#Kilgharrah i would prob need to play keep away

[fluffypotatey]

I love equating dragons to cats (and cats to dragons) for Modern AU Merlin fics, however it is also equally funny to keep them as actual reptiles.

Like, imagine going out with this cute geek you met, and you get invited back to his place, totally casual, no pressure, and you accept because why not? He's sweet and funny and very earnest about the "no pressure" part, he just likes his own coffee better.

At his place, he asks if you would like to meet his pet, Kilgharrah, because "he loves meeting new people." Again, you agree. Why not? This is the best quasi-date you've had in months. Kilgharrah is a strange name for a dog, so you're expecting a cat, with smaller possibilities for a turtle or a bird.

And this motherfucker. Comes out. With a fucking. Monitor lizard. The size of a small child. It has a harness. It's on a leash.

-

Merlin stares at the now-empty space on his sofa, then at the slightly ajar door, then finally back at Kilgharrah. "They didn't even meet Aithusa," he says, dismayed.

(Aithusa is a 6 foot albino ball python.)

(This is the fifth date he's lost like this. Still hasn't figured out what went wrong.)

Kilgharrah flits his tongue in reptilian judgement.

for anyone who isn't aware what these reptiles look like exactly (me), we got Kilgharrah the Monitor lizard

and Aithusa our beloved python

LOOK AT HER <33333 WHAT A CUTIE 😍 YES YOU ARE

rip to those dates but i'd date Merlin the second i see Aithusa