiful, twinkly blue eyes and the loveliest smile, a cuddle and a takeaway on a Sunday night and there it is. My idea of perfection.” “What about a six pack and a tight ass?” “What about them?” “Isn’t that what you want too?” “That’s what all this is about isn’t it? You feel self-conscious.” His sudden fascination with the bedroom carpet said it all. “John. Look at me.” Tentatively he looked up. “I feel nervous too. I keep thinkin’ about me muffin top and Cagney and Lacey aren’t quite the formidable crime fighting duo they once were.” John smiled, “Why do you think I started going to boot camp? I wanted you to see me at my best.” “You’re always at your best and you always will be. You’re the loveliest, most beautiful woman I’ve ever known and every day you’re more gorgeous than the next.” “See that? Right there? That’s better than any six pack and that’s why I love you. You’re not looking for me to change, or be something I’m not and never will be and I’m not looking for you to do that either. I’m not interested in some buffed up gym bunny. I don’t want Ted 2, I want John 1.” “Do ya, really?” She moved seductively towards him, “Yes I do. I Really, really, really do.” With that she kissed him. This time it felt so much less desperate and urgent and so much more relaxed, yet with an intensity that was overwhelming. Within minutes their hands were touching and exploring, with a renewed confidence and the lure of the tiny single bed was immense. 

 This time it was Kayleigh who called time on their passion. “John?” She gasped. “Hmm?” Came a distracted reply from the region of her neck. “Don’t hate me but I think we should stop.” He did, immediately but for a moment he didn’t move. Slowly he lifted his head. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” She began to panic at his frustrated expression, “I know. It’s just...” Suddenly, he broke into a reassuring smile, “Don’t worry. I’m just winding you up. I know what you mean. I don’t want our first time to be in your sister’s box room with walls like paper, a bed designed for a ten year old and the prospect of your niece and nephew walkin in on us at any moment. Not to mention your brother in law and my best mate just outside the window and your sister cookin a roast dinner in the kitchen downstairs. I mean, a little bit of distraction can sometimes be useful in these situations but there’s distraction and then there’s bloody off putting.” She whispered in his ear, “We’ll have our moment....soon. I promise”. “Too damn right we will! Do you have plans for next weekend?” “Nope, nothing in the diary.” “Well, how about when I pick you up on Friday morning, you bring some clothes and whatever other bits you need and stay with me for a few days? We’ll do whatever you want to do. Go out for dinner, or stay in and grab a takeaway, watch a DVD, or go to the cinema. Whatever you feel like you wanna do. No pressure. Just you and me....and if during that time Cagney and Lacey decide they want to let me help them with their inquiries, I’d definitely be up for that.” Kayleigh grinned, “Oh you’d be up for that would you?” John chuckled, “I absolutely would. Those two still know how to get their man and I can tell ya, I’d be more than happy to be detained at their pleasure.” Kayleigh laughed long and hard, “You’re such an idiot but I love ya to bits.” “Right back at ya gorgeous. I take it that’s a yes.” “Of course it is!” The heart shaped lamp on the windowsill suddenly caught John’s attention. “Still up there I see.” “Yep and it’s goin’ nowhere. I’m keepin’ that lamp always. Even when it doesn’t work anymore, it’s stayin’ with me.” “You really did like it eh?” “You don’t get it do ya? That’s when I knew.” “Knew what?” “That I loved you.” “When I bought you a plastic novelty lamp!?” “It wasn’t so much the lamp. It was what it meant. You could have bought me anything. A gift voucher, some flowers, or a bottle of Prosecco but you didn’t. You remembered something I said to you weeks before, in passing, about a heart shaped lamp that I liked and instead of forgetting about it, or just ignoring me, like most blokes would have done, you actually listened to me, you heard me and you cared. You held on to what I said and you chased it down to Preston and you bought it for me, just to make me happy.” By now they both had tears in their eyes. “And that is why that lamp is staying with me.” John instantly replied, “With us. It’s stayin’ with us. Forever.”

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Things I know about the people on Taskmaster Australia season 2, before I start watching it (I mean, it's sort of season 3, or something, but it's season 2 now, we have to refer to them by the order in which they're aired or it'll get incredibly confusing):

- When I was browsing the Chortle MICF reviews to see if there was anyone I didn't know who looked interesting and maybe I'd want to look up their stuff and/or add them to my Edinburgh list this year, I clicked on someone named Jenny Tian. I saw the words "Tik-Tok star" and closed the page again, no longer interested. Perhaps it will turn out that was totally unfairly judgmental of me and she's great. I sort of hope so. Please prove me wrong and tear down my unfair biases, Tik-Tok star.

- Obviously I know Lloyd Langford. I don't know him all that well, but he's turned up as a guest on plenty of things I've watched and listened to, and I've almost always liked him well enough. By "almost always", I mean "every time except that time when I was going through a phase of watching everything I could find by Rhod Gilbert, and I watched that old panel show called Ask Rhod Gilbert, on which Lloyd Langford was a regular, and it was a terrible show, but that's not Lloyd Langford's fault".

- Wil Anderson was the favourite "alternative comedian" of Zoe Coombs Marr's character Dave, in her stand-up show Dave, in which the joke was that he's actually a very mainstream and popular Australian comedian and her character is ignorant for considering him alternative (based on reviews I've read, I think when she performed that show in the UK, she changed it from Wil Anderson to Adam Hills). Also, Wil Anderson was the guy Daniel Kitson decided to start a parody beef with in 2005, and in retaliation Wil Anderson sicced a horrible journalist on Kitson, which became that routine in his 2005 show about how much he hated that journalist. I think in that routine too, the joke was sort of that Wil Anderson is a very mainstream popular comedian (Kitson ironically suggesting that he was going to upset the mainstream comedians with his routine). Despite this, I don't actually know any more about him than that.

- Anne Edmonds is the reason Lloyd Langford is no longer in Wales, because he got married to her in Australia. Normally I try to be careful not to define female comedians by their male partners, but in my defense, in this case, most comedians I know are British, so it's reasonable for me to know the British one and not the Australian one in this couple. Her latest stand-up show has recently been released as a special, though, and I've downloaded it and intend to watch it, and then I will know her better than him as I haven't seen Lloyd Langford's stand-up. But for now I know nothing else about her.

- No idea who Josh Thomas is, though I don't mean that as an insult, like, "This guy's so unimportant that I haven't even heard of him!" I mean it as, I don't know a lot about the Australian comedy industry. Josh Thomas is probably lovely.

- Fun fact, Australian Taskmaster Tom Gleeson used to be in a band with the guy who stole Daniel Kitson's girlfriend in 2004.

- Tom Cashman is a great Taskmaster's assistant. Though I only know that from the previous season, I haven't started the new one yet so I guess it's possible that he's got much worse at his job since then. Hopefully not though.

[sebeth]

Babs-a-thon, Part 3

Warning, Spoilers Ahead…

Batgirl Special (1988) by Barbara Randall and Barry Kitson.

Barbara Randall was the writer of Secret Origins #20.

We start with a Cormorant flashback: “Four years ago, Cormorant killed me.  I was so proud.  I thought I was cheating an assassin of his assignment.  But she wasn’t his target.  The bullets cut through my pride first.  In the pain, I completely forgot about his hostage. Luckily the girl ran away.  I saved myself.  He thought I was dead.  But he’d killed part of me, reduced my world to a haze of pain and self-protection.  I’d never been hurt before.  Not like that.  I’d been an innocent hero.  Cormorant changed that.’

I researched Cormorant and he debuted in Detective Comics #491 (1980) in the “Assassination of Batgirl” story.  I haven’t read the story and the images are a bit confusing.  We know from the Secret Origins flashback and from page 1 of the Batgirl special that Cormorant shot a dummy dressed like Batgirl and it fell from a building.  Bab’s narration implies that she herself was shot but the art doesn’t show any wounds. Has anyone read the original story – was Barbara actually shot?

I find it interesting that Barbara encountered many of the Gotham rogues and it’s a garden-variety assassin that deeply traumatized her.  I don’t doubt Barbara’s heroism but she did begin her Batgirl career with a “thrill of the adventure” motive.  Cormorant seemed to be her wake-up call that the vigilante lifestyle isn’t all fun and games.

We return to the present and Barbara has resumed her librarian career.  There is a dead man with a knife in his back laying in the aisle.

Bab’s immediately suspects Cormorant: “That was four years ago, but it never stops happening.  He’s been killing me in my dreams ever since. Every time I’m scared, I see him. Every time I dream of him, I wake up shaking.  And now this. A murder right under my nose, in my library.  Did he leave the hat to taunt me?  Does he know who I am?  Doesn’t matter.  This time I’ve got him cold.  Nice of him to leave his calling card.  Hope his head gets cold without it.”

There’s the Babs I know – she may be scared but she doesn’t back down from a challenge.

Barbara dispatches another librarian to call the police while she inspects the crime scene: “Cormorant’s behind this – I know it!  I should never have ignored him for so long.  How could I have been so stupid!  By not going after Cormorant after he tried to kill me, I’ve left him free to kill again!  He was my responsibility, and I’ve failed!  Well, now’s the time to fix things!”

The hat is a flimsy clue – Barbara’s trauma/fixation on Cormorant is causing her to exclude other suspects.

Babs removes a note from the dead body: “Sorry, guys.  But I know who the killer is and this may help me find him.”

Um, Barbara, you actually don’t know who the killer is.  Also, as the daughter of a police commissioner, you should know that removing possible evidence is a no-no.  It won’t to any good to catch Cormorant if you’ve removed evidence that could lead to his conviction.

The corpse is identified as David Scarrano.  Bab’s discovers he is the son Anthony Paul Scarrano a.k.a. General Scarr a.k.a. the man who hired Cormorant to assassinate Batgirl.

Babs researches David’s past: “He’s got a history of arrests without convictions – Scarr must be putting pressure on somebody big.  All his crimes are violent.  Cross-check shows all female victims.  His father must have decided he was becoming a liability and sent his top assassin after him.”

Barbara heads home and inspects her gear: “I have a particular routine I follow when I’m going to go out.  It’s a weapons check, but more.  My personality is also checked, reined in – I’m all business on a case.  After all, my life depends not only on careful preparation, but on my staying alert and aware…Everything checks out but me.  I’m so tired and scared I’ve got to sleep or I’ll tremble myself to death…Cormorant’s been quiet for years…Why’d he choose now to come back?  And what am I going to do when I see him?  What if he hurts me again?”

5:04 am: A body is dropped in front of the Gotham City Police 13th Precinct Station. The body has a note attached to it: “I don’t care for killing, but it must be done.  This man and others like him have committed foul crimes against woman and gone free.  If no one else will come forward to stop the abuse, the fear, them I must.  I am justice.  I am the hand that delivers womankind from fear with a single slash.”

Yeah, it’s safe to say Cormorant isn’t the killer.  Gotham media names the killer “Slash”.

9:05 am: Barbara is woken by the arrival of Marcy.  Marcy, Barbara’s childhood best friend, debuted in Secret Origins #20.

Babs is wearing a “U2” nightgown so Babs must be a fan of Bono and company.

Marcy has a few questions for Barbara: “What the hell do you think you’re doing?  Did you think I wouldn’t who ‘Batgirl’ was?  Do you think this is a game or something?  Did you ever stop to think about how worried I’d be when I found out you were out there risking your life just to get your jollies? Do you want to get yourself killed or something?”

Babs calms Marcy down and the girls spend the morning catching up.  Babs brings out a photo album that contains photos of Jason Bard.

Jason was the great romance of pre-Crisis Barbara.  Babs notes “Jason Bard.  I spent a lot of time with him.  We lost touch when I ran off to Congress.”

The above line indicates the Babs-Jason romance is over but early issues of Birds of Prey (written by Chuck Dixon) have the couple engaged.  Barbara reveals the engagement ended because Jason “couldn’t protect her” from the Joker.

I’m not sure how Jason would be able to protect Barbara as he wasn’t even in the building during the Killing Joke.  Let’s chalk it up to an out-of-character moment for Babs due to Chuck Dixon’s desire to kickstart the Babs-Dick romance.  Dixon needed to end Bab’s only major romance so he went with the easy option of “my man couldn’t protect me” route.  The engagement and subsequent break-up is completely unnecessary as the “Batgirl Special” states that the duo couldn’t make the long-distance relationship work.

Slash murders Mr. Iverson: “I have just killed you.  I have done this because of your crimes against women.  You will die here on the street, Mr. Iverson, and no one will help you. Just as no one could help them: Leticia Munoz, Crystal Kale, Kathryn Bautier.”

Slash is masked and sporting a trench coat and a Cormorant-style hat.  Slash later removes the coat revealing a Frances Kane-style costume with plenty of knives.  Slash is definitely female.

Barbara researches Cormorant’s current location – a home in Westchester County registered under the name of Edward Wells.  

Babs’ obsession with Cormorant continues.  The police and media have ascertained the killer is female but all Babs sees is Cormorant.

Babs heads to Westchester County to confront Cormorant: “If I don’t face up to him alone. I’ll never stop being afraid of him!  And I’ll never know if I could.”

Cormorant is watching tv as his bruised wife brings him dinner.  Cormorant receives a call – he has been hired to eliminate Slash.  The identity of the caller isn’t revealed but a safe bet would be General Scarr.

Cormorant’s excited to hunt Cormorant: “This Slash’s been pretty brave against unarmed men.  We’ll just have to see how she handles someone tougher…”

Batgirl cases the house from a nearby tree: “He’s cleaning weapons.  But I haven’t actually seen him commit any crimes.  Even if I know he’s guilty, I can’t attack him.  But he’ll try again, try to kill someone else. When he does, I’ll be ready for him. But not now.”

Marcy pulls up and orders Babs into the car.  Marcy wisely points out that Babs should call in Batman or the cops to assist her in the case.

The duo enter Gotham and Babs hears a scream.  Babs tracks the source of the scream only to discover Nightwing and Robin have beaten her to it.  Yay for Dick and Jason working together!

An anonymous woman hires Slash to kill Cormorant.  We can safely guess the identity of the woman.

Babs investigates the next likely murder victim – Anthony Caterino.

Marcy warns Babs: “You’ve got to watch it.  Being too obsessed can get in the way of your instincts.  Don’t blind yourself to the obvious.  You really need to ease off or you’ll crack!”

Marcy is full of great advice – it’s too bad we never see her again after this issue.  It’s established that Marcy has moved to Gotham but we never see her again.  Did Babs push Marcy away in the aftermath of the Killing Joke?

Batgirl interrupts Slash’s murder of Anthony Caterino.  Slash requests Batgirl to join her.  Babs informs Slash: “I catch them, not kill them.  I let the courts decide who’s guilty.

Slash gains the upper hand and murders Caterino.

Batgirl warns Slash: “Watch your back, woman.  I’m coming to get you.  I don’t buy your lies.  No killing is justified ever.”

“Once upon a time, Cormorant killed me.  I’ve been dying ever since.  But I’ve never let it stopped me.  Never. Until now.  Then the dream comes and he’s after me again, only now he’s got a partner.  They chase me and kill me, over and over and over again.  I’m too scared to stop them.  Why bother?  Just let them come and end the pain, end my…no.  I give up.  I’m tired of hurting.  God, I can’t feel my arm!  I can’t do this!  I give up. I quit.  Batgirl’s through.”

I love Bab’s characterization in the Crisis of Infinite Earths, Secret Origins, and the Batgirl Special.  Bab’s doubts and the struggles she endures ring true to me.  

Bab’s returns home and Marcy patches her up.  Marcy reminds Babs: “You’ve got your memory.  Your intelligence.  Use them.”

Despite the “I quit” moment from the night before Babs is back on the case: “I can’t stand the thought of leaving loose ends.”

Babs patrols from 1 am to 7am but doesn’t see any action as any potential encounter is resolved by another hero: “I’m just a minor force among heroes these days.  This city – this world – is well protected without my help.”

Barbara decides to leave the capture of Slash for the other heroes and focus on Cormorant: “When he’s caught, Batgirl can retire in peace!”

Batgirl confronts Cormorant at his house only to be interrupted by Slash.  A three-way brawl interrupts and Babs contemplates leaving: “I could just let them kill each other, then step in and sort out the pieces. No, that’s not what being a hero’s all about.”

Cormorant has Babs cornered and she throws a knife to save him from Slash: “Who do I save – him or myself? There’s no choice.  I can’t let anyone take a life I can save!”

Cormorant exclaims: “Hey! You knifed her!  You saved me! Just like all women, eh?  Pretend to hate men, then do anything to save us! Well, babe, I appreciate the save, but it doesn’t mean you’re off the hook!  I’m still gonna take you out…now, Batgirl, we’re gonna have some fun.”

Babs disgustedly states “No” and opens a can of whup-ass on Cormorant.

Cormorant’s wife hands Slash a gun while the duo fight.  Slash shoots Cormorant in the head.

Babs heads home and hands Marcy her Batgirl costume: “I just finished my last case.  Batgirl’s all finished.  There’re others out there now who can do this as well or better than me, with less pain.  I’ll help them, maybe without letting them know.  But I’m done going out there myself…It’s like starting a brand-new life, one where I don’t need this.”

Marcy wonders if “there’s another little Babs out there right now?”

Babs responds: “I hope not. But if there is, maybe I’ll talk her out of it.  Or give her the costume.”

DC had been attempting to retire Batgirl since the late 1970s.  The ‘Batgirl Special” nicely accomplishes it.  Babs has hung up the costume but can be brought back as Batgirl at any time.  We even have foreshadowing for an Oracle-type role or as a mentor to a new Batgirl.

The end of Barbara’s story, right?  Not exactly. Instead of leaving Barbara on a shelf where a future writer can remove for a story, she’s rudely stuffed into a fridge in “The Killing Joke”.

I’m not spending much time on the “Killing Joke”.  A subpar story with the only positive being Brian Bolland’s art.  The story is insulting to Babs – she’s off-handedly crippled by the Joker and the photos adds more salt to the wound.  Batman sharing a laugh with the Joker at the end? Completely infuriating!

Barbara receives a one-panel cameo in “A Death In The Family” when she attends Jason Todd’s funeral. Bet you’re not laughing now, Bruce!

Barbara was not close to the Wayne family at this point in the comics – she isn’t aware of Batman or either Robin’s secret identities so I assume she’s attending the funeral to support her father – a close friend of Bruce Wayne.  Babs is wheelchair-bound so “A Death In The Family” takes place soon after “The Killing Joke”.

Babs-a-thon part 4 will feature the early days of Oracle: Batman Chronicles, the Suicide Squad, and Showcase.

[delightfullysubatomic]

Where to find Tim Key’s writing  on the internet

Instagram

Love the pando poems but they’re in the books. His daily series in the run up to the Dec 2019 election is great and is only on Instagram. I reread it all a little while ago (with some googling to remember what was going on each day to work out what each one was about) and the final one was even more depressing now considering everything that’s happened in the last couple of years.

The Guardian

https://www.theguardian.com/profile/tim-key

Other The Guardian writing:

https://www.theguardian.com/stage/2022/aug/06/tall-stories-performers-on-their-wildest-edinburgh-moments

https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2019/dec/07/i-got-obsessed-with-chris-tarrant-so-i-painted-him-comics-on-why-they-make-art

https://www.theguardian.com/stage/2018/mar/11/on-my-radar-tim-key-cultural-highlights

https://www.theguardian.com/stage/2017/jun/29/tim-key-the-funniest-thing

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2016/dec/18/the-50-funniest-comedy-films-chosen-comedians-stewart-lee-sarah-millican-david-baddiel

https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2014/mar/14/five-tips-to-being-a-better-poet-by-tim-key

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2012/may/06/twitter-top-feeds-celebrity-tweeters

https://www.theguardian.com/culture/gallery/2011/feb/13/seven-days-with-tim-key

https://www.theguardian.com/theobserver/2010/dec/26/quiz-of-the-year-2010 [with Alex and Mark]

https://www.theguardian.com/music/2010/nov/06/tim-key-reviews-this-weeks-singles

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2009/dec/21/tim-key-top-10-bite-sized-books

The Independent

https://www.independent.co.uk/author/tim-key (19 Sept 2013 is first one)

Earlier columns not listed on that page (there might be more but if so I couldn’t find them):

https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/tim-key-daniel-kitson-knows-what-he-wants-and-he-ll-physically-smash-my-hands-to-pieces-to-get-it-8811319.html (12 Sept 2013)

https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/tim-key-i-ve-got-a-part-in-a-play-is-there-time-to-go-to-drama-school-or-hone-a-special-voice-8796228.html (5 Sept 2013)

https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/tim-key-for-my-10th-birthday-i-saw-little-and-large-in-concert-it-blew-my-mind-8789507.html (29 Aug 2013)

https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/tim-key-i-had-bought-provisions-for-my-stay-in-the-lakes-sausages-and-hula-hoops-8770909.html (16 Aug 2013)

https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/tim-key-if-i-ever-die-be-sure-to-scatter-my-ashes-around-the-edinburgh-fringe-8754340.html (9 Aug 2013)

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/features/imagine-trying-to-do-your-job-with-alan-partridge-glaring-at-you-tim-key-on-being-alpha-papa-s-sidekick-simon-8742438.html (6 August 2013)

https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/tim-key-i-ve-never-been-a-big-festival-goer-at-15-i-was-more-likely-to-help-varnish-a-boat-8738222.html (1 Aug 2013)

https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/tim-key-changing-tyres-isn-t-my-forte-i-m-not-a-man-in-that-sense-i-can-t-change-anything-8728136.html (23 July 2013)

https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/tim-key-i-captained-my-school-football-team-in-1992-so-i-m-no-stranger-to-the-big-stage-8697266.html (10 July 2013)

https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/comment/tim-key-i-ve-framed-cd-sleeves-playing-cards-crisp-packets-even-my-oyster-card-8685653.html?amp (3 July 2013)

https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/commentators/tim-key-the-doctor-prised-me-from-my-nest-and-we-waddled-to-the-heath-for-boules-8675356.html (26 June 2013)

https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/commentators/tim-key-i-used-to-love-cricket-with-my-dad-he-was-an-adult-so-he-could-hit-the-ball-for-miles-8646198.html (6 June 2013)

https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/commentators/tim-key-staffordshire-is-as-good-a-place-as-any-to-scream-the-words-oh-my-god-no-stop-8636833.html (30 May 2013)

https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/commentators/tim-key-if-you-don-t-have-to-tranquilise-an-animal-to-get-it-into-your-zoo-it-shouldn-t-come-in-8627558.html (22 May 2013)

https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/commentators/tim-key-we-couldn-t-call-mountain-rescue-or-justifiably-perish-so-we-pressed-on-8617992.html (15 May 2013)

https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/commentators/tim-key-we-d-acquired-the-reindeer-head-from-a-finnish-military-man-called-snoopy-8607807.html (9 May 2013)

https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/commentators/tim-key-if-you-re-revamping-a-magazine-you-d-better-make-it-a4-or-it-ain-t-happening-8599828.html (1 May 2013)

Other The Independent writing:

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/comedy/features/cultural-life-tim-key-comedian-8226809.html

https://www.independent.co.uk/student/into-university/clearing/my-student-days-six-musicians-actors-and-comedians-fondly-reminisce-9666657.html?amp

https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/features/imagine-trying-to-do-your-job-with-alan-partridge-glaring-at-you-tim-key-on-being-alpha-papa-s-sidekick-simon-8742438.html

iNews: https://inews.co.uk/author/tim-key

Huffington Post: 

https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/author/tim-key

Time Out:

https://www.timeout.com/london/comedy/tim-keys-love-poem-to-london

https://www.timeout.com/london/news/tim-key-on-why-this-year-will-be-great-for-live-comedy-021221

https://www.timeout.com/london/comedy/tim-keys-top-10-stand-up-comedians

https://www.timeout.com/london/comedy/tim-key-introduces-a-poem-you-can-personalise

https://www.timeout.com/london/comedy/tim-keys-poems-in-pictures

We Need Answers blogs / NMW:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/comedy/2010/02/tim-keys-new-opponent-no-more.shtml

https://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/comedy/no-more-women

Vice:

25 Poems, 3 Recipes and 32 Other Suggestions (An Inventory). Snippet: https://www.vice.com/en/article/dpjema/tim-key-has-had-an-idea-for-a-film

https://www.vice.com/en/article/znyng4/literary-v15n2 (this one doesn’t really count tbh)

Random Other:

An Ode to Pubs: https://beavertownbrewery.co.uk/blogs/news/an-ode-to-pubs-by-tim-key

[fluffydrunkkayleigh]

My ending for Car Share

This is what I thought could happen after Kayleigh got out of the car. I switch a lot between Kayleigh's point of view and John's point of view. It was just an idea that came to me when I was bored on a long car journey, I have never written anything like this before but needed an ending, hope you like it😊 The Gymkhana Performance Kayleigh's POV "Because I love you that's why, and it's killing me that you don't feel the same." I pick up my bag and leave the car, walking down the road I see an empty taxi so I give the driver our Mandy's address. Before I get into the taxi I look back, if John did care surly he would be coming. I just see him sitting there, he doesn't care. In the taxi the radio is on Forever FM and Kayleigh by Marillion starts playing. John's POV The phone rings and I answers it "Hello?" "John it's me, where did you say that quiche was?" My Nana asks through the car speakers. "Erm… It's in the fridge" "Are you done?" "Yeah, I'm done. I'll be there soon okay? Bye" I hang up and the end of Kayleigh is playing on the radio. I turn it off and drive in silence, the taxi drives out of sight. After driving for a while I have an idea, I calls Mandy and Steve, Steve answers the phone. "Hi John is everything okay?" "Hi Steve, erm I was calling to see if all of you wanted to come to a gymkhana I'm doing on Saturday" "Is Kayleigh not with you? Where is she?" "She left, we had a fight… If you come please bring her. Just don't say that I'll be there." "I'm sorry to hear that John, you know I've never seen her happier than when she's with you. That smile you see every day, that laugh you hear. I'd never seen it from her before, you make her happier than I think I've ever seen her. I'm sure it will be fine, she'll come round. See you Saturday yeah?" "Yeah I'll send you more information when I'm not driving. Bye" John hangs up and thinks about what Steve had just told him. "Why did you have to be so stupid? Why couldn't you have just told her?" I say to myself. My phone buzzes with a message. I look at the message and see the name Kayleigh "John don't bother coming to get me tomorrow, I'll make my own way to and from work." I can't reply, I've lost her. If this doesn't work it's all over. Kayleigh's POV I sit in the back of the taxi listening to the music on Forever FM. The driver pulls up outside our Mandy's, I pay him and get out. Walking up to the house our Mandy opens the front door. "Here Kayleigh I got you a new key. Kayleigh why did you get a taxi? Where's John?" "I don't wanna talk about it, I'm really sorry about the locks Mandy." "Don't worry about the locks Kayleigh lets get inside, tell me what happened between you." I walk into the house followed by my little sister. We sit down and Steve comes in with cups of tea. "Thanks Steve." "Here, I've got us all tickets to some event on Saturday, you should come with us." "I don't know, I don't feel like doing anything right now." "Okay love but please think about coming." Friday Kayleigh's POV After spending an hour on public transport getting into work I got off the tram and realised that I still didn't know where I was going. I walk towards where John had waited for me the only time I had to come in without him. I look to where he was waiting to see a blue car parked in its place. I call the only person I can. "Hi Elsie could you direct me from the tram stop to work, I don't know where I'm going." "Hi Kayleigh, of course I can." She directs me till I'm almost at work. Her telling me all of the latest news about everyone at work. Each piece of gossip followed by her usual line. "I'm saying nothing, I'm not a gossip." Somehow between all the gossip Elsie had directed me almost to work. "Hey why aren't you with John? You know I'm not a gossip, you can tell me." "I erm he was running late and told me to come in on my own to be in on time." "Well that's a lie, Mr Redmond, here why am I having to direct Kayleigh into work?" I hear John start talking but before I hear what he says I hang up on Elsie. I know the rest of the way to work from here so I walk slowly there. John's POV "Elsie I really don't have time to talk right now, I'm sposed to be in a meeting." I walk away from Elsie as quickly as I can. "I heard the message you sent into the radio for Kayleigh." She shouts after me. "At least someone did." I say quietly before going into my meeting. All day I keep seeing Kayleigh, I've never seen her so sad. I want to talk to her, I just wish I knew what to say. "Tomorrow, you can fix everything tomorrow." I have to keep reminding myself. At the end of the day I sit in the car watching the staff door. A few people come out then Kayleigh comes out, I smile at her she looks over for a second but walks away. She still looks so sad. Why was I so stupid, why couldn't I have just told her? What if she doesn't come tomorrow, what if it doesn't work? Kayleigh's POV I walk out of work at the end of the day and see John sitting in his car. I look at him, he's smiling. Why is he smiling at me? I walk away and start the long journey home. Elsie runs to catch up with me. "Oh hi Elsie I didn't see you." "Kayleigh you need to tell me what happened with you and John. After that message he sent to the radio station I was sure you would be together." "Wait, message? What message?" "The message he sent in saying nobody puts Kayleigh in the corner right before they played that Kayleigh song by… oh who is it?" "The song by Marillion? I never heard the message." Oh John that's what you were doing. It must have been between when I left his car and got into the taxi, I must have only just missed it. "We're you not together then? Had he already dropped you off?" "Yeah something like that." I don't want to say what really happened I don't want Elsie, the woman who says nothing telling everyone. I don't want this to be talk of the shop. Saturday John's POV "So your bird is coming then?" "For the last time Jim she's not my bird." "Yeah yeah, I'll just see later won't I?" "Hmm… Lets just sort out this set list." "Okay so we start with In The City yeah?" "Actually I was thinking we could end with that, there's something I want to do." We finish sorting the set list as I drive there. When we get there we start setting up our equipment I keep looking out into the crowd for any sign that Kayleigh is here. I search for her, Mandy, Steve or the kids but can't see any of them. "You looking for your bird?" "She's not… You know what I give up trying to tell you." Kayleigh's POV We finally arrive at the event and I can get out from being squashed between Alfie and Chloe in the back of our Mandy's Citron. We all walk through the gate into a field filled with different stalls. I pick up a program and look through the list of what's on. I look down the list "Dog agility, Compendium" "Mandy did you know about this?" I ask showing her the program. "What's that love, Compendium? No I don't think I've heard of them." "It's John's band, the one I was telling you about a couple weeks ago." I walk over to where Steve is "Is this why you wanted me to come so much?" I show him the program and point at Compendium. "Compendium, never heard of them. Is it some band you like?" "It's John's band" "Oh that's nice, you get to see your work friend." He smiles at me, I had told our Mandy about what happens between me and John late last night but had told her not to say to Steve anything that had happened. The less people that know about it the better. We all walk around looking at the different stalls. Alfie and Chloe play some of the games they have set out for kids and we go to the stage area to watch the dog agility. When they finish the person talking through the speakers announces "Up next we have a small local band called Compendium" The kids run right up to the stage and Steve follows them. Mandy looks at me concerned. "Are you okay with staying, we can leave if you want." "No, I'm fine. I think. Let's get up there with them." John and Jim walk on stage. "It's uncle John the cripple!" Shout Alfie and Chloe together. "Chloe! Alfie! You can't say that!" Kayleigh laughs remembering that morning. John falling over trying to post the letter to his Nanna. The Peppa Pig sling. I miss him so much. John's POV As Jim introduces us I look out into the audience that had gathered to watch us perform. I see Kayleigh laughing, it's only been one day without her but God I miss her laugh. Let's do this. All the time we are performing I can't take my eyes off her. I watch her dancing with the kids. We reach the end of our set and it's time for me to introduce the last song, it's now or never John you can do this. "Now it's time for our last song but it is a very special song, it's one we wrote together and today I'm going to be singing it to he most important person in my life." I look straight at Kayleigh. "Miss Kitson this songs for you." She looks between Mandy and Steve shocked, both of them smiling. We sing the song up on stage in front of all the people at the gymkhana but in that moment there is only the two of us in the whole world. We finish the song and Jim leaves the stage. I get up from my keyboard unclip the microphone from its stand, I sit on the edge of the stage in front of Kayleigh. "Kayleigh I love you and never want to spend another day without you. I'm sorry I was too scared of getting hurt in the car the other day, but yesterday without you made me realise that I was more scared of losing you." I jump down from the stage and smile nervously waiting to see her reaction. "It's going to be great working on the Christmas team together!" She laughs. "Cheeky Bit…" I'm cut off as she kisses me. The moment lasts forever. The crowd that we had both forgotten about cheered.

[foreverfmshowerofshit]

I love you alway and forever- a John and Kayleigh fanfciton

Ok so I've never done anything like this before but I am so in love with their relationship that I wanted to give writing a fan fiction a go. I would appreciate all many feedback you have good or bad. If people like this I am considering posting this to AO3 if but I thought I would get the opinions of out Lillie group before I did that. Thanks in advance for any feedback you have. John pulled up outside Kayleigh's house as he did every morning at his usually time, today felt different though a wash of nerves overtook him as his heart began to pound and the palms of his has became sticky with sweat. He waited a minute and as there was no sign of Kayleigh he beeped his horn lightly to let her know he was there as he assumed she just hadn't realised. This made Steve (who was out as usual tinkering with his bike) jump, he obviously hadn't realised John was there. He stood up and walked towards the window of johns car, which he had already wound down in anticipation. "Hello mate" he said in his usual chipper way, "I wasn't expecting you today" he said slightly confused. "Why not?" John replied with the same sense of confusion. "Because Kayleigh's already gone" he stated "she left about half an hour ago , she said something about you having an early morning meeting that meant you couldn't pick her up." "I said no such thing" John said angrily. "Oh sorry mate" Steve replied followed by a pause, "you know shes not be her usual self ever since you dropped her off on Friday" he went on to say. "I didn't drop her off on Friday" john mumbled. "Didn't you?" Steve begun, "why not?" "We had a bit of an argument" john answered. "Oh really" Steve said. "What about?" He continued. "She told me she loved me" john admitted "and I didn't reply. "Oh" john sighed in realisation " you do love her though, don't you?" Steve questioned. "You know I do" john uttered wishfully. "Well then tell her" Steve ordered "it's too late now Steve" john said sounding defeated. "I had my chance and I blew it." "It's not john she love you I can tell, I've never known her so unhappy as she's been this weekend and I've never seen her happier than when she's with you. That smile you see on her face every morning as she walks out of the house to meet you, your the only person she smiles like that at, and that giggle the one she does when ever you speak, I'd never heard that before she met you. She loves you john more than you even know and if you let that go your mad. That's not the kind of thing that comes around every day." John knew Steve's words were true but he just didn't see how he was going to tell her. "If only it were that simple" John replied. "It's only more complicated if you make it so, John. You love her and she loves you, pure and simple." John looked up sharply at those words that he recognised from the CD Kayleigh had given him and how happy the though of her made him. Steve smiled, knowing what those words meant to John, he used deliberately just to see his reactions and it was exactly what Steve had expected. He knew Kayleigh's feelings for John and John had just inadvertently just confined he felt exactly the same. I'd better go Steve sorry or else I'll be late for work" John said as he put his car into gear and pulled away from the end of the driveway. John drove the rest of the way to work in silence. He at one point had switched the radio on only to be met with Gabrielle Alpin's please don't say you love me. The words "please don't say you love me, cause I might not say it back." Came billowing out of the speakers at the front of his car. He quickly switched the radio off as tears began to blur his vision of the road in front of him. With her words and Steve's on repeat in his head he drove the rest of the way to work slowly and slightly distracted, thinking about how much he had messed up his chance at happiness last time m, and how much easier it would be to keep away than to risk doing it again. Elsie grabbed Kayleigh's arm as she walked through the staff entrance as she did every morning. "I heard that dedication from John, Friday night on the radio. It was so sweet." She whispered trying to be as discrete as possible. "What dedication? Kayleigh questioned clearly confused. "The one about not putting Kayleigh in the corner, you know, like that film you like." Elsie prompted expecting Kayleigh to realise what she was talking about. "Dirty Dancing?" Kayleigh queried. "That's it" Elsie replied "I didn't hear any dedication though" Kayleigh continued with the came confused tone. " you must have done" Elsie assured her. "It must have been about half past five, weren't you on your way home with him at that time. He said he was stuck in grid lock so I just assumed he must have been with you. "It must have been after I got out of the car" Kayleigh said to herself quietly. "You got out of his car before you got home?" Elsie questioned. "Yeah we had an argument about our relationship. I told him I loved him and he didn't reply so I got out of his car." Kayleigh explained. "Well it looks like he did reply in his own special way" Elsie said a with a sympathetic look on her face. "Yeah" Kayleigh agreed thoughtfully. "What are you going to do?" Elsie questioned "I don't know Elsie, you know I love him but I can't rely on him. When he knew I was going to miss his little radio message why didn't he just tell me how he felt? I can't carry on waiting for him to make up his mind I need someone who I can depend on." "Who are you trying to convince?" Elsie asked "I know you love him and I am sure he loves you and you can't turn your nose up at that, I've told you before he's a keeper and you need to win him round and hold onto that man, you'll only regret it if you don't" Kayleigh knew Elsie's words made sense but she just wasn't sure she could put herself through that again. "I better go" she said to Elsie, now I haven't got john as my ally on management, I'd better not be late or I might get the sack." Kayleigh uttered as she scurried off. Kayleigh had been thinking about what Elsie had said and what john had done all day. As she walked out the staff entrance she noticed John's car parked in his usual space. She though for a moment and decided she had to bite the bullet and confront him about what Elsie had said. John walked out of work at five o'clock on the dot as he did every evening. He begun to walk towards his car but stopped suddenly when he realised Kayleigh was stood by the side of it. Not like she usually did next though, next to the passenger side door ready to get in, but leaning again the drivers door with her back to the car looking right at him. She smiled slightly as she saw him coming towards her. Her smile was sadder than usual though not like the normal smile he saw, as he came to meet her for the everyday commit home. "Elsie told me what you did" Kayleigh said a slight wobble in her voice caused partly by her nerves and partly by how awkward the situation had just become. "What I did?" John asked, he had decided to play ignorant although he was sure he had a good idea what she was talking about. "The text you sent into the radio!" Kayleigh replied her voice now fuelled more by anger than nerves. "Oh that" John confirmed. "Why didn't you just tell me how you felt John, you said yourself you couldn't understand why Patrick Swayze felt the need to talk in riddles?" Kayleigh questioned clearly confused by the scenario she found herself in. "You know why" John whimpered a definite sense of fear residing in his voice. "What was the worst that could have happened John?" Kayleigh asked concerned about the reply she was about to receive. John answered as his eyes filled with tears"You not feeling the same Kayleigh, that would have been the worst thing, that and me loosing you because of it. I just thought it was safer not to tell you and to carry on as we were, than to tell you and risk loosing you. I couldn't bear that." "But you nearly lost me over it anyway" Kayleigh responded quickly. "I know" John sighed "and for that Kayleigh, I am sorry. But believe me what I said in that text was true at the time and it still is" "well tell me then" Kayleigh pleaded. "What?" John questioned. "Tell me John, for once in your life tell me how you feel." Kayleigh said this more loudly this time and with a hint of desperation. "I...I..." John stuttered. "See you can't say it John, can you? Because you can't admit it to yourself, and until you can admit to yourself how you feel how can you admit it to me? And until you do John there is not chance for me and you, not really. This has to be it john, I can't keep doing this, I've told you before I haven't got time to waste and waiting for you is killing me from the inside out John. I just can do this anymore I'm sorry but this has to be goodbye. Kayleigh's voice became wobbly again as though she was about to cry. She turned quickly and began to march in the opposite direction. "I love you" John yelled after her, his words abrupt and strong and followed by a sharp intake of breath. Kayleigh stopped dead "You what?" she replied and she turned to face him as a tear rolled down he face. "I love you" John repeated much more softly this time with obvious affection in his voice. "I love you too" Kayleigh whispered "always and forever, like that night in the car after the party" a small grin now spread across her face. John took her dainty hands in his and looked deep into her eyes. "I never want to live another day without you Kayleigh Kitson" he uttered adoringly. "You don't have to" she replied in the same devoted tone. Her lips puckered and and John bent down to meet them with his own. He kissed her softly as he held her waist tightly and pulled her in close. After a minute or two as they pulled away slightly Kayleigh wrapped her arms firmly around Johns neck drawing him into a loving hug, a hug that represented the safety and security she now felt knowing she had found the one, the man of her dreams, the man she planned to settle down with and spend the rest of her life beside.