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alexiososp · 9 days

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Pride by yeolimerent with Readers

I am Alexio Sospranio and you’re listening to the kaisoo fic podcast!

For new listeners, the kaisoo fic podcast is a space where we discuss literature found in the kaisoosphere.

This month we will be looking at one fic for two episodes. First part is today, dated the 12th, second part will be on the 14th. Special kaisoo dates!

Today’s episode is slightly different, the kaisoo fic podcast is joined together with two kaisoo readers! And I am also very delighted to share that on the 14th, we will have the author themselves to share their journey with this month’s fic, give insight to the details of the plot and more, so stay tuned for that, coming out tomorrow’s tomorrow!

I would just like to share with you the sequence in which we will be sharing this episode. It is broken up into 5 parts.

Very first part I will share with you the story behind the episode cover art. Next, is introducing guests plus never before done on the podcast, but an important one for guests, we have a small ice breaker ‘never have i ever’ game.

Fourth segment i will introduce the fic, soon after followed by the experience of our two guest readers on reading it based on the questions i asked on the discord.

So generally about 5 general parts.

Podcast Cover Art

This segment is on the podcast cover art because I would like to express my gratitude to Lyn who I commissioned for this episode’s cover art. Thank you Lyn for opening up commissions and being accommodating to my requests!

The story behind the podcast cover art is a reimagined take on one of the arcs in the fic. This specific scene we have Jongin giving Kyungsoo a bouquet and Kyungsoo looking at shreds of torn blueprints on the floor.

In the podcast cover art, Kyungsoo is wearing his collage outfit. Kyungsoo is looking down on his torn blueprints. This was 8 years ago.

Context for this particular position Kyungsoo is in: Kyungsoo got his work stolen by Soojung. Everyone sided with Soojung because there was no evidence of it being Kyungsoo’s work as he did not consult any advisors of the project. He is dejected, angry, frustrated, resentful because no one believes him. Kyungsoo ends up being all alone, it is as good as his hard work being torn to shreds.

In the podcast cover art, Jongin is wearing a suit as after 8 years, he is a rich, sexy CEO of a company. Jongin has hope in his eyes, he is holding out a bouquet of essentials for architect designers and flowers.

Context for this particular position Jongin is in: Jongin wants to freely show his love to Kyungsoo and make up for all the times it was hard on the both of them. Jongin later in the fic is then honest with Kyungsoo that he did not believe that Kyungsoo stole the work. So Jongin admitting that, is a second chance for kaisoo to truly work on their relationship.

Intro Guests

Introducing the guests. A few episodes ago, I promoted the kaisooists discord community server. When first starting out the server I was happily surprised to find other keen kaisooists tuning into the server. The community server accepts all kaisooists in the spectrum of casual kaisoo enjoyer to chronically deranged person experiencing kaisooism.

To celebrate having 100+ members in the kaisooists discord community server, now slightly more than 120 users, I asked users in the server to submit a comment of about 200 words on what their favourite fic is and why. We had two submissions, one by a regular author on the kaisoo fic podcast show, Haqiyin and a kaisoo reader, Jie. Haqiyin’s favorite fic is I Am Happy When I Am With You by Chesh_cat. But today we will be hosting Jie and Yu. Jie eagerly answered Pride by yeolimerent, and so that is the fic we will be going through for the day.

Introducing a bit on Jie, Jie has been in this fandom since (2013), that's about (11 years). The moment that instilled her faith in kaisoo was when she kept seeing kaisoo as a regular pairing in wattpad fanfics when she was a newbie fan and wanted to find exo fics.

Welcome Jie, we are pleased to have you on this kaisoo fic podcast! Before we begin, do you have any opening comments you would like to make?

Hello everyone! I’m jie and i’m an exo-l from both heart and mind. Been into kaisoo most of my teenage years (until now) and not regretting it at all. And kaisoo did truly change my life and even helped me during my hard times in the past. That's why I treasure them a lot and will pass down to all of my generations that kaisoo is real XD. My journey as a reader started in 2013, as per the introduction, I didn't have knowledge about the famous pairings or otps that the fandom had. But because i was into wattpad, I searched for any exo fanfics I could find and that’s where I found kaisoo. At first, I was thinking about it and then I saw them on twitter and saw lots of fans shipping them, I was convinced they’re real and the hype about them makes sense. After that I started reading lots of kaisoo fanfics I could find on wattpad.

Thank you Jie for sharing! It is very delightful to know that kaisoo helped you during difficult moments in your life. It just goes to show how important kaisoo is to us, how having them as our source of happiness really pulls us out of the darkness of life and gives us the strength to continue living. It sounds really delusional, but if it helps us to continue with life, continue with striving everyday and being hard at work with the things we do, then believing in kaisoo is worth the delulu and crazy.

While preparing for this episode I saw on my timeline, user Yu was rereading Pride and with that I approached them to ask if they would be willing to be part of this episode. Since this episode is an episode talking about pride with people from the discord, I thought it would be appropriate!

So Yu is another kaisooists in the discord server as well. Like Jie, introducing a bit on Yu, Yu has been in this fandom since (2014), that's about (10 years). The kaisoo moment that changed the trajectory of her faith in kaisoo was when kaisoo were (being dramatic on that EXO’s Secret Lotte Night event in 2016, after Kaistal was publicised).

Welcome Yu, we are also pleased to have you on this kaisoo fic podcast! Similar to Jie, do you have any opening comments you would like to make?

Hi everyone! I’m Yu and I’ve been an EXO-L since 2014. Like Jie, I was not really aware of OTPs and ships inside the fandom until I joined a roleplaying community back in 2014. That time, I was just roleplaying Kyungsoo because he’s my bias and my internet friends were shipping me with Kai roleplayers. I got really curious why “they” were being paired together so I researched a bit on them and saw a LOT of their moments. I thought, hmm, they DO have chemistry and they DO look cute together, not knowing that they will literally change the course of my life forever. That’s the time I started watching their moments together in variety shows, behind the scenes clips, and tours. After that, all I was reading on wattpad were kaisoo fan fictions, then I got introduced to AFF, livejournal, and AO3, creating this kaisoo-obsessed monster. Not only do I see Kaisoo as the people I look up to, but I think they’re the biggest reason I am who I am today.

Thank you for sharing and joining us on a short notice! I actually personally have never come across a roleplaying community? Yu, is it like tweet fics but interactive?

Yes, people have the option to roleplay their muse in an in-character way (like as idols) or they can portray their muse in an alternate universe way. People create their roleplaying accounts (at least during my time) using facebook or twitter. From that you can interact with other roleplayers and form friendships within the community too.

omg!! A fun fact is I know the roleplaying community!! . Even until now I’m still doing it as a hobby. It’s actually fun to try making accounts and interact with different roleplayers too. In that community, different idols are like friends and it could be enjoying or traumatizing lmao. I’m also a kyungsoo roleplayer and started roleplaying in 2014.

Ahhh, i see,that is interesting!

I just want to say that the both of you got into kaisoo out of curiosity. Which is very fascinating to me because it just goes to show that kaisoo’s relationship is not blatantly in your face, it is not what… Some people call a government assigned ship or fanservice. They are also not very loud in their interactions in terms of skinship and promoting together… It is a very genuine relationship because on the surface level for really casual fans, it may seem like they have a unique bond where they are more attentive to one another but not too alarming to the casual viewer. But those with sharper and inquisitive eyes may be able to read between the lines.

My point here is that… okay, how young were you when you got into kaisoo?

Jie’s age: 12

Yu’s age: 13

So being at that point in life in the pre/early teens, we may not have caught on so quickly on their special relationship. Then for the both of you being in the wattpad and roleplaying communities, you probably interacted with slightly older fans who are able to identify that there is a bigger, more intimate kind of relationship for kaisoo. This is my assumption, and with the influence of others, it piques your interest to find out more. And when we see it with our own eyes, with rose coloured lenses, without a doubt, we see that kaisoo really really exhibits a sort of more than friends, more than colleagues relationship. And I love that for them. They are also my sense of strength.

Never have i ever (fic/kaisoo related)

Ice breaker time!

Since this is a three person episode, let’s do an ice breaker to slowly get to get to know each other a bit more before diving into the fic of the day.

We will be playing ‘never have i ever’, but make it fic and kaisoo related! So for the questions, we have to guess if the person has, or has never done said thing.

We have questions we want to ask, so mayb Jie can go first?

Jie’s fic qn: Never have I ever read a fluff/romantic fic with no happy ending

Guess Jie’s answer

Yu - Since we're talking about tags, it's actually related to my next question, which is…

Yu’s fic qn: Never have I ever ditched a fic that has a good plot but has no proper tagging of who is the top/bottom

Guess Yu’s answer

Jie - so since we’re in the talks about top and bottom which are quite related to the R18 topic, the next NHIE is sort of related to it. The question is..

Jie’s fic qn: Never have I ever dreamed about the <intense> kaisoo fic scenes

Guess Jie’s answer

Yu - So since we're talking about real life things in related to fics and kaisoo, the next question actually is…

Yu’s fic qn: Never have I ever read intense smut in public and in broad daylight

Guess Yu’s answer

Alexio irl qn: okay so consensus is that the three of us have read a fic in public. My question now issss: Never have I ever skipped an outing with friends/family just to read kaisoo fics

Guess Alexio answer

Real life relation…

Jie’s kaisoo qn: Never have I ever thought about kaisoo being the rumored bxb couple in k-industry by pannchoa (?)

Guess Jie’s answer

Yes, we believe and we pray.

That was fun! Okay now I see the importance of ice breaker because I feel we have more energy now to go through with the episode.

Pride by yeolimerent

Now the purpose of this episode is to commemorate having 100+ users in the kaisooists community discord server. Jie, upon writing out your response, you DMed me on Discord with a screenshot of how you exceeded the server’s character limit of 2000 by double… Now, you really must have a lot to say for this fic to go on for 4000 characters!

For this particular event, i asked server members to submit their write up by sharing with us five points:

Brief summary of the plot, character and premise.

The impact this fic had on you.

What has this fic taught you?

What particular scene was it in the fic that moved you?

Why do you love this fic?

Jie, first question of the episode is: Why did you choose Pride by yeolimerent to share with us in commemoration of the 100 users in the kaisooist’s discord community server?

Pride deserves to be promoted more especially for people who love tropes similar to it. Based on my opinion, as a silent reader most of the time, it needs more recognition because it is written to perfection. I’ve been seeing people’s recommendations promoting some overrated kaisoo fanfic (though they deserve it too and they are overrated for a reason) and I haven’t found one recommending Pride so here I am! Sharing this kind of fic is new to me actually because I’m not a hundred percent fan of tropes like enemies to lovers but surprise! I loved this one and it deserves love from everyone too.

I read this fic only after your recommendation, so thank you for putting this on the discord. Without you, we would not have gone through the fic!

I’m glad to hear that though :>>

I would also like to thank you for participating in the event at that point! The discord means a lot to me, and it is nice to see people engaging in it as well!

but oh! I just remembered something. I think back in 2022, if i am not mistaken Pride was the 3rd most recommended fic when kaisooficrec on twitter did a 30 day challenge in january to celebrate their birth month! (https://kaisooficrec.tumblr.com/post/674974951042891776/kfr-challenge).

But before we dive deeper into the episode, let’s talk about the fic, plot wise and technical aspects:

Pride by yeolimerent is a 300+ thousand-word fic. Very dramatic with tags including: angst; sexual tension; break up/make up; timeskips; miscommunication; mutual pining; enemies to lovers; rags to riches

Warnings: dubious consent; smut (bottom soo); minor character deaths.

The author warns readers that this is not for the faint hearted, and we quote: I just have to warn you that this has so many flaws, characters and story-wise. So if you're not into complicated things, please save yourself some time.

The author warns readers because this is a massive work. Upon reading you see each time you think it gets better, something will freaking give you a whiplash. It is dramatic, it is emotional.

Reading from the author's summary:

The life of being a chaebol son should be easy, except that it's hell. Do Kyungsoo has one goal—to escape and be free from this leash. So when a heartbreak from his first love gave him the reason to finally leave this hellhole for good, he grabbed the chance willingly.

Years later, he's pulled back to the place, the life, and the man he thought he already escaped. What's worse is when everything he had is taken away from him, by the very same man who just used to be his driver… but now surely isn't.

first time vs second time

Now being a three person episode, we’ll take turns going through the fic, our experience reading the fic, what we are learning from the fic, the ways the fic impacted us and we will end with us reading extracts from our favourite parts of the fic.

Since Jie started off answering the first question, maybe Yu, you’d like to take this next one:

While getting ready for this episode, we all recently reread Pride again right? How different was it reading it for the first time versus this recent time you reread it again?

Personally, I felt like reading it the second time around made me look at the plot and the characters in a more in-depth perspective. Of course, the first time I read it emotionally wrecked me for days (XD) that I had to stop myself and pause from reading from time to time to process the events in the fic, and it surely did not change when I reread it again, but this time, I felt like I got to feel each of the characters emotions first-hand too. Like, I understood where Kyungsoo was coming from when he was being prideful and stubborn, and also why was Jongin bad at communicating which is more frustrating!

I see, so for Yu, you were able to immerse yourself in the characters and the meanings behind the things they do. I think usually for these kinds of fics, where it is fast paced. Very action packed, where there is always something happening and you are always kept on your toes. So naturally in your first reading of the fic you would want to know what happens next. So you read as fast as you can, taking breaks when it gets too overwhelming.

Yes, I agree. The first time I read it I never realized the simplest things in the story will make sense in the plot in the next chapters. Rereading it was an enjoyable experience.

Indeed it was an enjoyable experience. And what about Jie, did you have a similar or different experience?

I actually relate to Yu’s response! like the first time i’ve read the pride, some of the scenes are blurred to me and didn’t make sense so I was like ‘why is jongin like this and such’ since i’ve observed that the pov heavily falls into Kyungsoo’s rather than jongin’s. And also well i’m kind of scared of what’s about to happen every time since it’s my first time reading it (it’s my default emotion when i read long fics for the first time). but when i reread it, the plot became more defined in my mind and everything just makes sense! and one thing i’ve also observed is that, the effects of each scene are still the same for me when i reread it. I still have mixed emotions and despite knowing what to happen in the next scene, i’m still not prepared for it ><

The delightful thing of reading it a second time is that we sort of know how the plot unfolds… so we are able to revisit the scenes and slowly read through the details in the beginning of the fic where yeolimerent gives tiny hints of how the plot will develop in the later parts of Pride. Moments like the carelessness of Kyungsoo leaving his blueprint in the room without much thought. As a reader, we also did not give it much thought, but that became one of the most important points of the story that pushed Kyungsoo to be off the grid, and he continues to struggle with that problem until almost the end of the fic. So when we reread it again, we are more aware of the small bits of information yeolimerent gives. That goes to show how detailed a writer yeolimerent is.

That is so true. I really admire yeolimerent as a writer. My twitter mutuals would know how annoying I can be when it comes to this fic because it's always in my head like… Of course there are a lot of fics I love too, but Pride just really stood out because it has all the tropes I like in a fic; exes to lovers, CEO au, rags to rich, angst with happy ending, and slow burn.

I know right!! I actually love how important the small details in yeolimerent’s fic! She’s just so amazing despite knowing some of her fics late. My first fic from her is the smear campaign that i really love so much too!! But for this year, the pride just brought me the roller coaster feeling of emotions and I'm convinced that it will be the top tier fic I have encountered this year.

Omg smear campaign… I first read that one recently during my vacation. Mind you I read Pride BEFORE reading ’smear campaign’ and I was genuinely shit scared because what if yeolimeret decides to make one of them dishonest and to use the other for political gain… but thank kaisoo, that yet again we trust in the love they have for each other that we see kaisoo happy in the fic.

Surprising

Upon reading Pride, were there any thoughts that kept coming up? For one, the thoughts that kept recurring in my head were just… how is it possible for love to continue when both parties have hurt each other so much? How are they still somehow able to gravitate towards one another? It really pains me… this fic with its cruel twists and turns. When I say cruel here, it is not a slander against the author, but rather an acknowledgement of how their writing is very gripping and done wonderfully. The art of knowing when to say what happens, keeping the reader on their toes and sharing with us a beautiful story of how kaisoo’s love prevails yet again. Writing meaningfully so that readers are able to feel for the characters and love them in their imperfections.

Before I reached the ending of the pride where they mend their relationship in new zealand if i’m not mistaken, i was so so mad for like yeah i know kyungsoo is this prideful and have flaws but he didn’t deserve any of what people did to him including jongin (still completely unaware of jongin’s side here) because i know they have something stronger but it’s kind of cruel to have a love like they both have and kyungsoo needed to heal !! and honestly, i was ready to fall into the mode of “all of the forms of love sucks” hahahaha !!

I agree a hundred percent, I too was about to give up on kaisoo having their happy end… A scene that comes to me is the moment in the last few chapters when Jongin is seen on his knees and begging for Kyungsoo to stay. I couldn't help but feel so many emotions. The most glaring thought I have is what a bastard Jongin is. He is definitely not one a 100% but he has a lot of flaws and so does Kyungsoo… but i was just wondering as to how Jongin has really hurt a person who means a lot to him, and this person in turn loves him, why issit when Kyungsoo wants to set boundaries, it is very difficult for Jongin to accept that… The premise is ridiculous to me, but that is a reflection of their choices in the fic, again it is not a slander against the writer, yeolimerent really does a wonderful job and it is evident when you feel so strongly for the characters.

So my question for the both of you, Jie you go first: What surprised you the most in this fic?

Probably, the scene that surprised me was when kyungsoo chose to run away with Seonho. because at first i kinda expected that kyungsoo will probably leave everything with the much pressure and issues happening in his life, but the last thing i expected for kyungsoo to do is him choosing to live somewhere far away with his ex 😭. i don’t know because my first hunch is like Kyungsoo will leave but like, alone but then the author is like ✨surprise!!!✨i have this second thought that maybe jongin will go with him but it’s kind of blurry when jongin and krystal interact in other scene again ughhh.

Oooh that part! I found that scene really heartwarming in a way? I didn't expect that Kyungsoo would be running away with him too, knowing their history. Thank god they did that because I genuinely believe that Seonho, as a character, had a lot of potential, and yeolimerent took great advantage of it in the plot, which I love.

Right?! But i haven’t look deeper into seonho’s character there because i’m getting whiplash from kyungsoo’s feelings TT

I understand Jie’s point on it being surprising! You usually wont find exes spending time with each other… what more traveling and staying together…But interestingly enough it feels like a natural progression to have Seonho travel and stay with Kyungsoo. Yes they were romantically involved, but they are able to put the past behind and be genuine best friends without romantic feelings. And I also agree with Yu that Seonho was the best person Kyungsoo could have ran away with. They already knew and understood each other deeply because of their family backgrounds and I find their relationship to be very endearing… something very nice to read.

Yu, were you surprised at that point too? Or what other moments of the fic made you feel surprised?

When I first read this fic, I was convinced that Jongin had feelings for Kyungsoo the first time they met each other. I also feel kind of skeptical with my hunch since he always seemed like he's siding with Soojung and setting Kyungsoo aside? (Probably because he lacked boundaries huhu) However, I was genuinely surprised and CRUSHED when I found out that Jongin was in LOVE with Kyungsoo during his POV chapters. Jongin LOVED Kyungsoo way more than I imagined and probably more than Kyungsoo could ever love him back. For Jongin, all he did, especially during the 8 years they were apart, will always be FOR Kyungsoo. So, to answer the question, I know that Jongin had the hots for Kyungsoo from the start, but I wasn't aware that he was in DEEP.

I relate to what Yu said at her first statement. Like I was sooo convinced too! But keep getting sidetracked whenever there’s Jongin and Krystal interactions. But you know, i have half thought in my mind that i kinda expected that between kaisoo, one from them will be inlove hahaha my mind is like ‘come on! Someone should be whipped between them coz if i’m not mistaken i read a kaisoo fic and not kaistal or am raging lol’

HAHA, I too would be fustrated if it was a kaistal endgame… Okay so hopping onto that statement, that element of surprise of the fic yu, you mentioned being genuinely surprised and crushed upon finding out that Jongin was deeply in love with Kyungsoo. So how, upon going back to reading the fic for the second time, how did reading it impact you?

Well, rereading this fic already knowing the twist or the surprising part in mind, it made me analyze every interaction they have before leading to that point. I always pay attention to how Jongin will react whenever Kyungsoo does something and I felt frustrated why this man sucks at communicating his feelings and lacks boundaries to the point where Kyungsoo got badly hurt by the woman he was trying to protect. But then again, I realized that they were young and immature. When they reunited again after years of being apart, I actually saw how they both grew and matured, making more rational choices and not giving in to their impulses or defense mechanisms immediately unlike when they were young.

Wahh!! I love hearing yu’s insight regarding the fic ><

Yu, when you mentioned kaisoo upon being apart then reuniting again, how they both grew and matured, i agree with you to a certain extent. I think it is also a common thing with life. In general when we go through something traumatic or difficult, we pull ourselves away from the situation. Which Kyungsoo does.

Kyungsoo is soooo real for running away though like, that makes him a human and not like a true fictional character, if y’all know what i mean. Because it is human nature to run away when something inconvenient happens in our lives. And i do that too, but not like kyungsoo running away in other country, (i don’t have the money for that yet HAHA) to be honest, the scene where kyungsoo’s life was already fucked up (due to his dad) and no one believing him when his project got stolen, it is the maximum peak of pain tbh i’m GLAD he did ran away but i’m not glad that he got dragged back. Life sucks (with personal sentiments haha).

Yes exactly, so he left, but then a cruel twist of fate forces them to meet again. And the almost 10 years apart really has them thinking they have grown out of each other. But very evidently so, within the 8 years, we see the both of them yearning for each other despite being apart even after they hurt each other so much.

I agree! Despite lying to themselves that they only want revenge (in Jongin's case) and they moved on (in Kyungsoo's case), it is undeniable that did not stop thinking about each other for almost a decade they were apart. They are each other's greatest and true love.

Even in life, fate has this thing where it will test you. It will see if you have learnt from your past, learnt from your mistakes and sometimes if we do not actively practice how to train ourselves to be better, when put in the same position as before, that is the test. Will we make the same mistake again? Will we consciously and cautiously make a more informed decision? Will we learn from the past? Or will we make a worse decision?

And I think for Kyungsoo, after the intense shock he got from learning that Jongin is his superior, he slowly eases into the idea. Then he is reminded of his younger days where they were young college students. And because of the reminiscing, he falls into the same head space, the same habits that he had previously…

I think Kyungsoo going back to his toxic ways is a proof that he was not able to properly heal at all and was just repressing everything all this time.

and this time i found it to be worse? It is a very bad coping mechanism where both kaisoo are terrible at communication, so they resort to a very toxic cycle of sex… slowly overtime it does get better, but even when you believe everything is getting better, there comes a bigger whiplash that pushes kaisoo away from each other… i keep finding myself thinking wow, they really cant catch a break… and when they do it is very measured, you can feel the oncoming doom and it feels like a game.

To be honest, if kaisoo has good communication here the pride will be just two shot fic LOL.

Ok that is very true. That tension for conflict will always force the plot to move.

I agree with the toxic cycle they have especially when one of them has a view of sex can be casual too omg. I can remember I had a phase while reading Pride: I was like talking, throwing side comments as if Kyungsoo or Jongin from Pride could hear me. That's similar to when you’re watching a great movie and trying to talk with the main lead HAHAHAAHA. But i sorta think that kaisoo should have like longer periods of healing time before they go back as lovers :<

And for Jie, how did reading Pride the second time impact you?

I'm gonna be honest here because I don’t count myself as a huge fan of heavy angst stories because I know the effect they have on me. Yes yes I kinda expect that i’ll be asked why i decided to read when pride has complete tags. Sometimes, I have this mood where I want to read something beyond my comfort zone (tags like similar to pride, top soo fics and such) and I have that when I decided to save the pride in my bookmarks. My emotions during the first time reading Pride versus rereading it, didn't change at all, despite knowing what to happen anymore. I felt like I absorbed kyungsoo’s emotions and I feel the pain too when everything is not falling to his plans. My mood shifts perfectly depending on the scenes and the feeling of being scared despite already knowing what’s about to happen in the next scenes never left me even reading it in the second time 😭. I’ve always been anxious of intense emotions and it’s like a default emotion for me. The intense scenes just always give me the thrum of a different adrenaline rush every time.

I can relate to the adrenaline rush oh my! It is interesting that we are here today because Jie, you very passionately recommended this fic yet you are not a huge fan of heavy angst. So what are your favorite tropes to read if not heavy angst?

I believe I have a huge imaginative mind, because I love reading a lot of sci-fi and falling into the fantasy category. There’s always angst in every story, I don’t mind it as long as the story has an ending I’m satisfied with. Strangers to lovers is also an interesting trope for me hehe.

Your favorite tropes are almost the total opposite of Pride haha, so why Pride? What made you read this fic?

I’m gonna answer this with a different view of mine, the tags that the Pride have didn’t interest me a lot because as you said, it's the total opposite of what the tropes I love. I think I have taken the risk to read it because I’m actually trying to explore different tropes now compared to before. This fic totally stood out a lot to me this year (from all the fanfic I've read this year) . I pretty much regret not choosing it to read earlier than necessary because it has been sitting in my bookmarks for a year before I read it. And also I want to read something beyond the capabilities of my emotions (this sounds like i’m applying for a job LOL) . But for real, I opted to be more open minded in the tropes that I didn't quite like before and here I am! I loved it but probably it will take some time before I read something heavy like pride hehe.

That is quite stimulating to explore different tropes, making the choice to be more open minded. Eventually what gave you the push to finally read it? Was it from the summary or the taggings or someone else recommending it…?

I decided to read it amidst the stress I was having earlier this year. Maybe the stress or the will I have to be distracted at that time pushed me to reading pride. I’ve started reading the pride during my board exam (that’s like a national exam in the philippines that requires us to be a registered professional) but i managed to finish the pride after my board exam and got the results HAHA. Because I realized that I added more nerve wrecking emotions upon reading the few first chapters of pride. And I’m glad I did that instead of distracting myself during my review season.

What about Yu, are you a heavy angst reader?

I can't say I'm a heavy angst reader but I CAN say I'm a fan of it. Like if I'm going to rank it, it'll be in my top 5 fave fic trope, but I can never just casually read angst fics in my free time like it’s the morning newspaper, you know? I can only read angst fics when I'm in the right headspace for it, like reading angst that makes me sob on my bed at 3am haha.

Understand, understand.., reading angst when you are not in the proper headspace… may make your day suddenly gloomy.,,

Going back to the 5 questions that was asked for the discord submissions:

We have covered the first question on, a brief summary of the plot, character and premise. And just a few minutes ago the question on the impact this fic had on you.

Lesson Learnt, Fav Scenes, Why

The next three questions will be on: What has this fic taught you? And what particular scene was it in the fic that moved you? And why do you love this fic?

Let’s start with yu. Yu, what has this fic taught you?

Pride has taught me that pushing people away on purpose will not serve us any good and will just lead to more regrets in the future. Communicating what you truly feel to the one you love is really the key to resolve any issues or insecurities you have. I have also learned that what you think about other people or whatever their intentions are, may not be necessarily true and concluding things without properly talking it out will just result in more problems and as I have mentioned, regret and guilt.

I like your points. I want to expand on it a bit more, but before that upon identifying the two learning points for this fic, what is your favorite scene from Pride? Or what is a prominent scene that you always find yourself thinking about?

For me, my favorite scene in Pride was when Jongin went after Kyungsoo at the bar and he saw that Kyungsoo was kissing Seonho. Then their confrontation happened and Kyungsoo said a lot of hurtful things to Jongin and the latter was begging for him to talk this out. For me it was the turning point for Jongin to completely change his life and prove to Kyungsoo what he lost (which absolutely backfired because he's still whipped as hell with Kyungsoo).

Yes and this scene happens in chapter 11 titled ‘Escape Plan’ right? Could you do grace us by reading an extract from the chapter?

Jongin shuts his eyes, obviously bothered by the idea but chose not to acknowledge it. With pleading gaze, he takes Kyungsoo's hand again.

"Soo..." he mumbles shakily, "What's the problem? If I did something wrong... then I'm sorry. Let's go now, please?"

"Get off!"

Something pierces his chest when Jongin's eyes begin to glisten. But no, Soo's far from done. He'll end this once and for all.

"What? Still don't get it? Fine, I'll elaborate." he exhales a deep breath and flashes his casual smile, "You're an experiment. Get it? Flavor of the month, whatever the fuck you want to call it! And now I realize I actually prefer rich, fun assholes who can give me thrill—you're not it.”

End of scene.

So, what I really love about this scene is the intensity of both the characters’ emotions. I love how Jongin was mad at Kyungsoo for almost making out with his ex, it then turned into him begging for Kyungsoo to stop hurting him. On the other hand, Kyungsoo is blinded by his anger and pain with what happened with his father and Soojung that he resorted to hurting Jongin and proving him “wrong”. For others, it might seem that this part is all just for the sake of drama, but I genuinely believe this was Jongin’s turning point into reaching for his dreams and taking Kyungsoo back in the next chapters. He may have had different intentions (revenge) in the beginning, but at the end of the day, Jongin cannot resist his first love.

Thank you for sharing that scene. Intense emotions indeed. And with that it forces kaisoo apart.

A point i have after Yu mentioned having learnt that pushing people away does us no good, the scene that comes to me is a while after Kyungsoo goes back to Korea. To set the context a bit more, I think it was a few days after Seonho went back to Korea. After the scene in the carpark, Jongin brought Kyungsoo to his mansion. Seonho purposely made it seem as though Kyungsoo still had feelings for him, so Jongin got mad. In the car it really is very heartbreaking to see Kyungsoo cry and cry and cry… The moment that gets to me is the following day. Jongin takes Kyungsoo on a ride of nostalgia… Brings him to the furniture shop and then the diner… the diner where his last memories of the place were just so terrible… let me read an extract from the scene.

These are two bits from chapter 24 titled Not Allowed. Extract goes like this:

Soo keeps his silence and the hope falters on the other's face as he finally takes notice.

"Soo." he calls, "What's wrong?"

The designer shuts his eyes and firmly shakes his head again, "Nothing. Just tired."

Even the familiar noise around brings him a headache. Do you know that nostalgia that pierces right through you?

This is more than that. When he left this country and this life so many years ago, this place is one of the things he buried. He marked his own words not to step foot here again but here he is now, with Jongin right in front of him as if his whole life is a big joke.

Do you remember that? Soo asks himself as bitterness begins to stand out among the other glaring emotions, the last time you were here, do you remember?

End of scene.

You best believe i fucking CRIED! This moment, although short, you can feel the pulling of Kyungsoo’s heart. It is very distressing to read…

Yoooo this scene is actually painful and all, like I wonder how disappointed Kyungsoo is in himself for going back to the past he’s trying to run away and forget omg!!!

The next moment I will be sharing is the point on what Yu shared on communicating what you truly feel to resolve any issues or insecurities.

This moment is slightly after the scene I read a minute ago, and the extract goes like this:

Soo grits his teeth hard before looking at him.

"Why did you bring me here?" he asks between heavy breaths, "Of all places, why here, Jongin? Huh? Why Kare?"

Kyungsoo finally takes courage this time. He gains the guts to look at Jongin and ask. He watches how the other man's face completely softens. It's like he never thought he would have to answer this question soon.

"Because..." Jongin sighs in defeat, sounding calmer this time, "because this place is special to us."

Soo's eyes begin to glisten. He swallows hard before weakly looking at Jongin.

"You're being so unfair." he mutters pleadingly, "You're unfair. I don't need this. Please... just stop."

Jongin steps closer to him and Soo takes a step back by instinct.

"How am I being unfair, Soo?" he hates how hurt Jongin looks. Because this isn't the image he needs to guilt him every night when it's his right to move on, "You're the one I want. If I need to prove it in any way, then I will."

It feels like a strong blow for Soo. But more than anything else, he refuses to believe he's hearing it, too.

End of scene.

Here we find that Jongin does not understand why Kyungsoo is feeling and acting in a slight offensive manner. Kyungsoo actively and purposefully makes it very difficult for Jongin and builds up his walls so that he is unreadable… but these bursts of heavy and difficult emotions that bubble through the walls makes it very confusing for Jongin. Kyungsoo definitely does not share his true, honest and vulnerable thoughts. And as a reader the miscommunication part hurts.

Jie, how about your learning point of Pride? What did this fic teach you about life?

This fic actually helped me to understand more and give me deeper insights about the flaws of each person, the differences we have and what we need to work out for ourselves when we’re making bonds to other people. And also adding that no matter what happens to your life, you only have yourself as your best pal because even the most trusted person you have, will not understand you and can be the reason for your downfall. BUT then no matter how painful we went through, moving on and forgiveness is important.

I agree, moving on and forgiveness is indeed important in life.

And jie, share with us, what is your favourite scene from Pride? Or what is a scene that you think about when you think of this fic?

I think in all of the scenes in Pride, my favourite scene of all time will be the part where kyungsoo and baekhyun mend their broken friendship. I really love the part where despite being hurt, kyungsoo still cares for baekhyun and tries to help him in any way possible and all while protecting himself too. I can’t really put much into words but I do find it beautiful that they both still managed to fix their bond together and in the end, it’s baekhyun’s turn to help kyungsoo in a way for him to finally settle on the person that makes him happy. They both want happiness for each other and it’s just so genuine.

Ah, chapter 26 titled Make It Up To You… with that, Jie, Could you do us the honor of reading an extract from that chapter?

"You can never lie to me, Baekhyun.” Soo looks in front, pausing to drink, “We could stop being friends and I’d still know you better than anyone.”

The other man’s expression is hard, obviously tugged in his most fragile spot. But then, his lips begin to quiver. Baekhyun bites it hard before looking away.

“Just tell me.” Soo tells him without any display of emotion once again. He doesn’t know what Baekhyun wants to get from him so he keeps it neutral.

“I thought we’re not friends?” Baekhyun grins again but the pain is slowly resurfacing on his face now, “I don’t really need your sympathy right now, Soo.”

“I’m not giving you sympathy. I want to hear it and by the end, I can decide if you’ve been an idiot or not. I can even make you feel worse if you’d like me to.” Kyungsoo says without batting an eye and the other boy is speechless again, “Just tell me everything and stop keeping it in, dumbass.”

End of scene.

I just love how Kyungsoo is not giving Baekhyun sympathy for what's happening to his old friend’s life. But because it’s only Kyungsoo who knows him since day one, it’s also him who can only understand what’s happening to Baekhyun. Friendships are falling into platonic relationships already, so what Kyungsoo and Baekhyun have in this scene is a huge factor that helped them both heal from their personal issues. Friendships deserve closures too just like romantic relationships, and this scene gave them the closure they both need. I think it’s beautiful that when Kyungsoo managed to mend his bond with Baekhyun, his bond with Jongin came after.

Thank you for sharing that scene. I really like the point that friendships need closure too. The people you meet in life, friends and family… Relationships and generally life as well, it is a journey. There are moments we may not necessarily get along and our relationship with them may not be the best, which we see from this fic that it is perfectly fine. Because who knows?

Yes you may have a difficult friendship, but after the wound from the friendship has mellowed down a bit, there are opportunities, as Jie mentioned, to mend the friendship. As long as both parties are still well and alive, nothing is set in stone, there is always a choice to build that burnt bridge.

Now ladies and gays and kaisoo listeners of the podcast, we have come to the end of the last segment. This segment we looked at three different points of learning from Pride and each of us read a moment in the fic that holds a special place in our hearts.

We have reached the end of the episode, so yu and jie, do you have any other running thoughts that you have that we did not cover today, be it thoughts on the fic or your experience in the podcast today?

First of all, If I could, I would like to send a huge love for yeolimerent for writing such a masterpiece. She has put me on a thrilling roller coaster of emotions that I’m so torn from crying or loving her story. But as always, love wins!! She wrote the characters to perfection with their flaws and I think that’s just so amazing because I could never do that huhu. But anyway, I’m so glad that I took the risk of reading Pride because I got to learn a lot of things that I could put into real life. And I’m sooo happy that I get to share this experience with Yu and my dear Alexio. I honestly thought I wouldn’t be able to make this podcast but then, I’m so glad that you made the discord, and meeting you is one of the main highlights of my year. Sending forever love to kaisoo and kaisooists < 333

Aw, you are so sweet. I am also very grateful. Thank you for joining the discord, thank you for coming on the show with Yu and I.

For Pride, I really want to say thank you to yeolimerent for creating this masterpiece. Reading it every time is always an experience. The way the plot unfolded, the characters and their flaws were curated, and the emotions were unveiled is just chef's kiss. As for the podcast, it has been an honor to be a part of this episode and the fact that I get to talk about something I'm really passionate about. I hope I get to do things outside of my comfort zone more often and I wanted to say thank you to you and Jie for having me here.

Yu and Jie, you are both most welcome, and it is a joy to have hosted kaisoo readers today. I will relay your sentiments to yeolimerent. This is the end of the podcast episode, but this is not the end of our journey together as kaisooists, and as kaisooists in the discord, because there are many things to engage in, in the server. I do hope to see the both of you, and our dear listener for this episode, coming in on the discord!

Dear listener, the link to the ao3 for Pride will be given below in the notes section.

With that, as I mentioned earlier in the episode, we will get a chance to have a chat with the author of the fic. So tomorrow’s tomorrows’s episode will be with yeolimerent!

New episodes either every 13th of the month, in commemoration of kaisoo day in january, or 12th and 14th of the month.

To reach me, i am kaisooficdrunk on twitter and if you want you can drop me questions on my curious cat you can do so with the same username. There will also be another link that brings you to my tumblr blog with the transcription for today's episode. There you can also find the other scripts for other episodes as well.

Thank you for listening, have a good day, dear kaisooist, and we look forward to the next episode. Stay tuned.

#kaisoo #fanfiction #fanfiction literature #jongin #kyungsoo

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