#KillerCook

[thecaptainsdeck]

Hi Captain, just thought I'd check to see what your favourite Killer recipe is? Does he cook it often for you, or not as much as you'd hope? Is there a meal that reminds you of home that you make him ask him to do for you?

So many food related questions from your resident snail this morning. I hope you're having a wonderful day, Cap. 🖤🐌

Any Killer recipe is my favorite recipe, he's been my personal chef for 20 years. My favorite dish is steamed cabbage rolls and he'll make it as often as I want. A close second is his meathead burgers - legally, they're not over 5 pounds of meat, and I like it rare and bloody.

I don't talk about home so ask a new question.

Did you know that snails are also a recipe of his? Escargot - look it up. See you at dinner.

You called for me, Kid?

[swampstew]

Saw this cool end of year wrapped template and couldn't resist! Original created by @spicedrobot

My 2024 AO3 - This was a quiet but productive year, and I look forward to doing more self insert/oc fic work

[killercooksblog]

KillerCook Baking Challenge

Hey everyone ~ Killer here with another baking challenge. Now that fall is nearly upon us, I've cracked open a new pack of C I N N A M O N

The challenge: Add some spice to your life. That's the only requirement. Whether its a cinmmon roll, french toast, apple strudel, or soft baked cinnamon sugar pretzel, it matters not. Splash a dash of the good stuff and it'll be *chef's kiss* guaranteed!

To participate, you gotta submit a pic of your platter to my submissions or ask box by 3:00 PM EST Saturday, September 14th. Additionally, you need to submit a short summary of the flavor and why you chose to make it! Is it your fall comfort dish? A good luck charm? A way to welcome the season? An excuse to make the kitchen smell nice? Spill The Tea.

I'll be posting my comfort snack on Saturday and I'll hope you'll join me in baking! If you're here to eye the goods, I wouldn't blame you. Cinnamon is without a doubt, that bitch who leaves no crumbs.

[quinloki]

Oh my goodness happy birthday!! I hope you get big kisses from all your faves and a delicious birthday treat of your choosing!

<3 Thank you! I do enjoy an excess of smooches =3

Thanks to a good friend, I did kind of get a treat from Killer xD Since @swampstew was incredibly, delightfully, DELIRIOUSLY kind enough to have Killer make me a Death By Chocolate Cake in an episode of KillerCook ♥

Which, legit, if you have not read KillerCook I must simply recommend it. It is the perfectest Kid Pirates Tik Tok AU Vibe serial I have ever had the pleasure of reading and I am giddy to be friends with the INCREDIBLE mind that came up with it.

She feeds me. She feeds me so well. And she puts up with me too - riffing off this wonderful world she's created as I pine after *all* the characters <3

[punks-never-die205]

Thanks for responding to my previous rambles, really grateful with that!!!

This is an official battle of emotions between Killer AND transmasc old fashioned lover boy, who literally could charm anyone with his prises. Just imagine him seeing Killer’s face for the first time and being able to shoot absentmindedly such sweet thing as;

‘Your eyes… your eyes are like the ocean surrounding the shores from my hometown… cold, but so mesmerising, holding so many memories behind them, beautiful, truly breathtaking. Sparkling with secrets just like the sun among the waves, which tell a glimpse of stories bit by bit…’

Oh lawd… maybe drinking a coffee at late hour wasn’t THAT good?—

— 🐉🎍

I'm happy to answer any ask I'm thrown - even if I might not always answer them how folks expect.

Also goodness - if you haven't had the pleasure of @killercooksblog which is owned and operated by the deliriously talented @swampstew who wrote (is writing) the PHENOMENAL series KillerCook (which you should read), I think you need to do that.

Because it sounds to me like you could use some quality Killer time and Raven can meet your needs way better than me =D

[killercooksblog]

STAY OUT OF MY KITCHEN

.

Thank you @yamiyamiart for this sketch😘😘

now im not one to encourage misinformation. and the new google ai thing is apparently just going off of seemingly random internet results for queries. that being said. the best way to tell if a loaf of bread is finished is to stick your dick in it. are you hearing me? the best way to tell a loaf of bread is finished IS TO STICK YOUR DICK IN IT. I SAID THE BEST WAY TO TELL A LOAF OF BREAD IS FINISHED IS TO STICK YOUR DICK IN IT.

[shaanks]

Random but do you have any Eustass Kid fics that you like? I struggle to find ones where he's not written like an asshole (nsfw is okay too btw!) I also like kidkiller/kidlaw or character study/coming of age type ones or modern au...just anything please<3

Oh man, okay!!! :"D I know tryin to find stories where he's not written as like some kind of abusive shithead is like. hard as fuck. I feel very lucky to have stumbled on the little Kid Enjoyers community that I have, and I'll try to give you some good recs. Just as a disclaimer, a lot of what I read and engage with tends to be like nsft stuff, so that's going to be a lot of what's on the list. Also there is the possibility for spoilers for the current arc, I'm not sure where you are in your one piece journey alsedkjfasld

Okay, so:

@quinloki : Has pretty much my favorite characterization set for Kid of all time. They write mostly smut and op x reader stuff in both shortform and longform formats, and have a variety of faves, so if you like their style and have faves other than Kid there's more stuff in there too. c:

Some of my fave pieces of theirs are shorter ones, so they're good starters, I'll link em here, here and here . (the links are gonna open to punks-never-die205, that's one of their sideblogs)

@swampstew : Writes STUNNING work both short and longform, absolutely loves Kid, and if you like her writing she has a huge backlog of stories both on her blog and on her wattpad. A++++ 10/10, she also runs a blog and is writing a longer series for Killer, KillerCook, which is SO splendid.

She also does headcanon lists, a TON of events, and x reader things, I'll link some starter ones here, here, and here. (the last one is to an anthology of short stories and drabbles on her wattpad that is a ton of fun)

@standfucker : good GRACIOUS me, okay listen. Standfucker does it all. A+++ Kid characterization. Hot, well-balanced, well-written stories. They write for a bunch of characters and also do like, multiple people in a pairing/scenario stuff, and it's all phenomenal.

First one is one of my personal favorites, which involves all the Kid Pirate officers here. This is also one of my fave pieces, you get Kid all to yourself in this one here.

@wyvernslovecake : If you'd like something a little more crew-oriented and a little less x reader smut oriented, PLEASE I am begging you look into their Kid Pirates and Cross Guild little drabble posts with their character Shriek (who is the cutest little bat mink on the Grand Line), and the named characters Gabriel and Gryphon who are [spoiler characters for current arc] and adopted by the Cross Guild. Everything they write (and draw!!) is so delightful and fun, it will brighten up your day by AT LEAST tenfold.

Here, here, and here are some good examples <3.

@eustasssimp : She has a lot of like shorter form x reader and headcanon posts, and write Kid like the gruff secret softie he is. <3

Some examples here, here, and here.

@cyborg-franky : Again, he has a truly prodigious backlog of writing, so if you enjoy his Kid stuff and have other faves, you could truly spend hours and days enjoying some excellently written fun stuff here.

here, here, and here are some examples.

**

I am absolutely certain I'm forgetting people lmfao, my working memory is very bad and I'm nursing a concussion, but hopefully this gives you at least a bit of a start!! Everyone listed, and really everyone in this little section of the community, is lovely, sweet, and wildly talented. There's a lot of friendly open sharing 'round these parts, and I hope you find somewhere to land and enjoy the big guy too. If none of these does it for you, or if you'd like additional recs, just let me know and we'll figure something out.

Thank you so much for your lovely ask!!

[marleysfinest]

Oh, Muvva, I hope I'm not too late for the festivities! You deserve nothing but the best in light of such a stupendous tumblr milestone! 🥰🥰🥰

Now as to the shoutouts! Apologies on the length, I got a lot of love to get off my chest

@strawberrystepmom: Kendy, you are one of the kindest, sweetest, most gorgeous girly pops I have had the pleasure of interacting with!💖💖💖 Your daily messages and OOTDs always brighten my day, Pip is an adorable little man, and your anecdotes of Suguru and the Meow Meow Mansion are such a treat!

@quiveringdeer Nat, you queen among queens!🧡🧡🧡 You and Kendy both inspired me to take the plunge and make a tumblr! You're so nice and encouraging, I love hearing about your work with nature and seeing all your gorgeous paintings and crafts!

@shaanks Av, you beautiful tropical red-hairloving fish! 💕🐠 Your compassion knows no bounds, I love getting to chat with you about One Piece and movies and how our days have been going. I already liked Shanks before we met, but you've made me love him even more!

@majesticenbypancake Jaaaae, if I could carry you around with me in my pocket all day like a little gerbil and offer you biscuits to eat, I would! 😭💜💜💜 You light up my DMs with your jokes and stories and exquisite cosplays, and I have wept tears of both joy and agony from all the wonderful Killer songs you've sent me!

@mjrtaurus My fellow Crocodile enthusiast!!!! 🐊💕💕💕 Did you know that I giggle and kick my feet whenever I see you in my inbox? You have one of the best grasps of Crocodile's character and you're incredibly sweet!

@inzendino Whether it's Devil Fruit switch-ups, facts about other franchises, little What Ifs?, or fun prompts, you always keep my ask box supplied with some real gems and I thank you so very much for that! 🥰🥰🥰

@lycanthropemaul Maul, I hope you know that every time I see a ferret, a vintage plushie, a vintage plushie of a ferret, or Garfield, I think of you! You're so kind and gentle and I love talking critters with ya! And ofc the Pop and Punk pics! 🥹🥹🥹 Man, I wish tumblr had a ferret emoji

@preciousgaby Cross Guild lovers all the way!!! 💙💛💚 Ping-ponging ideas about these old men and their growing family with you brings me truckloads upon truckloads of serotonin!

@erwinswings You are one of the most knowledgeable herpetologists I know, on top of having some awesome OCs (shout-out to Fox and his legions of geckos!🦎🦎🦎🦎🦎🦎) and I always look forward to Zeke pics on my dash!

@quinloki On top of having some of the best Kid Pirate takes I've ever seen, you're such a kind soul and the fact that we are moots is something I'm incredibly grateful for. Also the puns. The PUNS! 👏👏👏

@swampstew RAVEEEEEN! Your versions of the Kid Pirates are sublime and funny and they have me barking like a wound-up terrier omg they so foine! 🥵🥵🥵 Rowena is the most badass witch to ever witch, KillerCook is delectable in every sense of the word, and I always look forward to watching the Kid shrine grow

@icy-spicy How does it feel to have the honor of #1 Shriek stan? 🦇🦇🦇 Getting to have the filthiest thoughts about Killer and Beckman and so many other fictional men with you is a dream come truuuuue!

And that's barely even half of all the friends and moots that I cherish so very much, but I know this ask is already running long. 😅

Happy 500, Muvva! Mwahmwahmwah! 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

cas u are never too late to share the luv!! 💓💓💓

spread the love with muvva’s feel good 500!

[softlilacmoonlight]

Texting Pick-Up Lines to Everybody (Headcannons)

(All conversations are texting, but for the sake of simplicity I am not going to change the sides of the text. Thanks!)

Lucifer:

(Y/N): I'm happy you fell from the Celestial Realm.

Luci: (Y/N)! (Angy Emoji)

(Y/N): Because you are Sinfully attractive.

Luci: I'll show you sinfully attractive.

(Y/N): I'm in danger...

Mammon:

(Y/N): Babe, I have the most priceless treasure in the entire world.

Mammon: Sweet baby! Think of all of da GRIMM~ WHERE YA AT!?

(Y/N): The most priceless treasure is you. :)

Mammon: O-Of c-c-course y-you'd think t-t-that! I'm the Great Mammon afterall!

Leviathan:

(Y/N): I watch Haikyu and you watch Haikyu.

Levi: Do you want 2 watch it 2gether?!

(Y/N): In conclusion, I want to date u.

Leviathan.exe has malfunctioned and will be unavailable for a half hour due to system and sensory failure.

Satan:

(Y/N): I have studied ,many things in my life and come out on top of it all.

Tantan: Of course, your intellect is very attractive kitten.

(Y/N): Never have I ever studied or enjoyed being on the top as I have done to you.

Tantan: Oh... I'll show you who will be on "top" tonight little kitten.

Asmodeus:

(Y/N): Darling, I'm tired of my nickname for you so I'm going to give you another one.

Azzy: What? But I like your nicknames for me ToT!

(Y/N): Your new nickname is "Mine" and I won't hesitate to pull it out in public.

Azzy: Sweetie, can you come to my room, I need a little assistance with something... interesting.

Beelzebub:

(Y/N): Beel, do you know how you make me feel?

Beelybabie: Make you feel... hungry?

(Y/N): When I'm with you I feel like a fat kid eating cake.

Beelybabie: I love you too... now I really want Barbatos's Devils Dark Chocolate Abyss Cake...

Belphegor:

(Y/N): I never thought I'd find the perfect pillow in my lifetime.

Sleepypessimist: Because you live such short lifespans?

(Y/N): Well, I never thought I would... till I found you.

Sleepypessimist: Just shut up and come snuggle me already.

Diavolo:

(Y/N): I never would have guessed it...

Dia: Guessed what?

(Y/N): That I would Royaly fall for you.

Dia: (Y/N), that's the sweetest and cheesiest thing I've ever been told.

Barbatos:

(Y/N): Do you want to know the best treat I've ever had?

Barbie: Of course, then I can make it for you whenever you'd like.

(Y/N): Your the best.

Barbie: Of course, now what's your favorite dish?

(Y/N): Barbs... literally you.

Barbie: I'm aware. Meet me in my room tonight and we'll discuss our favorite dishes while I eat mine.

(Y/N): Your favorite dish is?

Barbie: You.

Simeon:

(Y/N): I never thought I could kneel and bow my head so low in prayer before.

OhWiseTSLMaster: That's wonderful (Y/N)! I'm so happy that you feel that way about prayer.

(Y/N): 'Til I knelt before you.

OhWiseTSLMaster: Pardon my bluntness, but do you suppose Lucifer would let you stay over tonight? Luke and Solomon are in the Human Realm for the night, and I would be quite "lonely" on my own.

Solomon:

(Y/N): Did you cast a spell on me?

KillerCook: Not anytime recently, no?

(Y/N): Oh, well I could have sworn since I seem enchanted by you.

KillerCook: That was the cheesiest shit I've ever heard.

Luke:

(Y/N): Sugar, spice, and all things nice.

Preciousbaby: Ooh! What are you baking? Can I help you?

(Y/N): That's what little Luke's are made of.

Preciousbaby: (Y/N) <3.

Well, I DID IT! WOOO! Not a full fledged one-shot, but I hope you guys like it. (Sorry for the cringe. I am an introverted personality with an equally introverted boyfriend.)

[quinloki]

Don't mind if I do \o/

So far my favorite fic I've written is Birds of a Feather, which is a Marco x Reader story set in an alternative canon-ish AU for One Piece. Marco's a veterinarian, and things get steamy and dangerous while still be surprisingly sweet.

Second is Quicksand, a Crocodile x Reader fic where the most common comment I get is "I wasn't really a fan of Crocodile... until I read this." XD

Lastly, but not the least of which, is Family Ties, which effectively heralded my return to writing after ten years of not doing so. I had a lot of fun writing it, and while I haven't done another Doffy fic since, I do have plans for a part 2 ^_^

One of my favorite pieces that I didn't write is White Out by Tenzen, which is one Ao3, and also on @standfucker's blog here on tumblr (Christmas, read Rotation too, especially if you're a Kid Pirates fan).

Another fic that changed my DNA is KillerCook by @swampstew - it is a refreshing take on fic writing all around I and just ADORE it. It's also the only item on this list that's not explicit, so if you're in the mood for something satisfying but not spicy, check it out!

Fanfic writers!

Use this post to share some of your favorite fanfics you have written. Share the links so we can read and show you some love.

Fanfic readers! Share some of the fanfics you enjoyed reading, your favorite writers, or any fanfics that just make your day. Show our fanfic writers some much needed and deserved appreciation for all that they do for fandom!

[samanthalauzon]

Yup she can do it all folks! Not only am I a #KillerCook I can apply #DrywallCompound #Sand and #Paint! Whoot Whoot! #HandyWoman #HandyGirl #IgotThis (at Laval, Quebec)

[swampstew]

Raven, my friend ♥

Fic authors self rec! When you receive this, reply with up to five favorite fics you've written (include links, and if you want- a few thoughts about each one), then pass on to at least five other writers if you're up for it. Spread the self-love ✨

Dr. Quin, my evil partner in writing!!! Thank you so much for sending this thoughtful ask ~ cant wait to spam the others XD

5 fics I've written ->

What's the Magic Word? ~ Eustass Kid x OC ~ A03 | Wattpad, currently down but will be back up | Tumblr ~ This story was the first piece of smut I ever wrote for one piece, and eustass kid full stop. It's my passion project, my child, my dream, and my hope. It was the first time I got back into writing and its changed the trajectory of my life. Love always wins!

Turn Back Time ~ Eustass Kid x OC, Killer x OC ~ A03 | Wattpad | Tumblr ~ I tried SO HARD not to daydream this one but the need for Kid and Killer was too strong. So I made me and my bestie into the OCs, a pair of best friends for a pair of best friends :)

At First Sight ~ Eustass Kid x Reader x Killer ~ A03 | Wattpad | Tumblr ~ TBH this was my first stand alone story/collab that I joined in order to meet other One Piece enthusiasts. I'd say it worked :) What started as a kinky porn with no plot became a 10 chapter story full of mystery, twists, and turns!

Captain_Cumshot ~ Eustass Kid OnlyFans account ~ A03 | Wattpad | Tumblr ~ I whored him out and I'm not sorry about it. In fact, I'm gonna keep doing it. He's a real life slut and he's the content we deserve.

KillerCook ~ Kid Pirates, Killer, Kid, Wire and Heat ~ A03 | Wattpad | Tumblr ~ I wish these bastards were real, I just know they'd be so fucking cool to hang out with. They'd realistically would have been part of the Vine era that transcended to TikTok like everybody else. An account worth watching. The most comedic piece of work I've ever written, the most focused on all the crew members as individuals, and my absolute favorite thing to update when inspo hits.

Wuv you <3

[killercooksblog]

KillerCook's Blog

If you're looking for the blog of a serial TikTok chef and baker - you've come to the right place! Welcome to the original hell's kitchen. Behave and you won't be kicked from the establishment!

Recipe Book for AO3 🔪 Recipe Book for Wattpad

About the Chef

Basics: Killer / 27 / He/Him

I was never really insane except upon occasions when my heart was touched Edgar Allan Poe

Where am I located? In your heart

Likes: Pasta; Cooking & Baking; and Drumming

Dislikes: Udon Curry; Assholes; and Liars

Stats:

The Laws on Deck

Rules to know before engaging: Mun (aka SwampStew) is not using this blog to roleplay. This blog is designed to be part of the social media experience Killer would curate if he lived in a modern universe.

What's allowed: asking Killer any questions - so long as they're not inappropriate. Sending submissions of recipes you might want to see in a future story (not a guarantee). 18+ policy, no minors allowed. Only one Kiddo around these parts and you ain't him.

Not allowed: sexually explicit language or behavior towards Killer or mun. Chapter suggestions - the most I'll consider is recipes but not ideas of who or what to include in a chapter.

[quinloki]

Oh my god your response to the “who hurt you” ask with kid was just *chefs kiss* i could read a billion page fic just about that concept of Kid kicking some ass of someone who deserves it. I need to find more modern au kid fics because someone they always make me fall in love with him all over again!

I don't know as many modern Kid x readers as I'd like to, but!

Distraction by Lyndsyh on wattpad is very well done Link here (there's a one-shot epilogue to it Distraction: Don't Grow Up that's adorable)

@writing-yarn-goblin has a modern AU band setup for Kid and company called Hell Hath No Fury which you can find here I've not had time to read the entire thing yet, but I enjoyed what I got to before I lost a good chunk of free time.

Seeing Red by Ammo on wattpad is also a solid modern AU Kid x reader story - one of the first few stories I stumbled into that got me into wanting to write Reader stories. You can find it here.

KillerCook isn't strictly a Eustass Kid x Reader, but it is a Masterclass in entertaining episodic modern AU story-telling as far as I'm concerned, so I need to include it on this short list. You can find it on tumblr with @swampstew, Ao3 or Wattpad

Lastly, in case you haven't seen it, I should plug my own Kid x reader modern AU - A Light Touch. You can read it on tumblr, but I think it's easier/better on Ao3 or Wattpad personally.

Bon apple tits <3

[punks-never-die205]

Any head canons for the big four modern au? What their jobs are or if they went to college or even their fast food order? Idk anything you think of ☺️

Kid: I see him most often as the owner of a mechanic shop, usually alongside Killer, Heat and Wire. In the Grand Line Metro AU I have he's a prosthetic engineer, but also a pirate still. He'd be making bank with TikTok and/or OnlyFans though.

Killer: Either owning a shop alongside Kid, or having a TikTok that brings in money (thank you KillerCook and all the life you give me)

Heat and Wire: Working with Kid and/or Killer as applicable. I don't want to sound like they're not motivated on their own, but the two are more likely to provide support for the other two than anything else. They're good at it, and they have fun - and these four deserve to lift one another up as besties all across the worlds in my opinion.

[swampstew]

SwampStew Shenanigans

It sorta worked last month so here's hoping I commit again!

Stuff coming up:

May 1 - SwampStew Meme

May 3 - SwampStew Meme

May 4 - KillerCook Ask Box Dump

May 5 - KillerCook Chapter Update

May 9 - Something Something*

May 13 - SwampStew Meme

May 15 - SwampStew Meme

May 17 - SwampStew Meme

May 18 - KillerCook Ask Box Dump

May 19 - Something Something*

May 21 - What's the Magic Word? Chapter Update

May 23 - Something Something*

May 25 - KillerCook Ask Box Dump

May 27 - SwampStew Meme

May 28 - What's the Magic Word? Chapter Update

May 29 - SwampStew Meme

May 31 - SwampStew Meme

*The Something Somethings are completely random in length, trope, and au. Could be headcanons, could be drabbles, I won't know til I make it.

5/20/24 - I'm glad I did what I could but not gonna force myself to write if my heart isn't in it.