#Just a lil drabble I wanted to create cause I was listening to mushic and got ideas

[peachgirllikesapples]

I held my arms tight as I looked to towards my window. The night sky made all the city lights glow with all sorts of colors and the rain that poured hard distorted those colors.

It was actually beautiful, but I cant appreciate such a beautiful scene right now. I was to caught up in my own head, I was to caught up in the mixed feelings I had for Umaso.

"... He'll have to go back right? To his own world, I knew this, I know this... But I dont want him to go." I tightened my grip on my arms as the tears flowed down my face. 'I dont want him to choose that other person, but what right do I have to make him stay. That person must feel like I do if not worse right? But I dont want to let him go that easily-no at all!' I hate my conflicting mind, it was a nuisance, I was a nuisance, I really needed to make up my mind.

Touching my hand on the window it was cold as I curled my fingers into a fist. Staring at my reflection I yearned to leave here and find Umaso.

But I couldn't, it wasnt right of me to go and influence his decision. It was his choice, I shouldn't make him stay, I sighed.

"Its not fair... why did he have to be born in another world? Why couldn't have I been in his world? Sure I wouldn't like meeting that other person but at least it would be a more fair chance for us fighting over Umaso..." At least then I wouldnt feel guilty on feeling selfish.

I hated crying like this, what good is there to cry if you don't have a solution? Trying to wipe my tears away I looked to my phone and opened the messenger app. It took me right away to mine and Umaso's chat and I smiled at the ridiculous text he had sent me a few hours ago.

"Geez do you make everyone fall for you? I really wonder whose heart cupid will shoot with the rejection arrow... well when I think of it, it will be me after all you do have to return."

'...You'll go back to that friend of yours and reconnect and be way better than before.' With my tears coming back I wiped them again and again but they wouldn't stop.

Be selfish and guilty

Or

Be broken hearted and sad

'Damnit...Damnit.....Damnit!! Screaming in my head I ran out of my room and the out of my house. Not caring about being soaked or getting sick I just ran until I felt my heart was about to explode.

When I finally stopped I leaned onto the nearest tree and pounded away at it.

"I'm sorry, but I like him to, I-I WONT LOSE HIM TO YOU!" I yelled to the sky, guilt weighed on my heart, I didnt like it, but I was someone who had never been selfish before.

I listened to my father and brothers and abandoned my dreams, I stopped dressing in cute clothes. I gave up a lot of things just to make my life easier.

"But I dont want to live like that anymore-I-I dont want to give him up! I want to be selfish and have him all to myself. I wont let you have him! and if you come here I'll fight you! And win!" My words were only for me, that other person would never hear them. It was refreshing, being like this.

'Though honestly I hope you never come here...' It was horrible to wish but my greedy self didnt care.

I smiled as I looked around at the lights around me. The weight in my heart lessened as I finally made my decision.

"Now I just need to figure out how to tell him my feelings." I spoke softly while gently hugging myself as I walked through the city. Finally I could appreciate the beauty of the scenery.

"This is definitely the right decision." My smile wouldnt fade as I made my way to the hotel Umaso was staying at.