#Just watched The Parent Trap with Lindsay Lohan last night for the first time (which is long overdue tbh) and yeah.

[kittylover776]

Fiona: You wanna know the real difference between us?

Margaret: Let me see... I know how to rule and you don’t... Or I have class and you don’t? Take your pick!

[hermesmultivitamins]

astra inclinant

im recovering from surgery and I went to take a nap and then I got a story bug about a b.echo breakup and four hours later this happened idk man

read on ao3 here

And I’ll take care of you

Along the way

My love one day at a time

We’ll leave our troubles behind

-The Hunts, Along the Way

~~~

In hindsight, there were dozens of times that she should have seen that it was over.

On the ring, he called out Clarke’s name in his sleep sometimes, occasionally muttering something about leaving her behind afterward. It was the times when he didn’t cry, when he smiled as if the dream involving his best friend was pleasant instead of the nightmare of leaving her behind, that left her with a sick feeling she tried to ignore.

Echo never mentioned it in the morning. Clarke was gone, and no amount of talking about it was going to bring her back.

(She tried not to let it hurt when he woke up and a flash of disappointment came over his face, as if he’d been expecting blonde hair next to him instead of brown).

Echo should have known--and perhaps did, but refused to accept--that it was over when the nightblood child said his name.

(In six years, seven months, and some odd days, she had never heard Bellamy’s voice as full of hope as when he said “ Clarke’s alive ?”)

The moment finally comes some 130-odd years later on a planet endlessly far from Earth.

She’s in a meeting with Abby, Kane, and Indra on the bridge of the ship when Emori bursts through the door.

“Abby, it’s Clarke,” she says.

Echo follows the rest to the hospital wing, unsure of what to do, and her heart breaks for both Bellamy and herself at the scene.

Clarke is laid out on the table, blood gushing from her side as Jackson works furiously over her. Bellamy stands off to the side, soaked in blood that that is not his own. He leans into Murphy, who appears to be half holding him back, half supporting him.

“Let them work,” she hears Murphy say to him. “She’s lived through worse, a little stab wound isn’t enough to take out the great Wanheda. Our princess is tougher than that.”

Suddenly, Echo knows she doesn’t belong in this moment, and with one last fleeting look at Bellamy, takes her exit.

Bellamy doesn’t return to their cabin that night, and in the morning Echo goes to check on him. Murphy is standing in the doorway, and updates her quietly on Clarke’s condition.

Clarke’s asleep on the bed, her heart monitor beeping gently. Her prognosis is good, Abby had said, the antibiotics should take care of potential infection and the wound would heal. And still, Bellamy had refused to leave her bedside. He sits in a stool, slumped over with his head pillowed on his arms that rest on the edge of her bed.

Murphy gives Echo a look full of pity, and as she follows him out of the room, she wonders for how long he’s known it was over for her.

~

Bellamy doesn’t take a break until Clarke opens her eyes, and even then it’s just to go get her some food. Echo stops him in the hall. She knows what he’s going to say before he says it, so she speaks first. At least she can do this on her terms.

“You’ll never care for me like you care for her,” she says. Her tone is without malice.

“Echo, I...” Her heart flutters for a moment, a brief hope that he’ll say she’s wrong.

“I’m sorry,” is what he says instead.

“It’s okay, Bellamy,” she says, and then: “Go. Be with her.”

~~

Jackson passes Echo and Murphy in the hall on his way to check Clarke’s vitals. He smiles gently at Bellamy’s sleeping form next to her. Nate had been right about these two.

“Bellamy?” Clarke says upon waking before her eyes even open. He’s there, holding her hand. Her eyes flutter as he sits up. “You shaved,” she says, bringing a hand to his cheek. “You look like my Bellamy.” He smiles as a tear rolls down his face, and says in a voice so low Jackson isn’t sure if Clarke even hears him: “I’m always yours.”

~~

John Murphy was a witness to the very first Clarke and Bellamy interaction (and many since), but this was by far the most ridiculous. The surgery to repair Clarke’s injuries had been fairly substantial, apparently making it difficult for her to sleep. Madi, ever the meddler, had casually let this slip while eating breakfast with Bellamy, who had immediately gotten up to have a word with Clarke about this. The solution to this was of course to have Bellamy stay with Clarke in her cabin.   Platonically . Madi bounced from room to room saying it was “so Clarke could sleep better”-Lindsay Lohan had nothing on this girl. On the fourth night of Bellamy platonically staying with Clarke, it was Murphy and Emori’s turn to take Madi. He was hesitant at first-he and Emori had been making up for lost time since they reconciled, but Madi’s doe eyes and the way she said “please Uncle John” were more convincing than if she’d pulled the commander card.

But of course, Madi forgets her sleeping clothes in Clarke’s room so of course Murphy has to get them because Madi and Emori are “girl bonding” or whatever.

Which is how he sees the most Ridiculous Clarke and Bellamy Moment of All Time.

Bellamy is asleep on his back, with Clarke tucked into his side. His arm is wrapped around her, his hand resting just below the area where she’d been injured. Her free hand was splayed across his chest, and Murphy could not believe that Bellamy, who was finally single and more muscle-y than ever after six years in space with nothing to do but exercise, was wearing a shirt while in bed with the woman he’d been in love with for literally over a hundred years.

Murphy laughs and grabs Madi’s pajamas, wondering if it would take the two leaders another hundred years to figure out what everyone else already knew about them.

~~

After negotiations with the Eligius Three decedents begins, Kane understands immediately why Harper and Monty had Jordan wake up Clarke and Bellamy first. They are natural partners, knowing what the other is thinking without words allow them to work seamlessly together in order to secure a future for their people.

It was impressive, how in sync they were, and for once, there were nearly no hiccups in planning peace, until of course, the issue of Madi comes up.

The leader-Artemis, her name is-of the Eligius Three people had listened to the story patiently, staying in surprising silence as Bellamy explains the history of the commanders and Madi’s role in it.

“So your child, she is the leader of your people?”

“She is an important figure to our people, yes. But she is a child. And we intend to let her grow up without the responsibility of leading her people.”

Kane does not miss the way Bellamy doesn’t correct Artemis when she indicates toward both Clarke and Bellamy when she calls Madi “your child.”

“Alright, Clarke and Bellamy of the Sky People, you have yourself a deal. You may establish a settlement here, on our land. In exchange, your doctors will train our healers, and we’ll work together to build a hospital.”

There was of course, more to this deal, but this was the gist of it.

Seemingly forgetting their status as esteemed leaders for a moment, Clarke turns and throws her arms around Bellamy. He lifts her up in celebration, spinning her around.

Peace, Kane thought, this is what peace looks like.

~~~

There’s not too much to do aboard a spaceship full of hundreds of sleeping people.

Monty had built a still, but thanks to his status as a new dad, he and Harper hadn’t had much of a chance to use it. But a few months in, Jordan was finally sleeping through the night, and Harper and Monty have the night to themselves. Monty would have never guessed he’d one day use his engineering skills to build a breast pump, of all things, but he had, and Harper was finally able to enjoy the moonshine Monty had made a year before.

All of the time without alcohol has killed their tolerance, and the young parents find themselves horrendously giggly after just one drink.

“Do you think Clarke and Bellamy will ever get their shit together?” Monty asks. Harper laughs into her pillow.

“The world was literally ending and they didn’t hook up. Besides, he’s with Echo,” Harper responds.

“Oh because that’ll definitely last with Clarke around.”

They both broke out into giggles again.

“That’ll be our project, when we get back to the ground,” Harper says. “Remember that movie Murphy kept watching on the ring? We’ll do that to them.”

“ Parent Trap ? That’s perfect--remember how Jasper used to call them Mom and Dad?”

For once, the mention of Jasper makes Monty smile.

“Sounds like a plan,” he says. “We’ll get Bellamy to cut his hair and then we’ll Parent Trap them.”

Harper rests her head against his shoulder. “Then maybe their lives will be as happy as ours.”

~~~

They name the town--upon Bellamy’s suggestion--after someone whom without they would have never survived long enough to find their peace, and the sign above the gate reads “Lincoln Village.”

Primary construction had finished, and with the help of the locals, the survivors from Earth finally had their settlement.

Not that they needed an extra reason to celebrate, but Murphy and Emori had selected they day that the last house was finished for their wedding, and the whole encampment came together to throw the biggest damn party any of them had ever seen. It didn’t start to wind down until well after dark, when Murphy carries his bride across the threshold of their newly finished home.

Still, some of the Earth survivors--who Octavia jokingly referred to as Earthkru--remain by the fire, roasting treats and trading stories.

Clarke leans against Bellamy, his arm wrapped around her as her head rests against his shoulder. Madi’s laying down with her head in her mother’s lap, her face one of intrigue as she listens to Bellamy’s story.

He can’t remember a time in his life where he felt so at peace, and for this moment, all of the hardship and struggle he’s faced is more than worth it.

Madi gasps--interrupting the story by pointing towards the sky. “Look! Shooting stars!”

She jumps up excitedly, and runs to find a better view with Octavia in tow.

“Can you wish on this kind of shooting star?” Clarke asks Bellamy.

He looks at the girl in his arms, and then at Madi and his sister, laughing at looking up at the sky through the trees.

“I wouldn’t even know what else I could possibly wish for.”

[arttheweapon]

5 songs that made 10 year old me FEEL things

Our story begins in the year of our lord 2006. It was a different time, a simpler time. I still had a bright yellow CD-playing Walkman, which I mostly used to listen to The Indigo Girls’ album Rites of a Passage while I rollerbladed around my backyard (I wasn’t allowed to go outside of it yet). All my cred came from my pink Razr phone, which could only be used to call my parents in emergencies. That is to say, I had no cred.

Picture, if you will, this girl: 10 years-old. Bad hair, worse teeth, a purple and orange Moosejaw t-shirt. Summer in rural Michigan. That kid is walking up the gravel road from her grandma’s house on the lake to go feed the horse that lives a half mile away some wrinkly apples. She’s stolen her older brother’s iPod, and is JAMMING to all the songs her mom doesn’t want her to hear. Songs like Ben Folds’ cover of Bitches Ain’t Shit, and pretty much all of Green Day’s discography. Just picture it. Fat red cheeks, crooked center part, and temporary butterfly tattoos.

Nostalgia is cool again, so here is the list of songs that made that kid up there feel things, things she had no context for, no name for, but felt nonetheless.

Honorable Mention: Monster by Meg and Dia, Here’s to the Night by Eve6, Miserable at Best by Mayday Parade

5. White Houses by Vanessa Carlton

Let me preface this by saying I first heard this song through a Teen Titans amv on Youtube. If I didn’t mention that this whole segment would be dishonest, because to this day I still think of Raven when I hear this song.

That being said, 1000 Miles ain’t shit compared to this song. I remember watching the actual music video and wondering if she had a twin, because I didn’t know that video editing existed (I was similarly confused upon watching Lindsay Lohan’s best work, The Parent Trap). Is this song about losing your virginity at ballet camp? Yes. Did I know that? No. I had never had a crush on a boy in my life. Perhaps that’s the fault of excessive Indigo Girls listening, but I digress. When I listened to the quiet, wounded “maybe you were all faster than me”, I was touched. Yes, Vanessa, in my heart it is the five of us. Did I even have five friends? Debatable. But in my heart they were there, in white houses.

4. Iris by GooGoo Dolls

Admittedly, this song is not from the emo days, but you can’t deny that it has that spirit. I have no doubt it was an influence. I mean, seriously, “everything is made to be broken”? That is some emo shit right there! I eat it up every damn time! At ten years old, I didn’t know this applied to hearts or souls, I thought it was a very sad song about dishware. But god, that broken plate got me. I was ready to get the super glue. Also, “I don’t want the world to see me, because I don’t think that they’d understand”? HOO BOY. I relate to you, sad ghost with broken dishes. I relate.

Every time this song plays in the vicinity of my parents now, they fondly recall how four year old Claire thought the lyrics were “everything hates to be broken”. Honestly? That works too, but is a little more Paramore-esque than the real lyrics. See Let the Flames Begin from Riot! (2007).

3. Dark Blue by Jack’s Mannequin

I had never been to a school dance, because elementary schools don’t have those last I checked, but this song is how I imagined it would be. Alone in a crowded room. It would flood. An ambulance would be there, picking me off the floor. This, right here, is a prime example of pop-punk boy voice. The pounding piano, nasal tones, and declaration of isolation marks it clearly as a product of its time. If I’m being honest, it still goes hard as hell.

2. It Ends Tonight by All American Rejects

It Ends Tonight made me feel some sort of deep existential sadness. I had no idea what was ending, but I was mourning it with my whole little heart. The long trick is over, people, it ends tonight. Tyson Ritter asked for a little insight, and as a literal child, I had none, but I sure felt that maybe it was best you leave me alone. Leave me alone to feed these apples to this horse. I mean, this song made me feel at least as sad as when in the first grade I drew a picture of my family under a rainbow and another kid ripped it up. At least. The music video for this song is like a modern version of Nocturne in Black and Gold, shooting off fireworks into an inky black sky and watching the lights sparkle and die. I’m sure that’s what they were going for, I’m sure they’re huge fans of Whistler.

1.Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance, and actually just all of The Black Parade

Where it all began. The Black Parade is a lot of angst to be contained inside of one little body, but there I was. Famous Last Words was my favorite, filling me with some sort of manic zeal for life. Living just to spite the enemies inside your own head didn’t register at all, because at the point my head was all friends. All I knew is that it made me feel powerful, and ready. The download always skipped just a tiny bit at the opening of the guitar solo in Welcome to the Black Parade, which persisted no matter how many times I played it. Probably because my brother downloaded all his music off of Limewire. I remember sitting on the bus on our class trip to the zoo and mouthing “misery and hate will kill us all”. I showed my friend Meghan the music video for Ghost of You (yes I know that’s from Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge, I’m not an amateur) and definitely cried over Mikey Way tragically dying on the beaches of Normandy. I was slightly scared by Gerard Way but that was probably just because I was attracted to him and didn’t know what to do about it. In any case, he was a masterful storyteller, and I hung onto every word. If you can make a midwestern child raised on puppies and glitter with no mental health struggles (yet) feel all that emotion, you are something super special.

Also, I run an MCR blog now so we all know how this story turns out.

[kentonramsey]

How to End a Zoom Call, and Other Dilemmas: 9 Quarantine Etiquette Questions, Answered

Which do you want first: the good news or the bad news? The bad news is that we are having some trouble communicating these days! The good news is that we have every intention of being well-mannered. I drew these conclusions after fielding questions from the MR community and via MR’s Thoughtline for our etiquette column. The quest to answer these inquiries reminded me of one of artist Jenny Holzer’s Truisms, which has been installed on movie theatre marquees and engraved in benches, and says: “It is in your self-interest to find a way to be very tender.” Together, we navigate quarantine-era social anxieties, equal parts tender and tongue-in-cheek, below. Pinkies up!

How do you end a phone call or a Zoom when the person on the other end knows you have nowhere to be? —Fleet-of-Foot Fletcher

Conversation termination, a covetable skill indeed. Remember that scene from the 1998 Parent Trap in which one of the twins takes a phone call in a closet and fakes a “lost connection” by crinkling a candy wrapper into the receiver? The point I’m trying to make is that this issue has plagued people since Lindsay Lohan was a pre-teen.

A few suggestions of my own:

“Well, it appears this conversation has reached its logical conclusion this evening.”

“Well, it was wonderful to hear your voice, Sebastian, I’m glad we got this opportunity to talk.”

“I have to send something for work.”

“I keep a busy schedule these days so I must be on my way.”

Over Instagram, a few other people chimed in with ideas: “Fake another Zoom call,” “Pretend you’re starving and need to cook dinner or else you’ll perish,” and “If you live with someone else, say you made plans to watch a certain movie.” Might I suggest Stranger Than Fiction with Will Ferrell? There’s an entire scene where he sings a Wreckless Eric song with his eyes closed.

Someone else suggested wrapping things up with the phrase that is anathema to any conversation: “Well, I better get back to my taxes!” (The deadline to file was extended from April 15 to July 15.) This could be a good strategy, I think, although I did this in earnest a few weeks ago while I was filing my taxes. Then I didn’t call my friend back, and I think we’re in a fight now. Please confirm, Maxson?

I’m too tired and anxious to talk to my friends, plus I have FaceTime and Zoom fatigue, but I feel bad ignoring them. —Distant Dolores

I feel this—I think virtual socializing is exhausting and is in some ways a greater undertaking than regular-socializing, because the pool of possibility is much more expansive… you’re not limited to the local social circle you usually pal around with! Any one of your friends in any location is available to talk! Mehta in Maryland! Daniel in Des Moines! Adelaide in Abilene! They’re all waiting by the phone. I still have friends that I haven’t arranged a time to talk with yet, and I schlep some of that guilt around my house every day.

For this, I recommend the art of deferment: just let your friends know, “I’m feeling spread pretty thin right now, but I’d love to talk next week,” or in a few weeks, something to that effect. I think you should give yourself ample space now, but here’s why I recommend an open-ended postponement: I was down in the dumps, in an uncharacteristically pessimistic and deflated mood last night. The overwhelming sense of negativity left me feeling exhausted and depleted. I had a scheduled phone call with one of my closest friends, which felt like another task to tick off my to-do list, but once our faces met side-by-side on FaceTime and we were joking about a silly thing that happened in 2013, I felt buoyant again. Never underestimate the power of the “I’m-so-glad-I-did-that-even-though-I-almost-bailed” feeling.

How to reach out to friends when you don’t like FaceTime? —Enshrouded Ellis

We are in the middle of a correspondence crisis! We used to delineate modes of communication by use case. Now that we use e-mail and phone calls and video chats and text messages for work and for play, for maintaining our every relationship, they’re all mumbled and jumbled and any previous delineation we’ve assigned to these modes feels fairly meaningless. I love an old-fashioned phone call myself, which allows you to walk in mindless circles around your room while your friend prattles on about The Real Housewives or the dream she had last night. I recently accessed a memory I hadn’t recalled in years, of talking to my crush in the sixth grade over my landline (if that doesn’t do much for you, this Vogue story might warm you to the idea).

The other way I recommend checking in with your friends when there’s not much to catch up on and when you don’t like FaceTime: uncover the holy grail of iMessage stickers and send a funny one your friend’s way as a little nugget of levity that doesn’t require much from your friend in return. A handful I recommend: the Unicorn Tapestries, the Rejoinders, Hieronymus Bosch’s Garden of Earthly frights, Medieval Monsters or Medieval Reactions. Nothing says, “I’m thinking of you,” like an albino giraffe painted 500 years ago.

Part 1. How do you stay in touch with friends without getting annoyed by “What’s new?” Because, nothing! —Same-old Sylvester

Let’s give ‘em somethinggggg to talk abooooouuuut, Sylvester. If you have roommates or cohabitants, designate one dinner as a themed night, as inspired by illustrator and all-around creative mastermind Lea Carey. She transformed her dining table to replicate Brooklyn’s beloved upscale burger joint Bernie’s, where they have crayons on the table and where my friend Levi once told me Adrian Grenier was sitting near us at the bar but it wasn’t him.

If not, reply to “What’s new?” with a quick “Funny, I was just going to ask you the same.” That should suffice, no?

I’m showing up late to class on Zoom. What’s a good excuse? —Tardy Tatiana

“My dog ate my homework” seems plausible now more than ever.

How do you hang up on work calls? Do you just say, “Okay, bye?” —Departing Daisy

“Hasta la vista, baby!”

How to encourage housemates to use headphones while taking video calls in shared space? And how do I politely tell someone I live with that they need to shower more often? —Hygienic Holly

I find that sometimes, by making things into a joke, you can often reverse-engineer some seriousness and create some tangible change. This is why I recommend a gold-star board for your and your housemates’ achievements during quarantine. Areas to be applauded with a stellar sticker include: frequent showering, inserting their headphone jack into their computer, Swiffering with a smile. Each day that everyone in the same household gets a gold star in a category, you take a five-minute dance break. If you get five gold stars for a certain category over five consecutive days, you get a free pass to skip a shower, drink Cool Whip in your coffee, or work from bed one morning.

Neighbor’s door slamming at 6 a.m. wakes me every day. Do I leave it because these are shit times? Or should I write a note? —Exhausted Edward

I think you should write an uber-polite note and slide it under that noisy door. Your neighbor likely has no idea that this ritual is becoming your unwanted alarm clock, and by kindly pointing it out and asking if there’s some way it might be avoided in the future, they may feel endeared to you and most of all, empathetic.

A set weekly social zoom call feels more mandatory than fun. Can I not attend? —Requisite Richard

Spontaneity is just as valid a sensation in quarantine as out. Some people find social structure comforting; others find it claustrophobic (I err towards the latter camp myself). I suggest that you opt to join in on a biweekly or monthly cadence and just let your friends know that’s how you plan to engage. No reason necessary—you are free to carve out your available time in the same ways you were under pre-March 2020 circumstances.

Graphic by Beth Sacca.

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[iheartsurveys]

158

How old were you the year your favorite movie came out? So I've said for pretty much every survey I'm asked this that Silver Linings Playbook is my favorite movie, but last week I watched The Parent Trap (Lindsay Lohan's version) twice and now I'm like jk maybe that's my favorite... Maybe I'll say both are, idk picking favorites is hard anyway I'll shut up now and answer the question... I was 4 when The Parent Trap came out and 18 when Silver Linings Playbook came out Whose birthday is coming up soon? It's probably a FB friends birthday tomorrow or soon after. My stepdad and nieces birthdays are at the end of this month What’s your favorite place to get sushi? I'm not into sushi actually. I've never been overwhelmed the few times I've tried sushi so yeah What’s your favorite Paul Rudd movie? Clueless and The Perks of Being a Wallflower are two of my fave movies that he's in, though idk if you'd count them since he wasn't a main character really in either? All the comedies he's been in are great too, like anchorman or role models Have you ever been involved in Direct Sales Marketing and if so, what company? No Do you know anyone who lives in Hawaii? I don't think so When was the last time you applied lotion? I put moisturizer on my face a few hours ago What’s your favorite way to eat a potato, ex.: chips, fries, baked, etc.? Um all of the ways? Potatoes are delish. Maybe baked if I had to pick one Do you delete people from Facebook if their views are vastly different than yours? I have in the past if they're 1. Always saying ignorant shit and 2. Someone I'm not too close with. If people I'm kind of close with i.e family members constantly post stuff like that, I'll just unfollow them on fb Are you planning on having kids? Does that question annoy you to no end? I'm undecided. I'm not in a relationship, and I think having kids is something you should discuss with a partner sooo yeah. I have names picked out though lol so I'm kind of more into the idea than I used to be, but not for a while and being married first is a def prerequisite Have you eaten your favorite food in the past seven days? Probably not What was the last phone conversation you had about? Mom asking what I wanted for dinner Do you have a Snapchat and do you just add things to your story or do you send snaps to individual people? I do both What’s the closest thing to you with someone’s handwriting on it? My planner on my desk What’s your favorite thing to put on bagels? Just cream cheese What’s the most important key on your key ring? The only keys I have on there are my house and car key, and I'd say both are pretty important Do you have Spotify and if so, what’s the last song you listened to on it? I have a free account, I use Apple Music more. Not sure what the last song I listened to on Spotify was What was the last argument you got in about and who was it with? I don't remember How many social media outlets do you have and which ones? FB, twitter, insta, Snapchat, Tumblr obvs, and Pinterest At what age did you start picking out your own outfits? I'm not sure tbh, sometime in elementary school probably Have you ever been to a Rocky Horror Picture Show Shadowcast where people act out the movie while it’s playing and the audience yells things callbacks? I haven't but I'd love to How spicy do you like your food? I'm a medium spice kinda gal Do you have a scented-wax warmer? My mom does in the living room Who’s your favorite director? I don't have one, I don't really pay attention to directors When was the last time you walked through your front door? Yesterday morning What would you do if you accidentally got pregnant? Have an abortion. I'm single and not sleeping around and on birth control though so I think I'm good Bats: cute or gross? Cute Are you going to or did you see the new Star Wars? This must be a little old because I don't think there's any new Star Wars movies out, but even if there were, Star Wars isn't my thing so I wouldn't What’s your favorite Netflix show? I haven't watched a lot of Netflix originals tbh, I need to get on that but I also have like 1000 shows I want to watch. A Series of Unfortunate Events is the only one I've watched entirely and I loved it, can't wait for the next season What was the last really intense pain you felt? I burnt my knees/shins at the pool on the 4th and it hurt so bad trying to sleep that night...don't burn your knees that shit hurts