#KLAVIER TXT. ( some tides don't turn. some things never come back. )

[debtsunpaid]

new muse!

KLAVIER LUZ FURCHTBAR / JALLAKUNTILLIOKAN (vertigo-based oc / hellblazer comics) — over 40 (isn't sure), they/he, spanish-german, ex-astrophysicist, current engine of the fear machine, intended vessel for the revival of jallakuntilliokan. a drifter who lives their life half-in and half-out of the Dreaming after becoming psychically entangled with the fear god during its banishing, attempting to find a way to separate their consciousness from its looming eldritch presence before it takes full possession, rips open reality, and assumes its god-form. fc: daniel brühl.

vibe: solaris, moon, venom potential triggers: unreality, hallucinations, possession/body manipulation, body horror, backstory references to freezing to death & unwanted experimentation note: this is technically a dual muse. while my default for interactions is klavi, i am also willing & interested to write jalla being in (temporary) control of the body upon request.

exploring themes of:  a personal apocalypse,  the god problem,  wouldst thou like to live deliciously,  my skull runneth over,  is this hunger my own,  descent into bicameral mentality,  alien geometries,  go mad from the revelation,  there is something in your mind’s eye

[debtsunpaid]

@demidritch: we’re all someone’s monster. (for klavier?? :D) — PEARL STARTERS

the image that swims to mind is that of a lottery ticket: foil peeling away from the face of your worst fears, only for the jackpot to eventually be struck by a clown you haven't had nightmares about since you were young. the shuffling, squeaking disappointment as a clerk ushers out a monster to take home where its potential depth of terror won't be appreciated.

his laugh is strange to them, nervous and jangling with disuse; so is the way his hand flies to his mouth in reaction, as though anticipating a spill. a new habit, not well-liked. ( as though he isn't always sure of what will come out when they speak, anymore. )

' eh, yes. our own, more often than not. but that does not mean we cannot aspire to become something other once made aware of the fact, yes? or to — to stay far, from that someone, if we cannot. '

a blink: the world slips sickeningly sideways. the stars in joanne's eyes rake across his field of vision in astigmatic rays, searing through this temporary face; the new teeth budding through his palm ache with a rotten hunger that begs to leave black holes behind, illuminate themself from the inside with a fragment of cosmos vast — be SEEN by a being that has the potential to KNOW them. the Lindwurm twisting at the back of their brain, rending his perception out of shape to try and make space to speak for themself.

the sharp inhale is outside of his control, but closing their eyes against this swaying reality isn't; it's only palinopsia, of course, that places joanne as squarely and clearly within his line of sight as if his eyes were still open. he presses the hand-mouth hard into his opposing palm and squeezes until it's gone.

( who are they? what are they? )

' monster is a ... a strong word, i think. inherently biased. is one a monster because they behave monstrously, or because there is simply no other word for your difference in the world? what is monstrous behavior, in that regard? a-and is it more forgivable to be a monster if you become one, accidentally, or does the singular quality of monstrosity automatically transform every part of you — from action to intention? i can't, eh, decide which is worse, exactly: being forgiven for who you are, or being changed until that is all that you are. '

klavier pauses to review all that he's said, opening his eyes with a wince and looking down to avoid the burning brightness of joanne's. as it happens, the squirming uncertainty of social anxiety is almost as pervasive as the Lindwurm. ' not that i think you are ... well, not that either of us are. a monster. regardless of who we could be monstrous to. apologies, i think that i ... distinctly lack your gift for, eh, brevity. '

[debtsunpaid]

KLAVIER LUZ FURCHTBAR / JALLAKUNTILLIOKAN tag drop! klavi's song is 'we want war' by these new puritans, jalla's song is 'i am shell i am bone' by gazelle twin.