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Kudo is actually such a kind, soft-hearted guy that had to toughen up because he cared too much
He looked at AFO's rule, and even though he was weak, he had that glint in his eye that has been referred to as the "will of a hero" to oppose him. A hopeful glint shared with Midoriya, Bakugo, and Hawks
He even parallels Hawks when they talk about that particular look in their eye
From a glimmer in the eye, to which eye is shown, how much of the face, a similar angle of the face, and placement of text questioning the existence of that light,
He stormed to kill Yoichi with Bruce, but couldn't, once he saw the state Yoichi was in. Even knowing he was the enemy, he still reached out his hand and never let go, even when they were running
When Yoichi died, even though they'd only been together for two months, Kudo still cried and froze up.
This is a reaction from a man who repeatedly used lives as a stepping stone for his own goal.
Kudo said himself, that victory was life, and defeat was death. He had killed and seen his friends killed over and over, but still cries when it happens again. And to someone he only knew for two months, at that.
Kudo gathered allies under his cause, and they were loyal enough to die for him. Bruce cries (still smiling tho) facing AFO, tried protecting Kudo when he froze up at Yoichi's death, and we see all Kudo's comrades dead in the end. Maybe Bruce was suicidal when he went to face AFO, knowing he'd die, but most of his comrades (and Kudo) were already gone. Their cause was snuffed out, but the will persisted.
Kudo is a bit like Aizawa.
A bit crass and blunt, doesn't like beating around the bush, but he can clearly see what kind of person you are. He's not openly kind, but you know he cares so much, but has also lost too much once. He's seen his friend(s) die, and shouldn't it have been him in that spot? Shouldn't he have died instead, but was forced to continue living for that dead person's sake?
His speech about why we call Abilities "Quirks", recognizing people's intent over raw power is the real power. (Ch 369)
He's blunt and goes straight to the results rather than beat around the bush, but it doesn't mean his heart is frozen and he doesn't care about you. (Ch 408)
He cares so much, and that's why he has to do so much. (His whole Resistance thing, figuring out how Yoichi's Factor works to make sure Yoichi and his will can live on in some way)
He recognizes that Midoriya isn't driven by duty, but that he genuinely adores Quirks too much. (Ch 414) He could look at Midoriya, read that immediately, and even though he looked through his memories, Midoriya's character was his takeaway. Not that Midoriya is an idiot for letting himself be stepped on, or that this kid was bullied, but that Midoriya could see the goodness in others.
Like how Aizawa saw that Midoriya was relying on the reason [It can't be helped] whenever OFA broke his bones and told him he can't always break himself just because he could be fixed (Midoriya's recklessness that showed itself on the first day of school). He called out something that was an underlying, innate belief to Midoriya, that was so normal to the teen, and no one else had brought up as wrong to him.
The first thing they perceive is a person's character.
When Aizawa tied up Midoriya on the first day of school, he wasn't telling him off over his Quirk destroying him being a PR thing or too gruesome for the public. It was out of the fact that his Quirk shouldn't destroy him, because it's dangerous for Midoriya.
Aizawa came off antagonistic, but he was looking out for Midoriya. He didn't want him to keep breaking his whole arm, he didn't want him to get stuck in the mindset that he had to get hurt to use his Quirk, he was looking out for his wellbeing from the start. A kid he didn't know personally until that day.
Kudo did a similar thing. He turned his back, and refused to help, because they were putting their hopes in a delusional boy who would go too far. When the vestiges realized their gathered Abilities and Quirks were letting Midoriya have the freedom to do as he wished, Kudo already knew, only saying "His path is the right one". He could relate to having to run full-sprint to see your goal realized, even if everything opposed him, but didn't want Midoriya to go through that same path alone.
If he were alone, he'd be like Nagant. He had to have comrades to be like Kudo, able to continue and stand for their beliefs, but having comrades to fall back on, or pull him back when it's too much. That's why he follows up in that moment with, "But, if there's something Midoriya does need..."
Kudo and Aizawa could see themselves or their comrades in others, and knew how to approach those character flaws that were normalized to others and said person.
Kudo could see others for who they were, and I think it's this, and his caring nature, that he gathered so many allies with him. He knew when to be blunt, when to show kindness, that the truth hurts but needs to be seen, was actually very logical and witty, and when to step aside and let people do their thing, even if it wasn't the best move (like saving All Might). Because that was what was best for that person.
It's not like people would join someone so wholeheartedly without conviction and being left unseen by that person. So many people were willing to die with and for Kudo, and Bruce believes in him so much.
When All Might's vestige was fading and becoming more solid, Kudo had to look away. They knew it meant All Might was dying in the real world.
Kudo was telling Midoriya not to intervene with Gearshift there. But once he saw All Might genuinely dying out, he couldn't look at him, and kept quiet. He stopped hanging onto battlefield logic of necessity, shut up, let Midoriya do his thing, and it saved All Might. It saved Midoriya from seeing his idol die in front of him, and Kudo didn't have to see another ally die beside him.
The chapter is literally called [We Love You All Might!!]. Even if it's just meant to focus in Bakugo and Midoriya, and only has 2 exclamation marks, it can't discount the world is watching. The vestiges care about All Might too.
When the vestiges come up with the plan to forcibly transfer themselves to deal damage, Kudo volunteers himself as the test dummy. Sure, he backs it with a lot of reason too, but he didn't want anyone else to go first as a test drive
He, with a Gearshift Ability that resembled a manual car, was the test drive. Ha ha pun- *gets shot*
En tried going first. Kudo rejected him, saying he would go first.
"Part ways with Gearshift [me], and you'll be free of the crippling recoil too."
Too. TOO.
KUDO JUST WANTED TO GO AND BE DESTROYED FIRST. HE PUT THE FREEDOM OF RECOIL DOWN AS AN EXTRA BONUS SO THEY'D AGREE WITH HIS CHOICE.
I'd cut the image so it looks better, and I can use Bruce's words elsewhere, but this is an image limit, so,
- Kudo refused to let anyone else go first. This was before giving reasons to convince them he should leave first
- En gives reason to why it can't be Kudo. Kudo just says, "Listen." and reminds them of now.
- Look at Kudo's face when he says that. The guy knows what he's doing when he cuts off En, and would probably be a horrible liar. He might as well be pulling this out of his ass.
He's said "The world will end" "You have to or else" "Five minutes" "You're going to die" a few times in this fight already. DUDE STOPPP
(Terrible liar and a guy who purposely eggs you to torment? What a great friend he would be [yknow, when u make ur friends freak out by being ominous or reminding them of stuff. Like Toast to Lilypichu in a game of Observation Duty])
- "Too."
- Bruce's trust in him, but knowing when to pull Kudo back from going too far
Also, when he's transferred, he smiles to Midoriya. He knows he's about to die again, but the last thing he does for Midoriya is
1) Take away the recoil of his existence as a Factor on the boy
2) Reassure him that it's okay, so it doesn't weigh on his conscience
Even if only in thought, STILL!
KUDO LOOKED SO PROUD OF MIDORIYA!
I bet Kudo is suuuch a sentimental fool
> [Be me and watch your new friend die]
> [I have Yoichi's Factor]
> [It's like I carry his will now]
> [Have a glint of opposition in my eye that drives the Demon Lord and my comrades (Bruce) crazy]
> [Hey Bruce, let's figure out how it transfers]
> [Bruce's common sense VS my rabid ideas]
> [I win]
> [Bruce was unwilling the whole time and still ends up with the Factor]
> [The Factor is named One For All, after something in Yoichi's favorite comic book series]
> [We pass it on to the future to carry forward]
> [Even as everyone else and me dies, I make sure Yoichi and his will are safe from his Demon Lord brother that locked him up]
> [Decades later, my sweet vaulted friend reminds me of when we met]
> [I turn around and give my whole-hearted support to believe in some 15-year old boy because Yoichi believes in him too]
SEN - TIM - ENT - AL!
When Shinomori was stolen by AFO, Shinomori pushed everyone away before they could really notice the invader. Kudo called out for him.
Everyone is in shock, but I don't think it's a mistake that the text bubble calling out for Shinomori is pointing from Kudo.
All For One made it through and is ready to steal them, but the first thing Kudo did was call out for the one at the very front.
[On the post I made that mentions Shinomori pushing everyone away] What if Kudo wasn't pushed away? What if this was him at the front, realizing the danger and turning around, but being unable to do anything for Shinomori when he saw?
Like Bruce, Kudo communicates. He doesn't expect you to just follow or understand him. He actually lays it out and makes sure you keep up.
He explains
- the transfer of vestiges, and why he should go first
- his Quirk
- why Quirks are Quirks
- reports to Midoriya what's happening and what's next
- to Yoichi why they couldn't trust in a delusional boy. In a way that wasn't Bruce's roundabout "we lived in a terrible era and a leader gathered us"
When En panics, he barks at En to keep up. By barking at him, rather than any other way he could've used his tone, it shuts up En in his frantic babbling. Kudo also lets Vestige Might put in his thoughts to understand better, and uses it.
Eye reflection. Kudo can really see people for who they are, and understands others, and himself.
I can't repeat the pics cuz image limit, but look at previous panels here. For example, Kudo saying Yoichi's will lives in him, and when AFO reflected in his eyes
It's something I learned from Re:Zero. When a person in reflected in one's eye, something something that person can see the true core of you, of what you really are underneath everything. The eyes are the window and mirror [glass] of the soul. I finally see the true you.
AFO never reflected anyone.
But Kudo reflected AFO when the man accidentally killed Yoichi. He saw that AFO wasn't seeing anything, so later, Kudo smiled and mocked AFO at his own death.
"Yoichi?"
"He's gone."
"You killed him, Demon Lord."
And AFO hated that reminder.
Kudo was reminding him of what the truth was. Kudo saw it himself, and AFO blocked it out from the get-go. Kudo already knew what AFO was, what he was seeing, what he was doing to himself by blaming Kudo instead of himself.
And then, Kudo's eyes reflected his own hand when he realized Yoichi's Factor was in him.
Kudo clearly saw himself, and in himself, Yoichi. Nothing distorted it. It really was a clear mirror.
He really perceived Yoichi's will was living on, and was right. Otherwise, his eyes wouldn't have shown it.
Kudo was right about AFO. It's even implied back when he and Bruce had their backs turned; Kudo knew what AFO's real goal was. That was back when AFO preached unity and division under him.
Kudo could always see right through AFO. He really understood people from the start. And he never tried making up truths to justify what he was seeing, facing it head-on.
Kudo's lying about the world being black and white.
Kudo and Bruce saw the world as black and white. This was mentioned in the void.
Kudo also says, "Victory meant life. Defeat meant death."
But it's the Resistance. It's when Japan and the world was at their lowest. The world wasn't black and white; there's lots of gray.
Kudo and Bruce would've seen this. Kudo even admits that there's gray, just not directly.
Kudo says Yoichi knows, how he killed and trampled so many lives, to get back at AFO. He knows it wasn't right, or an amazing choice. Later, he says that when your back is against the wall, you have to make callous judgements. These hint at gray moments.
Kudo and Bruce have faced and been in the gray. But it's too hard to make the right choices, and there are times there is no right answer.
Historically, soldiers would convince themselves the enemy were monsters. They wouldn't be able to fight and kill them otherwise. They wouldn't be able to live with themselves without believing in this so badly.
Kudo and Bruce had to have been the same way. They were Meta Humans [Monsters] in a time they were viewed as diseased humans. The monsters were real. And they had a Demon Lord. Kudo and Bruce literally dressed up as soldiers.
Even if they were monsters to society, being Meta, Kudo and Bruce were still human. They knew this. The ones who tried believing in only black and white were inhabitants of the gray itself.
But they have to protect themselves. Kudo is so adamant that the world is only black and white, because he can't stand the gray. What it makes him do, what it means, that he's too weak to do anything.
Yoichi is an example of that gray area. The mortal enemy's younger brother, was actually locked up and sickly. He's just a comic book nerd. And it humanized the other side Kudo opposed so vehemently.
Kudo says victory is life and defeat is death. And Yoichi asked why he reached out to him then. He reminded Kudo of that gray area, and Kudo opened up.
Kudo might avoid the gray area because it's a matter of the heart and a moral dilemma, but it's what makes him human. When there's no right answer in the battlefield, he decides on his feelings instead.
He wishes the world was black and white, because it'd be so easy. But it's not.
Yoichi reminded him of how entering that gray area led to OFA ("when you reached out your hand to me"), and it had been the best choice in the end. The gray area is real, and Kudo's left a bare man with only his emotions when he's there.
Kudo is actually really kind and understanding. He's too soft for his own good. Thanks if you made it this far, I hope it makes sense (tag and image limit)
#KUDO IS UNDERRATED NEEDS MORE CONTENT RECOGNITION HES THE KINDEST WITTLE BOY EVER#my thoughts#i think ppl who write resistance stuff should also consider that not everything was black and white#there will be moral arguments where you cant decide. and the resistance has faced those sorts of things where There Is No Right Answer.#kudo is really kind tho. exactly because he cares so much he does all these things and tries to harden himself#but like exoskeletons work - its only an armor to protect the soft squishy insides and keep them from drying out#i woke up and had to put this stuff down#me: *picks up a sentence note in my fic notes* *puts it down here and elaborates*#the line was in relation to putting down stuff about the vestiges to remember dynamics#[Kudo is the kindest despite appearances]#kudo seems like he would be fiercely protective over ppl he cares about. exactly because hes seen so many of his comrades die over and over#kudo#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#spoilers#ofa#one for all#bruce#bruce is the meme of “*chuckles* I'm in danger” and its just. Kudo w/ his new crazy idea chasing him down with Gearshift and Yoichis Factor#hikage shinomori#en tayutai#yoichi shigaraki#ive been thinking he was kind for a long time but never elaborated why. if u look at his actions words and thoughts it all makes sense#theres underlying kindness in there. he wants to be kind but the world would scorch him if he didnt have a stick up his ass#also adding on to the prev tag of kudo and fiercely protective- because in their times comrades were everything. otherwise you were alone#the world sucks resources are limited and youre a diseased human [Meta]. but you have someone willing to walk with you.#also about the [Kudo is the kindest] note among the vestiges- i dont think any of the other vestiges would do what kudo did#calmly volunteering himself rather than it being in panic. extending a hand and saving what shouldve been his mortal enemy. yknow
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The actor Junius Brutus Booth in costume as Edmund Mortimer in Shakespeare’s Henry IV, Part 1 (1823), painted by John B. Neagle
#shakespeare#the henriad#art#this was john wilkes booth's father.................. so for that reason i will not be tagging the actor by name lol#idk WHAT kind of weirdos i would invite to my blog by doing that but for historical transparency i did cite the actor#listen. i. he died in 1852 i bet he sucked as a person but he didn't assassinate anybody okay#the portrait is bitchin and i found it while looking up#henry iv part 1#i henry iv#william shakespeare#edmund mortimer#john b. neagle#i wish there were more resources to learn about the lady mortimer#i also wish she had more actual dialogue in the play i find her so interesting#i wonder what elizabethan performances were like of her!!! bc all of her dialogue is just [speaks in welsh] or [sings in welsh]#it makes it so hard to imagine her as a reader. normally i like the abstract exercise of envisioning plays in my head but#wo her own words it's so much less of an approachable challenge#i don't even speak welsh too#and i wonder what the history of her being represented on stage is like#did they normally have an actual welsh actor/actress play her? i sort of DOUBT it was originally like that in the 1590s#but im sure if it's a high-budget production done today it's only natural to seek out a welsh-speaking actress and have her collaborate#w her own dialogue? right?#it's so surreal too bc shakespeare's works almost never acknowledge differences in language#it rarely has much to do w the plot#the only other passing reference i can think of off the top of my head is 'twas greek to me' and that was offstage someone spoke greek#in julius caesar#idk!!!! man!!!!! i just find it interesting#most of shakespeare's characters wouldn't have even natively spoken english so it's just never mentioned#but in the history plays. well of course they spoke english they were englishmen! except those celtic ppls#who always come up as just. iconic charismatic bastards and rebels. it's a very prejudicial interpretation but i have fun w it
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i miss those heady days when i was writing the anglo-saxon au and looking shit up and then not using the information in the fic but hey look i'd Researched, and the thrill of having to explain to the imaginary reader that 'this thing is SCANDALOUS in the historical context that i haven't really provided for you', and all that sort of stuff, so i would quite like to write another Historical MCU AU but i don't know what it'd be and also i kind of fear people getting somehow annoyed by it.
#fic related#i can't do regency (not keen on the frocks) so even though it's a Popular Romance Genre that one's ruled out :(#i feel like i could manage things set between the anglo-saxon era (wimples!) and the french revolution (panniers!)#i own several books about tudor-era clothing so if you have any suggestions that'd utilise those resources let me know#(you may be picking up on a bit of a clothing focus here)#aside: if anyone thinks i just forgot to give AU!Sylvie knickers in the adultery AU - NO I DID NOT I WAS BEING ACCURATE!!!#(that's been nagging at me so i felt the need to capslock)#another thing putting me off is that i know i'm pretty hypocritical about AUs of this sort :S#but that's kind of the thing - if i'm losing the canon context that drew me in i'll need a new one that i already care about somehow#but (x2) i'm not stopping other people writing the oddly specific au scenarios they're into am i? so how's it bad if i do it myself?
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obsessed w gen alpha
#stream#literally the kill them w kindness philosophy 😭😭😭#gen z & millenial urge to respond w smthg like ‘unfortunately u too were brought into this world kill yourself’ AKSKAKKSLAKALAKLAKALA#this was on a. post of op asking ‘is there smthg wrong w my sea monkeys’#like how are u being snide in a reddit community that surrounds a ‘first pet’ for children aged like 8-13#literally all they had to do was top up their water like they’ve an amazing colony - it’s flourishing !! i’d be proud ??!??#like when i had my first sea monkeys as a child i had to aerate the tank so the said pour it into a cup back & forth so i put it in a#blender but the bottom didn’t have like the blender bit so it was. a straw#so i poured them into the floor & cried#i was DEVASTATED#but still ALSKALSKALSKLAKALS LIKE IDK I DEFEND SEAMONKEYS THEYRE SUCH A GOOD FIRST PET & THEYRE SO FASCINATING#like idk it’s just ???? w most hobbies u should just be nice bc it’s not like ur making fun of someone in a TOBACCO or LIQUOR subreddit#like even in the pigeon reddit u can get some cunts but like u can … tell when it’s a child asking a question or looking for advice ….#well child or ‘young person’ i don’t want to be like a 16 year old is a child but they certainly are constrained financially so they can’t#like ‘go out & but a dog crate’ to put it in but u can advise them on where they can take it for like vet help or resources on how to keep#an injured animal comfortable#like idk I JUST THINK it’s SO important to make these spaces comfortable & accessible for children bc sometimes their friends or family#won’t be interested in a hobby like BIRDWATCHING but if ur ONLY surrounded w other children misinformation will proliferate#i should just be a teacher or work in some sort of community outreach like idk i just like working w young people#& old people !!!! but i like young people like omg helping them find their passions & pushing them in that direction#ooohhhh how MOTHERLY
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Been reading a book about the development of the English language that includes chapters related to English languages/dialects and their impact with class. Thinking about how much people freaked out and made it a meme/joke that Prime Wars Overlord had a US Southern/"cowboy" accent. About 🤏 this close to deciding to write all of my stories going forward with all characters speaking Texas-accented English as the default instead of Standard English going forward bc I'm annoyed about my accent family being treated like a joke and/or used as a sign that horrible things deserve to happen to them
#squiggposting#discourse#i am a little bit salty. maybe more than a little bit#i'm also training in voiceover rn and the accent standardization there annoys the fuck out of me#gotta speak in Generic American Accent or Proper British English or else your accent is designated some sort of caricature or stereotype#also to be clear i don' mean writin' accents phonetically lahk this#just them using accented regionalisms and slang and ways of speaking and whatnot#i'm getting sick and tired of accent based classism honestly sjdklfsk#and also honestly as a hobbyist linguist of sorts i think doing a formal study into the different kinds of accents here#beyond just intrinsic knowledge as a native would be really cool#anyways every character in my stories from random hicks to optimus fucking prime himself is going to use y'all and other regionalisms#and it's not going to be a joke or to show lower class-ness or w/e#i might even throw in some texas german too if i can find substantial enough resources in it
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I genuinely was not expecting the “fake doubles get destroyed” thing to actually be a running joke like this. Yet here we are. Third time and counting.
First it was one fake spy getting hit on the head. Then it was two fake spies getting disintegrated by a mailbox. Now we have three fake spies and one fake car getting blown up by a robot cow! It’s just going to get more elaborate from here! How are they going to top three doubles plus a car? An entire duplicate building of P.O.P. headquarters?
Also I love the implication that C.R.U.S.H. has used other robot cows full of explosives in the past. Like this is one of their default plans.
#I really think it’s the kind of thing that only works once#like the first time a cow explodes you’re not expecting it at all#but from then on you’re going to be very cautious around cows because it’s not the sort of thing you forget easily#(hashtag nathan hale’s exploding cow)#and the way reggie says it it sounds like there’s been a LOT of these things#ho hum just another one of C.R.U.S.H.’s robot cows full of high explosives. bo-ring.#yeah yeah the exploding robot cow we’ve all seen it#archie comics#archie andrews#jughead jones#reggie mantle#the man from R.I.V.E.R.D.A.L.E.#I feel like this is a bit of a waste of resources#you don’t need to send out duplicates to set off the exploding cow for you#the exploding cow is very conspicuous#all you need to do is: when you see the cow. drive *around* the cow.#or stop and wait for the cow to finish crossing the road#it’s not difficult#frankly I’m concerned that they remote-controlled their surplus car straight into the thing
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when will genshin give us any sort of information on the underground intelligence network? we don't even have a name for it... GIVE US A CRUMB. A SINGLE ONE, I BEG.
#like. okay they just dropped that an underground mysterious group was watching diluc go rampant around teyvat against the fatui and were#like omg slayyy and he got into the organisation and reached the upper ranks and then they dipped#who are these people?? what's their goal?? how come there's members willing to sacrifice their identity and previous lives to be a part#of it?? i am on my knees begging for something more about them 😩#if we don't find out who the msyerious man that saved diluc and introduced him to the organisation is what even is the point#seriously though how come this organisation is so vast and up to all the nation's business but so far we have NOTHING on it besides what#we know from diluc's lore??#it's kind of bonkers if you think about it actually#being anti-fatui and being so incredibly resourceful and seemingly powerful since they saved diluc's life and diluc himself is quite the#unusual person strength wise#obviously we don't know what happened but it's just so intriguing#i wonder if other characters could work for the organisation too?!#i want to know how this organisation was formed so bad#i think the motive for their existence intrigues me so much because i'm so sure the fatui and the tsaritsa aren't the bad guys#obviously they do a lot of questionable things and it's fair that people like diluc and others that have been hurt by them want to#bring justice into the world but i doubt the tsaritsa has bad intentions#i think that's also why i like the theory of crepus being the missing harbinger só much#i would pay so much for diluc to have a realisation moment in regards to his father and the fatui#i just think that sort of character exploration would be so much fun#but regardless of that i am gnawing at hoyoverse front door pleading for more on the underground organisation#truly one of the things i'm most curious about in genshin
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Random Au idea I had while watching JoJo P5.... you know how the Boss of the mafia is called Diavolo?
Basically Ik is just a normal schoolkid who helps an injured man on her way home. Little does she know the man happens to be Lucifer, one of the leaders who runs the gang controlling the local area, who now owes her his life and will repay his debt as such
In the process he accidentally gets attached and so does the rest of his brothers, oops. Now the gang's all trying to make sure she doesn't get got by their enemies while also trying their best to keep the whole mafia thing a secret (also she's lowkey reforming them without even trying)
oooo this is a cool idea!! (also when i first started playing obey me i spent the first two months thinking of the jojo character EVERY time i saw diavolo, so this au definitely hits home for me)
so i guess diavolo is the... well, diavolo of this situation, the Big Boss of the whole operation, and lucifer is bucciarati, leader of a secondary team within the organisation... maybe the angels could be a rival gang, and the brothers got ousted (and defected to diavolo's side as a result)
it'd be funny if relations are SUPER tense between them on any given day, like one-misstep-from-getting-stabbed levels of bad blood, but as soon as ik shows up there's just a mutual "everyone shut the fuck up and act natural" moment
she shows up while the lucifer's gang is having a stand-off with simeon's and the brothers are all immediately like "SHSHHHSHHHHH. DON'T TELL HER" and simeon just nods and immediately is like "oh what a completely innocent gathering of friends this is! lucifer my friend how nice it is to see you again! i love being normal and hanging out with my friends!!!!"
#answering asks#anon asks#the newspaper club would also be a secondary team under diavolo#oh as for luke... i imagine he's already been inducted into the angels' side#similar to how the celestial realm instigates lucifer's rebellion - the angels' gang here is all kinds of Shady#(so he was like 'hey wtf' and got him and his brothers booted for his troubles)#in this case the angels' gang is like Super Immoral (even by mafia standards) about recruiting members#basically if you're in your entire family is in and luke's parents were in so now he is too#this is all probably part of the reason simeon plays along with the brothers while they're trying to hide things from ik#solomon and thirteen i imagine are sort of a wild card?#they've both got info and access to certain resources and so they just barter with whoever's offering the most money#jtta aus
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i think the solution to seeing more of the content about your specific kind of trans existence to follow blogs that actually post about it instead of expecting different trans ppl to cater to you. tumblr is not activism and ppl are allowed to do whatever they want on their personal tumblrs, so like??? i am not expecting a trans girl to blog about transmasc experiences and vice versa. it is not a "denial of resources" and it is not oppression to not be blogged about on Tumblr Dot Com. this is literally just a little journal. we're not changing the world, we're venting or posting about things we like. allow others their space. "waaah there's too much x on my dash, why aren't they posting about y" why do you follow people who only post about x then, why aren't you following the million blogs that post about y? it's tumblr. we're not running out of space. there is room for all of us, so curate your dash and stop whining.
#trans#basically my personal philosophy#i will not end anti-transmasculinity by posting shit on a blog about taking demon boy cock#it's all venting#it's not activism in the slightest#demanding that someone post more about a certain issue#is pretty much asking for virtue signaling.#using a platform is for people with more than 14 followers#using a platform is for ppl like celebrities#big youtubers#that sort of thing#most tumblr users do not have that kind of reach#so if a trans girl on here doesn't talk about transmasc issues ever?#why do i fucking care#it's her blog#it's not some vital queer resource#i'm not entitled to her silly little journal#where all she does is post things she feels#we need to stop acting like it's bad praxis to just have our own spaces for our own experiences#not everything is about everyone#sometimes it is just about you#sometimes it is just about me#and that is FINE#because tumblr posts are not a limited resource
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i have had TWO successful interactions with my father today. this is unprecedented
#nightmare.personal#i like my dad but he's either never here or the most logistically complicated person to talk to#the fact that i was able to text him enter his room and grab (1) object without some colossal problem ensuing is nothing short of miraculous#usually my interactions with him are (1) me needing something from him which usually is problematic in some degree#(2) him giving me random useful objects which is kind of tedious but appreciated#or (3) him talking to me about my future or some kind of intellectually stimulating topic#sometimes he talks too much and dominates the conversation leaving it unsatisfying#but more and more he has shown a willingness to give me the reigns which helps affirm to him my worth as a human being#which i think is necessary to do every so often but not really anything i concern myself with doing regularly#i haven't fucked up around him very much recently i would say which has done wonders for our dynamic too#because now i'm like his highly valued daughter and he's someone who gives me useful information/resources#this is all to say trying to explain my relationship with my dad is complicated but it ultimately boils down to#extremely good for my intellectual and moral development. significantly lacking in the emotional department#ultimately though i'm old enough now that i don't really need to seek out paternal affection or mourn the lack of it#he's never committed any kind of egregious transgression against me and most of his love is shown practically#like when he defended me against my mom for being gay and radicalized her in one fell swoop. that was rather wonderful of him#i do think he loves me more than i love him but i don't think he needs love as a mediator for communication so ultimately we're fine#like i do love the guy but sort of as an afterthought and more so as a human being rather than a father or a good human being#you know? admiration of his existence and general uniqueness but not necessarily agreement with his beliefs or#a claim that he's a good father. that being said i do think he is a good father#does any of this make sense? i don't know i was trying to explain this to an IRL before#but it gets messy because my IRLs are concerned enough about me + this particular one has a far worse dynamic with her father#so it's not exactly easy for me to explain emotional absence to someone struggling from general absence#whatever. i got the thing from him now maybe i will consider doing my homework
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((ffxv and ffvii are like polar opposites when you think about it
i put noct in ffvii and hes like ‘wtf w all this capitalism’
but cloud in ffxv like ‘omg yall just... live off hunting and vibes thats lit’ lol))
#ooc#not to say that capitalism isnt a problem in ffxv...#but theres definitely more a sense of community and sort of a trade economy rather than like#gil plz now lol#noct comes from privledge but more or less loses everything but the car and a tent#so the fact that he can get on just fine and people arent fight eachother over resources its just man v nature#kind of nice...
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False, from personal experience, ages 20-23 has mainly been characterized by repeated chantings of “I just have to make it through my 20s. Everything sucks in your 20s. I just have to make it through my 20s.”
getting older as a kid is like yippee!! wahoo yay!! but then immediately as u enter ur early twenties ur like whoa lol hold on wait wait hold upa minute stop
#i once heard a youtuber say ‘the second i turned 30 my life got way easier’#‘I didn’t stop having problems but they did stop feeling like the end of the world’#there’s so much glorification of your 20s when in reality#everyone i’ve ever talked to about it is like ‘yeah being in your 20s fucking sucks’#cuz like all of the sudden you’re expected to bear all the responsibilities of a full grown adult with absolutely no resources or help#no experience to lean on no financial resources probably never having learned a lot of stuff#and at the same time you’re out here trying to do the grueling work of figuring out who you are and what you want#faced for the first time with the infinite amount of choices life provides#having up to this point probably never having had the opportunity to make ANY meaningful choices for yourself#so you’re out here trying to simultaneously piece together an identity out of scraps and scrapes and bruises#AND figure out how to survive in a world where you’re expected to be able to fully support yourself with no means to do so#turning 30 doesn’t magically solve any of that#but it does add an additional ten years of having figured out who the hell you are#and making it this far probably implies you’ve found some sort of way to make ends meet#and probably some kind of community that can help to support you#i’m 23#and i may dread being 24#but i dread it a little less than i dreaded being 22
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@xinxiins asked :
"Actually all of my systems are nervous."
[ from yán tuò, for whoever wants one ( 1 ) unnecessarily-stressed manager who's just trying his best sdfsdfk ]
"WHAT are you even nervous about?" The tone of EXASPERATION is evident in her voice - she barely pulls down expensive sunglasses to peer over toward where the scene is progressing - QUITE WELL, in fact. An Jinyue seems even better by comparison next to the female lead, whose delivery of her lines are a recitation AT BEST. Yan Tuo has a talent for making it sound like the director's going to fire his actor THE NEXT SECOND - disinterestedly, Zanying pushes her sunglasses back in place. She crosses her legs as she leans back in her chair, going back to her script - "You know he nails it every time anyway. I'd be more worried about what you're going to do when her fans accuse you of buying searches about how wooden her acting is when this thing airs."
#xinxiins#[w]ei[z]anying#((the bio is nOT UP she's also a modern verse but long story very short))#((she's an actress who broke w/ her agency shortly after she shot to fame and now she's an independent contractor and it's kind of Rough))#((her reputation isn't the best bc there's all sorts of rumors that she's using unsavory methods to get her resources))#((buT REALLY SHE'S JUST WORKING SUPER FUCKIN HARD))#((anyway girlie plays a lot of evil 2fls i think in my brain bc she has the Look (tm) for it))
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ive read a lot of anti-transition arguments towards people unsure about their gender that basically pose any sort of internal exploration as inherently solipsistic and narcissistic, with the mantra being that to think about your relationship to your assigned sex is already thinking too much; you should be thinking less! go get a job! work with your hands! volunteer for the needy! get involved in your local church! pray! marry! start a family! keep yourself busy, so you can never think about yourself again. maybe if you fill your mind with enough noise, you can drown your own conscience out.
im 100% not exaggerating btw, it's actually kind of madness inducing w how many times ive seen people use this mode of argument, it's extremely common. i think ive seen conversion therapy resources use a similar line of reasoning too. and like, if you are a cis person just trying to keep a closeted tranny in the closet, it works like a charm. you can, in fact, drown a person with enough noise and garbage until they stop thinking about their gender dysphoria or, well, anything. all the better that "i saw the tv glow" addresses it head on in relation to the closeted subject in question; yeah, go ahead, do it. you might be trans, you might actually be in serious danger, but it won't hurt if you don't think. and it will work for you, for years and years, and you'll always find more responsibilities and more opportunities to muffle your thoughts. but, maybe 5, 10, 20 years from now, none of the noise will be enough and it will dawn on you, how seriously in danger you actually are - but by that point you've drowned out your own inner conscience so aggressively that there's nothing there, just more of the static and noise of others and no interiority left to seek refuge in. you've got a job, you've buried yourself in work, you've married and have a family; you've given every part of yourself to others just to preclude the possibility of thinking about yourself, for yourself, and now there's no you.
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was looking into biking in the city i live in and jesus christ is the subreddit for this place full of some of the most pessimistic assholes alive lmfao
#i mean to be fair it IS reddit but also. my god.#would read posts like “hi guys i was wondering if anyone here has advice on commuting to work with a bike :)”#and half the comments would be about how they're idiots for even thinking of that and how miserable and crime ridden this place is#and also about how drivers suck but also they hate all cyclists?? like jeeeeesus christ guys. maybe take a deep breath or something#and then there'd be like one or two people like “i don't know about commutes but i cycle recreationally and it's so much fun! good luck!”#and then drop a bunch of really great helpful resources about biking here and various routes. love those people let's make it only them pls#the crime rate here Is high but that does not make the whole city a miserable unlivable shithole lol#maddie meows#idk just. was not fun. made me kind of anxious about an idea i was sort of excited about.#i've looked there a few times before and it ALWAYS just leaves me feeling incredibly shitty and nervous abt leaving the house which sucks#(in case it wasn't obvious i only moved here recently.)#and then time passes and i feel good again and i forget how awful that god damn subreddit is... fool that i am#i must not add “reddit” to the end of my internet searches abt this place. reddit is the mind killer. etc etc
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Perisex allies: stop this shit
CW: intersexism
Came across this infographic during some google image searching and I'm still kind of a state of despair about it because it's not just offensively wrong about what intersex is, it was used to teach university students about queer issues:
Alt text: LGBTQIA+ are defined one by one. Intersex is defined erroneously as "These are people who were born with genital organs of both sexes (male and female). It is a genetic condition."
It's one thing for your rando perisex person to be getting this wrong on social media. It's another thing entirely when it's professionals getting this wrong in an educational setting. 😩 And that this infographic appears in a peer-reviewed publication. 😩
It's even worse to know the students that were taught with this infographic were medical students, who will be the ones traumatizing intersex people for decades to come 😩
It's so wrong in so many different ways:
Intersex is not limited to people with genital differences. Most intersex people have intersex variations that are not apparent at birth, with puberty being the most common time of life for variations to present. Many people find out in adulthood having no outward physical differences.
Of the intersex people with genital differences, they do not have two sets of genitals. Most genital differences are still recognizably female or male (e.g. spadias), and those who have ambiguous genitals have one set.
Intersex is not "male parts + female parts" or even "intermediate male/female parts", it is an umbrella term for anybody whose primary/secondary sex characteristics don't line up with what is expected for male and female bodies. Some intersex variations make women look more feminine, or make men look more masculine.
Defining intersex by genital differences doesn't just exclude most intersex people, it also sets the tone that we are defined by our genitals. To be publicly intersex is to have non-stop DMs about your genitals. This sort of framing sets up openly intersex people for invasive questions and harassment, and it keeps large numbers of intersex people from coming out.
Many intersex variations do not have a known genetic basis. Many intersex variations are caused by exposure to certain hormonal levels in the womb. Certain medications when taken during pregnancy can trigger intersex variations.
While bodily variation is necessary for being intersex, the social experience of stigma, discrimination, isolation, hyper-medicalization, and hyper-sexualization are all just as much a part of being intersex.
📣 Perisex allies: this is shit you can stop. When you see other perisex people parrot this sort of misinformation, correct them. Direct them to look up resources written by actually intersex people.
Here are some starter resources to give:
Intersex explained by Hans Lindahl
Media and style guide by IHRA
FAQ by intersex-support
A recent post I did compiling information for trans people who want to be better intersex allies
#intersex#text#intersexism#queer#lgbt#lgbtia#lgbt education#perisex allies#psa#actuallyintersex#actually intersex
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