#KIM KITSURAGI SWEEP!!!!

[chikkou]

sorry to say being in love with Kim is forever. I last played de in 2020 and it still shows no signs of going away

he is actually one of the best written characters ive seen in ages. i love him more than anything and im mad at the developers for doing this to me

[disco-elysium-via-polls]

🎵 Instrument of Surrender

7. "SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL IS GOING TO HAPPEN"

CONCEPTUALIZATION - You've spoken. The wall will now silently repeat the message. For a decade or so, until the sea air degrades the paint, adding another layer of *detritus* to the city.

Item lost: Cindy's Brush

Item lost: Banged-Up Fuel Canister

Task complete: Add even more beauty to the wall

+10 XP

KIM KITSURAGI - "Very poetic." The lieutenant nods in appreciation -- it doesn't sound sincere. "Real poetry. Should we return to our murder investigation? I hear there's a really *bad* one we're supposed to solve."

This finished all our tasks in central Martinaise. Since we've *just* started today, let's deal with a few of the things we can quickly take care of in the Whirling.

🎵 Whirling-in-Rags, 8 AM

GARTE, THE CAFETERIA MANAGER - "Hey." He nods in greeting. "Was there something you needed?"

3. "Garte, I saw another *thing* at the Whirling..."

GARTE, THE CAFETERIA MANAGER - "Another thing -- great. I love those."

3. "I have to warn you -- I may have discovered that the Whirling is part of the Doomed Commercial Area."

GARTE, THE CAFETERIA MANAGER - "What?" He looks mildly startled. "Why would you say that? We're at a *completely* different address from that whole thing."

REACTION SPEED [Easy: Success] - So he knows of the Doomed Commercial Area. *And* its address. He's thought about this.

"Wait -- so you *know* of the curse!"

"The Whirling is listed on the intercom outside. As one of the businesses in Building B. You should get your wiring fixed -- I tried to call and couldn't reach you."

GARTE, THE CAFETERIA MANAGER - "Everyone *knows* of it."

"The Whirling is listed on the intercom outside. As one of the businesses in Building B. You should get your wiring fixed -- I tried to call and couldn't reach you."

GARTE, THE CAFETERIA MANAGER - "I've been working here for a *long* time, and that intercom has *never* been used by the Whirling."

"Hold on -- not once? Isn't that *already* a sign of decline?"

"The Whirling was once the East Delta Pinball Arcade, before it failed. It's only a matter of time before the Whirling fails too!"

"The Whirling was once the East Delta Pinball Arcade, which failed. Though perhaps the Whirling will *escape* the curse..."

GARTE, THE CAFETERIA MANAGER - "It's a *sign* of the Whirling-in-Rags not being part of the Doomed Commercial Area. If anything -- we're *revitalizing* this neighbourhood."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Relax, Mr. Garte. I'm sure there is no *Doom*. He simply wants to share his discoveries with you."

2. "The Whirling was once the East Delta Pinball Arcade, which failed. Though perhaps the Whirling will *escape* the curse..."

GARTE, THE CAFETERIA MANAGER - "Does this *look* like part of a *Doomed* Commercial Area?" He makes a sweeping gesture. "This pre-revolutionary tile work? These high ceilings? The nice rooms? Well, *most* of the rooms..."

"For 14 years, man -- that's how long I've worked here. I've kept this place up through hail and through sleet. Fuck me, if some Doom Ghost..." he steadies his voice.

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - He's done a fine job too. Though he's spoken of the place dismissively before, the hostel is actually very important to him.

"You really care about the Whirling, huh."

"Who *owns* this place?"

"What about those other cafeterias you manage?"

GARTE, THE CAFETERIA MANAGER - "Yeah." He sighs. "It's *slowly* growing on me again. It's beautiful, in its own way -- especially for this neighbourhood. I've been trying to keep it that way..."

"Even if it is part of the damn Doomed Commercial Area..."

"Aha! So you finally admit it?"

"You shouldn't be so worried about that label, you know."

GARTE, THE CAFETERIA MANAGER - "*I* don't place much stock in the curse and so on, but the label frightens the clientèle. Who wants to stay at a *doomed* hostel? Everything's doomed enough without that..."

Task complete: The doomed hostel?

+10 XP

2. "Who *owns* this place?"

GARTE, THE CAFETERIA MANAGER - "Some real estate management company. They never come around here, just collect money from afar. Honestly, I think *some* money laundering might be involved."

AUTHORITY [Medium: Success] - There is an acrimonious note. It's clear he's doing the real work around here.

3. "And who named it Whirling-in-Rags?"

GARTE, THE CAFETERIA MANAGER - "Well, it sure as hell wasn't the real estate company."

KIM KITSURAGI - "It was you?"

GARTE, THE CAFETERIA MANAGER - "You look surprised? What? It's a great name, I know. Cafeteria managers come up with great names too. It's from a song."

"A song?"

GARTE, THE CAFETERIA MANAGER - "*Hail Holy Queen* by The Etenniers. 'Hail holy queen of the sea,'" he quotes. "'You're whirling in rags -- you're vast and you're sad."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Good pick," the lieutenant nods.

4. "What about those other cafeterias you manage?"

GARTE, THE CAFETERIA MANAGER - "What about them?" He shrugs. "One is a basement dive frequented by chain-smoking communists. I can't *tell* you how sick I am of Kras Mazov and Ignus Nilsen and all those old ghosts..."

REACTION SPEED [Easy: Success] - He's hesitating, not sure if he should share this information with you. Encourage him.

"And the others?"

He doesn't have to tell you anything he doesn't want to.

GARTE, THE CAFETERIA MANAGER - "The *other* is a kebab cart. It's very *successful* in its way, but... it's nothing like the Whirling."

5. "Well -- good luck to you with this place then." (Conclude.) 6. "Well -- too bad it's all doomed then." (Conclude.)

GARTE, THE CAFETERIA MANAGER - "Luck has got nothing to do with it." He looks to where the hidden room is. "I need to think about where I'm gonna place those pinballs -- I have a feeling they're gonna help."

RHETORIC [Medium: Success] - Against the Doom, it's implied.

GARTE, THE CAFETERIA MANAGER - "So if you didn't have anything else to tell me -- about my establishment -- can we, you know, wrap it up?"

Sure.

MORELL, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST - "Hello, officer! I think I almost have it! A new trap design, that is! I know you're sceptical, but I have a good feeling about this."

"I had a chat with this kid, Cuno. He promised to stop stealing the locusts."

MORELL, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST - "So it *was* just a child..." He purses his lips, crestfallen.

LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - "Thank you for telling us, sweetie." She turns to smile gently up at her husband. "This is good news, right? It means we can try *again*."

Task complete: The Missing Insects Case

+30 XP

Level up!

DRAMA [Medium: Success] - She acts chipper, but something's changed in her tone. A hidden worry.

VOLITION [Easy: Success] - Something is secretly gnawing at her confidence. It's not this Cuno kid, or the missing locusts, it's something else.

MORELL, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST - "Yes, you're right. We just need to restock the empty trap. Then we'll need to inspect the traps one more time, and then *maybe*... we can..."

The ageing cryptozoologist breaks into a hideous coughing fit.

COMPOSURE [Medium: Success] - He has a 38 degree fever. His resilience has given way.

LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - She looks at him with tender concern. "Darling, I told you to take it easy. You're getting sick. Maybe it's time to go home?"

MORELL, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST - "You're right, you're right..." He breathes carefully, not to start coughing again. "We can come back next season... when it's warmer..."

AUTHORITY [Medium: Success] - There won't be a next season. Not for this. Find the phasmid or admit defeat, people.

"Man, I'm really feeling this is costing me time on my main investigation..."

"I'd offer to help, but I have my own things to do." (Refuse.)

"It's not worth risking your health. You should call it a day and go home." (Refuse.)

"Damnit, maybe I can still restock the trap for you?" (Accept.)

"We've come too far to quit. I'm gonna restock the trap. Lets *do* this." (Accept enthusiastically.)

LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - "Of course, sweetie, you've helped us so much already. Everyone would understand if you..."

3. "Damnit, maybe I can still restock the trap for you?" (Accept.)

We have *some* time.

KIM KITSURAGI - "You *can*?" The lieutenant makes a show of suppressing a sigh. "Fine. It's better than having these people get pneumonia on the coast, but after *this*..."

DRAMA [Medium: Success] He wants to see this tale through as much as *you*. Otherwise he'd have stopped this already. But he *cannot* let it drag out after this.

MORELL, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST - "Really, it's too much, officer..." He starts coughing again.

New Task: Find the Insulindian Phasmid

LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - "What Morell means is, we're grateful for your help." She nods to her husband.

MORELL, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST - "Here's a fresh batch of locusts. They should slide right down the funnel. And thank you again. We will definitely mention you, should this lead to a discovery. I'm not talking co-discovery, of course, but..."

Item gained: Box with Locusts

ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Easy: Success] - Wow! Co-discovery? You'd be famous. You'd show them all. This *does* tingle the pleasure centre...

AUTHORITY [Easy: Success] - This would *show* them all. We need to get you on that list of discoverers, no question about that.

5. "I'll get going." [Leave.]

BOX WITH LOCUSTS

A cardboard box with several rows of little holes in the lid. Though at first glance the box seems perfectly ordinary, upon closer examination, it's obvious that it has been prepared with great care.

Now that it's daytime, we can enter our room again.

EMPATHY - Kim also tries *not* to look at the pile of tape viscera on the carpet. Or the weird suitcase on the hat rack. Or the potted plant dying in the corner. But it's all just too morbid to ignore.

SAVOIR FAIRE [Easy: Success] - The man is finding it hard not to trip on the tape -- and not to send any of the bottles rolling across the floor...

ENDURANCE [Easy: Success] - ...where unidentifiable sludge makes it hard for him to breathe. Smells of vomit in here.

"You're looking at the destruction?"

"I'm sorry for… this."

"I did it -- my way."

"Got my own little Co Hoi here."

"This is where *the magic* happens."

Say nothing. Nod stoically.

KIM KITSURAGI - He nods.

[mellohirust]

TAGGED BY @asexualstellar THANK YOUUUU :3 THIS IS SO FUN. I'm not including the Obvious Choices that people followed me for cause they'd sweep and that's not fun. If you don't know anyone choose based on vibes

open tag because i never remember who does/doesnt wanna be tagged in these things ToT

[yousaydisco]

Fairytale AU

(because it's always fun to imagine your fave characters as pretty princesses uwu)

Once upon a time, in a land far away, there was . . . an alcoholic. His name was Harry, and he was a talented, intelligent man who lived alone in a fish shack. Everyone in the village seemed to know him, and generally, he was well-liked, but they all agreed that he was an alcoholic who could as easily sweep you up in a charismatic storm as he could accidentally hurt you.

Also in the village there was someone only known as 'Disco King', though the only land he ruled was the dancefloor. He was sauve, put-together, fashionable, and mysterious. So mysterious that no one knows anything else about him besides that he loves disco and to dance, but when he shows up everyone is estastic. He knows how to have a good time.

One day the people of the village heard that Prince Kitsuragi, the most composed Prince in all the lands, is hosting a ball. It's a truly special occasion since he is not a prince known for enjoying the spotlight and everyone got very excited. What a rare opportunity to be seen by the prince!

Well, everyone except Harry. When asked if he planned to attend the ball, he would just smile and wave it off. "As if I have the ability to impress a Prince."

His closest friend, Jean, would scowl and say "Good idea, we don't need him to think we're all like you" and the other villagers would silently think "ouch! kind of harsh. . ." but agree, in the end.

The night of the ball, however, when Harry was left alone in his shack, he got a visit from his fairy god mother. In her golden wreath and white hair, lungs glowing so bright that Harry could barely see, she left him an outfit meant to truly impress a prince.

But it's Harry so at first he said it wasn't disco enough, and she sighed and changed it slightly. Only then did he say thank you to his fairy god mother and put on a new, crisp, silver-y white disco suit and boots that sparkle like a disco ball.

She also turned a pumpkin into a shiny Motor Carriage that would help him drive up to the ball in style. The only motherfucker in the whole land not arriving by horseback, fuck yeah, cool guy.

His fairy godmother told him that it would all be reversed at midnight, which honestly kind of sucked because the best parties don't get their groove on until three in the morning, but he can dig it. He will just have to bust out his moves as SOON as he gets there.

The Disco King's arrival to the ball was announced by the roar of the engine and that caused many people to rush outside and see what was happening. This too, included Prince Kitsuragi. When they saw it was The Disco King most everyone felt happy that the party was going to be fun, but they did not linger and instead went back inside for the party. They knew his antics, they did not need to wait and watch.

The Prince, however, did not know. And he was silently intrigued.

He was still standing outside when The Disco King got out and approached the castle. Prince Kitsuragi was very interested in the motor carriage and he thought one question couldn't hurt, he could just ask the one and then return to oversee the ball. But one question turned into another, and that turned into several more.

He never got back to his ball. The Disco King never even entered the castle.

The two of them stood at the top of the steps for the rest of the night and talked. The Disco King felt slightly disappointed that he wasn't able to impress the prince with his dance moves, but he found him so dang cool that it almost didn't matter. He liked talking about the Magic Motor Carriage. He liked asking the prince questions. He really liked it when he learned his name was Kim and that he had some un-princely habits. Like how he didn't care for riding on horseback and how he snuck one cigarette a day when he was not being watched by his guards.

Prince Kim, who had never considered himself all that cool, was quietly enamored.

The Disco King was enjoying the conversation so much that he almost didn't notice when the clock had struck midnight. Quick as he can, he fell headfirst down the stairs hard enough to knock his glittery disco boots off, and drove him before the concussion could sink in.

The next day the prince was back in the village and was trying to find the rightful owner of the disco boots. No one in the village could tell him where The Disco King lives, since they only know about him when he arrives at a party, but there was a unanimous agreement that the only other person that liked disco enough to possibly know where The King lived, it would probably be Harry. Though no one wanted to tell the prince where Harry was, for fear that it will damage their reputation as a village if he ever learns about him.

Eventually the prince found Jean, who sighed, and agreed to lead him to Harry.

When Prince Kim saw Harry, he was a mess. His bell bottoms were stained and ripped, his jacket had holes, his tie was horrible and for some reason he was wearing a mesh shirt in the freezing weather. When he tried on the disco boots he did not transform, he did not change, but Prince Kim was still sure that this was the same Disco King that he talked all night with.

Harry said "I don't get it, I didn't even impress you last night and now look at me. I'm terrible. Why did you find me?"

The Prince just said "I don't care that you're a mess, I liked talking to you."

And then they lived happily ever after, thank you.

[revacholsidetournament]

welcome to the DISCO ELYSIUM SIDE CHARACTER TOURNAMENT

disco elysium has a lot of side characters. like a lot. but WHO WILL BE TUMBLR'S FAVORITE?

A "side character" for the purposes of this bracket is any character who is not 1. central to the main murder mystery or 2. central to Harry's character. This means that the following characters will NOT be eligible (spoilers!): Harry DuBois, Kim Kitsuragi, Ellis Kortenaer, Klaasje Amandou, Iosef Lilianovich Dros, Evrart Claire, Joyce Messier, Cuno, Jean Vicquemare, and Dora Ingerlund. Historical figures have also been excluded, so sorry, no Kras Mazov sweep.

PRELIMINARY VOTING WILL BEGIN IN ONE HOUR! (5pm EST, JUNE 11th) MAY THE BEST SIDE CHARACTER WIN!

[mewdivorce]

kim kitsuragi is once again sweeping my notes

[ysolt]

i thought kim kitsuragi was the main character with the way ppl on tumblr talk about him

no i get it. kim sweep

[roaminromans]

Thank you all for surviving the white Kim kitsuragi sweep

[dentpx]

Day Four Recap

category: i want to be your best friend Munkustrap vs Ellis Makoto Niijima vs Kim Kitsuragi C-3PO vs Evie Robbie Rotten vs Pinkie Pie Merlin Emrys vs Mr. Mistoffelees Neito Monoma vs Ryuji Sakamoto <- this is messed up and evil Miss Piggy vs Anne Marie Cheese Sandwich vs Burgerpants Kiyotaka Ishimaru vs Brick vs Tenya Iida

category: i would want to get you therapy if what was wrong with you wasn't hilarious Cicero vs Oliver Thredson Stu and Billy vs Hajime and Komaeda <- congrats to our first tie! gay love wins

Biggest Sweep: Cicero beat Oliver Thredson with 89%. I honestly expected this Oliver was never going past round one but he's so strange he deserved a mention. Closest Poll: Hajime and Komaeda TIED with Stu and Billy at 50% each Most Votes: Monoma vs Ryuji with 167 votes and I'm literally so mad about it like he didnt even just lose he lost everything Fewest Votes: Merlin Emrys vs Mr. Mistoffelees with 42 votes Biggest Personal Disappointment: Monoma should not have went home. It's on me because I should have put him against a more obscure character. He probably could have won against Anne Marie. But you know I try to match based on what makes sense to me and it was right to put Anne Marie next to Miss Piggy. I'm just sad to see such an iconic beloved character to me be voted out so early. and by literally such a huge margin. when i typed this it was 30% to 70%. at time of death it was 29%. i'm heartbroken right now.

Vote on the day five polls here. I guess. it's hard to bring myself to care after such a tragic outcome.

[crinsgoblin]

KIM KITSURAGI SWEEP

ROUND FOUR, WINNERS SEMIFINALS, MATCH TWO

[disco-elysium-via-polls]

"Disco Inferno!" (Press the button.)

+5 XP

+1 Superstar Cop

MEASUREHEAD - As you slam your fist on the button the man collapses entirely, his head rolling to the side...

MEASUREHEAD'S BABE - "Looks like you're the new Measurehead now."

SUGGESTION [Easy: Success] - Her voice is surprisingly calm.

KIM KITSURAGI - "No one is the new Measurehead -- let's go. Before he gets up..." The lieutenant makes haste toward the door.

+1 Reputation

We can now enter the harbour.

The door is locked and cannot be opened from this side without a pass card.

Guess you have no choice but to talk to the Union leader.

*EVERY WORKER - MEMBER OF THE BOARD* is written at the top of the flyers.

And at the bottom: the Union logo and *DEMAND DEMOCRACY*!

This is a *Dewy* typewriter -- the model name is on the back.

A standard office file cabinet. The drawers seem to be locked.

Someone left the coffee machine on.

The dark liquid in the pot looks almost sentient.

POSTCARD "LE JARDIN '21"

This laminated post card offers a glimpse across the river. A little more than a decade after the war, the eastern bank is already fully renovated. The hillsides are lush with gardens and residences, someone's parked a small beige airship by the fountain. This postcard will sell for a pretty penny.

NEAT OFFICE SHADES

+1 Visual Calculus: Eye of the reckoner -1 Drama: A bit dry

These were stuffed away in the Dockworker's Union office. They're perfect for scribbling down paperwork when the sun tries to get in your eye. Good for staring down suspects too.

There's also a Magnesium in here.

FILE CABINET - On second glance, someone has forgotten to properly close one of the drawers.

KIM KITSURAGI - "It's *unfortunate* for the Union to just leave their paperwork lying around like this..."

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Easy: Success] - ...let's see what's inside, he thinks.

Open the drawer.

Ignore the drawer for now. [Leave.]

FILE CABINET - The drawer opens smoothly. Inside is a well-organized selection of brown folders.

Browse through the folders.

Close the drawer. [Leave.]

FILE CABINET - Hundreds of documents containing logistical data. Two kinds of transactions stand out: materials coming into Revachol from the outside world -- from Mundi, Graad, and even Iilmaraa...

...and the same materials being handed over to companies inside Revachol. Couron, Coal City, La Delta, and Jamrock are listed among the many districts where the imports are being sold.

Anything interesting? (Browse them.)

FILE CABINET - It's hard to make sense of this thicket of company names, dates, quantities, and percentages. You try to focus, but the lines are getting blurry...

2. [Volition - Medium 10] Force yourself to go through the folders.

VOLITION [Medium: Success] - Whatever's hidden here is hidden well. Concentration isn't enough, only a trained accountant, with a background in logistics, would be able to *really* make sense of it. However there *is* a little hand-written note, stuck on the side of the drawer.

Look at the note.

"Never mind the note." (Close the drawer.)

FILE CABINET - It appears to be a to-do list written in large, uneven capital letters:

REMEMBER, LEO!

* EVRART'S SHOES * SPECIAL WHIRLING BORSCHT * WATER EVRART'S PLANTS * SWEEP OFFICE FLOOR * MORE BANNERS

All items on the list have been crossed out and the note itself is crumpled.

(Turn to the lieutenant.) "Look, Kim, a to-do note with a list of errands for *Evrart*."

Ignore the note.

KIM KITSURAGI - "Evrart Claire, probably -- the head of the Débardeurs' Union." He inspects the note. "One of his aides must have left it. Nothing incriminating here."

+5 XP

3. Close the drawer. [Leave.]

FILE CABINET - The drawer slides shut smoothly.

THOUGHT COMPLETE: COL DO MA MA DAQUA

BONUSES: +3 Perception: Golden ear -1 Encyclopedia: No room for anything else

It's not only your eardrums that register sound anymore – your very skin has become an organ of hearing. Looking for a whisper light and low, a god who’s very, very silent. Nothing escapes you – a cockroach in the other room, a candy wrapper falling on dry grass, a drunk falling from a chair in a bar 20 metres away. In fact, you haven’t heard the Col Do Ma Ma Daqua, but you *have* discovered that you have amazing hearing. It must be the only part of you the alcohol hasn’t drowned out. Keep listening!

That's a lot of Perception. It'll be worth looking around Martinaise some more, once we get back on the streets.

ITEM GAINED: BOOK "LA FUMEE, VOL. 1 NO. 4"

The leading intellectual organ of Martinaise communism. Offers a radical Masovian perspective on a range of contemporary issues. The cover features a stylised portrait of the late King Frissel with a pair of white antlers growing out of his head.

Let's read this later.

A giant assprint on the pillow and a pattern of coffee rings on the armrest...

The radio is emitting strange buzzing sounds.

PUNCH CLOCK/PAYPHONE - An imposing combination of a punch-clock and a payphone is looking down at you from the wall. A note on the side says: "Tokens unavailable due to strike. Use change."

Insert 10 cents.

[Leave.]

Why not?

PUNCH CLOCK/PAYPHONE - The machine swallows your coin and seems to be waiting for your next move.

[Interfacing - Challenging 12] Let your muscle memory dial a random number.

[Leave.]

INTERFACING [Challenging: Success] - Your fingers run over the dial pad. 005... that's the dialling code for Revachol -- 49-52... and a moment of hesitation before entering the final numbers: 993.

PUNCH CLOCK/PAYPHONE - Calling...

Calling...

Still calling... then...

VIDEO REVACHOL, 24H - ...a crackle, someone picks up! They say: "Video Revachol, 24 hour video rental. We rent eight- and ten-millimetre film for home use. This is Lemmy, how may I help you?"

PERCEPTION (HEARING) [Medium: Success] - The voice of a youngster on the other end sounds as enthusiastic as that of a man walking towards the gallows.

"What is this place?"

VIDEO REVACHOL, 24H - "Video Revachol is a 24 hour video rental. We rent eight and ten millimetre film for home use. This is Lemmy."

"No, I meant, what is this place to *me*?"

"Do you know me?"

"Why did I call you?" (Continue.)

VIDEO REVACHOL, 24H - "Sir, I don't know. It's a video rental. Maybe you rent videos here?"

2. "Do you know me?"

VIDEO REVACHOL, 24H - "No."

3. "Why did I call you?" (Continue.)

VIDEO REVACHOL, 24H - "Maybe you called to extend your rental period? Do you need to extend your rental period?"

"Maybe, but I don't even know my *name*."

"My name is Raphael Ambrosius Costeau. Do you have anything on my name?"

Quietly hang up the phone. [Leave.]

VIDEO REVACHOL, 24H - "Raphaël *what*? Listen, I can't help you over the phone." He sounds annoyed now. "If you need further assistance you can visit us on the corner of Voyager and Main. Are we done?"

+5 XP

Level up!

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - He thinks you're pulling a prank on him.

VIDEO REVACHOL, 24H - The call is terminated by the other party. You're left with the discomforting sound of the disconnect tone.

That... that's enough for today.

[peglarpapers]

tenderly sweeps kim kitsuragi into my arms as we stroll off romantically into the martinaise night in our matching PISSF****T jackets

[birdy-bird27]

COME ON!! KIM KITSURAGI SWEEP!!

ROUND TWO- Transmasc Swag Polls

[disco-elysium-via-polls]

3. "Political. It's a *king* and he's shot."

+5 XP

KIM KITSURAGI - "Why not?" He shrugs. "What this shows us is guns aren't too uncommon here. And people still shoot them. Sometimes at kings." He takes a note in his notebook.

HORSEBACK MONUMENT - The king stands high above you, surveying the bay. Mute and indifferent to your sightings.

5. [Leave.]

🎵 Instrument of Surrender

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - You see a set of tyre tracks in the brown slush that covers the plaza mosaic.

Why am I looking at this?

What kind of vehicle drove through here?

[Visual Calculus - Medium 11] Reconstruct the movement.

Not now. [Leave.]

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - Cop habit. You look at everything.

LOGIC [Easy: Success] - This isn't case-related, you think.

2. What kind of vehicle drove through here?

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - Hard to say.

3. [Visual Calculus - Medium 11] Reconstruct the movement.

VISUAL CALCULUS [Medium: Failure] - No, these tracks are not interesting at all. Let the street sweeper just sweep them away.

4. Not now. [Leave.]

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - There are several footprints in the mud, left by work boots: anywhere from 6 to 12 pairs have walked here.

3. [Visual Calculus - Medium 11] Get an exact count.

I'm still not sure what unlocked this check. Maybe I just forgot to save after the last time?

🎵 Visual Calculus

VISUAL CALCULUS [Medium: Success] - Maybe more than 12? No. Eight pairs of boots have shuffled back and forth in the mud.

Go over them one by one.

Not now. [Leave.]

VISUAL CALCULUS - 1) Standard work boot, steel reinforced toes, no 46.

2) Standard work boot, steel reinforced toes, no 44.

3) Hobnailed work boot, steel reinforced toes, no 43.

4) Standard work boot, no 45 or 46?

Wait, which is it?

Count more.

VISUAL CALCULUS - You don't know. It's a miracle you can tell the prints apart as it is. The cold must have preserved them.

Count more.

VISUAL CALCULUS - 5) Another standard work boot, steel reinforced toes, no 44.

6) An aberration -- light as air. Even pace. Same make of boot, but no 41.

Male or female?

Count the rest.

VISUAL CALCULUS - Impossible to tell. Could also have been an adolescent. The gait is undeveloped.

I'm pretty good at this, ain't I?

Count the rest.

VISUAL CALCULUS - You're not bad. It's as if the whole world darkens, everything else has a thin film of unimportance on it -- and the tracks burn in the middle of it, in a strange, beautiful way.

Count the rest.

VISUAL CALCULUS - 7) The glowing outline of a standard work boot, no 46. But the imprints are *twice* as deep as the others -- the weight exceeds 200 kilograms.

8) And yet another standard work boot, no 44. There's an aberration in the pattern of the sole, however. The right sole is smoother, more worn.

KIM KITSURAGI - "How many?" The lieutenant has been tracking your eyes' movements.

"Eight."

"Four hundred million."

Say nothing.

KIM KITSURAGI - "I was pretty off then. I counted 20."

"The same guys are going back and forth."

"Way off. *Waaaaaay*."

Say nothing.

KIM KITSURAGI - "Mhm." He takes his glasses off and cleans them.

COMPOSURE [Medium: Success] - This is not a man easily toyed with.

KIM KITSURAGI - "I never got the hang of it. Hyperopia." He points to his glasses. "Do you see anything out of the ordinary?"

(Point.) "Light step. Number 41 shoe."

(Point.) "A heavy one. Two hundred kilogram imprint."

(Point.) "An aberration. One sole is smoother than the other."

"How old do you think these tracks are?"

[Leave.]

KIM KITSURAGI - "A woman or a kid?"

"Could be a woman?"

"Could be a kid?"

"I don't think there's any way to be sure."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Okay. How do you know?"

VISUAL CALCULUS - He knows it's hard to discern sex from a person's gait.

"I don't."

"I just do."

"I'm just saying random things while looking at holes in the mud, I have no idea where any of this is coming from."

KIM KITSURAGI - "That's okay," he nods, "go on."

2. (Point.) "A heavy one. Two hundred kilogram imprint."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Two hundred?" He thinks for a moment. "Could it be the combined weight of two people, one carrying the other who's tied up? Let's say, a heavily built worker carrying a similarly built, soon-to-be-dead man?"

VISUAL CALCULUS - He might be right. Two hundred kilograms of living weight *is* unlikely.

"One of them was carrying him over."

"Maybe it was a giant?"

"It could have been an extremely obese person."

"I don't know."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Maybe it *wasn't*?"

EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - There is real, palpable excitement in his voice -- at the prospect of it *not* being a giant.

"I was thinking it was the Giant of Koko Nur."

"But maybe it *was* -- just imagine it, a giant man at least two and a half meters tall."

"You're right, it probably wasn't."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Mhm," he nods enthusiastically. "And I was thinking it *wasn't* the Giant of Koko Nur."

+5 XP

3. "It could have been an extremely obese person."

KIM KITSURAGI - "I can't see any prints fitting the armoured boots the victim was wearing, can you? Someone had to carry him. Are any of the *other* prints deep enough?"

"No."

"Yes."

KIM KITSURAGI - "An obese person is becoming less likely."

"One of them was carrying him over."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Possibly, yes." The lieutenant marks something down in his notebook.

3. (Point.) "An aberration. One sole is smoother than the other."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Interesting -- let's name it the Odd-Sole."

LOGIC [Trivial: Success] - Oh, this one's easy. Way too easy. It's a driver.

"A *driver* would wear down their right shoe before the left -- the accelerator is on the right. And remember that abandoned lorry cabin we found?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "With a piece of sandpaper glued to the throttle..." The lieutenant adjusts his glasses as his eyes light up with excitement.

"Which means that the missing lady driver was also present at the lynching? That's it, she's the odd-sole!"

"She's also the one running the drug trade... Interesting."

"First the drug smuggling, now this... How deep does this rabbit hole go?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "We've identified one of the footprints, but there are still seven to go..." He writes something in his little blue notebook.

4. "How old do you think these tracks are?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "A week maybe? Seven days would fit the time frame provided to us by the caller, who reported the hanging."

VISUAL CALCULUS - It is not impossible.

"How do you know?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "I pulled last week's forecast for coastal Revachol. Seven days below freezing. The day before -- the day of his hanging -- was the last warm day."

VISUAL CALCULUS - Correct again. Sub-zero temperatures would preserve the tracks in a good state. The commotion here *could* have taken place a week ago.

5. "What do you think happened here?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "What do I think? A mob of people brought something heavy to the tree. One of them was carrying the victim. They shuffled around, especially under the tree."

"Then after hoisting him up, they stood in a semicircle facing his direction. At first glance, this appears to be a lynching."

+5 XP!

Level up!

VISUAL CALCULUS - Indeed, they all stood in a row here and looked at the tree.

VOLITION [Medium: Success] - Isn't it strange when all your assumptions are confirmed like this? Stood in a semicircle, hung him, carried him over... like you're supposed to be feeling clever. And content.

"We should withhold being content."

Say nothing.

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant is saying something, but you can't hear it... Suddenly it seems like your tie is alive again, whispering -- no, *screaming* -- into your ear:

HORRIFIC NECKTIE - What, *WITHHOLD BEING CONTENT*?! What are you, mild to moderately disabled? That doesn't feel like something you should do.

Live a little! Everything on the god damn crime scene fits like a glove, you should get *SHITFACED* on this *GOD DAMN CRIME SCENE*!

[disco-elysium-via-polls]

4. "He smells good. Why on earth does he smell so good?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "He *smells* good..." The lieutenant squints his eyes, trying to hold back laughter.

"That's weird, right?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "He smells good and that's weird."

"..."

COMPOSURE [Medium: Success] - He's barely holding it together. It's all he can do to keep from bursting out in laughter.

KIM KITSURAGI - "Come on, detective. Let's go -- we've got a potential witness to interview -- his 'Sunday friend', remember?" He nods at the apartment door before you.

Our Thought Cabinet is full. I'm electing to replace Rigorous Self-Critique, since I realized that it only heals you when you fail a red check, and that doesn't happen often enough to be worth keeping.

"Governmental issues take me all over Revachol, as you can see."

A quarterly business magazine.

"If *stabilité* is ensured, progress will naturally follow.

An old photo of the same apartment, dated year '01.

Expensive men's perfume lingers in the air.

"*Transparence* has always been our highest priority."

Buckets of paint on a layer of old newspapers.

An exquisite canopy bed made of metal.

Dishes soaked up in a pot.

"I don't z'ink conclusions should be rushed at z'is point."

An empty ashtray.

Flyers for underground parties.

Dates for open lectures at a local university.

SAMARAN CONICAL HAT

+1 Logic: Super logical for a cop to wear this -1 Suggestion: Insensitive bachelor party vibes

This tawny cone-shaped hat looks like a beacon of Samaran wisdom, its straws sticking up like antennas. Thank god you can't really see people's reactions when they see you strolling around in this incredibly insensitive headpiece.

Statswise, this isn't better or worse than the Auditor glasses.

PARTY DRAGON'S SILK ROBE

+1 Drama: Become the dragon +1 Electrochemistry: Become an addict... in a strange bathing robe

This sleazy-silky bathing robe in vibrant blues features a roaring dragon on its front, ready to take off into the night. A red belt has been provided for fastening. It's culturally insensitive, but only for people who are not from Seol. The real Seolites probably don't care.

Well, that's a straight increase to our stats, so...

SUNDAY FRIEND - "You have acquired the robe." The man assesses the situation. "Keep it, officer, it looks good on you."

AUTHORITY [Easy: Success] - You shouldn't be seeing him in an intimate setting. For some reason you feel this man is your... *superior*.

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Trivial: Success] - Superior? But he's not in the command chain...

COMPOSURE [Medium: Success] - His hands are clean and well-manicured. This is a man who knows the importance of appearances.

SUNDAY FRIEND - "My name is Charles Villedrouin and I'm an official with the Coalition Government. I work for the Institute of Price Stabilité, on assignment from Sur-la-Clef."

"I heard you talking to my friend outside… Very good. Super. I am here to assist you in any way possible. Ask me about the hanging."

SUGGESTION [Easy: Success] - No, first ask an innocuous personal question to get the interview off on the right foot.

AUTHORITY [Easy: Success] - Yes. Make it clear you're the one setting the terms here...

(Point at the bed.) "Before we go on, I absolutely *have* to inquire about this wonderful canopy."

(Point to the silk robe.) "Before we get to that, tell me where you got this *beautiful* silk robe from?"

(Show him the Samaran hat.) "We'll get to that. Right after you tell me the story behind the black Samaran hat."

(Get down to business.) "Hello, Mr. Villedrouin. Let's get started."

SUNDAY FRIEND - "Oh, we got it from an atelier in the East Delta Commerce Centre. Personally I think it's a little culturally insensitive, but the material is great. Sadly the shop is now out of business..."

"That's really all I can tell you about it." He forms a little rooftop with his fingers. Cold air sweeps in from the balcony.

AUTHORITY - That didn't work at all.

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant takes out his notebook and nods to you to proceed.

"You actually *witnessed* the lynching?"

"What's an official like you doing in Martinaise?"

"Can you tell me about your friend?"

"Thanks, I've got all I need." [Leave.]

SUNDAY FRIEND - "I'm sorry to say I did, officer." The man gives a solemn nod.

(Turn to the lieutenant.) "This is just the break we've been looking for!"

"Is it because you did it, Mr. Villedrouin?"

"Start from the beginning, if you don't mind."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Easy, detective. No need to jump to conclusions." He eyes the spectacled man near the window, who smiles and spreads his hands.

2. "Is it because you did it, Mr. Villedrouin?"

SUNDAY FRIEND - "Because I *did it*?" the man scoffs.

COMPOSURE [Medium: Success] - He's clearly not a man accustomed to being spoken to in that manner, let alone to being accused of *murder*.

"My apologies, I misspoke. I mean, what did you see?"

"Don't jerk my chain, paper-jockey. You did it, didn't you?"

SUNDAY FRIEND - "Officer, it's very difficult to describe what I saw that night. It was so surreal to me, like in a play."

DRAMA [Medium: Success] - He holds out his hands and blossoms his fingers, like a drama teacher setting the scene.

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant is already scribbling down notes. "What do you mean, 'like in a play'?"

SUNDAY FRIEND - "It was just so strange. I could barely comprehend what was happening..."

"I was on the balcony when it happened, getting some fresh air. I remember that first they came in, carrying what looked like a body, and then I saw all the surrounding windows go dead one-by-one…"

"That's when I understood -- I should not be seeing this."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Sounds like the victim *was* unconscious. Or at least incapacitated. Interesting."

"Who were 'they'? Can you describe them?"

"How many of them were there?"

"What happened next?" (Proceed.)

SUNDAY FRIEND - "I couldn't see their faces well, and there were quite a few of them. But they were very loud and very... Martinaise..." He pauses, looking for the right wording.

"Let's just say that the labouring classes can get rather expressive with their profanities."

2. "How many of them were there?"

SUNDAY FRIEND - "I couldn't tell you exactly. Less than ten. Maybe eight?"

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant sends you a sharp look at the mention of that number.

"Were any of them the Giant of Koko Nur?"

"What happened next?"

SUNDAY FRIEND - "No, there were no *mythological giants*, I'm afraid. They were all *quite* human, so far as I could tell."

"What happened next?"

SUNDAY FRIEND - "I went back inside."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Were you able to see anything from inside?"

SUNDAY FRIEND - "Officer, the yard was pitch black. There was nothing to see. But I could still hear their voices. They were threatening to kill that poor man."

"Were they men, women?"

"What ethnicity were they?"

"What happened next?" (Proceed.)

SUNDAY FRIEND - "All men, I presume. But again, I couldn't see very clearly."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Hmmm. But we're fairly certain the lady driver was present..." The lieutenant flips through his notes.

"Are you sure at least *one* of them wasn't a woman?"

SUNDAY FRIEND - "It's possible, officer, but I cannot say with certainty. It was very dark, you must remember."

2. "What ethnicity were they?"

SUNDAY FRIEND - "I believe they were mostly white, though I believe I saw two Areopagites among them. And I am quite certain that one spoke with a Mesque accent."

3. "What happened next?" (Proceed.)

SUNDAY FRIEND - "Well, that's the strangest part, officer. *Nothing* happened. It was oddly quiet for a public lynching."

"What do you mean 'nothing happened'? They lynched a guy!"

SUNDAY FRIEND - "Eventually their shouts died down, and that was all. There were no gunshots, no celebratory shouts, no anything."

"Why didn't you call the RCM?"

"You're right, that does seem strange."

SUNDAY FRIEND - The man wipes his glasses. "You're right, of course. That is what one is supposed to do in such circumstances. I was simply in shock..."

"I'm afraid I don't have anything else to add."

KIM KITSURAGI - "About what time was all this happening, approximately?"

SUNDAY FRIEND - "All I can say is that it was late."

"So let me get this straight. You didn't actually witness the hanging itself, did you?"

SUNDAY FRIEND - "No, I didn't see the corpse until the following day."

KIM KITSURAGI - "It seems this wasn't the 'break' you were hoping for..."

"I think we have everything we need," the lieutenant says, closing his notebook. "Thank you for talking to us, Mr. Villedrouin."

SUNDAY FRIEND - "Of course, anything I can do to assist the RCM."

Task complete: Interview the Sunday friend

+10 XP

2. "What's an official like you doing in Martinaise?"

SUNDAY FRIEND - "The Coalition is only looking out for *ze price stabilité*." He raises an index finger. "Inflation is a killer, like a heart disease blocking the normal circulation of the economy -- It must be controlled..."

"The economy impacts the entire *international community*, which is why it requires international oversight."

"Okay, but what are you doing *here* in this apartment?"

"So you're some kind of bureaucrat?"

"What is this *international community*?"

"What is *ze price stabilité*?"

"Enough business, let's talk about something else."

SUNDAY FRIEND - "Ah, well, I'm renovating it. It is an interesting project. The building used to be a twelve-story skyscraper before the cannons took the top four stories off. This of course happened when the Coalition forces landed here..."

He smiles. "You could say I'm undoing some of the *material* damage the international community caused when we arrived here."

2. "So you're some kind of bureaucrat?"

SUNDAY FRIEND - "Yes. As I said before, I'm a commissioner from Sur-la-Clef working for the Institute of Price Stabilité." He glances at his watch. "This is one of the main projects of the Moralintern."

3. "What is this *international community*?"

SUNDAY FRIEND - "La communauté internationale is what Revacholians colloquially call *the Coalition*. In other words, the nations that stopped the disaster of the Revolution."

And our employers, technically.

4. "What is *ze price stabilité*?"

SUNDAY FRIEND - "It is ze most important thing."

"That doesn't tell me anything."

"Ah, that clears everything up."

SUNDAY FRIEND - "It's the central goal of any sound monetary policy. Maintaining ze price stabilité is essential to maintaining high levels of economic activity, which is essential for maintaining high levels of employment..."

"Which is essential for maintaining *ze social stabilité*…"

KIM KITSURAGI - "Basically it makes sure the price of bread doesn't change."

SUNDAY FRIEND - "*Précisément*! Too much inflation, bread becomes too expensive; too much deflation, it becomes too cheap for bakers to produce..."

"That's why the Institute of Price Stabilité works to keep inflation just below 2%..."

"Below 2% of what?"

"This is *fascinating*, but I wanted to ask you something else."

SUNDAY FRIEND - "But not *too* far below, no. Too below is also bad -- below, *but close to* 2%."

"You're not answering my questions at all."

SUNDAY FRIEND - "The Coalition believes in the importance of informing the public about the benefits of ze price stabilité. Transparency is one of our principles. Would you like an informational pamphlet?"

"No, I'm good."

"Okay, sure, give me a leaflet."

SUNDAY FRIEND - "A sound monetary policy is *essential* for addressing *uncertainty*. Stability is the *raison d'être* of the Moralintern. It's the reason why I identify as a moralist."

He pats his pockets. "But, oh! I don't have my leaflets on me today. That's too bad. You can always call our information line. Making information available is part of the Moralintern's commitment to transparency."

5. "I've heard about this Moralintern before, but I want to know more."

SUNDAY FRIEND - "It's the international organization for moralists. Hence 'Moralist International.' The Institute of Price Stability is just one of its many *mind babies* -- as is the Coalition."

(Turn to Kim.) "So when I said I was a lackey of capital, what I should have said is that I'm a Moralintern bitch?"

"Oooh…" (Turn to Kim.) "So we're actually working for the Moralintern? That doesn't seem so bad."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Doing one's job doesn't automatically make one anyone's *bitch*. Besides, there are more nefarious powers to work for than the Moralintern."

Are there?

(Turn back to Sunday Friend.) "Are you a moralist?"

SUNDAY FRIEND - "But of course!"

"But why?"

"Am *I* a moralist?"

SUNDAY FRIEND - "Because moralists believe in a normal, stable world governed by democratic values."

(Turn to Kim.) "Lieutenant, are *you* a moralist?"

"But what is a normal, stable world?"

"Martinaise doesn't seem very normal, or stable, to me."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Hmm, me? I... uh..."

COMPOSURE [Medium: Success] - You've managed to catch the lieutenant off guard, but only for a moment. He quickly recomposes himself.

KIM KITSURAGI - "I'm a lieutenant of the RCM, dedicated to maintaining law and order in Revachol."

SUNDAY FRIEND - "A very moralist answer," the man nods.

ESPRIT DE CORPS [Easy: Success] - The lieutenant is practised in the art of putting on a show for one's superiors.

"But what is a normal, stable world?"

SUNDAY FRIEND - "The Occident is part of the normal world. Oranje, Sur-la-Clef..."

"Martinaise doesn't seem very normal, or stable, to me."

SUNDAY FRIEND - "Martinaise? No, Martinaise is... something else."

"What about the rest of Revachol? Is it part of the normal world?"

SUNDAY FRIEND - "Revachol is generally... difficult. It's led by an interim government, which means it hasn't yet achieved *full* democracy..."

"But they are working towards it! You're all doing very well here, relatively speaking." He gives you an approving nod.

[revacholsidetournament]

welcome to the DISCO ELYSIUM SIDE CHARACTER TOURNAMENT: FIRST ELIMINATION ROUND

disco elysium has a lot of side characters. like a lot. but WHO WILL BE TUMBLR'S FAVORITE?

a "side character" for the purposes of this bracket is any character who is not 1. central to the main murder mystery or 2. central to Harry's character. this means that the following characters will NOT be eligible (spoilers!): Harry DuBois, Kim Kitsuragi, Ellis Kortenaer, Klaasje Amandou, Iosef Lilianovich Dros, Evrart Claire, Joyce Messier, Cuno, Jean Vicquemare, and Dora Ingerlund. historical figures have also been excluded, so sorry, no Kras Mazov sweep.

characters will face off HEAD-TO-HEAD in order to make it to the second elimination round. voting for Group A will begin in ONE HOUR (8pm EST)! PROPAGANDA IS ENCOURAGED! MAY THE BEST SIDE CHARACTER WIN!