#Johnny scenario

[trrsseea]

Bookshop

pairing: Johnny x reader

warning: non

Johnny took you to the little bookstore you were rambling about all week, and you were so excited to pick out some books you've been meaning to buy. Plus, the little bookstore created such a peaceful and relaxing atmosphere, that you couldn't help but be enticed by the beauty.

"Pick whatever you want." Johnny said nonchalantly. "I’ll pay." Your eyes widen at him, in shock that he was so cool about this.

"It's fine I can pa-" He gently cupped your jaw as your eyes met. "Let me pay, please."

"Really? Are you sure?" your eyebrows furrowed in response.

"Y/n," Johnny started, bending to whisper in your ear. "I am paying and that's final."

Your heart fluttered at the heat of his body so close to yours. You didn't think Johnny noticed the peak in your heart rate, but you knew he could tell when you looked up to find him smirking.

"So, I'm going to go get coffee," he gave you a gentle kiss on the top of your head before eyeing the bookshelves. "Have fun book shopping, my love. I'll be back in 10."

"Maybe in 20?" You smiled innocently at Johnny.

"Buy as many books even hardcover books as you want," Johnny laughed, knowing how much you loved the hardcover books.

"I will be back in 30." Johnny smiled and headed towards the coffee shop.

Johnny left you surrounded by the enchanting aroma of books and the soft rustling of pages being turned by other people in the shop. The bookstore held an undeniable charm, its narrow aisles filled with shelves stacked from floor to ceiling with books of every genre imaginable.

You began pursuing the shelves, running your fingers along the spines of various books, each one a potential treasure waiting to be discovered. As you explore the aisles, you start to stock books in your hands.

You found yourself drawn to a section of your favourite literature, you picked up a beautifully bound hardcover edition of your favourite book. Questioning if you should buy another version of it or not.

As you continued your research, you stumbled across a few other books you were hesitant to buy, and Johnny´s encouragement gave you the courage you needed.

When you turned into the next aisle, you heard "I see you've been busy." Johnny teased you with coffee in hand and a big smile across his face.

Johnny placed both cups on the empty shelf and walked towards you to pick up the books in your arms, he carefully took them "Are you sure these are all the books you wanted?"

I looked at him and smiled "I think so."

While Johnny headed to the checkout with all the books I had chosen, I took both cups from the shelf and headed after him.

[queeenarii]

I should be asleep but I'm writing this instead.

🔞minors do not engage🔞

Not proof read

CW: bottom! Johnny Suh, top reader, slight praise kink

I want. No need to ride Johnny into the sun set. Just imagine it.

Not even doming him. Just like letting himnsit there and enjoy the show.

Hes horny out of his mind, but also very tired from a long day of filming. All he wants is his baby, in his lap.

He pleads, his beautiful brown eyes shimmering with hope. The offers a compromise you ride him and hell give you head. You take the offer, even though his pouty face was more than enough to convince you.

So now here you are. Johnny's broad back is flat against the mattress. His blunt nails dent your waist, promising some light bruising tomorrow. Your concentrated on his face as his nose scrunched and his eyebrows curl together, plesure evident. Johnny's eyes open slightly, and a deep groan reverberates through the room. Your beautiful body on moving on top of him is almost enough to make him cum.

His moans and the slight buck of his hips spurs you in. You focous on your pleasure just a bit reaching down to provide your self some relief. At this Johnny sits up on his elbows, watching you intently. He starts to groan out praises.

"So fucking tight" he says, his head lolz back and his eyes flutter close."such a good hole".

That spurs you on more. Your hips pick up their pace. Your orgasm so close you can taste it. Johnny seats your hand away replacing it with his own. His other hand pulls you close by your neck. His breath lightly fanning over yours as he stares deep into your eyes. "Gonna cum for me pretty"? He quips, " come on baby, I want to see it" he says.

He dives into your lips. Kissing you deeply with passion. His youngest dances with yours, the kiss feeling both novel and homey.

Then it hits, you can almost feel the blood running through your system. Johnny leans back again. Enough to see you loose your composure on his cock. The sight sending him mover the edge too.

You sit and swivel your hips until Johnny begs you to get off, his dick spent and his needs more that satisfacted.

[starrynctzen]

[9:28 pm]

johnny has no idea what the future holds for the both of you

but right now

in this moment

with you in his arms

placing kisses on your forehead

he doesn't care what the future holds

good or bad

he doesn't care what happens

as long as he's with you

[strrykais]

1-800-hot-n-fun [johnny suh]

when you find a phone out and about, wanting to return it to the owner, only for you to get stuck with a guy who wants to give you three wishes.

nct masterlist

permanent taglist: @thatsatricky1 @jungaji @totheseok @mystverse @goldenmellow @skysole

[v1si0n]

JUST GIVE ME A REASON (J.JH)🪐

SUMMARY: you didn’t think think you could possibly hate performing at your schools spring showcase until you were paired up with your mortal enemy, Jung Jaehyun. but you guys are singing a love song, and god knows what love songs do to youngins like you.

GENRE: enemies(ish) to lovers , college au, performance arts majors! y/n and jaehyun, humor, fluff, tiny bit of angst, lovers in denial but its just y/n LMFAO

WARNINGS: profanity, jokes about death, inaccurate depictions of performance arts majors, jaehyun and y/n are constantly at each others necks but in a kinda cute way…?

NOTES: AHHHHHH my first actual written piece!!!! i’ve had this fic partially finished for a LONG ass time and i’m finally releasing it for you lovelies to read💗💗💗hope you love it as much as i do :)

WORD COUNT: 15.5k

TAGLIST: @shiningnono @stickwme2 @mmjhh1998 @bluedbliss @peachfulnight

♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪ (๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪ (๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪ (๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪ (๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪

its in the stars

it’s been written in the scars on our hearts

When Mark Lee told you that Professor Kim would choose the pairs for this year's talent show, you believed it wouldn’t be too bad.

You were wrong. So humiliatingly wrong.

There you were, staring at the bulletin board outside the classroom, shocked and angry to your very core. You read the line with your name over and over again hoping, praying, that it was somehow a typo.

“Jung Jaehyun?! He paired me with Jaehyun?” You shrieked, your best friends Mark and Donghyuck snickering from beside you.

“Hey, he’s a pretty good singer,” Mark nudges you. You glare at him and he holds his hands up in defense.

“He’s a dick is what he is, Mark! You can’t possibly tell me you still like him after what he did to me,” You huff. Mark is scared to answer, but much to his delight, Professor Kim steps out of the classroom to greet students.

“Ah, Y/N! I take it that you’ve seen who I partnered you up with,” he smiles.

“Prof, can I please switch? I’ll perform with anyone else just not him,” you plead and he laughs directly in your face.

“Nope. No changing or switching partners.”

Your eye twitches.

“Prof-“ Your voice is scarily low, and this cues Mark and Hyuck to whisk you into the classroom.

“I’ll kill him, I swear,” you grumble.

“Listen bub, just stick with it for this performance. Three weeks of rehearsal and two nights of performances. You can do that,” Hyuck says gently, patting your head in an attempt to calm you down.

You mumble a “fine” under your breath and make your way to your seat. You stare blankly as the students pile into the lecture hall, one of them being the one and only Jung Jaehyun himself. He catches your eye and smirks, obviously having seen the list outside the classroom. You see him stray away from his original seat, making a beeline for the empty seat next to you that you use to hold your bag.

“Hyuck, switch seats with me,” You slap his arm repeatedly.

“What? No, I always sit in the middle,” He brushes you off as he takes out his laptop.

“Mark?”

“Sur- Actually, I think I’m good,” He smirks.

You look at him in confusion and realize he’s watching Jaehyun as he approaches you. He taps Hyuck to alert him, and now they’re both laughing under their breaths. You make a mental note to get new friends.

Jaehyun is now standing in the aisle, beaming at you with a shit-eating grin on his stupid face.

“Hey partner, mind moving the bag?”

“The seats taken,”

“No, it’s not, just move your bag.”

“I don’t want to,”

“Y/N-”

“Here! I’ll take your bag my sweet,” Hyuck pipes up from next to you. You stare at him in horror as he takes your bag and winks at you, placing the bag under his feet.

“Thank you, Donghyuck,” Jaehyun smiles and plops himself down next to you.

“Of course Jaehyun! Any friend of Y/N’s is a friend of ours,” Mark quips, and you burrow your head in your hands with a groan.

You’re banging your head repeatedly on the table as the boys begin talking about the upcoming performance, and you silently pray to yourself that God would take you out at this very moment.

“Aw, don’t act like that, partner! We’re gonna have so much fun.”

Jaehyun puts his arm around you and pulls you closer to him, causing you to thrash around and accidentally elbow Hyuck in the chest. A loud groan is heard throughout the lecture hall and everyone turns to look at him, and Mark offers an apologetic smile.

“Donghyuck and Y/N. Let’s keep quiet back there, yeah?”

You both mumble apologies to Professor Kim and glare at each other. Mark shushes both of you and points toward the front of the class, and you direct your attention to the screen. The words “SPRING SHOWCASE” glare back at you in ugly bold letters.

“Students! As you all know, the spring showcase is only a month away. This year, the music department and I have decided to assign partners rather than letting you choose, as to avoid constant repeats.” (READ: Mark and Hyuck high-five under the table.)

A chorus of complaints is heard throughout the lecture hall, the loudest being you, Mark, and Hyuck. The Spring Showcase was your guys’ favourite time of the year because it meant you three doing what you love most together, then getting to show it to the entire school.

“Prof! The whole point of the spring showcase is to showcase our talents! What if we’re paired with people we don’t work well with?!” You exclaim, and Jaehyun scoffs next to you.

“Yeah, Prof! What if our partner constantly has a stick up her as-“

“Funny! Considering the fact that during the winter showcase the microphone stand actually almost went up your a-”

“That was the tech crew's fault! I didn’t know the mic would rise so soon!”

“Let's avoid talking about such things in the classroom, please.” Professor Kim pipes up. You both roll your eyes at each other and you feel Donghyuck pat your head again.

For the next hour, you’re pretty sure Professor Kim is probably mentioning crucial information about the spring showcase, but all you could think about was the living nuisance that was Jeong Jaehyun. His very presence next to you was driving you up the wall and knowing that you would have to see him every day for a month straight made your face feel hot with rage.

“That’s it for today's class! All pairs must submit their songs by the end of the week! Group rehearsals start as soon as every pair has submitted their song choice.”

Students start slowly trickling out of the lecture hall as others linger around to talk to friends. You slump down into your seat and stare into the distance, Mark and Donghyuck making small talk with Jaehyun as they pack their bags.

“Y/N? Are you listening?” Mark nudges your shoulder gently. You shake your head, still staring off into the distance.

“We said let’s go grab lunch near campus,” Hyuck holds your bag out for you.

“How can you even eat in this situation?” You sigh dramatically.

Your friends roll their eyes at you, while Jaehyun smiles, almost contently, at your misery. He puts a hand on your shoulder, causing you to scowl and turn your head to look at him.

“I’ll see you guys later. I’ll be waiting for your text partner,” He winks at you and you make a face.

“Please run in front of a bus.”

“Only if you’re next to me!” He calls out as he leaves the lecture hall.

You decide right then and there that it wouldn’t be too bad if you were sentenced to death row.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

Fridays usually meant two things for you and your friends: One, the canteen would be serving ice cream, and two, all of your classes ended early.

With that being said, it became a tradition for you three to meet after class at your designated table in the canteen with your respective ice cream cups in hand. However, this Friday was a little different.

“Is that Y/N I see?”

You’re picking at Donghyucks ice cream when you hear an aggravating voice shout from across the room. You cower in your seat out of embarrassment, your friends snickering at the boy desperately trying to get your attention. He rushes over and slides into the seat across from you.

“Y/N? My dearest partner?”

“What the hell do you want, Jaehyun?” you say through gritted teeth.

“Aw, did our sweet little princess Y/N not get enough sleep?” He reaches over to pat your head and you swat his hand away. “Did you think about what song you wanted to do with me?”

“Just give me a reason,” you mumble with a mouthful of ice cream.

“Um, for the showcase? For an honors student, you’re kinda dumb, babe.”

You choke on your ice cream and Mark stifles a laugh from beside you.

“The song. Just Give Me A Reason by P!nk and Nate Ruess.”

Jaehyuns smirk falters. The tips of his ears glow red as Donghyuck stares at him with judgment written all over his sunkissed features.

“Yeah, right.” He clears his throat and rubs the back of his neck. You could practically see the gears turning in his head as he searches for a comeback. “Bit of a hard song for you, no?”

“Worry about yourself and your pre-pubescent voice cracks,” You state calmly, not having to look at him to know you struck a chord.

“That happened-“ He shouts, lowering his voice upon realizing he was getting stares from the people around him, “years ago. My throat was dry.”

“It was last year,” Mark states, earning a pointed glare from Jaehyun.

“Whatever!” He throws his hands up in exasperation and stands up to leave.

“So that’s a yes?” You call after him as he walks away from the table, and he flips you off in return. You take that as a yes.

“Good song choice for you guys to fall in love,” Hyuck mumbles as he licks his spoon clean.

“Pardon?” You raise an eyebrow at him.

“A love song for lovebirds. Good one,” He says almost matter of factly, and you look around the cafeteria.

“Are the lovebirds in the room with us?”

“He’s not wrong, you know. Every boy/girl duo that has done a love song ended up in a relationship within 24 hours of the showcase,” Mark points his spoon around as he talks.

“You guys seriously believe that? It’s just Music Department superstition, nothing else to it.”

You swirl your spoon inside your cup of melted chocolate ice cream as you ponder. You vaguely recall the buzz around the two seniors last year who kissed on stage after their duet.

“I can’t believe you’d call it superstition! It’s deep rooted lore thats an important part of our history as music students!” Donghyuck exaggerates.

You roll your eyes as he begins his deep dive into the stories surrounding your department. As he nears the end of his rambling, you feel a tap on your shoulder and turn.

“Yes, Soojin?” You muster a smile as you look at the girl in front of you.

Kang Soojin. Your campuses day one it girl and the bane of your existence. To be fair, you would’ve never had a problem with her had she been a decent human being towards you from the start, but for some unknown reason you found yourself bearing the brunt of her hatred since highschool.

“Why was Jae just talking to you?” Her high-pitched voice pierces your ears and you wince.

“Who?”

“Jaehyun? Jung Jaehyun? Don’t act stupid,” She snaps.

“Oh, he’s my partner for the spring showcase. He was asking what song we should do,” You blink at her.

“Try not to stick around him too much. You’ll rub off on him and I don’t need that,” She snickers before turning on her heel and walking away.

You’re left absolutely flabbergasted, processing her words before turning to your friends with your mouth agape.

“What the fuck?” You whisper, struggling to come to terms with what just happened.

“She does not play about Jaehyun,” Mark lets out a low whistle.

“Why is she talking to me like I want to be around him? I was literally forced into this,” You huff.

“Wait, hold on,” Hyuck starts, hands beckoning you and Mark to come closer. “You guys know Johnny? I heard him telling Doyoung that Jaehyun rejected Soojin in front of all her friends on Valentine's Day. She cried and everything.”

“What an asshole. No wonder why the poor girl is always pissy,” You mumble.

“Maybe she’s pissy towards you because her man wants you,” Mark wiggles his eyebrows and you make a face.

“Ew, no. Never put that into the universe,” You shake your finger at him.

“You won’t be saying that after the spring showcase,” Hyuck sings, licking the last bit of ice cream off his spoon.

You mumble profanities under your breath and narrow your eyes at the boy in front of you, but a tinge of anxiety bubbles in your stomach. As sure as you were that you could never possibly develop feelings for Jaehyun, you truly don’t know what could happen after spending that much time together.

You shudder. You can’t afford to spiral too deep into your thoughts right now, especially in front of Mark and Donghyuck who watch your every reaction like hawks. You let out a fake cough in an attempt to regain composure.

“So, what should we get for lunch?”

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

your head is running wild again

my dear, we still have everything

Your first week of rehearsals with Jaehyun was nothing short of a nightmare.

His incessant teasing and nitpicking had begun to drive you up the wall, and quite frankly you don’t think you’ve ever been closer to crashing out.

“Professor! Y/N won’t act like she’s in love with me and it’s ruining the stage chemistry!” Jaehyun calls out from the stage, much like a fifth grader snitching to their teacher.

It was a Friday evening in the auditorium where your class had been rehearsing for the spring showcase. You and Jaehyun had barely finished singing before his features were taken over by his stupid signature smirk and he asked to stop the song.

“Um, while I don’t believe she needs to pretend to be in love with you, I do believe you are lacking a bit of emotion, Y/N. This is a love song, and well, you don’t exactly look too pleased to be sharing the stage with Jaehyun,” Professor Kim articulates carefully, looking at you expectantly as if he could see the impending breakdown written all over your features.

You offer a tight-lipped smile to your professor, knowing that he was right but you could not, for the life of you, muster a smile in Jaehyun’s presence. “Can another pair go now? I need a minute.”

Professor Kim nods and you quickly walk off, stomping backstage and down the stairs before beelining for the auditorium exit. You push the doors open and step into the corridor, huffing out a breath as you try to collect yourself.

“Great, this is the perfect spot for us to practice,” Jaehyun pipes up from behind you as he shuts the door.

“God, why did you follow me?” You groan, making the mistake of turning around just in time for him to run right into you, “Ever heard of personal space?”

“I’m practicing,” He shrugs, not budging from his spot. You attempt to take a step back but he steps forward, and you swear you were on the verge of a psychotic break.

“Jaehyun, if you don’t step the fuck back-“

“You need to be better at pretending that you love me, so I’m helping you,” He remarks, his smirk widening at the way your face flushes.

“What the hell are you talking about? I don’t need your help,” You put both hands on his chest to push him away, but your efforts prove to be useless when he grabs both of your wrists with one hand and tugs them down.

You can feel the embarrassment start to settle in at the realization that Jaehyun was definitely trying to get a reaction out of you right now, and it was definitely working in his favor. Each step you took back, he took forward, his hand still holding onto your wrists.

“Now if I’m not mistaken,” He pauses, tapping his chin thoughtfully, stepping forward and effectively trapping you against the wall of the corridor, “I think you have a little crush on me, sweetheart.”

You try to rack your brain for any sort of comeback, but all that comes out of you is a weak scoff, “You are mistaken.”

Jaehyun chuckles darkly at your weak argument, the sound sending chills up your spine as you press yourself impossibly closer to the wall.

“Is that so? Is that why you can’t even look me in the eye right now?” He lowers his head so that you’re both face to face, and your cheeks burn a bright red when you indeed can’t meet his scrutinizing glare.

“That’s what I thought,” He scoffs, releasing your hands in favor or pressing both of his against the wall behind you, efficiently caging you in between his arms. “Tell me sweetheart, why do you keep pretending that you hate me?”

The question catches you off guard, your brows furrowing at the accusation that was just thrown at you. You manage to regain your composure for long enough to speak up, “What makes you think I’m pretending?”

“Just a feeling I have,” He shrugs, “and maybe because I let both of your hands go for quite some time now and you have yet to push me away. Would you like to tell me why that is?”

You look down at both of your hands and back up at him, heat rushing up your neck and painting your cheeks a scarlet hue. You shove his chest and let out an exhale when you’re free from the confines of his arms. You mentally curse yourself for standing there gawking at him like an idiot instead of pushing away sooner.

“Both of our lives would be much easier if you admitted it, Y/N,” He sing-songs from behind you, his voice giving away the obvious smirk that was plastered on his face.

“Admitted what?” You turn around with your arms crossed.

“That you like our little game. That you don’t hate me like you want everyone to believe,” He states simply, tucking his hands into his pants pocket.

Something about the way he was so sure of himself almost convinced you that he was right, that maybe you put on this act because there was something ugly and complex buried beneath the surface. Before you can allow your thoughts to consume the space between you and Jaehyun, you shake your head to get rid of them completely.

“You’re delusional,” You mumble weakly, turning to walk back into the auditorium. You can hear Jaehyun’s laugh from behind you and you grimace, quickly walking back to your spot where Mark and Donghyuck look at you with taunting eyes.

“So…you and Jaehyun took quite some time outside. Mind sharing with the class what you two did that has you looking like that?” Hyuck rests his chin in the palm of his hand as he tilts his head curiously at you.

“Looking like what?” You frantically smooth a hand over your hair, uselessly tugging at your top as you try to remain presentable.

“Let’s see. Red cheeks, shaky hands, glossy eyes, and,” Mark pauses to lean in closer to you, inhaling briefly before he nods and pulls away with a hum, “You smell like him.”

Your eyes widen as you bring your arm up to your nose, cursing when the familiar scent of Jaehyun’s cologne tickles your nostrils. “It’s not what you think, we just talked.”

Donghyuck furrows his eyebrows with a slight pout, rubbing his chin in mock thought. “Now, correct me if I’m wrong Mark, but talking to someone usually doesn’t end up with you smelling like them. Am I correct?”

“I’m afraid you are correct, Donghyuck. I’m curious, Y/N. Do you usually go home smelling like one of us after we’ve talked?” Mark prods, and you groan, running a hand over your face in frustration as your friends continue to tease you.

As Mark and Donghyuck continue their unrelenting jokes beside you, your eyes flicker towards Jaehyun’s form as he walks back into the auditorium with his hands in his pockets. His eyes catch yours and his lips immediately curl into a smirk, his left eye dropping to a wink as he regards you with a hint of amusement on his features.

Despite the way you narrow your eyes at him, your body almost doesn’t allow you to look away from him even after his eyes refocus on your professor. Your eyes trail from his eyes to his nose, stopping involuntarily at his lips as he rubs them together. You’re entranced by the way his tongue darts out to wet the surface, and you grow more frustrated by the second at the way the beating of your heart betrays the nagging in your brain that tells you to look away.

For a second, you’re almost convinced he’s doing this on purpose, putting on a show because he knows you’re watching, and your suspicions are confirmed when he turns his head to the side to look at you, his smirk resurfacing when he notices the way your eyes remain on him.

You will yourself to look away, clearing your throat as you try to calm the drumming in your chest. You straighten your posture in the uncomfortable wooden seat before your phone vibrates in your lap and you try to look down at it without drawing Mark or Hyuck’s attention.

jaehyun: still denying it?

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

you’re not broken just bent

and we can learn to love again

Monday mornings were on the long list of things you didn’t like.

It was the only day out of the week that you had a 9 AM class, and to make matters worse you shared that class with none other than the anti-christ himself.

“Psst. Y/N,” Jaehyun whispers from the seat behind you.

You rub at your temples and take a deep breath, doing your best to remain calm and not commit aggravated assault.

As your professor walks in, you turn to get your laptop out of your bag, only to notice it wasn’t hanging on the back of your seat where you left it. You turn to the boy behind you with a pointed glare, and your eyes flick down to your bag in his lap.

“Jaehyun,” You warn.

“Y/N,” He mocks your tone.

“Give it back,” You reach over to grab your bag but he leans back to avoid your touch.

“Why should I?” He teases.

You pinch the bridge of your nose to ease the headache that was forming. “You’re holding my bag and you’re asking me why I need it back?”

“Tell me what you need and I can give it to you,” A taunting smile makes its way onto his face and you feel your composure slowly slipping.

“Jaehyun, I swear to fucking God if you don’t-“

“Alright students, let’s begin our lesson for today. I need all eyes to the front,” Your professor's voice cuts through the room and you clench your jaw.

“You probably need your laptop, don’t you?” Jaehyun jeers, pulling your laptop out and waving it in front of your face. You start to wonder what you did in your past life to deserve this kind of karma.

You grab the laptop from his hands before he can change his mind, turning your attention toward the powerpoint that’s projected onto the screen.

As your professor carries through the lesson, you type your notes fervently to keep up with his words. Your laptop dings and a notification pops up in the corner, causing your eyes to divert from the powerpoint to your screen. Your face sours when you see Jaehyun trying to Airdrop something to you, and you quickly hit decline before refocusing on your professor. You’re only able to regain your focus for a few seconds before another ding catches your attention. You decline the Airdrop request, pulling out your phone and typing out a rather angry message to the idiot behind you.

you: can you stop being annoying im actually trying to pay attention

jaehyun: you’re texting me🥺🥺🥺

jaehyun: what’d you save my name as ;)

you: jaehyun ???????

jaehyun: no heart emojis ?? wheres the love ;(

you: there is none

you: now leave me the FUCK alone or you won’t make it home after class

jaehyun: just accept the airdrop i promise you won’t regret it :))

You roll your eyes at the message before a notification pops up on your phone that makes your jaw drop. It was an Airdrop request from Jaehyun, your screen showing a picture of him standing in the mirror shirtless with his sweatpants hanging low on his hips. You ogle for longer than you’d like to admit, your eyes scanning the dips of his abs and the way his hip bones peek out from the waistband of his sweats. You shake yourself out of your daze, tapping the screen rapidly to decline the request. You see a message from Jaehyun pop up.

jaehyun: like what you see baby?

You peek over your shoulder with your face twisted in disgust and Jaehyun winks at you.

you: not in the slightest

You shut your phone off and put it face down on your desk, attempting to return your attention towards the lesson in front of you, but much to your dismay your mind reels with thoughts of the picture Jaehyun had sent you. The image he sent sears itself into your brain and your heart beats a little quicker against your own will. You clench your teeth in anger that you could only really direct at yourself and the way your mind has begun to waver when it comes to Jaehyun, the line between hatred and something thats definitely not that blurring more as the days go by.

“That’s it for today! Enjoy the rest of your week and I’ll see you next Monday,” Your professor's voice brings you out of your daze, your eyes darting around as if you were afraid that anyone could read your thoughts.

“Still thinking about it?” Jaehyun’s lips are dangerously close to the shell of your ear and you jump in your seat.

“Personal space, Jaehyun, Jesus fucking Christ,” You pant with a hand on your chest.

“Seems like you were a little distracted. Penny for your thoughts?” He teases, leaning his arms on the back of your chair as you gather your belongings.

“Thinking about ways to get rid of your body,” You mutter, reaching out to grab your bag but he holds his arm above his head.

“Not so fast, sweetheart,” He tuts. “Walk with me to my next class.”

“What’s with you today? Did you wake up this morning and decide that making me miserable was your goal?” You question.

“Just feeling a little lonely,” He shrugs, and you try to search his features for any signs of humor, your lips turning down into a frown when you realize he wasn’t joking.

“Oh,” You trail off, feeling a strange tug at your heart when he looks at you expectantly. “Whatever. Lead the way.”

He bounces on the balls of his feet before exiting the classroom with you in tow. He walks towards the glass doors that lead to the courtyard and you stop abruptly.

“Is your class in another building?” You quirk a brow.

“Yeah, something like that,” He smirks, eyes glinting with mischief as he turns back around and you continue to trail behind him.

You follow him as he walks off campus and eventually into the school's parking lot, your eyes narrowing at the back of his head as you stop in your tracks.

“You don’t have another class today, do you?” You stand with a hand on your hip as he turns around scratching his neck.

“Not really,” He laughs sheepishly, “but I need to ask you for a favor.”

“You couldn’t just ask me after class? You had to lie to me and practically kidnap me?” You look at him bewildered.

“I wanted to ask you in private,” He frowns.

“We’re in an open parking lot, Jaehyun.”

He looks around, suddenly realizing that there are students bustling around the parking lot. The tips of his ears burn a bright red as you run a hand through your hair in exasperation.

“Okay, whatever, I’ll just ask you. I need you to be my date for the sports banquet this Friday.”

You tilt your head quizzically, eyebrows furrowing as you look at the boy in front of you,“You’re joking, right?” You laugh.

“I’m serious,” He winces when your laugh trails off, shutting his eyes as if expecting you to freak out any moment now.

“Of all the people you know, you decided to ask me? What gave you the impression that this would be a good idea?” You question him slowly.

“I-okay hear me out. I needed a date and I can’t ask any of the girls I know because A. I’ve hooked up with some of them and B. they were already asked by my other friends and I can’t be the only one without a date Y/N, that shit is so embarrassing-”

“Okay, stop,” You hold a hand up to cut off his rambling and he quickly closes his mouth.

You ponder for a moment as you stare at Jaehyun, who shifts his weight from one foot to the other as he looks down at the ground. You’ve never seen him this nervous, his hands fidgeting with the keychains hanging from your bag that he’s still holding and his foot tapping on the ground. You don’t know what takes over you as you clear your throat to speak up.

“You owe me,” You mumble.

His eyes widen as he stares at you, expecting you to laugh in his face and say you were kidding, but when that never comes a smile slowly spreads across his features.

“You’re serious, right? Seriously serious? You can’t take it back- actually, I’m going to RSVP for the both of us right now,” He pulls out his phone and types quickly, and you find his excitement rather endearing. You catch yourself smiling and your face drops.

When the fuck did Jung Jaehyun become endearing to you?

You snatch your bag away from him as he types on his phone. “Text me the details. I’m going home,” You stammer, frantically swinging your bag over your shoulder and turning around.

“Wait, I can drive you!” He calls after you but you wave your hand in dismissal, pulling up your recent calls on your phone and tapping on the first name on the list as you speed walk away from Jaehyun.

“Donghyuck. You and Mark at my apartment tonight. I’ve lost my fucking mind.”

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

you stole my heart

and i, your willing victim

“And then I said yes! Like a fucking loser with no ounce of dignity, I said yes! Is that not the craziest, most batshit insane thing I’ve ever done?”

Mark and Donghyuck are currently sat at your kitchen island, distractedly munching on the array of snacks you put out for them as you debrief them on the events that had occurred earlier in the day.

“I had absolutely no reason to say yes. But it's like, he looked so nervous and I felt bad? Why the fuck did I feel bad?!” You huff angrily, squinting your eyes at your best friends when you notice them wordlessly chewing.

“Hello? A little bit of engagement would be appreciated, guys,” You wave a hand in front of their faces.

“Do you have juice or something? These chips are dry as fuck,” Donghyuck gets up to sift through your fridge.

“Are you even listening to me? Mark, what do you think?” You shift your attention to the glasses-wearing boy in front of you.

“I think,” He hums, staring off into the distance as he chews slowly on a tortilla chip, “that these chips need dip. Pass me the guac, Hyuck.”

“Mark!” You whine, your friend putting his hands up in defense as he takes the container of guacamole from Donghyuck.

“Bub, you’re not gonna like what we say so I don’t think there's any point in us saying it,” Donghyuck shrugs, sipping on the bottle of iced tea he took from your fridge.

“Anything is better than nothing. I’m all ears,” You push your hair behind your ears and motion for them to continue.

“I think you did it because you have feelings for him,” Hyuck states matter of factly and Mark draws his lips into a thin line while nodding.

“Wrong. Next,” You dismiss, the boys in front of you shrugging at your denial.

“Okay, next is he probably likes you too,” Mark points out.

“Even more wrong. Can we start being realistic please?” You plead, groaning when your friends shake their heads.

“Think about it! That man knows more women than you know people-“

“Okay, rude-“

“Yet he chose the one girl who, allegedly, hates him and isn’t trying to hop on his dick. He is very obviously into you, or at the very least he’s interested.”

Donghyuck’s hands are on his hips now, Mark nodding enthusiastically along to every word.

“Amen, brother,” Mark raises his hand in praise.

You roll your eyes at the two boys, scowling at the thought of any potential feelings involving Jaehyun.

“It was because he hooked up with all of them already and they all hate him!” You defend yourself. Mark and Donghyuck share a look.

“Is that what he told you?” Mark quirks a brow.

“Yes.”

Your friends share another series of knowing looks, smirks slowly adorning their features as your eyes bounce between them in confusion.

“Stop looking at each other and speak!” You shout impatiently.

“Jung Jaehyun, notorious non hooker-upper, told you that he hooked up with so many women that he’s out of options? That’s funny,” Hyuck snorts.

You blink, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion as you process the words you just heard.

“What are you talking about?” You ask.

“Oh poor little Y/N. So caught up in her own little world that she doesn’t know any campus gossip,” Mark rounds the corner of your kitchen island and swings an arm around your shoulders, ruffling your hair gently.

“What gossip?” You swat him off.

“Bub, Jaehyun doesn’t do hook ups. He has not hooked up with a single girl on campus, especially not the ones who throw themselves at him every single day like Soojin.”

You tilt your head to the side as the gears in your brain start turning. You could have sworn you heard stories of his fuckboy antics, his friend group being known throughout campus for having an ongoing hookup counter.

“Johnny and Yuta fuck anything that moves. I don’t doubt he’s the same way,” You laugh nervously, anxiety bubbling in your stomach at the way your friends study your reactions.

“His whole schtick is that he’s different from his friends. That’s why he’s such a babe magnet,” Mark sighs defeatedly and Donghyuck pats his shoulder in mock sympathy.

You let the information marinate for a second, the fuckboy image you’ve built of Jung Jaehyun slowly coming crashing down as you pick apart every rumor you’ve ever heard.

“Look at her face, you can tell she’s realizing she was wrong about him,” Donghyuck murmurs to Mark, breaking you from your train of thoughts.

“I-I’m-I wasn’t wrong! The rumors had to start from somewhere!” Your argument comes out weakly, making Mark and Donghyuck shake their heads in disapproval.

“See, now she’s denying reality. Poor thing,” Mark fake cries into Hyuck’s shoulder.

“Guys!” You whine.

“Alright, alright we’re just joking. But in all seriousness, sooner or later you’re gonna have to accept the fact that he’s not a bad guy and if you weren’t so dead set on hating him for something he did when he was in highschool, you’d probably be jumping his bones because lets face it, the sexual tension between you two is suffocating, and everyone loves a good enemies to lovers.”

You gawk at Donghyuck as he sips from his bottle calmly.

“I’m not gonna lie Y/N, for lack of better wording, he ate you up with that,” Mark pipes up after a beat of silence.

“I’m-you-whatever! I’m going to my room, don’t wreck my place,” You mumble as you retreat back towards your bedroom.

“We’re sleeping over!” Hyuck calls after you and you wave a dismissive hand in the air, knowing all too well that they knew your apartment like the backs of their hands.

When you reach the solace of your bedroom, you shut the door softly as your friends begin to argue over what movie to watch for the night. Your thoughts dizzy you as you slowly crawl on top of your sheets and hug a pillow close to your chest.

You wanted to believe that Jaehyun was a liar and that he somehow was able to trick your friends into believing he was a good guy. You wanted so desperately to believe that you were right, and that your long lived hatred for him has always been valid.

You think back to highschool, the teenage angst and awkwardness of it all making you cringe internally as you reminisce. As if it happened days ago, the image of you and Jaehyun on the bleachers during field day remains vivid in your mind. Every detail is burned into your memory; the way the wind felt, the sound of the students laughter that rang throughout the field, and even more specifically the way Jaehyun’s cheeks were tinted a light pink as he spoke to you.

“Are you saying that you, Jung Jaehyun, haven’t had your first kiss yet and we’re in our senior year?” You arch your brow at him, shifting the lollipop in your mouth to the side as you peer at him curiously.

“Oh, come on, don’t act all high and mighty. You haven’t had yours either!” He exclaims with a finger pointed at you. You shush him with a hand over his mouth, and he puts his hands up in mock surrender.

“That’s a different story! You..you’re Jung Jaehyun. Literally all the girls in our graduating class have dreamt about kissing you since freshmen year. You got the most cheers at the talent show last year even though you looked dumb as fuck singing ‘All I Want For Christmas is You’ in that Rudolph sweater,” You snort at the memory as the tips of Jaehyun’s ears are painted scarlet.

“Just because I allegedly have options, doesn’t mean I want any of them to be my first kiss,” He huffs, “And look who’s talking! We’re in the same boat, you know.”

You narrow your eyes at him scrutinizingly, “What are you talking about? If I had guys throwing themselves at me, maybe I would have had my first kiss by now.”

“What about Mark or Donghyuck? I’m surprised neither of them have asked you out yet.”

“Ew, what? They’re my best friends,” You look out onto the field where Mark is currently chasing Donghyuck with an inflatable flamingo in his hands. “I could never date them. And I’m almost certain Hyuck has already kissed Mark at some point.”

Jaehyun raises his eyebrows at the information he just heard, shrugging his shoulders as he watches your best friends with you. “Besides them. It’s hard to believe you don’t have guys throwing themselves at you. You’re…not ugly.”

It was your turn to blush at his bold statement, your hands instinctively coming up to tousle your hair shyly, “Same goes for you…I guess.”

Theres an awkward tension in the air as you two avoid eye contact with each other, opting to look out onto the field where Mark now has Donghyuck in a headlock. After a few moments of suffocating silence between you two, Jaehyun speaks up.

“What if we were each others first kiss?”

You choke on your own spit at his words, coughing erratically as you clap a hand over your chest in an attempt to stop. When you manage to catch your breath, you look at him in bewilderment, searching his eyes for any signs of humor but finding none.

“Are you serious?”

“Why not? We both haven’t had ours yet, and it’d be better than losing our first kiss to a stranger,” He shrugs a little too nonchalantly at the suggestion, and your face twists even more in confusion.

You stare at him for a moment as you think about his suggestion, his logic making more sense than you’d like to admit. You become increasingly aware of the butterflies in your stomach and the drumming in your chest as you continue to stare at him, and you force yourself to look away as you clear your throat.

“I guess it’s not a bad idea,” You mumble, and you hear him let out a breath.

“Great. Meet me in front of the vending machines in 15 minutes,” He shoots you a wink before getting up from his spot next to you and walking off the field, your eyes following his movements as he disappears from your line of vision.

You look down at the digital watch on your arm, watching as a minute passes, then five, then ten. When the fifteen minutes have passed you stand from your seat, taking in a deep breath before walking in the same direction that Jaehyun went. You could feel your heartbeat quickening as you near the vending machines and you wipe your clammy palms on your pants before you round the corner, your mouth opening in shock as you watch the scene that unfolds before you.

There, in front of the vending machines, stood Jung Jaehyun with his back facing you, and a rather happy looking Kang Soojin with her lips attached to his.

You don’t waste another second before you stomp away from the two of them, your cheeks burning in embarrassment as you angrily wipe away the stray tear that made its way down your cheek. You mentally curse yourself for getting your hopes up in the first place, the excited buzz you felt earlier being replaced with an overwhelming sense of stupidity. You let out a bitter laugh.

You suppose you were quite the idiot for believing that someone like Jaehyun could ever make space for someone like you in his heart.

A wave of embarrassment washes over you as you recall the events that happened that day and you shudder, urging your brain to think about anything else so you could bury that memory.

The moment of him asking you to the sports banquet pops into your head, the genuine excited glimmer in his eyes when you said yes still fresh in your memory making you sigh. As easy as it was to accept the rumors as truth, the way your friends spoke of him riddled your head with uncertainty. He was one of the few people you could never read, and if you were honest you found yourself thinking about him lately, more often than you’d like to admit.

You squeeze your eyes shut and shake your head, physically trying to rid your brain of Jaehyun. You open your bedroom door to the sounds of what you could only assume to be Despicable Me and you smile, knowing it was Mark’s idea and Donghyuck was probably pouting on your couch right now. When you walk out you’re greeted to the exact sight you were expecting to see.

“Y/N, he’s making me watch this stupid fucking minion movie again,” Hyuck whines from one corner of your couch.

“Stupid minion movie? That’s literally you!” Mark points at the screen when a minion pops up.

You don’t know what it is but the presence of your two best friends eases the racing of your mind, a small smile decorating your features as you watch them argue back and forth about who was more of a minion.

“Why are you just standing there? We left your spot open!” Hyuck pats the spot between them that you claimed as yours ages ago. After you settle yourself between them, you feel Mark pat your head and you turn to him.

“Stop thinking so much, it’s bad for your brain. You’re gonna end up like Hyuck,” He smiles reassuringly at you and you don’t even get the chance to smile back before a handful of popcorn is launched in his direction.

“What does that even mean? My brain and I are perfectly functional, thank you very much,” Hyuck huffs from beside you.

“Don’t throw food!” Mark exclaims before promptly picking up the pieces of popcorn that were scattered on his lap and popping them into his mouth.

Even with the grimace on your face and the sound of Donghyuck going off on a tangent about how he has a higher IQ than Mark, you couldn’t be more thankful that your mind had started to stray far away from Jaehyun.

You just hope it could stay that way.

*･･*:.｡..｡.:*･'♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

you’re still written in the scars on my heart

If you had realized sooner that getting ready for a banquet would be this stressful, you might have said no a lot easier.

As you viciously pat powder onto your face, Donghyuck stands in front of your closet door with a steamer to your dress and Mark wipes down your shoes.

“Are we sure you’re not going to bust your ass in these?” Mark holds up one of the heels and examines it.

“She’s fine. Don’t talk to her, she's already running behind schedule,” Donghyuck barks from his corner of your room.

“What’s his problem?” Mark quirks a brow in your direction.

“He’s a little upset because I dragged him to the mall with me this morning to get those because I forgot about shoes,” You point at the heels in Marks hand.

“I told you to have everything ready like what, a week ago? And now here we are running to Macy’s of all places to find you a pair of shoes?” Donghyuck nags as you two speed walk through the mall.

“God, why did I not bring Mark instead of you? I should have known you’d be no help,” You grumble under your breath.

“First of all, Mark couldn’t tell a stiletto from a kitten heel. You need my expertise if you’re gonna be Jung Jaehyuns date,” Hyuck scoffs.

“Not his date! His plus one!” You exclaim dramatically, cowering slightly when you realize you might have been too loud.

“Date and plus one are the same thing, but okay. Let’s just find you a nice pair of black platforms with ankle straps to go with your dress,” Donghyuck claps his hands together as you gawk at him for even knowing what that was.

The memory of Donghyuck and you this morning makes you giggle as you sweep glitter onto your eyelids.

“Don’t laugh! You’re gonna crease your makeup!” Hyuck shouts at you as he looks through your jewelry box and holds up different pairs of earrings next to you.

“Hyuck, you seem to be more into this than Y/N. Do you want to take her place?” Mark snickers.

“Oh, excuse me for not wanting my best friend to embarrass herself at the biggest event of the school year,” Donghyuck rolls his eyes dramatically, holding up a pair of sparkly silver hoops to your face, “Yes! These are it.”

“It’s just another sports banquet. They have like, ten of them every year,” You shrug.

“Just another sports banquet is absolutely insane, Y/N. You do realize he’s not even on the hockey team and yet he was still invited? Do you know why?” Hyuck has a hand on his hip as he stares at you expectantly.

“…He’s not on the hockey team?”

“Because of his friends! Johnny and Yuta are our schools top hockey stars and every year, they invite him to that damn banquet because you know whats better than two hot guys in suits? Three hot guys in suits. They are the trio, Y/N, and everyone there is on the same level of hot and popular as them, if not more. That banquet you’re going to is literally just an excuse for all the popular kids to show off their parents money and get hyped up for their shitty gameplay,” Donghyuck lets out in one breath and you feel your hands start to slightly tremble.

“Well, now you got her all nervous, dumbass. I’m pretty sure he didn’t tell her for a reason!” Mark points out and Donghyuck looks at you with worried eyes.

“Oh god, please don’t start crying or sweating, your makeup is almost done,” He gently smoothes a hand over your hair and you swat him away.

“I’m fine. A little nervous now, thanks to you, but nothing I can’t handle,” You mumble quietly to hide the shaking in your voice.

A ding! causes all of you to freeze in your spots and look at each other, Mark being the first one to move as he grabs your phone and unplugs it from the charger.

“Jaehyun says “be there in 10 sweetheart” with a heart emoji. Sweetheart?!” He exclaims as he reads the message on your phone over again.

“That’s not the point! He’s almost here and I’m not dressed!” You yelp as you douse your face in setting spray.

“Okay, its go time! Get dressed and take your hair out of the rollers. If he comes, I’ll greet him at the door and distract him so you have time for shoes and perfume. Go!” Hyuck claps his hands together and drags Mark out of the room with him. You walk up to your dress and remove the hanger, slipping into it quickly and easily zipping it up yourself. You walk towards your mirror and your eyes slightly widen at your own appearance.

You’ve grown so accustomed to your usual casual attire that the sight of you in a dress almost feels foreign, and you find yourself turning side to side to admire the way the dress accentuates your features.

“Heels,” You whisper to yourself before you perch yourself on the edge of your bed and begin strapping on the black heels Donghyuck picked out for you earlier in the day.

You hear your apartment door open and you recognize Jaehyuns voice as he greets Donghyuck and Mark. You mutter curses to yourself as you quickly spray on your perfume and deodorant, letting them dry down as you pack your purse with your necessities for the night.

You become increasingly aware of the anxiety that settles in the pit of your stomach at the thought of Jaehyun seeing you all dressed up, and you find yourself involuntarily double checking your appearance in the mirror. You take a deep breath before opening your bedroom door.

“Just have her back by midnight latest. It gets a little creepy around here at night,” You hear Donghyuck say and you shake your head in disbelief at your friend.

“Hyuck, I’m not your daughter you know,” You call out as you walk out of your bedroom, all three sets of eyes landing on you.

Donghyuck wipes a fake tear from his eye as he looks at you and Mark lets out a low whistle as he admires your form.

“You look great, bub. I did a great job,” Hyuck pats himself on the back and you roll your eyes, slowly turning your head to gauge Jaehyun’s reaction.

He stands impressively still as his eyes rake up and down your body, and you want to cower instinctively at his almost predatory gaze. His eyes trail up your body to finally meet your eyes and you swear there’s a hint of something, but Mark claps a hand in front of his face and it goes away in an instant.

“Hey. Stop staring at my best friend like that,” Mark scowls, regarding Jaehyun with caution as he narrows his eyes at him.

Jaehyun clears his throat, straightening his shoulders before turning to Mark with a smirk, “Is it my fault this is my first time seeing her in something that isn’t her church girl clothes?”

“Church girl clothes? I dress perfectly normal, thank you very much,” You scoff, walking towards the front door, looking at Jaehyun expectantly. “Are you coming or what?”

Donghyuck and Mark watch with knowing smiles as Jaehyun walks towards the front door, his eyes never leaving your figure as he stands next to you.

“Wait!”

You both turn your heads at Donghyucks voice, and you’re nearly blinded by the flash that goes off. When you regain your vision, you see Hyuck holding up his digital camera, and you groan.

“Dude!” You whine, Jaehyun chuckling as he gently guides you out of your apartment.

“Have fun listening to EDM all night! And make sure you stay away from Yangyang!” Mark calls out as you step into the hallway of your apartment building and you raise an eyebrow. When the door of your apartment finally closes, Jaehyun turns to you, his dimples on full display as he gives you a quick once over.

“Ready, my lady?” He offers his hand out to you and you scowl, ignoring the way your heart thumps a little harder at his offer to hold hands.

“You seriously owe me one, asshole. Let’s get this over with,” You mutter, walking away from him and towards the elevators.

Jaehyun watches you with an unreadable expression plastered on his face as you walk in front of him, and he lets out a laugh, speaking low enough for only him to hear.

“Let’s get it over with.”

･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

One hour into the banquet and you were starting to think that Mark had some sort of psychic ability.

Shitty EDM blasts through the speakers and you gulp down the remainder of your champagne with a grimace. Your eyes flit around the room, landing on Liu Yangyang as he shotguns a beer in the corner with Johnny. A chorus of cheers erupt when Johnny finishes first and he receives several pats on his back as he makes his way over to you, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“You need another drink, pretty?” He shouts over the music, and it takes every fiber of your being to not gag at the smell of beer coming from him. You eye the way his tie is now secured on his head like a bandana, and you offer him a tight lipped smile.

“I’m good, thanks,” You call out, shooting him a thumbs up and he nods, stumbling over to the table of new pledges and forcing them to take shots with him.

Against your own will, your eyes search the crowd for a certain dimpled boy, and you find yourself frowning slightly when you can’t see him. You feel a hand on your shoulder and you turn to see Jaehyun looking down at you with a small crease forming between his brows.

“Why was Johnny talking to you?” He leans down to speak over the music, and you start to wonder if the champagne is the reason you find the proximity dizzying.

“He asked if I wanted another drink. I said no,” You answer.

Jaehyun looks at you for a moment, as if considering something, before he leans closer to your ear and speaks.

“Let’s step outside for a second.”

You never agree to something quicker, standing to your feet and letting Jaehyun guide you out to the lobby and up a flight of marble stairs. His hand rests too comfortably on the small of your back, and you ignore the way his touch feels like fire on your skin.

Maybe you were a lightweight after all and maybe the effects of the champagne were starting to take place, making you more perceptive to the way he stayed close to you as you passed by groups of people.

He leads you to an empty room upstairs, walking towards the large glass doors at the end and sliding them open. You step out onto the terrace, your eyes taking in the view of the field below, decorated with fairy lights and flowers for the banquet. Jaehyun shuts the door behind him, walking up to stand next to you as you look up at the inky sky.

“Woah, you can see the stars so well. They’re so pretty,” You breathe out.

Jaehyun’s eyes study your features that are dimly light by the glow of the fairy lights, and he mumbles quietly to himself, “Very pretty.”

A light breeze creeps its way over your form and you shiver, crossing your arms over your chest to try to garner a little warmth.

Jaehyun doesn’t miss the way you cower slightly as the temperature drops, his arms moving quickly to take his blazer off and drape it over your shoulders.

“Oh, I’m good,” You protest, starting to slide the jacket off your shoulders but stopping when Jaehyun puts two hands on your shoulders to readjust the jacket.

“Keep it on. I don’t wanna hear your ass complaining when you get sick and can’t sing at the showcase,” He mumbles, the glint of fondness in his eyes going unnoticed as you grumble under your breath that you’re fine but slipping your arms through the jacket nonetheless.

“Even if I get sick, I’d still sing better than you any day,” You joke, a small smile making its way onto your face upon seeing Jaehyun’s dimples slowly deepen.

“Y/N, Y/N, Y/N. My biggest hater yet you still agreed to be my date for tonight,” He tuts.

Despite the cool air nipping at your nose, you could still feel the warmth spread on your cheeks at his words.

“I am not your date…I’m your plus one,” You articulate, hesitating before you finally ask what had been on your mind all night, “Why did you ask me to go anyways? I know you had other options.”

Jaehyun ponders for a moment, his lips drawing into a line before he lets out a breath.

“I guess I did have other options. None of them were my first choice though.”

You’re thankful that the sky was dark enough to hide the stupid blush that blooms on your cheeks at his words. “And I was your first choice because…?”

“You’re kidding, right?” He snorts, looking up at the sky with a sigh, “Senior year field day.”

Your eyes almost bulge out of your head as those words leave his lips, and you whip your head to the side to look at him.

“W-what about it?” You stammer embarrassingly, your heartbeat quickening as you wait for him to answer you.

“We were supposed to be each others first kiss and you didn’t show up. I can’t say I wasn’t bummed, you know,” He’s still looking out at the sky as he speaks, and you hate that even in a situation like this, you couldn’t help but admire the way the moon dances over his features.

“I did show up and you were kissing Soojin. So I wouldn’t have even been your first kiss,” You mumble, and you hate the way you almost sound disappointed.

He lets out a dry laugh. “Yeah, I can’t blame you for leaving. But, just for the record, she stole it from me. I wanted it to be you.”

You didn’t think it was possible for your eyes to widen any more than they already were, your lips parting in surprise as you try to process what he just said.

“She…stole it?” You repeat his words and he nods slowly, choosing to ignore the part where he said he wanted you to be his first kiss for the sake of your own sanity.

“I guess she heard us talking about it or something. She followed me to the vending machines and just kinda…threw herself onto me,” He admits, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

Not only did Jaehyun just completely deconstruct the reason behind your hatred for him, but he did so while also admitting that he wanted you to be his first kiss. An unfamiliar feeling bubbles in your stomach and you rack your brain for something to say.

“Well that…sucks,” You wince at your own words, mentally smacking yourself in the head for not being able to think of anything else. A little sigh of relief escapes your lips when Jaehyun laughs.

“It did suck. I wanted it to be you,” He repeats his words from earlier and he turns to you, looking at you with sincerity written all over his sharp features.

You come to the conclusion that you’re definitely in way over your head right now. You blame the champagne, no, you blame the way the cologne on Jaehyun’s blazer completely clouds your senses.

“Why’s that?” You say quietly, your eyes locked onto his intently.

“Why do you think?” He says calmly, turning to face his entire body towards you before stepping closer.

The tension between you two is enough to suffocate you, and you blame that for your lack of rationality and judgement as you let him enter your space, your eyes never leaving his as he towers over you even in your heels.

“Jaehyun…” You mumble, not sure if it was an attempt to stop him or a cue for him to close the space between you two.

“I’ve really, really wanted to make up for that kiss. Can I?” He speaks quietly, his eyes searching yours for permission.

You’ve definitely had too much champagne tonight, and that’s why you end up nodding.

His hand hesitantly comes up to gently cradle your jaw, your eyes never leaving his as your heart pounds excessively in your chest. He inches closer, his lips barely brushing against yours before a loud bang in the distance causes you to jump away from him. You turn your head towards the field where Yangyang lights up a row of boxes, and you watch as sparks of red and white shoot into the night sky. Not even a second later, you hear a chorus of laughter from the room behind you and the glass doors slide open. Johnny and Yuta come stumbling onto the terrace with three other guys you don’t recognize, and they smile drunkenly at you before whooping at the next round of fireworks.

“Holy shit, we have the best view in the house!” Johnny slurs, whipping out his phone and recording the fireworks as the other boys clink their beer bottles together.

You’re suddenly very aware of the fact that you almost kissed Jaehyun just now, and you let out a small gasp. You look over at Jaehyun, who watches his friends with a scowl, and you quickly slip his blazer off of your shoulders and shove it in his arms, the smell of his cologne lingering on you far longer than you appreciated.

“I’m…I,” You can barely get your words out, so you resort to pointing your thumb at the glass doors behind you to signify you’re leaving. You turn to walk back into the venue but his hand gently wraps around your wrist, and you look back at him.

“Wait, let me take you home,” He nearly pleads, but you simply shake your head and pull your arm out of his grasp. He tries to speak again but Johnny wraps an arm around his shoulder and tugs him into a group selfie.

Your mind is a whirlwind of thoughts as you make your way back into the venue, your cheeks hot as you weave through the crowds of people that litter the space. You quickly pull your phone out when you reach the front, ordering yourself an Uber and sitting on the curb as you try to process what just happened. The single glass of champagne you had was slowly starting to wear off, and you’re left with no excuses for the way your heart still hasn’t stopped hammering in your chest even after you’ve left Jaehyun’s vicinity.

You’re almost certain you look insane right now, sitting on the sidewalk with your head in your hands as you mumble “I’m fucked” over and over again under your breath. A car horn causes you to jump in your spot, and you look up to see what you could only assume to be your Uber. You get in, confirming your address with the driver before he begins to pull away from the curb, and you lean back in your seat with a huff.

“Rough night?” The driver chirps, and you let out a dry laugh, the fog in your brain beginning to lift and leaving you feeling slightly disappointed and confused.

“Something like that.”

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

we’re collecting dust

but our loves enough

There’s a noticeably thick tension between you and Jaehyun the next day at rehearsals.

You’re well aware that his eyes had been laser-focused on you from the minute you walked into the auditorium and it left you with an unsettling pit in your stomach as you tried to engage in conversations with your friends to distract yourself from the boy shamelessly staring at you.

“Is it just me or is Jaehyun staring at you?” Renjun asks from the seat behind you.

Mark and Donghyuck snap their necks towards the boy in question, their eyes following his gaze to confirm Renjun’s statement, only to have it land on you.

“Come on now, why would he stare at me?” You smile sheepishly to feign innocence. Donghyuck gasps loudly and jumps out of his seat, causing the surrounding students to avert their attention towards him.

“Is this about last nigh-”

You clap a hand over his mouth and force him back into his seat before he can finish his sentence. His eyes are about to pop out of his head as you offer an apologetic smile to the students who glare at your group.

“What the hell is wrong with you?! Do you want the entire school to know my business?” You whisper-shout as you remove your hand from his mouth.

“Holy shit, I need to know what happened, start to finish. Better yet, I need a play-by-play of what happened from the moment you left the house,” He rambles, bouncing in his seat excitedly.

“Mark, make him stop,” You groan, rubbing at your temples.

“I would love to, but I’m also curious,” Mark winces when you shoot a glare in his direction.

You sigh. It would definitely make the load on your shoulders feel lighter if you vent about last night’s events to your friends. You barely get the chance to open your mouth before Professor Kim walks into the auditorium.

“Hello, students! Give me ten seconds to get the speakers and mics on and we’ll be up and running!” He chirps as he sets his clipboard down and walks onto the stage to set up.

“I’ll tell you guys after rehearsals. My place, tonight,” You whisper to the three boys before you all turn towards the stage.

Professor Kim stands on the stage with a happy grin, eyes scanning the students in the audience before he looks down at his clipboard.

“Today we’re going to try to do rehearsals with the curtains and lights. First pair up is Y/N and Jaehyun!”

It was your turn for your eyes to bulge out of your head. You look over to your partner, only to quickly look away when you realize his eyes are already focused on you, a taunting smirk adorning his stupid face.

“Come on up, guys” Professor Kim calls out.

You hesitantly stand up, looking back at your friends who give you reassuring nods. You trudge through the backstage doors and up the steps, walking onto the stage and positioning yourself at one of the mic stands. In your peripheral, you see Jaehyun only a few steps behind you, doing the same as the curtains close.

“I need to talk to you, you know,” You can feel the way his eyes bore into the side of your face as he speaks, and you sigh.

“Let’s just get this over with.”

The opening chords of the song starts playing and the curtains open, the stage lights shining directly onto you and Jaehyun. You start off the song, easily moving through the first verse and chorus. When Jaehyun’s verse starts, you tense up, doing your best to remember Professor Kim’s notes from your past few rehearsals. You watch as Jaehyun sings his lines while looking directly at you, your eyes getting lost in his as you both start singing together. The bridge approaches quickly and before you even realize it, you’re both standing in front of each other, the lyrics feeling more like a conversation between you two than the words to a song.

This is a performance. You’re both putting on an act.

You try to repeat those words to yourself mentally, but it all goes out the window when his hand reaches out to gently graze your cheek. Your eyes try to search his and for a second, you swear they’re filled with nothing but longing.

The last note of the song echoes throughout the auditorium and you’re both staring at each other. Something is definitely different, but you can’t quite put your finger on what. You feel something bubbling in your chest and your stomach, and if you weren’t so lost in the way his lips curl up into a smile, you’d be able to figure out what it was.

The stage lights dim and there's scattered applause coming from the other performers and the crew. You snap back into reality and look into the audience where you see your best friends looking at you with a knowing smile. You put the mic back onto its stand and rush backstage, where you sit down on a crate and collect your breath.

“Hey, that was great,” Jaehyun pants, slowly approaching where you’re sitting.

“Right, yeah.”

“I told you I’d make a great partner,” he jokes and you shake your head.

“Yeah, whatever. I can’t wait until this is over with,” you mumble to yourself, but he doesn’t miss it.

“You hate me that much, huh?“

“Why are you acting surprised?”

You finally look up at him and if it wasn’t so dark backstage, you’d be able to see the smirk on his features.

“Cause the way you look at me on stage says different.”

The look on his face is enough to send shivers down your spine, but you’re so lost in his aura that you still can’t distinguish what it is. You need to snap back to reality soon, otherwise you’ll lose complete control of the reigns you have on your feelings. The sound of the backstage door opening causes you to shift your attention to Mark and Donghyuck, who come rushing in with the biggest shit-eating grins you’ve ever seen. You’re suddenly very aware that your two best friends were watching it all happen, and you stand up abruptly.

“It’s called having stage personality and presence. Maybe you should try it sometime.”

You don’t even give yourself time to process the change in his face before you walk off, grabbing Mark and Hyuck along with you.

When you reach the audience, you collapse into a seat, and Hyuck is the first one to break the silence after a series of knowing stares between him and Mark. “So…you hate him, huh?”

“Hyuck,” you whine.

“Innocent question, Y/N.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose and gesture for them to sit next to you. They’re now on either side of you, waiting for you to speak.

“I feel insane,” you almost laugh, but nothing was particularly funny in this situation. You just feel like you need to laugh to lighten the heavy feeling on your chest.

“Because you might not actually hate him?” Mark inquires, and you shake your head.

“Because I don’t think I ever really did.”

Your friends send you sympathetic glances, Hyucks eyes darting towards the doors that lead backstage when it squeaks open. He watches Jaehyun walk out seemingly disheveled, before he makes a beeline for the auditorium exit to avoid the stares of the other students. “Is it so bad to be wrong about someone?”

You sigh and rub your eyes. There were too many thoughts swirling around your head and it made you dizzy.

“Can we step outside?” You ask them and they stand, leading you towards the back of the auditorium. Mark pushes the door open but barely takes a step out before he freezes in his spot with Donghyuck doing the same, causing you to bump into their backs.

“Oh shit.”

You look up upon hearing those words leave Mark's mouth, and your blood runs cold.

Jaehyun was leaning against the corridor wall, Kang Soojin latching onto him like the bloodsucking leech she is. And just like that, you’re back in highschool watching Soojin kiss Jaehyun in front of the vending machines again.

You don’t know what it was about the sight but you felt sick to your stomach, your breathing becoming shallow and your hands shaking.

“Woah, Y/N, you okay?” You hear Mark ask, but your heartbeat is so loud in your ears that he sounds far away.

Your eyes finally break away from the sight and you stomp forward, walking through the corridor without another word. You keep up your speed until you’re sure you're far enough from the devil himself, and you turn the corner of the hallway.

“Y/N! Wait up!” You hear your friends call after you.

You slide down the wall and sit on the floor, tears sliding down your cheeks even though you’re not exactly sure why.

You thought you hated Jaehyun. You thought you’ve hated him ever since highschool. But why did the sight of him and Soojin make your chest ache? Why was it so easy for him to make your resolve crumble? Why couldn’t you get him out of your head?

“Jesus Christ, are you okay?” Mark pants, crouching down to examine your crying figure. The tears wouldn’t stop coming no matter how hard you tried to control it.

“Bub…” Hyuck sits down next to you and wraps an arm around your shoulder. You lean into him and you let the tears fall silently this time.

It’s silent as Donghyuck holds you close and Mark sits in front of you and strokes your hand. You didn’t know what to say, but you knew you didn’t have to explain anything to them just yet. You let them comfort you in silence, not worrying about the dread that came with knowing you’d have to talk about it at some point.

“Let’s go home.”

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

we’re not broken just bent,

and we can learn to love again

You skip the next two rehearsals despite every bone in your body fighting to be on the stage. You make up a lie about being sick to Professor Kim, and Mark and Donghyuck cover for you.

It wasn’t an entire lie. You definitely felt a churning in your stomach since the incident and it made you nauseous. Your phone had been on silent for two days, and your hand had been itching to pick it up and see if Jaehyun had texted you.

The clock blinks 2:14 AM as you shuffle back into your room after using the bathroom. You pull back your comforter and slip into bed with a long sigh, curling yourself into the same position you had been in for the past two days and letting your eyes flutter shut.

Your phone vibrates from your nightstand and you ignore it, assuming it’s either Mark or Donghyuck calling to check up on you. The vibrating stops and your room fills with silence for a brief moment before your phone rings again.

You reach behind you with your eyes still closed, swiping across the screen to accept the call before bringing it up to your ear.

“I’m alive, boys. I appreciate your concern but it is 2 AM,” You croak into the phone, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Not boys, just boy. And if I knew all I needed to do to talk to you was call you, I would have done it a lot sooner.”

Your eyes shoot open and you damn near jump out of bed.

“Jaehyun?” Your voice cracks. “Why are you calling me at two o’clock in the morning?”

“You’re gonna ask me that when you’ve been MIA for the past two days?” He scoffs into the receiver.

“If Professor Kim told you to check up on me, I’m fine. Are we done here?” Your voice is shaky as you try to maintain your usual cold demeanor towards him.

“God damn it, Y/N,” He snaps. “I’m calling you because I want to. Because I care. You can’t disappear for two days and not respond to my texts then expect me to not give a shit. Cut the fucking attitude.”

A tense silence envelopes the call as you fiddle with the drawstrings of your pajama shorts. All traces of fatigue have left your body upon hearing Jaehyun’s voice, making you sigh deeply as you lean against your headboard.

“I’m fine, Jaehyun,” You chew at your bottom lip in an attempt to keep the lump in your throat at bay.

“Stop saying that when both you and I know it’s not true.”

That was the final push that sent your last bits of sanity off the edge.

“What do you want from me, Jaehyun? Do you want me to sit here and cry to you about how shitty I feel right now? Do you want me to tell you that I wish I didn’t have to go back to rehearsals because I have barely been able to get out of bed for the past two days?” You cry.

It’s silent again, embarrassment slowly seeping into your veins as you wipe the streaks of tears from your cheeks.

“Do you want me to tell Professor Kim to excuse you from the performance? I can do it solo,” His voice is surprisingly gentle.

You stare ahead at your black TV screen as you think about Jaehyun’s words. Performing at the spring showcase has always been one of your favourite times of the year, and you knew that if you didn’t perform this year you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself. Especially knowing that it meant you’d have to admit that the reason behind your dejection was Jaehyun.

“No, I can…I can come back tomorrow,” Your voice is uneasy.

“Tomorrow’s Saturday, sweetheart,” He laughs.

You hate the way the pet name makes your heart clench.

“Right, then Monday. I’ll be back on Monday,” You sputter, smacking your palm to your forehead in an attempt to regain composure. You feel another surge of embarrassment when you hear him laughing again. “If that’s it, I’m gonna go to bed, Jaehyun.”

“Wait!” He calls out, and you hum curiously at his urgency.

“I know you didn’t ask but, there’s nothing going on with me and Soojin. She was on me. You guys really just came out at a bad time,” He breathes out and you feel heat rushing to your cheeks at the thought that he knew you were bothered by him and Soojin.

“I-the-um-that doesn’t matter to me,” You attempt to lie, the shaking in your voice not only apparent to you but to Jaehyun as well, who laughs at your failed efforts. You smack your palm to your head again at the embarrassment that has yet to leave your body since the call started.

“That’s a shame. I was told it did,” You hear the traces of a smile in his voice and you pale.

“Who told you what?” You squeak.

“Let’s just say one of them is a really bad liar and the other one is a chronic yapper. I’m sure you can figure it out from there,” He laughs into the receiver and you curse under your breath.

“Those idiots,” You grumble.

“If it makes you feel any better, I’m glad it does matter to you,” He speaks, the blush returning to your cheeks as you continue to stutter embarrassingly into the phone.

“I said it doesn’t,” You muster, not even believing your own words.

“Whatever you say, sweetheart. Get some rest, yeah? I need my partner in tip top shape on Monday,” He chirps.

“Yeah, I will. Thanks for checking in, Jaehyun. I appreciate it,” Your lips slowly spread into a smile and he hums.

“Oh, and Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t care if you don’t reply to anybody else’s calls or texts. But don’t pull that shit with me or I swear to God I’ll show up to your house next time.”

You let out a giggle at his request, nodding to yourself and not missing the way he sighs, almost contently, into the phone. You hate to admit it, but this was the best you’ve felt in the past few days.

“Goodnight, Jaehyun,” You laugh quietly.

“You should laugh more often, Y/N. Sweet dreams,” He voices before you hear the noise that signals he hung up.

You return your phone to its place on your nightstand before falling back onto your pillows.

“What the fuck?” You whisper to yourself, clapping a hand over your mouth after a girlish giggle slips past your lips.

That night, you fall asleep peacefully with an undeniable smile etched onto your features, as soft brown eyes and deep dimples occupy your dreams. When you wake up in the morning you swear the sun shines a little brighter, and you go about your morning with ease and a small smile.

Getting back to rehearsals feels easy and you quickly fall back into routine, your performance with Jaehyun getting stronger as the day of the show approaches. Neither of you bring up what happened, and quite frankly you couldn’t be more glad that he seemingly swept it under the rug for your sake. The idea of having that complicated conversation nearly made you retch every time you thought about it, so you continually prayed that he would forget about it as time passes.

But unfortunately for you, the universe doesn’t seem to hear your prayers.

It’s the Thursday night before the performance and you’re the last one to pack up and leave the auditorium after a long day of rehearsal. You sling your bag over your shoulder with a sigh, fishing your phone out of your pocket to check the time and frowning when you see it was almost 8pm. The loud squeak of the auditorium door startles you, and you look up to see Jaehyun sauntering down the aisle towards you.

“Why are you still here? You scared the shit out of me,” You call out, a hand on your chest to stop the racing of your heart.

“I was waiting for you. Mark and Donghyuck left, and I wasn’t going to leave you alone,” He shrugs, stopping to stand in front of you.

Shit. Was he finally going to talk to you about what happened the other week?

“Why were you waiting for me?” Your eyes flit nervously around the room.

He lets out a soft chuckle, lowering himself to meet your eyes, “Did you think I forgot?”

“Forgot what?” You stammer, stepping back to allow for some distance between you two.

“That I know you were bothered by me and Soojin. That we almost kissed at the banquet.”

You realized with an alarming clarity that you were very much fucked, and there was no way you could back out of this conversation now. Your reactions were too obvious, your emotions too readable, and you let out a defeated sigh.

“It was the alcohol talking at the banquet. I wasn’t in my right mind,” You deflect, flinching slightly when he laughs at your weak attempt to dissmiss him.

“Okay, let’s say you were. You weren’t drunk when you saw me and Soojin though,” He mentions.

“So?” You try to keep a stoic demeanor but it’s quickly replaced by surprise when he steps closer.

“Why were you bothered by it, Y/N?” He prods, tilting his head as he notes the way your eyes fail to meet his.

“Wouldn’t you be bothered by two people practically making out in front of you?” You scoff weakly.

He hums thoughtfully, before shaking his head, “Not really. Not unless I liked the person.”

“T-that’s not true,” You try to argue, but you know it’s no use. He’s got you right where he wants you, and just the tiniest push would send you over the edge.

“Be honest with yourself, Y/N. It won’t help either of us if you keep lying like this,” He almost growls as he steps forward to trap you against the foot of the stage.

“Why do you care?” You furrow your brows at him.

“Because I like you, god damn it. I liked you in highschool and I like you now.”

A strange feeling churns in your stomach at his words and you almost laugh. The idea of Jaehyun liking you made you feel strange, insecurity and disbelief pricking at your heart as you open and close your mouth pathetically.

“N-no, you don’t,” You dismiss, looking away from him as if it would change the tension between you two right now.

“Yes, I do. I like that you’re not afraid to speak up against people you don’t like and I like that I can tell what mood you’re in just by looking at your face. I like that you’re always humming even though I tell you it’s annoying and I like that you don’t let me tell you what to do. I like that you’re bothered by the idea of me and Soojin together, because I like you,” Jaehyun lets out all in one breath and you try to search his features for anything that isn’t the complete sincerity that was written all over it.

“You don’t like me, Jaehyun,” Your voice is barely above a whisper as you shake your head.

“Don’t tell me how I feel. I like you, Y/N. Too damn much for you to try to convince me I don’t,” His voice softens as he lowers his head to try to meet your eyes, a frown forming on his lips when you turn your head to look away from him.

“B-but Soojin…you like Soojin,” You can feel your heartbeat in your throat as you try to dismiss his feelings for you, not wanting to face the reality of your own just yet.

“I don’t care about, Soojin. I never have. I don’t even look in her direction because I’m too busy looking at you.”

It becomes increasingly difficult to convince yourself that he didn’t actually like you. You feel sick, the butterflies that only seemed to erupt when he was around begin swirling violently in your stomach. Your heart beats wildly in your chest as you look up at him and your brain works in overdrive to justify the way he’s looking at you, like you were an oasis in the middle of a barren desert. The line between hatred and something that was definitely not that was completely gone, and this time you can’t blame the alcohol or the tension for the way your heart nearly bursts when he gently tilts your head to look at him.

“Jaehyun…” You call out weakly, not missing the way his eyes are almost begging you to believe him.

“I like you, dumbass. So much,” His voice is barely a whisper as he searches your face for any type of emotion.

You’re not drunk, you’re not vulnerable, and you definitely can’t ignore it anymore. The pounding of your heart in your chest is loud, urgent, and the butterflies that clutter your stomach demand your attention. The startling realization that Jaehyun was the only person who could evoke such a visceral physical reaction from you washes over you, and everything becomes clear to you as your eyes meet his.

You like Jaehyun, and you probably have for a long time.

“Oh shit,” You mutter to yourself, looking at him with a newfound sense of clarity.

“What is it?” Jaehyuns brows crease slightly at your words.

“I like you too,” You breathe out, the ghost of a smile on your lips as you look up at him with a glint of adoration in your eyes.

Jaehyun lets out a breath, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment as his body relaxes in relief.

“Thank fucking God.”

Without another thought, he tilts your head up and presses his lips against yours, his free hand securing itself on your waist as he tugs you closer. He holds you with the utmost conviction that you’d disappear from his very sight if he let go, his desperate hands holding you impossibly closer as your lips mold with his.

Your heart nearly bursts at the seams as you run your hands up his arms and past his shoulders, stopping to gently cup his face. You kiss him back with equal fervor, your body buzzing with what you could only describe as pure bliss. When your lungs begin to burn from the lack of oxygen, you both pull away, your chests heaving and cheeks tinted a bright pink as you both catch your breath.

“So you were pretending to hate me this whole time, huh?” Jaehyun pants, his hand sliding down to squeeze your hip.

You swat at his chest, your lips twitching into a small smile, “Shut up, before I take it back.”

His hands rest comfortably on your hips, as if they were meant to be there all this time, and he pulls you into his arms. “Nope, can’t take it back. You’re stuck with me.”

You laugh against his chest, wrapping your own arms around his torso as you rest your cheek against his chest. He sways you back and forth gently, a comfortable silence dawning on you two for a moment.

“So…now what?” You speak up, pulling away from the hug to look at him.

He considers you question for a moment as he looks at you, his adoration never fleeting as he tucks some hair behind your ear. “I’d really like if you were mine. How does that sound?”

You hum in mock thought, but the quckening of your heart and the unrelenting butterflies in your stomach know the answer to his question.

“I think I’d like it if you were mine too,” Your grin widens when you notice the way his eyes light up at your response.

“I was always yours, dumbass,” His dimples deepen as he lets out a laugh.

You hear what sounds like a wail coming from backstage, and you whip your head around in slight fear.

“Is someone back there? I can hear you,” You call out, your arms loosening around Jaehyun.

Donghyuck and Mark emerge from behind the curtains, sheepish grins on their faces as they wave at the both of you. You instinctively release your hold on Jaehyun, your face reddening as you realize that your best friends just witnessed everything.

“Are you guys stalkers or something? Why were you hiding back there?” You question as you cross your arms over your chest.

“I’m sorry, bub, but we couldn’t miss this. It was your boyfriends idea!” Donghyuck snitches, pointing an accusing finger at the boy next to you. You turn your head towards Jaehyun and raise an eyebrow at him.

“My fault?! I asked for your help, not for you to stalk us!” Jaehyun retorts.

“Same difference! What did you think we were going to do-” Hyuck defends himself, his words being cut short as Mark smacks him on the back of the head.

“If you were quieter, they wouldn’t have found out! You just had to start crying like a loser!” Mark points out.

“They were being so cute, I had to! I told you we could have played it off!” Hyuck sputters.

You shake your head as they both begin bickering in front of you, and you feel Jaehyun wrap a secure arm around your waist from behind you.

“Your boyfriend, hm? I could get used to that,” He speaks low enough so that only you could hear him.

You turn your head to look up at him and you’re tempted to deny the reality of the situation again, but the feeling of his thumb gently tracing shapes on your skin pushes any sense of insecurity you had out of the way. There was nothing to deny anymore, and you mentally confirm this when he gazes down at you, his eyes warm and reassuring.

“I could too.”

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'♪(๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)♪'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

NOTES: she’s finished!!! thank you so much for reading if you’ve made it this far<33 i hope you guys love this one as much as i loved writing it :))) more work coming soon my pretties💞💞💞💞

[fruithoughts]

. . . when he needs a new wallpaper

[suhnshinehaos]

‘ THROUGH THE YEARS ’ | j. suh

summary : you and johnny’s relationship told in your birthday posts over the years pairing : johnny suh x gn!reader genre/s : one-shot smau, non-idol au, pure fluff

*note : pics are not chronologically accurate + likes are a lil all over the place but let me have this i thought it would be cute and i reordered the pics after writing hahaha

from reese, with love <3

feel free to guess at which bday post they started being together hehe anyways, happy johnny day!! johnny was my bias when i first got into nct and he’s still my bias to this day! he is so dear to me, he deserves the world and i hope he had the best day.

thank you for reading, i’d love to know what you think! hope you’re doing well and taking care :)

[nctsplug02]

Johnny decorating you with a facial all over your face then proceeds to call you beautiful and his baby girl princess tehe while staring you in the eyes cleaning your face >

Princess Treatment j.suh

GENRE: smut n fluff!

WARNINGS: face fucking, oral sex (m receiving), kissing, and praising.

PAIRING: bad boy!johnny x nerdy!reader

“…that’s my good girl,” johnny hisses and bites his bottom lip while groping your ass.

you’re on your knees in front of johnny, letting the man fuck your throat in any way he pleased. he has your hair twisted in his fist while he slowly pushes your head down. your makeup that you’d spent hours on now ruined with tear streaks and drools spilling on the sides of your mouth.

“oh, fuck.” johnny lightly gasps, feeling your throat tighten around his tip.

johnnys hips buck causing his tip to slide deeper down your throat. it triggers your reflexes which make you choke around him.

the sudden bump causing your glasses to fall to the tip of your nose. quickly, you use your hand to push it up before focusing back on johnny.

“through your nose, baby—fuck, that’s it!” johnny holds you in place and lets out a string full of moans and groans.

“ooohhh, i’m gonna cum, princess.” johnny groans with his head tossed back, atoms apple bobbing, eyes rolling back, and abs tightening.

you can’t choose which to focus on—johnnys cock throbbing down your throat or your oxygen running out?

your nails dig into johnnys thigh and your palm meets his thigh repeatedly.

johnny releases you and you fling up, quickly gasping for all the air you could. “j—john—johnny—?” your jaw slacks even more when feeling ribbons of thick substances land on your face.

“oh, fuck—baby,” johnny gasps and reaches out for you but you’re in utter shock. “fuck, baby.” johnny strokes himself by the base.

johnny recovers quickly and finds you still with your face painted in his cum. he breaks out into a laughing fit and cradles you.

“i’m so sorry, my love.” johnny cups your face and gently pushes all of your stray hairs away from your face. “was i being too rough?” you shut your eyes and listen as johnny frantically yank tissues from the tissue box sitting on the coffee table.

“did i hurt you?” johnny begins to gently wipe your face with the tissues. “you did so good, princess.” you melt when feeling a pair of lips being pressed on your forehead.

johnny cups your face and gives you a kiss on your lips. “talk to me, princess.” you open your eyes and stare in his eyes.

you swore you could see deeply into his soul.

you and johnny sit in silence for a few minutes. “you’re so beautiful.” he finally breaks the silence with a fat grin on his face. “absolutely stunning.”

“are you okay, baby?” johnny kisses your forehead and pulls away to see you. “i’m okay, i promise.” you grasp his hand and give him a reassuring smile.

johnny pulls you onto his lap and rubs your knees. “do your knees hurt?” you shake your head. “are you sure?” you nod but your red knees say otherwise.

johnny pulls you in for a kiss and slowly switches the two of you until you’re under him. you giggle and break the kiss when feeling johnnys dick poke you.

“i’m sorry,” you put a hand on johnnys chest and look down; he’s still rock hard.

you raise your eyes back to johnnys and shiver, his eyes are dark and hungry. “h—hi.” he giggles and pushes up your glasses. “hi, pretty.”

“you ready for my cock, pretty girl?” you bite your lip and nod. “use your words, baby.” you shudder, feeling johnny tease your entrance with his tip.

“yes sir.” your breath hitches.

you look down, watching as johnny teases your cunt. growing impatient because he hasn’t done a single thing yet.

“please, johnny.” you beg with your hands squeezing his biceps. “please.”

johnny smiles, “anything for you, my pretty girl.” he whispers and flicks your clit once more with his tip. “happy valentine’s day to us, baby.”

“oh, fuck.” you moan out, feeling johnny fill you up within seconds.

it indeed was a happy valentine day.

[queeenarii]

I am absolutely appalled at the lack of WayV and 127 content on this app. Soooo I decided to make my own text fics. ����🤭 hope y'all enjoy.

Minors🔞 do not engage!!!

I'll try to make more gender neutral stuff going forward!!! also as an autistic, I use tone tags soooo. If they don't help you. Then just ignore them 👍🏾👍🏾

Suggestive!!

When you post a sexy pic on Instagram

Included are Hendery, Kun, and Johnny

[taetr4ck]

PLEASE MAKE MORE NCT 127 TEXTS AS RANDOM ASS JOBS 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

NCT 127 AS YOUR UBER DRIVER TEXTS !

uber driver!nct 127 x reader, no warnings — crack. taglist form.

a/n : YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND ANON 🫡 i actually love making these so much these are just so.. unhinged 😭🙏🏻 also ty, mark, and haechan’s aren’t mine! (at some parts lol)

taglist : @soul-is-a-strange-kid @haechansbbg @bath1lda @k-labels

⋆ taetr4ck, est may 2023. / requests open

[viasdreams]

・・・・・

losing johhny to the wrong side of the internet

・read part 2 here

a/n: tbh i thought this was going to be a lot worse :P

fake text m.list ☁︎⋅

[multifandomslxt]

Quiet Rage

MDNI

MINORS GO AWAY

Pairing: bsf!Johnny x reader

Synopsis: You wanted to test a theory and ended up making Johnny "Quiet Rage" Suh pissed all the way off. Surely he wouldn't take it out on you though right? after all, you were his best friend.

WARNING: THIS IS SMUT...arguably one of my dirtiest yet. reader is a little shit and Johnny is the quiet guy in the friend group. Johnny in glasses. Dirty and I mean DIRTY talk. spit, sweat, mentions of bruising skin, drooling, overstimulation, exhibitionism via video call, just dirty stuff alright

A/N: This took forever to get out and I apologize for that. it's exam season and I really wanted this out so I pulled some all-nighters. so I apologize for the grammatical errors and so on. I'm very very nervous about this because I did not expect the teaser to get that much attention. but anyway, enjoyyy. @neoculturecollectives @calibabii21

"I swear, Johnny's into you," your girlfriend claims, and you almost spit out your latte. You shoot her a look, throat burning, and coffee dribbling down your chin. "What the hell makes you say that?"

She rolls her eyes, handing you a napkin. "Come on, babe. The guy gives you that intense stare all the time."

You stare at her in disbelief. "He gives everyone that stare. It's just Johnny."

She grunts in frustration. "Y/n, he calls you 'baby' for crying out loud."

You shrug, trying to play it cool. "So? It's not like it's some romantic declaration."

This scenario is all too familiar, and it annoys you. People always misread Johnny and you, trying to turn your perfectly platonic relationship into something more.

"Alright, if you're so confident, come with me to Jay's party tonight," she challenges.

Your heart sinks.

Jay, aka Jaehyun, is her boyfriend, and you've crossed paths quite a bit. But you already know you can't go.

"He doesn't like you like that, right? So let's settle it, Y/n. Let's end the speculation."

"That's dumb. I don't need to prove anything," you argue. But truth be told, your heart is still doing somersaults. You both know why you won't go, or rather, can't.

Johnny has this strict no-party rule for you. Sounds stupid, but it's his way of keeping you safe. One bad experience with some idiot led to this.

"Come on, just this once, and I'll drop it, promise," she pleads.

"Fine" you reply, already feeling your energy drain.

~

You find yourselves in what's supposed to be Jay's living room turned dance floor.

"Where's that man?" your friend complains beside you.

You hadn't been paying much attention to her anyway. Tonight, you're on a mission to prove a point. Yep, you're scanning for Johnny.

"Yo, ladies!" A familiar voice greets you from behind.

It's Mark. Awkward, cute, and definitely on some kind of high.

weed probably

"Markieee." you smiled and hugged him.

"Have you seen Jay?" your friend asks, not even bothering to greet Mark.

"In the upstairs bathroom," Mark replies, the thumping bass of the music echoing through the house.

"Thanks, y/n, call me if you need me," she says, her voice almost drowned out by the distant laughter and chatter.

"Okay," you agree, even though you know she's most likely going to be too busy to pick up. With that, she confidently stalks off into the lively chaos to find her man.

You're still hugging Mark throughout that, the music's pulsating rhythm vibrating through your bodies, and neither of you makes a move to release the other.

"Markie, how high are you right now?" you ask, half amused and half concerned, the scent of various substances hanging in the air.

"I'm not high," he insists, his words slightly slurred.

Yep, he's as high as a damn kite. "Alright, let's get you seated," you decide, guiding him through the animated crowd.

You hug him a little tighter to your side as you maneuver through the sea of people, completely unaware that the man you had been scanning for was silently observing you from across the dimly lit room.

Johnny tilts his head ever so slightly, the ambient lights flickering, casting enigmatic shadows on his intense expression as he observes you cradling the nearly unconscious Mark in your arms.

"Yo, Johnny! Where you goin'?" Heachan's voice echoes from the kitchen, where the clinking of glasses and laughter weave through the air.

"You can't bail on me now, man. You promised to try this strain with me," Hexhan pleads, his tone a mix of whining and cajoling.

"Another time," Johnny responds tersely, striding away without a backward glance.

Johnny can't fathom any sober reason for Mark to be draped over you like that.

"And you shouldn't even be here," Johnny muses to himself.

"Y/n," his gruff voice calls out, a single word that carries volumes.

You pivot, finding yourself face to face with your long-time best friend, a man whose relationship with you blurs between suspected boyfriend, occasional fling, or perhaps something more permanent.

His towering figure looms over you like an impending storm, his mouth contorted in a sneer, eyebrows knitted in displeasure. A quick appraisal reveals he's opted for a relaxed ensemble tonight—black hoodie and grey joggers, his signature black rimmed glasses resting on his nose.

"Johnny, I've been looking for you. Where the hell were y--"

"Y/n, have I ever told you that your tits make the best pillows ever? Oh my god," Mark interjects, completely oblivious to Johnny's presence.

In one swift motion, Johnny shoves Mark away, causing him to collide with people behind you.

"Johnny, what the fuck!" you gasp, caught off guard.

"What are you doing here, Y/n? I'm only asking once," Johnny demands, his hand firmly gripping the back of your neck, forcefully pulling you into the shelter of his chest.

"Answer the question."

"I'm here for you," you assert, making no attempt to deceive.

"You could've called me if you missed me so much, baby," he responds, his voice softening, and his eyebrows gradually easing.

"Yeah, I know, but I wanted to have fun too," you argue.

It becomes apparent that you've made the wrong choice as his hand tightens slightly around your neck.

"Have fun at home. No parties. I'm sure I told you that," his voice remains calm, but the increasing pressure on the back of your neck contradicts his demeanor.

"Go home. Now," he states, leaving no room for argument.

For a moment, your body twitches as if to comply, but it seems you're on a defiant streak tonight.

"No. I'll stay and have fun. I've seen you now, so I'll just go look for the others and enjoy myself," you declare.

He stares at you, a blank facial expression revealing nothing.

"Y/n, baby, go home," he says softly.

Successfully prying yourself from his grip, you retort, "No."

You stalk off, leaving him standing in the middle of the living room, hands straight by his sides, and his gaze unwaveringly black yet watchful.

As you navigate through the crowd, encounter familiar faces here and there.

~

You find yourself on your umpteenth shot of tequila when, unexpectedly, you're invited to a game of truth or dare, courtesy of Haechan.

Johnny is nowhere to be found, and the absence begins to stir a sense of worry and nervousness within you.

The game had unfolded over an extended period, leaving your mind increasingly hazy with each passing moment. Holding your liquor was never your forte.

You observed as the bottle spun and twirled before ultimately settling on the guy positioned beside you.

"dare" the guy simply said.

"I dare you to kiss y/n," Haechan's slurred yet mischievous voice announced.

As Haechan proclaimed his dare, Johnny ambled into the room, seemingly oblivious to your presence, it left you feeling bothered and angry.

Fine, you mused, if he's going to act that way.

Perhaps it was the influence of the alcohol coursing through your system or some other inscrutable force, but you found yourself impulsively lunging towards the guy next to you. Teeth clashed in a messy, audacious kiss, and, fueled by the audacity of the dare, you dared to explore further by delving your tongue into his mouth.

A cheer erupted from the onlookers, making your heart swell.

Basking in the attention, you pushed the boundaries, only to be abruptly seized by the neck for the second time that night, this time by none other than Johnny himself.

Without hesitation, he mused, "Go to the car and sit. I'll be there soon."

"But, Joh—"

"Go. To. The. Car, Y/n, and shut your fucking mouth. I said I'll be there soon," he asserted, his words punctuated through gritted teeth.

~

The last ten minutes had passed in utter silence as both of you sat in the car.

When Johnny finally slid into the driver's seat, his gaze never once met yours. Without a word, he started the car and left the party, only sparing you attention when he needed to secure your seatbelt.

The oppressive silence weighed on you.

"That was a fun game, wasn't it?" you ventured, attempting to break the tension.

Silence persisted.

"I bet Haechan has a video of it. Probably gonna send it to the group later," you added, attempting to inject a touch of levity into the atmosphere, though your laughter carried an undercurrent of awkwardness.

"Quit playing with me." He bites back, completely unamused by your attempt at a joke.

Your body stills as you stare wide-eyed at the man beside you. You didn't expect that from him. He wasn't the type to be so aggressive, especially with you.

"I didn't mean for that to happen, John." You said weakly. He had to understand, you were just trying to get his attention.

"But it did y/n and now I'm gonna have to show you what happens when you don't fucking listen" He rages quietly, eyes still on the road ahead.

It was always quiet with him.

little did you know.

To the untrained eye, he seemed cool and collected. But, you could tell he wasn't quite there. Maybe it was the way he squeezed the life out of the steering wheel or how he kept clenching and unclenching his jaw. Or, you know, the massive tent in his pants…

either way, you knew

somehow, you managed to piss off Johnny Suh.

"I suggest you start thinking of a way to apologize because you have no fucking idea what I have planned for you." He momentarily looks at you just long enough for you to see the dangerous glint in his eyes

~

Arriving at Johnny's apartment, you found yourself comfortably settled on his couch while he busied himself in the kitchen, fetching a glass of water for you. Since his remark on the way here, a palpable silence hung in the air.

As he approached you with the glass of water, he broke the silence, "Thought of a way to apologize yet?"

You glanced up at him from your spot on the couch. "I'm sorry. I should've listened to you," you managed to utter, your gaze dropping to the floor, a strange sense of shame washing over you.

He snorted in response, "That's all you came up with, Y/n?"

Meeting his disappointed gaze, you took a deep breath. "I should've known better," you added quietly.

He sighed, handing you the glass of water. "Drink."

Taking the glass from his hands, you started sipping as he watched you in silence. Then, without breaking eye contact, he nonchalantly remarked, "I'm going to fuck some sense into you and then fuck it out of you."

You choked on your water, hastily wiping at your mouth as you stared at him in disbelief.

"Your apology wasn't going to satisfy me anyway. I made up my mind when you said no the first time," he asserted, his tone casual yet loaded with an underlying intensity that left you flustered and strangely intrigued.

"And what if I don't want it." You daringly ask.

you knew you did.

The way he was watching you made that clear as day.

"Then say no." He shrugs

"Now finish the drink and head upstairs when you're done."he adds

and you did exactly that.

~

Johnny was a man. You knew that, he knew that, and the whole world knew that. But sometimes, it felt like you didn't always keep that obvious characteristic at the forefront of your mind, as you should have.

Entering the room, nothing struck you as special. It was the same as always: his bed in the middle of the space, surrounded by walls adorned with retro posters and pictures he had taken over the years with friends, family, and you. Despite the numerous times you had visited his home, particularly his room, it didn't feel as intimate as it did now, and for some reason, that excited you.

As you let your gaze wander, movement from the door pulled you out of your thoughts, and you turned your focus to a strangely quiet Johnny.

You both stood in silence, staring at each other for what felt like long, drawn-out minutes.

"I didn't think I'd have to tell you to strip, y/n," he said seriosusly.

You hiccup, startled. "E-excuse me?"

He stepped closer to you. "Fucking strip."

Your heart hammered in your chest at the complete unfamiliarity of the situation.

"John, you can't be seri—"

His hands fisted in your hair, causing you to tilt your head up, meeting his hard gaze. "Strip. I won't ask again. You're always free to leave, y/n, but you and I both know you don't want to."

~

"move your hand"

you twist and turn writhing your body all over his bed, hand trying to stop his fingers from fucking into you.

"Johnny, please! I said i was sorry " you scream as tears line your eyes

"I said move your fucking hand" he grabs your writs and pins the above your head

his fingers pummeling into you repeatedly. long and thick. you felt like you could feel all the ridges and callouses on them. all the fucking veins. it was torture.

SQUELCH SQUELCH

you try to squeeze your thighs together only for him to pry them back open almost immediately.

it was almost embarrassing just how wet you were really

"God. Fuck you're all over my sheets baby hmm" he moans his eyes never leaving your pussy.

almost.

that did it for you though

"Johnny, Johnny m'cumming"

“not yet baby”

you couldn't hold it

“Y/n, I said not yet” his actions contradicted his words as his fingers curled rubbing against your g spot

your body involuntarily shoots up off the bed as your lower abdomen contracts

"I can't hold it."

You cum with a high-pitched scream. Squirting all over Johnny's hand before lifelessly falling back on the bed.

you’re trying to get your breathing under control when you hear Johnny’s displeased voice

"you don't fucking listen do you"

fingers still in you, he manages to add even more pleasure relentlessly pumping into you

your legs start trembling from the intense pressure building in your abdomen once again.

Your scream is ear piercing as you cum for the fourth time

fifth...

you don't even know.

gosh, He hadn't even fucked you yet

you didn't even realize the drool running down your chin. eyes rolled back and lashes fluttering, your skin gleaming with sweat and thighs trembling. Your chest heaved as you breathed hard still coming down from your high.

In Johnny's eyes, you looked so fucked out and so fucking pretty.

He knew his version of foreplay was intense but he also knew he took it a bit further just for you.

his stubborn girl. He loved it but you needed to be taught a lesson.

with your mouth wide agape, he takes the opportunity of your oblivious state and shoves his middle and index finger down your throat causing you to gag.

"taste yourself...that's right baby suck my fingers clean" He coos as your mouth clings to his fingers.

when satisfied he pulls his away

"knees" is all he says.

you mumble uncoherent words trying to tell him you can't get up but it seems he is already way ahead of you helping you get comfortable in your position on the floor.

He begins to pull his sweatpants down revealing his erection fighting against the fabric of his black underwear. he wastes no time in pulling his cock out and you almost drool.

so harsh but so fucking pretty.

big and veiny with the prettiest pink tip. No wonder the foreplay was so intense. there was no way he was gonna fit without stretching you that much.

You look up at him with hopeful eyes. you wanted him in your mouth so fucking bad your pussy actually ached.

"So cute," he spits in the palm of his hand before bringing it down to stroke his cock.

"open and suck" He states.

Wasting no time your hands replace his and you begin to pump his pretty cock. you lick from the base of his pretty cock to the even prettier pink tip teasing him just a little with small kitten licks

"no teasing" he warns.

But of course, you don't listen continuing to push him over the edge with those kitten licks. even having the audacity to maintain eye contact while doing it.

You see the way his jaw clenches as he loses his patience and grabs the back of your head thrusting and forcing his cock to hit the back of your throat.

Your eyes widen and begin to water as you start to harshly breathe through your nose.

Gagging multiple times as he continues to relentlessly fuck your mouth

"no teasing and you continue to fucking tease huh? who's fucking in charge here y/n? Who's fucking cock's fucking your pretty mouth?"

not being able to speak you hum around his cock watching as his gaze becomes more sadistic by the second.

"Ah fuck, you're gonna make me cum like this baby?" you hum in response causing him to groan from the vibrations

"Ah, shit"

You watch his expression contort into a pained one before he somehow manages to make his cock hit even further than the back of your throat and cums in your mouth.

"Dont waste it, baby, swallow for me" he says airly

you swallowed his mouth full of cum. loving the pleasantly salty taste.

you wheezed and choked so overwhelmed with just how rough Johnny really was.

Where was this side of him hiding?

holy fuck

"your mouth, keep it open," he grumbles still heaving firm his previous orgasm.

you open your mouth a gain forming an 'O' shape and surprise takes you as he spits in your mouth before lightly slapping you across the face.

your hair was all over the place and your entire face was decorated with a mixture of precum, smudged makeup, tears, snot, and sweat

"Atta Girl." he praises you.

He helps you to your feet before giving you a quick peck on your lips

"turn around and bend over. Yeah just like that... spread your legs for me"

you used the bed as support as you got into the desired position.

he wastes no time thrusting his cock into you rough and hard.

the sound of skin slapping and the squelching of your pussy around him cause your knees to buckle as you threaten to lose your stance.

You were gonna cum soon.

feeling your swaying form, he grabs your neck pulling you into him as your back meets his chest

"don't you fucking dare" he threatens.

"Ah... please please, please! m'sorry... m'so sorry I won't do it again just please make me cum john, I'll be good I swear" you cry gasping for air between words. soon your sentences jumble into a whole lot of nothing.

he keeps his hand wrapped around your neck as he uses the other to hold your hand behind your back

"no. Cum when I say so. you need to learn to fucking listen."

snapping his hips at a quick pace.

the area around your hips already beginning to bruise from how hard he was holding you.

"t'much please johnny!" You scream as your legs begin to shake for the umpteenth time

"you can fucking take it. This is what you wanted right? To piss me off? Having mark all on you like that?" he says begrudgingly

he grabs your left breast and squeezes your nipple hard enough for your pussy to clench around him

"so damn sensitive" he whispers in awe.

he pulls out and pushes you on the bed. you look back and he's

standing over you with messy hair, dark eyes, and a cock so erect it slapped against his stomach with the slightest movement.

"get on your back and spread your legs" he says pulling your legs to the edge of the bed .

You flip over and he immediately fucks into you even harder than before.

once again your hands flay erratically as you scream trying to get away from the aching pleasure that was starting to make you see double.

"look at that baby, " he coos eyes staring at your stomach.

you look down and see his cock bulging in your lower abdomen.

You gasp at the sight

'Johnny please" you whimper not even sure what you are asking for.

"I might just fuck a baby into you. keep you home like a good little wife hmm." he says seriously, eyes still set on the bulging in your lower abdomen.

you clenched around him liking the sound of carrying his children

"you like that huh? " He groans

you nod as tears start to stream down your face.

suddenly he stops thrusting causing you to cry out

"Just gimmie a second baby gotta fix your mistake," he says as he reaches over to his nightstand picking up his phone.

"I'm calling Mark " he says nonchalantly causing your heart to race.

"you're off-limits and they fucking know that but it seems all of you need to be reminded of how things are tonight hm?"

the dial tone blares out before a muffled "hello?" comes through the speaker. Mark.

"watch " Johnny says before he thrusts into you so fucking deep you could taste him

you moan loudly

barley registering the "fucking hell, man" that comes from the phone. That was Haechan

'watch' Johnny had said earlier and you begin to understand that it was a video call.

Mark and Haechan were witnessing Johnny fuck you into oblivion.

"see this? this is my fucking pussy and nobody else can fucking have it." he fucks your relentlessly a familiar feeling building in your stomach.

"j-johnny its t'much"

"nah, you can fucking take it."

"oh, fuck! " you scream into the pillow

"my fucking pussy and she can't give it away ain't that right y/n"

"mhmm" you say not having the strength actually speak.

you cum with a shiver and a whine and even then he didn't stop

still drilling his cock into you

overstimulating you more and more

you try to get away and he never once let his cock leave you.

"tell them how many times you cum tonight." He challenges, knowing full well that you couldn't form a word much less a sentence at the moment.

you mutter random words too fucked out to think

a sharp slap to your face brings you back

"how many fucking times?" he says through clenched teeth

"Alot" you scream.

"good girl" he says before hanging up the phone and throwing it across the room.

"just give me one more" he continues.

you moan as your toes curl from the overwhelming sensations building in your stomach

with a sharp thrust, you squirt all over Johnny's cock just as he cums inside you.

"next time you do that shit I’ll fuck you right in front of them instead of over the phone."

[hynzsn]

★ SAFE HAVEN ★

☆ johnny suh x male reader

-> boyfriend!johnny x depressed!reader

꩜ .ᐟ hurt/comfort, fluff

contents: caring!johnny, established relationship, reader has daddy issues, unhealthy coping mechanisms (not eating, isolating), implied/referenced emotional abuse (from reader’s father), swearing, hugs, pet names (babe, baby), reassurance from johnny

wc: 2.7k

summary: you’ve been mia for weeks - ghosting calls, barely eating, and basically becoming one with your bed. the voice in your head, it sounds a lot like your father, and it keeps telling you you’re worthless. good thing johnny’s voice - one that whispers sweet nothings and promises of forever - is even louder.

♡︎♡︎♡︎ likes, comments and reblogs are highly appreciated ♡︎♡︎♡︎

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

[8:37 PM] 📱-> johnny 💝: yo, babe wtf?! you alive over there?? it’s been a minute…

[8:37 PM]📱-> johnny 💝: okay, jokes aside… please text me back. i’m worried about you 😔

[8:41 PM]📱-> johnny 💝: …

[8:45PM]📱-> johnny 💝: i’m coming over.

the messages sat unread, another three little gray bubbles added to the ever-growing count on your lock screen. you didn’t even bother to glance at them before letting your phone clatter back onto the mattress.

it wasn’t supposed to be like this. you were supposed to be the strong one, the one who always had it together, the one who could handle anything life threw at you with a smirk and a sarcastic quip. but lately, the mask had been feeling heavier, the edges digging into your skin, the forced smile making your cheeks ache.

you’d been spiraling for a while now, the familiar darkness creeping in like a fog, suffocating the joy out of everything. it started subtly – skipping meals, pushing deadlines, letting texts go unanswered. then it escalated, the isolation becoming a comforting cocoon as you withdrew further and further into yourself.

your phone buzzed again, the insistent vibration making you flinch. you knew it was johnny. he was the only one who still bothered, who saw through the carefully constructed facade you presented to the world.

he’d seen you at your worst – the breakdowns, the insecurities, the ugly crying sessions fueled by cheap instant ramen and self-loathing. and through it all, he never judged, never wavered. he was your rock, your anchor in the storm that raged within you.

but even rocks could crumble under enough pressure, and you couldn’t bear the thought of dragging him down with you. so, you did what you always did – you pushed everyone away, retreating into the fortress of your own making.

[9:36 PM]

a sharp knock on the door jolted you from your thoughts. you froze, heart hammering in your chest. you weren’t expecting anyone, hadn’t spoken to another soul in days.

the knocking came again, more insistent this time.

“fuck,” you muttered, dragging yourself out of bed. your reflection in the darkened tv screen made you wince. you looked like a ghost – pale, gaunt, with dark circles etched beneath your eyes.

“i’m coming, hold on!” you called out, your voice raspy from disuse.

as you fumbled with the multiple locks on your door, a wave of dizziness washed over you. you leaned against the wall for support, taking a deep breath to steady yourself.

the door swung open, revealing johnny standing in the hallway, his face a mixture of relief and concern.

“hey,” he said softly, his gaze sweeping over you, taking in your disheveled appearance.

“hey,” you mumbled back, avoiding his eyes.

“can i come in?” he asked, his voice gentle.

you hesitated for a moment before stepping aside, allowing him to enter.

the moment he stepped inside, johnny’s face fell. the air was thick with the smell of unwashed laundry and stale takeout containers littered the coffee table. the curtains were drawn, casting the apartment in a perpetual twilight.

“jesus, babe,” he breathed, running a hand through his hair. “what the fuck happened?”

you shrugged, unable to meet his gaze. “nothing. just… tired.”

he didn’t buy it for a second. he crossed the room in a few strides, pulling you into a hug. you stiffened initially, surprised by the sudden contact, but then you melted into his embrace, the warmth of his body a balm to your aching soul.

“don’t lie to me,” he murmured into your hair. “i know something’s wrong. you’ve been mia for weeks.”

you buried your face in his chest, inhaling the familiar scent of his cologne – a comforting mix of sandalwood and something uniquely him.

“i’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice muffled by his shirt. “i didn’t mean to worry you.”

“worry me?” he chuckled humorlessly. “you scared the shit out of me, you know that? i thought something had happened to you.”

“i’m sorry,” you repeated, the words catching in your throat.

he pulled back slightly, cupping your face in his hands and forcing you to look at him. his eyes, usually so full of warmth and humor, were filled with concern.

“talk to me,” he pleaded. “what’s going on in that head of yours?”

you hesitated, unsure of where to begin. how could you possibly explain the tangled mess of emotions that had taken root in your mind, choking the life out of you?

“it’s just…” you started, your voice cracking. “everything feels… pointless. like i’m just going through the motions, you know?”

he nodded slowly, encouraging you to continue.

“i feel like i’m drowning, johnny,” you confessed, tears welling up in your eyes. “and the worst part is, i don’t even know why. i have no reason to feel this way. i have a good life, a great boyfriend…”

“hey, hey,” he interrupted, wiping away a stray tear with his thumb. “it’s okay to not be okay. you don’t need a reason to feel the way you do. sometimes life just throws you a curveball, and you just gotta roll with it.”

his words, so simple yet profound, struck a chord within you. you had always felt the pressure to be strong, to have it all figured out. but maybe it was okay to not be okay. maybe it was okay to ask for help.

“i hate that you’re right,” you said, managing a weak smile.

he chuckled, the sound warming you from the inside out. “that’s my boy.”

he pulled you back into a hug, this time tighter than before. you clung to him, letting his strength seep into you, chasing away the shadows that had been haunting you for so long.

“you know i’m here for you, right?” he murmured against your hair. “always.”

you nodded, burying your face in his chest, unwilling to let go. in his arms, you felt safe, protected from the storm raging within you.

“always,” you echoed, a single tear escaping and tracing a path down your cheek.

johnny didn’t let you go for a long time, holding you close as if he were afraid you might disappear if he loosened his grip. the steady beat of his heart against your ear, the warmth of his body pressed against yours – it was a lifeline, pulling you back from the brink.

when he finally pulled away, his expression was serious. “okay, enough of this moping around,” he said, his voice firm but gentle. “first things first, we’re getting some real food in you. and i’m not talking about that instant ramen crap.”

you opened your mouth to protest, but he silenced you with a look. “don’t even try it,” he said, a playful glint in his eye. “i know your eating habits have been shit lately. i can practically see your ribs.”

he was right, of course. you hadn’t had a proper meal in days, surviving on a steady diet of instant noodles and self-pity. but the thought of food made your stomach churn.

“i’m not really hungry,” you mumbled, averting your gaze.

he raised an eyebrow, his expression skeptical. “right, and i’m the tooth fairy. come on, babe, humor me.”

he didn’t wait for a response, instead taking your hand and pulling you towards the door. you stumbled after him, your legs shaky from disuse.

“where are we going?” you asked, your voice barely a whisper.

“my place,” he replied over his shoulder. “my fridge is stocked with enough food to feed a small army. and before you protest, you need a shower and a change of clothes, sweetheart. you reek of despair and instant ramen.”

he said it with so much affection, you couldn’t even be embarrassed. he was right, though. a shower did sound amazing.

the drive to johnny’s apartment was a blur. you sat in the passenger seat, watching the city lights stream by, your mind racing with a million thoughts per minute.

as he pulled into his parking spot, you couldn’t help but feel a surge of envy. his life seemed so…put together. he had his dream job as an idol, a spacious apartment with a view, and everyone adores him.

you, on the other hand, felt like you were constantly playing catch-up, like you were always one step behind everyone else. your dead-end job at the call center barely paid the bills, your apartment was a testament to your inability to adult properly, and theres the fact that… well, you feel completely lonely. sometimes, you couldn’t help but feel like you were holding johnny back, embarrassing him. you and johnny have been together for a while now, but the thought of what he actually see’s in you still lingers in the back of your mind…

“you coming?” johnny’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts. he was already out of the car, holding the passenger door open for you.

you forced a smile, hoping it reached your eyes. “yeah, sorry. just lost in thought.”

he gave you a knowing look, but he didn’t press further. he knew better than to push you when you were like this.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

his apartment was everything yours wasn’t – bright, spacious, and impeccably decorated. you felt a pang of guilt, realizing you hadn’t even bothered to tidy up before he came over.

“go on, shower’s in there,” he said, gesturing down the hallway. “towels are in the linen closet. i’ll find you something to wear.”

you almost protested, but the feel of johnny’s softest t-shirt in your hands stopped you. it even smelled like him. you quickly showered, washing away the grime and the lingering sadness that clung to you like a bad cologne.

stepping out, you found the promised clothes on the counter. you pulled on the soft t-shirt, the scent of him enveloping you like a warm hug. it was comforting, familiar. safe.

you found johnny in the kitchen, already dicing vegetables with practiced ease. he looked up as you entered, a soft smile gracing his lips.

“there’s my boy,” he murmured, his gaze lingering for a moment on how his shirt hung on you. “feeling a little more human?”

you nodded, unable to stop the small smile that tugged at your lips. “yeah,” you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. “yeah, i think i am.”

he was right. a shower, his clothes, his presence – it was already working its magic.

“good,” he said, his smile widening. “make yourself comfortable, baby,” he said, gesturing towards the plush sofa. “it’ll be ready soon.”

you sank onto the sofa, sinking into the soft cushions. you closed your eyes, letting out a sigh of contentment. you had forgotten how good it felt to be here.

“so,” he said, his voice coming from the kitchen. “talk to me. what’s got you so down?”

you opened your eyes, watching as he moved around the kitchen with an ease that never failed to amaze you. he was wearing a pair of sweatpants and a loose t-shirt, his hair tousled from running his fingers through it a million times.

you sighed, running a hand through your damp hair. “it’s just…everything,” you mumbled, not wanting to burden him with your problems.

he stopped what he was doing, turning to face you, his expression serious. “don’t do that,” he said, his voice firm. “don’t shut me out. talk to me.”

you hesitated, unsure of where to begin. how could you possibly explain the suffocating weight of your father’s expectations, the constant feeling of never being good enough, the fear that you were destined to end up alone and miserable just like him?

“it’s stupid,” you said, your voice barely a whisper.

“nothing you say is stupid,” he reassured you, walking over and sitting down beside you on the sofa.

you took a deep breath, steeling yourself. “it’s just…my dad called.”

johnny’s face hardened. he knew how much your father’s words could cut you, how deeply his disapproval ran.

“what did he say?” he asked, his voice tight.

you closed your eyes, the memory of your father’s condescending tone, his thinly veiled insults, sending a shiver down your spine.

“the usual,” you mumbled. “disappointment. failure. you know the drill.”

you opened your eyes to find johnny watching you, his expression a mixture of anger and concern.

“he’s an asshole, you know that right?” he said, his voice low and dangerous. “you’re worth ten of him, and don’t you ever forget that.”

you wanted to believe him, you really did. but the truth was, his words, as much as they stung, had a way of burrowing under your skin, planting seeds of doubt that were hard to shake off.

“it’s not that easy, johnny,” you said, your voice laced with frustration. “it’s like…it’s like his voice is always in my head, telling me i’m not good enough, that i’ll never amount to anything.”

johnny wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer until your head rested against his chest. you could hear the steady thump of his heart, a comforting rhythm against the chaos of your own thoughts.

“then we fight back,” he murmured, his voice a low rumble against your ear. “we drown out his voice with other voices – voices that love you, voices that support you, voices that remind you of your worth.”

he tilted your chin up with his finger, forcing you to meet his gaze. his eyes, usually so full of warmth and humor, were blazing with a fierce intensity that took your breath away.

“you are not your father,” he said, his voice firm but gentle. “you are kind, you are talented, you are worthy of love. don’t ever let anyone, not even your own blood, tell you otherwise.”

his words, spoken with such conviction, such unwavering belief, pierced through the darkness that had settled over you. for the first time in what felt like forever, you felt a glimmer of hope, a tiny spark igniting within the ashes of your despair.

“what would i do without you?” you whispered, your voice thick with emotion.

he chuckled, the sound a balm to your soul. “probably starve to death in a pile of dirty laundry,” he teased, his tone light despite the seriousness of the moment.

you swatted his arm playfully, a genuine smile finally reaching your lips. “hey, i’ll have you know i did laundry last week,” you retorted, even though you both knew it was a blatant lie.

he laughed, the sound echoing through the apartment, chasing away the last vestiges of darkness.

“alright, alright, i believe you,” he said, raising his hands in mock surrender. “now, how about that food i promised you? i’m starving.”

he stood up, pulling you along with him. you followed him into the kitchen, your heart feeling lighter than it had in days.

as he moved around the kitchen, preparing a simple but delicious meal of kimchi fried rice and bulgogi, you watched him with a newfound appreciation. he wasn’t just your boyfriend; he was your best friend, your confidante, your rock. he was the one person who never gave up on you, even when you had given up on yourself.

you ate in comfortable silence, the only sound the clinking of chopsticks and the occasional contented sigh. it was amazing how something as simple as a good meal and good company could make the world seem a little less bleak.

after dinner, you helped johnny wash the dishes, the two of you falling into an easy rhythm as you worked side-by-side. as you scrubbed a particularly stubborn pot, you felt his gaze on you.

“what?” you asked, looking up at him with a questioning smile.

“nothing,” he replied, shaking his head. “It’s just… i’m glad you’re here.”

you knew what he meant. he wasn’t just talking about being physically present in his apartment; he was talking about letting him in, letting him see the real you, the broken, messy parts that you usually kept hidden from the world.

“me too,” you whispered, leaning against him, seeking his warmth, his strength.

he wrapped his arms around you, holding you close.

“you’re safe here, you know,” he murmured against your hair. “safe with me.”

you closed your eyes, letting his words wash over you, soothing the ache in your heart. In his arms, you felt a sense of peace you hadn’t realized you were craving. he was your safe haven, your refuge from the storm.

and as you stood there, wrapped in his embrace, you knew that no matter what life threw your way, you’d be alright, with him by your side.

[bee-the-loser-recs]

~~~☼ My Johnny One-shot Fic Recs ☼~~~

𖤓 Forget me too By @yutaholic 16k, exes to lovers au, fluff, angst, reader left without saying goodbye, smut, promise of returning one day, alcohol use, reuniting at a wedding

𖤓 Make me move By @yutaholic 17k, Idol Johnny, past lover reader, hidden child, 13 years later, too scared to ask him to stay, fluff, angst, smut, baby daddy au, past pregnancy, secret child

𖤓 Daddy issues By @yutaholic 19k, fake dating kind of, high society reader, biker Johnny, fucked up family dynamics, angst, smut, slight fluff, mentions of cigarettes & weed, reader self destructs a lot

𖤓 Valentine By @jaelvr 500, college au, best friends to lovers, parties, tipsy reader, confessions, mutual feelings, fluff, rather cute

𖤓 The Perfect Note: Act I & Act II By @tedeehbear 10.3k & 16.5k, college au, supernatural au, alpha Johnny, omega reader, soulmate connections, fluff, angst, smut, best friends Jungwoo & Jaehyun, drunk hook ups, scenting

𖤓 A kiss & a dress shirt By @espresseo-cafe 4.4k, college au, valentines days, mutual friends to lovers, public asking out, fluff, reader gets their period while on a date, popular Johnny, cute dates

𖤓 Foreign swaggers By @starillusion13 8k, Johnny | Jaehyun | Mark x reader, brother's best friend au, Taeyong is reader's brother, shared vacation, smut, fluff, polyamory, enemies to friends to lovers, drinking

𖤓 Birthday surprise By @babbymochiiii 1.7k, non-specified au, established relationship, straight up smut, some fluff, romance, birthday surprises, romance

𖤓 Favorite place By @lovesuhng 1.2k, college au, reader is stress over exams, best friends to lovers, fluff, Johnny looks after reader, going to the beach together, so cute

𖤓 Dear Johnny By @suhnshinehaos SMAU, small one-shot, non-idol au, fluff, mentions to Taylor Swift

𖤓 Seeking a friend for the end of the world By @suhnshinehaos SMAU, non-idol au, end of the world au, angst, slight fluff, reconnecting for the last few days, implied deaths

𖤓 Quarantine Chronicles 1, part 2, part 3 By @domjaehyun 28.5k & 55.3k & 43k, Quarantine au, Jaemin | Jaehyun | Jungwoo | Johnny | Mark | (Jeno | Haechan in part 3 only) x reader, roommates (except Mark), friends with benefits situation, lots of tension & flirting, smut, slight fluff, crack, Jaehyun & Mark have actual feelings for reader

𖤓 Oh, boy, it's you By @domjaehyun 30k, non-idol au, soulmates au, college au, grad students, fluff, mild angst, smut, struggling to accept the fact, flight risk reader

𖤓 Oh my, oh my god 단 너뿐이야 By @lavendersuh 3.9k, college au, classmates/strangers to lovers, party setting, awkward reader approaches Johnny, suggestive comments, drunk reader, hitting it off

𖤓 Comfort cuisine By @smileysuh 10.8k, chefs reader & Johnny, Johnny has a daughter, friends to lovers, towing the line for a while, Johnny has a deceased wife, fluff, slight angst

𖤓 Ghostie By @smileysuh 15k, college au, frat NCT, Halloween parties & costumes, slightly creepy Johnny, anonymous calls, slight stalker subthemes, smut, slight fluff

𖤓 Big Bear & Bee By @smileysuh 15.9k, hybrid au, bear Johnny, Johnny is an uncle, reader works at a honey shop, getting to know another, crushes, flirting, smut, fluff

𖤓 Get lucky dress By @irregular-idol-imagines 500+, established relationship, fluff, suggestive, showing off a new dress to your boyfriend

𖤓 Two tickets to paradise By @lattaeyongs 14.8k, best friends to lovers, past Kun x reader, reader is stood up at the altar by Kun, reader goes on their honeymoon with Johnny, fake dating, fluff, vacation

𖤓 Under his desk By @starryhyuck 7.4k, CEO Johhny, assistant reader, Jaehyun is reader's brother, underground fighting ring, smut, slight fluff, cute, Johnny is a fighter, accidental reveals, worry about what others think

𖤓 Slowly falling in love with Johnny By @viasdreams SMAU, co-workers to lovers, working at a subway shop together, mentions of co-worker Chenle, shift leader Johnny, developing feelings, fluff, cute

𖤓 Happy Thanksgiving By @nctsplug02 Drabble, Idol Johnny, non-celebrity reader, Johnny is away on tour, slightly tipsy reader, talking over the phone, fluff, smut, phone sex

𖤓 Sweet deception By @neowinestainedress 19.5k, Haechan|Yuta|Jaehyun|Jaemin|Johnny|Jeno x reader, halloween party, smut, monsterfucking, demon Haechan, fairy Jaemin, incusub Jeno, tentacle monster Yuta, ghost Jaehyun, shadow Johhny, smut, plot twist

𖤓 Rock, paper, scissors By @neowinestainedress 11.7k, Johnny|Jaehyun|Jeno|Jaemin x reader, best friends au, smut, fivesome, sexual tension, teasing, childhood friends to lovers?, summer holiday

𖤓 Can you handle it? By @neowinestainedress 12.4k, Johnny|Jaehyun|Jeno|Jaemin x reader, part 2 to rock, paper, scissors, smut, discussing kinks, sexual tension, dirty talk, best friends to possible lovers?

𖤓 Lovesick Fool By @gyeomsweetgyeom 2.4k, college au-ish, coworkers au, calling each other work husband & wife, jealousy, Jaehyun is Johnny's roommate, pining, mutual crush

𖤓 [5:58pm] By @gyeomsweetgyeom Drabble, established relationship, play on a your mom joke, except you're really at his mom's, reader has a good relationship with Johnny's parents, fluff, humour

𖤓 [4:51pm] By @gyeomsweetgyeom Drabble, established relationship, CEO Johnny, somewhat secret relationship (not purposely), bets going on about when they would get together, fluff, humour

[lisired]

dead men tell no tales

pairing: johnny x (f) reader

genre/warnings: smut, angst, gun usage, descriptions of death and violence

summary: five years ago, you were part of a unit assigned to eliminate the head rival of a crime syndicate. the plan backfired miserably. ever since you have been laying low, but then your former boss calls you with alarming news.

word count: 23k

a/n: part 1/3 of my wanted: dead or alive series. as always, feedback is appreciated!

Maybe it was only your paranoid instincts, but from the minute you woke up, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something about today was very, very off. 

Though to be fair, you always had that feeling. Nowhere was too safe. You were constantly glimpsing over your shoulder and bouncing across the globe to evade potential predators that wanted to stain the walls with your blood. Your mind was always screaming. 

Until you met Johnny, that is. There was something about him that put you at ease from the moment you met eight months ago at a hotel poolside. He was just so damn easygoing and chill. The world could be burning and Johnny would still find a way to make you laugh, as if nothing was ever wrong.  

He was an American nomad, bred of admirable spontaneity, which gave you the perfect excuse to wander without him asking any important questions. Johnny spent months courting you relentlessly and whisking you away on trips all over the world. But it wasn’t his money that drew you to him. You were more interested in his uncanny ability to subdue the monsters in your head. 

You didn’t know how or why, but the cacophony of screams died when you were with Johnny. The reckless, heaving water became gentle waves crashing against the shoreline. 

Now here you were, in some lavish hotel in Monaco with the entire Mediterranean sea right outside your balcony, and you had never been happier. Your whole relationship with Johnny consisted of taking vast trips together. He wasn’t in any rush to settle down and you didn’t have that privilege, though you’d made it abundantly clear you were committed to each other. 

Johnny didn’t want to come on too strong. Getting to know one another was a slow and steady process, given that neither of you were none too forthcoming, but Johnny was adamant on learning all there was to know about you. And to your surprise, he had been moderately successful. 

But there was one tiny secret you never let slip. 

Johnny was snuggling up to you like a baby bear, which was ironic considering the sheer size of him, and it was the cutest thing ever. “I love traveling the world with you,” he mumbled into your neck. 

“One day, it’ll be ours,” you replied, grinning from ear to ear. 

“I don’t want it. I’d give it all to you.”

You snorted and joked, “And let me be solely responsible for all of its ugly? No thank you. I’d prefer we share custody.”

Johnny laughed. Before he could come up with another response, there was a knock at the door of your luxury suite. You glanced towards him, startled. “Did you invite company?” you asked. 

“No, but I did tell my boss where he could find me if anything important came up at work,” Johnny said quietly, apparently as confused as you were. “I’ll get the door.”

You didn’t want to let him go. Most of your life had been spent in shady hotels and you never answered an unknown visitor without a gun. Your survival instincts flared up again, but it wasn’t only yourself that you feared for now. Sometimes you wondered if you were selfishly putting him at risk. 

Any friend of yours was an enemy of your enemies. You had seen them come and go, temporary like everything else in your life, but Johnny was different. You wanted him to stay. 

Almost immediately after Johnny stood to answer the door, tugging his shirt back over his head, your phone began ringing on the nightstand. You recognized the contact and pressed the phone to your ear. “Hey, Doie. What’s up?”

“Are you around anyone?”

Between the curtness of his question and the sharpness in his tone, you couldn’t decide which baffled you more. “Yes. Why?”

“Keep your face straight and your voice level,” Doyoung said sternly. “Can you get away from them?”

You glanced up at Johnny. He’d returned from the door by now with an envelope in hand, watching you with furrowed brows. “Yes.”

“Do it now.”

With a few seconds delay so as to not raise too much suspicion, you rose from the bed and mouthed to Johnny, “Business stuff.” Then you excused yourself to the balcony. 

Johnny nodded in understanding. 

When the balcony door was shut behind you, you spoke up again. “I did what you asked, but I’m at a hotel. He’s nearby.”

“I know,” was all Doyoung said. 

That did nothing but strengthen your bewilderment. “What do you mean by you know?”

Doyoung cut to the chase. He sounded perturbed. “Listen to me very carefully. Margo was killed this morning.”

You gawked. “What?”

“Single shot to the back of the neck. Close distance. No sniper.”

Despite the humid weather outside, the most aggressive shudder shot down your spine. “We can’t be certain that has anything to do with us,” you said, but it was obvious you hadn’t even convinced yourself. 

“I’m certain.”

The balcony door opened and you jolted, but tried to regain your composure when you realized it was only Johnny. “My bad,” he said, raising his hands. “I’m getting my letter opener.”

You nodded, smiling thinly at him. There was no way in hell you wanted to give away the nature of the phone call you were currently having. “How come?”

Doyoung explained, “Sol was killed two weeks ago. He opened a laced letter. Invisible powder. Nobody knew until today because they assumed he was on vacation. You know how he likes to go off-grid. He never even saw it coming.”

“Fuck,” you grumbled under your breath, although Johnny had already slipped back inside as quickly as he’d come. 

“Dispose of your cellphone as soon as possible,” Doyoung instructed, naturally falling back into his position as your supervisor. “Do you remember the location?”

Glancing around, you searched for signs of suspicious activity. It felt like you were being watched. You sighed, running a hand through your hair. “Of course.”

“Get a burner and message me from that number when you get close. This phone will still be active. I’ll meet you there. Do you copy?”

“Yes,” you said, chilled by that tone. You hadn’t heard it in five years. Not since your last mission together. 

Doyoung hung up. He was curt and to the point like that. When danger was imminent, there was no time to waste on niceties. This was not your friend Doyoung you’d come to know, but the cold leader of a formidable undercover unit. 

Then a thought came to your mind and you rushed back inside the hotel room, immediately finding Johnny and frantically asking, “Did you open the envelope?”

Johnny’s eyes flickered. “No, but I was about to. Why?”

“Don’t touch it. Please.”

Johnny obliged, but he was catching on. “You’re acting weird. What’s going on?”

Rather than answer, you paraded over to your nightstand and retrieved a gun from beneath a stack of magazines in the drawer. Maybe you were considerably less paranoid than before, but you weren’t a dumbass. You still had enemies that would pay a pretty penny to have your head on a stick. 

Johnny gawked at the weapon in your hand, presumably loaded. “Baby, what the hell?”

“So, change of plans,” you started, grabbing your suitcase and hurling it onto the bed, and began to toss your belongings inside. There weren’t many. This life had taunted you never to pack more than what you needed. “We’re going to the United States.”

“I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what’s happening,” Johnny replied sternly, coming to your side. “Why do you have a gun?”

A sigh escaped your lips and your eyes winced closed. This was the day you had always feared; the one where the time would come for your darkness to come to light. Johnny admired you for the pretty little image of yourself you’d painted in front of him. You weren’t ready for him to see you for who you really were. 

What you really were. 

Johnny pressed his forehead against yours, sensing the distress bubbling within you. He was tender and loving, even in a moment like this. Something more than you deserved. “Look at me.”

You obliged him. Without hesitation. No one thought it would be possible to tame you, but here you were, willingly submitting to a man. Hell must have frozen over. 

Johnny brushed a hand through your hair gingerly, not wanting to startle you away, like you were some new animal adjusting to a stranger. “I don’t know what you might’ve done and what you might’ve seen, but none of that matters to me. I care about you. That will never change,” he told you in a whisper. 

God, you wanted to believe him. It would have made things easier, being able to confide in him about all of the haunting horrors. You shook your head, overpowering your own tears. “Johnny, you don’t understand. I’ve done unforgivable things.”

Johnny’s voice was saccharine. “Then make me understand. Help me help you.”

“I wish it was that easy,” you mumbled, pulling away. You had to finish packing and relocate right now. 

Your stubbornness was nothing new to Johnny, but that didn’t make it any less inconvenient. That said, he could sense the urgency of whatever predicament you had somehow landed yourself in, and started grabbing his things. He sighed, relenting. “How soon do we need to be in the United States?”

“As soon as possible.”

“I know a guy that knows a guy who has a jet,” Johnny told you, quickly folding something to toss into his suitcase. “He can get us there in half a day, maybe less.”

You paused in your tracks, considering your options. There was this unspoken arrangement about your relationship with Johnny. Your inexplicable connections that conveniently helped you out of each other’s dilemmas. But you never pressed him about it, because you couldn’t afford him asking you questions either. 

Out of curiosity’s sake, you asked, “What’s his name?”

“Jaehyun.”

That name rang no bells, but you would’ve been more alarmed if you even vaguely recognized it. “Okay. Call him, but be quick about it.” The people hunting me waste no time. 

Johnny did as told, swiftly taking his phone out of his pocket and heading into the bathroom to make a call. 

With the last of your things zipped away in your suitcase, you had no choice but to sit there waiting for something to happen, which was not your favorite hobby ever. There were stories, in the underworld, of snipers that could stay awake for days waiting on the perfect opportunity to eliminate their subs. 

Johnny crossed your mind again and you shuddered, worries heightening. You glanced over at the letter. It had been addressed to him, not you, however, that only made you assume your hunters had something worse in store for you. Something darker. 

Though on the other hand, it made you hyper aware of the darkness you had sucked Johnny into solely by associating with him. Your boyfriend was now a liability, exactly as you’d feared, but you refused to leave him to fend for himself. They had made plain that they knew what he was worth to you and you’d be damned if you let him die for the sake of your survival. 

The assassins tracking down your unit like prey weren’t bunglers and there was no doubt that they’d be coming after you next. You had spent months studying the intricacies of the assignment and attempting to comprehend their behavior. Every breakthrough brought you closer to confirming the identity of the leader until it was all suddenly over. 

Someone snitched. You still didn’t know who for certain, but you doubted they were a member of the original seven proxies assigned to the unit. Four of them were dead. There were only three of you left, as far as you knew. 

Thus you did everything in your power to lay low and make yourself even more elusive. You were ever on the move, denying yourself the freedom that came with becoming too comfortable. Then, you met Johnny this year in February, on a mission in Long Beach. He had been a normal guy at some fancy hotel, never meant to be more than one night of drunken fun. So you were pleasantly surprised when one night became eight months. 

And even more so when you subsequently forfeited your career. You hadn’t fully recovered from that life and you doubted you ever would, but Johnny made it easier to live with your unjustifiable mistakes. He saw something in you that no one else did. Not even yourself. 

If only you knew what. 

Johnny emerged from the bathroom, the sound of the door opening drawing your attention to him. “Good news,” he started, heading for the bed. “He’s available. It should be ready for us when we get there.”

“Then let’s not waste any time,” you said, tucking away your gun. 

If Johnny had any more questions, and you knew full well he did, he still didn’t ask. 

Like Johnny had said, the private jet was waiting for the two of you when you arrived and you hurriedly climbed aboard. They knew where you were. Why they hadn’t taken you out when they had the chance was a mystery, but you decided to count your blessings. You were (for now) still alive and that was all that mattered. 

You tried to get some sleep, given that you would be up and flying for a good minute, but to no avail. You usually found plane rides oddly peaceful, but there were a million thoughts in your mind vying for your attention all at once. It was all you could do not to think about your hidden career. 

It had its perks, the coin stained in other people’s blood, and the companionship of a few of the friends you’d met along the way, but most people in the underworld were not exactly affable and there was always a fear in the back of your mind that one day it would be you who died for the gain of another. 

Johnny laced his fingers through yours and you glanced over at him. “Talk to me,” he murmured, sweet as ever.  

You shook your head. You had met many perceptive people in your lifetime, but Johnny took the cake. “I can’t.”

“Of course you can,” Johnny said, reaching for your other hand and also taking it in his. “You can talk to me about anything.”

You glimpsed down at your intertwined hands, then back up at his deep brown eyes. They were too damn discerning. “There’s something about me you don’t know.”

Johnny said nothing, but those words made him raise a brow. He was silently gesturing for you to continue, stroking the back of your hand with his thumb. 

God dammit, was he trying to disarm you? Because it was working. You hated how easy it was for him to render you vulnerable. You - the most formidable of proxies this generation had ever known. 

The thought made you laugh, which Johnny obviously wasn’t expecting. You shook your head and explained, “I’m shocked you haven’t left me. Most people would have wanted no parts the second they saw the strap.”

“Can I hold it?”

You burst into laughter again. Like hell. “You want me to give you a loaded weapon? I don’t know what you know. That’s like giving a bomb to a baby.”

Johnny chuckled, but he sobered almost immediately after, loosely draping an arm over your shoulder. “Hey, for the record, it’s gonna take a lot more than a gun to make me wanna leave you. I’m crazy about you,” he confessed, whispering. “And the way I see it, you’re a little crazy all on your own.”

You grinned, appreciating the way he could say something serious and make you giggle in the same minute. “Maybe I am.” 

“By the way,” Johnny began gingerly, as if one wrong move would startle you away. Which wasn’t too far off. “Why didn’t you want me to touch that letter earlier?”

The amusement quickly fell from your lips and the change was not lost on Johnny. The space around you was virtually silent till you willed yourself to murmur, “I think it was laced.”

Johnny blinked in shock. “Laced? Like that Amerithrax shit?”

You shrugged. “Something like that. I don’t think it’s anthrax, but whatever it is, it’s just as deadly. Killed someone I know just from opening it. I got the call about his death this morning.”

“Damn, baby,” Johnny said with a wince, taken aback. “What did he do to deserve that?”

“It’s a long story,” you mumbled under your breath.

It was obvious you didn’t intend on elaborating any further than you already had and Johnny didn’t press, especially became a more jarring thought came. “But the letter was addressed to me,” he pointed out, clearly confused. “Not to you.”

“I know. They don’t want to kill me off immediately, for whatever reason.” 

“That means you’re special, I guess.” 

A chill shot down your spine. You already knew, but him saying it aloud made it true. For some inexplicable reason, they wanted to play the long game with you by watching you suffer. 

“I’m sleepy,” you said. A lie, but a convenient one. You wanted to be alone in your thoughts a little longer. “I think I’ll rest my eyes.”

Johnny chuckled. “For only a few seconds, I’m guessing?”

Your voice was dripping with sarcasm. “How did you know?”

“Lucky guess,” Johnny whispered, pressing a quick, sweet kiss to the temple of your forehead. “Goodnight, beautiful.”

“Night, Johnny,” you murmured.

After a few moments of thinking of the unthinkable future, you eventually tormented yourself to sleep, waking up some hours later with your head on Johnny’s shoulder. You wholeheartedly blamed him. He was holding your hand delicately, caressing the back of it the entire time. Almost like he knew you needed it. 

You weren’t as relieved as you thought you would be when you touched down in the United States. Ironically, you felt less exposed to danger thousands of feet above the ocean than you did on American soil. Johnny was turning you soft. You’d rather be somewhere in his arms. 

The safe house you would be holing up in until further notice was given to you by one of your trusted American contacts. It wasn’t particularly easy to find, which was a nuisance for you today, but something you would undoubtedly be grateful for later on. The place was a far cry from luxurious, but it was low-key, and that was enough to keep you happy. 

“Ah. Feels just like home,” Johnny said with a bucket load of sarcasm.

Dragging your luggage inside, your shoulders shook as you laughed. “I’ve gotta make a call.” Then, you nudged his side gently and quipped, “Be a good boy and don’t talk to any strangers while I’m gone.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Johnny chirped obediently. 

You entered the kitchen. It was small, cramped. Not that you would be doing much eating when you were stressed like this. You grabbed the burner phone you’d picked up on the way and dialed a number from memory, hoping you wouldn’t be too late. 

The phone rang for a while. You almost thought that nobody would answer, for a multitude of reasons, until you finally heard a chary, “Who’s this?”

“Mark.” You sighed in relief. “Thank god. It’s me. Are you holding up okay?”

“So you got that call too, huh?” Mark asked, though it was obvious. You had no other reason to be calling. You didn’t mean to be distant, but it was not often you reached out to your former co-workers. 

But it was still good to hear his voice. With two of your other co-workers gone one week after the other, it was clear they were hunting each of you down one by one. “I got it last night,” you replied, exhaling through your nose. “This morning, technically. Monaco is seven hours ahead of Illinois.”

You could hear movement in the background, like he was actively packing his things with his ear pressed to his shoulder. “Yeah, I’m leaving Canada. I should get over there in a couple of hours. I was actually just about to toss this phone. You have great timing.”

That surprised you. Mark was the opposite of you, feeling safer in one place that felt like home rather than never getting too comfortable anywhere. “You’re not staying in Toronto? You haven’t left in years.”

“They killed my sister,” Mark hissed. You could hear the hurt in his voice, the bite in his tone. He was who you were worried about most. “I know that I’m probably being led into a kill box, but I can’t just stay here. I’ll put a bullet in her killer’s head myself by the time this shit blows over.”

“Mark,” you started, but you knew there was no use. 

Mark said your name sternly. “I already made up my mind. I’m on my way. I should be seeing you and Doyoung later.”

You blew out a breath. “Okay. Get here safe. Please.”

“I will,” he said reassuringly. “Be as careful as you can, okay? I’ll see you soon.”

“Okay. Bye.”

“Wait.”

You were just about to hang up when he spoke those words in the nick of time. “Yes?”

Mark’s tone was accustory, “Your boytoy’s with you. Isn’t he?”

You stifled a sigh. There it was, the cons of being buddies with proxies as good at their jobs as you were. “He’s at risk. They sent him the envelope. Not me. They will hurt him to get to me.”

“Maybe,” Mark said, obviously none too convinced by that possibility. “Or maybe it’s a setup. You could be his sub.”

Glancing around the area to make sure Johnny was out of earshot, you whispered, “Mark, I’ve given my life to this field and the sick people infesting it. He’s as normal as they get.”

“Is he?”

“Mark,” you snapped. 

Mark let it die. “Fine. But you better be in one piece next time I see you, or it’s him I’m going after.”

Well, there was no use in arguing with him when he used that tone. It firmly indicated that he meant business. “Don’t worry,” you said softly, glimpsing around again. “Bye, Mark.”

When the call was over, you slipped the burner into your pocket and braced yourself for your next task. You had to make sure this place was secure enough to hold you for the upcoming nights. 

Nine years in the industry had taught you that there was no such thing as being too safe and it was always in your best interest to be virtually untraceable. You double checked every window, making sure they were all locked. You also clocked a number of potential exits and noted all of your options. 

It was borderline impossible to rest knowing that your life was at stake, and you damn sure wouldn’t make yourself an easy kill. If somebody really wanted you dead, they had their work cut out for them. You had spent too much time building up your power to let it be snatched out of your hands without a fight. 

With the house taken care of, you could breathe a little easier in relief. You took out the burner and typed in the number you had memorized. In the city. I’m ready whenever you are. 

Delivered. No matter how much you hated it, you felt like a sitting duck amongst sharp-toothed sharks. 

“Had enough?” Johnny asked, poking his head around the corner. He’d seen you checking out the windows. 

You’d heard his footsteps, knowing he was coming. It might have come off as excessively paranoid, or obsessively so, but you were a listener, and recognizing the distinct sounds of someone’s steps had saved your life. More than once. “Yeah, I think so. Just had to make sure the safe house is really safe.”

Johnny chortled, fully entering the living room now, and walked over to sit beside you. “We’re in the middle of only God knows where. I think we’ll be pretty okay, baby.”

“I sure hope so,” you muttered. 

Johnny cocked his head. “You said there’s something about you that I don’t know, but you never told me what.”

And that was how it would stay. At least for now. The phone call with Mark reminded you of what was at stake and you had to remember that everyone was a suspect. “I didn’t?”

“You don’t have to tell me if you really don’t want to,” Johnny assured you gently, resting a hand on your back. “But I want you to remember that this is bigger than you. Assuming whoever is after you knows about us, my life is at stake too. Not only yours.”

Something bitter scorched its way down your throat. He wasn’t exactly wrong. It was a conclusion you had already come to, but that didn’t mean you weren’t opposed. The fact that someone had attempted to take him out angered you to no end. “I know that. And I’ll come clean. But not right now.”

Those words brooked no argument, and knowing your tendency to keep things close to your chest, Johnny asked instead, “When do we move out?”

You stretched your arms above your head, hoping to shake the tense feeling within you in spite of knowing it had nothing to do with your muscles. “The minute I get the call. I let my former supervisor know that we landed. He’s not exactly the sociable type, but he’ll let me know when we’re clear.”

“You two must get along great then,” Johnny quipped. 

You rolled your eyes, recognizing his attempts at humor, but softened. “Listen, Johnny. I’m sorry I got you dragged into this mess. I never meant for you to see this part of me, but my past is coming back to bite me in the ass.”

Johnny’s brows knitted together. “Are you an assassin or something?”

“Yes, and that’s all you need to know right now,” you said, crossing your legs on the chair.

Silence prevailed for a brief moment and you were worried you had reasonably startled Johnny, but you were surprised when he said, “Not gonna lie, that’s pretty daunting news, but I don’t give a fuck what you are, baby.”

Those were the last words you expected to come out of his mouth and you couldn’t decide if they were alarmed or comforting. “Are you sure?”

“Whatever you’ve done, I’m sure you had your reasons,” Johnny said, pulling you into his brawny arms. Not afraid of you. “I already told you, there’s nothing in this world that could change how I feel about you. I love you.”

Every muscle in your body went rigid. Although you had been dating for almost a whole year, you and Johnny had never muttered those three words until now. And it had been even longer since you’d heard them. 

Your face was stiff and you didn’t make a move, but somehow Johnny could sense the panic within you. He had always been good at seeing plain through the walls you put up to protect yourself. “You don’t have to say it back, but I wanted you to know.”

That confused you to no end. “You don’t at least want to know if I love you back?”

Johnny sounded amused, which was the last reaction you were expecting. “I already know. It’s in everything you do. If you didn’t love me, you would have wordlessly left me in Monaco to die,” he said, gathering some of your hair in his hands and brushing it out of the way. “But I want you to say it when you’re ready and not a second before.”

You nodded, trying to play off the fact that your heart was beating quicker. How did he always just know? 

Johnny moved his hand to your cheek, his touch featherlight, and continued, “I know something nightmarish is happening and you probably feel like the whole world is out to get you. Do whatever you think is right. Trust your gut and nothing else. Not your supervisor, not your friends. Not even me.”

You stared into Johnny’s eyes when he pulled back. They were deep and brown and hypnotic, pulling you clean under his spell in one fatal swoop. Like you were holding a gun and he was whispering in your ear for you to pull the trigger. 

It was dangerous to love somebody to that extent and you knew it, but you were past the point of no return. Johnny was your one weakness, the only thing that could blind you. Your enemies were smart in targeting him first, but foolish to think you would let them take him away from you so easily. 

With his hand still on your cheek, Johnny flirted, “May I ask you to lower your guard for a few moments while I kiss you, or am I asking for too much?”

“It’s okay,” you replied, rolling your eyes in mock annoyance. “You can kiss me.”

Johnny beamed in excitement. When his lips crashed against yours, you remembered why you were even here with him in the first place. Your body relaxed in his arms, knowing it was safe there, shielded from all the dangers of your twisted world. Johnny knew exactly how to disarm you, lowering all your many defenses. 

His mouth fell downwards onto your throat and you knew what he was doing, but you couldn’t be bothered to stop him. You needed the relief and the place was secure enough. What was a little bonding time between two lovers? 

“Mind if I take this to the bedroom?” Johnny asked, slipping a hand up your blouse. 

You nodded, biting your lip. 

Johnny effortlessly hoisted you into his burly arms and carried you into the bedroom, tossing you onto the bed. You giggled as he crawled over you, threading your fingers through his dark hair to pull his mouth back onto yours. There was no delaying the soft sighs you made as Johnny felt up your body. 

The two of you stayed there like that together for the longest time, your hands falling onto his broad shoulders and his grabbing a handful of your boobs. More often than not, sex was a game of patience. You were both stubborn in your own way, scheming to utterly ravage each other. 

For some reason, Johnny was an expert at both dominating and manipulating your body, and for some even weirder reason, you let him. He always seemed to intuitively know what you needed and how you needed it. No one understood you like that. Johnny was the first human being you had let get close enough to wield that kind of power over you, and it was equally as sexy as it was unnerving. 

You shuddered at the feeling of his big hands as they advanced down your thighs. They were so cold sometimes. Back when you first got together and holding hands gave you the most outrageous butterflies, you used to tease that he was like a snake or something. 

In the heat of your kisses, shirts were thrown and pants were tossed. You gawked at the sight of Johnny’s toned abs even though you had already seen them a thousand times before. He preferred to travel to countries with plenty of sunshine and hot sand. Naturally, you’d seen him shirtless in a year more than you’d seen your mother. 

“Fuck me,” you moaned, simmering with yearning. Your hands wandered down his burly chest.

When they finally reached the navy blue shorts you couldn’t for the life of you figure out why he was still wearing, you grabbed a fistful of Johnny’s half-hard cock, and he tensed with the same thought. Johnny may have prided himself on his extreme willpower and self-control, but you knew a thing or three about ruining men, and you were damn good at it. 

It was obvious you were up to no good. You met Johnny’s stare as you pumped his cock stiff in your hands, watching him falter. He was melting right there between your fingers. If only he was fully naked. You would have been trailing kisses down the base of his cock. 

You smirked when you heard him groan your name under his breath. That long thread of patience was unraveling. There was this battle between the two of you, taking turns sending each other into oblivion. The thing about you and Johnny was that sex started long before any clothes came off. 

Johnny swatted your hand away. Gently, of course. “Okay,” he said in that firm tone that meant he’d had enough. 

You couldn’t resist a satisfied grin. There was nothing like making a masculine man like himself lose control. 

Johnny took the lead, sticking a hand between your legs, which you voluntarily widened for him without having to be told. He liked how submissive you became when in bed with him and chuckled faintly to himself, teasing his hand over the damp spot in your panties, and tempted to toy with you until you soaked through both sides. 

It wasn’t that Johnny was very patient. You had the upper hand in that regard. But what he lacked in patience he made up for in obstinacy, which you both had an ample amount of, and made things all the more exhilarating.

You were sighing softly underneath him, your body gently arching into his touch as you felt yourself burn from the sheer proximity of his body to yours alone, and Johnny appreciated every second. There was a certain pleasure he got out of making you crack. You were tough and composed, something you prided yourself on, but something about breaking you felt like getting a small taste of your inner chaos. 

A glimpse behind the forbidden door. 

“Johnny,” you called out, trying not to sound whiny. 

It didn’t help. Johnny could still read your body language flawlessly. He stifled a smirk, playing dumb. “Hm?”

You scowled at him. Not out of any genuine anger, of course. Though maybe a hint of frustration. You knew he was baiting you to the point of begging, wanting to satiate his ever hungry ego. 

“Don’t you think it would be nice of you to do something?” you asked. 

“I am doing something,” Johnny replied as if he was totally clueless to what you wanted. “I’m touching you, aren’t I?”

“Yes, you are. And it’s very generous of you to do that,” you said with a hint of sarcasm. “But maybe you could consider going the extra mile.”

“The extra mile? Oh, you mean, like, this?”

Johnny dipped a hand underneath the waistband of your underwear and your lips parted in a shaky gasp as you braced his shoulders again, instantly squirming. Your legs reflexively closed on him, but Johnny didn’t even blink, merely spreading them wide again with his free hand as he listened for the sweet sound of your pleasure. 

“Am I right on the money?” he asked knowingly, finally letting that sly grin come out to play. 

He was right on something. It may not have been money, but you could feel his thumb on your clit and it was making you shudder. You nodded, your whole body feeling electric. Your toes curled and your hands dropped, balling into fists on the sheets.

You could feel how hard he was as he leaned over you, his body damn near flush against yours, tauntingly close. The very hard bulge in his shorts was all you could feel in your thigh. Johnny ignored it. Which was getting increasingly harder the more he watched you whimper and tense with need, aching to be filled, but he wanted to play a little more. 

Johnny decided to go another mile and slid a pair of long, thick digits inside your heat with no resistance from your body. You sucked him in, wet and ready, and Johnny watched the tension on your face elevate. 

Your entire body was begging you to stop being stubborn and give in to Johnny’s demands if it meant he would do something to cease the endless throbbing in your core, but as good as his fingers felt in you and even better you knew his dick would feel, you didn’t want to give him that satisfaction. Though it certainly wasn’t more than what he deserved. 

“You asshole,” you said, torn between your desires. 

Johnny flinched, but smiled at your sudden outburst. “What I do now?”

You pretended to be angry, grumbling, “Making me want you. Fuck. You’re a piece of shit. I hate you.”

Johnny chuckled. He knew you didn’t mean a single word. You just didn’t want to admit that you needed him, even though everything in how your body was responding to his touches said more than enough. “You won’t be saying that when I fuck you,” he replied confidently. 

“And when exactly will that be?”

“When I feel like it.”

You rolled your eyes. He could be so damn annoying. There was only room for one stubborn bitch in this relationship. You pointed out, “You’re hard.”

“So?”

You narrowed your eyes. “So, don’t you feel like it right now?”

“Nope,” Johnny replied with feigned indifference, pushing his fingers in and out of you and watching how you accepted them desperately. The whole thing made him wish it was his cock in you instead. 

You didn’t buy that at all. Johnny wasn’t invincible, no matter how hard he tried. And his horniness was through the roof. “Johnny, fuck me.”

Johnny thought you bossing him around, or at least attempting to, was funny. “Say please.”

“Johnny, fuck me. Please,” you grumbled. 

“Now was that so hard?” he asked, looking relatively pleased. 

You didn’t get the chance to answer, because before you knew it, Johnny withdrew his digits from your sopping hole and stepped out of his shorts. He slipped your panties to the side and lined himself up with your entrance, his eyes on your cunt the entire time as he watched his cock steadily disappear inside. 

Johnny’s hands clamped tightly onto your thighs as he sank deeper, tipping his head back with a moan at the hot, tight sensation of your pussy gushing around his cock. He tried to will himself to go slow, not wanting to overwhelm you with too much, but the way you were throbbing was testing his patience. And his restraint. 

You were out of breath and he had hardly even done anything so far. The size of him never failed to knock the wind of you. It didn’t matter how many times you fucked, or how much he prepared you, Johnny still managed to taunt your limits. 

“Jesus. Fuck,” you exhaled, craving his warmth and wanting to escape him in equal measure. Your hands grappled for something, anything, to ground yourself. When Johnny took you, he took you somewhere far, far away from earth. 

Johnny would have been worried, if not for the fact that you had wound your legs snugly around his waist, forcing him deeper. He smirked. “Can I move, baby?”

You nodded. “Yeah. Move.”

Johnny groaned as he started to push in and out of you, dragging his thick cock through your walls. He never got used to this either. Maybe it was only in his mind, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that you got tighter the more he fucked you. Wetter the more he stretched you out. 

No one had ever made you feel this way before. You’d had meaningless sex a dozen times and then some, but this was something much different. There was so much passion seeping from your bodies and it made the ecstasy skyrocket tenfold. So much love, dare you say. 

But the control Johnny had over your body was your favorite part by far. The orgasms brought by his will were the most powerful you’d ever had. They felt like you were releasing a dark part of you that had quietly attached itself to your soul. Johnny was good at showing you that if you let him take the lead, if you let go, he could bring you to elysian heights. 

You thought for certain you were bound for hell, but damn, Johnny made you see heaven. And now that you knew what heaven felt like, you didn’t want to consider any other option. 

Johnny could see it on your face. He always could. In the bedroom, at least. Out there, you could be cold and inscrutable, but when he was bringing you to your peak, there was no part of you that he didn’t see. “Still hate me?” he asked teasingly. 

“No,” you stammered out. You wanted to say you loved him, the words were right there on the tip of your tongue, but you couldn’t. 

“Shh, it’s okay, baby. Don’t say anything,” Johnny whispered, pressing sweet kisses along your throat and collarbone. “Just take me.”

You relaxed in his arms, succumbing to the building pressure in your core as Johnny took and took from your body, speeding up his steady rhythm. You loved when he did that. Though you knew Johnny valued your pleasure deeply, there was something about when he availed you, of how he bled you dry.

Johnny knew you would let him if he asked. You would let him do anything he wanted if it meant he’d be satisfied in the end. It was his reward for loving you without conditions. You were his beautiful, sick little lion that he’d tamed.

“You’re perfect for me. You know that?” Johnny asked a little breathlessly. “All for me.”

“Oh my god,” you whimpered, grabbing Johnny’s hair and pulling him down to you. His chest was flush against yours and you could feel the sweat of his body mingling with your own and the vicious thud of his heart as he moved. 

You found his lips and kissed him hungrily, too hooked on passion to care about kissing him perfectly. The desperation in your touches only made Johnny want you more. He matched your energy and met his lips to yours with the same amount of fervor, if not crazier. You heard him groan and the sound did everything to turn you on. 

There was no denying his fire for you and you appreciated every single bit. His skin burned, hot and sticky with a glistening sheen of dampness. Johnny was just as insane for and about you as you were over him, his body said so. Though it helped that he wasn’t shy with his words. 

Johnny brought one hand between your legs and the other to your throat that was stained in marks leftover from his kisses. You were already weak and he knew exactly how to make you even weaker. You gasped when you realized what he was doing, looking into his eyes and finding nothing but a darkness that said he wanted to ravage you. It made you tighten. 

You felt something in your stomach tighten when you saw Johnny’s face change, tensing with the wound of pleasure. He mumbled curses under his breath in a voice that made you shudder. You knew then that you weren’t far. He was going to finish you. 

“Johnny, I’m close,” you told him through heavy pants. 

Johnny tightened his grip on you, moving his hand faster over your clit. He chuckled when you moaned. “Yeah, you wanna come? Tell me how bad you need it.”

“God, Johnny. Please,” you begged, knowing he wanted to gauge how much he turned you on, how good he pressed your buttons. “I need to come. I need you. I can’t hold it. You feel too good. Oh my fuck.”

“Then go ahead. Let go for me, baby,” Johnny commanded darkly, watching you expectantly. He knew you were about to fall apart any moment now. 

And you did. Your orgasm took hold of you and slammed you down onto the surface, and you felt the impact in every bone of your body. But rather than a dull ache, it was a heady euphoria. Johnny was there to sweep you into his arms, whispering sweet nothings as he coaxed you through every second like a gentleman.

He tried to act like the way you clamped around him and cursed out his name when you trembled with climax wasn’t getting to him, but Johnny was starting to melt into your heat and he couldn’t help how much getting you off got him off. It was too natural. He looked down at you proudly, taking in the sight of you laying there, trying to collect yourself. 

You tried to take it as he continued to pound you out, trying to make himself come now than he had taken care of you, but it was making your head spin. “Johnny,” you whined. 

Johnny raised a brow, playing innocent. “What? I didn’t say I was done with you. Now did I?” 

You swallowed sharply. This wasn’t the first time he had fucked you through your orgasm and then some, but he was damn good at making it feel like it was. 

“You tapping out on me?” Johnny taunted, knowing it would do the trick. You always had something to prove. 

You shook your head. It was too much for you, but that was exactly the point. You let Johnny decide how much you could handle. He was the one in charge, like it or not. “No. Never.”

“Good,” Johnny chirped, satisfied. “You know what to say if you change your mind.”

You had a safe word, but you remembered using it only once. The word lingered in your mind but didn’t dare escape your lips. You didn’t want him to stop. You wanted him to take you until there was nothing left. And then take some more. 

Your silence was loud as ever and Johnny grinned, knowing he had you exactly where he wanted you. He continued to have his way with you, his hands gentle as they wandered your entire body, but his hips slapping against yours with a vengeance as he tried to drive himself over the edge. 

It wouldn’t be long. Johnny wanted to keep fucking you forever, die tangled together limb to limb, but with every hit through your slick walls he felt his grip on his restraint slack. You were breaking him down, piece by piece.

You couldn’t think straight. You could barely even see, your vision hazy with the faint sting of tears in your eyes. Johnny had once told you that there was a thin line between pain and pleasure and now he was taking you there. He delicately kissed your face and chest all over as he overstimulated you, making you teeter. 

“Johnny, come,” you whispered, coaxing him to finish while still playing meek. “I want you to fuck me full. Please. Oh my god.”

Johnny grunted at the thought of fucking you full of his cum and the memory flickering into his brain. He tightened his hold on your body, hands falling to your perfect hips, and moved even faster. You gasped when he sank his teeth into your neck, fiending for you. All of you. 

You took it like you were made to take him. Your soft moans and sweet cries were unraveling Johnny quicker than he would have liked, making his dick twitch inside you, and it was only a matter of seconds until he lost the fight. 

It was insane how much power you wielded over each other. You knew all the right places to touch, all the right words, all the right things to say. There were no limits. Only getting lost in the endless cosmos of each other. 

Johnny closed his eyes as he at last came with a delicious, guttural groan that made you burn with the urge to suck the soul out of him. He kept fucking you until he felt like stopping, his warmth flooding into your wet pussy, and the sensation made you moan. 

When he was finally sated, he collapsed against your chest, smothering you with the weight of him that you loved. You could feel his tired breath on your neck and the heat of his body against yours, and it was oddly comforting. 

Johnny lifted his head from the crook of your neck to peer into your eyes, asking, “You okay?”

You nodded. “I’m good. Thank you for that.”

Johnny chuckled. He could feel the tension leaving your body and he was proud, and more than glad, to be of service. “Pleasure is my business and I aim to satisfy.”

You giggled at his words, wounding your arms around his broad shoulders while you held him close. You knew you would have to get up one way or another, but not right now. This was your time to simply be there for each other. 

And that was what you did, but then you had a mischievous thought and it was all you could do not to snicker as you untangled yourself from Johnny’s arms. He was reluctant to let you go, but relented, watching you with curious eyes. 

You brought your hand down to his now soft cock, toying with him as you tried to get him up again. There was an untamed look in your eyes that didn’t go unnoticed by Johnny.

He tensed immediately when he felt your hands on him. His voice was suspicious. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing, sweetheart,” you replied in a tone that was way too innocent to be believable. 

Johnny’s eyes narrowed. “I think you’re doing something.”

You giggled, gently shoving at him. It didn’t work, but Johnny took it as a sign that you wanted him to shift, and so he sat up on the bed. You followed, returning your hand between his legs as you stroked him back rigid. 

“Are you really trying to make me come again?”

You shrugged. That was only half your goal. You wanted to make him lose his mind, and the best way to do that was to give him a nut he would always remember. “Why not? Don’t tell me that’s all you got for me, handsome?”

“I always got more for you,” Johnny flirted without hesitation. 

You smirked, moving from the bed and sinking onto your knees. “That’s what I like to hear.”

Johnny had only just managed to recover his breathing when he felt his breath start to hitch again as you pumped him stiff in your hands, which only took a few moments. You were his vice. Nothing got him hard like you, the thought of you, and the promise of fucking you. 

When he was ready, you took him into your mouth slowly but steadily, inch by inch. You kept your fist around the base of his cock, figuring it would be best to have multiple sensations. Johnny groaned. It was one thing to fist his own cock, but when you were the one doing it, it was like his entire body was in flames. 

“Fuck,” he grunted, tangling his fingers through your hair none too gently. He knew you liked it a little rough, knew you didn’t feel alive without pain. 

Your supple hands moved just fast enough to make Johnny want more and your mouth took just enough of him that you weren’t gagging. He was a really big boy. Though you knew you could fit more, you wanted to draw things out for as long as you could, slowly tasting his shaft with your tongue. 

Johnny gave your cheek a little impatient slap when he started to get annoyed with your teasing. This was the only man you would let touch you like that and get away with it. Mainly because it was hot coming from him and you liked pushing his buttons. 

Ignoring the faint burn of his palm on your cheek, you obliged his silent command, knowing better than to test him. He wouldn’t hesitate to take away all the power you thought you had right now and have you at his mercy. You took more of him into your mouth, head bobbing around his cock. 

“Shit, baby. Like that. Suck me just like that,” Johnny moaned. You loved the breathlessness in his voice, the way he sounded borderline desperate. And you loved knowing that it was only for you even more. 

Johnny watched you suck him off like it was the driving force behind your life, seemingly having your fill of teasing him. He gathered another fistful of your hair, using it to keep you in check. You looked so pretty on your knees for him, kneading his cock with your perfect tongue. 

It was everything you knew it would be, knew he would be unable to resist. You wanted to see him unravel one good time before the night was over, no matter the cost. The bruises forming on your knees and the dull soreness developing in your throat be damned. 

You loved pleasing Johnny. Not only because you got pleasure from having the power to make a dominant man like him lose his shit, though that was a significant part of it. There was a giving side of you that just wanted to see him content as his reward for making you feel safe and comfortable. 

The violent need for control you had stemmed from a lifelong struggle with power. You had been completely helpless before and now you wanted to conquer the unconquerable. There was nothing that would stand between you and what you wanted. After being denied so many times, you became the villain and began to take. 

But Johnny was just as stubborn as you, if not more. He couldn’t be bent into shape and he would never bend to anyone’s will. Though it took you a minute to accept, you liked that about him. He didn’t view you as something to be feared. And he seized control over you without making you feel like something to own. 

There was no way in hell you could repay him for that, but you knew he would settle for a mind-numbing blowjob.

Johnny grumbled curses under his breath as he started to rock into your throat without warning, setting a rhythm of his own. He was close to the edge and he needed to come. You weren’t prepared. You gagged a little bit, eyes burning. But you didn’t complain. 

“I’m gonna come,” Johnny warned, though it was relatively obvious. “Take it all for me, baby. I know you can.”

You allowed Johnny to fuck your throat as he so pleased, desperately trying to handle his aggressive pace and willing yourself not to gag by sheer force. The throbbing between your thighs had returned and you chastised yourself for getting horny over being used. 

Johnny tipped his head back with a moan he couldn’t stifle before looking back down at you again, something sharp and hungry in his stare. You looked up and met his gaze, your eyes misty with unshed tears, and the sight made him bust on the spot. 

His thighs trembled as he released, painting the back of your throat with a load of hot cum you attempted to swallow. He hissed in something like pain but not quite there, his grip tightening on your hair, inadvertently pulling your face flush against his balls. 

It was a sight you would never forget. The way his handsome face tensed perfectly in a dangerous kind of ecstasy, a deep groan of your name escaping his lips. The way he swallowed as he accepted his defeat. It was absolutely beautiful. 

Johnny panted, pulling you off him and wiping a stray tear from your face with his thumb. “You win. This time. Next time I won’t go easy on you.”

Your voice was a little hoarse from the rough fucking it had received as you snickered and replied, “If that was you going easy on me, I’d hate to see you going hard.” 

Johnny smirked. “Please. You love when I go hard.”

You rolled your eyes playfully. 

Johnny ushered you to the bathroom for a shower. Though it was much smaller than you knew he was used to, he didn’t complain. He was mostly focused on taking care of you and worshiping your body after ravaging it. Which was only fair. 

You fell asleep in record time, tangled in his embrace. Nights with Johnny ensured the easiest sleep you had ever gotten. There was something about the arms of a big, strong man like him that easily lured you someplace far away. They were the safest place in the world. 

Morning came and Johnny rose before you did, gingerly slipping from behind you. Watching your face as he climbed out of the bed, he was careful to make sure you didn’t stir. The last thing he wanted was to wake you up when you were blissfully oblivious. He grabbed his cell phone from the nightstand and started out. 

Johnny glanced at you one more time before leaving. You looked so peaceful, curled up into the blankets. He’d noticed that you had this uncanny ability to fall asleep anywhere, at any given time. He shook his head and made for the door. Most nights he lay awake. 

Something didn’t feel right. You noticed the empty spot in the small bed and the lack of arms around your body immediately upon rousing. That was weird. Where had Johnny gone? Did he leave in pursuit of coffee? Or did someone get to him while you were sleeping?

You told yourself you were being ridiculous and tossed the blankets off your body, sliding your feet into a pair of slippers. The possibilities were endless, but it was reasonable to assume Johnny was still in the house somewhere. He wouldn’t have gone without a fight. And there was no doubt you would have heard a struggle. 

The sound of his voice coming from the living room made you grind to a halt in the tiny, dark hallway. He sounded like he was speaking on the phone. You tried to make out who he was talking to, but his responses gave nothing away. They were too straightforward. 

Much like how you were trained to answer questions on the phone when the wrong people were privy to your conversations. 

You lingered in the hall, wondering whether you should have approached or not. Something told you not to give yourself away just yet, but something else told you to stop treating Johnny like a sub by spying on him. Fuck’s sake, he was your partner. 

Before you could decide, Johnny hung up the phone and started for the kitchen. You acted like you were casually walking down the hallway and greeted him sweetly. 

“Good morning, sunshine,” Johnny replied, slipping his fingers through yours as he led you into the kitchen with him. “I made coffee.”

“Thanks.”

Johnny added playfully, “For myself. But you’re more than welcome to have some.”

You rolled your eyes. He was only kidding, but you always loved how much energy this guy could have in the morning. You were an early riser because it was built into you. Johnny was just a productive kind of man. 

The kitchen was uncomfortably crowded even with only the two of you inside, so you shifted over to the slightly larger living room while you drank coffee together. Johnny was sitting beside you on the couch with his spare hand instinctively resting on your thigh, tracing circles on your exposed skin. 

Your eyes flickered to his naked back for all of two seconds before you willed yourself to focus on the important bits. “I heard you on the phone earlier,” you mentioned, getting a conversation rolling. 

Johnny seemed totally relaxed, as if he had nothing to hide. “Did you now?” 

“Yeah, I did,” you replied, glancing back down at his hand on your thigh before meeting his eyes. “Who were you talking to?”

Johnny realized by now that you were doubting him in some way, and he was quick to explain, “I was talking to my mom, letting her know that we might have to do a rain check. You and I were supposed to fly out and see her this weekend. Remember?”

That was true. Your last night in Monaco was always meant to be yesterday regardless of how the day’s events played out. “Ah,” you replied, quiet. It would have been your first time meeting his mother. Which meant things were serious. “Well, you’re still close to home.”

“She doesn’t know that,” Johnny said. “She did most of the talking. I was trying to keep her from getting worried without revealing too much information.”

That was a perfectly logical explanation and you believed him wholeheartedly. You made a face, feeling guilty for suspecting someone as harmless as Johnny. Maybe that phone call with Mark the other day was making you even more paranoid than you already were. 

That was the way of life around here, though. Your kind didn’t believe in being innocent until proven guilty. It was the other way around. As much as you wanted to deny it, Mark had a valid point. You needed to hold Johnny to the same standard that you held henchmen. 

But you still felt bad. In your mind, Johnny was probably the last person you needed to be evaluating. “I’m sorry,” you whispered with obvious guilt. 

“Don’t apologize,” Johnny told you, patting your thigh. “You want to be safe. I get it. Like I said, trust your gut.”

You swallowed. That was the problem. You had always trusted your gut, but between her and your heart, you couldn’t tell the difference when you were with Johnny. “There’s an old saying in the underground, uh, my former boss told me. Death that tastes like sugar is poison.”

Johnny cocked his head, staring deeply into your eyes. And maybe your soul. “What’s it mean?”

“That something that seems too good to be true probably is,” you said, your gaze unfaltering as you watched him watch you. 

Johnny took that in stride, chuckling. Draping an arm over you, he asked softly, “How do you sleep at night when you’re always looking over your shoulder?”

“Because I have you next to me,” you quipped.

Johnny laughed. “Good answer.”

Playfully ruining the mood, you added, “And your dick also makes a good lullaby. You wear me out.”

“Better answer,” Johnny replied, leaning in to meet his lips to yours in a gentle, intimate kiss. The feeling of your body made him feel warm all over. 

You kissed him back, hands combing through his hair. And he was sweet as sugar.

You soon forgot all about your suspicions and tried to forget about your worries as well, but it was much harder done than said. Keeping your mind off the madness was like pulling teeth. Johnny wanted to help, but the more he tried to comfort you, the more shame and dread made your stomach ache. 

You were just antsy. Waiting on a phone call or something from Doyoung was leaving you on edge. The silence was suffocating. Any moment you could die and the people hunting you had a solid five different ways to take you out of the picture. For good. 

At the same time, you were thinking of Johnny’s comfort too. You could tell he didn’t exactly love this place. It was a far cry from the luxurious suite in Monaco, but it was something you were accustomed to as a criminal. Your only hope was that it didn’t inconvenience Johnny too much to be here. You knew how he hated confinement. 

You also knew that it was for the best. There was no way you could promise to keep him safe if he wasn’t here beside one of the most lethal proxies to enter the league. Though you couldn’t help but regret coming into his life and bringing your chaos with you. It was selfish. He may have insisted that he wasn't afraid of your darkness, but Johnny had also never seen your monsters. 

Even you were scared of them. That said more than enough. 

With that thought, you considered the only thing you hadn’t done. The one option you had been actively avoiding. Which was telling Johnny the whole truth. You were painfully aware that if you told him the full extent of what you were, you couldn’t just stop there. You would have to tell him everything.

That thought was terrifying. It might have done you some good to confess away the weight on your chest, but you didn’t want anything to change more than it likely already had. You liked things between you and Johnny the way they were without him knowing what all you’d done, but the truth of the matter was that he already knew. He may not have known the details, but there was no doubt he had imagined it. 

Frankly, whatever he was picturing in his head was probably nothing compared to what you had actually gone through. 

With a sigh, you removed yourself from your post in the living room and made your way over to the bedroom where Johnny was. He looked up when he heard you come in and watched you plop down beside him. “Hi,” you greeted, shyer than you had ever been with him.

Johnny held back a chuckle, wondering what that meant. “Hi, beautiful.”

That word stung to an indescribable level, because you felt so ugly at the moment. For what you had done. For what you had seen. And for what you hadn’t said. “I’m coming clean.”

Johnny raised a brow. “Oh?”

You nodded, stuck in the middle of an extremely unfair game of tug of war with your nerves. “Yeah. You deserve to know the truth. And the truth is that I’ve been hiding myself from you for eight months.”

Johnny didn’t say a word, letting you talk. He recognized that look on your face, the one that meant you had something to get off your chest. 

You took a deep breath and explained, “When we first met in that hotel earlier this year, I was in the middle of a mission. A week after we hooked up, I finished it. It was the last one I ever did, because I got so tangled in you that you made me want to be normal again. So I hung up my cap and tried to live a happy life with you.” 

“But then this happened,” he finished for you in typical Johnny fashion. 

“Yeah,” you replied, glancing down at your hands in your lap and chuckling faintly. “Five years ago, I was a part of a unit assigned to eliminate a major sub in the underground. Subject, I mean. That’s what we call our hits.”

Johnny nodded along in understanding. “I’m guessing that didn’t go too well?”

You swallowed, fumbling with your hands. This was your least favorite part of the story. “We got so close. We were at this ball for his drug front. I still don’t know how it happened and how he found out, but two of us died that night. The other five survived by the skin of our teeth.”

“That dude you said opened a poisoned letter,” Johnny started, mentally connecting the dots. “Was he a member of your team?”

You frowned. “He was. There was another girl too, and she was killed the other morning. There’s only three of us now. We’re all being hunted to the last man.”

The room was silent. It didn’t surprise you that Johnny had gone quiet, probably trying to process everything you were telling him, but it did unnerve you a little. 

You had so much more to say. Now that you had gotten started, a part of you didn’t want to stop. You had been carrying these secrets with you since forever. “After we made it out, we had all agreed to lay low and not draw any attention to ourselves. One of my partners went back home to Canada because that’s where he feels safe. But I don’t feel safe anywhere. That’s why I’m always moving. It’s not because I like traveling. It’s because I’m on the run.”

“That’s like running from your shadow,” Johnny whispered, gently putting an arm over your shoulder. He wasn’t in any way malicious, but that comment made you sweat. 

He was right. The shadow of who you were would follow you perpetually. You couldn’t just wipe the slate clean now that it was stained in blood. It was naive of you to think that the past wouldn’t come back to bite you. This life had chosen you, after all. Not the other way around. 

“You are the one place in this world where I feel safe. Where I feel like I don’t have to hide,” you confessed, glancing up to meet his gaze. “But at the same time, that’s why I’ve been hiding from you. I was scared that if you knew what I really am, you wouldn’t want to be with me anymore. And I would lose the only reliable thing I have.”

Johnny didn’t say anything about that, gingerly running his hands over you. You already knew that he wasn’t leaving. “What all do you know about this sub you were hunting?”

The better question would have been what you didn’t know. You worked harder than you’d played, and you’d gone through great lengths to uncover the dirty secrets of that syndicate and each of its high-ranking members. The Emperor, their leader. Volcano, the explosionist. Toxic, the poisoner. Bullseye, the sniper. Torch, the arsonist. And Backstabber, the spy. 

You sighed, being forced to confront the part of your life you’d been running from for the past five years. “Frankly, I’ve never seen his face. We just know that he runs one of the most dangerous syndicates in the underground. We got damning info on their ranks, their functions and their operations. It was the most advanced job I ever had.”

“How come?”

“Well, because the core of my job is that I’m more of a killer,” you replied, the words like poison on your own tongue. “When you kill big fish, it’s natural to have to do a lot of digging to establish the best method, but nothing like this. This was months of grueling effort even with a team. And it was my first time with a group.”

You were not used to working on a team and it was more than a little obvious, but the seven of you made it work. Mark could testify to your aloofness. You were good friends now, but you rarely went out of your way to speak to him. It was nothing personal; that was just how you rolled. 

Johnny was taking all of this surprisingly well. He didn’t flinch once when you casually mentioned killing. “Five years is a long wait.”

You shrugged your shoulders. You had held grudges for much longer. And in the underground, people forgot very little. They forgave even less. “When you make an attempt on someone’s life, it’s not,” you told him, a shiver running your own spine. “It’s perfectly calculated revenge. Like I said, our unit buckled down on safety after the mission failed. I’m sure the syndicate wanted to wait until we let our guard down to strike.”

“You said it's a big syndicate,” Johnny reminded, maybe the smallest hint of concern in his voice, as if he was trying not to let it show. “Where do you stand in the line between the powerful and the powerless?”

That was an unexpected question and it made your brows knit together in thought. “Well, I’m not in the game anymore, but I’ve spent a lifetime building up my power and rep. I’ve got influence. I could still have my hand in the business if I wanted, if you know what I mean. And I’m a pretty good damn shot. I’ve never missed.”

Johnny cocked his head. “So you just threw it all away to be with me? And they just let you?” 

“When I last worked, I was a freelance proxy. I didn’t belong to a network and I never will again,” you replied with noticeable disdain. “When you’re as good as me, it gets you power,  but it also gets you a lot of enemies. So obviously there’s a lot of people out there that don’t wanna see me happy. That’s why I lay low.”

Johnny took a good look at you. He knew you were making it sound easier than it was, but he couldn’t be bothered to care. The place he was looking was far deeper. “Why this life? Why not something more normal or less dangerous? Why did you choose to live a life where the only thing you can trust is your gut?”

“I didn’t choose it,” you said, quiet as a mouse. “I didn’t have a chance to be anything different. It was either this, or a slow death. I lived on the streets as a kid and I saw a lot of crazy shit in a short time. I guess it desensitized me. Which made me the perfect candidate for a contract killer.”

“So you were taken in?” Johnny asked. 

“Remember how I said I didn’t wanna be in a network again?”

Johnny nodded his head, seeing where you were going with this, and he frowned at the thought of something happening to you. “Yeah, I noticed that.”

“Well, they took me in when I was twelve,” you told him, less than proud. But you told yourself countless times that you’d only done what you had to do to survive. “Primed me for the job. They said I would make them a lot of money someday. And I did.”

Johnny wasn’t too convinced that this was so simple either. “There’s more to the story. Isn’t there?”

You tensed with something far more explosive than anger and potent than sadness, something that made your eyes blur. You fought it with all your strength, whispering, “I went through a lot of shit, Johnny. But I couldn’t leave. Because they told me they were the only family I would ever have. And they weren’t wrong. But the shit they put me through? I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. And I have a lot of those.”

Johnny frowned, but he’d expected as much. He doubted there were a large number of people that had a normal upbringing and yet went on to become contract killers, if any at all. He whispered your name softly. “You didn’t deserve whatever you went through.”

Your eyes were burning. “Then why does it feel like I’ve been punished since the second I was born?”

Hearing you say that broke Johnny’s heart. It was clear to him that you had been through hell and back. More than anything, he wanted to relieve you of all your suffering and kill all the demons he knew you’d faced. The demons he knew you weren’t done facing. “I want you to listen to me carefully,” he said softly, taking your hand in his own. “You are not being punished. I know it’s unfair what happened to you, but you did what anyone would have done to make it. You made a hard choice. You made the strong one.”

“I’m tired of being strong,” you murmured. 

“I know. I know you are,” Johnny replied, letting you rest your head on your shoulder. “But that’s exactly what these people want. They want to break you down and give you a reason not to fight. Don’t let them win.”

You were silent for a long minute, strangely comforted by his words. So many times had you thought of giving up, of letting go. The main reason you were still alive was because you were too cocky to let anyone else kill you and too much of a coward to do it on your own. 

Finally, you glanced up into Johnny’s eyes and asked, “Why aren’t you scared of me?”

Johnny could see the vulnerability in your expression, a part of you he had never seen before, and it made him even more curious about you than he already was. “Because I don’t think you’re a monster.” 

Those words came with an impact. You didn’t know how to feel. There was something about the way Johnny saw you that was so damn precious and too much of a damn lie. 

“Call me crazy, but I don’t think there’s anything you could ever do to scare me away,” he continued, looking at you like you were the most beautiful woman in the world. He wished you could see yourself the way he saw you. 

You swallowed hard. It was hard to believe that you had found someone with such unwavering loyalty to you, without any ulterior motives. You felt bad for doubting him again, but you just couldn’t shake the thought that something wasn’t right. Your insecurities were loud. 

One part of it was that you had always viewed Johnny as the perfect picture of what a normal life should have looked like. What did it mean if he glimpsed into your world and somehow didn’t immediately run the other direction?

Johnny tilted your head up and placed his thumb on your bottom lip, as if he was preparing to lean in for a kiss. You would have let him, but in that very moment, your phone began to ring in your back pocket. 

You startled, pulling away and immediately putting the phone up to your ear. “What’s the move?”

“It’s time,” came Doyoung’s voice from the phone, stern as ever. “You know where to go. Don’t waste any time.”

“Copy that,” you answered, sending a look Johnny’s way to let him know it was time to get going. 

The line went dead and you immediately got to work. Johnny had already started moving, preparing to leave the house and head towards the final destination. “Where are we even going?” he asked in the middle of gathering his things for the second time. 

It was a valid question and Johnny was half expecting a vague answer, so he was surprised when you replied, “Dead Man’s End. It’s an old refuge for assassins, been around since the eighties. It’s kind of like a hitman hotel, if you will.”

Johnny grimaced. “That just sounds like a recipe for disaster to me. Are you sure about this?”

You exhaled a deep breath, pausing dead in your tracks. That was a good question for which you didn’t have a proper answer. “No, but it’s our best bet at figuring out what the hell is going on. And besides, the road there is way scarier than the place itself.”

“Whatever that means,” Johnny mumbled. 

His reluctance made you frown. You understood his distaste, but this was entirely out of your hands. Your best bet at survival was by pairing together with the last walking members of your old unit and going over what you knew about this organization. 

As long as you were still breathing, no one was going to hunt you like an animal and get away with it. 

There were a couple hours of travel to make and Johnny was adamant that he would drive, even if he didn’t know the roads. You let him. It wasn’t like you were expecting a coup. When you said the road to the hotel was scarier than the place itself, you’d only meant putting up with all the dread and unease.  

After driving endlessly, you finally pulled in front of a random building in the middle of essentially nowhere. You knew you were at the right place when you noticed how meager the place looked from the exterior. Nothing that would draw unwanted attention. It was the perfect hideout for criminals like yourself with a lot of blood on their hands. 

“So, what’s the plan?” Johnny asked as you both carried your things to the door.

You kept yourself composed. “We’re going to walk in and get a room. Don’t say anything. I’m gonna find my boss.”

Johnny nodded, opening the lobby door and holding it for you as you strolled inside with your suitcase in tow. You thanked him and he followed you straight to the front desk where a woman was sitting there on the phone. She glanced up at you and mouthed, “One moment, please.”

While you waited, you glanced around the lobby, scrutinizing it with the intent to commit the entire layout to memory. There was standard hotel stuff, in spite of this being a getaway for lowlifes. A small lounge area with the television set on some sports channel. An even smaller spot for brewing coffee. There were more things down the hall beside the elevator. 

The lack of other human presence didn’t concern you. Most wouldn’t hang out somewhere as open and vulnerable as the main lobby, and the wise few wouldn’t come out at all. You didn’t look for long. You didn’t need to. It was your job to be able to record a lot of information with little time and effort, and nothing seemed out of place, so far. 

“Alright, sorry about that,” the receptionist said after a few minutes, putting the phone down. She glanced between you and Johnny. “Name and handler?”

You told her your name and gave her Doyoung’s, before gesturing towards Johnny and adding casually, “He’s with me.”

The receptionist glanced up at Johnny and nodded, documenting his name in addition to yours. “I’m going to need you to check in your weapons, please.”

Drawing your weapon from behind you, you signaled towards Johnny again and told her, “He’s not carrying.”

“That’s fine, but I still need you both to check your luggage through that door over there. It’s like the airport, only much simpler.”

The expression on Johnny’s face gave away the fact he clearly found the policy odd, but you both followed instructions and stepped through the security checkpoint one after another, not hearing a single beep. 

But when the receptionist handed over your keycards, instructing you to head to the elevator on the right hand side of the room, Johnny crept close and whispered, “Never heard of criminals checking in their guns.” 

You snickered. “I told you, the road here is scarier than the place itself. With a bunch of murderers in the same room, shit’s bound to get messy if we’re all packing. It’s the only thing that makes this place remotely safe.”

Johnny didn’t seem too convinced about the safety of this refuge. “You don’t need a gun to kill someone.”

“That’s true, but it makes things a lot easier,” you replied, pressing the second floor button. It was perfectly safe; not too close to the bottom floor, yet not too far away from the ground.

Johnny had no argument. 

When you reached the second floor, you both stepped out, scanning the hallway for your room number. The walls were a murky shade of green, the paint chipping off and every decoration (which they barely had) looking as if it was on its last leg. The entire place appeared stale and in violent need of renovation, but something about it was strangely comforting. 

You walked by one door and immediately got a strong whiff of marijuana. “Someone’s getting high as hell,” Johnny quipped. 

“Could be worse,” you murmured. 

The second you were in the room, you locked the door and secured the door chain, making sure no one could creep inside behind you. Then, you swung your luggage onto the bed and dug in your pockets for your phone, sending Doyoung a text to let him know that you had checked in and you were ready to meet. 

“I’m guessing your former boss’ name is Doyoung,” Johnny said, given that was the name you had supplied to the receptionist earlier. “Is he here?”

“No idea,” you replied, brows stitched together. You had been expecting an instant response or phone call. “I thought he would be. I’ll give it twenty minutes before I get suspicious.”

Johnny had noticed a shift in you. You seemed somewhat more comfortable and at ease here than you ever did at the five-star hotels he’d stayed in with you or even the safe house you’d locked yourselves in only some hours before, and he wanted some kind of explanation. He knew you had your reasons for everything, but the idea didn’t make any sense to him whatsoever. 

But he didn’t ask. Instead, he settled on the bed and flirted, “You know what I could do to you in twenty minutes?”

“Absolutely nothing,” you chirped, playing along. “Our foreplay lasts way longer than that.”

Johnny chortled, knowing it was true. A solid half of your foreplay didn’t even involve physical touch. Sometimes he got worked up simply from talking to you and listening to you speak your mind. “We can skip the talking,” he said, loosely grabbing your waist. “That’s my favorite part though.”

“Mine, too,” you agreed. “But frankly, I don’t trust these beds.”

Johnny laughed. Everything about this building made it seem like it hadn’t been touched in decades. “Well, let’s hope we’re not here for long.”

You wouldn’t be. Either you would come to danger, or danger would flock to you in large quantities. No matter what happened, your only hope was that you would be prepared. There was no hiding. 

At first, ten minutes passed. Weird, but no big deal. Then an entire twenty went by and you were still snuggling up on Johnny, having not heard a single chime or ping. That was extremely out of the ordinary and you internally began to fret. 

Retreating from Johnny’s arms ever so begrudgingly, you gave him a fleeting kiss on the lips and said, “I’m gonna go check things out. It’s really weird that he hasn’t called or texted me yet.”

There was a hint of reluctance in Johnny’s eyes, as if he didn’t want to let you go, but there was nothing he could do to keep you still. You were restless. “Be safe,” he told you, appreciating how the faint feeling of your kiss was lingering on his lips. 

“You be safe too,” you replied with worry. It wasn’t like you wanted to leave Johnny alone, but you trusted that he could hold his own. “Keep the door locked at all times. The bolt and the chain.”

Johnny waved you off. “I know, I know. I’m not a kid, baby.”

“I just want to make sure you’re careful. I love you.” The words had already escaped your lips before you realized exactly what you were saying, but you couldn’t take it back. You blinked in surprise. 

Johnny’s eyes widened vaguely, having not expected you to blurt out a confession of your love for him, but he was pleasantly surprised. “I know you do. I love you too.”

You nodded silently, feeling awkward. With one final glance and a pat on his shoulder, you waved goodbye and turned away. 

There was something you had to get to the bottom of. 

You stepped into the hallway. Doyoung was the type of human being you didn’t call unless it was an absolute emergency, as were you, so you had tried to keep your conversations strictly written only, but something about this situation was starting to give you unpleasant vibes. Calling you hours ago to order you here, but not being around himself, didn’t make any sense. 

Not to mention Mark, who you hadn’t heard from since that less than ten-minute phone call you’d had when you landed. You wondered if he had even arrived in the States safely. The most important thing right now was figuring out if he and Doyoung were even still alive.

The thought struck fear into your very soul, but you tried not to let it consume you. There was a reason the lot of you had been assigned together to the same team, and that was because you had the means and the willpower to survive. You wouldn’t be taken down easily and neither would they. They were strong. 

You felt borderline naked without your gun as you sauntered very quietly down the hallway of the second floor, but the knowledge that no one else had their weapons on them either provided you some easy reassurance. Plus you had something that not everyone else did. Your tenacity was your secret weapon. 

With no other viable option, you gave in and dialed Doyoung’s number on the burner phone, hoping he would pick up after a few rings. The call immediately went to voicemail. You furrowed your brows and tried again, but he ultimately still didn’t answer. 

Which made you moderately anxious. 

Maybe he had to get another phone, you told yourself, which still didn’t make enough sense. Doyoung had a remarkable memory. Wouldn’t he still try to contact you?

This was officially beyond weird. This was venturing into the territory of all things dark and dangerous. You promptly dialed Mark’s number instead, hopeful to get a hold of him, but to no avail. Rather than go straight to voicemail like Doyoung’s phone, it went on and on. 

Fuck, he switched phones, you remembered, thrusting yourself back into that phone call you’d had the other day. He had said something about how he was about to toss his phone and how you had good timing. Wherever it was, it wasn’t off or dead, but still of no use to either of you now.

That was the catch. You were meant to be elusive and completely untraceable, but it came to a disadvantage when even the people you needed most couldn’t reach you. 

Having no idea what else to do, you turned around and headed back for your room to regroup, knowing you needed to mull over your next steps and the middle of a hallway was no place to do something like that. On the way, you paid close attention to the windows and any potential blind spots. 

Upon unlocking the door, you were surprised it opened immediately without any need for asking Johnny to unhook the chain. Fuck’s sake, didn’t you tell him to lock it behind you?

“Johnny,” you called out in annoyance, shutting and bolting the door behind yourself as you walked inside. You had been expecting to find him pacing around somewhere or gazing out the window, but you didn’t see his tall body anywhere in the tiny room. 

You narrowed your eyes and checked the bathroom, but it was entirely clear too. Johnny wasn’t here. Matter of fact, the only thing that indicated he was ever even here was his bag on the single bed.

Something like panic filled your chest and made your stomach tighten. Your brain immediately went to the worst case scenario. Did someone get to him in the five seconds you had turned your back? How in the hell did he sneak out of the hallway without you noticing?

You shook your head, willing yourself to calm down. Maybe he just went downstairs to get coffee or something. You knew he needed coffee like an addict needed crack. He would drink it at any given hour. 

Solely to be safe, you quickly called his burner number, having saved it in case of situations like this. You were disappointed when it rang and rang with no answer, wondering what in the hell was happening. It had to be on his person. You would have heard it otherwise.

You groaned and stepped back into the green corridor, confused as all hell. Your very first thought was the elevator. The only reasonable idea you could conceivably imagine in the midst of all this bewilderment was to return to the main floor and see if the receptionist could clue you in on any significant information. 

It felt like you had been standing in front of the elevator for ages before it finally drew back its doors with a chime and allowed you to enter. You pressed the lobby button and waited patiently for it to descend down to the main floor.

The trip took a long minute. Though it was only two floors down, the elevator didn’t seem to be in the same rush you were in, which was more than a little frustrating. Every second you went without answers was another second you couldn’t bring yourself to relax. 

You breathed in a short-lived relief as the doors opened again and you walked onto the main floor, straight for the lobby. The sight in front of you only made you blink. 

The receptionist was very dead, slumped forward onto the front desk. You could see the wound that had done her in, one shot to the back of her neck. The exact same way Doyoung said Margo had been killed. The exact same pattern you had studied in that unit so many years back. 

You shuddered. They were here. Your initial instinct was to charge into the inventory behind the front desk where the receptionist had checked in all of the weapons, but the shock on your face when you realized the entire inventory had been cleared out was priceless. 

“Well, I’ll be damned,” you said aloud in total disbelief. Not only did that mean that you were unarmed, but at least one person here had access to several different weapons.

And you had no idea where Johnny was, or literally anybody else for that matter. 

Paranoid as ever, you frantically called Johnny’s number again, mumbling under your breath for him to pick up the damn phone. Your blood was pumping belligerently in your veins and you were seconds away from losing your ability to think altogether. 

A noise echoed from behind you, making you snap around. You heard a ringing sound from the lounge area of the lobby, but no one was there. You did notice, however, the familiar phone on one of the coffee tables. 

Johnny’s phone was here. Which meant that at some point, he had been here as well. And he possibly knew what had happened with the receptionist. 

Your brain was starting to hurt, spiraling with all the different possibilities of what had happened and what was to come. There was only one thing you knew for certain, and that was that your trust in Johnny was steadily beginning to wane. There was no longer a strong faith in his seemingly normal, picture perfect life. With every second that passed without knowing where he was, it dwindled more and more. 

An idea popped into your head and you stepped around the desk, skillfully maneuvering around the dead body to briefly scan today’s log for any relevant information. You didn’t know why you hadn’t thought of it sooner. If any of your colleagues had checked in, their names would be on the paper.

You grinned triumphantly when you saw two familiar names, Mark and Doyoung. They had both checked in this morning, hours apart, with Doyoung logically getting here first and Mark some time afterwards. So they were here. The only thing that didn’t make sense was why you hadn’t heard a peep from either of them since your last exchanges over the phone. 

At the very least, you knew you had to keep moving. You were a walking target the longer you stayed in place. There had to be a way to figure out where they were without risking your life in the process. It may have felt like it, but you weren’t the only one in the building.

Making a beeline for the elevator, you tried to create some semblance of a plan. Given the other one was out of order, it was the only functioning elevator connecting the four total floors, which made it a dangerous spot for anyone trying to travel. And seemingly so far, no one else had been brave enough. 

That, or they took the stairs. Either way, you had to be cautious. You saw the way the receptionist had been killed - quick, efficient, and more importantly, quiet. Gone within a blink. There were people here who wanted you dead, likely staking out every available exit, and you had to be both stronger and smarter than them if you wanted a shot at survival. 

The very second you were back in the room, you chained the door shut behind yourself. It felt like you were walking in circles. Your body was hyper aware of the danger it was involved in, burning with the urge to pace around, but you didn’t want to make excessive noise or draw any unwanted attention to yourself with movement. 

You did, however, approach the closet in search of something that could be used as a makeshift weapon, knowing that you inevitably would have to go back out. You stilled when one of the floorboards creaked beneath your weight. At first, it was out of fear of making too much noise. Then, you realized there was something unusual about the panel. 

It was loose, as if it had been removed and then placed back improperly. With your experience in the industry, you knew it was very common for proxies to leave tools in place for their allies to use. You weren’t at all surprised to find something like this in the hotel. 

Getting down on your knees, you scanned the room for something to facilitate pulling up the panel, grabbing the closest object of assistance and digging up whatever the hell was clearly underneath the wooden plank.

It was a gun. 

You beamed, victorious. Upon checking the chamber, you found it was fully loaded. Meaning you had all the ammunition in the world in comparison to most people here, assuming those stolen guns in the inventory had fallen into the hands of one person and not many. 

Well, that changed things. For one, you no longer had to confine yourself to this room for half of eternity. You would obviously still need to be extremely cautious, but now you had a means of defending yourself. And for two, it would be easier to find your former teammates, and get rid of anyone who stood in your way. 

With a sigh, you nodded to yourself, standing up. You tried to think of a tentative plan. For starters, you had to find Doyoung. He would have answers, he always did. And where in the hell had Johnny run off to? 

Back in the hallway, it didn’t take long for you to get your answer. 

Johnny was by the elevator, stained in blood.

You rooted in place as if you had crossed paths with a wild bear. For a second, you couldn’t even feel yourself breathe. Your heart all but stopped. And when Johnny finally turned and saw you, standing there in total shock, the emotion on his face was completely unreadable. 

There was a dry lump in your throat that you tried to dampen by swallowing. Who’s fucking blood was that? 

Then, it hit you. 

“Did you kill the receptionist?” you asked, blurting out the question the moment it entered your mind. 

Johnny had the audacity to blink in surprise, as if he had no idea what you were talking about. Which you didn’t believe for a second. “No, of course not.”

“I don’t believe you,” you snapped. “You disappeared when I told you to stay inside. I called your phone. You weren’t in the lobby, but it was. Don’t expect me to believe that you had nothing to do with this.”

In an attempt to be consoling, Johnny reached out to hold you like he had always done when he tried to reassure you calmly, gingerly calling out your name before responding, “Baby, I know what it looks like, but…”

You instinctively whipped out the gun you had found, pointing it at him in a heartbeat as you stepped away. “Don’t fucking touch me,” you warned, threatening. Your true colors were showing. The side of you that you never let him see. “I swear to God, I will shoot you.”

Johnny backed up, putting his hands up in innocence, as if he had nothing wrong. He looked surprised, likely not expecting you to be armed, whereas it didn’t seem like he was packing. Right now. “It looks like my cat’s out of the bag. I might as well come clean.”

Your heart was trembling, but your mind was trying to cling onto some leftover strength. She wasn’t a quitter. “You knew. You knew ever since we got that laced letter.”

“There was no laced letter,” Johnny replied, indifferent. 

Your eyes narrowed. “And how would you know that?”

“Because I’m the one that sent it to us.”

You didn’t think it was possible for you to go any more still than you already had, but now you were as rigid as a corpse, standing there in a kind of disbelief stronger than the agony of a bullet tearing through flesh. “Who are you?” you asked stiffly. 

Johnny smirked, as if he was proud of himself for having deceived you all this time. “Take a wild guess.”

“You’re his gun,” you said, hands trembling as you grasped the weapon in your hands. All this time, your kryptonite had been hiding in plain sight. You had shown affection to the enemy, held him, made love to him. Slept beside him at night with all the trust your wounded self could muster.  

“I consider myself his poison,” Johnny retorted. 

You gawked. The gears were turning in your head, the gears that should have turned a long time ago, but you were too love blind to see it. “Your function,” you gasped. “You’re the poisoner. You’re Toxic.”

“Ding. Ding. Ding. I was wondering how long it would take you to figure me out. They said you were the best of the best, you know. I guess that was before I got to you,” Johnny replied, grinning from ear to ear. He sighed, content. Then, he patted himself on the back, and quipped, “Good going, Johnny.”

“Is this a fucking joke to you?” you asked viciously, clearly having none of it.

“Maybe just a little bit, yeah,” Johnny admitted, chuckling faintly. “I mean, you have to admit I got you good. Rich American guy who loves traveling but never talks in detail about his job. I mean, I thought it would be too convenient, but you never asked any questions.”

Because I didn’t want you asking any questions about mine, you thought, but the words wouldn’t come. You were too stunned to speak. He had you completely fooled.

“You’re a bastard,” you sneered. 

Rather than be offended, Johnny laughed in amusement. “How are we any different? You had your secrets too.”

“I told you what I was when shit hit the fan,” you replied, although you knew it would be impossible to justify your half of it. You were just so sick of who you used to be and you didn’t want to risk losing what you had now. 

“Yeah, after shit hit the fan,” Johnny said, making a valid point. “Do you know how easy it would have been for me to take your life? God knows I’ve had ample opportunity. And yet you’re still here. Do you wanna know why?”

“Because you want to savor this to the last breath,” you replied, guarded. 

“Because I’m in love with you. Tragically. Fatally. Dangerously.”

You would be lying if you said that you didn’t want to believe him, to crawl into his bloody arms and let him hold you as if you meant something to him. But now you knew what he was. He was exactly like you, if not worse. And you were no stranger to telling a fib if the job required it. 

“Sometimes love isn’t enough,” you argued, willing yourself to be strong. “Where’s Doyoung?”

Johnny wanted to touch you. Where words had failed, he knew his body could win you over, but something told him it wasn’t the best call to make right now. He sobered. “I have no idea, but you need to stay away from him. He’s not what you think he is.”

Your skepticism only heightened. “What do you know about him?”

Johnny was holding back, his hands still above his head. There was obviously something he wasn’t telling you. “He’s dangerous. This whole trip is a scheme to kill you and your friends. He wanted to pry you out of hiding.”

“But you went along with it without saying a thing,” you reminded, doubtful. “How is that any better?”

Johnny sighed. “I had to. It’s the only way.”

“The only way to do what?”

“To get rid of him.”

“Get rid of him for what?”

“He’s the Emperor, baby.”

You shook your head in denial. For one, that didn’t make any sense. Doyoung was the same person you had spent years of your life hunting? Impossible. You saw the grief on his face that night your other teammates had been killed like lambs to the slaughter. 

The idea that he was another evil, however, did explain his absence now that you were finally in the kill zone. You still weren’t entirely adamant on trusting Johnny though. Fuck’s sake, he was covered in blood right now. And you didn’t want to know why. 

“You’re lying,” you sneered, pressing the button to summon the elevator. You couldn’t look at him, couldn’t stand next to him. It was too goddamn overwhelming. 

“I can see why you think that,” Johnny replied softly, having suddenly turned serious. Like he was trying to prove his innocence somehow, even if he was stained in the evidence of what he truly was. “But I promise I’m not.”

You scoffed. If only life was so simple, where promises were inherently something of substance. “Your word means nothing to me right now. You’re a killer,” you said, tightening your grip on the firearm in your hand. 

“I’ve been a killer long before we met. So have you,” Johnny reminded, his voice becoming slightly sharper. “And you know what? I’ve never lied to you. I’ve just kept you away from the whole truth.”

You raised your voice, asking, “How do I know that?”

That tone was something Johnny had never heard from you before, and in a way nothing else ever had, it startled him; it showed him how close he was to losing you. “Don’t you trust me?”

You didn’t even grant that a response. You felt completely and utterly betrayed, even if a part of you didn’t think you had any right to be. It felt like a direct affront to your character that he even asked you something like that. You had trusted him, and look what that had gotten you. Where it had gotten you.

“I’m going to leave this floor,” you replied, gesturing towards the elevator. “And you’re going to make yourself useful, or die trying.”

Johnny looked at you, more so the gun in your hands, eyes flickering in surprise. “You’re leaving? What? No. You can’t do that.”

“Watch me,” you whispered, stepping backwards into the elevator. The whole time, your eyes were trained on Johnny and so was your weapon, making it abundantly clear that you were armed, capable, and very, very dangerous. 

Death didn’t discriminate, after all. Why should you? 

Not daring to move as much as an inch, Johnny watched the elevator door close, stealing you away from him and carrying you to God knows where. “Fuck,” he cursed under his breath, heart thudding violently. 

Once in the elevator, you relaxed, but even that was short-lived. You jolted when your phone began to ring and you were shocked when you read the number, recognizing it immediately. You put the phone to your ear and answered, “Jesus, Doyoung. Where the hell are you?”

In typical Doyoung fashion, he didn’t waste any time on explanations, whispering, “Listen to me. Johnny’s lost it. I watched him shoot the receptionist with my own eyes.”

Your brows furrowed. You had mentioned Johnny to Doyoung before, but only vaguely. Not once did you ever reveal his identity. “How do you know his name?”

“How do you think?” Doyoung asked, suggesting it was obvious. “I’ve been keeping tabs on you. I had to make sure you were safe, that you weren’t falling into the same trap as the others.”

“And what did you conclude?”

With seemingly no intention to be very forward for once in his life, Doyoung continued, “I was suspicious. His record was squeaky clean, too clean, so I kept digging. I didn’t find a damn thing, but I knew I was right to be suspicious when I saw him shoot the receptionist with no mercy.”

You shook your head, thinking it over. Missing inventory aside, whoever killed the receptionist had to have access to a gun, but they had all been checked in upon entrance. And you knew Johnny wasn’t carrying one, because the machine would have dinged if he was. 

Though that didn’t mean there weren’t any other weapons in the building whatsoever. You were sure there was some way to sneak them inside and plant them for others to get a hold of. Hell, that was the only reason you had one now. 

To say nothing of the fact that he was literally stained in blood. That was the entire reason you had suspected him in the first place. The only problem was that now that you thought about it, he couldn’t have been armed. You saw the look on his face when you left and it couldn’t just have been because he didn’t want you to go. 

It was because you had something valuable. 

Another conflicting part of the story was that Doyoung talked about Johnny as if they had never met before, but Johnny himself had told you he was the Emperor. Which, if true, meant Doyoung was his boss. So, one of them was lying. 

Stepping out of the elevator onto the bottom floor, you stealthily paced the corridors with the gun in your clasp and the phone to your ear, whispering, “Why didn’t you call me earlier?”

“I meant to, I really did, but after I checked in, all this crazy stuff started happening, and…,” Doyoung trailed off, confusing you. Until he added, “You have a gun?”

That voice didn’t only come from your phone; it came from behind. You whipped around in a blink, noticing Doyoung standing a few feet away, eyes widened in surprise. 

You hung up. You hadn’t seen Doyoung in person in years. He hardly looked any different. He still had deep, dark hair and that stern, chiseled face. And he still had this commanding aura to him that had made him so efficient as your leader. 

But you weren’t so confident about him anymore. Not after the interaction you’d just had. Johnny had planted doubts in your mind, even if you didn’t trust him either. You figured it was in your best interest to assume everyone was dangerous and a threat until proven otherwise. 

“I found it in one of the rooms,” you replied casually, but you stiffened as he stepped closer to you. “Why?”

Doyoung looked more alarmed than you had seen him since that godawful night so long ago. He whispered, “You need to give it to me. I think Johnny’s the Emperor.”

“What?”

“Why else would he kill the receptionist?” Doyoung asked, frantic. “I know you like him, maybe you love him, but this is important. We have to kill him before he kills us.”

You heard heavy footsteps coming from the staircase at the end of the hallway and drew your gun in preparation, but you were surprised to see that it was Johnny. And he looked equally as stunned to see you standing there next to Doyoung.

“Stay away from her, Johnny,” Doyoung spoke up, getting the first word in. He stood in front of you, as if he was defending you. 

“Whatever he’s been telling you, he’s lying,” Johnny told you hurriedly, panting for breath. “You can’t trust him. I told you, he’s the Emperor.”

Doyoung looked offended. “What the hell are you talking about? You’re the Emperor. You planned all of this to isolate us and get us alone, didn’t you?”

Johnny raised his voice, insisting, “Don’t listen to him, he’s lying. I told you who I am. Think about it, baby. Why would he bring you here and make it easier for you to die?”

Doyoung matched his energy and snapped, “I brought us here so we can decide collectively on a course of action. We’re stronger together than we are alone.”

Ignoring him, Johnny focused on you entirely and reasoned, “You’re more vulnerable together and you know it. You said it yourself that you’re being hunted down to the last man. Why go out of the way to assassinate you when he could just lead you into a death trap?”

“That’s not true,” Doyoung hissed. 

Johnny called out your name, shifting around Doyoung to make eye contact with you. He could see how your trembling hands clasped the weapon like it was your only lifeline. “Please. I’d never hurt you, you have to trust me on that. Give me the gun.”

Rolling his eyes, Doyoung said, “Come on. You’ve known me for years. Give me the gun and we can walk out of here and go home.” 

Something inside you burned furiously. You didn’t have a home. You’d considered home to be wherever Johnny was, but even that had fallen through. And you knew that if you walked out of here without him, you would have nothing left except the shadow of what you used to be. You had nothing left to lose. 

When you told Johnny that you were on the run, he had said, That’s like running from your shadow. And now more than ever, you realized he was right. You couldn’t keep doing this to yourself anymore. You needed to end the fight once and for all so that you could finally know peace instead of transience. 

“Enough!” you screamed, pointing the gun back and forth between both men. They startled, your raising voice making them still. “You can both go to hell.”

With that, you took off, sprinting up the stairs and hoping to lose them before they could even attempt to catch up with you. That was one of the many, many pitfalls of being a woman in a male-dominated world. You had to compensate somehow, and what you lacked in strength, you made up for in speed and wit. 

You just hoped it would be enough to save you. 

There were footsteps behind you. You couldn’t see them when you turned, but you never stopped moving. The only thing you knew was that you had to think of a way to get out of here, but going outside was far too risky. You didn’t know what was waiting for you out there nor were you even remotely curious. 

You cut down to the other staircase on the right hand side of the hallway, hoping to outsmart them. There were only a handful of floors, but there had to be some way to buy yourself more time to think. They wouldn’t expect you to go back down, would they?

When you made it safely to the bottom floor, you checked both ways like a child crossing the street before circling back to the main lobby. It was strangely empty. You wondered if anyone was here other than the three of you. Mark crossed your mind and a palpable fear began pumping through your veins. 

He had signed in. You knew that much. Walking down the corridor you had clocked upon entrance, you made a beeline for the bar, knowing no one would expect to find you there of all locations. But to be safe, you locked the door and released a shaky sigh. 

Your head was spinning. Your mind was scattered. Someone had emptied out the inventory, but neither Johnny nor Doyoung clearly had weapons of any kind. So who in the hell stole all the guns?

A sudden sound jolted you out of your mental headache. Your first thought was the door you’d locked, but no one was there. Then, you heard it again. It was a thud, coming from behind the door, as if there was something behind it that couldn’t get free. Like a trapped bird throwing itself against its cage. 

Your heart was thumping in your chest as you approached the storage room, wielding your weapon. You heard the thud again; it sounded like a kick, followed by muffled noises. There was someone back there. You felt a sudden chill sweep over your shoulders. 

Taking a deep breath, you counted to three under your breath before you yanked at the knob, throwing the door open. 

Mark fell over, having been leaning on the door, and dropped to his side.

“Mark,” you gasped, recognizing him in a heartbeat. He was familiar to you, even in this disheveled state. 

He said something, eyes wide as he glanced at you, but you couldn’t make it out. There was tape over his mouth. 

You sat him up, crouching down onto your knees. After you had gotten him upright, you looked into his eyes and warned, “This is gonna hurt like a bitch. I’m sorry.”

With no further warning, you ripped the tape straight off in one clean jerk. 

Mark recoiled in pain. “Goddamn!”

You winced, as if you were the one hurting. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Mark replied, exhaling a breath of relief. He looked like he was simply happy that you had found him and he didn’t die in that storage room, which you understood. You could finally relax knowing he was physically okay. 

As you cautiously undid the tape binding his arms and legs, not wanting to cause him any more discomfort than necessary, you asked, “Who the hell did this to you?”

Mark shrugged. He looked like he had been through hell and back without taking absolutely any detours. His skin was damp with sweat you could feel through his clothes. There was a faint patch of blood on his skin and you assumed he’d been attacked. “I don’t know.”

Your brows furrowed. “What do you mean, you don’t know?”

“They came up from behind me while I was walking in the hallway,” Mark explained, stretching his limbs now that they were free. “I never saw their face. And when I came to, I was tied up in the closet.”

That only confused you even more. Obviously, there was something they didn’t want Mark to interfere with, but a bullet to the head seemed like a much more practical solution than tying him up and hiding his body. “Well, they didn’t kill you,” you pointed out. 

Mark nodded, sighing. “Yeah, but why?”

You sighed too. Like hell you knew. You had been expecting more bodies, more casualties. There no was no doubt you were grateful Mark wasn’t dead, but it still threw you off. “You were right.”

“Of course, I was,” Mark chirped, even though he had know idea what you were going on about. “So, what was I right about?”

“Johnny,” you told him quietly, almost like you were ashamed. Maybe you were. “He’s not what I thought he was. He’s one of us. And I was his sub.”

Mark gawked. A part of him had seen it like that coming, but it wasn’t like he had happily anticipated it. “Damn. I’m sorry.”

You tangled your hand through your hair, because now you were thinking about it and it was breaking your heart all over again. You had fallen six feet under for his deceit. The man you loved and thought you knew was just another proxy that had been contracted to take you out. Only this time, he had actually gotten close. 

“It gets worse,” you replied, forcing yourself to remember everything that had gone down in the past hour. “He claims to be Toxic. And he says that Doyoung is the Emperor.”

The first part seemed to surprise Mark more than the second and his brows knitted. “Wait, they sent Toxic after you instead of Backstabber? Why? I thought his function was just to poison people and leave. You guys have been together for months.”

“Why would he lie?”

Mark shrugged. “Maybe he’s the Emperor.”

You could literally feel your bones chilling. That was what Doyoung had said, and now Mark seemed to believe it too. You didn’t know what to think. “Johnny says Doyoung is the Emperor, but Doyoung says it’s Johnny. I don’t know who to trust.”

Marked mulled it over. There was a lot of catching up to do, all things considered. He shook his head, frowning. “What is your gut telling you?”

“I don’t know,” you whispered. You couldn’t even trust your instincts anymore, even after relying on them your whole life. Johnny had told you to trust your gut and kick everything else to the curb. But how could you when you didn’t know what it was trying to say?

You had learned to bridle it, but it never completely stopped. It became a whisper instead of a scream. And now there was a dull echo. 

“Come on,” Mark encouraged, grasping your shoulders. “Think. Forget everything you feel right now just for a second and think. You were in a unit with Doyoung for a year and you’ve spent the past however many months practically glued to Johnny’s hip. What did they say? How did they say it?”

You blinked. “Mark, I can’t.”

Mark shook his head. “Yes, you can. I know you want to move on from this life, but you never will if we can’t make it out of there. We need the clever assassin. Let her come out one last time and then kill her.”

You sucked in a breath, willing yourself to get back in shape. The clever assassin. The lethal proxy. The woman you thought was dead and buried. Now more than ever, you needed her back. One last time. “Someone shot the front desk lady. Uh, close range like Margo. Johnny was covered in blood. I thought it was him at first. Doyoung said he saw him shoot her with no mercy.”

“You said at first,” Mark pointed out. “Do you not think so anymore?”

You were reluctant for a minute, but you finally said, “They don’t have guns. They were both trying to convince me to give them mine, but I told them to fuck off.”

Mark was surprised. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. Someone took all of the guns from the inventory, but I don’t know where they are, and they both looked desperate for a weapon. Which means someone else is here too. But Johnny couldn’t have shot the receptionist if he didn’t have the means.”

“So, Doyoung lied,” Mark concluded. 

You shrugged. It seemed like the whole room was reeling at this point. “I guess so.”

Mark mumbled something under his breath, likely in shock as he processed the new information. “Then, the only question left is what are they so scared of?”

“Or who,” you replied quietly. 

Mark stood up. The solution seemed obvious to him. “We gotta go.”

Your eyes followed him. “And do what? We need a plan if we’re going to go out in the open.”

Mark shook his head. “Are you serious? Doyoung is guilty as all hell. And that means he probably killed my sister. You have a gun. Let’s go put a bullet in his head and get the hell out of this dump.”

“Wait, Mark,” you replied, standing up and grabbing his arm. “Let’s just think about this for a little longer.”

“What’s left to think about?” Mark asked grimly. 

“Let’s say Johnny is telling the truth. He’s Toxic and Doyoung is the Emperor,” you started, lowering your reach to his hands. “That means they’re trying to kill each other even though they work together. Why?”

Mark shrugged his shoulders again. “No idea. What did Johnny tell you?”

You thought about that interaction you’d had with Johnny on the second floor, where he’d confessed to being complicit in the nightmare you were currently living. “He said that this trip was the only way to kill Doyoung, but I don’t get why he would want to kill his boss.”

“I do,” Mark replied. “Think about it. You’re Johnny’s sub. The cold case excluded, when has it ever taken you months to kill someone?”

Your lips were in a line. You didn’t want to entertain the idea that Johnny genuinely cared about you, because you didn’t want to be wrong. But he said it himself he had ample opportunity to leave you for dead. He never did. 

“Never.”

“Exactly,” Mark said. “He’s obviously stalling. If Doyoung is his direct boss and he’s been assigned to help pick us all off for being in that unit, he’s not gonna wanna go through with killing you, especially if he really loves you.”

You chewed that over. There was something about your affection for Johnny that triggered your fight or flight instincts in a way you’d never experienced before. You were stuck between a rock and a hard place, and it was suffocating. 

“It’s your call,” Mark told you, patting you on the shoulder. “We can always kill them both if that makes you happier.”

You laughed for the first time in a long time, but you knew that wasn’t what you wanted. You were just so scared. Fear was one of the most natural human emotions and yet you were so ashamed to be afraid. It made you feel out of control. “No,” you replied, shaking your head. “I think I know what I need to do.”

“Then, let’s go,” Mark said, waving you forward with his hand.

With one final breath, you nodded and silently followed Mark out of the bar through the double doors. You hoped you were making the right decision. This was beyond life or death. You weren’t afraid to die. You were afraid of dying alone. 

When in the hallway, there was a light in one of the rooms on the right side. You and Mark exchanged glances, noticing that the door was ajar. It looked like a laundry room, likely connecting to a sauna or pool. There were a bunch of white towels stacked on top of each other from what you could see.

“You go ahead. I’m gonna check this out,” Mark told you, distracted.

You narrowed your eyes. Did he seriously think you were going to leave him alone? He’d just barely survived being thrown into a closet to rot like an animal. “Mark, no. You don’t have a weapon. Come on, it’s just a closet.”

As if he didn’t hear a word you said, Mark walked off. “Five minutes.”

You shook your head in disbelief, but there was no opportunity to argue, because he had already disappeared. 

“Unbelievable,” you mumbled under your breath, disgruntled. That boy had a death wish. You were practically certain of it now. What had he seen that made him want to investigate instead of minding his own business? A ghost?

The more you walked into the lobby, the less confident you were beginning to feel. You couldn’t afford to be wrong. Even if you weren’t afraid of death, there were more lives at stake than just your own. You had Mark to take care of, even if he was perfectly capable of defending himself, and you had honor. 

It was everything in your world. You may not have been on a team anymore, but if there was anything the league did teach you other than how to be a lethal, unstoppable bullet no one would ever see coming, it was that you didn’t leave your family to die. And it was a principle you still followed despite your reproach for the network. 

With how you had grown up, taken under the wing of a hawk to become an even deadlier hawk, you knew there was no one you could really trust. Hardly even yourself. 

But you also knew that living life with no one really, truly by your side was lonely. 

You didn’t even need to look for Johnny. He was creeping down the hallway with quick, soundless steps, totally not looking suspicious. When his eyes locked on you, he went rigidly still. 

“Johnny,” you called out faintly. 

Johnny put his index finger up to his lip, shushing you, and approached you ever so slightly. With the gun in your grip and your evident distrust of him, he wasn’t taking any chances. His voice was light as a feather as he said your name. “I know I had you under the impression that I was some oasis away from this world and I apologize. I never wanted to hurt you. Ever.”

The sudden apology had you taken aback, even though you tried to stay on guard. It was hard when you were around Johnny. Your body was so used to being at ease when you were with him, not registering him as a threat. “You never hurt me.”

“I never hurt you,” Johnny repeated, knowing what you’d meant by that. He had never physically caused you any pain - not more than you’d bargained for, at least. “And I hope you can believe me when I say that I never plan to. If nothing else is, my feelings for you are real. The thought of hurting you alone makes me angry.”

You silently took his words in. They sounded so genuine, so affectionate. You were good at recognizing lies when you heard them, but it was clear by now that you were a little weak in that regard when you were blinded by emotion. Your judgment was clouded. 

Johnny glanced over his shoulder and continued, “That’s why I have to do this. That’s why I have to kill Doyoung. He knows that I won’t go through with the order and he won’t rest until one of us is dead.”

“That’s why you want the gun,” you replied, realizing Mark had been right. Johnny cared about you too much to let you die. 

Johnny looked over his shoulder again, like he was being watched. Or followed. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that he was trying to stay clear of his boss. “Give me the gun and I can end this. We can meet my mom. We can go any place in the goddamn world. We can settle down if that’s what you want.”

Footsteps echoed in the halls. They weren’t coming from behind you, so you knew it wasn’t Mark. It was someone else. 

“Please,” Johnny replied, surprising you. You’d never heard him beg for a damn thing in the entire time you’d known him. 

You swallowed, weighing your options. There weren’t many. Either you gave him the gun or you kept it for yourself. You just couldn’t understand why he was so adamant on having it, if not to turn it on you at some point. “Why do you need the gun? Why can’t I do it?” you asked quietly. 

“I don’t want his blood on your hands.”

Your heart thumped with an intense, deep tremor. Those words were weirdly sentimental to you in a way that was inexplicable. He was willing to take the blame so that you wouldn’t have a mark on your back. You believed him. If Doyoung was the Emperor, that made him one of the most influential figures in the underground. His death would send shock waves through the league and likely even through the public. 

The syndicate would have its revenge. No one would take out its Emperor and not be penalized accordingly for it, but you thought about it some more. Not only would the lack of power weaken them, but there was a way to take advantage of the situation at hand. 

So you gave Johnny the gun, holding your breath. He accepted it. 

The footsteps drew closer, louder. Johnny pulled you behind him and whipped around. 

It all happened in a blink. 

A gunshot echoed out. Your ears rang from the loud noise and you shuddered, only vaguely remembering the last time you had heard something so deadly. You thought you would be numb. It used to feel like nothing. Right now, however, staring down at where the bullet had pierced Doyoung squarely between the eyes, the feeling in your chest teetered toward relief. 

“Damn,” Johnny replied, handing you back the gun. “I’m still a damn good shot. What can’t I do?”

It took you a second, but you managed a laugh. The sight was surreal, but something told you that you’d made the right choice. 

Johnny rubbed his temple. He was clearly relieved too. “Alright, trivia time. You were in a unit for a year tasked with knowing everything about us. What do you know about me?”

“Uh, you’ve been dealing with poison for at least a decade. You’re the best poison specialist in the league and you learned in America, but you do dirty business with chemists all over the globe so that there’s less of a trail, which has made you a super pain in the ass,” you replied, reciting everything you knew from memory. 

The longer you thought about it, the more sense it made. Johnny had been hiding in plain sight this entire time and you’d had no idea. The thought made you somewhat uneasy, but you also had to admit that you were impressed.

“You’re forgetting the part where I’m his right hand.”

You gawked. “You’re what?”

Johnny chuckled, glancing at Doyoung’s lifeless corpse with no remorse. “Well, I was two minutes ago, that is. I’m the Emperor now.” 

Now that was a surprise. You knew their functions, but you had never understood the exact hierarchy system in the syndicate. “Johnny, what the...”

Johnny looked more than enthusiastic to explain, but his gaze quickly became distracted. By the time you caught the flicker of motion that had stolen his attention, it was too late. 

You tensed when you heard another gunshot rang out in the hallway. You and Johnny instinctively both clung to each other, shuddering with the same fear. 

Sol slumped to the ground as quickly as he’d moved.

Mark stepped forward, panting. He pushed his hair out of his face, lowering the weapon he’d somehow gotten ahold of. “Found the guns,” he announced, scratching his head.

You sighed in relief, but your eyes were wide with confusion. Sol must have stolen them, not that that made any sense whatsoever. “I thought he was dead?”

“That’s what Doyoung told me,” Mark said, glancing between the two very dead, bleeding bodies on the floor. “Damn, that’s a clean shot.”

“Thank you,” Johnny chirped, simpering.

You shook your head, emptying the chamber of the gun you were holding and handing it over to Johnny. “Get this damn thing away from me.”

The grin on Johnny’s face turned upside down when he heard your tone. “Hey, it’s done. It’s over.”

Mark smiled, watching you both from afar. There was a bittersweet feeling in his heart at the thought of what he’d lost and the sight of what you’d gained. “It’s over,” he echoed. 

You nodded, holding onto Johnny like you would die without him. Though you still couldn’t help but notice he was still covered in blood. “So why are you wearing blood if you didn’t kill the lady at the front desk?”

“I got into a little fight with that guy. I had no idea you knew him,” Johnny replied, lifting his shirt and revealing a bloody gash. 

You gawked. “You got stabbed?”

Johnny laughed. “You didn’t notice, right?”

“You have a pain tolerance even a masochist would bitch about,” you said, shaking your head. “I should have known. You have all those tattoos.”

“Never trust a guy with tattoos,” Johnny said jokingly. 

You snickered. “No, absolutely never.”

Mark seemed to have finally caught his breath. “Hey, Johnny guy. So, there’s not a team of snipers sitting outside this place?”

Johnny shook his head. “Nah. Doyoung really had it out for you guys, wanted to kill you himself.”

Mark sighed. “Where does Sol fit in all this? Doyoung said he was poisoned.”

Johnny shrugged. “Doyoung’s lied to you guys a lot, even all those years ago. He was planting fake clues to lead you guys astray, but you were still getting closer than he thought you would. So he threw in the towel.”

Hearing that made you frown. You’d looked up to Doyoung, admired him even. You hated that things had to end this way. “So is Margo really dead?”

“Who? That girl in your unit you were talking about on the plane?” Johnny asked. “I don’t know.”

Mark’s face fell. 

Your heart ached. Untangling yourself from Johnny’s arms, you walked over to Mark and pulled him in for a hug. “Go,” you whispered. “Look for her.”

“I have a better idea,” Johnny said. “If we get somewhere with better service, I can ask my team. If she’s dead, one of them probably know. Doyoung hasn’t been telling me stuff anymore for obvious reasons.”

Mark glanced at Johnny from over your shoulder. “You’re serious, dude? You’d do that?”

“A friend of the woman I love is a friend of mine. I can do a small favor. I have to let them know Doyoung’s dead anyway.”

Your heart warmed, but a question lingered over your head as you released Mark, and you asked, “But won’t they bark when they find out you killed him?”

Johnny’s shoulders shook as he laughed. There was a very, very tiny possibility, but that was why he took the kill. “Who said they had to find out? Dead men tell no tales.”

It was your turn to laugh. No one ever had to know. You could keep a secret, especially if it meant you’d be free from this hell. “I guess that’s true,” you replied, nodding. “Dead men tell no tales.”

[mayaflowerxs]

BABY MAKING

Synopsis: What was meant to be a quick shopping trip to Target ends in you and your husband trying for a second baby.

Warning: Fluff / Humorish / Smut. Swear word usage, Est. Couple, Father!Jaehyun, pregnancy kink, daddy kink, and more!

A/N: Here’s a little something while I finish the requests sorry it’s taking a while, anyways enjoy! :)

Pairing: Jaehyun x fem reader

Your parents had insisted on looking over your daughter which you didn’t hesitate to agree. You had to admit, you love your daughter a blessing really but it’s gotten a point in your life where you just need that fresh breath of air. Even if it means your time be spent running errands. Much like you, your husband was on the same page. Endless nights from both work and parenting takes a toll on a person. The eye bags on both yours and his face have gotten visibly deeper along with the noticeable fatigue. And as you drop off your daughter with one last kiss to her adorable little head, the two of you were off.

Target. The store where there’s practically everything one could possibly need. You enter wearing baggy sweats and lose t-shirt. Hair in a messy bun as you start looking over your grocery list, for the lack of time the list has gotten rather long. Jaehyun by your side as he took the responsibility in maneuvering the cart. “Eggs, Milk, Diapers, Paper Towels…” as the two of you go aisle by aisle you felt yourself at ease for the time being. For a while it seemed like it was only you two. Just how it was only a year ago. It still feels odd to think you’re a mother now. Staring down at your hand and seeing the pearly white Diamond glimmering on your ring finger, shifting your eyes and seeing Jaehyun’s as well. Feeling his elbow nudge you, you look up at him. A soft smile on his face as he tilts his head at you. “You okay? You kinda spaced out on me.” Chuckling lightly you nod, “I’m good. You got the formula?” “Right here. Oh look they have my socks I wear.” Letting him walk off to inspect the aisle of socks, you check off the formula on your list. Waiting for your husband to choose a pair of socks took quite a while, too long you might say. And just before you’re about ready to hurry him up you hear the cry of a baby behind you.

Turning and seeing a mother had been strolling by, picking up her son as she consoles him. You can’t help but smile at the scene, until you stopped. With wide eyes, you turn to face your husband. “Jae gimme your hoodie.” Not turning to face you he responds, “Baby didn’t I say to bring a sweater? I told you it was gonna be cold.” He snorts wincing when you leave a rather hard smack on his bicep. Looking back, his eyes widen when he sees you clenching your chest. “Are you…?” “Yes Jae, I’m lactating!” The sound of a baby’s cry has left a wet patch on your through your shirt.

Yay on motherhood.

Quick to take his hoodie off, he covers you from any passerby’s. “Can’t believe this is happening.” Hearing Jaehyun chuckle, you send him a glare as you are left uncomfortably soaked. “Lets just get the rest of the groceries and get out of here.” You tell him annoyedly, and without another word he grabs his socks and quickly puts it in the cart.

With every passing second spent in Target was just another second your poor breasts were being filled with milk. And as the thought came in, the realization settled. “God I forgot the breast pump is broken.” You say, “It’s alright we can go grab another it’ll be the last thing before checking out.” Nodding the two of you make your way out. About to enter the aisle you’re forcibly knocked into another person walking out in a hurry. Clutching your chest in pain by the sudden pressure. “Excuse you!” Jaehyun shouts when he sees the woman simply walk by without even acknowledging your presence. Rolling his eyes at her, his irritated expression changes immediately of one of worry. “You okay baby?” Out of words to say from the pain you simply nod and wave him off. Instead you merely point at the breast pump. “Right.” Grabbing it and putting it in the cart, he wraps an arm around your waist and helps you move. By the time the two of you made it outside, you didn’t wait for Jaehyun and instead grabbed the box with the pump and ran straight to the passengers seat.

A grin on his face as he watched you, wearing slides and holding your chest as you struggled to open the door, looking up at him and seeing he had the keys held up for you to see. “Open it!” He hears you yell in which he snorts and does so. By the time he’s done filling the trunk with the grocery bags, he gets in and sees you almost filling a bottle full of breast milk. “Did not think it’d get swollen so quickly.” You moan in pain as you try to massage the tender breast. Sending you a sympathetic smile he leans in and kisses you. “Love you.” He mumbles on your lips. “Yeah yeah-“ You say trying to not put much attention to the obvious heat your face was getting from his words. Years later and still he had you a blushing mess. Hearing him laugh, he leans further and presses a kiss on your boob. Buckling in, he turns on the ignition and looks over at you. “Want Starbucks? Heard it’s okay to have a bit of caffeine while breast feeding…I can even get you a cake pop.” Looking at him, you contemplate it for a bit before nodding. Smiling, he rests a hand on your thigh and gives it a soft squeeze before backing out of the parking lot.

By the time you’re in the drive thru and waiting in the long line of cars, Jaehyun can’t help but revert his eyes over at you. The pumping is rather loud and after a while it’s gotten annoying with his hoodie constantly in the way so you pushed it up and now have your entire chest out in the open. Thank god for the tinted windows you managed to convince him to get. Swallowing as he bounces his leg quicker than ever. “Geez what’s gotten you so fidgety?” You joke at him, completely oblivious to the effect you have on him. Missing the hard gulp he takes, he doesn’t have time to respond to you before he’s having to drive forward and roll his window down. The man about to read him his bill, gets his words caught in his throat when he noticed you. Jaehyun whips his head around and grabs his hoodie and tugs it down. A whine escapes you as it caused the bottle to tip and have some of the milk spill.

“Jae-“ Face palming when you see the poor boy’s face red and hot you look down. Resting a hand on the arm rest covering your view of him. “Sorry about that.” Jaehyun can merely say before handing him his card. Clearing his throat awkwardly, the cashier mutters out a low, ‘it’s okay’ before swiping the card.

“You could have at least warned me.” You tell him the second the window is up and getting out of the drive thru. “I’m sorry I wasn’t thinking how could I?” “What, are you saying my breasts are too distracting?” You ask him as you take a bite out of your cake pop. He goes to respond but is cut off when you groan in pain again. “God I don’t understand how my girls can work so fast. I’m already full again!” Hearing the sound of the pump again, Jaehyun takes a quick glance over and seeing your breasts were out in the open again. Feeling the familiar tightness in his pants he shifts in his seat uncomfortably before clearing his throat. “Babe I know it’s something out of your control but-“ he barely manages to get out as his hand grips on the steering wheel, his other on your thigh riding higher up your leg.

“Oh my god are you seriously turned on right now?” You say surprisingly. “Can you blame me? You know I’m a titties man.” Slapping his chest, he smirks and glances over at you briefly. “Gosh when aren’t you horny?” “Hey I didn’t see you complaining the night our daughter was conceived.” Mouth slightly parted you squint your eyes at him. “My period was close to kicking in, my hormones were running high.” “Yeah,” he scoffs. “Hormones alright let’s blame it on that.” He finishes while trailing higher until they rest on top of your clothed cunt. Gasping, you grip his wrist. “Still sensitive as always, shall I blame that on the hormones as well?”

Smirking when he sees you spread your legs he begins to rub circles. A small moan falls off your lips, “Of course I’m sensitive, I did just shit out a baby a few months ago.” “Birthed babe, you birthed our daughter.”

“Yeah well when you’re in a state of pure agony you no longer give a shit if you were constipated or giving birth either way, you’re being ripped apart regardless.”

Lifting your hand, he takes it up to his lips and presses a kiss. “And I’m so proud of you for that. I don’t say it enough but you really are so strong and admirable, I could never and it’s why I love you so much.” Sending him a soft smile, you pick up your drink and take a sip of it. For a while it was silent the car ride home, and it isn’t until you’re only a block away does he speak up.

“I’m still horny by the way.”

The groceries go ignored the second Jaehyun parks in the drive way. Carrying you inside the empty house his focus is on you. Sliding his tongue in your mouth as you run your hands through his hair. Setting you on to the closest furniture, the couch. He begins to take off his shirt. Tossing it aside as he leans back in to attach his lips with yours. Large hands roaming up your stomach, lifting your shirt to trace the beautiful stretch marks he’s fallen in love with. A memory of when you were pregnant with his daughter. Finding his way to your breasts where you let out a loud moan the second he punches your nipples. Trailing gentle kisses on them and feeling himself get harder when he notices a small streak of your milk fall down your chest. The tightness in his jeans is painful, and his grunts are heard throughout the house the second your hand is placed on top of his bulge.

“Please baby.” “What is it my love?” He curls a finger underneath your chin and tilts his head. “Mhm?” “Let me make you feel good.” Pupils dark and dilated, he finds no reason to object. Standing up and unbuckling his belt, he hissed when the cool air hits his hard cock. Soft hands fisting him as you kitten lick him. Too slow for his taste, and so he grabs your chin and gets you to open. Grabbing his dick and propping it in your mouth. “Good girl.” He groans when he feels your tongue salivate him. Taking him deeper and quickening your pace. Bobbing your head as you gag every now and then. Music to his hears, enamored with your beautiful eyes that look up at him for approval. “Taking me so well, keep sucking pretty girl.” Fisting your hair in his hold his breathing becomes uneven the sloppier you suck him. Pulling away and a long stripe of your saliva connecting you to him. He’s red and veiny and it only makes you want to keep sucking him more. Until he’s completely empty. Jaehyun was right, hormones wasn’t the reason why you yearned for him so much. You being on your period wasn’t why you got pregnant. You got pregnant because you want him, everyday. A man so appealing like him is impossible to not be attracted.

The man standing before you yearns for you just as much. Seeing you on your knees taking his big cock is enough to fuck you with his babies any time of the day. With how sex craved the two of you are, he’s surprised it took you guys this long to finally get pregnant. The slurps and gargles are heard bouncing off the walls, grunts and groans coming from your husband add on to it. His abs are clenched when he feels the familiar feeling beginning to form. Throwing his head back, he starts fucking your throat. With need and desperation he’s trying to find his climax. “Shit!” He can’t help but swear when you suck in your cheeks. The tightness around his dick, your warm mouth and talented tongue is enough to throw him over the edge. He feels himself explode in your mouth, shooting it all down your throat. Shivers coursing throughout his skin when he feels you hum on his dick. Watching you swallow every single drop. A small twinkle in your eyes as a bit of his cum falls from the crevice of your mouth. Leaning in to kiss you, he tastes the saltiness of himself. “Not done with you yet.” He murmurs on top of your lips.

He was right. For the time your parents had your daughter, Jaehyun took it as an opportunity to get back some husband and wife bonding time. He missed your touch, and even though the cuddling and make outs are just as good he still craved you. Seeing you pumping milk did things to him and even though it pained him to see you in labor tired and in pain it only made him want to love you a thousand times more. Your round belly and the after glow of postpartum birth, he feels like a dog thinking this way but he can’t help but want to fuck another baby in you. So soon but he wants to, needs to.

The two of you always spoke of how many kids you’d want and even though Jaehyun was the one who wanted a big family in comparison to you, the two of you agreed you at least wanted the kids to be close in age. Which is why he has no problem getting you nice and spread on the kitchen counter. Not caring you were in the middle of putting away the milk you had just pumped, and instead focuses on making you come over and over again with his tongue. Get you nice and soak so you’re ready to take him for countless rounds it takes to get you nice and stuffed. “Jae!” You hiccup, he doesn’t remove his mouth. He doesn’t even flinch, instead he buries his face further into your pussy. Eating you like a starved man and grunting each time your nails tugged a little too hard on his hair. “Baby it’s too much!” You throw your head back on the table. Completely naked for him just the way he likes it, hickies left all over your skin trailing them down to your sensitive pussy where your legs are trying their hardest not to close. Your husband’s large hands keeping them spread as he spits on your clit before diving right back in.

Your breath hitches as you shake in his hold. Another orgasm is ripped out of you, tears falling down your face. Jaehyun can feel you throbbing on his tongue, your sweet juices hitting his tastebuds. Finally, he pulls away. A shimmer around his mouth as he pulls you closer to the edge of the table. Leaning in to press a firm kiss on your lips, muffling the loud moan of yours when he forced himself inside you. No matter how much scissoring and tongue fucking he’s done you simply refuse to get used to his size. Your husband’s too big and it’s what drives you into subspace. He knows that, which is why he fucks you for hours if he really wanted to. Until he sees your pretty tears and face lost in pure bliss does he let up. Your husband has insane stamina, he can go for so long without ever climaxing. That’s unless you blow him, then he turns putty for you.

“So big!” You gasp out, eyes shut but Jaehyun doesn’t like that. No, you can’t lose yourself right now. He needs your eyes on him, to see how beautifully connected you two are. How well you take him, tapping your cheek he presses a soft kiss on your cheekbone. “Open those pretty eyes for me mama.” Mewling, he doesn’t give you time to disobey him. Lightly slapping the side of your face to get you to look at him and when you do he can’t help but grin. You looked ethereal in your current position, seeing you shining in sweat, chest covered in his love marks and lips swollen he can practically go feral for you. So he does. Gripping your legs and hovering them over your hips he begins to ram into you. The claps much louder along with your moans. Breath hitching each time he hits your gspot, your hands quick to grab onto his forearm digging your nails into his skin. Giving him space to nuzzle his face in the crook of your neck. His favorite place to stuff his face in second to stuffing it in your sopping pussy.

You feel his hot tongue running up your neck, shivering at the sensation especially when your husband doesn’t show signs in slowing down. Your walls gripping him tightly the harder he pounds into you. It felt good, so good your eyes began to tear up. Squelches were heard as your stomach kept clenching. When he pulls away, his hair is in the way. His eyes slightly covered, looking down he lets out a loud grunt upon seeing the prominent bump near your lower abdomen. “Where you feel me?” He huskily asks. “So deep!” Grabbing your hand, he leads it down to your stomach and has it lying on top of the print of his tip. “Feel me here baby?” “Yes!” Throwing your head back when he stops his movement to focus on thrusting further. “How about now?”

You couldn’t answer, you felt full and pure bliss. And as much as you’d like to indulge in the pleasure, your husband has a need for you to remind him how good he makes you feel. “Answer me.” “God I feel you in my stomach Jae!” It’s all he wanted to hear to get back to fucking you. Plunging in and out, quick motions before he pulls out and turns you around. Despite the insane amount lust he has, he takes the time to grab a pillow and rest it under your hip. Gentle to pull your hair away from your face and use it as leverage when he goes back to ramming inside you.

“I’m so close!” He’s gone silent, and you know once he is it means he too is close. And as the two of you are hitting your climax, you’ll soon come to find out this won’t be the last of it today.

Your parents are meant to drop your daughter off soon, in an hour precisely when the clock strikes 9 but Jaehyun wasn’t worried. He’s taken the initiative to have sex with you on all the surface inside the house. He can’t quite explain where this sudden horniness came from, maybe the breast pumping truly was a turn on for him and he just now acted upon it. It only took about half up to an hour before Jaehyun attached himself back on you. Wrapping his arms, pressing heated kisses to the nape of your neck, rubbing his groin up against your ass before he bends you over whatever surface nearest to you. By the time night came, your and his hair looked completely disheveled along with bruised lips. Necks covered in dark colors and both reeking of sex.

Couch, bed, kitchen counter, wall, door it was endless and he was sure he had gotten you pregnant by now. You guys went at it like a bunch of bunnies no way he didn’t knock you up. And as he lied on the bed watching you get ready to shower, the thought of you wet and naked had him getting hard again. Not even uttering a single word before he follows you in. “Excuse me?” Not responding, he closes the door and begins to take off his shirt. Revealing his toned chest to be covered in scratch marks, fainted lipstick and hickies. “One more won’t hurt right?” He raises a brow and smiles mischievously. “Are you trying to impregnate me with twins or something?” Shrugging, he picks you up and settles you on the counter. Pressing his lips on top of yours, he helps take off your oversized tee. “Would it be so bad?”

Giggling, you open your legs to let him fit right between them. Seeing his eyes darken as he leans in to start fondling with your breasts. Gasping when you feel yourself starting to lactate. “Jae!” Holding you still he continues to suck. Your tits were sensitive, you couldn’t hold still but this never faltered the man in front of you. Instead he grew determined and as he tastes your sweet milk he knew, there was absolutely no way he could wait who knows how many days before he can have you to himself again. Play with you as much as his heart desires. So, with reluctance he pulls away. Watching a few drops fall on your stomach. Leaning in to lick it up, you feel yourself begin to get excessively wet again. Playing with his soft hair, your intrusive thoughts wanting you to simply push his head a bit further to where you most need him.

“Be right back, need to make a call. Get in while I do that.” He says hurriedly. Curling a finger around your chin, he pulls you in for another wet sloppy kiss before walking out the bathroom. With a huff, you do as told and get into the shower. And while the bathroom steamed up, waiting impatiently for your husband to return and fuck you. Jaehyun quickly picked up his phone and dialed the familiar phone number. One ring, two rings and on the third they picked up.

“Afternoon Mrs. Y/l/n, so sorry to bother but something came up and I don’t think we’ll be home tonight. You wouldn’t mind if she stayed with you for the night right?”