#Kex hostel

[waitmyturtles]

THE MORNING AFTER: ONLY FRIENDS, EPISODE 9 EDITION -- SEX, RELIEF, HYPOCRISY, AND A MEDITATION FOR THE HOES

There's a lot to dig into, so let's git it. This episode was more complicated than it actually seemed on the surface -- THANKS, TOP.

@lurkingshan and @respectthepetty came OUTTA the GATES as soon as yesterday's episode dropped, swinging their chanclas at the hypocrisies that larded this episode. Shan read almost every last one of these motherfuckers for filth in her post, naming Atom (there goes my NeoTitle dreams already) for unfairly shaming Boston; Ray, for clearly cheating on Mew; and Sand, for equivocating Ray to Boston -- all while Boston is actually still clearly communicating his preferences to not date, despite people all around him judging him for the sex he has. RTP Senpai points out that Sand is pissed off at Top for stealing Sand's ex-boyfriend -- but that Sand full well knows that while he's sleeping with Ray, Ray was technically still dating Mew. So -- is Sand stealing Mew's boyfriend from Ray? Why, oh yes he is, and Sand ain't holding himself accountable for it, Big Boba Kanaphan Eyes.

Hypocrisy. It was the name of the game of this episode. Or.... was it? It was actually way more complicated than that.

Atom in particular, just like -- where's my chappal -- but let me get back to him in a sec. As the hypocrisies were starting to click in, I saw something else going on in this episode, an opposite to the hypocrisy. I saw some clear revelations, and a learning and leaning into love through the inexperienced eyes of Mew, as compared to the painfully experienced eyes of Yo.

The episode started with Mew waking up at the hostel, unaware of Top's behaviors after Mew passed out at the Halloween party. (Top, by the way, was just -- CHEF'S KISS -- drippingly condescending, hypocritical, and sneaky this episode. Force just laid it awl out. What a performance. More on this in a bit.) Mew parties with Yo, who is like, the friend we need the MOST in this series, and asks her about whether or not he SHOULD like Ray. And Yo has to remind Mew to check himself before he wrecks himself over any sense of obligation he may have to Ray.

Yo's starting to help Mew's thoughts tickle away from obligation to a reality of his heart. At least -- one reality.

I thought of this scene when we went on the camping trip with Sand and Nick, and we had, I think, the best scene in all of Only Friends so far (cc @wen-kexing-apologist and @lurkingshan who were very, VERY right) -- in Sand and Nick clicking into their moment where they're both single, they both real cute, and why don't we see if something's there? Because that happens among friends, sometimes, and if you don't try, you won't know, right? Especially in a queer friend community that will almost always be smaller than a het community, making love that much harder to find. So you might dibble and dabble with your friends here and there.

And they smooched, and they laughed, and they were like, this doesn't work, and they laughed more, and moved on. And they were just so mad cool about it.

The way that this particular line of engagement ended with two pairs -- with Sand and Nick finding clarity, and Ray and Mew together at the social services office and communicating, to confirm that Ray and Mew just would not work together -- was a kind of relief that I haven't experienced in Only Friends yet. The slight lift I got from seeing these considerations and interactions reminded me of how I felt when the tide of trauma began to turn in Bed Friend, where the second act of that series was just trauma pummel after trauma pummel -- how much more could Uea take, I wondered. As we saw, in this episode of Only Friends, clarity roll through SandNick and RayMew, I felt relieved that there was some closure, somewhere, among some of these individuals who had tried, even ever so briefly, to pair up.

But -- this being Only Friends, heh -- it was not only relief that I felt in this episode, but we also still saw a lot of sticky toxicity and hypocritical judgements.

Atom couldn't just leave Boston ALONE. As ever, Boston has communicated to his hook-up that he's not a dating guy, not a relationship guy. And Atom doesn't take the hint.

I love that at this point in the series, at episode 9, we STILL have people judging one-night stands as "awful." What a stark reminder of the ways in which people use judgements against sex to forever condemn those who choose to engage in casual sex.

After episode 6, I wrote a little about the phenomenon of having "feelings" after sex. Many, many people have a biological urge (or even a socially expectant urge) to care/have feelings for for the person they have slept with, whether they had sex after a one-night stand, a friends-with-benefits arrangement, sex in a relationship, etc. Others, like Boston, don't.

Either of these phenomena are okay and utterly normal -- as long as you're accountable to yourself for your feelings, and not placing on anyone else any obligation to respond to those feelings that are only emanating from you, yourself.

In other words: even if Atom had "feelings" for Boston after sex -- what is Boston's responsibility to respond in kind to those feelings?

Boston had the right answer to Atom here. Boston says to Atom: no one (meaning, me, Boston) asked you to care for me. And I'm not here to hold that caring for you. I don't owe you that, Atom. That's not what's assumed when two people have sex as casually as we did.

Compare this to Nick's farewell monologue to Boston (right before Boston is about to have a hook-up, oh my god, Nick). Nick had a thing to say about his feelings ("I like you, Boston, and I am sorry for everything I did, and I am going to move on from you"), he said his piece, and he moved on.

At first, I was CRINGING at what was happening, because I thought Nick would make an embarrassingly grand and dramaaaaatic farewell, of a kind that I saw many of my drunk girlfriends make to their exes at bars when I was in my 20s, all with an intent of making their exes feel guilty for the break-ups that had previously happened.

But Nick, in that moment, actually owned his feelings, despite the timing of the conversation. And we saw Boston respond, ready to approach Nick -- and Nick had bounced and moved on with Daddy Dan, right then and there.

What a MIRROR of behavior between Atom ("Boston, you owe me") and Nick ("I thought about this, and I'm going to end it, for your happiness and for mine"). While Boston and his reputation still remain as a kind of bottom standard for people who want to feel superior when they compare themselves to him (ex: Top, Ray, Sand), Boston himself is direct about his feelings, or lack thereof, and Nick demonstrated that he himself has moved on from equivocating about a feeling of like/love that at least, he thinks, is not there anymore. (Which, from Boston's eyes -- we know now is not the case, as Boston continues to give hints of regret.)

I gotta tell y'all something. I was a party girl, like this group of friends, in my 20s. And I was heavily judged for being a ho. The terms slut, ho, whore -- were all used to describe my behavior in dripping judgement that I wasn't, instead, seeking safe and Puritanical monogamy. I was having fun with and in sex, and I was very heavily judged for it. Maybe, in part, it was because some of my friends had a harder time finding sex? Perhaps. But because sex is so EASY to judge, based on the majority popular judgements against sex -- isn't it easier to roll with the tide, than to think outside of the box and to not judge someone for having casual sex?

While Boston's ho reputation precedes him -- it is a reputation based on an unfair, almost Puritanical judgement against sex, and against people who have sex. (Once again: hello, Khai.) I give major applause to the hoes in this episode of Only Friends. All while people around them are judging sex, and judging people like Boston for having sex: Boston and Nick are not hiding anything -- they are not trying to equivocate away their actions. Their own timing isn't right. Nick knows he's about to go and hit that with a new dude. But they both have clarity about what's happening inside of them at their given moments, and they've become better about communicating what's happening inside of them over the course of the series. It's yet to be seen if the timing will work out for Boston and Nick -- but they're inching towards a clearer line of openness than we've seen in the past.

So. While awwwwlllll of this is going on: Top continues to try to infuse himself in Mew's life. Man. THIS GUY.

Top? Shut the hell up. Condescending foo. And then showing up to invite yourself to accompany Mew's moms? All while Mew doesn't know that you crossed his boundaries the last episode? And that you recorded Ray smooching Sand? Stooping to the very same tactics that got you, Top, caught? AND YOU CALLED A BOOTY CALL? While trying to win back Mew?

And...... amazingly. For Top, it worked. Or at least, it was working for a second. Mew was reconsidering.

To me -- in my opinion -- Top's behavior seems conniving, sniveling, more about winning than about love. But he also knows that he still has a hook in Mew, and was pulling rapidly on the fishing line.

And Mew... Mew began to follow that fishing line again, showing up to Top's building, and hopping into that elevator, with another person that Top had on his hook. And, good lord, now with Mond (MOND!) in the mix, we're going to have ANOTHER dramatic pile-up next week.

God, for me, while there were these notes of relief in this episode, these moments of clarity among people like Sand, Nick, and Boston, I just, like, wanted to tear MY HAIR OUT when I saw Mew and Boeing both approach Top's door at the same time. What the fuck will happen next.

And while Top will try to convince Mew to stay with him, surely, in episode 10 -- Top will also continue to judge Boston to Mew, I am sure. Top will judge Ray. Top will try to "heal" and "protect" and "take care" of Mew.

Top, leveraging judgement against sex by others to build up his own supposed moral and ethical fabric, "taking care" of Mew and leading Mew to think that Top is still a viable candidate for dating -- Cheum even interprets Top's behavior at the Halloween party as "taking care" of Mew -- will it come crumbling down as Boeing the Ex shows up for a little boing-boing?

Dudes, I have no idea, because Top keeps catching breaks! For people at The Top -- that's so often how it works in society, no?

Like I said: this was a hella complicated episode. We have three more to go. This episode captured in a snapshot a group of gloriously imperfect people making equivocating decisions as they bumble along, minute by minute. SandNick and RayMew got CLARITY. Boston got CLARITY on his feelings for Nick. Cheum is getting CLARITY on her association with the hostel. Atom got CLARITY on where Boston stood. I don't know that we have CLARITY on SandRay yet, but.... I dunno, I'll let the capitalists at GMMTV decide that, ha.

Where we don't have clarity is now with Top and Mew, with Top acting clearly duplicitously, and how Mew is going to manage this latest fall-out. I have no idea if Boeing will serve as competition to Mew, if Boeing will be the lug nut in the polycule we're all dying for -- I have no idea. I just know that Top -- who purports himself to be above all moral judgement, winning the hearts and minds of at least two moms from out of town, wtf -- will face yet another challenge in winning Mew's heart that he likely has a stronger chance of winning, due to his station in life. Top was about to come out on Top in this episode, and I wouldn't be surprised if he hangs on for another playoff win next week. We shall see.

I'm tagging the Ephemerality Squad in permanent fury over the permanence of people judging sex, let's go! @ranchthoughts @chickenstrangers @twig-tea @distant-screaming @thatgirl4815 (THATGIRL WITH THE THEORY THAT BOEING MAY NOT BE THE EX THAT TOP AND SAND SHARE, OH SHIT!) @lurkingshan @neuroticbookworm @wen-kexing-apologist @clara-maybe-ontheroad @kayatoasted

[slayerkitty]

Only Friends: "Hot Take - Do Not Fuck Your Boss"

Credit to @chalkrevelations for the title, that part of your post made me giggle and pointed out an undercurrent of a theme that's running far in the background of the show.

Hot Take: DO NOT FUCK YOUR BOSS

We actually see this concept in four pairings on the show (sort of).

Starting with Sand and Ray (yeah, they did start as an employee/employer relationship). Ray was paying Sand to hang out with him. He paid Sand to drive him home that one time. Now, since episode two, when they slept together, based on Sand's "If I like you, I'll do it for free" line (paraphrasing), we can assume that Ray is no longer/hasn't paid him since. Essentially though, Sand fucked his boss and now look where he is. Ray still thinks he owns him, that Sand is a possession.

They've explored this with Top and Mew, too. Technically, the Fab Four are/were Top's bosses. They employed him (and are/were presumably paying him) to redesign the hostel for them. Top ends up sleeping with two of his bosses (Mew and Boston). He's actually manipulated into sex by his boss (Boston) and when the news gets out, Mew and Ray essentially fire Top. Boston, as one of the bosses, is loosely exiled from the group but not the project. Top is out of a job and a boyfriend (on the flip of this here, we know this is not Top's only job, he works with his dad at the hotel, but still).

We're also getting ready to see this with Daddy Dan (never calling him anything else, I don't make the rules) and Nick. Nick's been hired on for this project; Daddy Dan is super shifty that whole scene, blatantly coming on to Nick the whole time (whether that translation was supposed to be "Lick my ass" or "Kiss my ass" really doesn't matter, both amount to the same meaning here, lol). We all know this isn't going to end well for Nick. How we get there remains to be seen. Is this going to ruin Nick's chance for a career he wants? Will this fuck up his graduation chances? Will he end up with a sex tape on the internet (ngl, legit worried about this last one)?

The fourth couple this applies to is Yo and Plug. Yeah. So, their relationship has been subtle, playing out in the background and aside from their very pointed break up today, we haven't gotten much detail on them... or have we? In episode three, Plug and Yo talk about Plug being at the bar so much because he's a bartender. In episode 8, Plug says that Yo flirted with him for like a month before they got together. What that says to me is, Yo hired this guy has a bartender, thought he was cute and proceeded to PERSUE HER EMPLOYEE. Now, they're broken up. Does that mean Plug no longer has a job? Is Yo out an employee as well as a boyfriend?

It's an interesting exploration of power dynamics that a lot of shows, even ones that are office/work based BLs, don't quite seem to focus on the bad outcomes of. It's literally saying this is a bad thing, it can mess up your life.

So yes, hot take: do not fuck your boss.

Tagging the Ephemerality Squad: @lurkingshan, @waitmyturtles, @wen-kexing-apologist, @chickenstrangers, @ranchthoughts, @twig-tea, @clara-maybe-ontheroad, @distant-screaming

Apologies to anyone I forgot!

[nofatclips]

Ruins by aYia, live at Kex Hostel in Reykjavik during Iceland Airwaves 2018

[scentedinksandwhackedseals]

dude, i just watched a video of her playing it live that was so incredible. i love how she belts the last part, i’d never heard her do that with that song before.

24. what’s a song you cry to?

vessels by julien baker <3

[terramariquepotens]

Kex, Reykjavík 05/18

[nagaino]

[foreignobjecticus]

Just found this one on Youtube. Absolute highlight of my life - travelled to the other side of the world and showed up to this improptu 3pm gig at KEX with my sister (we are just behind the presenter when she moves but you really can’t see us).

Been listening to Sin Fang since be was Sin Fang Bous and had just released his first solo album.... Poi Rot was the first song I... found for myself? My first foray into music that wasn’t what was on radio or what my parents listened to, and 10 years later I got to see them live in Iceland.

It’s really not hit me until just now how exciting this actually was, and this will always be a real one of my fondest memories that I was very lucky to share with my sister.

In hindsight, I don’t remember any of the camera men being intrusive at all but this video is so well-edited - it really brings together the energy and movement of each artist exactly as they performed in real life and this rendition beats the studio versions hands down.

I got my sister to take a stupid picture of me wearing my Sin Fang beard shirt afterwards. What a week.

[kaleidoscopeluhvv]

Kex Hostel

Reykjavik, Iceland. 2017 // Contax G1, Portra 160

[bone-pain]

Hey when are we gonna address that bald Klemens was A Thing

[slayerkitty]

Only Friends End Cards and Chronology

I saw this post in the Only Friends tag and it made me wonder: Are the end cards with the characters chronological to the episode they're attached to? Since I'm tracking them as part of my observations into the narrative frameworks of the show, this is something I wanted to explore. So I went to check them out again.

I absolutely think @jenyifer is onto something with this. We put our heads together and looked at the end cards again; if you look at the clothes each character is wearing, the end cards are NOT chronological.

Episode 1: Mew

Mew is wearing the shirt he wears to the pool party at the hostel in episode 3 and that he has on at the beginning of episode 4 when Ray picks him up. We think this might be pre-pool party at the hostel, waiting for Top to pick him up. Maybe contemplating his relationship...

Episode 2 & 4: Ray

It's a bit hard to see, but we're pretty sure Ray is wearing the bowling shirt from episode 4. Our theory is this is post dropping Sand off with his bike and driving home, maybe thinking about him. Also, Ray is the only repeat so far and it's unclear why.

Episode 3: Nick

As @jenyifer pointed out, Nick is wearing the shirt from episode 5. We're like 90% sure this is the hostel. We don't think it's Sand and Nick's apartment. It's not Boston's house as far as we can tell. We're speculating that this occurs around the same time Mew calls Boston about having sex with Top - Boston is still at the hostel with Nick; we think Nick might be in the other room torturing himself with the sex audio. Then they go to Nick's and have cursed birthday party #1.

Episode 5: Sand

This one also seems to be post episode 4, after picking up his bike at the shop. This is the outfit Sand wore in the record store. Thinking about Ray, maybe?

Episode 6: Top

This one is difficult, LOL, because Top is naked and looks like he might be crying. Having said that, looking behind Top at the window, we do get context possibly - it looks like it's raining. We are tentatively placing this end card with episode 3 because that is the only episode where it has rained and Top would be upset about something. Top is in the bath, potentially crying over sleeping with Boston (which, if we're right, OUCH).

What this seems to mean, is at least so far, episodes 1, 2, and 6 have no correlating end card. It will be interesting to see if we get end cards that go back to those episodes. Episode 3 seems to have two (TopMew), and episode 4 has three (Sand and both of Ray's since Ray's are the same one). Episode 5 has just the one so far.

Tagging the Ephemerality Squad:  @lurkingshan, @waitmyturtles, @wen-kexing-apologist, @chickenstrangers, @ranchthoughts, @twig-tea, @clara-maybe-ontheroad, @distant-screaming

[king-tooth]

[ho-ku-o-five]

Iceland 19.01.17

[pixelina]

Samaris performing live at Kex Hostel in Reykjavik during Iceland Airwaves. Recorded November 3, 2016. Songs: T4NGLED R4VIN T3MPO Wanted 2 Say Black Lights

[aurora-daily]

Hello warriors! I’m a recent fan & have been going down the rabbit hole on youtube. There are so many Aurora videos & documentaries (I felt very emotional watching the HAIK one yesterday) - so I wondered if you had any favourite ones to recommend?

I’m a music therapist based in Edinburgh (Scotland) & am finding her music just so moving. It’s so emotive & healing isn’t it? Although I work with music everyday, as a way to help & connect with people, I don’t think I’ve ever listened to music that’s had this effect on me before. And it’s becoming clear that Aurora has this effect on everyone who hears her music. I wonder if there’s a space anywhere where people share their own versions of her music, or collaborate together on covers? Just some ideas I had. Sorry if this is too many questions, I’m not very good at the internet!

Really enjoying your page, keep it up! 🎶 Lissy

Hello, lovely warrior Lissy! ���☆✧

Your message really brightened up my evening, it's so great to see professionals seeing her music as a healing tool because it really is like a warm embrace from a person who heard you on things you went through and retold the story from such a persective so that you have a sparkle of hope and don't feel completely left out with your different maybe from majority feelings... There's this feeling of self-acceptance that only her music gives through being so complicated and multi-dimentional both lyrically and sonically, just like the essense of any person on this planet...

I'm really happy to see more people getting into her way of expressing her thoughts in music and resonating so much, really, you have so many great discoveries ahead! HAIK is indeed emotional, both performance and documentary part, it's defo on my top list! I recently was asked by anonymous warrior about my favourite live performances, and, the list will be the same (all titles are clickable and lead to the mentioned video!):

Nidarosdomen Christmas concert (church, orchestra, AURORA, what else to wish for, especially when Fredrik kicked off his best solo during My Universe), the Japan concert from the end of 2020 (acoustic renditions felt fresh), Somewhere Else Festival 2020 (lights! concept!), my all-time fave live Kex Hostel in Reykjavik during Iceland Airwaves 2018 (aka the first KEXP: the best sound, the best Gentle Earthquakes, the best Forgotten Love, Vetle doing his magic all overon synths), “A Touch of the Divine” (ART), Live at St Michaelis Church / Reeperbahn Festival Hamburg (no professional recordings but chills all over from A Different Kind of Human alone), VIERLIVE live stream with Bergen Philarmonic Orchestra (she has grown so incredibly much as a vocalist since Nidarosdomen), COP26 (a huge portion of love here goes to Fredrik Svabø), and NRK P3 September last year (Magnus is the best backing vocalist for her confirmed)!

As for documetaries... "Once Aurora" will answer ALL your questions regarding her personality, tour and usual life, it's one of the most unique documentaries I've ever seen and a must-check for you, please, don't hesitate to watch! It'd be also important (also to you as a professional!) to check out Lifekeys Talks interview with her: a good insight into her childhood, influences in life and reasons to create music! "Nothing is Eternal" was a good short early documentary which holds a special sentiment to me as one of the first things I've watched while getting into her world! Also really love her small guide into happy life for Glasto 2019, so simple and so AURORA! Also really recommend "Sounds Like A Plan"podcast for getting some wisdom from her and, goodness, there are so many insightful interviews with her and this is all just off the top of my head! Also I have a special tag for the interviews [link] with many posts I stumbled ipon and articles I archived here, so, please, take a look!

As for the space where people share their own versions of her music... A lot of people do that on Instagram mostly tagging her and sometimes on TikTok, happens on YouTube too! Sometimes AURORA France [link] shares some of their favourite covers of AURORA on Sundays! Several years ago even Melbourne Indie Voices performed onstage a cover of The Seed! Also would say that AURORA herself makes wonderful covers, she really makes them in such unique and her own way, always astonishing!

Hope to hear from you here, please, do share more about your discoveries!

Have a magical day!

-Nikol

[happyto-behere]

It’s this performance of vessels for me.