#JusticeInvolved

[holdmyhooch]

Seeking New Cellmate

If you ask anyone who truly knows me, they'll tell you I possess impeccable coping skills and emotional maturity beyond compare. I'm currently two years into my marathon panic attack known as county jail and awaiting transfer to prison. I've survived it once before and I have some idea of what to expect. I've almost got my crying down to about twenty minutes before I go to sleep each night except for when I rented Five Feet Apart on my tablet which doesn't count. That's new. We're each assigned a tablet now and we can rent movies for just $9. We can earn that in just forty or so hours. Unless someone with DSS or a job loves us. Or we start a journal and try to guilt strangers on the internet into giving us money and if I could convince my family to set up a donate button.

My case is closed. I no longer have an attorney to advise me not to write a journal and put it on the internet. All our communications are monitored and living under the eye of Sauron, aka the district attorney, is a lot like running for office except you've got nothing to gain and everything to lose. They can (and they do) take anything we say out of context and use it to turn us into moustache-twiddling cartoon villains just itching to get your children to some railroad tracks.

They know we're afraid to be indicted. It's a declaration of war. The only reason plea bargains even exist is because the courts are always endlessly backlogged and it'd be impossible to take each and every case to trial. There's virtually no standard of evidence during indictment. They throw absolutely every additional charge they can think of at the wall to see what sticks because they have no reason not to. We have no right to legal representation during the proceedings. We do have the right to take the stand and speak on our own behalf. But those of us with enough sense to heed our attorney's advice waive that right. There's nothing we can say that'll improve our odds. The only way to go is down.

The case becomes public information. If the media get involved the prosecution gets an audience and they start considering the impact the case will have on their career. Words like "consecutive" and "for each count" start coming up. If we're here because we turned down a plea bargain, this is when we begin to experience fantasies about discovering our hidden time-travel powers.

And if we win? Double jeopardy doesn't apply in cases of dual sovereignty. And if they can make a case for interstate commerce violations, and they usually can, the feds can claim jurisdiction. Did the case involve anything at all that was manufactured or purchased outside of the state where we were charged? Welcome to the feds. At least the food is better and if we're lucky we get to ride in an airplane.

We don't have mirrors in here but I was told by an angry guard who was looking for a big white guy with a beard that I'm a big white guy with a beard. I'm only missing my wisdom teeth and in here this makes me a member of the One-Percent. Because I was popular in high school, I read a lot of fantasy and science fiction. Other inmates, being highly observational creatures, see all this reading, teeth-having, white-being business as cause to believe I'm smart. They are mistaken. They ask me questions I don't know how to answer. Questions about complex legal concepts. Questions about how to make chloroform. Sometimes, when I tell them I don't know, they get upset and ask why I always be actin all smart and knowin shit.

I'm not smart and most days it doesn't feel like I be knowin shit at all. But as they say, in the land of the blind the one-eyed man is king. Except not exactly. I don't run things in spite of having lived on this tier longer than almost any other inmate. I don't possess any jailhouse leadership qualities like "charisma" or "intimidation" or "spider web tattoos." I know this because one time the jail librarian asked me if I'm a gamer. She said her son is and that we look alike. Her son honestly seems pretty cool and I bet he was also popular in high school. I told her I'm not really much of a gamer. I have several hundred hours in Stardew Valley and over five hundred games on my Steam account.

I try to be true to myself in here. The tough guy act only actually works on TV. It'll work on a few people. But someone always sees it for what it is and it almost always ends with an alarm going off and some track-marked, bargain-bin MGK lookalike being dragged to the infirmary while the rest of us are choking on OC spray.

In the before-times I lived the American Dream. I made a comfortable living in a respectable office job that I hated. I still don't miss it. Fuck you and your burnt microwave popcorn, Kevin. I'm presently employed as that white nigga who be drawin shit sometimes. I don't really draw that well but I know how to trace and sometimes it's enough to earn a tasty honeybun.

I usually don't charge for drawing. I enjoy doing it. It lets me feel like I'm releasing a little dove of happiness into the world. The "for no particular reason" cards are my favorite. They have such a beautiful purity that can't be bought or sold. Like when a father asked me to make a SpongeBob card to remind his daughter that he loves her and he thinks of her. Obviously I told him that intellectual property theft is a crime that hurts us all and that I'm not about that. But still, it was a nice thought. My other neighbor asked me to do a card of him and his wife holding hands in a meadow wearing Trinitario green. It was still better than the guy who made me do a handkerchief under an implied threat of violence.

I'm the official unofficial librarian. My family sends me books and I'm pretty good at making reading recommendations. The secret is to use stereotypes. If someone's name is Murder, this is a valuable clue - Murder probably doesn't want to read The Secret Garden. What really keeps him turning those pages are "hood books." This is a literary genre I never knew existed until jail. It seems like an acquired taste.

But people do still surprise me. The most voracious reader I've ever encountered was Stretch. He had burn scars all over his torso and giggled as he told me it was because he was too high to notice he'd set himself on fire while cooking a batch of meth. But the reason he was in prison was because he and his friend got drunk and thought it'd be fun to have a pellet gun war. The kind used for hunting small game, not the kind Ralphie wanted for Christmas. His shot caught an artery and his buddy bled out. YA and fantasy were his favorite genres. He really liked reading David Dalglish.

I'm unaffiliated. I applied to the Latin Kings one time but the guy, whose name was Sin and looked like an old witch, told me I had to get my weight up. Then they went and recruited this kid who wasn't even as fat as me which was a clear case of favoritism. I ate so many honeybuns for nothing. Well, not really nothing.

I live with mental health issues. Most inmates do. Except the ones who say they don't and they're usually full on poo-slinging crazy. A couple of days ago one of those guys thought his family was on top of the TV and had a meltdown. He went to the box for an individualized off-camera rehabilitation session. My therapist diagnosed me with major depressive disorder, PTSD and mommy issues so I'm on a robust dose of antidepressants and benzos. At least on the outside. They give out Suboxone like leftover Halloween candy but benzos are "dangerous and addictive controlled substances." So they gave me sedatives instead. Stopping benzos cold-turkey is risky and dangerous so they entrusted me with a urine sample jar filled with Gatorade powder. They even let me take it back to my cell. You should only stop taking a prescription medication under doctor supervision or with a delicious sports drink. They have electrolytes which is what plants crave.

The psych meds help but a fellow inmate once told me I shouldn't take them because "chemicals be messin witcho brain." But he liked smoking funny cigarettes that smelled like that time somebody at work plugged two croc pots into the same power strip. So I'm on the fence. Figuratively speaking. They get mad if we get too close to the fence.

I also live with a chronic pain condition. It started getting really bad during my previous bid. I wasn't able to hold a coffee cup without using both hands. I couldn't open my jaw wide enough to bite into an apple. I struggled to walk sometimes. I put in a few sick call slips and a few short months later this old guy in a white coat claiming to be a doctor told me it's because we all get aches and pains. I showed him my hands. One thumb was swollen and about twice the size of the other. He explained that they don't have to be the same size. We agreed to disagree and I settled for ibuprofen. He hadn't realized he was dealing with a master negotiator.

After my release I showed a real doctor my "asymmetric thumbs." He reassessed the initial diagnosis of aches and pains and referred me to a rheumatologist who diagnosed me (on sight) with a disorder that causes my immune system to hate my hips, thumbs and most recently my knees. Flare-ups can be triggered by stress but since prison is such a laid-back environment I suspect some combination of exposure to mad rhymes, farts and being shouted at for asking for toilet paper.

This journal is my new therapy. I hear adaptive coping is the new vogue. You know what you get when you crack a beer and douse your life in napalm? A lifetime of regret and several mildly interesting stories. Prison is an ancient, forgotten crawlspace filled with dead, rotting animals, novelty beyond measure and always more questions than answers.

I'm going to offend people. Partly because it's impossible not to but also because I want to tell the truth as I've experienced it. My intent isn't to upset anybody and I really do try not to. Otherwise I'm just a troll and that's so 2008. What I really want to do is amuse, enlighten and delight and possibly give you something to read while you're pooping at work.

Those of us who've been incarcerated live a different reality. When I say something stupid or insensitive, try to think of me like when your grandmother says the colored girl you brought to dinner was a pleasure and even had excellent hygiene. Or better yet, like Joe Biden. I mean well. Bless my heart.

Prison culture is regressive. We haven't even implemented safe spaces yet. I've seen gang members slash the faces of their own friends just for associating with transgender inmates. We segregate ourselves, we beat our chests and we fight over whether Drake gets more money than LeBron. I was in a facility that had to go into lockdown for a week when a disagreement between two classy ladies in the visit room lobby escalated into a gang war that resulted in dozens of cuttings and stabbings.

Thank you for reading. I hope you've enjoyed my first post. Failing that, I hope I've at least inspired you to leave rude comments that my family won't tell me about because they think I'm emotionally unstable. I intend to write as often as I can. Unless this isn't an overnight success and I get discouraged and in that case fuck you you'll never understand my talent.

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[scy-chicago]

National Suicide Prevention Month

September is National Suicide Prevention Month and World Suicide Prevention Day was observed on September 10. SCY discusses the importance of access to mental health services and the impact that community-based resources can have in preventing youth suicide.

SCY focuses on violence prevention for youth and young adults and recognizes that contact with the juvenile justice system heightens the risk of suicide. Access to mental health services must be readily available for anyone who needs them. In order to reduce teen suicides, youth must know they have access to counseling that can help their mental health and allow them to work through traumatic events.

As part of suicide prevention month, SCY is highlighting two partner organizations in the Chicagoland area that are doing laudable work in combatting depression and other mental illness, particularly in youth, and in turn are reducing their risk of suicide.

It Only Takes One is an organization with the goal of ending suicide in Illinois. They carry the belief that sometimes it only takes one thing to encourage someone to get help: a hug, a conversation, a smile. In order to prevent suicide, It Only Takes One is committed to educating the population about suicide. For example, they value teaching allies to recognize suicidal behavior, understand available resources and how to help a suicidal person. It Only Takes One hosts trainings and conferences in order to educate organizations and community members and increase public awareness of the need for suicide prevention efforts.

Treatment Alternatives for Safe Communities (TASC) is a state-wide organization in Illinois that strives to reduce the risk of repeated incarceration due to substance abuse or mental illness. For youth, they have two specific programs. Youth Alternatives to Detention served 2,138 Illinois youth in fiscal year 2014 by providing substance abuse intervention and case management for those involved with the criminal justice system. Youth Detention and Community Reentry finds young people safe homes after they are out. In fiscal year 2014, this program helped 459 youth.

SCY advocates for reducing the stigma associated with depression and other mental health disorders. In order to reduce stigma, we must provide young people with resources to help themselves and others understand their illness. This month, we encourage you to become a more informed advocate and ally for suicide prevention and survivors.

Learn more about suicide prevention and mental health:

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

American Association of Suicidology

Suicide Prevention Resource Center

National Alliance on Mental Health

Mental Health American of Illinois

[moiponholidays]

Justice-Involved Veterans Find Help and Hope in Special Michigan Court

Justice-Involved Veterans Find Help and Hope in Special Michigan Court

FLINT, Mich., Nov. 8, 2014 /PRNewswire/ — The Genesee County Veterans Treatment Court is more than a courtroom. It’s become a living memorial to those who have served their country, and it’s one of more than 130 documented Veterans Treatment Courts now operating throughout the U.S.

The Genesee court, launched in 2013, was inspired by a staffer for the Genesee County Probate Court. She lost her…

[scy-chicago]

National Suicide Prevention Month

September is National Suicide Prevention Month and today is World Suicide Prevention Day. SCY discusses the importance of access to mental health services and the impact that community-based resources can have in preventing youth suicide.

SCY focuses on violence prevention for youth and young adults and recognizes that contact with the juvenile justice system heightens the risk of suicide. Access to mental health services must be readily available for anyone who needs them. In order to reduce teen suicides, youth must know they have access to counseling that can help their mental health and allow them to work through traumatic events.

As part of suicide prevention month, SCY is highlighting two partner organizations in the Chicagoland area that are doing laudable work in combatting depression and other mental illness, particularly in youth, and in turn are reducing their risk of suicide.

It Only Takes One is an organization with the goal of ending suicide in Illinois. They carry the belief that sometimes it only takes one thing to encourage someone to get help: a hug, a conversation, a smile. In order to prevent suicide, It Only Takes One is committed to educating the population about suicide. For example, they value teaching allies to recognize suicidal behavior, understand available resources and how to help a suicidal person. It Only Takes One hosts trainings and conferences in order to educate organizations and community members and increase public awareness of the need for suicide prevention efforts.

Treatment Alternatives for Safe Communities is a state-wide organization in Illinois that strives to reduce the risk of repeated incarceration due to substance abuse or mental illness. For youth, they have two specific programs. Youth Alternatives to Detention served 2,138 Illinois youth in fiscal year 2014 by providing substance abuse intervention and case management for those involved with the criminal justice system. Youth Detention and Community Reentry finds young people safe homes after they are out. In fiscal year 2014, this program helped 459 youth.

SCY advocates for reducing the stigma associated with depression and other mental health disorders. In order to reduce stigma, we must provide young people with resources to help themselves and others understand their illness. This month, we encourage you to become a more informed advocate and ally for suicide prevention and survivors.

Learn more about suicide prevention and mental health:

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

American Association of Suicidology

Suicide Prevention Resource Center

National Alliance on Mental Health