#KARKAT'S FUCKING ILK

[solitarydoomsday]

IS IT REALLY NARCISSISM IF IT'S SELF-LOATHING?

OKAY, I'M TAKING OVER ELLIOT'S ACCOUNT TO POST MY FUCKING DRAWING, HE DOESN'T REALLY GIVE A SHIT IF WE SHARE THE ACCOUNT SINCE WE PRACTICALLY SHARE ALL OUR OTHER ONES, AND I DON'T HAVE THE ENERGY NOR THE FRONTING TIME TO TYPICALLY UPHOLD MY OWN TUMBLR ACCOUNT. ANYWAYS, I COULD GO ON AN ON ABOUT HOW MUCH OF A SEVERE LACK OF KARKAT^2 CONTENT THERE IS (IM NOT FUCKING CALLING IT KARKATCEST), DESPITE THE OBVIOUS CANNON FREUDIAN SLIPS AND ENDLESS PITCHFLIRTING BETWEEN MY PRESENT, PAST AND FUTURE SELVES, SOMEHOW KANKRI X KARKAT STILL HAS MORE CONTENT WITH IT AND IS THE ONLY ITERATION OF "VANTASCEST" THAT GETS ANY ATTENTION, WHICH IS FRANKLY REALLY FUCKING STUPID, ALL THINGS CONSIDERED.

ANYWAYS, HERE'S FUCKING KARKAT^2 TO FILL THE AFOREMENTIONED VOID OF IT. ENJOY. -CG

P.S. MY LOYAL YAOI WARRIOR.

[borzoilover69]

I *need* the 3 paragraph essay on davejake. They give me brainworms, please

Alright here it is, me rambling at length about davejake to some person, now copy pasted on tumblr!

So as you already know (or dont) i often frame dave and jake hanging out as clubbing buddies. That's all there is to their relationship. My personal headcanon is that dave is such a loser postgame. I think he would fall out with karkat because he doesnt know how to clean up after himself and gets more aloof and sort of a jackass down the line (count it on bad parenting!!) and it pisses off karkat so bad they dont have a tumultuous breakup they just sort of fizzle out bcus both of them dont have the balls or the energy to tell the other its over they just sort of stop talking. 

It doesnt just impact his relationship with Karkat, I imagine he'd fall out with a lot of his friends because it's okay to be an insufferable prick when youre 13 or 16 but less so when youre in your 20s. This would especially impact his relationship with John. If you look at it from a subjective opinion, its a wonder they ended up friends in the first place. They have different interests, contrasting personalities, and different ideas of fun. I like the idea that John would have depression postgame, and I think that Dave just wouldnt know how to handle it at all, doesnt really know how to connect. Theyd be stuck in this thing where they can't think of a single good thing about the other when they're apart, but when they're togehter it's fine. You know its bad when you dont have literally anything to talk abt with your best friend. hes totally indifferent to any of daves comments on politics or the ilk. 

Dave understands that time and relationships dont go well at all he cant stay in touch with old friends, but also doesnt really desire cant new friends, stuck perpetually in limbo.

and thats the thing sort of the same with jake. jake hits it off big but realising so many people want him and desire to be around him makes him lose touch with his old group so hes grown distant too, theyd get along because they dont care enough to know the other on a deeper level and it suits them just fine.  like they might wonder but thatd open a pandoras box.  

For Dave it’s the fact that Jake doesn’t show outward opposition to his brand of bullshit, and doesn’t ask nor desires to get deep with him, so it’s fine. Here for a good time not for a long time.  They can do all the things that dirk is too much of a shut-in prude to do. (Same goes for John) and just hangout. Hookup a few times. 

For Jake, Dave is a strider (something he likes) and again, doesn’t ask and isn’t someone who wants to get deep with him which suits him just fine because Dave can be fun if they’re doing something fun and Jake doesn’t want to go alone. Which he doesn’t. Jake English is the type of guy to fill his entire schedule just to avoid talking to people one on one that hes known for a long time (doesn’t want to get intimate just wants to have a lot to talk about with no qualms.) 

Like he also doesn’t want to know Dave on a personal level but he can convince the guy to go on benders because Dave has nothing really going for him and they can bitch about their selective friend groups w/o it coming back to bite both of them in the ass due to them obviously not going to tell the others about it.  Which is great. For them. 

Its funny as hell to imagine them helping each other but they genuinely do not give a fuck about that at all. Funny In the glaringly not endgame our friend groups both sort of ditched us but we sort of also enabled that to happen (we lack the ability to try hard at it for too long without getting uncomfortable) and base level of similiartiy that doesn’t show signs of fluctuating so as long as they’re generally entertaining and on board to party and do fun things they are friends and or in relations (complicated and a sworn open secret) to each other.

Honestly it’s likee canon. To me. Im a big fan of less than conventional relationships. A lot of the fun comes from exploring the lengths they would go to stave off boredom in the face of immortality and  trying to stave off having a deep conversation or revelation while tiptoeing around issues they have with others and with themselves through a safe haze of vices. Like they’d get close to it but get interrupted. 

Dave and Jake are silly as heck. Love those goobers. Their relationship to Dirk is purely they know to not fuck with each other because it’d genuinely upset dirk really bad but they do it anyway. And it’s true they see attributes of their best friend in the other with added benefits of them not being so uptight as their best friends from childhood. 

[jojotier]

So like it starts all the way back with Gamzee and some shady backalley deals, because before Karkat knew more guys, he knew a single, solitary guy.

It's when everyone's 16. The Prospitian-Dersite War has been over for 3 years, meaning that the border states- which used to be the seat of the Alternian Empire, which was absorbed into Derse at the beginning of the war due to Condy assassinating the former King- have been split between Prospit and Derse. In the interim, Condesce's control of Derse becomes ever more capricious as paranoia over a possible coup attempt sets in. The uneasy truce between Prospit and Derse is threatened when Her Imperious Condescension enacts martial law in Derse.

So Karkat is 16 and angry and watching as violence along the border starts slowly ramping up- mini skirmishes between Dersite and Prospitian vigilantes, whispers of an arms race over the horizon as Prospit touts its breakthroughs in nuclear energy, and rumblings that Derse might ask for the extrication of Silas, the preacherman currently under Prospitian protection.

Silas has been plenty careful in making sure to hide that he's ever had a kid/descendant (don't know if they're still trolls yet). And Karkat knows it'll be even harder to pin him as anything of Vantas's ilk if he goes out and fights himself. So he starts joining raids on Dersite encampments along the border.

It goes well. At first. But he's 16, and he's angry, and if he doesn't prove his loyalty to Prospit there's a chance that if he's discovered they'll send him to Derse as a political appeasement as Condesce's behavior as a tyrant slowly becomes more erratic, and eventually he makes an ill-advised choice, slips up, and ends up bleeding out behind enemy lines.

Prospit and Derse are pretending these skirmishes aren't happening, because they're still at "peace". No official help coming. Rest of the raiding party's already been scattered and won't be back 'til dawn. The only chance he has left is to wait it out- or wait for the Clown, he fucking guesses, but that's just bullshit stories people have been whispering about- a guy in a clown mask stalking the raids, watching from afar, then stepping into the camps to sell his wares. But why would some capricious fuckshit save his life?

Turns out the Clown is real, though, and it's Gamzee fucking Makara of all people. His childhood best friend.

So Gamzee's just perusing the fallen, looking for the person who stole a pretty priceless gun off of him, and instead what he finds is his best fucking friend, bleeding out in a ditch when Karkat said he'd home.

Karkat doesn't bleed to death. Instead Gamzee drags him back and Karkat watches some of the deals as he's recovering, taking note of a girl asking for uranium here, a guy hoarding books of coding for ~ATH, a language which hasn't been legal since the end of the war- and when he's well enough for Gamzee to let him go, Karkat promises to never tell a soul about Gamzee's business (true) and also that he wouldn't get into any more trouble (lying).

From there it goes like this: he ends up finding Aradia, a Dersite offering her mortuary services to Prospitian gangs along the border and who's taken hostage for fear of her being an HIC spy, finds out she knows how to tell the exact time and cause of someone's death, even if the autopsy comes out inconclusive. Tells her he knows a guy (Gamzee) who can get her the chemicals she needs and helps her escape. She keeps in contact.

Aradia asks him whether his guy can get some ~ATH code books for her for a friend. Gamzee can. Karkat buys the books himself- tells her that if she wants them, all she has to do is let him meet the guy in question. Finds Sollux. Sollux doesn't trust Karkat, asks Karkat to solve a murder. Aradia, for whatever reason, doesn't want Sollux to know what she can do, but Karkat doesn't out her. Only calls her later, once Sollux is gone, to solve that case so he can hand Sollux the real autopsy report with the ~ATH books. Sollux keeps in contact.

And over the course of the 6 years is takes to build and enact the coup that removes HIC from the throne, Karkat's list of contacts grows. Dersite propagandist Dave Strider hears from a guy that Karkat knows a guy who can get him the latest blueprints from Derse's nuclear research division. Prospitian informant Tavros hears Karkat knows a guy who can import the latest anti-HIC propaganda to Prospit to help rally Prospitian support behind Feferi's cause. Agent Gallows of the Prospitian Intelligence Agency threatens to out Karkat if he doesn't give up the contacts, but thankfully, he knows a guy who can get her enough support from the Dersite Intelligence Ensemble to promise that the next Dersite ruler won't try to expand further into Prospit.

it's a laundry list of political machinations and adventures that ends up not being expanded on in the main body of the spy comedy au because Karkat is now comfortably sitting back watching all of his major contacts make absolute fools of themselves in the most fucked up romantic drama known to man

it should defs be noted that Karkat's deal in the spy comedy au is the one where he's the guy everyone goes to because he knows a guy, so he'll have Vriska coming up to him ranting about how she needs a weapon's guy because fucking Auxiliatrix was there again last night, with a fucking CHAINSAW, why does this bounty hunter need a CHAINSAW, so he's writing down '''Mr. Angelo's''' number before Vriska gets a call and is like "Oh, heyyyyyyyy Maryam- oh, Radiance Cafe? Yeah yeah I could make that" and Karkat is just taking the longest sip of his coke imaginable as Vriska unwittingly agrees to a date with the assassin who's been trying to kill her for months

[mutatedred]

@wouldhope​​  ♡ ‘d for a starter

KARKAT HAD BEEN minding his own business, sulking on his own, but nothing could last forever. And unfortunately for him, like all good things, his peace and quiet came to an end. A particular glasses wearing, buck toothed human had come to pester him. A one John Egbert. He at first pretended not to notice him, but upon further being pushed he whipped around on the other. The short troll was about to absolutely lay into him for coming near him.

“What the fuck do you want, Egbert? Can’t you see I’m minding own business, away from everyone, very clearly avoiding socialization with ilk like you?” He was as loud as ever, his angry facade showing no sign of fading. “Do you need something? Is someone dying? No? Then kindly go fuck yourself as I don’t have time for your bullshit, nor do I want anything to do with you.” He probably didn’t mean any of that and anyone who knew him would know that. 

[solitarydoomsday]

DOODLES I MADE IN FRONT DURING OUR CLASS TONIGHT.

CONTEXT FOR THE BOTTOM ONE IS THAT I WAS TRYING TO SNEAK SOME VAPING BEFORE I HAD TO TURN MY CAMERA ON AND THIS GUY JUST CAUSALLY VAPES OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE. I FELT FUCKING STUPID BUT WHATEVER.

I WAS TOLD I DREW THE GUY TO LOOK LIKE DAVE (PURELY ACCIDENTAL) BUT THE GUY LOOKED GENUINELY SO STUPID BEFORE HE TURNED HIS CAMERA OFF IT WAS FUCKING FUNNY. -CG