#Kim Yugyeom x Reader | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

agustdef · 1 year ago

Text

Right Now

Pairing: Kim Yugyeom x Black!Reader

Genre: Angst, Light Fluff, Idol AU/Idolverse

Word Count: 1.4k

Warning: One cuss word; Language; Mentions of lack of eating, but due to workaholic behavior.

Rating: PG-13

Author's Note: I wrote this forever ago and never posted it, which makes no sense.

One thing that fans and choreographers had in common was that tour season was a whirlwind experience that came at you fast and had you begging it to slow down. Though to be honest Hana didn’t really beg for it to slow down, she went wherever it took her and that meant more work than all of the “off season” combined. Something she didn’t mind and to a degree could admit to loving.

And that is where the problem arose.

Yugyeom had his own tour dates to prepare for. Events that were some of his first since GOT7 left JYPE. They made him more anxious than when he had his members to rely on, so he put in more work than usual. But none of it was overworking himself or not taking the time to breathe.

With his new career within the R&B world he’d promised himself he’d take a little more control and do what worked best for him and the life he wanted to lead, even outside of music. It was a must, and it was hard because he was used to the go, go, go lifestyle of idol life, but he wanted to take his time. He had all the time in the world for the fast paced, always moving shit when GOT7 got deep into preparations for their July comeback - something he looked forward to.

But while he waited and geared up for his solo activities, he tried to impart some of that wisdom onto Hana. That meant talking to her about it and getting her to take breaks no matter how small and no matter what hops he had to jump through to get her to give in.

Of course, she had obligations so she couldn’t just ditch jobs. It would make people second guess hiring her or get her blacklisted from working with companies if she changed up on them at the last minute. But the problem wasn’t how many choreographing and teaching roles she took on, or at least not the one Yugyeom felt he could validly argue against. No, the issue was that she was also helping out other friends. She would workshop choreo, act as a member for demos, help them get into different companies to showcase they were the right fit for their artists, and even teaching classes with them when they asked at the last minute.

It left her with so little time to do anything else. Yugyeom feared if she was eating like she should have or getting enough rest in her own bed, because she hadn’t entered his in weeks.

The worry he felt was low at the start of the season, but peaked once some artists began to make their way out a bit earlier than the rest. There were so many last-minute details and intensive work to put in. He barely got a text out of her or anyone he could usually reach out to get ahold of her.

Even popping up wherever she told him yielded low results with him hoping the intimidating nature of being some of her clients' elder age and industry time wise would be enough to ensure they got her to eat or drink something when he dropped it off.

After a while it went from pure worry to agitation. Something that made him lie in bed at night staring at the ceiling as he thought about it until he picked up his phone.

Yugyeom: You at home?

Minutes ticked by with him staring at the screen awaiting an answer, to the point that he found himself a little pissed off and ready to call her, but before he could his phone buzzed a few times.

Hana: No, in the studio

Hana: I had to finalize that killing part for P1Harmony’s new comeback

Hana: I thought I told you???

Yugyeom’s anger didn’t subside despite her answering him, in fact her words seemed to just maintain how upset he was.

Yugyeom: You said it didn’t need to be done for two weeks. Did they push it up?

Hana: No

Yugyeom: So, you’re finishing it at 2AM 2 weeks early because….?

Hana: Because I want it done

Hana: Not rocket science. I got the time so might as well

There were many times in life that Yugyeom wanted to cuss someone out or simply scream and that was indeed one of them. It was like she didn’t know how she sounded, but he knew better than that. Hana knew exactly what she was doing and what he was calling her out on, but she wouldn’t cop to it. No, she preferred to do the thing where she played dumb until he said it outright and even then, she would deny, deny, deny.

It took several deep breaths to get him to calm down and respond to her.

Yugyeom: Come here and I’ll help you

Hana: I’m not falling for your tricks to see me. I’ll see you in a few days

Yugyeom: For work

Hana: And dinner after

He was going to push the issue, but just as began to type another message came through.

Hana: Gotta go. Ireh is back and we’re starting up. Go to sleep. Love you!

Naturally, he knew that she wouldn’t respond to him after that, so Yugyeom threw his phone across the bed. Or he tried to, but the slight force behind it made it bounce and hit the floor instead. He winced hearing it but made zero move to pick it up. All his focus was on Hana. The woman who drove him up the wall but who he loved endlessly.

The thing was he got it. There was no one more understanding than Yugyeom because he lived the life of someone whose work needed a lot of his energy and time spent with people like Monster Woo and other dancers showed him how much went into what they did. How much it could strain things. But all he saw was Hana running herself into the ground for no reason.

Of course, he had to admit part of it was for selfish reasons on his part. He wanted more time with her, even if it was a quick meal and falling asleep together. Spending quality time is something he loved to do with her, and he’d missed out on for months. However, the much larger reason was because he knew her and knew she was in her own head. Knew that a lot of the pressure to work, work, work stemmed from her need to keep herself relevant and employed in an industry that could truly break a foreigner, especially a Black one. She’d made a name for herself long ago and had the backing in the US, but working mostly in K-Pop was something new and she hated to fail at such a challenge.

That was the thing that kept him from losing his shit with her, but it was also the straw to break the camel's back. There was nothing left in him that said he should continue to let it slide, to not push harder for her to take a step or two back. Lines like telling her friends and colleagues to not reach out were ones he wouldn’t cross, but as he drifted off that night, he’d decided that he would put his foot down.

###

Days went by with Yugyeom not reaching out to Hana after their last text conversation. She wasn’t surprised that he’d stopped talking; he had two comebacks and tour dates to prepare for. Not that that was the reason he’d cut off communication attempts. Hana was smart enough to know he was worried and probably pissed with her. Something she hated but knew she couldn’t control since she had things to get done and not a lot of time to do them.

Tour season meant a lot of work and she was no stranger to pouring a lot of herself into it, so she rolled with the punches without much complaint. Which didn’t make him happy with her, but she knew it was something she could manage. Something she could explain to him to get him to understand.

Talking to him was in that plan once she arrived at the dance studio that he was preparing for his tour in. She was a choreographer for some songs and might go with him. Though with all the opportunities that rolled her way it looked unlikely that she would.

Another thing he would be upset with her about.

Upon her arrival she assaulted with the smell of food. As she walked further into the building those smells intensified and she basically drowned in them as she entered the break room area that the studio housed.

Everyone sat or leaned against something eating and paying her no mind. It was confusing because she thought they’d agreed to have lunch before coming in, but things had seemingly changed. All without her being in the know, something that she could have brushed off as an over thought if not for the momentary eye contact, she made with Yugyeom as he got up to grab a drink. His expression was blank as he looked at her and before she could blink, he turned around and went back to his seat without a word.

It was clear he was icing her out, which made her upset and a little angry. Not that she had time to process or call him on it, because the moment he sat down people noticed her presence and Ireh popped up and ushered her to the table she was sat at.

“We’re going to start a little later, so get comfortable. I’ll grab you something,” Ireh said.

Hana opened her mouth to tell her she was fine, but then her stomach growled, and she became all too aware of her hunger. She’d had a late night and got to sleep even later. So, in order to get the bare minimum of enough rest she’d slept in longer than she would have preferred and grabbed a pastry from the convenience store on the way. She’d planned to eat another snack before they started because she needed to and because eating a lot before dancing wasn’t something that she loved. But if she was hungry enough for her stomach to make sounds, she knew that she needed to eat something more. Plus, she had more time than she thought.

Another thing that wasn’t shared with her.

That made her irritation spike, so as she shrugged off her hoodie and dropped her bag Hana found her gaze drifting to Yugyeom. He was carefully spooning rice into his mouth as he messed around on his phone, only looking up when someone spoke to him and making sure to never even turn his head in her direction.

His behavior wasn’t something Hana never experienced before, she’d endured the silent treatment a few times before and it sucked every time. However, when it was about something that was work related and part of her livelihood it pissed her off. Even if there was a whisper in her head voicing the reminder that she could slow down some and not push herself so hard. That she had enough jobs for the season and could chill the hell out. The voice was right, but she wasn’t one to acknowledge that when she knew she could keep pushing and be fine.

So, being upset with him would withstand. At least that was what she tried to convey by glaring at a man who refused to give her the time of day.

Before she could do anything drastic, like walk over to his table, Ireh returned with two containers and a bottle of water. Hana took them carefully and was surprised to find kimchi-jjigae inside one. It was the typical food delivered for a work lunch, but it was a favorite of hers and something she craved whenever she worked a lot.

Something Ireh knew.

Once Ireh took a seat and began eating again Hana opened her mouth to thank her, but the woman shook her head.

“I barely even knew we were getting lunch today. You know who picked it out.”

“But he…”

“Hana, you know better,” Ireh said, but in Korean that time.

Though she often spoke both when talking to Hana there was something about the way she switched to it in order to scold that made Hana shrink into herself a little. It wasn’t that her feelings were hurt, but she did know better. Plus, Ireh was the oldest of four children, so she had the older sister act down pact, even if she only had less than a year over Hana in age.

Hana sighed. “I know.”

“If you know, then act like it.”

From there they ate in silence. The food was delicious, so Hana had zero problem finishing it and even after she was done the usual fullness never came. Which made her curse herself for clearly not eating enough especially because it wasn’t her intention, she just got easily wrapped up in things and forgot.

Once everyone finished, they cleaned up, and there were several minutes of sitting before everyone moved into the practice room. Hana brought up the rear and went to close the door behind them but was cut off by Yugyeom slipping into the room. He handed her a sports drink and continued to walk past her.

Or tried to but was stopped when Hana grabbed hold of his wrist.

“Yugyeom,” she whispered.

At first, she thought he would pull away, but after a few seconds he turned to her with an expression much gentler than the one he’d greeted her with.

“Yeah?”

“You don’t have to…”

“I don’t have to do a lot of things, baby. But I do them because I want to and because sometimes people neglect to get them done.”

Not another word was said as he walked away, mostly because Hana couldn’t find any to say. There was the care behind his actions in those words, but she couldn’t miss the dig at the end. She knew it wasn’t meant to be all that hurtful, but she also knew he was being a little mean on purpose. Something that he wasn’t often, and she was unsure if she was angry, hurt, or simply upset that they’d reached that point.

In order to not have to figure that out she took a breath and stood off to the side while the head choreographer and tour manager spoke to them. When all information was disseminated they got to work going over the choreo with those who’d created it. Though the songs she’d worked on were early in the set list she went last and the entire time she refused to meet Yugyeom’s eyes.

Despite the tension they worked through the moves easily and corrected anything that seemed off. It was hyper professional between them and to a degree that made her feel worse, but the alternative of letting feelings leak through wasn’t any better.

After an hour and a half of going through everything they took a small break and Yugyeom tossed her a protein bar before taking a seat on the floor to catch his breath. The urge to say something flared, but Hana just took a seat and ate the bar without question.

Twenty minutes later they were back into the groove of things, but instead of checking for issues they decided to tackle the set list as it was. Most of the people he’d worked with weren’t coming with him, so it was the dancers with him while everyone else watched carefully.

Part of Hana wanted to sit it out because she may not have been going, but also because she was in a petty mood. The more time she and Yugyeom spent with negative emotions looming over them the more annoyed she got, and it was hard to push it down or reason with herself. But instead of taking that step back she got into position.

Keeping her mind from wandering wasn’t hard when she was dancing. It was her passion, so Hana always found joy in doing it. Especially because she’d been so happy when Yugyeom asked her to work on some of the choreo for him. She’d done so on some of GOT7’s music but working closely with the man she loved when he held the same passion as her put her over the moon. A feeling that found its way into her as she danced alongside him.

Their run through went off without a hitch and they were able to do it with very few breaks. Once it was finished, they all took a moment to catch their breath and then any issues were pointed out before they did it again. The second time around included moments where he would stop to talk or to head backstage for a bit, so it was less taxing and also showed there was a better flow of things.

Usually that would have been the end of it, but it was decided on one more run through. Yugyeom had been singing the other two times so to preserve his voice they just let the track play and he lip synced the lyrics. During that practice he found his flow in a way that wasn’t present before and interacted with the dancers more. Hana effortlessly played off that and more often than before they ended up close together dancing in a way that wasn’t so scandalous that they looked like they were five seconds from fucking, but enough to fit the vibe and the sexiness of some of the songs.

With the last song, Hana found they stared into each other’s eyes more than they had most of the day and so it took a moment to snap out of it and walk away once the music stopped. They managed to do so and keep to themselves as they listened to the tour manager again. Everyone was happy with the practice so it ended and though Hana knew most of them liked to leave quickly the speed in which everyone got out of there was next level.

In about two minutes only she and Yugyeom were left, and he was at the door with his hand held out to her. Again, the urge to be petty arose in her, but she’d gone a long time without any physical touch from him that wasn’t dance related and she craved it. So, after she grabbed her bag, she walked forward and laced her fingers in his.

Neither spoke as he led them out of the studio and to the car that he’d hired to drive them around. As they sat in silence, they continued to hold hands and didn’t stop until Yugyeom motioned her into the restaurant they’d planned to go to for dinner. The host led them to a private room and to Hana’s surprise JayB and Youngjae were already there. Both men were often late to dinners.

“Did you even shower?” Youngjae asked as he got up to hug them.

Hana rolled her eyes. “No time.”

“At least she’s not as stinky as him,” Jaebeom said as they switched, and he hugged her.

“Hyung,” Yugyeom whined.

That got a laugh out of everyone and that meant a pouting Yugyeom as they took their seats. A server appeared the moment their butts touched down and they ordered and awaited the drinks.

“So how did it go?” Jaebeom asked.

“It went well. Most of it was already ready, so from here on out it’s just correcting any problems and making sure that we’re one hundred percent happy with how the set list flows,” Yugyeom said.

“That’s good. I know it can be nerve wrecking to do the first solo show, plus it’s in person. Making sure it’s just right means you’ll do great,” Jaebeom said.

“I hope so.”

“Ah, our baby is nervous,” Youngjae teased.

More pouting ensued as they all laughed and Jaebeom reached over to pinch his cheek, earning a light slap to the hand which only made them laugh harder.

It took a few minutes before they settled and their drinks arrived in that time. In the restaurant they went to drinks were fast, but food was slow because they prided themselves in being made to order so most of the food was unprepped.

“Speaking of preparing, how is all the tour stuff going with the different artists, Hana?” Youngjae asked.

Something about the question excited her, but also felt heavy. As if she was beyond tired.

“Good. I thank the heavens that most have been doing online concerts and don’t have a lot of new music coming before tour. It makes it so that we’re mostly just going over things and learning a handful of new choreo. Most pick it up fast, but some of the rookies are so new to it that their nerves are making it harder for them to keep up. But I enjoy being able to help them through it.”

Jaebeom nodded. “I don’t know how you do it. Dance has been in my life a long time and b-boying could take a lot out of you, so I can’t imagine doing it as much as you do. Hell, as much as either of you do. And Gyeomie finds time to do it for fun.”

Hana glanced at Yugyeom, who’d gotten quiet, before saying anything.

“Yeah, it can be a lot, but you get used to it.”

“I just hope you’re taking care of yourself.”

Before Jaebeom finished his sentence Yugyeom scoffed, but Hana ignored it.

“I’m doing my best,” she said.

Another noise was heard but it was softer than the last in a way that Hana almost missed it. What she didn’t miss was the way that Yugyeom rolled his eyes.

If it was anyone else besides his members in that room she would have been embarrassed, but they knew how he could get and saw both of them at their worst. There was nothing they would judge them for or at least all judgment would come from a place of friendship and not rudeness.

Regardless of that it annoyed her, and she wanted to ask him about it, but instead took a deep breath and a sip of her drink.

Seconds ticked by in silence before Youngjae broke the tension or tried to break it, because it didn’t let up even a little.

“So, you ready to go on tour with him? I know you haven’t done one in a few years, and you said you miss it.”

Anger gave way to discomfort then, and Hana paused for way too long.

“Uh… yeah. Some things have come up and so I might not get the chance to do it. But I am looking forward to it.”

“You might not go?” Yugyeom asked, shock and anger coloring his words.

“Yeah, I was going to tell you…”

“When?”

“After dinner. I thought we could talk then.”

Yugyeom’s face was stoic, and it was clear he fought to keep it and not allow anything else to color his expression as he looked at her. For several seconds all he did was stare, before he turned his head to look across the table.

“Hyungs,” he said, voice shaky.

Neither of them said anything, just nodded and got up. As they exited Hana heard Jaebeom mention sitting at the bar to give them a moment to themselves, but she was more focused on Yugyeom who’d risen from his seat and began to pace the room.

“Yugyeom,” she said softly.

Hearing his name didn’t stop his pacing or even get him to look in her direction.

“Yugyeom.”

Again nothing.

“Kim Yugyeom.”

That time there was a bit of anger in her voice, and she didn’t know if that did the trick or the use of his full name, but he finally stopped pacing and turned to her. She watched as he visibly took a deep breath and then leaned against the wall behind him.

“Do you know how worried I’ve been?” he asked.

Hana sighed. “I kn…”

“That was rhetorical. You know how worried I’ve been. You’ve had me checking in on you over the phone. Bringing you food and getting you to take moments to rest. You’ve seen my hold back because I know how you work, and I know it can be intense. I know that you do things a certain way and while it may seem like too much to be doing to me that you view it a different way. I know this industry is iffy and you committing to working mostly for this country’s industry is a lot because of the extra bs that comes with you not being Korean. I let shit slide because of those things. I put aside my worries because of those things, because I’m trying to be understanding. But there are limits.

“You push and push until you push me away. You’ve barely spoken to me for more than an hour in total over the last month. I have to work harder than one should to get proof you’re okay. To make sure that you’re eating and drinking. To ensure that you’re getting the rest that you need. And you don’t give a fuck.”

Throughout his speech Hana felt guilt creep in, but something about that last sentence shoved it down.

“I don’t care? How are you going to sit here and tell me that I don’t care? As if I haven’t been doing my best to keep in contact and as if I don’t always thank you for the things you do to take care of me. I’ve been busy, Yugyeom. You know how much comes up during these months and how much busier I get as tour dates get closer.”

“Fuck that busy shit!” he shouted.

That brought them to a standstill. Not because Hana felt threatened or anything, they cussed all the time so it slipping into an angry conversation didn’t faze her. But the way he raised his voice surprised her a little. It wasn’t scary, but it wasn’t like him to yell even though it had been softer than most people’s.

“Baby…” she trailed off.

Yugyeom’s face shifted from anger to a deep set frown and gentle eyes that told her he was tired and worried. Much more than he was letting on.

“I just… I want to take care of you, and I want you to take care of yourself. I get that you work hard, but you can work hard and also relax. Take moments to breathe. Have some sort of fun. You get into this work mode where it’s like you can’t seem to do anything else, even when there isn’t much else to do. And I get it, baby I do, but there has to be a line.

“And I’m selfish. Outside of you being healthy I miss you. I’ve barely seen you for a month and it’s not like we haven’t crossed paths. I miss being able to spend time with you. Making up dances in the studio just because it’s fun, taking small trips for a day or two, you yelling at me because you hate the way that I cook, and just falling asleep by your side. I haven’t held you in forever.”

As he spoke Hana rose from her seat and moved over to Yugyeom, wrapping her arms around his waist before she pulled him close. She knew she’d not been thinking about herself much and just going with the fact that she felt fine as an indicator on if she needed a break. It worked for her, but it was a dangerous way to live and despite how much she hated to realize it, lack of eating alone was enough for her to know she wasn’t as well as she thought.

That coupled with the neglect of her relationship was a reality check of epic proportions. She’d expected Yugyeom to just go with her schedule without throwing him a bone in terms of even a little affection. Plus, there was the depriving of her own touch and time needs. All of it showed her that she’d been a mess masquerading as someone with their shit together for weeks.

“I know and I’m sorry. I got wrapped up in it all and forgot myself. But even so, I shouldn’t have forgotten your needs. Forgotten that I would have to put in the effort to fix things when I finally came down to reality and not just expected you to be understanding or that I could explain it away. You deserve better than that and I’m sorry I was giving you less than.”

Yugyeom wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tight against him. His body relaxed and so did hers. Not everything was solved, and it was something they would need time to get over, but Hana knew it was the start of a good thing and that she would do better.

After a few moments Yugyeom moved away a bit and leaned down to press a kiss to her lips. It was gentle and came with a spark that made it feel like the first time. A testament to how long she’d been in self-imposed exile of his touch.

As he pulled away from her, she made the mental note to overhaul her planner to work better for herself and her relationship.

“I love you,” he said.

“I love you more.”

Yet another pout took form and as his lips parted to argue the boys reentered the room with the server right behind them.

“Sorry,” Youngjae said.

Hana waved them off. “You’re fine. We’re good.”

“Really?” Jaebeom asked.

“Yes.”

A squeeze of the hand was all she needed to be sure of it.

They enjoyed the meal without the heavy weight of tension in the room and despite how she needed to get across town the next morning Hana went with Yugyeom to his apartment without argument. She said she would do better and that needed to be immediate.

Plus, when she woke up a little later than she’d planned she couldn’t be mad, because being wrapped in his arms was the best night sleep she’d gotten in a while. She planned for it to be a repeat performance for at least a week straight.

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winter-dayz · 1 year ago

Text

Guardian

Pairing: Kim Yugyeom x Reader Demon AU Genre: Fluff Words: 2641 Warnings: strong language

Masterlist | Fictober Masterpost

Taglist: @soobin-chois

“You called?” He smirked and entered your room, plopping himself down right in the middle of your neatly made bed.

“For God, not Satan’s reincarnate.” You huffed, glaring at him before turning back to your laptop in frustration and annoyance. His face twisted into amusement at the irony of truth behind your words without you even knowing it.

Kim Yugyeom had been looking after you for four years and had wiggled his way into your life three years ago after perfecting his human form. Guardian angels were the standard, the praised, and the dreamt of. Guardian demons? Not so much. Yet, here he was still looking after his precious human under the guise of her best friend. This was not at all standard—incredibly frowned upon actually—and Yugyeom was sure any normal human would consider a guardian demon to be a nightmare. But he couldn’t help himself.

🎃

The angels considered getting to be a guardian an honor that was sacred, but demons, however, found it to be a boring punishment. To be a guardian meant that the higher beings had found the angel or demon responsible enough to look after human life. This meant that any demon chosen wouldn’t get to foresee any tormenting or torturing to the damned souls. Hence, why many of them dreaded and hated to receive guardian duty.

In the beginning, Yugyeom felt the same way. He detested that he, of all demons, had to look after a mortal being. No more troublemaking, torturing, or even living life as he pleased. Or so he thought.

Two months into his guardianship, he realized what a fascinating human you actually were. Sure, you did all the boring, mundane human tasks and things. But you also appeared more complicated than the average human, and you were definitely vastly more interesting than the souls he encountered in hell.

You were kind and selfless but did not allow others to take advantage of you and were not afraid to stand up for yourself. You were passionate in what you believed in but also were very open-minded to other possibilities. You were confident in your skin and walked through life not taking anyone’s bullshit, but you were also vulnerable and insecure in your own ways.

A year into his guardianship and he couldn’t stand watching from the side-lines anymore. You hardly needed help handling matters, but you were often alone. Kept to yourself at the end of the day. As kind as you were and with as many friendly faces as you knew, no one had taken the time to dig under the surface and really know you.

And for some reason that pissed Yugyeom off.

Because he could see it; he could see your longing for companionship. He could see how hard you would try. He could see how desperately you wished to be close to your friends.

So, being the troublemaker he is, he snuck to the portal room one night and shifted into a human-form in hopes of being able to fulfill your desires. He had even chosen a form that he assumed you would find appealing after observing the type of men you usually pined for.

Shape-shifting to appear human in order to face your ward was not totally forbidden, however, it was only granted to those with explicit permission. Which of course Yugyeom did not have the patience to get, nor did he think he’d even be given. But he thought this was important, and technically he was just doing his job as a guardian-demon trying to take care of his human as best as he can. Even if that meant breaking several rules and putting himself at risk of banishment.

That never did make sense to him though. As a demon, isn’t it his duty to be on his worst behavior all the time anyway? Regardless, up to this point he never had the urge to break his extremely loose rules.

🎃

“What are you working on anyway? I can smell your frustration from over here.” Yugyeom finally sat up on your bed, bored of pretending to scroll through his phone as he watched you.

“Stop being so dramatic. It’s just this idea I’m working on and no matter what I do I just can’t seem to get it to match what’s going on in my brain.” You sighed as your head flopped down to meet your arms. Except, you really did smell quite frustrated to Yugyeom, and it reeked. Normally you smelled like fresh flowers and clean linen, but ever since he walked into your bedroom all he could smell was mildew and burnt grass.

At your admission, he perked up, “Any way I can help?” Of course he was only asking because he had to, not because he wanted to. Although, technically, he really only had to step in as a guardian if you were in “life-threatening danger.” But also technically, his nose was currently in life-threatening danger—and he’s basically immortal.

“No… I think I need to step away from it for a bit. But that stresses me out ‘cause I’m on a deadline so…”

Yugyeom opens his arms wide, and after a minute of you both staring at one another, you slowly drag yourself over to plop into his grasp. He wraps his arms around you, softly rubbing his palm up and down your back. You can feel your entire body relax into his form, and it’s like everything eases out of your body. The speed at which your scent changes almost gives him whiplash, but he can’t help the smile that slips onto his face as he closes his eyes and falls back onto your bed still holding you.

“How are you so comfortable? You’re built like a string bean and yet I feel like I’m dissolving into a cloud right now.”

“That’s what best friends are for. I’m an anti-stress cloud made just for you of course.” You moved your head and blinked at him before your mouth curled up in judgment.

“That was so cheesy and cringey.” You continued to side eye him for a minute until he smirked. “Were you making fun of me for comparing you to a cloud?” He shrugged before pushing your head back to lay against his chest. You mumbled something into his shirt, but neither of you were really sure what you said, not that it mattered anyway. All that mattered to you now was soaking up time with your cloud of a best friend, and all that mattered to him was that he managed to help alleviate your problems.

So maybe he did offer just because he wanted to. Sue him.

🎃

Something was wrong. He could feel it. It had to be something to do with you because nothing around him had changed, no obvious danger in sight. No, this definitely had to be something connected to you, and once Yugyeom was sure of it, he panicked.

Not once during his time guarding you had he ever felt this connected to your emotions, and despite his confusion, that was not the main focus of his distress. Instead, he was panicking over what exactly could have aroused such a strong and depressing emotion from you.

He rushed to conjure his illusory human-form and bound through the portal. The closer he got, the more intensely he could feel your emotions. By the time he was outside your apartment, he was able to identify the feeling as rejection and insecurity. His chest tightened, and he imagined that this was what humans felt when their hearts “broke.”

He let himself into your apartment quickly—the details on how didn’t matter; you never asked him about it anyway. His eyes flew around the kitchenette and living area but flew to your room when he didn’t spot a sign of you. He ripped the door open and sighed in relief as he noticed a singular, still-breathing, lump hidden beneath the comforter. He took three big strides to stand beside you at your bed and paused when he noticed your puffy red eyes staring straight back up at him.

In that moment it was like he knew everything. He could feel the betrayal you felt, and it was like an image manifested before him: you sat at your desk, laptop open to a video call and on the other end sat an older couple. They looked distinctly similar to you, except their faces were shrouded with anger, disappointment, and disapproval.

“What are you doing here?” You whispered out, but the sound was ruined with croaks and cracks from obviously overused vocal cords. Yugyeom found himself easily sitting down and taking your face between his hands, wiping at the already dried tear tracks.

“I’m so sorry. I couldn’t protect you from them.” His face scrunched in anguish, and his own feeling of failure rose above the leftovers of yours.

“How did you know?” You looked confused, moving to sit up in your bed. The call had only finished minutes ago, and you had no time to text or tell anyone else about the matter in the time that it took you to end the call before you threw yourself under the covers with a sob. It was only several minutes later that Yugyeom had shown up looking utterly distressed.

“I could feel everything. I’ve never felt such a thing from you, but you felt so distressed and– and broken. I panicked, so I got here as fast as I could, but there’s nothing I would have been able to do to stop them. I can’t control anyone… But you still didn’t deserve what ever happened, and I’m supposed to protect you from things like this. I failed…” He rambled on, definitely saying more than he’s allowed but unable to stop himself. He didn’t know what else to do. He just wanted to do whatever he could to get you to stop feeling that way.

Your mouth agape, eyes wide, and figure stiff as you stared at Yugyeom in confusion and shock. There was no way possible that he could have known what happened, and yet he spoke as though he’d sat right next to you through the entire thing. And then he had spouted on about protecting you, and failing, and you had no idea what any of it meant. Of course it made sense to you that your best friend would want to ensure your happiness at all times, but the conviction he spoke with told you that it meant volumes more than any normal friendship. He said it as though it was his job, or his life depended on keeping you safe.

“I know you don’t fully understand what I’m saying, but I promise I’ll explain everything in time. I just need you to know that I’m here for you now, and I want to always be here for you. I don’t know what they did or said to you, but it isn’t true. You’re literally the closest thing to perfect I’ve seen in my lifetime, and I’m actually really thankful that I was assigned the privilege of meeting and guarding you… Again, I promise I will explain later.”

All you could do was nod, searching his face for anything to be wary of, but all you saw was your handsome best friend. You believed his words despite how disorienting it all felt. As your eyes continued to rake across his face, you noticed something odd and gingerly touched his cheek, letting the tip of your finger ghost over the dot under his right eye.

“This wasn’t here before…” You breathed out, and Yugyeom stiffened. The skin under your touch felt as though it’d been lit with a fire comparable to the flames of hell. He’d never felt such a physical reaction to your touch before, and he felt something stir in his stomach. His eyes slid to a mirror that resided on a wall near your bed, and sure enough, there sat a small mole on his usually smooth skin. It must have manifested when he rushed through the illusion process.

“Looks like a mole… Probably insignificant. They show up all the time.” He tried to brush it off, but he knew his time to explain was counting down. Yugyeom knew the repercussions of this could be detrimental, but he couldn’t lie to you anymore without hurting you.

Meanwhile, the longer you studied his face, the more you could see that he almost appeared otherworldly. Sure, you’d always thought him to be immaculately handsome, but this felt different. Almost ethereal. And, you were certain that this mole had basically manifested overnight.

The longer you stared, the more Yugyeom could feel nerves and anticipation bubble within him until it finally rushed out like a volcano erupting after lying dormant for decades. He stumbled over his explanation several times, and his eyes seemed to be eternally locked on a picture frame that held your favorite picture of the two of you. But, he told you the truth…

The room fell into a thick, heavy silence as he finished his word vomit. The news that your human best friend was actually a guardian demon sat rather comfortably in your mind. The revelation somehow made a lot of sense now that you thought about it, but you were lost on how to respond. Yugyeom fidgeted, feeling rather nervous for a demon who usually didn’t feel all that much at all.

Finally, you reached over and took his hand into your own, and when he looked into your eyes, he saw nothing but trust and love sparkled within.

🎃

The next time that Yugyeom was able to come see you, the mole was still a charming addition to his face.

He hadn’t been able to visit for quite awhile since the higher beings had been aware of Yugyeom spilling the truth. They had already known, since the beginning, of Yugyeom’s worldly appearances but did not interfere since it seemed as though, despite his disobedience, he was not posing as a threat to the natural order of things.

But apparently, revealing the entirety of his existence, job, and even the ability to travel between worlds was not part of the natural order. So he had to face the music and explain his motivations and reasons behind breaking his unspoken oath to secrecy.

When the council found no ill-intent, and rather suspected that there were likely actually romantic feelings behind his exposure, they let him off with a warning that relationships between supernatural beings and humans were often doomed.

Yugyeom wasn’t exactly sure why they were warning him of such a thing. His relationship with you had always been purely based on his curiosity and responsibility.

But when he faced you again, and you smiled up at him, bringing him in for a hug and then brushing a finger over the new mole again, he understood what they meant.

For a moment, he worried about the mortality rates of humans compared to the eternity he would continue existing. But then you were pulling him into your room and snuggling up to him on your bed, surrounding him in your scent, and he didn’t care anymore. Even if your lifetime only felt like a second compared to his, he would bask in that second forever.

“I missed you, string bean.”

“I missed you too.” He breathed out, and for the first time, he actually noticed his heartbeat. “I hope you know, I plan to be by your side forever.”

“You’re being cheesy again. But… the sentiment is shared I guess.” Your head lifted slightly to press a light kiss to the underside of his chin before nestling back into his chest.

Yugyeom blinked at the action before he wrapped his arms tighter around your body, a smile overtaking his face.

“Well now you’re definitely stuck with me.”

#got7 #kim yugyeom #reader #kim yugyeom x reader #got7 x reader #fluff #demon au #oneshot #fictober

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vex91 · 9 months ago

Text

GOT7 Masterlist

(f) - fluff, (a) - angst, (af) - angst + fluff, (s) - smut

Mark Tuan:

Nothing yet...

Lim Jaebeom:

Nothing yet...

Wang Jiaer:

Nothing yet...

Park Jinyoung:

Nothing yet...

Choi Youngjae:

Nothing yet...

Kunpimook Bhuwakul Bambam:

Nothing yet...

Kim Yugyeom:

Nothing yet...

OT7:

Nothing yet...

#got7 x reader #mark tuan x reader #lim jaebeom x reader #wang jiaer x reader #park jinyoung x reader #choi youngjae x reader #kunpimook bhuwakul bambam x reader #kim yugyeom x reader

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onewmin · 2 years ago

Text

the perfume on the shelf. pt. 8 | bangchan

Pairings: Bang Chan x Fem!reader, Kim Yugyeom x Fem!reader

Summary: Falling in love with your best friend was never a part of the plan. So you end it up. But does he want to put a stop to it, too?

Warnings: AU, 3 time jumps (not big ones), mentions of parental abuse, mentions of the eating disorder, mentions of shooting (at a shooting range in the park), mentions of mental illness, mentions of depression, profanity, a lot of awkwardness, typos, the reader’s and Chan’s povs, a bit of Minho x oc (not the reader lmao)

Author’s note: so… If some of the actions seem rushed/too awkward, don’t worry — it’s intended this way lol

I originally planned like 10 parts… yikes. It’s going to be more, I guess. Anyways, hope you enjoy!! Tell me what you think!!

Disclaimer: the names and appearances of real people are used for inspiration and writing purposes only. I do not claim anything, everything belongs to its owners.

Part 7 | Part 9

A week had passed since then.

Chan hadn’t called or texted. You hadn’t either. You left home to go to work and get some food if you felt like eating. To be honest, you wanted to eat every food item possible.

That was your compulsive eating speaking for you: ever since you were a little girl, you found comfort in food. When your parents were fighting, screaming in their bedroom early in the morning, you’d sneak into the kitchen to get anything to fill your anxious stomach with. When you were hurt, another breakup hitting you, you’d find yourself in a bar, drinking and overeating. Your first big weight gain was when you turned nineteen: you had yet another heated argument with your parents, resulting in you crying on the street, while excessively smoking. You had saved some money to get your first tattoo done; however, your parents — the conservative people they are — only tended to scold you for that.

“No one’s gonna marry you now!” Your mother screamed over the phone. “How could you do that! You’re a Christian girl, that’s a sin!” You didn’t quite remember when the God said tattoos were a sin, but oka, whatever. Your mom would tell that your father said it was a stupid decision, but did she really think you cared about his piece of mind in this conversation? He was barely present in your life, and when he was, he would only criticize you for every thing you did. And your mother thought you’d care about his opinion? As if.

Nevertheless, your parents’ reaction hurt you. You’d always wanted to have an open, honest relationship with your mother, but it was not possible — it was always one step forward, ten steps back. You’d cherish the moments when the two of you bonded, laughing at something together, gossiping about some family members. And in those moments you desperately believed that it could always be like this. But whenever you let your guard down, you’d get stabbed in the already bleeding wound. Your mother would never change. And you would never share the sweet moments with her.

Your mother also blamed you for the weight gain. She constantly stated you shouldn’t be eating so much food, because, “No one would want to marry a fat girl”. Even though she’d totally support your desire to fulfill the career goals, she was still focused on the possibility of prosperous marriage for you. Yeah, your mother wasn’t exactly a mentally stable person herself.

And now you were eating as well. All of the hard work you’d put into working out to get back into the desirable shape of yours would be washed down the drain now. As you were sitting on the floor next to the TV, a third bag of chips out of the ten you’d bought being shoved down your throat. And the cherry on top? There were actually multiple ones, like two huge bottles of coke and a cake in your fridge. Your rice and the fried chicken you’d cooked a week ago rotting in the refrigerator as you spent half of your savings on junk food.

‘Cause it was comfortable. It was your solace. Alongside with occasional drinking when you were sad, overeating was the comfort zone. Like you gained weight after that huge conflict with your parents (which led you to carry that massive guilt on your shoulders and your mother wasn’t speaking to you for weeks), like you gained more after the breakup with Yugyeom (and kept gaining, ‘cause every time you talked to him or saw him, you’d end up eating half the menu in the bar) or like when you were rejected by a publishing agency. The latter got you to actually go and work within your major, leaving your dreams behind. Now you were in the same pit of shit.

The mere thought of your hard work in the gym was overshadowed by the image of Chan, helping you around, guiding you through the training. It seemed as if any gym experience had been forbidden, ‘cause the memory of Chan being your personal trainer was engraved in your memory forever.

“Ugh, you’ve got to be kidding me”, you turned around to see Eunjoo, Minho behind her locking the door. You were so engrossed in that TV reality and your thoughts that you didn’t hear them coming in.

“Hey”, you said in a flat tone, facing the TV again.

The two of them would come and see you almost every day: Eunjoo was your work wife basically, but she still made sure to check up on you outside the office as well. After you wept in her arms that day a week ago, fell asleep on her lap and woke up to cry more, she just couldn’t leave you all alone. Eunjoo was the greatest friend out there and you definitely owed her a lot — you weren’t sure if you were able to repay her for all the kind things she did.

Minho, on the other hand… If Eunjoo was this sweet and comforting friend, who was there to help you cope with the emotions and be your crying buddy through all of that, this ass was quite the opposite. Eunjoo didn’t bring the topic up, letting you forget it, dissolve the memory of him forever; Minho would be running around your apartment, screaming curse words, shouting,

“What an asshole! What a complete piece of shit! My mother told me not to trust him!”

That’s his best friend, mind you. Their energy in this question didn’t really match much, obviously; so Eunjoo had to physically drag him out of the apartment and locking the door on her way back in order to get rid of his annoying anger splashes. But Minho would bang on the door, turning the handle violently, and it would result in the two of them bickering while Minho was still outside your flat. That was probably the only thing that made you laugh. And as they noticed that, they went on doing it more often just to put the smile back on your face.

“You’re eating chips again?”, Eunjoo sighed, turning to Minho in a helpless attempt to get some support from him. He shrugged his shoulders and plopped on the floor next to you, snatching the bag of chips from your hands.

“Oh, cheese flavored? Thanks”, he started chomping loudly, not letting you get another chip from the bag. “They’re mine now”.

“Did you tell your therapist about it?” Eunjoo sat down on the other side; now you were between your friends, being unable to escape.

“I cancelled our session this week”, you mumbled, pretending to carefully observe the palms of your hands. Eunjoo let out a sigh and took your hands in hers.

“It won’t help you”, she replied, “you’re only making it worse by shielding yourself from the world”. You nodded, still unable to look back at her. “Your therapist is the only person who can actually do something”.

You listened to Eunjoo silently, gaze fixated on the TV. You missed every thing said on the reality show you’d been watching, thoughts long gone from your head. You were so tired of this, extremely exhausted from all this talking. You knew you had to go through it with your therapist, but you just didn’t want to be analyzed for now. Not by your therapist, not by your friends.

“Can’t you just leave me alone?” You stood up and marched to your bedroom, slamming the door when you got inside. It felt like fighting with your parents when you were a teenager; only if you dared to slam the door this way, your mom’d have slapped you.

You sat on the bed, back leaning on the headboard. Only, what, a couple of months ago, were you crying after Chan left and came to the decision to break up with him? Could you have ever imagined it all would go south?

You took the phone in your hands, the screen almost blinding you in the dark of the room. Scrolling down the gallery, you looked at the pictures you took of Chan, the ones he took of you, and the photos you’ve made together. Gosh, whenever you saw him standing close to you in any picture, you wish you could go back in time and punch him in the face. His stupid handsome face.

“Come here!” Chan’s voice rang out in your ears, looking at the particular photograph that was taken in the amusement park.

He looked so delighted to share that day with you — it was his debut anniversary, his first year as an idol had just passed. He had just gotten back from his tour around the country, and the first thing he did after stepping a foot in Seoul? Arranging a day out with you. “Tomorrow at 12. I’ll pick you up”.

And as you’d spent almost seven hours, running from attractions to food trucks to attractions again, your legs started getting wobbly with every step you were taking. Chan, on the other hand, with his body being physically stronger than yours, didn’t seem to be exhausted at all. So when he turned around to see you standing way behind him,

“Are you tired?”

“It’s a rhetorical question, right?” He chuckled at your sarcasm.

“Yeah, guess it is”. Your gaze fell behind Chan’s back, and he turned to follow it — only to see you staring at the shooting range. Before he could even utter a word, you already sprinted (wasn’t she tired a minute ago?) there.

After three unsuccessful attempts, you, for some reason, started bickering with the owner of the range, as he was making a lot of comments about you not winning. As amused by that as Chan was — seeing you bicker with strangers was a rarity — he took the matter in his own hands.

“Which one d’you want?”

You pointed at the plushy wolf. “That one”.

“Consider you have it”.

One. Chan wasn’t satisfied his first attempt was a failure, so he got his wallet out to pay for the next three rounds. Two. Three. Four. The smiley grey wolf in a sweater was still untouchable. “One more time”, Chan said to you confidently, “trust me, I’ll get him for you”.

Well, he didn’t. He was sulking, glaring at the owner from afar, when both of you had spent all of your cash on that stupid range.

“Sorry I didn’t get that wolf for you”.

You smiled, hand tapping his shoulder. “Don’t worry, Chan. You did your best”. He smiled back at you. “At least, it was fun”.

In the end, the two of you decided to take a selfie there, to capture the moment of your double failure. Now you noticed how closely to one another you were standing, as if your friendship was doomed to turn into something else from the beginning. Well, and Chris did admit he had always been in love with you, so it felt like truth.

“Do you want me to talk shit about him?” Eunjoo was sitting on the bed next to you. “You will show me the photos, and I will say everything that comes to mind”.

“I can do it without pictures, just so y’know”. Minho was leaning on the doorframe, your cat being scratched in his arms.

“I don’t think it’s gonna help”, you muttered. Having put the phone on the bedside table, you rubbed your face ferociously. “Wish I could… Just erase him from my memory”.

“Then lookin’ at his face won’t help”.

“Minho, shut up”.

“No, Eunjoo, he’s right”, your eyes welled up for some reason. Well, technically, there was some particular reason. That elephant in the room. “I’m, uh… Being too delusional, I guess. I think looking at him and knowing what he said to me will… Will make me hate him”. You draw a breath. “But it makes me hate myself more”.

Eunjoo took your hands in hers; that was a habit of hers whenever she needed to comfort somebody. “You know what I did when Jeong broke up with me?” You started nodding frantically. “No, I’m not talking about that”. The shadow of a chuckle in her voice made the corners of your mouth quirk up.

“When we broke up, the first thing I did was deleting our photos. Threw them away if they were polaroids. Put all the gifts he gave me in a box and then put it on the farthest shelf of my closet. That’s how you forget. Or, at least”, she added, “that’s how you start to forget”.

You didn’t need to think twice — because if you did, you wouldn’t be able to get rid of the memories. “I’ll start with the photos”.

Eunjoo smiled at you. “Good choice”.

Five hundred selfies. You and Chan had taken five hundred selfies, the majority of them during your situationship era. There was the two of you in his car, his mouth covered with your smudged lipstick; ten selfies taken on ‘a date’ Chris organized, and countless pictures of you two holding hands in various places. Looking through them, you couldn’t but wonder: how him and you weren’t a couple? Even your selfies, especially your selfies, were saturated with adoring glances and stolen kisses, many of the latter caught on camera. And he had the audacity to say that you weren’t his girlfriend? After basically admitting the fact that the two of you did, in fact, everything ordinary couples do?

Was Chris that stupid? Or was he just so bad at gaslighting that it didn’t take much to catch him do so?

Your blood wasn’t boiling, but you were not melancholically miserable anymore. Seeing his happy face in the now deleted from your memory photos made you just… Spiteful. Sick. You fell for his silky lies — the ones he himself believed too; and you were not going to grieve the relationship, the love that was actually never there anymore.

Your cat meowed loudly as she jumped from the bed, Eunjoo following her shortly. Minho went through your gallery after you handed him the phone, and hummed in approval.

“Does it feel better?”

“A bit, but… That’s enough for now”.

He nodded, standing up and slightly stretching his arms. “Good. I’ll tell him you did that when I’ll be in the studio”.

“Minho-“

“I’m kidding”, he huffed. “Dunno if we ever gonna talk again, like, as friends”. He sighed and shook his head; you couldn’t convince Lee Know to talk it out as well, ‘cause he just didn’t want to speak about Chris. “Anyways, who’s Jeong?”

You were dumbfounded for a moment. “What?”

“Well, y’know”, he scratched the back of his neck, “the guy Eunjoo was talking about”.

“Why are you asking about her ex?”

Minho shrugged his shoulders. “No reason. I’m just”, he cleared his throat, “I’m just curious, uh, who would date such a smartass”.

You let out a groan. “What grade are you in? Fifth?”. Having stood up next to him, you smacked his shoulder. “Ask her out, for god’s sake”.

You turned away to leave your bedroom, but you knew that Minho had this perplexed expression on his face. Yeah, you wished your best friend wouldn’t go out with Minho, knowing his dating history, but… There was just something about the two of them together, something that seemed right. And maybe in the endless circle of heartbreaks and hurt, at least Minho and Eunjoo would find happiness.

Although, you wish you and Chan would find your personal solace in each other as well.

Chan sat down at the studio, music blasting in his headphones. However, he didn’t hear anything but his thoughts, which were relentlessly torturing him for the past month.

The pain eased off a little bit, but… But Chris wasn’t numb to all of it yet. He was still clinging onto the memory of you, you, that were one call, one car ride away, but yet too far from his reach. And he was the problem. He was the epicenter of the explosion.

The moment you left, the moment the taxi drew away Chan knew it was over. Chan knew he screwed up so terribly that there was no cure, no mending to the damage he had done. Leaning back on his chair, he closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh. To this day, thirty-three days later, Chris couldn’t understand what possessed him to say all of that. Maybe…. Her words, anger, her lack of desire to forgive him then and there — he was embittered. He was willing to change, and she was leaving!

“What a pretentious asshole you are”, Jisung told him that morning, when he showed up at his place again. “How you manage to get girlfriends in the first place is a mystery to me”.

Chris knew what Han was implying. The thoughts that were lingering inside his head like unobtrusive memories — something that he remembered but wished to forget the moment he reminisced on it. His inability to maintain relationships because he chose to run away from every possible love expressed at him wasn’t the only problem present. He couldn’t admit a defeat; and he couldn’t admit he was wrong. Alright, the latter could happen, as he was willing to admit to his faults to some extent; however, if the other party pointed out other the things which he fucked up? A fatal mistake for them, a vicious victory for Chan. To throw more hurtful words, to cause more pain, reminding where they messed up instead of simply apologizing was the only possible outcome. The same thing happened with you. Instead of trying to fix it, he blurted out the stupidest shit, knowing that he, indeed, took it too far and, again, indeed, broke your heart by choosing to stay in a blissful oblivion.

Only now, a month later, Chan started to realize what he had done. It’s not like the both of you fucked up, no, for god’s sake, none of you would admit that; but, nevertheless, Chan got to the point when he knew, knew that it was him who spilled the darkest shade of paint onto the portrait of your love. Now he was starting at what used to be rosy background and had no idea how to scrub the black color off. Everything was in black. Because you weren’t there; and Chris could feel it in his chest, he knew it would take ages for your love to bloom like the first flower in spring again.

Having taken off the headphones, Chan stood up and rubbed his eyes. The action left wet traces on his face and fingers, and he tried to even his breath to avoid crying.

The door behind him creaked a little, and he turned around, swiftly thinking it was you.

“Hey”, Minho shortly nodded. Chan’s eyes widened as Lee Know was the last person he expected to see.

A glint of hope sprinted through his entire body, as he watched his best friend stand there, awkwardly twisting the ring on his finger. Maybe, just maybe, Chris would be able to save their friendship with Lee Know.

“So, uh…” Chan mumbled.

“Got a minute?” Minho’s voice was a little louder than usual. “Think we need to talk”.

A long drive in your car never seemed so nice like it did at the moment.

Summer was still present, the unbearable heat during the day changed into warm nights, and you enjoyed those. Windows open, the evening breeze gently touching your hair. Even though you cut it a couple of days ago, it was still long enough to get a bit tangled after the encounters with the wind. But you didn’t really care about that at the moment.

The traffic was slowly cooling off, which made your way to the destination shorter in time. There were still plenty of cars, but they were mostly going in the direction of residential areas, as everyone was headed home, even though it was Friday evening.

A week ago Youngjae invited you to his birthday party. You didn’t use to be very close before, he was just a pleasant acquaintance, your best friend’s cousin. However, in the past couple of months you found peace listening to his midnight radio program, Youngjae’s voice being the perfect lullaby to your unsettling mind. And since you texted him, praising his program, you’d become good friends. So him inviting you alongside Eunjoo didn’t come out as a surprise; besides, he really wanted to know who was that mysterious guy Eunjoo had been cryptically mentioning. Oh boy, you were willing to tell him.

Having left the car at the parking lot near the restaurant, you made the way inside, noticing how non-super-fancy the place was. Youngjae asked for no dress code and no gifts, but you did bring him a small one as a sign of your gratitude. If it weren’t for him and his midnight talks, you wouldn’t have fallen asleep at all.

“And as we finish today’s program, I wish we all could come to the road of finding peace and comfort within ourselves”. The tone of his voice slowly drifted you into sleep. “No matter how hard it is, it all gets better in the end. The hot line for the free mental help is…”.

His programs tended to have this unserious tone usually; however, quite regularly, he’d touch upon serious topics — mental health, depression, eating disorders — inviting specialists to discuss questions the audience would ask. As Youngjae put it himself, “I used to be heavily depressed when I was younger. And as I had no one to talk to, I listened to the midnight radio program. The host and their voice were my solace. I hope that I can be a help to someone who’s listening to my program now”. And he was. At least, to one person.

Youngjae pulled you into a warm hug upon your arrival. His shiny smile was impossible to resist; so after giving him the present, the two of sat down next to each other, some of his other friends greeting you simultaneously.

“Where’s Eunjoo?” You asked, having looked at your watch.

Youngjae rolled his eyes. “Running late”. You chuckled. “Tell me about the guy”.

“Oh boy”, you sighed, “but promise you won’t tell her that I told you”. Youngjae nodded. “It’s nothing serious for now”, you started, “they’re just… friends. But, from what I can see, they both really like each other”.

“Where does he work? How old is he? Who are his parents? How did they meet?”

The endless number of questions from Youngjae made you laugh. Him and Eunjoo were cousins, but they treated each other as siblings. Youngjae called Eunjoo his ‘little sister’ and you could understand why he was so interested and worried at the same time. You’d lie if you said you weren’t worried for Eunjoo as well.

“His name is Lee Minho, he’s 28, and he’s a choreographer”. Youngjae lifted an eyebrow.

“Minho? How does she know Minho?”

“How do you know Minho?”

Youngjae sighed. “Uh, well”, he ran his hands through his hair, “he was a guest on my program around a year ago. A really sweet guy”.

“Well”, Youngjae slapped his things and got up, “we’ll see. I want Eunjoo to tell me about him herself”, he giggled and you laughed back at him. You didn’t have any siblings, but if you had, you wished they were like Eunjoo or Youngjae.

Sipping a drink in the corner of the room, you saw Eunjoo walking in the hall, talking to somebody. Somebody tall, somebody dark-haired, somebody with a contagious laugh. “What the hell is Yugyeom doing here?”

You looked down, bringing the half-full drink to your face in a tremendously unsuccessful attempt to hide yourself. A desire to run away and hide came upon you immediately; it wasn’t the fact that you didn’t want to see Yugyeom, it was the fact that you unintentionally hurt him, choosing Chan when you shouldn’t have. And that made you really uncomfortable; he didn’t need your explanations or apologies, you knew that too well. But it felt like you needed to apologize to shrug this enormous weight of guilt off your shoulders. However, no matter how much you thought of him, you didn’t rush to get in contact. ‘Cause it was scary, and you almost never chose the unknown and terrifying path.

Fuck it. How long would you run? How long would you avoid uncomfortable situations just to stay in your imaginary tranquil world? How long would you escape the encounters with your fears? So fuck it.

You slowly raised your head to glance at Eunjoo, who was looking directly at you. Ignoring the tingling in the stomach, you waved at her, and she, having said something to Yugyeom, of course, made her way to you with him. Ugh. Eunjoo, why?

“Hey!” She almost sang, hugging you. “Remember that friend Youngjae told us about?” She immediately ranted. “This is Yugyeom”, she introduced him to you, “they met at Columbia University several years ago. Youngjae told us so much about you, it’s just…”

You didn’t hear the rest of her rather awkward speech as you looked at him for the first time after noticing him. The glimpse of smile on his lips, a white shirt covered by a black jacket and tucked into same-colored pants. His eyes didn’t hesitate to look at you, piercing through your appearance, landing somewhere deeper, somewhere around your heart.

You and him bowed to each other, and Eunjoo suddenly disappeared, using her cousin as an excuse. You gritted your teeth; she might have not remembered his appearance — as she only saw him in the rare pictures you’d shown her — but she definitely remembered his name and the fact the he went to Columbia University. Playing it off as if she’d ‘introduced’ you to each other was peak Eunjoo.

“Didn’t know you know Youngjae”, Yugyeom broke the silence a couple of minutes later.

“And I didn’t remember you do”, you answered. Awkward, to say the least. You wish it wasn’t this uncomfortable.

“On our way from the parking lot, she kept on telling me about her amazing best friend”, he continued, having taken a sip of his drink, “and also mentioned that this friend is freshly single. I didn’t understand what she meant until I saw the said friend”, he chuckled. You couldn’t help but smile back.

“She’s unbearable”, you sighed, “sorry about that”.

Yugyeom shook his head. “No need to apologize. I’m used to people ‘advertising’ possible girlfriends to me”.

“People?”

Now it was his turn to sigh. “Fine, not people in plural. My mom”.

You couldn’t stop yourself from snoring; in response, Yugyeom let out a breathy laugh. And in that moment, the time seemed to stop running as it used to. In that moment it seemed as if the two of you were laughing at some stupid jokes you shared when you were younger, when you were soaked from the pouring rain, riding your bikes on the country road, when you were lying in bed, your head on his chest, stomachs hurting after you laughed too hard. No matter how much times passed, you wanted to be absorbed in those moments, to stay in those memories forever. Because everything about Yugyeom just screamed home. You wish you could have changed the past after him completely.

God, you just wish none of it had happened.

Taglist:

@heylookwhoitis @amaranth-writing @itstorimf @tenshimara @whyyougottadothatbro

Fic masterlist <3

#bang chan #bang chan imagine #bangchan imagines #bang chan x female reader #bangchan imagine #bangchan #bang chan x reader #bang chan x oc #bang chan x you #bang chan imagines #bangchan x reader #bangchan x you #bangchan x y/n #stray kids imagine #kim yugyeom imagines #kim yugyeom x reader #got7 imagines

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kathaelipwse · 1 month ago

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GOT7 | Headcanons

Theme: Members As Friends And Lovers

Requested by: @canigotosleep--plz

Warnings: Fluff and just fluff, Neutral gender!reader, my personal opinions!!!

Word Count: 1.0k

Mark Tuan

❀ As a Friend:

The type to listen quietly and then drop the most insightful advice.

Will send you a simple "You good?" text instead of asking too many questions.

Always down for a spontaneous road trip or late-night drive in silence.

The one who remembers your favorite food and orders it for you before you ask.

Rarely starts conversations but always responds when you need him.

❤️ As a Lover:

Love Language: Acts of Service & Quality Time.

Prefers subtle physical affection—hand-holding, thigh touches while driving, and soft back hugs.

He’s not the type for over-the-top gestures, but he makes sure you know he loves you through actions.

Might not say "I love you" often, but his eyes show it every time he looks at you.

Loves watching you when you’re not paying attention—he thinks you're the most beautiful when you're just being yourself.

The kind of boyfriend who lets you nap on his chest and absentmindedly plays with your hair.

Lim Jae-beom

❀ As a Friend:

Looks out for you like a protective older brother.

Roasts you all the time but will fight anyone who actually upsets you.

Is the first one to notice if you’re stressed and forces you to take a break.

Would drive you home at 3 AM just to make sure you’re safe.

If he says he’ll be there for you, he means it—he’s as loyal as they come.

❤️ As a Lover:

Love Language: Physical Touch & Words of Affirmation.

Super touchy but in a non-obvious way—lingering hand touches, resting his hand on your thigh, or pulling you close when walking.

Lowkey enjoys cuddling but won’t admit it—he just “accidentally” falls asleep with you in his arms.

He might act cool, but he’s obsessed with kissing you, especially slow, deep kisses.

If he’s jealous, he won’t say anything—he’ll just pull you closer and make sure everyone knows you’re his.

Finds excuses to touch you, like fixing your hair or tracing small circles on your back when sitting together.

Jackson Wang

❀ As a Friend:

The ultimate hype man—your biggest cheerleader in life.

Insists on FaceTiming you instead of texting.

If you're sad, he’ll take you out for a fun adventure to cheer you up.

Will introduce you to every single person he knows and brag about how amazing you are.

Gets over-the-top dramatic about everything just to make you laugh.

❤️ As a Lover:

Love Language: Physical Touch & Quality Time.

Super affectionate—hugs, kisses, and hand-holding all the time.

He has zero shame about PDA—if he loves you, the world should know.

Loves lifting you off the ground when he hugs you.

Needs constant physical closeness—he’ll drape himself over you from behind like a human koala.

If you’re apart for too long, expect a dramatic “I missed you so much!!” the moment he sees you again.

Park Jin-young

❀ As a Friend:

The mom friend—he always makes sure you're making smart decisions.

Likes intellectual conversations and debating random topics for fun.

Pretends to be serious but actually has the best sense of humor.

He'll send you book recommendations and expect you to discuss them with him.

If you have a problem, he’ll help you solve it logically but with a side of sarcasm.

❤️ As a Lover:

Love Language: Words of Affirmation & Quality Time.

Prefers small, meaningful touches—a hand squeeze, brushing your hair away, or a soft kiss before leaving.

He’s not the type for over-the-top PDA, but in private, he’s incredibly soft and loving.

Loves slow, deep kisses that last longer than expected.

Would rather whisper sweet things in your ear than say them out loud in front of others.

Writes you letters when he’s feeling sentimental but acts like it’s “not a big deal.”

Choi Young-jae

❀ As a Friend:

A literal ray of sunshine—his energy is contagious.

Always sending you memes and dog photos to brighten your day.

Will drop whatever he's doing if you need help.

If you're sad, he’ll hug you until you feel better (and maybe write a song about it).

The most genuinely happy for your successes.

❤️ As a Lover:

Love Language: Physical Touch & Words of Affirmation.

Loves cuddling—he could stay in bed all day just snuggled up with you.

Will randomly grab your hand and swing it back and forth while walking.

Likes to playfully boop your nose or poke your cheeks just to make you laugh.

Gets shy when expressing feelings but his touch says it all—soft, lingering, and full of love.

The type to hug you from behind while you’re doing something and just stay there for a while.

BamBam

❀ As a Friend:

Your fashion guru—always wants to go shopping with you.

Loves taking aesthetic photos of you for Instagram.

Teases you all the time, but if someone else does, he gets defensive real quick.

Randomly calls you just to gossip and catch up.

Will buy you a ridiculous gift “just because it reminded me of you.”

❤️ As a Lover:

Love Language: Gift Giving & Physical Touch.

Always flirting—he loves seeing you blush.

Loves PDA but in a playful way—wants to make others jealous of how cute you two are.

Randomly grabs your face and kisses you just because he can.

Buys you expensive gifts but acts like it’s “no big deal.”

If you’re feeling down, expect a shopping trip and a fancy dinner date to lift your mood.

Kim Yugyeom

❀ As a Friend:

The gentle giant—sweet but surprisingly mischievous.

Always down for a random dance battle.

Loves sending you weird, funny TikToks at 2 AM.

The friend who carries your bags without you asking.

If you need a hug, he's got you covered—big, warm, comforting bear hugs.

❤️ As a Lover:

Love Language: Physical Touch & Quality Time.

Loves touching you absentmindedly—playing with your fingers, resting his head on your shoulder, or leaning against you.

Slow kisses are his thing—deep, meaningful, and just enough to make your heart race.

Likes to wrap his arms around you from behind and sway gently.

If he’s lying down, expect him to pull you into his chest for cuddles without asking.

Prefers spending time together over texting—even if you’re just sitting in comfortable silence.

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csprint · 2 months ago

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GOT7 reaction to someone badmouthing their s/o

Ot7 reactions

kookinglikeachef: Really missed these 7 chaotic divas!

Mark:

He doesn’t do all that talking. They either square tf up or stfu. He’s not trained in martial arts for nothing. Ever heard of the roundhouse flying laptop or the air con strike? Talk about his s/o and find out. He dare them.

Jay B:

No words would be said. Fuck with lawyer Lim’s s/o? They’d wake up one day and they’re losing everything. Their job, home, friends. SHUNNED by society. It doesn’t matter. Any other day he would've served them a two piece and a biscuit and we ain't talking food.

Jackson:

OH, so you wanna BOX?! Shits gonna turn into Waffle House. So when he hears them talking. He’s ready to fuck shit up. “Keep my s/o’s name out of your fucking mouth.” And hit them with the Will Smith cause tf they think this is?

Jinyoung:

DISGUSTED FACE. He is utterly disgusted and you know the face I’m talking about. He’s gonna beat them with the ahgabong. Really wants to murder them. Probably does. And he’ll get away with it, too.

Youngjae:

Laughs at them. Like head thrown back, chin touching his chest laughing. Calls up his sister so she can laugh at them too. Whoever was talking bad about his s/o is gonna wish they didn’t. Finds them the next day with his s/o and the rest of GOT7 so they can all point and laugh at the mf since they wanna be so desperate for attention.

Bambam:

“Oh you wanna talk about mothers! It’s mother time. Okay. Your mother so dumb-” he’s gonna roast them to no end and make a whole performance of it. Then it becomes a trend. Their life will be a living hell if someone’s smacking their gums about his s/o. Only he’s allowed to badmouth his s/o (lovingly).

Yugyeom:

Stomp stomp stomp little bitch. He’s not letting someone talk about the love of his life like that. And he’s been taking boxing? Will knock them tf out if he has to but he’s cocky and lets his height do all the talking for him. Learned it from his hyungs. (But if they’re bigger or stronger, then he’s 100% crying). Hope his s/o can handle their own.

#got7 #got7 jay b #got7 mark #got7 jackson #got7 jinyoung #got7 youngjae #got7 bambam #got7 yugyeom #got7 reactions #got7 fanfic #got7 x reader #mark tuan #jay b #jackson wang #park jinyoung #choi youngjae #bambam #kim yugyeom #kookinglikeachef

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tangerineastronaut · 20 days ago

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Jealousy | GOT7 Fake Texts

Pairing: Reader x ot7 Genre: fake texts/reactions, fluff and smut Requested: Yes ❣️Warnings: Dirty talk/sexting, explicit language, jealousy, slight angst, power dynamics-ish A/N: Ty for a GOT7 request :)

Home | Masterlists | Become a Lovelynaut

GOT7 Lovelynauts: @cozypaint @ktt-nz @lezleeferguson-120 @ib022 @Cristy-101

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thealternateuniverse · 2 months ago

Text

Hairstyle

Got7 x reader A/N: I am so obsessed with Yugyeom's AOMG era. He burned those damn skinny jeans the moment he left JYP. If there's a song for this fanfiction- it would be Hey daddy (Daddy's Home) by Usher. (Someone please get Yugyeom a girlfriend 😫) Word count: 2485 Warnings: None just some fluff ______ You turned off your phone with a pout, still frustrated that Yugyeom hadn’t responded to your texts. You checked the time zone—2 AM in Germany, and here you were in Japan, wide awake. Your family had decided to spend the holidays here with Jackson’s family, while the brothers, Mark and Yugyeom, were off vacationing in Germany.

"Stop checking your phone," Jackson teased, sneaking up behind you. "You two were just FaceTiming earlier."

"I can’t help it!" you huffed, crossing your arms. "I miss him already."

Jackson chuckled, draping an arm over your shoulders and shaking his head. "Why don’t we go shopping? We can pick up something for them. It’ll take your mind off him until he wakes up, wherever he is."

It actually sounded like a good idea. Plus, you still hadn’t figured out what to get Yugyeom for the holidays. With a nod, you followed Jackson out for a shopping spree.

The streets of Tokyo were alive with dazzling lights and festive decorations. Christmas in Japan had a different kind of magic—bright illuminations, couples walking hand in hand, and stores filled with limited-edition holiday merchandise. You tugged your coat tighter around you, still feeling the winter chill despite the warmth of the city.

Jackson dragged you into a luxury store first, insisting that Yugyeom needed something stylish.

"Look at this," he said, holding up a designer jacket. "This would look amazing on him."

You tilted your head, picturing Yugyeom in it. "Hmm… it does suit him."

"Of course, I have taste," Jackson grinned. "Unlike you, who was about to buy him—what? A stuffed animal?"

You swatted his arm. "He likes cute things! And he would actually keep it."

Jackson rolled his eyes. "You are so whipped."

"Whatever," you muttered, moving to another section of the store.

Eventually, you settled on a sleek silver ring that you knew would look good on his fingers. Simple but meaningful. It felt like the perfect gift.

Just as you were about to pay, your phone buzzed.

Kyum 💙: You awake? Kyum 💙: I miss you.

You couldn’t stop the huge grin that spread across your face.

Jackson groaned. "Oh my god, you’re smiling like an idiot. You’re literally hopeless."

"Shut up," you said, quickly typing back.

You: Go back to sleep, it's 3 AM there! Kyum 💙: Not until you tell me you love me.

Your heart skipped a beat. Damn him.

Jackson peeked over your shoulder. "Oh my god, are you guys that cheesy? Get a room—wait, no, get another country."

You ignored him, chuckling as you typed back.

You: Fine, I love you. Now sleep.

A reply came almost instantly.

Kyum 💙: I love you more. Also, buy me something cute.

You giggled. Jackson groaned dramatically. "I swear, this is worse than a K-drama."

But you didn’t care. Because no matter how far apart you were, Yugyeom always had a way of making you feel like he was right there with you.

"Seriously, what the heck? It looks like we bought out an entire store!" Jackson groaned, struggling to carry all the bags filled with the items you’d picked out. You hadn’t even really thought about it, you just grabbed anything that reminded you of your boyfriend. Damn, you missed him so much. ------------------- Thanksgiving had come and gone, and you were already back home, but Yugyeom was still in Germany. He’d be there for another two days, and the separation anxiety was killing you. FaceTiming wasn’t enough, either you’d fall asleep first, or he would. It was so frustrating. All you wanted was to cuddle him.

Your phone buzzed, nearly slipping from your hand as you eagerly checked, hoping it was Yugyeom. To your disappointment, it was Bambam. You weren’t even back at your dorm yet, and he was already asking to meet up.

Bam: Where are you? You: At home. Why? Bam: Too bad! Can we meet up around the area? The YSL bag I’m about to give you can’t wait.

Your eyes widened at the mention of a YSL bag.

You: You're lying. Prove it.

Bambam sent a photo almost immediately—a sleek black Saint Laurent bag sitting pretty in its box.

Bam: Doubt me again and I’ll give it to Lisa instead.

You rolled your eyes, but you were already reaching for your coat.

You: Fine. Where are you?

Bam: The café near your place. Hurry up, before I change my mind.

You huffed, grabbing your things and slipping on your shoes. The thought of seeing Bambam and securing a brand-new designer bag was enough to make you move fast.

As you made your way to the café, your phone buzzed again. This time, your heart skipped a beat.

Kyum 💙: Where are you going this late?

Damn. Did he have a sixth sense or something? You hadn’t even texted him yet.

You: Bam wants to meet up. He said he has something for me.

Kyum 💙: At this hour?

You bit your lip. Uh-oh. Someone was grumpy.

You: It’s fine! I’ll be quick.

No reply.

You sighed, pushing the door open to the café, only to be greeted by Bambam’s signature smirk.

"You look nervous," he teased.

You plopped down across from him. "Yugyeom is being weird."

Bambam laughed. "Ah, he’s jealous."

You frowned. "Of what?"

Bambam wiggled his eyebrows, pushing the bag toward you. "Of me, obviously."

You rolled your eyes, but a small smile played on your lips. If Yugyeom was jealous, then maybe… just maybe… he was missing you a little extra tonight.

He handed you the YSL box containing the bag.

"Thanks, Bam!" you beamed.

Trust Bambam to be stylish—he could easily pass as a stylist someday.

Your eyes lit up as you began unboxing it. What the heck? This was absolutely gorgeous.

"Glad you like it! It took Yugye—" Huh?

You paused mid-unboxing and looked up at Bambam suspiciously.

"It took who?" You pressed.

Bambam’s eyes darted to the side, and he coughed into his fist. "Uh—what? No one. I mean, I just—um—found it and thought of you."

Your jaw dropped. "Bambam."

He sighed, slumping in his chair. "Okay, okay! It took Yugyeom forever to pick that bag for you, alright? He called me six times asking if you’d like black or beige, if the gold chain was too much, if the size was right—"

Your heart skipped a beat. "Wait… he picked this?"

"Yeah, duh." Bambam rolled his eyes. "Why do you think he was acting weird earlier? He probably wanted to give it to you himself."

You stared at the bag in your hands, warmth spreading through your chest. Yugyeom picked this. He was the one worrying over every little detail, making sure it was perfect for you.

Your phone buzzed again.

Kyum 💙: Are you home yet?

You bit your lip, trying to fight the stupid grin forming on your face.

Bambam groaned. "Ugh, you have that lovesick look. Just call him already!"

You laughed, clutching the bag closer. Maybe you would.

You still hadn’t replied to Yugyeom, too caught up in admiring the bag he’d picked for you. You couldn’t help the fluttering in your stomach, it was so thoughtful of him. Even as you got home, you couldn't stop smiling like an idiot.

Your jaw dropped, even the bag you are holding, when you entered your house.

Yugyeom was sitting on your couch. You almost did not recognize him because...... what the hell did he do to his hair?

Yugyeom was sitting on your couch.

Your heart stopped. "W-What the hell?! What are you doing here?!"

He grinned lazily, stretching his long legs out. "Surprise."

You blinked rapidly, trying to process his presence. "You're supposed to be in Germany!"

"Yeah, well..." He rubbed the back of his neck, looking slightly guilty. "I, uh, cut the trip short."

Your eyes widened. "Why?"

Yugyeom smirked, leaning forward. "Because someone was too busy staring at a bag to text me back."

Your mouth opened and closed, heat rushing to your cheeks. "I—I was just—"

"Just what?" He stood up, stepping closer. "Too distracted by the gift I picked for you?"

You swallowed hard, your pulse racing as he invaded your space. "Maybe."

His smirk softened, and he reached out, brushing his knuckles against your cheek. "Did you like it?"

You looked down at the bag, still stunned. "I love it."

Yugyeom hummed in satisfaction. "Good. Then I don't regret flying all the way here just to see you hold it."

Your breath hitched. "You flew back for me?"

He grinned, tilting his head. "Well… yeah. And maybe because I missed you like crazy."

Your heart was doing backflips at this point. "Idiot." You whispered, but you were already reaching up to pull him into a hug.

He chuckled, wrapping his arms around you. "Yeah, yeah. But I'm your idiot." “And what the hell did you do to your hair?!” you blurted out, slightly pushing him to take in his whole new appearance. His once dark locks were now light brown, tousled messily as if he had just rolled out of bed. Yugyeom smirked, running a hand through his newly dyed hair. “You don’t like it?” “I—That’s not the point!” You threw your hands in the air. . “You’re supposed to be in Germany! And now you're here, looking like some K-drama second male lead who's about to break my heart.”

He let out a low chuckle. “Damn, is that what I look like? Should I go back to black?” You shook your head in disbelief, stepping closer. “No, it’s just… Why? And why do you look like this?”

You had to admit, his new look did something to you that you couldn’t quite explain. He looked... magical.

“Wanted a change. And… I missed you.”

Your breath hitched. “So you impulsively dyed your hair and hopped on a flight back?”

He shrugged. “Pretty much.”

You stared at him, your emotions a chaotic mix of disbelief, fondness, and something dangerously close to love. “You’re insane.”

He smirked, tugging at your wrist, making you stumble forward slightly. “Maybe. But you love me anyway, don’t you?”

You rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the way your heart was hammering in your chest. “Debatable.”

He laughed, pulling you close to him once again “Then I guess I’ll just have to make you admit it.”

You remember you have to give him what you bought from Japan also.

Your eyes widened as you suddenly remembered the shopping bags in your room. You quickly turn around making Yugyeom raise an eyebrow at your sudden movement.

"Wait, I got you something," you said, rushing over to grab them in your room, neatly wrapped package from your shopping spree in Japan.

Yugyeom smirked, watching you with amusement when you returned. "Oh? My girlfriend spoiling me now?"

"Shut up," you muttered, shoving the bag into his hands. "Just open it."

He chuckled but did as you said, tearing into the wrapping like an eager kid on Christmas morning. His eyes lit up when he pulled out the limited edition designer hoodie you had painstakingly picked for him.

"Shit," he muttered, running his fingers over the fabric. "This is sick. You really know my taste, huh?"

You shrugged, pretending to be nonchalant even though his reaction made your heart swell. "Well, you should look good if you're gonna keep making impulsive decisions like dyeing your hair brown."

He snorted. "You love it. Admit it."

You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms. "Are you gonna try it on or not?"

Yugyeom smirked, standing up and pulling the hoodie over his head in one swift motion. It fit him perfectly, and damn, you had to admit he looked really good.

"So?" he asked, striking a playful pose.

You bit your lip, refusing to give him the satisfaction. "Yeah, yeah. It suits you."

He stepped closer, leaning down slightly. "That all?"

You huffed, looking away. "Fine. You look hot, okay?"

He grinned, his hands sliding around your waist. "Knew it."

You groaned. "I hate you."

"Liar," he whispered before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

You hesitated for a moment before reaching into the shopping bag again. Your fingers brushed against the small velvet box, and suddenly, you felt nervous. It wasn’t that serious, but still… buying a ring for someone felt kind of intimate.

Clearing your throat, you pulled out the box and handed it to Yugyeom. "I, uh… I also got you this."

He looked at the box, then back at you, curiosity flickering in his eyes. "A ring?"

You nodded. "You always wear them, and I saw this one and thought it’d look good on you."

Yugyeom opened the box, and for a moment, he just stared. Inside was a sleek silver band, simple yet elegant, something that screamed him. His long fingers traced over the metal before he slipped it onto his ring finger, testing the fit.

"Damn," he muttered, holding up his hand to admire it. "You really know me too well."

You shrugged, trying to act casual. "If you don’t like it, you don’t have to—"

"Shut up," he interrupted, stepping closer. His fingers curled around your wrist, tugging you toward him. "I love it."

Your breath hitched when he lifted your hand, pressing a kiss against your knuckles. His lips brushed your skin so softly that it sent a shiver down your spine.

"Does this mean I gotta get you one too?" he teased, his voice low and playful.

You rolled your eyes, ignoring the heat creeping up your cheeks. "Just say thank you, idiot."

He grinned, his fingers lacing with yours—the ring on his hand shining under the dim light.

"Thank you, my idiot," he murmured, pressing a quick kiss to your lips this time.

#kim yugyeom #yugyeom #bambam #mark tuan #choi youngjae #jayb #jaebeom #got7 x reader #aghase #got7 #got7 fanfic #igot7 #yugyeom x reader

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justawritterwithideas · 16 days ago

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never his type | park jinyoung

summary: a little inspiration from lee youngji's “small girl”. I've always known that I'm not the kind of girl Jinyoung would choose. I'm not delicate, I'm not reserved, I don't fit into his perfect world. Besides, he only sees me as his friend. So I decided to stop trying, to let him go and live without expecting anything from him, and for the first time, to look in another direction without expecting that he will look back at me. But why does it seem like every time I try to pull away, the more he tries to get closer? warnings: I haven't written an au in a long time, so there might be some poor writing, beyond that a lot of mixed feelings, fluff, jinyoung!coworker, AAAAAAAA I loved writing this. this story is a jinyoung x fem y/n, hope you like it. words: 8,316 words. (ohmy) a/n: it's been a while since I last wrote, but I was in a creative slump for a long time where I didn't like anything or had no motivation to write, but recently got7 made a comeback and I said 'why not?' also, I've noticed that there isn't much got7 content on tumblr, so I hope you like this one, I really enjoyed writing it and finding myself again. i want to remind you that English is not my first language, so if there are mistakes I hope you will forgive me :( thank u, TQM.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶

“Baby, would you still love me?

Though I got a big laugh, big voice, and big personality

Would you guarantee?

‘Small Girl’, Lee Young Ji.

They say that love is not forced, that if you have to beg for someone's attention, then it's not worth it. But no one tells you what to do when your heart is stubborn, when it insists on beating harder for someone who barely notices you.

I knew it from the beginning.

Jinyoung would never look at me the way I looked at him.

Because I'm not his type.

I'm not the discreet, elegant girl he usually likes, and that's okay.

Or at least, that's what I keep telling myself while I change the name of his contact on my phone and promise myself, once again, that this time I'm going to get over it.

But of course, saying I'm going to get over him is easy. The problem is actually doing it.

Because even if I delete our pictures together, even if I promise myself that this is the last time I let it affect me, the next day I'm still in the same place. Sitting in the usual coffee shop, surrounded by the same people, with Jinyoung on the other side of the table, laughing at something one of our co-workers said.

And, by inertia, my eyes search for him.

Memorize him.

His laugh, the way his eyes close a little when he's really enjoying himself, how he runs a hand through his hair when he's concentrating.

Little habits that I shouldn't notice, that shouldn't matter, but are engraved in me.

I take a deep breath. No more.

I'm going to forget you.

I'm going to stop liking you.

Because yes, today will be different.

Today, for the first time, I won't wait for you to look back at me.

Today, I will finally stop liking Park Jinyoung.

That's a promise.

But to be honest, I don't know exactly when or how I started to like Jinyoung, I think one day happened and that's it, there was no turning back.

Although I do remember the first time we met.

I think it was April, or maybe May, or something like that, a month where flowers were beginning to appear on the trees along with the first signs of the return of the warm sun in Seoul.

It had been a busy few weeks, probably the busiest I'd had since coming to this place. Work had multiplied after my partner's maternity leave, so all her work was now mine as well and it was starting to pile up next to the work I had accumulated for weeks on my desk.

I remember that my blouse was bothering me and my pants were not warm enough for the cold office, which was hiding from the sun's rays. In desperation because of the cold, I decided to escape from my pile of earrings to get some sun on the terrace, knowing that I might get a scolding.

But at that moment, I didn't care; I wasn't going to let someone else catch a cold when spring was in full bloom.

As I waited for the elevator, intending to escape in it, the metal doors opened revealing my boss accompanied by someone else. I felt that karma was playing against me for my actions, but at that instant my mind was not for worries.

In fact, his attention was on the young man in front of me and how I had suddenly forgotten how to breathe, leaving the air trapped in my lungs. His black suit perfectly marked his figure, his glasses, always sliding down the bridge of his nose, gave him an added charm, and his lotion....

God, his lotion was almost as mesmerizing as his gaze.

“Miss Kim, how nice to find you around.”

My supervisor's voice snapped me out of the trance that was beginning to cloud my mind.

“I want to introduce you to Mr. Park, Park Jinyoung, he will be your new partner until Miss Yun returns from leave.”

“It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Kim.”

I don't know how long I stared at Jinyoung, but it was probably my flushed face and the awkwardness of my response that caused him to laugh.

From that day on, we became inseparable.

In my eyes, he was the spitting image of a prince out of a fairy tale. From head to toe, he looked like the perfect man. But it wasn't just his looks that captivated me, it was the way he was that made me fall more in love with him every day.

I loved that every morning he would greet me and talk to me until our workday began. That, throughout the day, he would give me little treats to keep me energized. That he would accompany me to lunch, even if he had already finished his lunch break. That he would wait for me in the elevator so that we could go to the bus stop together and that, without saying so, he would let a few buses go by just so he could stay a little longer by my side.

But to be honest... was there anything I didn't like about Jinyoung?

Ah, yes.

There was something.

I didn't like that I wasn't his type.

One day, as I was on my way to deliver some papers to Marketing, I saw Jinyoung and a couple of friends sitting around having a coffee. My feet were hurrying towards them to greet them but my brain slowed them down, hearing the question Jaebeom had asked the brunette before they could see me coming.

“What about you Jinyoung, what kind of girls do you like?”

My heart began to beat fast, almost as if I had run a full marathon without stopping. Like a coward, I hid behind a pillar while I listened to their conversation.

Yes, it was disrespectful of me to listen to someone else's conversation, but I couldn't move. I didn't know if it was my body or my heart that had decided to leave me there, listening to the dialogue between them.

“Well, I don't have an exact type.”

I breathed again.

“Don't lie, I know you have one” A second voice spoke.

My eyes caught the silhouette of BamBam, who was playfully slapping his hyung.

“Don't be shy, Jinyoungie. Tell us, we are friends.”

It seemed that the pressure caused by the pair had made Jinyoung succumb to their question, who was starting to rub the back of his neck before answering them.

“Okay, okay... Well, I like girls shorter than me, I don't really have a preference in hair color but I think blondes look good, they look pretty. Maybe that they're discreet, elegant, that I feel like I can introduce her to my parents without fear that they might reject her, that they don't talk or laugh too much, I don't know! Right, that's enough.”

Shit.

My body froze.

Suddenly, I could feel the coffee I had drunk in the morning getting stuck in my throat, unable to move from my spot.

I stood there, my fingers clenching tightly around the papers I was supposed to deliver, as if to keep my thoughts from spiraling out of control.

Discreet. Elegant. Pleasing in the eyes of her parents.

Definitely, of all the things the man had named.

None of those things were me.

I let out a low sigh and closed my eyes for a second, forcing myself to compose myself. It wasn't like he expected to hear my description on his list, but I wasn't amused to feel so out of it either. Like the possibility didn't even exist.

Nothing on that silly list defined me. If anything really characterized me, it was my outrageous laugh, my sarcastic comments that left more than one person speechless, and my absolute inability to keep quiet when something bothered me. Not to mention, of course, my ridiculous height, which used to surprise anyone upon seeing me for the first time.

And elegant? Well... tripping over my own feet and spouting curses at the worst moment definitely didn't fall into that category.

I pursed my lips and glanced sideways again.

Jinyoung was smiling with the confidence of someone who thought he was pretty clear on what he wanted. But if he was so sure, why did he feel the need to justify himself so much?

I forced myself to let go of the papers in my hands and smooth them out with my fingers, playing with the edge of them. It was then that a small smile appeared on my lips.

“Of all the things you mentioned, Jinyoung, none of them fit me,” I thought, feeling a spark of amusement mixed with something else, something I didn't want to admit. “It's almost like I'm exactly the kind of girl that terrifies you.”

I bit my lip, fighting the temptation to laugh. But not a happy laugh, but the kind that sounded more like a resigned sigh.

“Oh, noona!”

A shiver ran through my body when I heard BamBam's voice calling me. As best I could, I recomposed the expression on my face and turned around, looking at the trio in front of me.

“Mhm? Oh, guys, what's wrong?”

“What are you doing here, is something wrong?”

Quick. Make something up.

“Oh yeah, I wanted to check with you guys to see if you knew if Seojun was at his desk, I was asked to deliver some papers to him before he went out to lunch.”

“I'm not sure, in fact I think he already went out, but we can-”

“You're bleeding.”

Jinyoung's voice brought me back to earth, feeling his hands wrap around mine and watching as blood gushed out and stained the papers.

“Let me tend to you, let's go get something to nurse-”

“Don't worry, Jinyoung. I'll go to the bathroom and then I'm going to redo these papers.”

“But it's almost time to eat and your finger...”

“Don't worry, I'll stop by today from lunch, I have to deliver this urgently, don't worry. Excuse me.”

As best I could, I bowed and slipped out of there.

That day was the beginning of something I didn't know how to stop.

After that, I started to distance myself. At first, it was just small, almost imperceptible details. I avoided spending too much time in the same spaces as him, I let conversations with the group flow without looking for his gaze, and I even forced myself not to react when he said something that would normally make me respond in search of some reaction from him. It wasn't difficult, at least at first. I kept telling myself that it was for the best, that there was no point in holding on to something that clearly had no place in his world.

But Jinyoung... he didn't make it easy.

Every time I thought I had found a balance, something about him would push me back. A genuine concern, a warmer-than-normal smile, the way he always seemed to notice when something was bothering me before others did. Details that shouldn't mean that much, but to my misfortune, they did.

And so, while I tried to pull away, he kept tugging at an invisible string that tied me to his orbit, even without realizing it.

Until one day I looked at my reflection and understood that my heart was not only frayed...but that every show of affection from him was making it break a little more.

“Noona, are you okay?”

BamBam's voice snapped me out of my trance. I blinked several times, snapping back to the present. We were in a coffee shop with the team, the murmur of conversations and the sound of cups clinking against plates filled the atmosphere. I hadn't even realized I had stopped listening.

“Huh? Yeah, yeah... I was just thinking about a few things.”

Jinyoung looked at me from across the table. It seemed that my disconnection to the atmosphere had caused him some strangeness, trying to tell me something through his gaze, something I couldn't quite make out.

I removed myself in my seat, uncomfortable.

“Wow, she looked so serious I thought she was planning world domination or something” Youngjae joked, making me let out a forced laugh.

I forced myself to pick up my glass and take a sip. I didn't want them to notice anything weird. I didn't want him to notice something was wrong.

But I knew it wouldn't be long before he did. Because Jinyoung always noticed those things.

And that was just the problem.

My phone vibrated in my bag, causing me to rummage through my things before I saw the screen.

Jinyoung: hey, u okay?

My eyes searched for him, catching him in the way he was watching me from across the table, almost crossing me. A subtle smile, almost impossible to discover whether it was a lie or not, came across my face, accompanying a soft nod of my head.

Me: yeah, don't worry! :)

I went back to watching him, trying to connect with the conversation the group was carrying so that I could look interested and laugh at whatever they were talking about, unconcerned with the man in the other corner.

It seemed to have been a success when he reconnected to the flow of the others.

When the coffee had cooled and everyone looked pretty interested in leaving, the conversation was over, and being honest I don't even remember 80% of what we had talked about that night. Gradually the goodbyes began to be heard, as well as the sound of cars leaving the place.

To my misfortune, not having a car tied me to public transportation, occupying an app or asking others if they could get me as close to home as possible.

“Are you leaving already?”

My heart gave a slight flip when I heard his voice, but my mind forcefully suppressed it. I turned to meet Jinyoung, who had stopped beside me with his hands in his pockets and that calm expression that always seemed so natural on him.

“Something like that,” I replied lightly, glancing at my cell phone screen again. “I'm seeing if an Uber or taking the bus is more feasible.”

“Don't worry, I'll get you closer to your hou-”

“Oppa!”

Our conversation was interrupted by a third party, causing all attention to focus on the newcomer.

Jia, Choi Jia.

Remember the list of things Jinyoung had said earlier about his ideal girl? Well, somehow, everything about her fit perfectly with the description the boy had given that day.

Short, elegant, discreet. Her long blonde hair fell in perfect waves over her shoulders, and her sweet smile seemed designed to win over any strict mother. She was the kind of girl who didn't raise her voice any louder than necessary, who always knew how to behave at the right moment.

In other words, his ideal type.

And, of course, she knew it.

I barely turned around to see her approaching with a beaming smile, holding Jinyoung's arm with familiarity.

“Let's go together! Our house is in the same direction, remember?”

A knot formed in my stomach before I could help it.

Of course, how had I forgotten?

Jia and Jinyoung lived in the same area.

It was almost as if fate was playing all its cards so that our paths wouldn't come together in any way.

He blinked, confused, as if he had just remembered that detail. “Oh... right.”

“It's perfect,” she continued, not letting go of his arm. “That way you don't have to take a detour.”

Jinyoung hesitated for a second and his gaze rested on me, as if he was still considering his original offer.

But I saw it in his eyes... he wasn't going to say no to Jia.

And I had no intention of just standing there waiting for him to do so.

“It's okay, don't worry, Jinyoung,” I said quickly, forcing a smile. “I'll take the bus, it's fine.”

“But-”

“Noona!”

Another voice interrupted me before Jinyoung could continue speaking. BamBam approached with the phone in his hand and an excited expression.

“Where are you going now, noona?”

“I'm going to catch the bus.”

“No noona! A friend is coming to pick me up and he can bring you closer to your house too, he's in the same direction where we're going. He has no problem with you joining us on our journey.”

I inwardly thanked him for his sudden intervention and nodded quickly. “Are you sure? I don't want to inconvenience anyone.”

“Trust me, you won't.” He said with a mischievous grin. “Besides, it sure will do him good to meet more people.”

Just then, and almost falling from the sky, the lights of a black car illuminated part of the parking lot as it pulled up in front of us.

“There he is,” BamBam announced, raising his hand in greeting.

The driver's door opened, and out stepped a tall boy with somewhat tousled dark hair and a calm but attentive expression. His sharp features were accentuated by the dim street lighting, and the way he moved, with a natural, effortless confidence, made him instantly catch the eye.

BamBam smiled proudly before making introductions.

“Hyung, hey!”

Jinyoung, who was still beside me, straightened his shoulders slightly. Jia tilted her head curiously and I just stood static, watching the man arriving to join us.

“This is Mark.” The boy greeted everyone with a simple nod, trying to decipher our names. “Hyung, this is Jia, Jinyoung hyung and my noona, that's who we'll be taking today, our new traveling companion.”

“Bam's famous noona, it's a relief to finally give her a face.” A smile broke out on my face as he finished speaking, thanking the heavens that the subject had suddenly changed his direction.

“I hope he spoke only wonders about me.”

“Oh, of course he did. In fact, I don't think he was able to shut up after I asked him.”

Mark's laughter was catching in the air, causing me to laugh along with him as well. But despite that instant of grace, I could feel Jinyoung's steady gaze burn into my back.

“Don't talk about me like I'm not here! Hyung, noona!”

As if by magic, I felt again that there were people around us, forgetting the feelings that were wrapping around me a couple of minutes ago.

“If you're going to keep laughing at me like that, then we'd better leave, I don't want to be humiliated by you guys anymore!”

I shook my head in amusement as I watched him get into the car, turning my gaze back to Jinyoung and his new co-driver.

“It was nice meeting you guys, I hope we can meet more often.”

Mark's voice broke the silence, echoing softly in the air before he bowed goodbye and got into the car.

Just then, my eyes met Jinyoung's, and my heart raced without warning. I didn't understand why I felt this way so suddenly, but in his gaze there was something... something he was trying to tell me, just like in the cafeteria a couple of minutes ago.

“Well... Get home safely. See you Monday.”

I raised my hand in a farewell gesture before turning to get into the car. But, at that precise moment, a gentle tug on my clothes made me stop.

To my surprise, Jinyoung was holding me. His face reflected an urgency that unsettled me. His lips, as red as an apple, seemed to have been bitten just a few seconds ago. His eyes roamed my face with intensity, as if desperately searching for an answer in it, as if what he wanted to tell me was trapped between us.

With a thread of a voice, I barely managed to ask, “What's wrong, Pepi?”

He opened his mouth, his tongue was pressing against the inside of his cheek, as if the words were on the tip, ready to come out. But they didn't. His grip on my clothes became firmer, as if he was trying to keep me from leaving without hearing what he had to tell me.

But in the end... nothing.

I felt his grip loosen until his hand fell to his side.

“It's nothing, sorry.”

My chest tightened with inexplicable frustration.

“Oh... it's okay.”

A wave of disappointment washed over me from head to toe. I wanted him to speak, to let out those words I was holding back. That he would give me a reason to stay a few seconds longer. But he didn't.

So I just sighed and mumbled a goodbye, before finally getting into the car.

The goodbye had been brief, but the weight of what was left unsaid hung in the air.

The car started up, gliding nimbly between the streets. From the back seat, I watched the city lights fleetingly flash past the window, as Mark and BamBam's voice mingled in distant conversation.

“Noona, how far are we from your house?”

BamBam's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I blinked a couple of times before leaning in slightly to look at him.

“Ah... Not much, about ten more minutes.”

I tried to sound natural, but my mind was still trapped in the instant I had shared with Jinyoung. Or rather, in what we did not share. Something inside me told me that he had wanted to talk, that he had been on the verge of doing so, but something stopped him.

Was it fear, was it doubt, or was he just not as important as I thought he was?

Mark seemed focused on the road, his face serene, but BamBam was watching me with a curious glint in his eye.

“Are you okay?” he asked with a lopsided smile, as if he knew exactly what was going through my mind.

I didn't answer right away. Instead, I forced a smile.

“Yeah, I'm just tired.”

BamBam let out a slight sigh and shrugged. “If you say so, noona.”

The rest of the ride passed in comfortable silence, interrupted only by the murmur of the radio and the occasional conversation between the two of them. For my part, I watched the lights of the city go by, turning the matter over again and wondering what would have happened if Jinyoung had spoken.

Soon after, I could see the cluster of buildings where my home was. The car came to a complete stop and that's when I just opened the door to get out of the car.

“Thank you so much for approaching me, Mark.”

“No problem, besides you were just passing by.”

“Good night, guys. Thanks again.”

Setting my feet on solid ground, I waved goodbye to them one more time before turning around. However, like déjà vu, something once again got in my way, preventing me from moving forward.

“Noona.”

My stride stopped and I turned to look at him.

“If you want to talk about whatever happened back there...you know where to find me.”

His words were playful, but there was something genuine in his tone. I was silent for a moment before smiling sincerely.

“I know, thank you, Bam.”

The next thing I heard was the car start up and drive off into the darkness of the night, as I headed for my apartment.

As soon as I closed the door behind me, I let out a long, tired sigh. I leaned against the wood and closed my eyes, letting all the oxygen in my body go out of my mouth.

It seemed like all my attempts to get away from Jinyoung wanted to be put on pause, almost as if fate finally wanted to give me some of what I prayed so hard for before I went to sleep.

But I couldn't give in to the slightest bit of attention he was giving me, I had to be strong enough to be able to overcome these feelings that were blossoming more and more in me.

I had promised.

I had promised myself.

Be that as it may.

I'm going to stop liking you, Jinyoung.

Despite all my attempts to forget what happened on Friday and turn the page, I had spent the whole weekend with my mind trapped in that moment with Jinyoung.

I relived the scene over and over again, searching in his gaze, in his body language, in every little gesture, for some clue as to what he really wanted to tell me.

But after so much thought, I came to the conclusion that if he didn't say it, maybe it wasn't as important as I thought.

Maybe it was just my imagination playing tricks on me. Maybe, at the last second, he realized that what he wanted to tell me wasn't worth it. Or worse, maybe there was never anything to say.

So I decided to dismiss it. There was no point in going on and on about it and gnawing at my head.

By the time Monday came around, I had buried the issue in the back of my mind, focusing on what really mattered: work.

It is clear that Mondays are always the worst day of the week, but it seemed that today was set to be the worst of all. Apparently all the meetings had been scheduled for that day.

I had barely seen the shadow of Jinyoung's silhouette all day, he had been going up and down the elevator loaded with papers, at the same time that I was moving from one room to another to have all the meetings that could exist in the world.

We didn't cross a single word all day.

There were no morning greetings, no pauses for conversation, no little sweets left on my desk.

And though I repeated to myself that I needn't have minded, a part of me couldn't help but notice.

Between all the work and the small but possible breaks there were to rest, it suddenly got dark and again I was at the entrance of the building, seeing if it was more economical to order an Uber or walk to wait for the bus.

“Are you waiting for the prices to go down?”

Jinyoung's voice interrupted my internal debate, lifting my gaze from the screen and observing the brown-haired man. I couldn't help but scan him, he was wearing a casual outfit but one that didn't lose that hint of elegance he always used to have, he looked perfect.

“Something like that, but I don't think it's going to happen.” I shrugged my shoulders before I could stow the phone in my bag, watching him once again.

“Let's go together.”

His sudden proposal caught me off guard, feeling the pounding of my heart echoing in my chest. A soft blush settled on my cheeks, noticing how Jinyoung gave me one of those smiles that generated butterflies in my stomach.

But before I could say anything, a familiar voice interrupted that scene.

“Ah, noona!”

An elated BamBam appeared in front of us, who looked like he had run so he could meet us.

“We were looking for you.”

“We?”

As soon as that question escaped my mouth, Mark appeared at the side of the young man, who gave him a small pat on the back before looking at me.

“We're going in the same direction as last time. If you want, we can take you again.”

My gaze shifted from BamBam to Mark, and then to Jinyoung.

For the first time that day, he seemed at a loss for words.

His expression tensed for a brief moment before he regained his neutral gesture, as if the interruption didn't affect him in the least.

“Oh guys, excuse me but-”

“You guys go ahead. I'll take the bus. Actually, I have to go somewhere else, I'm meeting someone.”

The echo of Jinyoung's voice made me turn around, noticing how suddenly his expression had changed just like his previous proposition, once again.

His tone was calm, almost indifferent.

But something about the way he averted his gaze and how quickly he ended the conversation made me feel a small twinge in my chest.

Before I could say anything, he had already turned and was walking away down the street with his hands in his pockets.

Mark and BamBam were silent for a few seconds, exchanging quick glances with each other before looking back at me.

They knew something had happened, but neither asked.

“Shall we go, noona?” said BamBam finally, in his usually nonchalant tone, as if he hadn't just noticed how strange the whole exchange had been.

My gaze didn't leave Jinyoung's backpack until it disappeared around the corner, feeling again like there was something he had wanted to say but ended up vanishing into thin air.

“Yeah, let's go.”

The rest of the week went along pretty much the same way.

Whenever it seemed that Jinyoung was going to approach me to tell me something, BamBam and Mark would appear out of nowhere with their usual:

Noona, come on, we'll give you a ride.

At first, I didn't think anything of it.

It was a nice gesture on their part and actually saved me from taking public transportation.

But after the third, the fourth, the fifth time... I started to notice it.

And I wasn't the only one.

Every time it happened, Jinyoung would clench his jaw for barely a second before immediately relaxing, as if reminding himself not to react.

Every time BamBam would appear with his carefree smile, I would watch out of the corner of my eye as Jinyoung would avert his gaze, pretending that it didn't bother him at all.

Whenever Mark would make a simple nod of his head to signal me to leave, Jinyoung would clench his fists slightly, as if he was holding something back.

But he never said anything.

He never complained.

He never tried to avoid it.

And yet, that restrained annoyance was becoming more and more apparent.

Mark and BamBam began to notice it too.

Their gazes became more curious every time Jinyoung and I crossed paths.

More analytical when Jinyoung feigned indifference.

More amused when it seemed that, for a second, he was about to say something... only to stop and carry on as if nothing had happened.

And I, for one, began to wonder how much longer he could keep holding back before he finally snapped.

Finally it was Friday, and as had become customary, I waited at the entrance for my trusted drivers, they didn't usually take much longer than 10 minutes to show up.

As I waited, I could tell that I was no longer alone, but that there was a second presence beside me.

“Shall I keep you company?”

My face turned the instant I saw Jinyoung next to me, noticing how he was arranging his glasses on the bridge of his nose. A smile broke out on my face, nodding softly at his offer.

“Will you go with them again?”

I nodded once more, watching his face turn that relaxation into tension as he confirmed what it seemed he didn't want to hear.

“It's a nice gesture on them to approach me, plus I save some money that way.”

Jinyoung let out a small laugh, but it didn't sound genuine. Rather, it sounded like he was trying to downplay something he didn't particularly enjoy.

“Yeah, right... a nice gesture.”

He didn't say anything else, just looked down and gently kicked the ground with the toe of his shoe.

A small silence formed between us.

It wasn't awkward, but there was something about his posture, the way his jaw tensed and his hands remained inside his coat pockets, that made me think he was holding back from saying something else.

But before I could break the silence that had formed, the vibration of my phone interrupted us.

Bam: Noona, sorry but we're going to be a little late.

My brow furrowed, trying to figure out what was going on with the little context that message had delivered.

A second notification came through.

Bam: Mark is stuck in traffic and I'm having a tummy crisis.

Bam: I didn't have to eat that much kimchi for lunch.

Bam: Go ahead noona, don't wait for us.

I quickly answered that message to stop worrying them and put the cell phone back in its place, letting out a soft sigh.

“Looks like my attempt to save ends today.”

“And that?”

I turned and looked at the man, who was looking at me as he arranged his glasses on the bridge of his nose.

“Mark and Bam won't be able to take me today” I let out a small chuckle before noticing Jinyoung's face relax. “I'll start walking or I'll miss the bus.”

My feet stomped to the stop, but it seemed the echo of my footsteps weren't the only thing I heard.

“I can give you a ride if you like!”

My footsteps paused for a moment. I wasn't sure if I had heard correctly or if my mind was playing a joke on me. I turned to him with a slight nod.

“Huh?”

Jinyoung cleared his throat, as if he himself was surprised by his own offer. He settled his glasses on the bridge of his nose and repeated more firmly.

“That I can give you a ride if you like.”

“Since when do you have a car?” A smile tugged at my lips, noticing how the man moved closer.

“Since Jackson stopped borrowing mine and decided to buy one.”

“He finally has his own car, good for him” We both shared a laugh, feeling how we were back to feeling as comfortable as before. “I was already pretty sure he was going to end up buying your car from you.”

“Thank heavens no, so I can now offer you a ride.”

Again that look.

That look that wanted to say everything but at the same time his mouth said nothing, with that gleam that illuminated his pretty eyes, and how not to forget those pink lips-.

Stop it, stop thinking about it.

My head shook, pushing away those thoughts that, once again, invaded my head again. I relaminated my lips before regaining my composure, watching Jinyoung, who seemed quite interested in my sudden action.

“So, shall we go?”

I hesitated for a second.

Would this really do me any good?

There was no answer to that but if I wanted to get over it, this was the way to do it, putting myself to the test one last time.

“Yeah, come on.”

We both shared a smile before we could walk to the car.

The drive began with a quietness that didn't feel uncomfortable. Jinyoung drove with one hand on the steering wheel and the other resting on the window, while I absentmindedly looked out of mine, feeling the warmth of the sunset tint the city in orange hues.

“If you want, you can play music,” he said suddenly, without taking his eyes off the road.

“Are you sure you trust my playlist?” I joked, grabbing his phone that already had the music app open.

“If it's still this chaotic, probably not.”

I let out a laugh as I started to slide through his playlists.

“Do you actually still have this playlist?” I asked, surprised to see one in particular.

“Which one?”

“The one we made together when we first started working together, with the most ridiculous songs we could find.”

Jinyoung laughed low, shaking his head.

“I didn't have the heart to erase it.”

“Oh, come on, Jinyoung. Tell the truth,” I lightly nudged his arm ‘you love listening to ABBA when you're alone in the car.’

“If you keep that comment up, I'll drop you off at the next corner.”

We both broke into laughter, feeling that distance that had appeared between us over the past few days begin to fade.

It felt right.

It felt... natural.

As the music played softly in the background, we continued to chat, picking up old jokes and creating new ones in the process, almost feeling like the distance that had been generated had brought us closer, where we were once again the same people who would scold each other for not stopping talking after a meeting.

At some point in the conversation, our best memories began to surface, feeling my stomach ache with every laugh we let out.

“It wasn't my fault!” Jinyoung protested with laughter.

“What do you mean it wasn't your fault! You left me stuck in the meeting room because you 'thought I was already gone'!”

“I did it under pressure.”

“Pressure from what?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Pressure from wanting to leave quickly before I got caught in another meeting.”

I let out another laugh, gently punching his arm. I could see how the traffic light had changed to red, giving us a break from the laughter we had been sharing since we got in the car.

Jinyoung ran a hand through his hair, blurting out a sentence that chilled me to the bone.

“I missed this, I missed you.”

The sound of cars passing around us seemed to fade for a moment. My breath caught in my chest as my mind processed his words.

I missed this, I missed you.

It was not an elaborate confession, not a speech full of carefully chosen words. It was simple, sincere and, above all, unexpected.

I watched him out of the corner of my eye, watching his fingers drum softly on the steering wheel, a nervous gesture I rarely saw from him. His eyes were fixed on the red light of the traffic light, but the tension in his jaw gave away that he was waiting for an answer.

No, he was begging for an answer.

I couldn't lie to my own feelings, so I was honest with him.

“Me too” I whispered, almost without realizing it.

Jinyoung turned his face slowly toward me, as if he wasn't sure he had heard right. My gaze met his, and for the first time in a long time, I didn't feel the need to look away.

The traffic light changed to green, but neither of us reacted immediately. A car horn behind us broke the moment, bringing us back to reality.

Jinyoung cleared his throat slightly before tightening his grip on the steering wheel and continuing to drive.

The silence between us was no longer awkward, but charged with something else. Something that hovered in the air, making me feel more aware of his presence, of the accelerated heartbeat in my chest, of how my skin bristled every time our arms accidentally brushed.

The rest of the trip was calmer, sharing different opinions of events that had happened in the office, almost as if we were both trying to avoid the recent confession we had had.

Sooner or later we had arrived at the apartment complex. My eyes averted their gaze from the large buildings to Jinyoung, who was watching me uneasily.

“Thanks for the ride, Pepi.” A new smile broke out on my face, fixing me as he shared his with me as well.

“No problem, it's no trouble.”

“Be careful coming back, okay?”

Before I could leave, I felt my hands itch, almost needing to do something else. Hesitant to do so, I simply let my instinct decide for me.

I leaned in slightly and deposited a kiss on his cheek, barely a brush, but just enough to feel the warmth of his skin against my lips.

Jinyoung seemed to freeze, as if trying to process what had just happened. I didn't wait to see his reaction. I turned quickly and got out of the car, feeling my heart hammering in my chest.

As soon as the cool night air enveloped me, I realized something.

I wasn't going to move forward like this.

If I kept hiding behind small, contained displays of affection, half-hearted moments and unspoken words, I would never get out of this emotional tangle.

“Agh, what a fool.” I muttered to myself, keeping my pace steady down that path.

I took a breath of air, clenching my fists. I couldn't go on at this in-between point. I was determined.

As I was about to take the first step away from there, ready to stop fantasizing about something that was never going to happen, his voice reached me.

“Wait! Y/N!”

Jinyoung didn't shout often, and the fact that he did so now took me by surprise. I turned instinctively, and before I could react, he was already in front of me, breathing in agitation from catching up to me so quickly.

“Jinyoung... What are you doing, why are you here?”

“Are you still going with them?”

His question surprised me a little.

Had he run that far to ask me that?

“What? What do you mean?”

“If Mark and Bambam keep telling you to go with them, will you?”

I stared at him, sensing that his question had a second meaning. I didn't mean it because of the way he said it or the context, but because, for the first time, his eyes were watching me and telling me what they had hidden so much, what caused that special gleam in them.

“I-I, uhm, I don't know, I think-”

“You don't have to go with them. Let's go together.”

His voice sounded firm, but there was something else in his tone: a silent plea, a truth that had been holding back too long.

I stood still, feeling my chest shrink with unexpected warmth. My mouth felt dry and all the words I had thought of at that moment had vanished, feeling lost in the intense gaze Jinyoung held.

“I don't want to keep watching you walk away” He whispered, with the intensity of one who has held on to something too long. “I don't want to keep walking behind you, waiting for you to turn around. I want you to stay. With me.”

The world seemed to stop.

I don't know if it was the way he said it, with that perfect mix of sweetness and conviction, or the way his gaze held me so securely, but I felt my heart stop for a second only to then beat harder.

Jinyoung didn't speak without thinking. And if he said something like that... it was because he really meant it.

“What are you talking about, Jinyoung? W-what? What about Jia?”

As soon as I mentioned the girl's name, it seemed that suddenly his face turned into confusion.

“What does she have to do with it?”

“Please Pepi, it's obvious. She's...”

I struggled to keep my gaze on his, feeling I wasn't strong enough to tell him, to admit what was obvious.

“She's everything you want. From head to toe she's your ideal girl, Jinyoung.”

He took a step forward, eliminating any space between us. My breath hitched as he brought his hand to my face, with the softness of someone who feared he might vanish at any moment. Our gazes reconnected almost instantly, leaving my heart rate to rise again.

“It's not, of course not.”

“Please don't deny it to make me feel better, I heard you.”

My teeth caught my bottom lip, holding back the urge to cry that was starting to grow in my body as I remembered that instant.

“I heard you that time, when Jaebeom asked you what your ideal type of girl was. You described her perfectly, out of your whole list of things, Jia was the spitting image.”

A laugh escaped the boy's lips, feeling that what he had just heard was the funniest thing anyone could have said to him.

“No, it's not true.”

Before I could respond anything, feeling offended at the uncharacteristic way he had called me a liar, he continued speaking.

“She was never my type.”

Jinyoung brought one of his hands to the back of his neck, ruffling his hair a little, as if gathering all the courage he had to finally let out everything he was holding back.

“I made up that list” He finally admitted, his voice laden with a mixture of frustration and something deeper. “Not because Jia was my type... but because if I said what I really liked, Jaebeom and BamBam would have noticed instantly.”

My eyes widened even more, hearing the loud gallop of my heart in my ears. My lips parted in shock.

“Realized? Realized what?”

His eyes bore into mine, serious and vulnerable at the same time.

“That the only person who fit my true description perfectly...was you.”

The air seemed to rush out of my lungs all at once.

“Do you know how many times I was asked that? How many times I wanted to say it?” He moistened his lips and shook his head softly. “But I couldn't. I didn't want them to know before you did...before I had the courage to tell you myself.”

My heart was pounding so hard I was sure he could hear it.

“But when they asked me that time...I panicked. I wasn't ready to admit it out loud, not in front of them, not when I didn't even know what you felt. So I made up a list. One different enough that no one would suspect... but generic enough that no one would ask any more questions.”

The truth of his words fell on me like a sure blow. Everything I had taken for granted, everything I had interpreted as fact, crumbled in the face of the confession Jinyoung was regaling me with.

And worst of all... I believed it.

Because there he stood, with his heart fully exposed, with those eyes that had never been as honest as they were in that instant.

“You were never part of my list, because if I said it out loud...everyone would have known it was always you.”

After his confession, the loud sound of my heartbeat and his erratic breathing was all that could be heard at that moment.

“It was always you ever since I met you, ever since I saw you in the elevator. The one that made my heart beat so hard it made me dizzy, the one that made me want to get to work early because then I could start my day seeing you, that made me repeat lunch...” He paused a little before he could smile sincerely, looking at me once more. “The one that made me leave my car at home just so I could walk her to the stop and have a little more time to talk.”

Small tears slid down my cheeks, the way the sincerity of his words had managed to not only alter my heart, but had also broken down every barrier I had built around him.

Jinyoung raised his hand cautiously, watching my face with concern at the sudden tears that were beginning to well up.

“What, why are you crying, did I say something wrong?”

I shook my head softly, trying to hide my own sobs between giggles, feeling a weight lift off my back.

“No, Jinyoungie... It was perfect.”

There was no sign or anything specific, we just knew.

Jinyoung tilted his face slightly, and the instant our breaths intertwined, I knew there was no turning back.

Our lips met in a desired kiss that seemed like it would never happen, as if we were both tasting the sensation, making sure this wasn't a dream. But instantly, the need to be closer enveloped us like an unstoppable current.

The feel of his hands around my waist was firm, seeking not to separate me from him until he decided for himself. A shiver ran down my back as the sweet taste of his breath mingled with mine, and I found myself losing myself in the sensation, in the warmth, in the fact that after all, he had always been there.

Slowly we parted, letting our breaths mingle and our foreheads meet, resting after that whirlwind of feelings we had just unleashed.

Jinyoung smiled, that soft, shy smile that always managed to make me forget everything else.

“Ewww, get a room!”

BamBam's familiar voice made us all jump out of the way, as if we'd been caught doing something forbidden. I felt my cheeks burn as I turned my head and was met with the most embarrassing scene possible: BamBam laughing uproariously, Mark leaning against the car with a knowing half-smile, and Jaebeom with his arms crossed, nodding approvingly.

“How did they...?” I asked in the direction of Jinyoung, who looked even more embarrassed than they did as he cheered us on.

“It's about time, were they planning to keep up that tension until retirement?” Mark's striking voice was next to interrupt the silence, who was fist-bumping with Jaebeom. “You owe me 20,000, Bam.”

“God! Hyung, really, just now? You ruin the moment.”

Instinctively, we both burst into laughter, feeling the tension and embarrassment completely melt away after that moment. Our gazes met once more, and as if the whole world came down to this instant, we kissed again and again under the cover of night.

I always thought I would never be the kind of girl that men liked.

Maybe it was because of my indelicate way of saying things or my innate ability to blurt out the worst comments at the wrong time. Maybe it was also due to my height, which used to surprise many, or the bland color of my hair, which didn't stand out at all.

But that night, as I felt Jinyoung's arms around me gently, his warm breath brushing against my skin and his gaze fixed on me as if I was the only thing that existed, I understood that everything I once thought about myself was meaningless.

Because for him, I was enough.

To him, my outrageous laugh, my sharp sarcasm, and my total inability to keep quiet when something bothered me were not flaws, but part of what he loved about me.

And as his lips met mine again, I knew I didn't need to be anyone else's ideal guy.

Because I was already his.

And that was more than enough.

lots of love, alme ୨ৎ

#park jinyoung #park jinyoung x you #pjy #jinyoung fanfic #jinyoung got7 #jinyoung #jinyoung x reader #got7 #got7 fanfic #got7 au #im jaebeom #mark tuan #jackson wang #choi youngjae #bambam #kim yugyeom #this is crazy to write but god i love jinyoung and i need this for survive #alme was here!

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marvelous-llama · 2 years ago

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GOT7 recs

most of the mentioned works is 18+ NSFW, MINORS DNI

tumblr is based on reblogs not likes, so please reblog and comment under works you like. Show love to the authors and appreciate their hard work

<<next chapters

pls don´t hesitate to hmu, if any of mentioned links doesn´t work or you have suggestions for more fics... thank you so much for all the love and comments

OT7

The Mafia by @inyournightmares97

The Inevitability of You by @yehet-me-up

Soulmate series by @fantastic-bby (Mark, Jaebeom, Jackson, Jinyoung, Youngjae, Bambam, Yugyeom)

Firework by @inyournightmares97

fake dating to real dating by @taexual (part 1, part 2)

one shots

Trust Issues by @jeonronwoo

Mark x gn!reader (wc - 1.7k) established relationship - angst, hurt/comfort

series

one shots

series

Suits by @bambikisss

Jaebeom x fem!reader (wc - 2.1k + 5.7k) strangers to lovers, CEO!reader, CEO!Jaebeom - fluff, smut, romance Being a CEO of a big company has its perks, except for meeting the one. After you sign up for a dating app for the elite 1 percent, you match with someone who is just as rich as you. Is love truly in the cards for you both? part 1, part 2

Through His Eyes by @prettywordsyouleft

Jaebeom x fem!reader - angst, romance, fluff, smut Losing your sight after your accident was traumatic, and Jaebum’s guilt of knowing it should have been him instead creates an intricate bond between you both, as you overcome adversity and try to find your way in life again.

Reconciliation by @prettywordsyouleft

Jaebeom x fem!reader exes to lovers, business AU - angst, fluff, smut, romance You had allowed yourself to be undervalued for too long, as a business partner and lover of Im Jaebum and so you left him for good. When you crossed paths again, not all was how you imagined it to be. Could you reconcile after all the pain?

one shots

nights like this by @babecoups

Jackson x fem!reader (wc - 2.8k) brother´s best friend, idiots to lovers - angst, smut, fluff You have the worst luck when it comes to relationships, but sometimes the right guy for you is the one you shouldn’t have feelings for in the first place.

Light On by @cas-skz

Jackson x fem!reader (wc - 1.8k) established relationship - fluff, smut Jackson returns home after traveling. To his surprise, you're waiting for him

series

one shots

Plot Twist by @kpopchangedme

Jinyoung x fem!reader (wc - 5.5k) enemies to lovers - angst, smut, fluff? Being locked up until tomorrow morning with your biggest rival in the Archery team might not be all bad after all...

Royal Flush by @bambikisss

Jinyoung x fem!reader (wc - 3.6k) friends to lovers, knight!Jinyoung, princess!reader - fluff, smut, angst Your best friend sneaks into your castle and keeps you company before he goes off to war, leading to feelings being revealed.

Making a Move by @milfgyuu

Jinyoung x fem!reader (wc - 2.7k) roommates, friends to lovers - humour, smut, fluff

series

Destined by @prettywordsyouleft

Jinyoung x fem!reader soulmates - angst, fluff, smut You craved meeting your soulmate, but you wished more than anything he could be your best friend, Mark. When Mark finally meets his soulmate, you get the chance to find yours and he’s not at all what you expected.

enough by @ahgaseda

Jinyoung x fem!reader mafia, exes to lovers - angst, smut to survive as a single woman in the big city, you resort to letting rich men pay for your company, but never anticipated that your first client would be the boy you once loved, Jinyoung.

The Trial Period by @prettywordsyouleft

Jinyoung x fem!reader enemies to lovers - angst, fluff, romance, suggestive When the perfect studio space comes up, you leap at the chance to take it. Except, so has Park Jinyoung, someone you have hated for the past three years. Given three months to share the space before deciding who will claim it, can you push Jinyoung out by the end of your trial period, or will you find that the tactics you both use leads to something unexpected?

one shots

Open Tab by @milfgyuu

Youngjae x fem!reader (wc - 5.1k) strangers to lovers - angst, fluff, smut, hurt/comfort A connection is made with a handsome bartender who offers you comfort, a slice of cheesecake, and so much more on your ruined evening.

The Seventh Wedding by @inyournightmares97

Youngjae x fem!reader (wc - 15k) strangers to lovers, mutual pining - fluff It took Choi Youngjae seven weddings to fall in love with you.

series

one shots

I Think I Love You by @milfgyuu

Bambam x fem!reader (wc - 2.1k) coworkers/friends to lovers - fluff, crack Bambam rescues you from the company party and makes a rooftop confession to you under the stars. It’s kind of magical.

series

one shots

oh my god, they were roommates by @babybirdgyeom

Yugyeom x reader (wc - 2.5k) roommates to lovers, mutual pining - fluff One night you couldn’t resist your roommate Yugyeom anymore and finally gave in.

series

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taegr0wls · 3 months ago

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CAN SOMEONE PLS RECOMMEND ME SOME YUGYEOM & CHANGKYUN FICS!!!! TYSM <333

#got7 yugyeom #kim yugyeom #monsta x changkyun #yugyeom smut #changkyun smut #got7 smut #got7 angst #got7 fluff #monsta x smut #monsta x fluff #monsta x angst #yugyeom x reader #changkyun x reader #im changkyun

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hwangyeonjun · 2 years ago

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since there were three people who had similar amount of votes, i made this last form so go vote!!! or else🔪

since i got a few more asks about having a love interest in the story i decided to make a google form for yall to decide where my story is going��

taglist: @angelwonie @sstarrysshit @nishmrriki @sol123recs @nichobins @anniebyanto @officiallyjaehyuns

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markie-baby · 2 days ago

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Thank You

☆Hey Babies☆

I'm feeling quite emotional today. It might just be my period starting soon, but I feel like a failure today and being nowhere but in my bed (┬┬﹏┬┬). Even on days like this, I find myself coming to Tumblr and being greeted by new followers and good feedback on my fics.

Thank you to everyone who's been showing me love on my fics. New and old. Especially on Match My Freak and Butt-Naked at the MGM. It's overwhelming sometimes. Just earlier this week, I was thinking about completely scrapping M.M.F. and starting over; I felt like it was maybe too long, and ambitious a project, and maybe too long of a story for people to follow along with. But recently, I've gotten a lot of love for it.

I appreciate it, and it helps my spirit during times like this. I am currently working on Chap. 2 of M.M.F. encouraging myself to make it just as long (if not longer than chapter 1). Idk, I just love long chapter releases.

Love y'all ~

#got7 #mark tuan #got7 mark #kpop #igot7 #got7 yugyeom #got7 jackson #got7 bambam #got7 youngjae #got7 jinyoung #kard bm #kpop smut #kpop fanfic #kpop x reader #kpop imagines #male idol smut #fanfic writer #writers on tumblr #matthew kim smut

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onewmin · 2 years ago

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the perfume on the shelf. pt. 11 | bangchan

Pairings: Bang Chan x Fem!reader, Kim Yugyeom x Fem!reader

Summary: Falling in love with your best friend was never a part of the plan. So you end it up. But does he want to put a stop to it, too?

Warnings: AU, mentions of verbal and physical abuse, descriptions of a toxic relationship, mentions of s*icidal thoughts, profanity, descritpion of a fire, the reader loves her cat very much, another day of the reader and Chan being annoying (the latter especially), jealousy, the reader is going through major changes (good for her), another bunch of Taylor Swift references, the reader has yet another traumatic experience; typos

In the parts with the cat it's very much self-inserted. Shout out to my cat and all other kitties and doggies <3

'Dal' stands for 'moon' :)

Word count: 5411

Author’s note: welp, there's a lot to read lol. Idk why this whole work lacks happy moments so much, I'm trying my best to make it more positive, but in the end... We get this lol. Still, hope you enjoy another part! I'll try posting part 12 in a couple of weeks, but, as my summer vacation is over, I'll have a lot of work to do, so I cannot promise you an exact date. Again, thank you fro reading and supporting 'the perfume on the shelf' and enjoy the ride! (put ya seatbelts on)

Disclaimer: the names and appearances of real people are used for inspiration and writing purposes only. I do not claim anything, everything belongs to its owners.

Part 10 | Part 12

Another day to cry in the bathroom of your therapist’s office.

Wiping your red cheeks, you took a deep breath in, trying to calm this sudden outburst of pain down. Talking about your unsuccessful attempt to go back together with Chan resurfaced in something deep, something that has affected you too much to even be able to handle it on your own. Your fear of rejection has finally become real - and instead of feeling calm after so many years of being scared of it, you found yourself utterly broken.

As long as you could remember yourself, this fear of being rejected has pressured you into staying out of the picture, of never saying what you truly feel. You were shaking at the thought of confessing to Yugyeom, when you were a teenager; your breath was hitched in your throat when you decided to join that writing club at university; the idea of asking anybody out made you sick to your stomach. And finally, all the mess with Chan was partially launched by your inability to ask direct questions, to come clean eventually. However, your initial choice was to live a lie, to let yourself have dust thrown into your eyes, to rather have smoke and mirrors than an honest relationship. What does this say about you?

“I don’t know”, you muttered, looking at the reflection in the mirror. “I don’t know”, you repeated, sniffing and exhaling once again. When you were nineteen, everything seemed so easy. When you were nineteen, you seemed to know everything.

“What would nineteen-year old you say about this whole situation?” Your therapist’s question was left unanswered, rather as introspection for the next two weeks. What would she say, really? That’s a walk in the park for her.

“Dump his ass”, the advice you used to give all of your girlfriends popped up in your head. “Find a new hobby, work more, go out more - do anything to forget him. He’s not worth your tears and time”. Easier said than done.

You sighed once again, before collecting your lip gloss back into your purse. It’s time to go home and prepare for going out; even though you try following your own advice, the thought of Chan is a lingering memory, a signature left right on your forever restless brain.

Running up the stairs on your subway station, you checked your messages to find Yugyeom and Eunjoo discussing art in the chat. Two weeks ago, after the airport incident, when Yugyeom was dropping you off at your apartment complex (the conversation with your parents about your early departure from the countryside was guided by Gyeom perfectly), Eunjoo caught the sight of the two of you while she was waiting for her best friend on the bench. For some reason she decided it would be a great idea to start going on ‘double dates’ - although, you could barely call them dates at all. She was unsure about her relationship with Minho, so she needed you to check up on him. You didn’t want to be the third wheel, so… So she invited Yugyeom. And now the four of you had a group chat. Was it a nightmare? Absolutely. You found out what nerds Gyeom and Eunjoo were; discussing everything - even rocket science, are you kidding me? - while you and Minho intervened in their intellectual conversations with memes and ridiculous videos to watch. For instance, when you sent a Tarot reading video, just for shits and giggles, just to send a follow up message, “This woman said I’m gonna have a billionaire husband in a couple of months” - only to get bashed by two absolute smartasses for your silly little hobby, as they threw in their pieces of mind on how Tarot is a scam, and it doesn’t work, and people like that woman are a fraud - et cetera, et cetera, blah-blah-blah. Minho, on the other hand, was pretty supportive (and a pain in the ass for Eunjoo and Yugyeom) when he sent in ten more videos of that same creator, chiming in with his comments about toxicity. Yeah, this chat was a shit show; however, it was bringing you too much joy to hate it.

In your apartment your cat greeted you with irritated meows and sweet purrs when you took her in your arms as if she was a baby. “Mama’s sorry, Gaeul”, you said, kissing her in between ears, “but I promise I’ll be back sooner than later. Just a couple of hours, okay?” She started gently biting your hand as you tried to scratch her tummy. “And you get to be the boss of the house. Not just for a few hours”, you kissed her nose and she put her paw on your cheek, “but forever, Gaeul”. She jumped from your arms as soon as you heard a loud stomp and a screeching curse - ugh, your neighbours were fighting again. How could a family that looks picture perfect hate each other so much? Well, you knew the answer to the question, but still, it never failed to arise every time you heard these two fight.

“You’re a piece of shit, Hajoon!” You sighed as you heard the man’s voice. “A piece of shit wife and mother!” This was the unfortunate reality-TV-turned-real-life program you had to listen to; the walls were rather thin not to hear them constantly fight over stupidest things in front of their little girls. When you saw the two of them ride their bikes and laugh, you always wondered, how they managed not to lose their innocence yet - with parents like theirs, who trapped themselves in a toxic marriage, the innocence of a child being saved was a miracle.

The drama continued as the woman cried out harsher curses, accusing her husband of cheating. Is that the life that awaits everyone in a marriage? Is that the life you’re going to have too? That’s what your parents have; constant fights, verbal abuse, toxic apologies with flowers and luxury candy, and no words uttered. No resolution of those conflicts, no rethinking of the life choices they’d made to get to this point of no return. Nothing. And this family, a family so similar to yours, was the same. Only the girls were lucky to have each other and not to be alone. However, calling the kids ‘lucky’ for lulling each other when their parents scream all types of insults, calling the children they created with ‘so much love and affection’, as the mother posted on her stories, ‘mistakes’ when they were in another room - calling them ‘lucky’ was a direct insult.

Accompanied by curses coming from a wall away from your living room, Gaeul was circling around you the whole time you were collecting your things. When you looked at the wrist watch, it was already ten minutes past the time you should have left the house. “Shit”, you mumbled, rapidly taking the bag in your hands and giving Gaeul a couple of more scratches, while she was meowing and standing in front of the door. “I’ll see you in a couple of hours, sweetie”.

You were supposed to be drinking as the four of you were going for some type of party one of Minho’s friends was throwing - so taking the car wasn’t an option; you didn’t know much about Changbin, but you were willing to get out of your shell and meet new people. “Maybe you’ll finally find a boyfriend there”, your mom told you over the phone, “you’ll be thirty soon - not really soon, though - and your father and I are waiting for grandkids. Your cousin is already a mother”. Ugh, yeah, whatever. Some nonsense that your mother confidently states is out of this world sometimes.

Running up to a bus stop, you conveniently saw your bus pull up; jumping in it, you paid for the ticket and sat down on one of the many empty places, staring out of the window. As the music took you to another dimension, your thoughts flew by, pictures of your mother nagging you about the prospect of marriage, Chan putting his arm over Micha’s shoulder, Gyeom stuffing his mouth with a sandwich in one bite, Eunjoo and Minho holding hands ran in your mind with a uncontrollably rapid speed. You were thinking about Chan less each day, the images of him being replaced by your friends, new people you met and surprising revelations you made about this world and, first of all, yourself.

Every bus ride that lasted more than twenty minutes - just like this one - got you hooked on rethinking and reflecting on every little thing that had ever happened to you. Sometimes it would be sappy, rainy autumn day like memories: Chan holding your hand while driving, bringing it to his lips to leave a small kiss on your knuckles every time the car stopped at the red light; you and him lying in bed, face to face, heart to heart, having those rare sincere conversations, filled with laughs and kisses. Whereas sometimes you’d lose yourself to cheerful moments, those July bright yellow afternoon days memories, with Yugyeom watching you chase after his golden retriever Dal; with you watching some happy kids fly kites while on a picnic with Eunjoo; with you writing your earliest stories in your old diary, sitting behind the desk in you sunlit childhood bedroom. The happiest that you were, in all of those memories you couldn’t even find the ghost of Chan; as if he had never existed in the most joyful moments of your life. As if - no, no ‘if’s’ - he had only brought you pain, and tears, and gut wrenching disgust towards your own self, towards the little girl, singing along the radio songs in her parents’ car, towards the fifteen year old girl, who wrote her stories on her old laptop and squealed after getting her first likes on the web, towards the woman you’d become. The woman who made stupid mistakes one after another, noticing but not seeing the pattern she had with every lover of hers, not seeing Chan being the same guy like the rest of them in her history. The woman you’d become, the woman you’re still thriving to be - she doesn’t deserve the slander you put her through.

There might have been happiness during him - his jokes, warm hugs, car rides to his parents’ country house, him playing with Gaeul, his voice, his soft curls, his late love confessions. But there would certainly be more happiness after him, after this whole mess you yourself created. No acid rains burning your cheeks anymore, no scratching yourself so much you start bleeding anymore, no gray colors during the brightest sunny summer mornings. Is this what the phase of acceptance looks like? Is this where you stop blaming Chan for the pain he caused you? Nah, you’re not there yet. But close. Definitely close.

Receiving another text in the group chat, your thoughts suddenly led you to the anxious search for your ID in the handbag of yours. “Shit, shit, shit”, you muttered under your breath, when you realized it was nowhere to be found. Did you lose it on your way to the bus stop? Or did you lose it here? Oh no. You rolled your eyes at the clear memory of seeing it on the kitchen counter before you rushed out of the apartment. How could you be so irresponsible? You’d never forgotten your ID, ever in your life, even taking it to the convenience store at 7AM to get a snack on your day off. And now, when you clearly needed it to get in the club, you’d left it at home? Super responsible, girl, just awesome.

Having jumped off the bus at the nearest stop, you caught yourself feeling absolutely shameless about the fact of being late. After you moved almost to the outskirts of the city, not being on time has become your signature mark. Now you were texting your friends, explaining the whole situation, while getting in an Uber - just to shorten the forty minutes you’d already spent on the bus to twenty-five. And as the car started off, your friends couldn’t leave you alone.

“Gyeom, I’m sorry”. The first words you said to him after picking up, annoyance recognizable in your voice. Yeah, you were the one being late, but Mr. Punctuality didn’t have to remind you about it as well.

“I’m actually late too”, he let out a breathy chuckle. What? Kim Yugyeom coming late?

“What happened?”

“Nothing”, he sighed, “I just spent too much time on the phone with my dad”. You hummed in response. “I can pick you up, by the way”, Yugyeom added.

“You don’t have to”.

“Ah, it’s not like I’m goin’ to be on time anyway”. The yippy notes in his voice made you reflect the smile he was probably wearing on his face. “So it’s not a problem, really”.

“Thanks, Gyeom”.

“I’ll be at your place in, uh, around ten minutes”. As you ended the conversation, you heard the siren sounds in the distance. It wasn’t an unordinary occasion: the song of the sirens was playing almost an unstoppable tune every minute of the day, as the ambulances were rushing through the busy streets, or the firemen were driving to stop the fires. It was not unusual for a city like Seoul; however, the closer you were getting to your apartment complex, the more the clump of fear inside your chest grew.

The first thing you saw when the car turned to your building was the blinding light of the fire truck. Then it was the group of firemen. After it was the crowd, surrounding the fire engine. The last thing was the smoke coming out of the apartment on the fifth floor. From the apartment right next to yours.

Jumping off the car, you rushed through the crowd, forcibly pushing apart the nosy neighbors and bystanders, only to be stopped by a firefighter. You couldn’t think of anything else, of other people, of the party you were late to, of the things in your apartment - the only image in your head was of Gaeul. How scared she must be, how she’s probably sitting in the corner of your room, far away from the strange and dangerous smell. The clouded vision of yours, the tears in your eyes were invisible to you. The only thing you needed was to get your baby out of there.

“Miss, you cannot go in there”, the voice of the firemen echoed in your ears.

“My cat’s in there”, you mumbled, but he heard you, “I need to get her out. It’s an apartment right next to that that’s burning”.

“We’ll get her out, no need to worry”. The calm notes in his voice had awoken some primal rage in you - how could he even say that? You couldn’t not worry, for fuck’s sake!

You quickly disappeared in the crowd so that the firefighter wouldn't recognise you if something was about to happen. There was an emergency exit, but they were probably evacuating people through it, right? What should you do to get in?

As the thoughts were rapidly running through your head, you saw smoke coming from another window. Your window now. Your heart sank; everything around started spinning slowly and you grabbed your chest in order to calm yourself down - at least, a little bit, at least, before you took Gaeul in your arms.

Fuck it. You hastened your steps through the crowd, away from the main entrance, in hopes to get lost amidst those being evacuated, in hopes to get through the emergency exit without being caught. In the inner yard of your building your restless, teary eyes noticed one fireman guarding the entrance; and over there, on the bench was your neighbour from the fourth floor, a fourteen year old, holding her brown dog close to her heart.

“Hello?” She picked up her phone, the shaky voice of hers bringing more blood to your already jolting heart. How smart it was to exchange numbers with her all those months ago.

“Could you distract that firefighter for me, please?” You uttered, while looking at her. She turned her head and found your eyes. “My cat’s still in there. I can’t… I can’t wait till they save her. Please”. The girl nodded and quickly rose up to her feet, probably coming up with an idea of taking the fireman’s attention.

She ran up to the man, still holding the dog in her arms, and started rambling something loudly, the hysteric condition of hers being the direct result of this horrible evening. “What was she up to?” You thought to yourself as you moved from a tree to a tree as fast as you could. “Was she walking her dog when the fire started? Was she at home?”

How convenient it was to have a bunch of trees to grow in the inner yard of the apartment building. “I should thank the managing lady after it”, you watched as the firefighter turned his back to the entrance - now. The adrenaline in your stomach felt like a fuel to the fire of anxiety and fear; as you leapt up the stairs, two, three steps missed, your heart was pumping somewhere in your throat, bringing the inevitable, horrible thoughts to your brain. You brushed them off before you reached your floor, running in the corridor, which was filled with smoke, with an empty head. The door to your apartment was being broken down as you ran up to it, right on time - maybe, the first time you were not late in the last couple of years. The firefighters weren’t pleased a resident was out in the dangerous area, but you quickly opened the door - having promised you’d let them in without getting inside yourself - breaking the recently made promise immediately when the lock was open, dropping the keys to the ground. If the building management had fixed the electronic locks on time, maybe the whole building wouldn’t have to use keys; maybe, the fire issue would have been resolved earlier, had the firemen had an easier access to the apartments.

Gray. Choking color gray - that's what your apartment was. You could get suffocated in here just for breathing in the smoke, but was it even a priority? You would die but get Gaeul out of this place.

“Gaeul!” Your voice came out quaking, eyes getting watery with every step you took. “Gaeul, baby!” Almost flying into your bedroom, you noticed her scratching the window in hopeless attempts to get out. “Baby, you’re safe”, you whispered, swooping her in your arms. She let out a weak meow as you covered her chubby face with a palm of your hand. The firefighter was quick to escort you from the apartment, having thrown a blanket from the couch over your shoulders. You wrapped Gaeul in it when you got to the hall; she was meowing as you ran down the stairs, telling you how scared she was. “I know, honey, I know”, you kept on repeating, “you’re safe now”.

The fresh air hit both of your faces abruptly, making you gasp and cough. Holding Gaeul as close to your heart as it was possible - perhaps, if you squeezed her tighter, she would be inserted in your heart directly - you sat down on the grass next to the girl with a dog sleeping on her lap.

“Is she okay?” You nodded, leaving a kiss between Gaeul’s brown ears. She started purring, exuding that velvety purring of hers that signaled of her finally feeling safe. After finding her in a pouring rain, as her dirty little paws left marks on your white hoodie and her squeaky voice notified you she wasn’t pleased with being carried by some stranger, after washing her up and taking her to the vet, after making sure she felt comfortable in every corner of any of the places where you lived, after teaching her to use the litter box, after buying her the most expensive and delicious food she liked, after having her sleep in between your legs every night since the first one she spent with you, after building up your whole life around her when you needed someone to give your unconditional love to, after having no suicidal thoughts the moment she took a step in your apartment, after having her as the only living creature who loved you unlimitedly - how could you sit and wait till they save her? How could you leave her little figure in the hands of fate?

“Mr. Choi set his apartment on fire”, the girl said while petting her dog. “That’s entirely his fault”.

“Tell me about it”, you mumbled.

“Why didn't the police do anything when they were called on them last week?” She questioned. “He literally threatened to burn the house down”. You shrugged your shoulders. No one really did anything when he threatened to jump off the window, no one took his threats seriously when he promised to burn the apartment if his wife got on his nerves again. Yeah, like it’s a reasonable excuse for a possible homicide. What a scumbag.

“He ran away though”. She sighed. “But they’ll find him in no time, I guess. Mrs. Choi said he broke his wrist trying to hit her, so he won’t be far away”. You nodded absentmindedly, eyes still focused on Gaeul. She already seemed peaceful, only her yellowish eyes still being completely overtaken by the dilated pupils. She was lying on your legs, covered by that blanket. “Isn’t it your phone buzzing?”

Oh, that was the annoying feeling in the pocket of your jeans. “Hello”. You responded in a monotonous voice.

“Where are you?” Yugyeom sounded panicked. “I’ve been calling you for the past ten minutes! Are you okay? Where are you?” He repeated. After muttering a few words you hung up, putting the phone on the grass. The autumn nights started to get chilly; but you were willing to stay seated on the cold ground as long as it took for Gaeul to fully calm down.

In mere seconds Yugyeom appeared in the inner yard, dashing to you. “Are you okay?” He observed you carefully, and then the gaze of his fell to Gaeul, curled up on your lap. “Are you okay, sweetling?”

“She ran into the building to save her cat”, your neighbor proudly proclaimed. Yugyeom gave a look - not the ‘Are you crazy?’ or ‘You’re insane’ one, but the look, striking as… Worry? Pain? Hurt? Love?

“I think the two of you need some warming up”. His soft voice impinged upon your indifference to everything but Gaeul; it seemed as if the part of you that was scared started to heal as soon as he helped you get on your feet. For the first time in the last half an hour you shivered under the cool wind, and Yugyeom took his zipper hoodie off to put it on your shoulders.

“You’re wearing a T-shirt”. You stated, looking at him. He gave you a small smile and shrugged his shoulders.

“I like the cold. I’m like Johnny Storm, y’know that”. You let out a breathy laugh - the first one after pulling up to the building. Your cat was already napping in your arms - the safest place for her, as it turned out - so you and Yugyeom slowly moved to his car.

The windows of your neighbors had ruined the whole front of the building - now the gaze of any person would fall on black frames around them. “I wonder if my landlady is here”. You said, when getting on the passenger seat.

“D’you want me to find her?”

“Gyeom, no”, you answered in a soft voice, ‘you’ve already done enough”. His brows knitted as he looked at you with utter confusion written all over his face.

“I didn’t do anything except for panicking and calling Minho and Eunjoo”, he noted, “and not like it’s hard to help you. Especially now”.

You gave in rather quickly. “Alright”.

“Give me her number, so I-”

“Just take my phone”, you shoved the device in his hands, “she doesn’t pick up if she doesn’t know the number”. He nodded before getting out of the car.

And as you were petting your sleepy cat, you felt the tears being finally let go from your eyes. Gaeul woke up when the salty drops fell on her side and, after staring at you for a couple seconds, started to licking herself up. You laughed through the choking tears and caressed her head and back, thinking how much your life had changed since the moment she magically appeared in it. It became… Brighter, funnier, sweeter. Even when she would wake you up at three AM ‘cause she was hungry; or when she would try to eat the yarn whenever you crocheted; or when she would sit on the kitchen counter while you were cooking. The thought of losing her made your heart hurt even more than it already was.

“We’ll be fine, right, baby?” You murmured when she started snoring quietly; you turned your head to look out of the window and noticed Gyeom in the distance, still talking with someone over the phone. A strange feeling of being absolutely safe around him had arisen in your chest the moment you saw his worried face tonight; maybe you shouldn’t push him away too hard - he’s one of the few people you can trust, after all.

Gyeom was right; he cannot certainly save you like he used to when you were kids. You can come up with a rescue plan yourself, like today, when you couldn’t wait for anyone else to save the most loved part of you. Anyone but you. Gyeom cannot save you; but he can give you the sense of comfort after you help yourself get back to life.

“Gaeul”, you muttered, “how long it’s been since we called him ‘Gyeom’?” A short version of his name, and he hated being called that. But when it came to you, his first love? He blushed whenever you said ‘Gyeom’. And why did you start calling him that again? Maybe that’s a sign, you thought to yourself, leaning your head back, maybe I do need him around.

“So you mean to tell me”, Jisung was talking with his mouth full, “that you and Micha are not together? What’s the point of bringing her here then?”

Chan let out a deep sigh. It was only a matter of time when Han found out. “We are together. But we just don’t like labeling it as a ‘relationship’ Just give us some more time”.

“ Are you kiddin’ me? It’s been two weeks, Chan!” He gnashed his teeth. “Every media outlet is calling me to confirm whether the two of you are together. What am I supposed to tell them?”

“That it’s none of their business”.

“It doesn't work anymore. Is she your girlfriend or not?”

“She is, technically”, Chris leaned in his chair, “we’re in an open relationship”. Jisung set his palms down flat on the table, the heavy breathing of his sending shivers down Chan’s spine. He loved riling his friend up, but sometimes he seemed to forget Han was also his manager. A scary one at times.

“I swear to God”, Jisung hissed, “I’m gonna kill you and replace you with another dude. No one will see a difference”. Chris chuckled and went back to his dinner, leaving Han’s question unanswered.

Him and Micha had a lot of history; but when he showed up at her door, drunk to the bone, she was more than shocked. He kept on complaining, crying about you, cursing you, proclaiming his love for you. Micha was impressed only by him being that emotional - nothing like that ever happened when they were together. A couple of days later one thing led to another and… Some time after that she was already packing her bags to go to Melbourne with him. Was it a smart, calculated decision? Absolutely not. But Chan, for whatever reason, promised to support her financially before she’d find a job there; alright, to be honest? He wanted to hurt you. To hurt you the same way your reconciliation with Yugyeom made him feel. Chan wanted to see you suffer as much as he did, to see you try to beg for him to come back to you. Spoiler alert: you never did.

Except for the airport incident. He almost caught the slightest glimpse of you, almost canceled his entire flight, almost called off all the business he had in Australia. If only he could delve into your features one more time, he would’ve put everyone aside. ‘Cause if you were there and he saw you, he wouldn’t need anything else. But he didn’t see you, so it was all settled as it was supposed to be.

Han was grumbling something under his breath while Chan was scrolling down the latest news; some of his friends had a comeback coming up, the other was starring in a new drama, the third proposed to his girlfriend… Everyone seemed to have their life put together but him. When he laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, Micha’s head resting on his arm, Chan would only think about a life he gave away. He could’ve been lying in his bed now, with his head snuggled into your neck, inhaling that sweet scent of yours right into his system. He could’ve been waking up to your leg lapped across his. He could’ve been with the woman he’s in love with, not the one he pretends to love. Micha doesn’t deserve this; but something tells him that she knows - just pretends not to notice.

‘Hey, doesn’t this house seem familiar to you?” Han shoved his phone right into Chan’s face; when his eyes could finally focus, he recognised the building immediately. “They report it’s been a fire, they’re still locating it”, Jisung continued, “and the guy who started it wanted to kill his family. What a piece of shit”.

The only thing Chan could see was smoke coming out from the apartment scarily close to yours. He was unable to forget the window of yours, the window he would always look up to just to see your smiley face. “Can I borrow your phone?”

Jisung swallowed his food, looking confused. “What for?”

“I need to call her”. Han rolled his eyes but obliged, lending the phone to his friend. Chan practically jumped from his seat, running from the second floor of the restaurant they were in to the street. Chan was aware of you blocking him everywhere; so he hoped you’d pick up if Han called. What was that logic? Why would you even pick up?

If the fire was still being located, how big is it? Were you home when it started? Were you not? Is Gaeul okay?

Long beeps only fueled his anxiety. Pick up, pick up, pick up. Please.

“Hello?” The voice on the other side of the phone wasn’t the silky one Chan was hoping to hear.

Chan asked for your name. Was it a cop? A firefighter? A doctor? “She’s okay, she wasn’t home when the fire broke out”.

“Who am I talkin’ to?”

“Kim Yugyeom. I’m a friend. You?”

Another tingling in his chest, every little blood cell of his running to his head, fueling his rage and pain, mixing them altogether. So, Yugyeom is there? After all of your claims he meant nothing to you?

“Hello?” Yugyeom asked once again. “Say your name at least, so that she’d know whom to call back”.

“Don’t you see the name on the screen?” Chan’s words came out harsher than he planned. “Sorry, whatever. Don’t tell her anything”. Chris hung up the phone and let out an exasperated sigh. Rubbing his face with his hands, Chan couldn’t even comprehend what he was feeling. Why was the mere thought of you and Yugyeom in the same space bringing him the worst pain of it all? It was jealousy. It was all the love he couldn’t properly give you resulting in that horrendous feeling of envy. The feeling that Yugyeom might give this love to you. The love that you deserve.

How long will he continue pining over you? Maybe he should just start paying more attention to his actual girlfriend rather than the dream woman of his?

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